


Saving Valentine

by jesbakescookies



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Brutal, Brutality, Drama, Ends with warm fuzzies though, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gore, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Slow Burn, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture, Trauma, Violence, but it's worth it, dark Negan, non canon characters, slightly OOC, this fanfic is kinda dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-28 18:18:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 51
Words: 255,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14455035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesbakescookies/pseuds/jesbakescookies
Summary: She fought and killed to survive but she lived for revenge. Valentine waits for the right moment to kill the man who murdered her family. Can she do what needs to be done to escape the Sanctuary that is her prison? Can she accept the helping hand from strangers to do it? Can she live with all she lost? TWD world, non canon timeline.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for checking out my fanfiction. This completed fic is posted on ffn, I am currently moving my work to a03 so it will take a little a bit as I copy and paste my fingertips away. 
> 
> FYI: I wrote this partially before Negan made his appearance on the show. My Negan is darker than the show and may seem OOC to some comic book enthusiasts. Apologies if it's not your cup of tea. 
> 
> Character inspiration:  
> Valentine - Helena in Orphan Black played by Tatiana Maslany
> 
>  
> 
> I don't own the walking dead, its characters or story lines etc. OC and non canon storylines are mine.
> 
> Please subscribe, comment and kudos!
> 
> ~jesbakescookies

Valentine knelt in an abandoned warehouse converted into a so-called Sanctuary. Jeering men and women surrounded her, the large space was lit with torches and barrels filled with fire. The shadows jumped across the vaulted walls and dirty floors. Valentine watched the blood coming from her husband's shattered head trail along the cracks in the stained concrete. The deep crimson followed the seam right towards her. His lifeblood pointing at the reason for his demise. Paul gave his life trying to protect her and look where it got them. They were all going to die now. Valentine's eyes were blurry and unfocused as the sight of Paul's disfigured face burned into her mind. The broken bones and viscera sprayed across the floor, sticky fluid speckling her face, chest and arms.

The leader of the Sanctuary, who introduced himself as Negan, was strolling around her in a hostile circle. His flippant attitude towards killing the love of her life lit a fire in Valentine's chest. She prayed to live long enough for revenge.

"This didn't have to fucking happen you know." He remarked with a frown, pointing his bloodied weapon at her as chunks of hair and tissue hung from the end. "I gave you both the choice to live but he had to be a fuckity fucking selfish asshole."

She swallowed thickly at the thought of the outrageous choice Negan gave Paul. Relinquish Valentine and keep himself and his son safe. Her choice was to become the monster's wife willingly to save her family. She was going to do it but Paul rejected the proposition. He refused to allow his wife to become a glorified whore. There was no rape in the Sanctuary but there seemed to be manipulated consent. Deals brokered with threats to loved ones. Now Paul was dead and Negan was too infuriated to let the offer stand. It was too late and now they were going to end up just like Paul. Broken and bloodied.

Blinking through the tears, she saw the men holding her son, his cries and screams echoed in the giant room filled with long abandoned factory equipment. She stared at Michael and mouthed 'I love you' as she prepared to be murdered also. Negan was warming up his swing arm, the barbwire wrapped baseball bat rounding widely. His large frame was menacing but his eyes and maniacal smile were even more disconcerting. She could tell he was a dangerous predator, the top of the food chain. The evidence of his lethality lay in front of her.

Valentine understood she was about to die and all she could hope for was that her son wouldn't meet the same fate. Not that she wanted him to grow up in a place like the one they were in but she hoped he wasn't beaten to death like his father.

"Any last words?" Negan taunted, his eyes dark with a sadistic gleam. She didn't respond to him, only glanced at her son hoping he could see in her eyes how much she loved him. Tears streaked his red splotchy face, his gangly frame being held back by two rough looking men.

Negan brought his bat back, his wide shoulders flexing as the blunt object swung out and around. Valentine clenched her eyes shut waiting for the deathblow but only heard the bat crack against something. Her face was sprayed with warm fluid and she smelled the already oppression scent of blood intensify. Valentine heard a gurgled whimper and shocked gasps from around the room. When she opened her eyes she was met with the crushed face of her son Michael. Negan paused a moment looking at what he had just done. The boy had pulled away from the guards to protect his mother. The swing meant for Valentine had landed against his wide-eyed innocent face.

Valentine's screams pierced the air causing Negan to sneer and bring his bat down angrily again and again until nothing remained of her son's face. She couldn't stop herself from lunging forward, spreading her body on top of the dead boy. The blows stopped and all that could be heard were her anguished cries and desperate sobs. Hands grabbed Valentine, pulling her away from her son's body. She saw Negan shouting and pointing at the men to take her away but she couldn't just go. Fury filled her chest and she reached out grabbing the machete from one of the men's belts. She swung it out disemboweling one man and stabbing another before anyone could stop her. Valentine charged at Negan screaming at the top of her lungs. Before she could reach him she was tackled and then pistol whipped. Her eyes went dark and head splintered in pain. Her last sight was Negan crouched next to her, his mouth curling up and eyes amused.

* * *

Valentine was in a holding cell waiting for Negan to visit. After he killed her husband and son she lost it. Negan found her fury amusing and decided he'd keep her around a little longer. He'd been orchestrating the fights as entertainment and punishment for the Sanctuary for months now. The 'fight to the death' spectacles had been a hit with the Saviors and other Sanctuary residents. Until now it had only been male fighters but the display of Valentine's rage gave Negan inspiration. She was to start fighting to earn her keep. Everyone in the Sanctuary had to earn rations and living space by working different jobs throughout the complex and beyond the walls. Without working people lived in squalor in the common room or they starved.

The creaking of the door opening brought Valentine back from her tangled mind and her eyes up from the floor. She watched Negan stroll in, his bat sitting gracefully on his broad leather clad shoulder. His gloved hands stroked it almost graphically while his eyes roamed over Valentine.

"Hey there Love. How's solitary treating you?" He inquired jovially his tall frame crowding the small broom closet of a room. Valentine stood with her arms crossed, her eyes cold and jaw set. The man made her sick. Negan was a disgusting sadist and Valentine would do anything to kill him. Anything.

"Not talking huh? Kinda fucking childish don't you think Valentine?" he jeered, his teeth bared and her name spoken like a curse word.

Growing frustrated with her Negan grabbed her throat, slamming her into the corner of the tiny room, his face looming into hers. She snarled, her teeth shining in the bare bulb light like a wild animal. Negan smirked and squeezed her throat tighter making her struggle against his towering frame.

"Now now. Just talk and I won't fucking strangle you."

Valentine's mouth opened, her lungs burning and head buzzing for air. Negan let up and allowed her to suck deep breathes and then asked, "Gonna speak to me?"

Valentine gasped and looked away, her burning eyes focusing on the wall behind the man. She wasn't giving him anything. If she had to fight so be it but she would rather die than give him what he wanted. She could control very few things in her life now, speaking to him was one of them, consequences be damned. What more could she lose?

Negan became irate his frame rising up, chest puffing out and shoulders rolling forward, "Gonna fucking regret being so difficult Love."

Tossing her to the floor Negan hollered over his shoulder, "Conner gather the Saviors and take her to the common room, she needs a reminder of who she's fucking with."

* * *

Valentine was being held by two of Negan's men in front of the people of Sanctuary. She didn't know what was happening other than she was being punished for giving Negan the silent treatment. Fear trickled down her spine and she involuntarily shivered. He strolled in with Lucille, the new barbwire shining under the torchlight, his hands stroking it affectionately. Valentine's blood ran cold at the sight of his darkened eyes and large maniacal grin.

"You ready?" Negan asked rhetorically before ordering, "Conner cut her shirt off."

His eyes gleamed at the fear in her face and the shudders running through her body. Valentine struggled against the biting grip of the two men by her sides as Conner approached. He seemed remorseful but still did as Negan ordered. She felt him cut up the back of her shirt and bra. The fabric fell apart and exposed her bare back to the spectators. The crowd hooted, jeers and catcalls echoing off the walls. Negan whistled lowly and sauntered over whispering next to her ear, "Got sexy skin Love. Fucking pale and smooth. Bet you wanna keep it that way yeah?"

Valentine ground her teeth harshly, the enamel crunching under the pressure. She didn't know what he planned to do but she wasn't giving in.

'Survive Val, Survive.' She heard her dead husband's last words.

Negan growled deeply and sneered, "Hold her steady boys. Valentine prepare for Lucille. Pretty fuckin' sure you're gonna regret being such a cunt to me."

Valentine braced herself for pain but wasn't expecting just how horrific it was going to be. Negan dug Lucille into her shoulder and slowly stroked the weapon down her back, curving along and dipping at her waist. The sharp barbwire was carving into her flesh, tearing the skin and meat of her back. Blood rolled down her spine and soaked the waist of her pants. She screamed out as her nerve endings sparked like lightening across her body. Sharp pain was spreading like wildfire down her limbs, curling her toes and clenching her fists. Snarling at the sensation Valentine struggled against the grip of his men weakly. Her ears were ringing and vision spotting as the vicious tool was finally pulled away.

She could hear Negan laughing and speaking but nothing made any sense. The garbled sound of the crowd and the loud hum in her head drowned out his words. Tears streamed down her face as she gasped in painful lungfuls, choking on violent sobs. Her body was screaming for oxygen and relief from the agony but it didn't wane.

Negan appeared in front of her, his head dipping to catch her eyes with his blown pupils. Valentine saw his curved mouth moving but she couldn't understand him. Suddenly she was being dragged away, her feet trying to walk but tripping over invisible obstacles.

They entered a small room lined with medical equipment and she was dropped on a gurney. Another man came in and spoke to the guards before they left. He crouched down next to her making Valentine flinch backwards violently, the stinging from her back intensifying. His hands came up to calm her and his mouth moved but she still couldn't hear. The pain emanating from her back took all other senses away from Valentine. All she could think of or feel was the excruciating pain smothering her. Every nerve ending was screaming out for relief. She watched as the man prepared a table of tools and syringe of liquid.

When he went to give her the shot Valentine whimpered and tried to crawl away but he held her shoulder firmly.

"Pain medication." He spoke loudly, his mouth moving slowly, "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm a Dr."

Feeling out of options she laid still as he stuck her arm with syringe of clear liquid. Soon Valentine's head lulled, her breathing deepened and eyes became heavy. She felt him cleaning her wound and wiping away blood but eventually her mind gave up, shutting down as she blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

Negan looked down at her on the floor in her holding cell. Valentine had been placed there after the doctor bandaged the wounds. They gave her a bucket and a blanket before locking the door. She wasn't sure how long it had been because she had been fading in and out of consciousness. The combination of injury, blood loss and pain medicine had her mainly laying face down. Her back burned and throbbed while her head pounded. She felt as if she had the worst hangover ever after getting a massage with a cheese grater. 'Worst spa treatment ever.' She thought wryly, holding back a delirious snort.

"So Love, do mind me calling you Love? I thought it fit with the whole Valentine's Day thing. Too heavy handed?" He cocked eyebrow, giving her a smirk and when she stayed silent he asked, "Still not talking?" She looked up from her makeshift bedding and stared at him.

"God. You're a stubborn bitch aren't you?" He quipped sliding down the wall to sit across from her, his knees raised and forearms draped over them. She kept her eyes on Negan's every move while preparing for some kind of attack. Her back was twitching at her sudden tension, the scabs stinging at the pull.

"How about you give me ten words?" He suggested with a coy smirk, his eyes glinting.

Valentine took time looking over the man since he wasn't threatening to kill her at the moment. Negan was a handsome guy, a narcissistic sociopath but still attractive. He had a strong jaw and angular cheekbones. His hair was slicked back but she could tell it was thick and healthy looking. The smirk he was wearing was charming and if Valentine hadn't seen him commit acts of depravity, she wouldn't have suspected it of him.

"Well. Tens too much yeah? How about five words? Gimme five." He bartered, a bright grin showed Valentine his straight white teeth. It reminded her of a great white shark, giant jaws ready to eat someone whole.

She shifted on her bedding, wincing at the pain rippling across her skin and then found her five words. "I'm going to kill you."

Negan chuckled and cocked his head to the side, "I was expecting something more along the lines, 'fuck you, you fucking fuck' but that works." Valentine almost rolled her eyes at his joking but kept still. She watched him stare at her but didn't move a muscle. After a tense moment she saw him smirk as he came to some kind of conclusion about her.

"You're going to start fighting when Doc clears you. If you survive you'll get a real room. Maybe if you're a good little minion I'll take you on runs." Negan explained before adding, "or maybe I'll extend my offer to you again if I fucking forgive you."

The large man stood up and gave her a dazzling smile, "Rest up Love."

* * *

" _Again," Paul barked while taking his fight stance across from her. Valentine huffed out an irritated breath and grumbled, "Goddam sadist."_

_Paul laughed gruffly and gave her a wide grin. "Don't be a pussy Val."_

_She snorted and got into her position, her fists up and body tense with anticipation. Paul circled her, looking for a blind spot. She moved quickly dodging his swipes and kicks. "Good girl. Keep moving. Tire 'em out." he instructed while hopping around. Valentine kept her feet light, her body always moving._

_"That's it." He complimented, his fist jabbing out clipping her jaw. "Gonna get knocked out Val. Fists up. Up!"_

_She followed his orders, her leg lashing out and smacking his knee. Paul grunted from the impact saying, "Good. Again."_

_They went back and forth, trading hits and kicks. Paul instructed as they went, his encouragement and suggestions making Valentine as stronger fighter. They were just starting submission holds when a voice called out, "MOM! I'm hungry!"_

_Valentine panted out a tired breath and looked at her watch. It was past dinnertime. Paul and her had totally lost track of time again. It happened pretty often while training. They both enjoyed the exercise and were also very competitive with each other. It was one of the past times they enjoyed together when Paul was on military leave._

_"Alright Michael. We're coming." She hollered back to her eleven year old son. She watched his mop of brown hair vanish back into their tiny house. Paul grunted, "That kids always hungry."_

_Valentine quipped, "Like father, like son I guess."_

_Paul grabbed her sides, tickling her until she squealed for mercy. Paul hugged her sweaty body to his, the thick arms she loved holding her close. He nuzzled into her sticky neck, his mouth kissing and licking the salty tan skin. She hummed in pleasure and murmured, "We're having adult time tonight. Locked doors, background noise, dimmed lights."_

_"Pffft. No dimmed lights I want to see you riding me, baby." he replied huskily, his hands sliding up her bare sides and over her sports bra. His palms stroking the pebbled skin and soft curves. Valentine moaned, her mouth attacking her husband's, tongues stroking and twirling. They kissed deeply and thoroughly until breathless._

_"Jesus Christ Val. I can't wait to bend you..." Paul started before another scream came from the back door, "MOM! DAD! I'm starrrviiiing!"_

_Valentine tilted her head up to the sky and she muttered, "Why God? Why?"_

_Paul laughed quietly, kissing her chin and jaw whispering against her warm skin, "Because we probably did the same things to our parents. It's karma baby."_

_"If that's true... we're both truly fucked." She joked dryly, as they walked towards the son's irritable shape. Paul smiled down at her, his blue eyes crinkling in the corners and murmured, "As long as_ we do it together we'll be fine."

* * *

The man was slashing his blade out towards Valentine, her lithe body dodging each swipe. She circled him like prey, her feet crossing over each other as she rounded him. The crowd was screaming for blood, feet stomping and fists pumping. The fighting circle was surrounded by the metal walkways once used to maintain the large factory equipment, now they held the spectators of the fights. Negan used the largest platform for a makeshift VIP box housing himself and his five wives. He was currently resting his arms on the railing while shouting, "Kill him Love!"

Her opponent swung his arm out, the tip of his blade nicking the pale flesh of her chin. Growling, she surprised the man by rushing towards him, causing him to stumble and fall to his back. He sneered angrily, "Fucking cunt."

Valentine pinned his hand holding the blade and brought her other fist up, slamming it into his face. His nose exploded with blood, the bones cracking under her calloused knuckles. Her cotton wrapped fists padded the blows from hurting her but did nothing to protect his face from her punches. The man struggled to breathe, crimson fluid sprayed in Valentine's face making her snarl aggressively.

"Imma gut you bitch." He taunted thrusting the knife away from her hold and towards her ribs. Valentine caught his wrist, pushing the blade outward, the sharp edge slicing her instead of plunging inside.

"Fucking fuck!" Negan hollered in the background, "Close call Love!" She ignored the shouts and concentrated on the man below her as he growled aggressively. He pushed his hips off the ground as she landed other punch to his face, his eye swelling up. Suddenly she was pinned, his legs straddled one of her thighs and his hand pushed the knife towards her chest. Valentine was holding his wrist with trembling arms. She watched the blade gradually get closer as her arms weakened. The tip inched its way into her shoulder causing her to scream like a banshee. Rage flooded her veins as she got a rush of adrenaline. Pushing up with a sudden surge of strength she rolled them, her opponent now struggling to get out from under her.

The crowd jeered and screamed for death. Valentine brought her leg back before kneeing him violently in between the legs. The man howled in pain as she pulled her leg back and landed another brutal knee for good measure. He was in such agony the blade fell from his hand allowing Valentine to claim it. She brought it up and watched him realize he was dying.

"Fuck you," he choked out in a last act of defiance.

Valentine bared her teeth, the feral animal in her overwhelmed all other reason. She began slamming the knife into his chest. Blood splattered and sprayed her, coating her skin in crimson. The crowd screams grew fever pitch and Valentine heard Negan cheering but everything began to fade into the background. All she could think, feel and taste was blood and rage. The man was dead and even put down but she didn't stop. Pure fury poured out of her limbs. All the anger and pain of the last month flooded out of her and into the corpse below. She could feel the knife crunching into cement below as his chest gave way.

A hand grabbed her shoulder and she leapt to her feet, the gore covered blade already slicing out at the new threat. Valentine realized it was one of the nameless guards in the Sanctuary but it didn't keep her from targeting him. She circled the now fearful guy as he pulled a gun up, his trigger finger twitching. The crowd was screaming and Valentine heard Negan shouting something. All she could focus on though was killing the fucker holding a weapon on her. Two more men entered the ring causing Valentine to spread out her attack range, her head on a swivel. One man kept inching towards her, his hand jutting out to grab her. Valentine spun around sinking the blade into his neck before circling around the two remaining men. Both looked more than intimidated. The guy with the gun looked close to shooting her so she took her chance, throwing the blade into his shoulder. The gun dropped to the floor as the man screamed and Valentine prepared to take on the third guy. A loud shout behind Valentine had her turning to find Negan charging forward, Lucille pointing at her aggressively.

"Stop right fucking there Valentine." He ordered. She balled her fists and rolled her shoulders forward preparing to keep fighting. Her inner animal not backing down despite the real threat in front of her.

"Fucking stand down Love. Fights over." He growled getting closer with Lucille thrust out like a cattle prod, "Reel it the fuck in already. I like a good fight but fuck you're slaughtering all my good men."

Valentine snarled at him, her body thrumming with adrenaline. Her head was buzzing and chest heaving. She panted like a rabid dog and started backing up from the men. Valentine noticed a lot of the crowd had been dispersed, she saw Saviors pushing out the spectators. Negan approached, his bat now on his shoulder and hand up in a pacifying gesture.

"Alright. Calm your tits, ya animal." He joked, laughing gruffly, "Jesus fucking Christ I knew you'd be entertaining but shit. That was fucking crazytown."

Her hands were flexing, the bruising from punching the dead man was throbbing. Blood was dripping down her neck from the chin wound and not only was there a steady ache pulsing in her shoulder but her ribs stung from the knife slice. The man's blood coated her shaking hands and forearms deep dark red. She looked down at them with foggy eyes and a detached mind.

"Easy. Let's go see Doc." Negan suggested ticking his head toward the exit door, "C'mon."

Valentine's eyes flitted to the Saviors behind the large man, showing her distrust. Negan motioned for them to go before snapping, "Stop standing there with your dick in your hands and fuck off already. I got this."

She watched them back up hesitantly before leaving completely. Negan gestured for her to go ahead but she refused to put her back to him. He smiled widely and complimented, "Good girl. Never turn your back."

The giant man led the way, his body angled to still watch her movements. It made Valentine sneer at him, which made him laugh loudly, "Fuckity fuck you're an animal."

* * *

Valentine sat on the gurney while Negan leaned against the wall watching Docs every move. "I'm going to remove her shirt, can you step outside?" The doctor asked his tone sounding apologetic. Negan shook his head, "Nope."

She narrowed her eyes at the man and just took her shirt off for the doctor to see her wounds. Her bra was drenched with blood, the cotton wet and stained crimson. Negan's eyes were soaking up the sight greedily, his gaze focused of her hard nipples and exposed abdomen. Valentine growled but he only laughed, "Oh come on. I'm just enjoying the motherfucking PG13 show. I could see this shit on sesame street."

The doctor seemed uncomfortable letting Valentine be exposed to the man but couldn't do anything about it. He cleaned the stab wound in her shoulder and the cut on her ribs, then moved to the nick on her chin. He methodically wiped away the excess blood and gore from the man she killed.

"So Love, is this going to be standard? Going fucking beserker on everybody because I can't have that." Negan asked with arms crossed after laying Lucille gently on the other gurney. She looked at him but didn't respond, she still hadn't broken her silence since her threats to kill him. Valentine would happily let him beat her to death before she uttered another word to the monster.

Negan's eyes narrowed and he stomped over, grabbing Valentine by the throat and growling, "This motherfucking silence treatment is getting old you little bitch."

She gripped his wrist and snarled out an animalistic growl, her fingernails digging into his skin. The doctor backed up trying to keep out of the confrontation, stumbling over the stool. Negan pulled her to her feet, Valentine's injuries screamed as he stretched the rib wound out. Hissing in pain as her eyes watered Valentine watched Negan's expression flicker from anger to regret. He let her neck go and raised her arm roughly to look at the cut, clicking his tongue.

"That looks painful." He commented looking over at the doctor, "Stitch her and give her a med ration. Antibiotics and pain." The large man backed up, his eyes drifting over her partially exposed skin slowly and smirked, "See you later Love."


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't want to do this Valentine." Negan spoke evenly before digging Lucille into her side, dragging the barbs parallel to her ribs. The crowd chuckled and hooted as the blood gushed out of the wounds, drenching her cargo pants. She gritted her teeth and breathed through the pain. Dark spots flooded her eyes as nerve endings popped and fizzled. It had gotten easier for her to suppress her outward reactions to his punishments. The idea that she had enough practice was disconcerting.

Negan finished quickly, the stroke not lasting near as long as the ones on her back. The gouges gracing her back now formed a macabre set of scarred wings. The deep ruts and roping scars curved along her spine and landed on her hips. They were Negan's pride and joy at the moment, an almost artistic expression and message to others about staying in line.

The current crowd was a mixture of disgust and sickeningly entertained by his work.

"I told you not to spill blood outside the ring and what did you fucking do?" he asked and without waiting answered for her shouting, "You can't fucking kill people willy fucking nilly. Open your fucking ears and listen to me this time."

Valentine was swallowing down a whimper as her ribs pulled. Sharp stinging blazed across the inflamed skin making her body tremble. Negan's eyes narrowed and he barked, "Fuck off. Go to Doc's."

Valentine held her bloodied side applying pressure while keeping her shirt from falling off. She hadn't meant to disobey but the guy wouldn't shut the fuck up. He was taunting her about her dead kid and she snapped. Having spent months fighting and using her aggression had given her a hair trigger temper.

Part of her thought Negan would've understood if she told him what happened but speaking was out of the question. With no witnesses except for Craig who only stumbled onto the aftermath, Valentine took the punishment.

I have no regrets. Fuck that guy,' she growled inwardly as she shuffled into the doctors quarters. He looked up with a frown and asked, "What'd you do now?"

Valentine grunted in response and sat down heavily. Doc rolled his eyes and pulled out his gear muttering, "Alright let's see the damage."

* * *

Valentine stood in the center of the ring, her forearms covered in blood, the cotton wraps on her hands dark red. The barbed wire, Negan's weapon of choice for the fight, was still in her hand, chunks of skin and tissue hung from it like tinsel. The body on the ground was steadily growing a puddle of crimson. The liquid was weeping from the jagged wound splitting the man's throat in two. Tossing the gruesome metal wire to the side Valentine looked up to see Negan's malicious sneer and darkened eyes. The crowd was howling at the gruesome scene they just witnessed. Letting her eyes scan the crowd she took in the second story walkways, people clapping and others hanging over the railing while cheering. Other were collecting their winnings from the fights bets, cigarettes and booze the main objects traded. Valentines eyes dropped to the few people standing along the edges of the fighting circle, the clean up crew and guards tending the fight. She staggered a couple feet away from the body and finally listened to what Negan was shouting.

"Bru-fucking-tal Love. You're amazing!" He complimented and pointed Lucille at her, "He's gonna change if you're not careful Angel."

She looked down and sighed, her body sore and tired from the fight didn't want to put the effort into crushing his skull. Taking a deep breath she brought her boot down four heavy times the bone cracking under the pressure. The grey matter and blood shot out, spraying her boots and the already savage looking floor. Negan cackled louder, "Fucking fuck! That was goddamn beautiful. It's like a Jackson fucking Pollock painting down there."

Swallowing the urge to puke at the heinous act she just committed, Valentine heard Negan dismiss her.

She wandered through the hallways towards Doc's medical clinic. Negan had given her some freedom over the last few months despite having been punished for disobeying several times. Valentine now had her own room, which she earned by working the walls and she was allowed to visit the dining hall and showers by herself. Negan started taking her with on supply runs also. She was in his eyesight at all times but at least she was beyond the walls. Valentine's restrictions hadn't been lifted completely though. The only weapons she could have were ones provided in the fights or her machetes on scavenge runs. All Valentine could do was bid her time for some kind of escape or the opportunity to drive a sharp weapon into Negan's skull. Both options were still out of her grasp but she found herself calmly waiting for her moment. She had perfected her ability to be silent and numb.

Pain, loss, sadness, it was pushed away. The only emotion that helped her now was anger. It kept her alive. It kept her moving forward. It would save her. All of that Valentine was sure of, what she didn't know was what would be left of her after all was said and done. Who would she be and how far did she have to go?

Reaching Doc's office she looked down at her hands. She had no idea what kind of damage was below her wraps. It felt like she was mangled below them.

"Looks like you won." Doc spoke quietly his calculating eyes taking in her haggard appearance. Valentine shrugged and sat down, her self imposed silence still going strong. The doctor moved around the room and gathered supplies.

"You could take his offer." He muttered peeling the drenched cotton off to expose the deep nicks from the barbed wire. Valentine sneered in disgust at being offered a position as some kind of concubine. Doc cleared his throat awkwardly and nodded, "I don't blame you, just saying it'd be less... violent."

'I wouldn't bet on it,' she thought wryly.

After all was said and done she had five stitches in her eyebrow and ten in different spots on her hands. She had them wrapped for protection and was recommended to wear gloves over them for padding. In her room she found a pair of worn fingerless leather gloves. Shoving them in her pocket for later Valentine laid down to rest up for the scavenging run the next morning.

* * *

Valentine walked through the long hallway exploring the abandoned hotel. She was clearing the hallways as the others popped the electric locks with crowbars. It was the first time she was out of Negan's sight but she kept on task. She hoped that if she towed the line as a good little worker she would eventually find a way out.

Moving quietly one hand holding a flashlight and the other her machete, Valentine smelled a walker coming before she caught it in her spotlight. The one time bellboy reached for her with two broken arms and a gaping maw. The black ooze coming out its mouth dripped down its neck and chest. She pulled her arm back, swinging hard through its skull. A fountain of blood splashed the tacky floral wallpaper lining the hallways. Moving on she found a dozen undead sporadically through the corridors. When she reached the end she backtracked to double check for stranglers and finally met up with the room clearing crew. Negan was sauntering out of the latest room when he spotted Valentine approaching.

"It clear down there?" He asked pointing with Lucille down the dark cavern. Valentine dipped her chin as an affirmative and backed up as Maxwell shoved a crow bar into the next locked door. She took second point automatically and helped clear the room of walkers. Once done the group scavenging came in to collect supplies. The process was smooth and allowed for a quick clearing of danger and gathering of gear.

Valentine was waiting for the next room to be opened when Negan sided up next her and with a sly grin drawled, "Plenty of rooms to sneak away in Angel. You down for some hot hotel sex?"

Valentine's eyes slid to his and narrowed. Negan recent tactic was aggressively flirting with her. He enjoyed pushing her buttons and spent his time searching for a topic to get her to slip up and speak. The graphic requests for sexual favors were her weakest moments. She wanted to tell him to fuck off. The desire boiled up and nothing seemed like it could stop her from saying it until the door popped open and three walkers stumbled towards Maxwell.

"Fuck!" He gasped falling backwards with two sets of arms grabbing him. Valentine moved quickly, her blade taking out two before Maxwell hit the ground. She kicked the third in the chest, felling it backwards into the room. Walking over the heap of bodies in the doorway Valentine smashed the remaining biter's head in two with her sharp blade. After shining her flashlight around, Valentine slid the bathroom door open before leaving the room. Maxwell was bent over puking in the hallway, his hands gripping his gut. Valentine looked at him with a furrowed brow and then glanced at Negan who looked amused.

"Jesus Max pull your fucking shit together." Negan scoffed, "Valentine didn't even blink an eye. What in the holy hell is your problem?"

"Valentine isn't a real fucking person, she a goddamn cyborg." Maxwell exclaimed, a sneer curling his face. Valentine's eyes darkened and her nostrils flared. Her gaze flitted over him assessing what weapons he had. She cocked her head to the side and slid forward. Negan stepped in between the two.

"Stop right fucking there." Negan warned his tone telling Valentine he wasn't messing around. She kept her posture tense but stepped backwards giving him the submission he wanted. Negan's eyes sparkled at the sight and a crooked grin split his face.

"Well fuck me sideways with a chainsaw! She can listen and obey." He chortled, tugging on one of the loose curls hanging in her eyes. Her teeth bared and lips curled into a sneer. Laughing Negan turned toward Maxwell and boomed, "You ever talk about her like that again and I will SKULL FUCK YOU!"

Maxwell cowered against the wall as Negan's voice echoed down the hallway and the other men froze in place. Valentine's eyebrow rose at the sight and her eyes cut to Negan in confusion.

He looked back at her and smirked, his dark eyes filled with amusement. She felt her lip twitch as if approaching a smile. That thought alone was enough to make her mouth drop into a deep frown.

'You can't fucking be serious Val! Do not enjoy his presence. EVER.' She scolded inwardly while biting her cheek aggressively as if punishing herself.

"Back to work pussies! Valentine your with me." he ordered and started striding down the dark tunnel.

"Valentine! Fucking light now!" he barked his large gait moving him quickly into the pitch black.

She rolled her eyes and flipped her flashlight on jogging to his side. They moved further into the hallway, Negan directing her for lighting. They reached the end and Valentine pulled out a crowbar, popping the door open. The room was cleared and she moved to leave but Negan slammed the door shut in front of her.

"Hold up there Angel." He instructed turning towards her slowly. She felt her spine stiffen and jaw clench. Apprehension trickled down her spine but so did excitement. Part of her wanted him to try something, to give her a reason and an opening to try and kill him.

Negan stepped closer until he was within arms reach of Valentine. She could feel the heat from his body and the smell of his leather jacket. She bit her cheek praying to control her response. The urge to lash out was brewing and if she did Negan wouldn't stand for it. She was still healing from the last stroke of Lucille, she couldn't risk yet another punishment.

"I know you wanted to smile back there," Negan informed her, his voice quiet and cadence deep. Valentine's body was vibrating with tension and her stomach roiling. She was sick and not because of what he said but because it was true. He wasn't pushing buttons, he was stating truths.

"You can't deny it. I'm a funny fucking guy. I've seen you, seen the hint of dark humor in your eyes." He described playfully, a smirk curling his lips. "You're a sick fuck just like me."

Valentine's body shivered at the sound and the statement.

His voice rougher yet still controlled, "The violence, the blood. I can feel it, I know you can too. This fucking thing between us. We both crave the depravity."

She swallowed thickly and felt her head spinning, her pulse racing.

'That's not true Val... right?' she asked herself feeling disturbed by her own confusion. Blinking her eyes she looked away, her body tensing at the heady atmosphere.

Negan stepped closer, his large frame was towering over Valentine. His chest was almost touching hers and with every sharp breath Valentine took, the zipper on his leather jacket caught on the fabric of her tshirt. Negan's gloved fingertips traced a scar along her collarbone, the leather leaving goosebumps in its wake. She felt his fingers twitch as he stroked down the center of her chest, almost reaching her cleavage. Valentine's breath hitched and her head filled with blaring static. She stumbled backwards away from him, her machete raised and shaking. Negan put a calming hand up and took a step away from her.

"Easy." He ordered his mouth a firm line. Valentine stepped back and lowered her weapon but kept her wide eyes on the man. Her heart was clattering against her ribs and she felt nausea wash over her in a wave.

"Calm your tits. I wasn't going to do any-fucking-thing." He assured with a scowl, "I wouldn't force you to do shit."

Valentine wrung her machete's hilt and rolled her shoulders trying to relieve the tension between her shoulder blades.

"I was just pointing out the motherfucking elephant in the room." He chuckled before throwing the door open and stomping out, leaving Valentine standing there. She squeezed her eyes shut and she swallowed back a sob.

'Survive Val... Survive.'


	4. Chapter 4

Valentine was on her back while a redheaded woman straddled her with a knife poised above her chest. Growling fiercely she struggled to hold the knife away from her chest. The screams of the crowd and jeers from Negan faded away. All Valentine could hear was the thump of her heartbeat pounding in her skull. The buzz of adrenaline making her body vibrate. Arching her pelvis off the floor, she made the woman above loose her leverage. Taking her opening, she flung her body off the ground causing the other woman to roll onto her back. Valentine was holding both of the woman's wrists as the redhead held the knife upwards. She screamed as Valentine started digging her nails into her arms as hard as she could. Valentine felt the skin tearing and blood leaking out. The crowd was pounding their feet and screaming, "Kill Her!"

Valentine's hands slipped on the slick liquid causing her to lose her hold. Flinging herself backwards from the redhead she escaped the sharp edge of the blade. Bouncing on her feet she waited for the other woman to lunge. They circled each other as the metal of the knife glinted off the torches glow. Valentine jumped away from a swipe to her gut. She felt her heart kick up and her lungs seize. She was done with fighting and it was ending now.

Discreetly she unwound some of the cotton wraps on her fists. Valentine had a foot and a half loose when the woman charge again, both her hands gripping the kitchen knife out. Valentine stepped out of the way while wrapping her ties around her attackers fists. The woman kept her grip tight on the hilt and was trying to pull her arms away from Valentine. She yanked hard causing the woman to stumble forward leaving her back vulnerable.

From behind the woman, Valentine pulled both ends of the ties, the woman's arms bent back towards her. With the ties holding her fist closed tightly the redhead couldn't drop the blade and was helpless as Valentine pulled the sharp metal towards her neck. The crowd was screeching but all Valentine heard was the heartbeat thrumming in her skull.

She pulled hard and the knife plunged into the woman's neck, the blade tip coming out the back of her spine. A gurgling choke sprayed blood all over Valentines hands right before the redhead collapsed to her knees. Valentine dropped the ties but they were tangled with her hands.

Reaching down Valentine pulled the knife out and cut the ties away before plunging the blade into the woman head to prevent her turning. The sounds of the room began to return. A whoosh whoosh sound flooded her, then the trickle of shouts and jeers. Negan's of course the clearest of the all, "That's my fucking girl. Such a fuckin' sadistic bitch!"

Valentine's eyes were unfocused as she looked down at her blood covered arms. Her hands were shaking and felt alien to her. Someone touched her shoulder and she struck without looking. Her fist connected to the man's throat with a crunch. He fell to his knees gasping and turning red, his trachea collapsed in on itself. She stumbled back at the sight and then her eyes jumped up to the crowd. It was as if she had just teleported to the place. As if a lapse of time had happened and she just killed a random person.

Negan was laughing hysterically and pointing Lucille at her. "Fucking brutal Angel! God I love that about you!"

She looked at the man who just died at her feet. Valentine's perception was shifting. The floor wobbled and she stumbled to the right. A sharp pain hit her in the stomach and she lifted her shirt. A huge gash was pouring blood down her jeans. She touched it in a confused explorative state.

'How'd this happen?' she asked herself with a furrowed brow, her finger dipping into the flayed tissue.

Her head lolled back and she was looking at the vaulted ceilings. It spun and the torches shadows jumped around the walls. Soon she lay looking up at the dancing flickers of torchlight and then she was being dragged down a long hallway. The buzzing chatter happened around her but she felt her eyes needed a rest. They'd been open for so long. Way too long.

* * *

Valentine woke slowly, her eyes drooping under their immense weight.

"And she awakens," Doc quipped from somewhere in the room. She lifted her head with a grunt and looked around. Doc was perched on a stool writing down notes. Valentine looked down at her arms and hands. There were little nicks from either the redhead's nails or the knife. Valentine lifted the sheet and saw the large bandage on her abdomen.

"You were sliced open pretty good there. Nothing vital just an awfully long cut. 20 damn stitches Valentine." Doc exclaimed and added, "You'll use all my supplies if you keep surviving."

Valentine snorted and looked over at the man's teasing smirk. She laid her head back and shifted her sore body. Groaning out in pain Valentine froze at the shocking stabbing coming from her center.

"Don't move, you'll tear them." Doc exclaimed and rushed over in concern. He peeled the bandage up and then resealed it. "Its ok. Here's some water."

After sipping from the plastic cup Valentine lay back heavily. A knock on the door made Valentine freeze and slam her eyes shut. Doc snickered quietly and then opened the flimsy wood door.

"How's my girl?!" Negan shouted while stomping inside. Valentine made her breathing slow but deep. Her heart calming, as she took measured breathes and listened to the Negan chatter.

"Why's she still sleeping? It's been three fucking hours." He whined while giving the bed frame a kick. The jostling made her stomach clench and her whole body to flash with brilliant pain.

"Sir. Please she needs to rest. I will get you as soon as she's awake." Doc offered with a hopeful tone. Negan huffed out an irritated breath and grumbled, "Fine. Tell Craig to find me when she's awake." The door opened and then slammed shut bringing an eerie silence. Valentine peeked her eyes open and saw Doc smirking at her from his seat.

"Try sleeping some more." He ordered with a raised eyebrow as if waiting for her to argue. Sighing she sipped more water before collapsing against the stiff cotton pillow.

* * *

Negan took three men and Valentine on a run to a small town south of the Sanctuary. They were running low on water and from a distance the group had seen a water tower and a water filtration plant. Valentine sat in the large military truck's cab in between Negan and John while the others rode in back. She felt Negan staring at the side of her face and ground her teeth to keep from snapping at him. The man had started bringing her everywhere like some kind of house pet. All she needed was a damn collar and nametag.

"So Angel, how's the stomach wound?" Negan asked in a light tone. Valentine glanced at him and then returned her eyes to the road in front of them.

Negan continued to talk without her input, "Good to hear. I need you in top form on this trip. Dwight scouted it and we may have some people to take care of."

Valentine shivered at the mention of Dwight. The guy had been caught with Negan's wife Sherry who just happened to be Dwight's wife before the turn. She could only assume that they were split up in a similar fashion that Negan had tried with Paul and her. Both were protecting the other by doing the bat wielding maniac's bidding. Dwight killed whomever Negan pointed at and Sherry, well Sherry probably dealt with even worse depravity.

Apparently the two had been secretly seeing each other and were discovered a few nights ago. Valentine could still smell the burning flesh as Negan punished Dwight. The sadist pressed a red hot iron to the side of his lieutenant's face until the skin boiled and his eye bulged. Valentine hadn't seen him since but from what she had seen as they drug him out of the common room was atrocious. She was surprised the guy lived and can only assume it was thanks to the Doc.

They rolled into town towards the plant first, checking for a water tanker to transport it back to Sanctuary. The roads were littered with trash and dead bodies. Valentine started to feel uneasy at the lack of walking corpses. It meant the living were nearby or had been recently. She glanced at Negan who looked back calmly, both silently acknowledging the others observations. It felt wrong to cooperate with the madman but it would keep her alive outside the walls so she accepted the need for him. Even though Negan was a monster, Valentine could see how having him as back up could be beneficial. He knew how to survive.

John drove them through an open gate and they found themselves in the plant loading docks. There was one tanker as well as a few other facility vehicles. The group hopped out the truck bed and cab, moving quietly to the tankard. Negan motioned for them to stay low and keep an eye out. John climbed the truck to see if the tank was full and moments later popped his head over the side smiling.

"Its full," he exclaimed happily moving to climb down. Valentine heard the shot before John's head exploded, blood raining down on the group right before the body joined them.

"Fuck" Negan hissed before looking at Valentine, "Find the shooter."

Valentine lay on the ground, crawling under the truck to scan their surroundings. She could see the sniper hidden amongst the grass in a nearby vacant field. Signaling to Negan of the direction of the threat she watched him send the two remaining men to circle around the shooter. Valentine slid out and crouched by Negan as another shot was fired off, pinging the metal wheel well next to her. She looked at the spot blandly and then at Negan who grinned widely, "Fuckin' fearless bitch huh?"

Valentine rolled a shoulder and peeked her head out to see the other two skirting the edges of the clearing. Just as they approached a spot to fire at the sniper, a shot went off. She watched the guy name Devon fall instantly, a scream ripping from him as he landed.

"Fucking morons." Negan grunted and then snorted as the screams were cut off by the sound of walkers feeding. The second guy was firing off his gun bringing more dead to the area with each loud pop. Valentine sighed and watched the tree line pouring corpses. She ticked her head to the woods and saw Negan take in the approaching herd. They were pinned down and couldn't reach their truck without getting shot.

The sniper would have to move soon though, otherwise they'd risk being eaten. Negan kept his eyes trained on the spot waiting for the person to make a move. "Come on fucker. Run, bitch, run." He joked giving Valentine a cheeky grin. It was getting to be too late to run, the amount of dead flooding the area was going to make it impossible to retreat easily.

"There he goes," Negan stated as they watched a man with a large sniper rifle run from the grassy area towards their truck.

"Fuck no you don't." Negan grunted running from his spot towards the armed man. Valentine followed her blades out taking out biters as they got closer to the herd. She was slicing her way through a decomposing woman when she saw Negan swing Lucille through the man's skull. Blood sprayed across the pavement and onto Valentine's profile. She wrinkled her nose in disgust but followed Negan as they got to the truck. Negan hopped in and came face to face with another armed man. Valentine was still outside the truck fighting undead and getting slightly worried she was going to by biter chow. She glanced up at Negan who was focused on the guy in front of him as he pulled the hammer back on the revolver and drawled, "Back up and out and I won't kill you."

Valentine growled swinging her blade out to take down another rotting body. She was close to running off on her own if Negan didn't move his ass. She wasn't going to get eaten alive for him. The large man put a hand up as if pacifying the guy but struck out, knocking the gun away as it fired off before rushing forward. His large fists started landing hard onto the man's face and torso.

Valentine climbed up on the footstep to get into the cab but was blocked by Negan's huge form. A walker grabbed her leg as she fought with another. She growled kicking the dead man in the face while stabbing another. The sounds behind her were animalistic as Negan lost his shit throttling the guy. Valentine yelped as a walker bit down on her leather boot, the pressure making her heart race. Suddenly she was yanked backwards, Negan's thick arm pulling her into the cab. The biter was still attached to her leg, the rotting body being hauled up with her. Negan shouted a string of cursed words at the sight and began punching the dead man's skull in until it let go. Valentine was gasping as her leg felt like it was on fire.

The door slammed shut and Negan looked at her with wild eyes, his hands reaching for her leg. He yanked at her boot, unlacing the leather frantically while she lay there dumbly. She didn't want to see what was underneath the mangled leather.

Negan let out a dry laugh as the got her shoe and sock off. He leaned back on his heels, raking his hand through his hair and then pointed at her calf. "That asshole had some giant motherfucking chompers." He joked while poking the large bruise blooming on her calf. Valentine looked at it for a moment and then collapsed back letting out a puff off air that could pass as a laugh.

"Come on get your lazy ass out of the way, I gotta drive now that all our red shirts are dead." Negan joked clambering over her prone body. Valentine pushed herself up and started putting her boot back on. The truck turned over with a roar and they headed out of the swarming area. Negan took his time running over as many dead as possible, hooting as the bodies exploded on impact. The windshield was covered in thick black blood and body parts. The wipers were trying to work but it was futile with the gore being so slick.

"Fucking fuck. I can't see shit out these goddamn fuckers." Negan growled making Valentine roll her eyes and hold back a snarky retort. 'No shit Sherlock. That's what happens when you hit a herd on purpose.'

* * *

They holed up in a partially burned down factory. They'd been travelling for two days since being attacked at the water plant. The herd had made passage back to the Sanctuary impossible. Negan was close to intolerable now that he wasn't in control. The dead were holding them hostage and Valentine couldn't help but feel a sick sense of justice for it. She felt like a prisoner all day, everyday. It was nice to see Negan get a taste of his own medicine.

The night had been quiet as the two sat in a dirty warehouse manager's office. Neither had slept and the last food they ate was a day and a half ago. Their truck was also out of gasoline and in the morning they would need to find new transportation or a shit ton of gas for the large vehicle. Valentine felt hollow from the lack of food and knew if they didn't find anything by the next afternoon, she would start to get too exhausted to fight or travel by foot. She must have dozed off at some point because suddenly the office door crashed open loudly, two men coming in with guns raised. Negan tried to stand but the guy with a shotgun ordered, "Uh uh uh. On your knees big boy."

Valentine stood up slowly, her hands loose at her sides. The second man point his handgun at her and drawled, "Stay there sweet girl."

She wrinkled her nose at the sleazy tone and rolled her shoulder, loosening it up to fight. Negan laughed lowly as he watched her irritation with the men. He glanced at the two guys and stated, "You two inbred chucklefucks picked the wrong fucking people to jump."

"Oh yeah?" drawled the shot gun wielding slimball, his eyes glued to Valentine's tits. "Whys that?"

Negan rolled his eyes and kept quiet, apparently waiting for Valentine to do something. The man with the handgun started pacing, his gun waving around as he talked about what was going to happen.

"See we just needed us some supplies but now... Now we see ya got some pussy with ya." He rasped adding, "And Jessup here says to me, he says, Man I ain't seen me some pussy in weeks, So I says..."

Valentine tunes him out, her eyes following the man in front of her wave his handgun around, his grip lose and overly confident. The guy with the shotgun was too busy staring at her tits to pay much attention. Valentine cut her eyes to Negan hoping he knew she was about to turn shit around. With amused eyes he shrugged a shoulder. She almost laughed at his blasé attitude about her possibly getting them killed.

The man threw his head back laughing at some joke he told when Valentine yanked the gun out of his hand, turning it on them instantly. In a splint second she pulled the trigger on the guy with the shotgun, dropping him to the floor. She aimed it at the other man's head and watched as Negan climbed to his feet.

"Didn't fucking see that coming huh? Valentine here is not just a pretty face." Negan joked picking up the dead man's shotgun before reaching out to taking the gun in her hands. He was still weary of allowing Valentine to carry anything but her blades. She figured he knew she would gun him down if given the chance.

She watched him circle his prey, Lucille spinning as he rotated his wrist, warming up to swing. Valentine backed away slightly seeing Negan in control and grabbed her bag. She scavenged the men's stuff pulling together a giant duffle bag full of weapons and food. The man's screams echoed in the room but she blocked it out. Keeping her eyes away from what was probably a huge bloody mess Valentine waited for Negan to finish up. When he strolled towards Valentine she watched him wiping his face off with a bandana. His leather gloves were coated in crimson and Lucille was dripping on his shoulder.

"Find anything good?" He asked happily, the glow of violence still lighting up his eyes. Valentine gave him a dip of the chin and then ticked her head to the door.

"Alright alright. Quiet the fuck down. We'll go already." He teased with a toothy grin, his arm gesturing for her to go first. Valentine peered outside, her chocolate eyes scanning the surrounding neighborhood seeing it was just approaching dawn. There were a few dead moaning somewhere but nothing else seemed out of place. They headed out moving down the street towards the vehicle the men had arrived in. Negan had a bounce in his step that Valentine had noticed previously when he did something especially gruesome or cruel. Occasions like the punishments he doled out to her or the times he killed other survivors for supplies.

"You did good back there. Where'd you learn to disarm a man?" He asked conversationally. Valentine felt her chest burn at the question. Negan murdered the man that taught her self-defense. She had been married to a man in the military. Paul was an all American boy next door and army ranger, an all around great guy. He spent time teaching her so she would be safe while he was overseas.

Valentine's eyes slid to Negan's, the sharpness cutting him deep. She watched as he realized who it was and something flashed across his face, something remarkably like guilt but it was gone in seconds. Lazily rolling his shoulder Negan conceded, "Guess he wasn't that shit of a husband after all."

Valentine swallowed thickly as the words sliced down the center of her chest. The thick sternum bone feeling as if it were cracked open and pried apart. She looked away as her traitorous eyes prickled and burned. Valentine hated everything about the man next to her and everything about the world she lived in.

'Fuck it all.' She thought angrily.

The pair climbed into the pick up and headed out for Sanctuary. They'd been gone two days longer than planned and Valentine wondered what kind of chaos they would come back to. She secretly hoped someone grew big enough balls to overthrown the place.

Negan drove and occasionally Valentine felt his eyes drilling holes into her cheek. She was refusing to look at him or allow him to see her emotional state after the conversation about her husband. The ache was back with a vengeance and it took everything in her power to hold herself in check.

Negan broke the silence in the cab, "If I could go back... I wouldn't kill him." Valentine's eyes cut to his sharply, her mind reeling at the statement. He smiled crookedly and added, "If I'd know he was army I would've kept him for the muscle. Such a waste."

Her jaw snapped shut so hard she almost bit her tongue off. Hatred boiled in her chest and she seethed. The man was evil. There wasn't a heart inside his chest, there was an empty cavern. Nothing inside him was redeemable.

"Now now. I was just kidding. Can you image though, what kinda fights we could've had with both of you? Jesus that would've been fan-fucking-tastic."

The truck moved along the dirt road quickly, Negan apparently eager to get back. Soon they started seeing more biters and less road.

"Fucking fuckers." Negan growled as they saw the herd beyond them again. It had to be hundreds of dead men and women wandering the hills. He turned the wheel sharply, moving them back the way they came. They would need to backtrack or find shelter for yet another night. The detour had them curving around the area they needed to go and facing the backside of Sanctuary. The sun began to set and Negan whined, "Gonna need to hole up again goddamnit."

Valentine leaned forward her eyes scanning the passing woods. A flash of something silver had her point at an upcoming drive way. Negan slowed and turned the truck up the narrow tracks to a cabin. The overgrown foliage scraped along the paint and bumper mowed down the tall weeds between the worn dirt tire tracks. The tiny cabin came into view. The sturdy log cabin had shuttered windows and tiny picket fencing. The truck pulled to a stop and the pair climbed out to clear the home. Valentine stood still in the driveway and listened to the surrounding dark forest. The echoes of moaning and snarling walkers hit their ears now with the truck turned off.

"Damn biters." Negan grunted as they got the door open and the tiny building cleared.

* * *

Valentine and Negan were trapped inside the small log cabin as the herd passed by outside. She peeked out the tiny window in the bathroom as the corpses trampled past. Her mind struggling to think of an escape route for them. The herd could bust into the cabin at any moment but there didn't seem to be any options. She wished she was stuck with anyone other than Negan but there they were. Exiting the bathroom she found him lounging on the sofa as if they weren't in grave danger.

Seeing her, Negan grinned and stood up sauntering towards her. She shoved down the urge to back away from him and prayed her face showed no fear. He bent down, his mouth grazing Valentine's ear as he whispered, "Gonna have to be real fucking quiet until they pass. No way to get outta here."

She nodded and side stepped him moving into the kitchen to look through cabinets. Finding nothing of use she sighed and sat down. Her teeth grinding angrily.

'Fucking bullshit,' she thought to herself 'When am I going to catch a fucking break?"

Negan sat down next her, his leg touching hers as he crossed his arms and leaned his head against the wall. She kept her eyes forward and listened to him breath slowly, as if falling asleep. Valentine was unable to sit still, especially so close to the monster she hated. Standing up she paced a few times, her eyes constantly moving to the door. She peeked through the kitchen window and saw them still moving past. She wanted to scream and hit something. Turning around to pace some more she almost ran into Negan's broad chest. He grabbed her biceps and dipped his head to catch her eyes, "Calm your fucking tits. We're stuck here, sit down and shut up."

Negan smirked at the ironic statement and held back a laugh at her glare. "Seriously it could be worse. You could be stuck here with some asshole."

Valentine tried to yank her arms out of his grip but he held her still. She was moments from screaming at him when his grip loosened his fingertips trailing across her skin. Growling at him she watched his eyes darken. Yanking away from Negan, she got enough distance to try to shake off the creepy sensation. She wiped her arms down as if she had been touched by something revolting. Negan glared at her and walked close to her and pinned her against the wall whispering harshly, "Don't act like you don't like me touching you. I know you do."

She scowled at him and bit her tongue to keep from screaming.

Negan smirked and whispered, "You don't even have to talk, you're eyes do all the work. Like right now they're telling me to fuck off." He placed both his hands by her head, trapping her against the wall. "You wanna watch me 'fuck off'? I can show you how good I am with my hands."

Valentine growled, her hand resting on her machete blade. Negan was moments from getting a blade in his groin when he laughed quietly, backing away from her. "Maybe later huh?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow, flopping down heavily onto the sofa.


	5. Chapter 5

The blade swung out narrowly missing Valentine's abdomen. She jumped back her agile frame dodging every lunge and swipe of blade. The crowd was pounding their feet as the two fighters circled. Valentine focused on every step, every turn and every move she made. Her attacker lashed out again the blade passing by her face, the tip cutting open her cheek. Blood oozed from the wound and the crowd hollered loudly. Negan could be heard shouting out encouragement to Valentine. For a split second she thought about giving up, baring her neck and allowing herself to be taken but couldn't go through with it.

Moving quickly Valentine faked left and slid to his right as he turned, her arm hooking around his bicep and pulling the weapon back. The man stumbled at her grasp but righted himself easily. Valentine spun around his back, her hand unwrapping her hands as she moved. Taking one more step Valentine leapt onto his back her hand wrapping and tightening the long cottons straps around his neck. She ducked as he flung the blade backwards trying to stab her but quickly he dropped it in order to stop her from strangling him. Valentine clung to him while he shook his body trying to rid himself of her. Slamming her into a column the opponent finally loosened the ties and flung her body off into the center of the ring.

Rolling away her hand easily grabbed the machete while hopping to her feet. Grinning widely she watched the man search for the blade. Wiggling it in her hand Valentine started pacing and circling him, bouncing on the balls of her feet. It was at this point in all her fights where the crowd disappeared for Valentine and she became rabid. She sneered at him, her teeth gleaming by torchlight. Her arms rolling, muscles flexing and aching to drive her weapon home.

Her body kept encroaching on her target, the fighting ring become smaller as she struck. The blade arced outward and down, the tip slicing into the man's chest before retreating. She watched him hold his wound and try to evade her again but the next pass of her machete sliced through his neck. The blood shot out spraying her arms and the fighting floor. Another swipe of her weapon gutted the man, his innards spilling to the floor in one whooshing movement. Valentine spun back as he fell to the ground on top of his viscera.

Her body was thrumming with adrenaline and endorphins shooting into her heart, pumping throughout her body. She let her eyes scan the crowd, finally landing on Negan and his VIP box. The leader of Sanctuary was shouting out compliments and clapping a few other guys on the back. Her show had been satisfactory to him, which would make Valentine's life a little easier for a couple days. Her lively brown eyes skimmed the crowd and stuttered to a stop when she saw her son on the balcony. A sharp pain shot through Valentine's chest and she stumbled forward towards him. Her mouth dropped open slightly, her hand up as if reaching for him. She heard her name being called and turned toward the sound.

"Great fucking show Angel. Go get your face looked at." Negan ordered his calculating eyes looking her over. Valentine began to wonder how long she'd been staring at the spot in the balcony. Her eyes slide back to where her son had been standing in and he was no longer there.

'Oh yeah you're crazy Val.' She told herself before turning in her heel and retreating to the medical bay. Valentine wasn't exactly sure what injuries she had, the buzz was still roaring through her veins. Doc looked her up and down when she entered and pulled out the cleaning supplies for her cuts.

"Anything other than your face?" He asked as he laid out his tools. Valentine held out her arms and began looking them over but only saw scratch marks from the guy clawing at her arms. Doc raised an eyebrow and asked, "You don't know do you?"

Valentine shook her head and began untying her hand wraps to double check for injuries. The doctor circled around her to check the already scarred back and found bruises but nothing else.

"Ok I think that's it. Cheek needs stitches though." He informed before adding, "This is gonna sting."

* * *

Valentine was returning to her room when she came upon Negan and Dwight in a hallway. They stopped talking when she approached. She tried to walk past but Negan put an arm out to block her path.

"How the cheek?" He asked his head tilting to look at the stitches. "Shame he scarred up your pretty little face."

Her eyes narrowed and mouth became a tight line, the stitches pulling at the motion. Negan smirked at her irritation and reassured, "Now don't get your panties all twisted up, you're still fucking hot."

Sighing Valentine moved to walk past again but Negan stopped her with Lucille across her chest, "I'll still fuck you, you know. Offer's on the table. No need to worry about working for room or food. Plus you get fucked hard and good... By me of course. And let me tell you, I know how to lay pipe." He dipped his eyes to meet Valentine's, a cocky grin creasing his face.

Her mouth twisted into a sneer, pointy teeth glinting in the dim hallway lighting. Negan laughed at her reaction and stepped out of her way, motioning dramatically with Lucille, "After you Angel, sleep tight."

* * *

Valentine, Mark and Seth were scavenging the large big box store and a joining shopping strip. She was moving through the grocery area collecting anything left behind. Mark and Seth were finishing up at their end when Mark hollered, "Hey we're gonna head next door." He turned and they both walked away not waiting for her to protest. Rolling her eyes she kept working and decided to checkout the backroom.

Moving into the large darken cavern, Valentine started clearing the giant space. The shelves were looted but she saw a lot of gear Negan would want. She decided to tell him when they returned to the trucks to get help moving the items. Turning on her heel she went to leave through the double doors when something hard landed against the back of her head. She saw brilliant flashes of white light and pain splintering across her skull and down her spine.

As Valentine fell to her knees an arm wrapped around her neck and pulled her away from the swinging doors. She blacked out for a period of time and when awakened she was being held down across a table in what looked like an employee break room. She flailed back and found herself unable to move as weight was pressed down on her shoulders and lower back. Gradually Valentine became aware that her pants were lowered and a man was assaulting her. The ringing in her ears warped into a sharp buzz as her survival skills kicked in, struggling to move.

"Hold her I'm almost done." A man growled as pressure increased on her shoulders. She snarled angrily as she tried shake off her captors.

"That's it fuckkk." The man groaned his hands tightening on her waist. Valentine started snarling while kicking her legs out backward but her pants were at her knees hindering her ability to fight back.

They laugh at her attempts and two of them switch places for their turn. Valentine was panting hard as her mind reeled at the helplessness that was flooding her. She bit her lip as a choked sob tried to escape. A voice that had never given her comfort echoed out into the room, giving her hope.

"And what the fucking fuck do we have here?" Negan growled from the doorway. Valentine couldn't see him but it sounded as if he were across a small room. The men kept her held down but the man behind her backed up slightly and she heard the pump of a shotgun.

"Ain't your business asshole. Now back out and fuck off." One of the men snarled. Valentine tried to shake them off her shoulders, yanking upwards but they only pushed harder. Grunting in pain she kept pushing upwards despite the pain in her ribs.

"See that's where you're fucking wrong." Negan snarled his voice getting closer and then the sound of Lucille cracking someone's skull open. The weight was lifted off Valentine as she slid to the ground, dizzy from the fight. She looked up and saw Negan nail another man in the face. Teeth and blood hit the walls. The third was holding a machete, swinging out trying to keep from getting pummeled.

"Did you rape her?" Negan hissed his eyes feral, his teeth bared. The man swallowed nervously and he stammered, "Nah man I didn't wanna I just... they made me do it."

Valentine forced her incredibly sore arms to move and yanked her pants up before moving to her knees feeling a wave a nausea hit her.

She heard Negan slamming his bat into the man and the splatter of blood and gore. The thick smell of blood flooded the air and made her stomach lurch. She bent over further and emptied her stomach on the floor while her normal calm resolve broke. Tears streamed down her face as she wretched. The sick feeling of what just happened and the wetness between her thighs made her fracture. Gasping through a full blown panic attack Valentine jumped at a sudden hand on her back.

"Its just me. You're ok. Its ok." Negan was using a calming voice she had never heard. She still moved away from his hand and sniffed loudly, blood dripping from her nose and head. Taking a few deep breaths she sat back on her heels and used the front of her shirt to wipe her face down. It came away soaked with blood and tears. Her hands were shaking violently and her teeth began to chatter from the adrenaline bleeding from her.

Negan was crouched next to her, his face splattered with blood, his hand was outstretched as if wanting to comfort her. She shook her head and swallowed down the pain and fear, the shame and embarrassment and climbed to her wobbling legs.

"I can help you. You look shaky." Negan spoke, his voice strained. "Valentine. I... fucking shit I'm not good at this shit. I'm sorry."

Valentine's eyes rose to his and she saw an almost frustrated expression on his face. She swallowed hard and nodded before looking around for her weapons. The belt with her sleeves was lying on a chair. After replacing it on her hips she went to the men and scavenged their weapons and supplies. All the while she pulled on the blanket of numbness she used while getting hurt or when fighting. The only difference was Valentine lost the fight and nothing would ever change it. Negan stood by and watched her work as if knowing the time she was using, was to shut the human part of her brain down. After gathering everything of use she looked down at the men and back up at Negan.

They stared at each other for a long moment and she cleared her throat before speaking to him for the first time in almost a year, "Thank you."

Negan's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly. Nodding his head he turned around walking out of the room. Valentine followed him and as they passed the large shelves she pointed at the giant rack of batteries and battery rechargers. Negan stopped and looked at them and asked, "That why you were back here?"

She nodded and exited through the double doors. They got to the front of the store and met up with the rest of the group. Their eyes widened when she walked out covered in blood, her face more bruised than in the beginning of the day. She went straight to the truck, climbing into the front seat and sitting down. If she knew Negan at all, Mark and Seth were going to be beaten for leaving her alone.

Negan was screaming in their faces while pushing them violently. "So you leave her a-fucking-lone?! How fucking stupid are you!" he snarled his large hands shoving Seth to the ground while kicking him.

"We thought she could take care of herself!" Mark was saying while trying to block Negan's swings.

"Oh she can but not against three fucking guys my fucking size! Not when they fucking jump her in a goddamn pitch black warehouse!" Negan shouted, his fist breaking Mark's nose. "You fucking fuck. I should let her fucking gut you!"

She could feel the eyes of all the other men looking at her and then back at Negan brutally punching Mark in the face before turning his fury to Seth. Valentine knew everyone figured out she was assaulted and couldn't stand the idea of seeing pity in all of their eyes. She felt embarrassed at the fact she was weak enough to have been put in a situation where she had no control.

'You are dead. Nothing hurts. You can take this too Val. Nothing will break you. NOTHING' she growled inwardly, her eyes burning.

She felt herself fill with rage instead of hurt. The determination she got while fighting for her life. Glaring out the front of the window she prayed for an outlet for her anger or she was going to explode at the first irritation. The doors opened and Negan hopped in next to her, while Dwight got into the driver's seat. She sat in the middle but didn't acknowledge either man. Her jaw was set so tightly that she could swear she felt them crack. The anger was simmering under the surface and she feared if Negan prodded her like normal, she would ignite. Feeling Dwight's eyes on her, Valentine glared at him. She saw sympathy and pain, which did nothing to help her control. He looked away and started the large vehicle pulling away from the store.

Negan cleared his throat and asked, "Are you still nauseous and dizzy?"

Valentine ground her teeth trying to keep herself from screaming at him. She'd not spoken for so long it became natural and now that she slipped up it felt like a geyser waiting to explode. Nodding stiffly she kept her eyes forward and rolled her sore shoulders. She could feel deep bruising from their hands. The drive was quiet except for Negan telling Dwight roads to take when they came across congested routes. They had another stop to make and Valentine was hoping for a large swarm of biters. She wanted to slaughter something, destroy it and smash it until it turned to dust. They pulled into another parking lot and Negan ordered, "Stay here."

Valentine looked at him, her eyes narrowed and shook her head. Negan growled, "Stay fucking here that's an order. You get out of this fucking truck and I'll beat the fuck out of you. Got it?"

She growled back flexed her fists hoping he would understand her predicament. He looked at her balled hands and sighed, "What because I didn't let you gut those fuckers you need to kill something?" She kept her eyes locked with his and he grunted before giving in, "Fuckin' fine. Stay next to me at all times."

They got out of the truck and she saw everyone else look at her, watching for signs of her breaking. She glared at them and was close to baring her teeth until Negan snapped, "You gonna stand there and stare or are we fucking working you lazy fucks?"

The group dispersed and Valentine followed Negan toward a car dealership. They were clearing the place and then returning to fill gas cans. The pair found a few gnashers and Negan let her take care of them. She sliced off limbs and through abdomens making each kill last longer. Her rage burning bright and hot as she slaughtered anything in sight. She was breathing hard and fast when she slammed her machete into the last body. Watching it fall Valentine looked up and saw Negan sitting on top of a car watching the display.

"Feel better?" he asked in a bored tone. Valentine nodded and shoved her blade away before strolling into the dealership building. They searched it for supplies and then returned to siphon gas. Once done they loaded the truck and waited for the other guys to return. Valentine used the time to wet an extra tshirt and clean off her face. She still had blood from her nose and head wound as well as walker gore. Standing up to throw her bag back into the cab she saw Dwight approaching.

He stood a few feet away and he looked around before asking quietly, "Ya ok?" Valentine snorted and shook her head 'no', before climbing into the cab, shutting the door. She waited for everyone else to load up while watching Negan glared at nothing in particular. He glanced at the truck several times and then at Mark who was cradling his ribs while trying to load supplies. Seth was passed out in the truck bed from the beating. She couldn't find it in herself to feel bad. They did leave her vulnerable and if they hadn't left none of it would have happened.

Eventually Negan climbed in followed by Dwight. The motorcade pulled out and drove back toward the Sanctuary. Negan was quiet, his gloved hands tapping a random set of beats on the door armrest, as he seemed to be contemplating something.

"See Doc when you get in. And actually take tomorrow off. That's an order don't be a bitch and show up or you'll get another set of scars."

Valentine nodded numbly as the exhaustion began to set in. Her body had been through the ringer the last couple days and the emotional strain was just as bad. Negan shifted next to her trying to catch her eye and asked, "They didn't break you did they? Where's the fucking bitch that would glare at me for telling her what to do?"

She turned toward him and watched him witness the torrent of emotions just below the surface. Negan rubbed his jaw before admitting quietly, "I'd kill them a hundred times over if I could but that isn't fucking possible. So I know it sucks but don't let this shit fuck with you."

Valentine nodded and turned back to the front, blocking out the rest of the drive. She focused on breathing and staying awake. She ignored the pain between her legs and the soreness of her entire body. Nothing could change it, it was over and she was still alive. She was still surviving.


	6. Chapter 6

Valentine paced around the packed dirt arena circling her opponent. She could hear Negan up above screaming for her to kill the large Neanderthal snorting and growling at her like some kind of wild animal. His large hairy hands were lunging for her at every pass. Valentine was light though, spinning and ducking away from him easily while bouncing on the balls of her feet. Her wrists and hands were wrapped in strips of t-shirt for extra padding to keep her knuckles from busting open. They both had pocketknives as Negan's weapon of choice. He thought it was pretty amusing to see someone kill with the tiny Swiss army knife. She had the corkscrew opened and clenched in her fist, sticking out between her middle fingers just waiting for the opportunity to drive it home to somewhere sensitive.

The crowd jeered at the lull in entertainment but Valentine was waiting for her opening. The brute charged her, his shoulder down as he aimed for her stomach. Valentine stood there waiting, feeling the thundering footsteps vibrating toward her. Negan was screaming "Kill the motherfucker Angel."

Right as the impact of his broad shoulder would crush her, Valentine sidestepped, hooked her arm around his neck and hopped onto the large man's back. She brought her right hand down in a flurry of stabbing motions, the corkscrew tearing into his carotid artery over and over. Deep crimson blood sprayed all over her face and chest, coating the blonde spirals hanging in her dark eyes. The thick liquid shot across the dirty arena floor as the crowd cheered. Negan was hollering, "That's my girl! That's my fuckin' girl!"

Valentine's opponent fell, his face scraping along the dirt floor as she hung on. Rolling off him to her knees, she chucked the weapon onto the ground and wiped blood off her face with her wrapped wrists. Rising to her feet she stood in the center waiting for Negan's permission to leave.

Looking up at the VIP box Negan stood grinning with a few new faces standing next him. There were two men, a teen and a female. Valentine figured they were new arrivals getting the tour.

They looked disturbed at not only the scene but her. To be honest she disturbed herself. Her scarred face and body marred from countless fights to the death and clearing missions. Not to mention the numerous scars Negan left himself.

She was a monster now.

A killer. Inside and Out.

"Valentine, Love as always a pleasure watching you work. Brav- fucking- O! I thought he had you there for a second." Negan spoke with his sly grin. She kept her permanent scowl and ever-present glare in place. They may have bonded weeks ago when she was assaulted but he was still her family's murderer.

"Valentine, these folks here are new. How about you say 'Hi' to them."' Negan suggested with a pointy-toothed grin.

"Oh that's right, Valentine here doesn't talk, do you, Angel?" He teased looking over at the new faces. She listened to Negan grandstand, his arm swinging Lucille around as an intimidation tactic. He explained the rules of Sanctuary and spoke of he consequences of disobeying his orders or the rules.

"What keeps us alive?" Negan asked the large room. The Saviors and other residents shouted, "The rules keep us alive!"

"That's right. The rules are what makes everything work. No matter how small, or insignificant, the rules are to be followed. We fight to survive and those who can kill will do it in the rings just like Valentine here or out beyond the walls scavenging. But I gotta say none of you want to go against Valentine she's... Hey Craig what's she at now?"

"30. Sir." Craig answered flatly from his guard post at the door.

"30! Fucking hell Valentine that means you have slaughtered 30 fuckin' people. How's that make you feel Angel?" he asked with a coy grin, his obsidian eyes twinkling. Valentine glared back up at him and ground her teeth angrily. 'Like a fucking murderer.' She wanted to scream. 'Like a fucking monster just like you asshole!'

She kept her eyes fierce and felt her fists tightened even harder. The scabs broke open and she could feel blood dripping from her clenched hands. The mind games that Negan played were worse than the punishments he doled out. Valentine would take another dozen strokes if he would shut his fucking mouth for once.

The dead man began twitching on the ground, reanimating into a new kind of monster. Valentine picked up the pocketknife and rolled the guy onto his back. Kneeling on his chest as his arms began lunging upward, she griped his hair and plunged the corkscrew into his eyes socket. It took three violent thrusts to finally put the growling creature down.

"Good job Angel! I'll see you later, go clean that fat fucks blood off you." Negan dismissed her while laughing uproariously slapping Craig on the shoulder.

Valentine turned on her heel and exited the arena. She walked down the long hallway as people jumped out of her way and whispered as she passed. A lot of people feared her almost as much as Negan. They had all seen her fight and kill. They all saw what she was capable of and what she would do to save her life. They all seemed to think she was just another henchman of Negan's but she was just as trapped as they were. Even more so since she was constantly under his nose, constantly looked at.

After her shower she walked down to the dining hall and grabbed her ration for the day. As she walked in everyone stopped speaking and looked up at her. The new arrivals seemed shell-shocked and tension filled.

She could feel their eyes trail after her as she passed the table they sat at. Valentine kept her eyes narrowed and her lips in a tight line as she was handed her bowl of beans and rice.

"Boss says you get a double ration tonight for a good show." The large male handing out dinner. Valentine nodded and took the larger serving. She passed by a table of men who work the walls, one of them reached out to grab her ass. Valentine turned around her eyes on fire as she bared her teeth at the guy.

"Wohhoho easy there Missy. Just checking out the goods." He drawled with a leer, his eyes looking her up and down. The other men at the table looked terrified at what was about to happen. Most knew not to touch her not only because she could kill them but Negan felt he had some kind of ownership on her.

"Man don't." one of his friends begged grabbing his arm, "Valentine I'll apologize for my friend, he's not right in the head."

"Man I'm right in the head. Look at tha' ass!" he laughed his hand reaching out again. Valentine sat her food down before reaching out and twisting his thumb violently breaking it, causing him to scream out. She twisted his arm behind his back and slammed his face against the table, his food smashed into his eyes and splattered across the table. Valentine jammed her elbow into the back of his neck making him choke and sputter. His friends all stood up and backed away as did others in the room. It was like a shock wave hit and everyone was pushed away from her. Valentine was breathing hard, her chest heaving as she tried to reel in the rage filling her. If she were in the ring she would have plunged his fork into his eye or torn his throat out with her bare teeth but it was the dining hall. Negan wouldn't be pleased about blood spilled outside of the arena again. She could still feel the burn of that penance. Valentine hypothesized the only reason he would be upset was that he enjoyed gratuitous violence and would feel left out.

"And what the fuck do we have here?" Negan asked cheerfully as he sauntered into the dining room, Lucille propped on his leather clad shoulder.

"Well?" Negan grunted pointing Lucille at the crumpled man, "What the fucking fuck is going on!"

Valentine kept the man pressed into the table, his wet sounding breath spraying blood across the tabletop. Valentine realized she had broken his nose when she smashed his face.

"He grabbed her ass," a bystander supplied. Negan 'tsk'ed and strolled over to Valentine.

"You wanna kill him Valentine? Or I could kill him for you? Oh I could melt his fucking face off! I haven't done that in ages. Whaddya say Angel?" Negan asked as he made practices swings with his bat, people ducking out of the way from the barbwire wrapped blunt object. Valentine glanced over at him and slowly released the man's arm.

"So? What's your poison Valentine?" he drawled stepping in closer, making her skin crawl. "You gonna talk to me again? I liked hearing your voice." he whispered, tugging on a blonde curl hanging in her eyes. Her eyes drilled holes into his predatory gaze.

Valentine gritted her teeth and stepped back, picking up her food. Negan smirked and ticked his chin to the man who was rubbing his sore shoulder and wiping blood off his face. "This fat fuck dyin' today?"

Valentine glared at the man and shook her head once. Negan smiled and drawled, "I love when you communicate with me Valentine. Looks like you get to live pal. Now I want you to know if you touch a woman again without permission I will gut you and eat your fucking heart in front of you! GOT IT YOU FAT FUCKING FUCK?" He ended by screaming into the guy's face, his hand jabbing at his broken bloody nose.

The man nodded enthusiastically and stared at the table instead of making eye contact. Negan turned back to Valentine and crooned, "Are you ok Angel or do you need some consoling? You know where my room is right?"

She wrinkled her nose in disgust before walking out of the dining hall, her eyes skipping over the new faces. One in particular looked to be sizing her up. She watched his jaw clench and grind together.

'Great another fucker who wants to fight,' she thought wryly before wandering through the maze of corridors. Once inside her room she sat and ate her now cold food and looked out her tiny dirty window. All she could see was the burned up city around them and fences made with walkers, Negan's idea for extra security. Not much came near Sanctuary and nothing exited without his approval. Anyone who tried was eaten by walkers or shot by scouts.

* * *

Valentine was sitting in the front seat of the giant military truck with Negan and Dwight. In the back were the usual runners as well as two of the new men. The four were brought in after a crew of scouts came upon them. As with most residents they weren't given much option in the matter of coming to the Sanctuary. Negan saw useful strength in them and that was all that mattered. It helped that they were close, it meant Negan could exploit them against each other, especially the father and son.

Valentine was squeezed next to Negan, which made her cringe at every bump in the road. The jostling caused her arm to touch his and Negan of course knew how uncomfortable it made her. Every few moments he'd press his thigh against her and smirk at her. She sneered at the front window refusing to look at him or acknowledge his taunts.

"So Angel, what do you think of the newbies?" he asked as if she were going to answer. "Yeah I think we gotta keep an eye on them too. I mean they seem shady right?"

Negan continued to have a pretend conversation with Valentine, putting words in her mouth as if she spoke. "Yeah, Lucille agrees with you Valentine. I know you wanna fight the one though huh? The redneck with a bow and a bad attitude? I know, I know you like his arms and all. Of course Valentine I know you like mine more. I've seen you eyeing me up for a long fucking time."

She sat there letting him go on and on with an imaginary conversation. It was such a common of occurrence that she barely listened half the time. Valentine cut her eyes to his and saw the glimmer of amusement and lascivious grin. She rolled her eyes and looked back through the front window. Negan laughed and exclaimed, "I think that's the first time I've seen you not glare. An eye roll! That's fucking progress right Dwight?"

"Yes sir." He answered flatly.

"I agree Lucille. I think she's finally warming up to me too." Negan replied to his imaginary speaking baseball bat. They pulled into a parking lot of a mall, the huge building surrounded by walkers. Negan drove through a few dozen of them, the truck lurching and bumping over dead bodies, broken skulls and tangled limbs. He pulled up into a courtyard and hollered, "Everybody out!"

Valentine slid out through the driver's side door behind Negan and followed him to the gate. "Get the gate closed!" he shouted as men jumped down from the back of the truck.

Valentine watched the men roll the large iron gate closed as the biters slammed into them. The men proceeded to stab the undead through the bars and clear the area.

"Now everybody else we are goin' in. Don't die and bring me lots of good shit or you'll fucking die!" he shouted with a loud guffaw, his hand holding his stomach. Valentine moved into the mall, her large curved machetes out ready to kill. She strolled in without a fear in the world. Walkers didn't scare her. She had faced more lethal opponents in the rings and made it out fine. A bunch of stumbling dead guys were nothing to her.

Bringing her blades up she crossed them over, slicing a dead man's head in two. She moved quickly dodging and stabbing while slicing with her other hand. Valentine could hear others fighting through the dead but didn't look back. She moved forward killing and felling walkers as they came at her. Negan was nearby slamming his baseball bat into a head, splattering blood and gore across the floor and himself.

She could hear his uproarious laugh from across the walkway. Valentine glanced over and saw one of the new guys stabbing a biter completely unaware of the corpse coming up behind him. She sighed and swung her blade diagonally across its head just as it made a grab for the guys shoulder. He spun around and locked eyes with her before looking down at the dead body behind him. Giving her a nod of thanks he went back to fighting. Valentine worked her way through the walkway killing everything undead in sight. She saw Negan slamming his bat repeated into the body of a walker on the ground, his face speckled with its blood.

"Fuck! I love killing shit. Valentine is this what it feels like in the ring?" he asked loudly his face split into a huge grin. She just looked at him as he blindly pummeled the already dead body over and over while staring at her. The wet thump of Lucille hitting the raw meat of the corpse.

Valentine shook her head and walked away, heading into a clothing store. Clearing the room quickly she went about collecting the clothing that was requested. She had a mental list of sizes and types of clothing they needed. Catching movement out of the corner of her eye she saw the new man who she saved walking toward her. Narrowing her eyes Valentine looked him over to see if he was looking for a fight. His hip held a machete as well as a large revolver. He looked like a cowboy and she could guarantee he was a cop in the old world.

"Thanks for the help back there." He drawled looking at her closely. She only stared at him, her eyes taking in any movement of his hands, which were lying lazily on his narrow hips. "m' Rick Grimes."

Valentine nodded and went back to rifling through a bin of t-shirts, her hands pulling out sizes that were appropriate.

"Ya really don't talk do you." Rick spoke without expecting a response, as he shifted his feet slightly. Valentine growled lowly and turned her eyes into hot coals setting them on him. He took a nervous step back and raised his hands slightly, "I just wanted to thank ya s'all." Rick gave her another nod and then headed back to his own search. Valentine shook her head and shoved another armload into her duffle bag. She finished up her supply run goal and wandered back into the office of the store. Finding it empty and without anything of use. She headed to the walkway where everyone else was loitering in. Negan was leaning against the railing and whispering to Lucille.

"Valentine! Did you find anything good? Lucille was just getting worried about you." he hollered and added, "I told her you wouldn't run off but she's got it in her head that you don't like being with me. Tell her she's fucking wrong."

Valentine slid her blade away and stood there looking at the man blandly. Negan chuckled and shook his head, sauntering over standing too close to Valentine. She felt her teeth set on edge and her hand twitch above her blade hilt. The desire to pull a machete out and hack the fucker to pieces was so strong she had to swallow hard to press it down.

"She's just jealous, Angel. I know you don't wanna leave me." he drawled his mouth close to Valentine's ear. She could feel his hot breath on her neck. Her stomach lurched and she wanted to vomit all over him.

A few other men showed up with their hauls distracting Negan from his harassment. He stepped away and started chatting with another of his cronies while Valentine reeled in her hatred.

She glared at his black leather back, her hand resting on the machete hilt. Tightening her fist around it she calculated the risk of just burying it in the back of his head. She felt eyes on her and looked over to see the bowman eyeing her up. His focus was on her hands and then jumped to her face. It was silent conversation. An acknowledgment of two people in the same situation. Valentine could see the hatred reflected back in the man's eyes. They both seemed to realize the other wanted to kill Negan just as bad.

"Ok assholes let's roll out!" Negan commanded while strolling toward the exterior doors. Valentine walked with the group but stayed far away from them. Eyes were burning into her back as she walked.

At the truck she threw the bag at the guy loading the back and then hopped into the truck cab. Negan slid in and pressed his leg and shoulder against hers making Valentine cringe.

"You know I'd treat you right... you wouldn't have to fight anymore." Negan spoke matter-of-factly. "You could sit around all day, get fucked proper at night. I could make you cum so-fucking-many times."

Valentine had heard the speech before and never responded. She would rather die fighting than fuck the psychopath. No one was going to lay a hand on her like that again. Negan killed the one man she would let near her and no one would ever replace him.

Negan sighed loudly and dramatically, "Why won't you let yourself have some pleasure in life. Are you still mad about your husband and rugrat?"

Valentine kept her eyes forward until Negan flung an arm along the back of the seat, his large bicep resting against the back of her neck. She couldn't help the low predator like growl that unfurled out of her chest. Negan laughed and moved his arm to pull her into his side, his large hand squeezing her arm.

"Good God girl, I know you find me attractive. I know you want to fuck me, you just keep holding out for some dumb grief over a guy who was shit at taking care of you anyways. I mean he walked you into my gates and practically handed you over on a silver fucking platter. What'd he fucking expect? Or is it those fuckers a couple weeks ago? I mean I saved you and was nice about it." Negan asked while turning onto the familiar street leading to his camp.

She kept her eyes forward and her back stiff. His smell and warmth was making her stomach turn. Soon she would start heaving all over the truck cab if he didn't let her go. Negan laughed gruffly and removed his hand pushing her roughly away. Dwight took the brunt of her weight, his head bouncing off the window.

"Ugh Fuck off." He shouted loudly holding his head. Negan screamed, "Don't fucking talk to her like that!" Dwight swallowed thickly and nodded, "Sorry Sir."

"Apologize to her, not me you dimwitted fucktard."

"Sorry Valentine." His lieutenant muttered while looking down. Valentine kept her eyes ahead and prayed for the strength to stay in control of her anger. Everything about spending time with the psychopath made her on edge. It was so difficult to control herself around him.

The motorcade drove into the gates and were greeted by men to help unload the trucks. Valentine helped unload until Negan shouted her name, "Valentine. C'mere."

She handed the crate over to another person and headed over to Negan and Dwight.

"We're doin' a run to a junkyard tomorrow. It's fucking crawling with biters. You fit to kill everything in sight?" Negan asked with a raised eyebrow. Valentine dip of the chin as an affirmative.

"Good. Go rest up. We leave at dawn." Negan order and added as she walked away, "Oh and Valentine if you want to get your rocks off later I have some time between 8 and 9!"

She kept her eyes narrowed and walked into the building to rest up. As she walked up the stairs she saw the woman and young teen of Rick's group heading down. The woman with dreadlocks made eye contact with Valentine and showed no fear. Valentine saw herself reflected back at her. This woman had lost people and done things that others could not. She could see the hardness and strength in her eyes.

"My dad said you saved him on you run." The boy said, "I'm Carl this is Michonne." Michonne pulled Carl along and spoke quietly, "Keep movin' kid."

Valentine gave him a nod and headed upstairs. She didn't need friends. She didn't need allies. She need to get the fuck out of this house of horrors.


	7. Chapter 7

Negan was pacing in front of the group while pointing a bloodied Lucille at the scene before them. She could't help but stare at the blood and tissue dripping off the end. Her eyes drifted over to the new group of survivors. The guy with the crossbow, who she now knew was named Daryl, had a set of critical eyes.

Valentine could tell he was analyzing every person in the room, including her. Rick was focusing on Negan and every move he made. Michonne kept a bland expression but her eyes were just as open as the men's. She also kept the kid close and was in a defensive stance at all times. Valentine was happy they could tell they'd stumbled into the lair of a monster.

"We have a fucking problem." Negan hollered his hand waving over the two bludgeoned bodies at his feet. Valentine chewed her cheek waiting to find out what Liam and Franko did to get their heads bashed in before the day even started. Whatever it was Valentine was going to avoid doing it.

"Fuckwit and Chucklefuck here decided hiding supplies from runs was worth their shit stained lives." He announced his giant, size thirteen boot kicking Liam's smashed skull. Valentine frowned at the sight of blood splattering all over her shoes. Raising her eyes to Negan's she watched him smirk slowly and tease, "I get some on you Angel?"

Narrowing her eyes Valentine kept stock still and her jaw set. He sauntered over and wiped a drip of blood off her arm, her jaw popped from the tension. Giving her a toothy grin Negan offered, "If you wanna wash up I have hot water in my room."

Valentine glowered at him, her lips pulling into a sneer. Negan chuckled and moved away before shouting, "If you fucking steal from me, from the Sanctuary, you fucking die. I will gut the next motherfucker who tries to hide shit from me. I will skull fuck you!"

Valentines breathing was elevated at the interaction with Negan. Rolling her shoulders to relieve the tension her eyes cut to the new group again. Michonne was watching her with a calculating expression. Cocking an eyebrow for a second, Valentine turned back to Negan's pacing form.

Negan called out names for the work of the day and then stopped in front of Carl. "How old are you kid?" He asked while crouching to the teens eye level. Carl crossed his arms defensively and answered shortly, "13."

"Wohohoh! Check this fucking kid out. Little Billy Badass." Negan taunted while standing to his full height to tower over the kid. "You know how to kill shit?"

Carl nodded, his eyes cutting to his fathers before returning to Negan. Rick looked on with apprehension, apparently understanding where the conversation was going.

"Good we just had a position open up on scavenge, you're fucking hired." Negan replied before Rick could refuse, shouting, "Ok roll out!" He pulled himself up into the large truck cab and ordered, "Angel with me!"

Valentine clenched her jaw and huffed out an irritated breath. 'Fucking asshole,' she grumbled to herself while strolling over to the truck. Feeling eyes on her Valentine glanced over to find Daryl watching her climb into the cab.

'Why are they all staring at me?' She wondered inwardly, scrubbing her face self-consciously.

Perched stiffly next to Negan a sudden hand dropped on her knee made her jump. Valentine's hand automatically went to her knife and her lips twisted in irritation. He gave her a cheeky grin and raised his hand slowly, "Easy Angel. Just being friendly."

* * *

Valentine watched from the fence line as the rest of the group abandoned the young teen who was trying to fight off walkers. Mark and Conner held his father to keep him from helping. They kept saying it was too dangerous to go back in the overrun junkyard. Rick's screams were exciting the walkers pressing into the fence. Daryl was being pinned to the ground by Dwight, a heavy knee in between his shoulder blades and a bolt pressed to his head. Her gut turned as she pictured what her own son looked like when he died at Negan's hands. She wasn't sure why they were refusing to go back but she couldn't sit and watch another kid die.

Climbing the fence, Valentine launched over the undead clawing at the chainlink. Dodging through the grabbing arms, her feet moved through and around the biters. Negan's men were shouting at her not to go and ordering her to come back. Her mind was already ten steps ahead though, her route to the kid planned out. She struck down one after another undead, slicing and dicing heads of corpses as she sped through the junkyard. Jumping onto a car and hopping from hood to hood she scaled a dozen foot tall wall of rusted steel.

The kid was standing on a truck cab trying to kill the biters off with the hilt of his empty handgun. Valentine jumped to the ground and shoved a blade through two more dead men before she reached him.

"I twisted my ankle!" Carl shouted, "I can't run."

Valentine killed three more easily and yanked the kid down, pulling him onto her back. He coiled his arms and legs around her as she took off, running through the maze of rusted out heaps and grabbing dead hands. Kicking out the legs of two biters caused four others to fall down clearing a route. Valentine leapt over an axel of a truck and then spun around a tower of bald tires. Her heart was crashing against her ribs and her lungs were pulling in sharp gasps. Carl was much heavier than she thought but there was no stopping at that point. They had to get out of the maze soon before they were surrounded.

Running at full speed she found a quick path back to the others. Valentine stabbed one walker and pushed another before shoving the kid over the fence where his father caught him. She turned and killed two more biters, kicking one in the chest before she climbed over the fence hopping down to the broken concrete. Bending over at the waist gasping she heard a throat clear obnoxiously. Negan was standing there Lucille perched on his shoulder while he glared as she righted herself.

"Since when do you save people Valentine? You're usually more... murderery." He asked with an evil glint in his eye. "Wait I think I got it. How old was that scrawny lil shit that you brought in, you know the one that got in the way. Remember that guys?" He asked with a coy smirk, "That lil shit fucked up Angel's execution. Now I gotta say it was the best thing to ever happen because a motherfuckin' STAR was born after that! I mean if I hadn't killed that shithead of yours, you'd be fuckin' dead and I'd be bored as fuck!" He exclaimed with a bright grin.

Valentine felt acid in her throat. She wanted to puke all over the ground and spew it into Negan's eyes. Her chest ached like a horse kicked her, a steady throb crushing her. Keeping her body tense and her fists tight Valentine summoned all the strength she had left to keep from attacking the evil bastard. Her son's screams shattered through her skull like a broken record as the images of blood and gore flooded her watery eyes. Rick and Daryl were staring at her with something close to pity, which angered her even more. She kept her burning eyes trained on Negan instead of dealing with the sympathy of strangers.

Negan walked closer and asked Dwight, "Did you tell her it was too risky and order her to stay here?"

"Yes sir." Dwight replied hesitantly looking away from Valentine. She knew what was going to happen when she chose to act. Negan took any opportunity he could to try and break her. She disobeyed an order from one of his lieutenants, she'd pay for it now.

Negan clicked his tongue with disproval, "You know what that means Love? You gotta pick a hand."

He put both his hands behind his back and held Lucille out of sight in one of them. Valentine hated the game because it was a farce. Whichever hand she picked resulted in her getting Lucille raked across her body somewhere. It didn't matter. It was all a mindfuck with him. She glanced at Carl who looked at her with a small frown. His hair hanging in front of his eyes gave her heart a jolt. Valentine hadn't noticed how much he looked like her son. She hadn't truly looked at him since his arrival. They would be near the same age. The shaggy brown mop and striking blue eyes. They could be mistaken for brothers.

"Come on don't be shy... Pick one." Negan taunted, his eyes wide with amusement.

"Wait. I'll take the punishment. She saved my son she shouldn't.." Rick stepped forward passing his son to Daryl.

"SHUT UP!" Negan screamed his eyes flaring with rage and his teeth bared. The dead were pounding on the fence trying to get at them, they needed to leave before it came down. Valentine raised her right hand, which made Negan smile widely. "Such a good sport." Pulling his hand out and not so surprising his right hand held the barbwire wrapped baseball bat.

"Oh... Too bad Valentine. Now I get dealers choice. Head out!" He hollered pointing his weapon of choice in the air and moving toward the truck.

Valentine strode to the truck, her back straight and face steely. She could tell Rick wanted to talk to her but she wasn't going to listen. Saving his kid wasn't for him, it wasn't even for the kid because living in the shit hole of a world wasn't worth it. Valentine did it for her own dead boy. She failed him and part of her hoped saving Rick's son would make up for her failure as a mother. Hopping into the truck cab next to Negan she prepared for a long drive with the bastard taunting her.

* * *

The trucks pulled in and everyone poured out. Negan pointed at her and ordered, "To the common room. Wait for me."

She walked away from the group keeping her posture strong despite the trickle of fear running through her body. Valentine could feel eyes on her back and glanced over her shoulder as she opened the door to the compound. Daryl was watching her go, his hand gripping his crossbow strap, a scowl on his face. Their eyes locked for a split second before she entered the building. She walked into the common room and went to the spot Negan enjoyed displaying punishments. Setting down her pack Valentine stood in the spray painted circle, her arms crossed and steeling her nerves. No matter how many times she found herself in a situation where major pain was about to occur Valentine still felt the tremors. Adrenaline was flooding her veins, her heart pumped harder, faster. She took three calming breaths and set her jaw.

'It will be worth it in the end Val. You will gut him. You will do it for Paul and you will do it for Michael.' She thought while swallowing the lump in her throat. People started coming in to view Negan's punishment. She took three more deep breaths and shutdown everything human inside her. The animal in her took over. It could take the pain, it could take it and mold it into more armor.

Bigger, stronger, better.

Negan swaggered in, Lucille high on his shoulder as he gave her a cheshire grin, wide and bright. She kept her eyes forward, unfocused and without emotion. Her face stone, her body marble. Nothing inside, nothing outside. 'You are dead. Nothing can hurt you. You're dead,' she told herself over and over as Negan circled her.

"Ladies and gentlemen. What we have here is someone not following fucking orders. Right Love." He announced his hand waving Lucille toward her. She barely acknowledged his voice or gestures. Negan sauntered closer, the end of Lucille jabbing her in the center of her chest, blood spots flooded to the surface of her shirt. Valentine stood still and showed no reaction to the pain after the initial flitch. She saw Daryl and Rick standing off to the side watching with apprehension.

"So Lucille told me her demands and I gotta say I was delighted in her choice. I know, I know it may seem lackluster. We've seen you get stroked on the back but I don't think I can get tired of seeing my fan-fucking-tastic handy work on display." He explained with a grin, "I want the new arrivals to see what disobeying orders looks like. Take it off." Negan smiled and raised his eyebrows expectantly. Valentine yanked her shirt off leaving her in a bra and cargos causing catcalls and whistles. Her bare stomach and ribs were striped with scars, stab wounds from fights, bullet holes from runs and deep gashes from Lucille's strokes.

"Turn around, bra too." he ordered while taking practice swings with his bat. People jumped out of the way and looked worried.

As she turned around the rooms atmosphere turned from rowdy lust to an uncomfortable silence. Valentine unhooked the clasp dropping the bra to the side leaving her scarred back clear of any obstruction. A few gasps and throat clearing broke the awkward atmosphere. Valentine kept her shoulders straight at attention and her arms hanging loosely but her hands tightly balled. Her muscles rippled with tension as she prepared herself for pain.

"Isn't it fucking beautiful?" Negan grandstanded, his gloved finger stroked her spine, tracing the deepest of scars forming the gruesome set of wings. Her muscle twitched at the sensation but she kept still. It made her skin crawl. She wanted to scrub her body with bleach to rid herself of it. Rolling her shoulders, psyching herself up Valentine, swallowed hard.

"Angel. I'm going to add a little more motherfuckin' depth to you wings." He jeered while circling around to see her face. "Now don't look so fucking serious. You'll love it and it'll get me rock fucking hard for a week." The sadist adjusted his arousal from just talking about hurting her, his eyes drifting over her bare chest.

She kept her face calm and allowed numbness to settle over her like a warm blanket.

"Craig, Maxwell. Hold her arms." Negan ordered standing behind her with Lucille propped up high, the wire glinting off the lanterns. Craig and Maxwell each grabbed a bicep and held her still while Negan stepped in closer. Valentine felt the sharp barbs at the top of her shoulder, warm blood trickled down her back. Valentine breathed through the pain to keep herself conscious. A few gasps and growls escaped the witnesses but the loudest sound was Negan's moan.

"Fuckkkkkk, Angel. So goddamn hot." He groaned as he drug the sharp wire across her well-scarred skin and cut new grooves down her back. Valentine's body yanked away involuntarily but his guards held her strong. She ground her teeth, baring them as she snarled out in pain. Negan took his time dragging the weapon down her body. Blood streamed out of the wounds, rolling down and soaking the back of her pants. Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears as she took even deep breaths. The pain sparking through her body and adrenaline made her dizzy. She saw spots and brilliant flashes of light.

"Fuuuuuckinnnnng hell. Look at that people. She takes it like a fucking champ! Let go of her boys." His men dropped their grips making her stumble slightly without the support. Valentine caught herself though and forced her body erect, locking her wobbly knees. She was panting quickly through parted lips and felt her eyes burn but she didn't shed a tear. 'Don't cry,' she growled inwardly.

"Turn around. Let the folks see you dry eyes." Negan jeered. Valentine took another breath and steadied her body. Pulling her tshirt out of her pocket she covered her chest and turned around. She stumble slightly but kept herself upright. Her shoulders were tense, her arms flexed and fists balled.

Blood ran down her left arm, dripping from her knuckles. She let her eyes drift to Negan, her pupils blown out from the pain but bone dry.

"Look at that. She's a fucking animal, man! I'm tellin' you Craig look, not a fuckin' tear. Craig you cried like a little bitch when I stroked Lucille down your back." Negan exclaimed swinging his bat around, Valentines blood flinging off onto the crowd. Craig grumbled but didn't respond to the insult. Valentine ground her teeth together holding her body tense to keep from collapsing. "Go to Doc, Love. He'll fix ya right up and hey, DONT FUCKING DISOBEY ME AGAIN!" he screamed in her face while jamming his finger into the tiny wounds on her chest from earlier.

Valentine didn't acknowledge him except for a dip of her chin. It was enough to satisfy him and he stepped away to let her pass. She forced herself to put on her tshirt. Grunting at the shock of pain that burst across her spine as she tugged the cotton down. It clung to her skin soaking up the blood pouring down her back. She shoved her bra into her cargo pocket and walked out slowly. Holding her left arm close to prevent the pulling of skin, Valentine forced her legs to work.

Once in the hallway she placed a hand on the wall to keep herself grounded as she shuffled to the infirmary. Halfway down the hallway someone came up behind her taking her elbow. She flung herself away growling at the sensation of someone touching her. Daryl held up his hand and rasped, "Just gonna help ya."

Valentine glared at him before continuing on her own. Daryl stayed close as if waiting for her to fall but didn't touch her again. She stopped for a second as a wave of dizziness hit her but she growled through it, sneering her teeth. Taking a breath and blinking her eyes rapidly she started walking again only faster to get there before she passed out. At the door Daryl opened it to let her in and followed closely as she made her way to a cot. Doc rushed over with a frown and a sorrowful look in his eye.

"Come on Val take a seat." The gray haired man instructed allowing her to sit herself knowing she didn't want help or to be touched more than necessary. Once on the cot she looked at Daryl with a heated 'get the fuck away from me' glare making him narrow his eyes at her.

"You should go. We need privacy." Doc suggested while pulling a tray of instruments and medicine over. Daryl backed out of the room without a word and Valentine let out a slow breath. Her body started trembling from shock. Doc helped remove her shirt and got to work cleaning her wounds.

"I made sure he cleaned Lucille before he did this so we don't have to worry about biter infection." He remarked as the fires from hell scorched down her back in the form of rubbing alcohol. Valentine hissed through clenched teeth, her body flinging itself forward completely out of her control.

"Lay down on your stomach. I got some pain meds for you, pass out while I work."

Valentine shifted herself to lay flat and moaned out as the skin burned. She bit her lip to hold back the sob wanting to tear its way out. Doc placed a comforting hand on her healthy shoulder but she shook it away. She didn't need comfort, she needed revenge. Pain meds, sleep and revenge.

* * *

Valentine slept in the infirmary with Doc overlooking her vitals. Negan came in at one point but she pretended to sleep despite his remarkably loud antics. He was there to push her buttons and she wasn't playing along.

"She's got to rest a few days Sir or she risks infection and death." Doc told the man currently tapping Lucille on different surface in the room. Her wood body and wrapped wire still coated in Valentine's blood.

"Fine three days but she's gotta work off the housing and food debt. She is fucked up because she fucked up. I don't have time to coddle this bitch."

"I'll feed her and she can stay here til she's recovered." Doc offered. Valentine wanted to tell him to shut up but Negan did it for her.

"Fuck off Doc. No fucking handouts here." He snarled which had Doc sputtering nervously, "Of c-course. I ap-pologize." Negan chuckled and strolled out whistling a nameless tune. Valentine felt all her muscles release from being so tense. She heard Doc taking deep breaths and fumbling items around as he shook off his nerves from the interaction.

The infirmary door opened again and she heard someone speaking low to Doc. She realized it was Rick asking if she was awake. Valentine groaned inwardly and wanted to scream at them all to fuck off. All she needed was drugs, rest and revenge. She didn't want pity. She didn't want gratitude for saving his boy.

She wanted blood. Negan's blood. She wanted to coat her whole body in it and wear it like a badge of honor.

"Val, Rick's here to see how you're doin'" Doc spoke quietly crouching to see her eyes. She glared at him with thin tight lips. He raised an eyebrow before sighing. "She's hurting, maybe you can come back another time?"

"It'll just be a minute Valentine." Rick rasped moving closer to the cot and sitting down across from her. The sheet over her body was up to her shoulder, covering her chin and mouth. Rick could see her nose and eyes under a mop of dirty blonde hair.

"I have to thank you for saving my boy... I," he choked back a sob and cleared his throat, "I am so sorry about what he did to punish you. I... can never repay you but anything you need..."

Valentine only stared back at the man. She didn't hate him but she didn't know him. Trusting no one was the safest and best route in the new world. Rick nodded and scrubbed his face roughly before repeating solemnly, "Anything ya need."

She saw him look at her long and hard as if communicating something important. A flash of recognition hit her. He wanted out and he wanted to work together to do it.

'That would help Val.' She thought to herself but then added pessimistically, 'Yeah help until they turn you over to Negan or fuck you some other way. No deal.'

Rick nodded and then thanked the Doc for his time before strolling out of the infirmary. Doc looked at her and whispered, "Sometimes you gotta trust others for help to get what you want the most." Valentine only response was a narrowing of eyes before she rolled her head the opposite way. Closing her eyes she let the pain meds do their magic and passed out.

 


	8. Chapter 8

_Paul and Valentine were jogging side by side on the path running behind their wooded property. They were training for a marathon benefiting fallen soldier's families. Every year they helped raise money for men and women Paul worked with, friends that had died in service for their country._

_"Your ankle ok baby?" Paul asked as they took a turn, the trail slowly inclining up the mountain. Valentine nodded with a smile but she could tell it looked more like a grimace. Paul frowned and slowed his pace eventually stopping to check on her. Valentine sat down while he looked it over, his large hands removing her shoe and sock. She smiled at how gentle he was probing the swollen ankle. The joint had been aching since she partially rolled it at the beginning of their jog._

_"You probably shouldn't do this run Val. You're just going to make it worse." Paul warned as he pulled out an ace bandage from his camelback. Smirking at his boyscout preparation habits Valentine tried to assure him, "I'll be fine. It's just a little sprain."_

_When she grunted in pain as he wrapped the band Paul declared,"We're going back and I'm carrying you."_

_Valentine shook her head stubbornly, "No. I'm not some delicate fucking flower Paul."_

_"No shit sweetheart. I wouldn't put up with some big wuss but I'd like you to be able to walk after this run."_

_Snorting Valentine assured him, "No pain, no gain, right?"_

_Rolling his eyes he muttered, "When I said that I hadn't meant you running on a broken ankle dear."_

_Paul let the argument fall knowing it was a lost cause and instead quickly braced her ankle, replacing her shoe. He lowered it to the floor and then gently pulled her face to his, kissing her slowly. Moaning as her husband's tongue slid along hers Valentine gasped, "Thanks for taking care of me sweetheart."_

_"Just don't push it ok. Needing help doesn't make you weak. What's the point of having a shoulder to lean on if you don't use it?" He teased with a tiny smile, his adorable dimple making an appearance. Valentine laughed quietly and cupped Paul's smooth cheek, "I promise I'll ask you for help if I need it."_

_"Good. You know all I want is to keep you and Mikey safe. All you gotta do is let me."_

* * *

It felt as if she had been clawed by Satan himself. Sharp pointed pains jolted her awake the next morning. Peeling her dry eyes open she found Doc helping some guy with a broken nose. He had thick clots oozing down his chin onto his chest. When he saw her eyes open he peered at her over Doc's hands.

"Hey Doll." He mumbled, "Ya wanna get well together?"

"Don't talk to her, Negan won't be pleased." Doc warned, his chin dipping to look at the man's broken cartilage.

The guy snort, spraying blood all over Doc and scoffed, "She ain't a wife. She's fair game."

The doctor grumble while he wiped his face off and informed the idiot, "Negan thinks otherwise. Stay away or you'll end up with more than a broken nose."

The guy quieted down which allowed Valentine to relax some. She needed to use the bathroom and was thirstier than a catfish in the desert. Pushing her torso up, facing away from the pervy guy, she groaned slightly as the skin pulled against sutures.

"Valentine lay down. I'll be done in a minute to help." Doc exclaimed, obviously worried about her hurting herself again. Valentine waved a dismissive hand over her shoulder and grabbed the clean shirt laid out for her. Wincing as she pulled her arms through she buttoned it up quickly and then pushed herself to her feet. The earth tilted for a moment as dizziness swayed Valentine's body before she got control. Walking into the tiny bathroom she used the facilities and then came back to her bed. Doc had finished with the other patient and handed her a bottle of water and bowl of oatmeal.

"You need to rest for the next couple days." Doc instructed while taking inventory of the medical supplies cabinet. Valentine shrugged, wincing at the movement and shook her head. He sighed, "They won't heal if you break them open."

She shrugged again grinding her teeth at the pull but stood up anyways. Doc grabbed her ration of antibiotics and pain pills, placing them in her open palm. "Try to take it easy and come back after the run for me to change the bandages, no arguments." Valentine smirked at him, which made him chuckle, "Yeah, yeah just because you don't talked doesn't mean you don't argue with me."

She nodded once before moving to the hallway door. The wounds were going to hurt all day and Valentine would definitely be paying for it later but it was better than losing her rations. Without working, she had no place to sleep or food to eat. The rules kept people from being lazy. She'd lose her room and be without food within two days of no work duties. There were no real sick days in the Sanctuary.

Valentine stopped at her room and downed a pain pill. She changed into a tight tank top to hold her wound better while covering any blood leakage. Several layers of clothing were a good defense against walker gore touching her wound. Adding a long sleeved shirt over the tank top she grabbed her pack and walked to the common room. The runs for the day were going to be announced and distributed in the next ten minutes so she hurried her steps despite the pain. When Valentine entered the room everyone looked over, their eyes looking for cracks. As always, her belt carried her machete blades and a serrated hunting knife was strapped to her thigh. She wore danger like a mask, appearances being even more important in the new world than in the old. Perceived weakness was certain death.

Valentine walked steadily and stood by the wall, refusing to sit down and look fragile. Truthfully it was harder to sit down and get up, she'd rather stand and suffer through it.

Rick and Daryl were there speaking in low voices, their eyes occasionally cutting to her. Soon Negan strolled in, Lucille resting on his broad shoulder, his gloved hands stroking her affectionately.

"Love! I knew Doc was full of shit. Three fucking' days off? Not my girl. I knew you'd be A-O-fucking-kay." He bragged with a grin, walking confidently toward her. She prepared for the some kind of torment.

Negan threw an arm around Valentine's shoulders, squeezing her into his side. The pain sparked across her body making her knees almost buckle. Gritting her teeth she sneered at him, her eyes turning to hot coals. He snickered and whispered, "Glad you're feeling better. Gotta say I came So. Fucking. Hard. last night thinking about you."

Valentine focused on the pain prickling down her spine and the feeling of blood seeping through her bandage. She huffed out a breath like an enraged bull seeing red. He smirked and wandered away before announcing the groups and destinations. Valentine flexed her fists repeatedly trying to control the shudders from running through her bloodied body. She let out a slow breath before following Negan's group to the large truck and went to hop into her usual seat in the cab.

"Valentine in the back. I don't want blood on my interior." He hollered with a sly grin. She sighed knowing he was doing it because it would be more painful and uncomfortable for her in the back. Negan didn't give shit about blood on anything. He loved the evidence of violence.

Moving to the back of the truck she took a quick breath before pulling herself up with a grunt. Her stitches yanked at the tender skin. A tremor ran through her body causing her to grip the trucks frame. The shaking settled down once she sat against the truck bed wall, pressing her back flat against the cool metal to quell the throb and stem the bleeding. Everyone else loaded up, Rick and Daryl sat across from her while a few others took the opposite side.

"You should be resting," Rick commented in a disapproving tone looking at Valentine's stoic but pain riddled face.

Since she obviously wasn't going to respond, another man in the truck informed Rick, "If you take a day off you lose your rations. If you aren't working, you aren't eating or sleeping in a bed." Rick's eyes darkened and he glanced at Negan in the front seat. Valentine kept her face blank and her body tight, as every bump caused brilliant pain to flash across the surface of her inflamed skin. A cold sweat broke out across her forehead and chest. She was pale and drawn. Looking into the window to the cab she saw Negan smirk at her as he purposefully hit a large pothole. Valentine groaned loudly as she slammed a balled fist against the truck wall next to her. She wasn't sure if it was out of anger or a desperate attempt at distracting from her back. Negan threw his head back and laughed loud enough to be heard over the blasting music. She rolled her shoulder trying to relieve some of the pull but it only worsened.

'Fuck maybe I should've rested a day,' she though angrily, cursing her stubborn streak.

All she could hope for was a clear supply run area and the strength to not pass out. Valentine could already feel blood soaking through her tank top. The drive wasn't as long as the day before but long enough to make Valentine regret ever coming. Negan continually hit walkers and potholes knowing ever jostle caused the woman immense pain. Daryl's eyes were dark as he watched her struggled with the tentative grasp of control she had. Rick looked tortured, as if every shockwave of pain across her face, hurt him also. The motorcade pulled into the mall's parking lot again. They had yet to cover all the stores and this visit would focus on the large Sears.

Valentine hopped out grinding her teeth through the groan wanting to escape. She stood nearby as Negan directed everyone. He ticked his chin gesturing her to come with him. As they walked he was a few steps behind her and saw the state of her now blood soaked back.

"If I get bit because your dumb fucking ass is bleeding all over I'm gonna fucking beat you to death." He sneered poking her in the back with the end of Lucille. Valentine grunted in pain but kept walking. Negan narrowed his eyes and spoke to his bat, "You see that Lucille. She's bleeding for you again. I know."

He adjusted his dick at the sight and informed Valentine, "Lucille is pretty hot for you Love. You always look sexy covered in blood."

She kept walking and once at the doorway pulled out both her machetes. Wishing it were easy to just cut Negan's head off. She knew though, not only would it be difficult because he was actually a skilled fighter but his lieutenants wouldn't let her just walk away after. They'd have orders for revenge and then take over doing exactly what he'd done. If not worse things. At least Negan was against sexual violence.

They began clearing the large store and of course Negan was correct, the dead were drawn to Valentine because of her wounds. She had to fight twice as many dead as the others and the pain was so brilliant she began to hallucinate. At one point she saw her husband, Paul, standing a few feet away. Approaching him as if he were not dead and gone. It wasn't until an arrow went through his head that she realized she was strolling towards a biter with no caution or fear. Daryl stepped in front of her and snapped, "Watcha doin? Tryin' t'get bit?"

Valentine looked down and saw it was a rotting corpse, not her husband and shook her fuzzy head. She looked up blinking her clouded eyes and saw Daryl realize just how far gone she was.

"Ya seein' things?" He rasped quietly and when she didn't respond he explained,"It's the adrenaline n' blood loss. Stick near me. Don't do nothin' stupid."

Valentine gave him a lazy head bob and followed his path through the store on weak legs. He took the lead and cleared the rest of the sporting goods department for them. Once done clearing everyone got to work collecting supplies. The large duffle bag she had was too bulky to carry with her injury, so she drug it behind her after filling it up. Rick was passing with his bag and went to carry it for her but she grabbed his wrist tightly, shaking her head until he let go. Valentine drug it until she was almost in eyesight of Negan and then took a few steadying breaths, hiking it onto her good shoulder. Her teeth felt like they would be crushed under the pressure as she grit them through the agony. Rick watched her struggle but seemed to realize there was a reason for her refusal of help.

"Valentine good to see you're still pulling your fuckin' weight. I'd hate to punish you two days in a row... Well that's a fat fucking lie I'd love to see you fucking bleed more." Negan spoke while watching her pass with the large bag. Outside by the truck she set the bag down, bracing her hand on the truck bed for a moment as black spots appeared in her vision. Rick stood by and asked, "If I carried it out he'd punish you?"

Valentine nodded once and shook her head trying to clear her vision. Looking back at the storefront Valentine saw Negan watching, his bat resting on his shoulder with his head cocked to the side. Growing lowly, she grabbed the bag chucking it over the side while grinding her teeth again. The pain took her breath away but she forced herself to stay conscious. She held the tailgate of the truck as her stomach lurched from the pain. Bracing one hand on the fender Valentine bent at the waist and heaved her meager stomach contents onto the ground. Rick was standing nearby but thankfully didn't move to comfort or help her.

After she was sure her body was done Valentine wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and steeled herself to climb in. It took a full minute before she forced herself to do it.

Once inside Valentine sat down heavily, her breathing coming out in pants as she rubbed her eyes. She blinked them rapidly trying to clear her spotty vision. The others were chatting as they waited for the motorcade to roll out.

"Ya ok?" Rick asked quietly from across the truck bed. She glanced up at his blurry shape, her head swimming with vertigo. Without responding Valentine looked out the tailgate to see a large group of dead things coming toward them. The drivers noticed and loaded up, rolling out of the parking lot to head back. She allowed the numbness to roll over her, the animal in her taking over to survive the rough ride back. Negan seemingly bored with torturing her made the drive more comfortable than the first. She laid her head against the truck wall and closed her eyes. Soon they pulled into the complex and Valentine let out a relieved breath.

* * *

After the truck was unloaded and catalogued Valentine visited Doc. He scolded her while cleaning and restitching a few cuts before giving her the ration of medicines. She made her way to the dining room not bothering with a change of clothing and went to grab her food. Whispers about her blood soaked back started as she stood in line. The feeling of burning eyes on her back and neck caused her to look at the room out of the corner of her eye. Rick's group were all speaking, glancing at her. She saw Carl staring openly at her back and watched a wave of guilt wash over him. Sighing she looked back at the kitchen crew as people moved on.

"Boss said no rations for you today." The food server spoke blandly as she got to the front of the line. Valentine glowered at the man, a sneer sliding onto her face but turned away to walk out.

'God he was such an asshole,' she thought angrily.

She passed Rick's table, an arm shooting out grabbed her wrist. Valentine yanked it away pulling a knife out causing Rick to raise his hands, "Ain't tryin nothin. We can share with ya."

Valentine glared at them for a moment before stomping out of the room. She wasn't taking handouts because Negan would surely hear and make her life even more difficult not to mention punish them for offering. Once in her room she found her stash of food eating a can of tuna and some dried apricots. Drinking a bottle of water and taking an extra pain pill she laid down carefully after changing her shirt.

She was sleeping hard when a knock on her door jolted her out of bed. Rubbing her eyes she got up to answer it finding Rick's son standing in the doorway. Raising an eyebrow at the kid, Carl looked around nervously before pushing past her. Valentine furrowed her brow and followed him inside, shutting the door.

She watched the kid in his over sized hat, the swath of hair hanging in his blue eyes. He was lanky and awkward like Michael but seemed more adult than child. If her son had still been alive he would probably carry the same air of lost childhood.

"I'm sorry you got hurt for saving me." He rushed out, "I... Fuck I'm just sorry."

Valentine felt her lips twitch at the kid cussing and just gave him a shrug. Carl smirked and spoke confidently, "I know you can talk but I understand why you don't. If you wanna talk to me you can, I won't tell anyone."

Valentine felt a crack form in her hard armor. She'd love to talk to someone but it was a weakness she couldn't afford.

But maybe... Maybe...

No, no that would be too pleasing and she didn't deserve pleasing. She deserved pain. Besides it would most likely crumble everything she'd been working towards anyways. No talking to no one. No weakness.

He nodded and shrugged slightly, "Just sayin' if you wanna. Anyways thanks for saving me and sorry about that asshole hurting you."

Valentine nodded again ticked her head to the door telling him to leave. She peeked out into the hallway and motioned for Carl to go when it was clear. After closing the door she leaned against the cheap wood and sighed.

'Fuck. Damn kid even talks like Michael.' She thought angrily. The kid's foul mouth always got him in trouble at school. She never believed cussing was that big of a deal but tried to keep him from doing it in mixed company. Laying down again Valentine passed out for the rest of the day.

* * *

Valentine spent the next few days working patrols to rest her injuries. She didn't earn more than mystery canned food and water that way but she had to otherwise Doc would tie her up somewhere to keep her from damaging the work he did.

Taking the midnight to eight shift let her patrol in peace without prying eyes. She could relax her posture and let her walls slip slightly. Not that she was ever not on guard but those midnight shifts gave her life a little bit of much needed serenity.

Stepping through the shadows she watched for movement beyond the fences or within the yards. As she passed an alcove a hand reached out and yanked her into the shadows. Valentine reached for her blade but a low rasp stopped her, "It's me, Daryl."

She froze her heart racing as she growled at him.

"I'll let go jus' don' leave. We gotta talk." He rasped quietly. She could feel his breath and smell cigarette smoke. The closeness wasn't pleasant but it wasn't near as unnerving as with Negan. She nodded despite barely being able to make each other out. He dropped his hand and stepped back, still within reach but not in her personal space.

She stared at his dark shape for a long moment wondering why on earth he thought she would talk to him. Daryl grunted as if realizing it and explained, "Look I know ya wanna get outta 'ere. We do to. It seems t' me ya gotta have a plan cookin'. Let me and mine in on it and we'll help ya pull it off."

Valentine swallowed thickly and looked away. It wasn't as if she had a real plan to escape. Negan was just starting to let her out of his sight but she'd been contemplating the very thing since she met them. Ever since Rick said he would help her with 'anything'. Their little group had a strong bond with each other. So strong that she knew Negan would be itching to use it or break it. Break them. That bond would make them stick together and they would either escape or die, just like Paul, just like Michael. They'd live together or die together. Valentine couldn't let Carl end up manipulated by Negan. The kid looked too much like Michael. Sounded too much like him. She couldn't allow him to die like him too. If they were trustworthy, killing Negan and successfully escaping from Sanctuary might be possible. She could finally avenge her husband and son's death. Not to mention be free of Sanctuary.

"I ain't sure where to go from 'ere if ya don't talk t'me." Daryl drawled his narrowed eyes cutting around the yard. "If ya wanna think 'bout it 'n let us know... Can ya gimme a signal ya understand and tha' ya t'least know what I'm talkin' bout?"

She chewed her cheek and gave him a stiff nod while screaming not to on the inside. He bobbed his head, while chewing on his thumb. "A'right. Be seein' ya. Oh and uh... If ya got an ace bandage you can wrap your ribs, helps with the pain of them cuts. Help 'em heal."

She watched him walk away after a dip of his chin as farewell, his leather vest stretched across his broad shoulders. Embroidered wings brightened by the night sky's half moon. Raising an eyebrow as she felt a strange feeling wash over her. She trusted him for some insane reason. It had been almost a year since she had trust in someone. It felt relieving yet overwhelmingly frightening.

Once her patrol was over Valentine went back to her room. With a sore body she sat down on her bed, digging through her backpack. She found two rolls of ace bandages she used when she broke a rib in a fight. She stripped down and checked the gauze bandage in the tiny mirror. It wasn't soaked through so she left it. Wrapping the stretchy bandage around her ribs she felt relief almost instantly. The wounds still ached and throbbed but the bandage held the sides together taking the strain off the stitches. The burning and sting was almost gone. Sighing loudly she closed her eyes at the ease of pain, hanging her head in exhaustion. A knocked startled her awake making Valentine aware of her dozing while sitting up. She carefully pulled a shirt on and answered the door.

"Hey Love. May I come inside... you?" He teased, giving her a toothy grin. She narrowed her eyes as he pushed the door open and strolled into her room, Lucille tucked under his arm. He laid the bat gently on the ratty armchair and plopped down on her bed, stretching his large frame out on the tiny full sized mattress.

"Cozy." He smirked while crossing his thick arms behind his head. "Soooo how's it going?"

Valentine stood there her arms crossed and brow furrowed. It wasn't the first time he'd invited himself in but it had been awhile. Her fear spiked with the thought of Daryl being a spy and now she was fucked because she acknowledged the desire to escape.

"Come on." He sighed dramatically. "You've got to fucking talk to me. It's been so damn long. What do I gotta do to get those sexy lips moving?"

Shifting her weight from one foot to the other she leaned against the armchair, Lucille laying right next to her. She saw Negan's eyes skip between his bat and her. A tiny thrill ran through her at the glimmer of nerves that shone in his dark eyes. She couldn't help the satisfied smirk that slid on her face. Negan narrowed his eyes at her expression but then broken into a huge grin. Amusement overtaking irritation.

"Well fuck my sideways with a chainsaw. You do know how to fucking smile. I fucking knew it!" He exclaimed jumping to his feet. His hands shot up and cupped Valentine's cheeks making her yank backwards. She felt the hairs on her neck stand up as dread crept over her.

"Calm the fuck down. I'm not doing anything. I'm thinking about it but I won't do it until you beg me, which you will. I just wanted to see that fucking smirk up close. Give it to me." He begged before whining, "Come onnnnn, gimme it."

She stepped further away, which made him sigh and throw his arms up in the air. Negan picked up his bat and stepped into Valentine's person space, their chests were touching and her back was against the chipped plaster wall. He towered over her, his frame double the width of hers.

Placing his hand on the wall next to Valentine's head Negan leaned down, his nose barely grazing hers.

"I want to see that smirk while I pound the fuck out of you. I know you feel it. The air is thick with it. You. Need. Me." He whispered, his hot breath ghosting over he face. His breath smelled of spearmint and whiskey while the scent of his leather jacket and the blood still coating Lucille hovered around them. The lack of oxygen from her short breathes had her head spinning. That's what she told herself anyways because the lightheadedness couldn't be from him. Valentine refused to believe there was anything between them other than hate and resentment.

Valentine held herself so still her muscles began to cramp. He pressed into her slightly, she could feel his hardon dig into her hip before he pushed off the wall, taking a slow step back.

"So goddamn hard for you." He stated matter-of-factly. "You know where to find me. Oh Love, How's the back, I hope I didn't get too carried away?"

She only stared back which made him sigh in exasperation before throwing the door open. "See if I try to be fucking nice to you again!" He growled as she stepped to the door to close it. He stomped away from her down the hallway.

'Fuck,' she groaned after locking up, her body aching from the tension and her mind spinning with confusion.

 


	9. Chapter 9

They were scouting farmland for equipment and crop supplies. Valentine and a few others were clearing a field of a few dozen biters. She kicked out knees while bringing a blade down, cracking open rotten heads. Her arms worked in sync, one slicing off the tops of skulls while the other slammed home through eye sockets. There were others working the field with her but the path of death that followed her was wide and all encompassing. As she reached the last biter she crossed both her blades together cutting a head in two with both blades, blood splattering across her face. A satisfying exhaustion settled into her limbs. She let her eyes gaze over the gore as an odd feeling of satisfaction filled her. Licking her lips she tasted sweat and blood. A bitter metal taste that slicked her tongue.

Negan's loud voice brought Valentine back from the edge of feral behavior. He hollered from the middle of the field, "Biter kill of the week goes to motherfucking Valentine!"

His large frame jogged over and kicked the the fractured skull with his large boot, the gruesome meat hitting Mark in the chest. Gore splattered all over his shirt, face and glasses.

Negan laughed for so loud and so long, tears ran down his face. Valentine had to hold in her laughter because apparently she was a sadist also. 'You're turning into a lunatic just like him Val,' she scolded herself. She chewed her cheek as punishment and walked away from the scene feeling guilty.

As she passed the path of destruction she left, Valentine realized just how many biters she'd killed. It was impressive even to her which made Valentine's stomach clench. A deep seated fear of turning into the very monster she loathed filled her. As she walked by Seth, he muttered, "Psycho."

Her temper snapped instantly. He was only pointing out what she already knew but it was enough to push her over the edge. Throwing herself at him Valentine tackled him to the ground and crouched predatorily over him. She had her blade pressed to his neck deep enough to cause blood to pool while she pressed a knee into his stomach. The others stopped laughing and watched in surprise. Negan sauntered over and joked, "What the fuckity fuck is this shit?"

Valentine kept her eyes on Seth who was sneering up at her. Negan was hovering in the corner of her eye but she didn't let her wild gaze falter. Pressing the blade into his neck Valentine lowered her face, her teeth bared and growled deeply. Then she brought her knee up high and slammed it into his groin making him howl in pain. Rising to her feet she kicked him in the ribs before walking away. Negan laughed loudly and pointed at him, "Shit look he's crying. Angel I think you broke his motherfucking balls."

Valentine rolled her tense shoulders while walking back to the farm. She joined the group clearing the barn of supplies. Rick watched her approach and he asked, "Ya alright?" Tipping his chin to the field. Valentine nodded before grabbing a packed box. She helped fill the truck and then stood waiting for Negan's instructions.

"Ok we're done here. Roll out pussies." He drawled motioning for Valentine to sit with him. As they drove to the next location Negan stated, "You can't just beat the fuck out of guys for talking shit."

She couldn't help but give him an incredulous look which made him laugh. He shook his head, "Damn you don't even fucking need to talk to know what you're thinking. I get to beat the ever-loving fuck out of people because I'm in fucking charge. You, you're just a fucking hired gun and a piece of ass that entertains me."

She glared at him and felt her jaw set tightly. Negan grinned and explained, "I'd love for you to be a piece of ass that entertains me in my goddamn bedroom."

Valentine didn't even respond only turned her gaze back out the front window. She got lost in her head and completely ignored every word coming out of Negan's mouth until his hand grabbed her face.

"Wake the fuck up!" He barked loudly. "Jesus woman."

She finally made eye contact but still wasn't there. Pulling away from his hand she turned back to the window. Negan sighed loudly and punched the dashboard.

"I don't know what you fucking want from me. You should fucking trust me by now!" His voice was getting steadily louder as he turned to point aggressively in her face. She leaned back as he was towering over her. Valentine felt her reflexes kicking in her hand landing on her blade hilt. Negan looked down and hissed, "Try it and I'll smash the fuck out of your pretty little head."

Valentine smirked at him and tightened her hand on the blade. She felt a sudden urge to just end it. None of this was worth it anymore in her eyes at that very moment. Negan looked down and then back up, "You got a death wish now? Huh? What you don't wanna fucking live anymore that it?"

She sneered at him and kept her hand on her knife. Negan shook his head and laughed, "You wouldn't dare. You may hate life but you're a survivor just like me. You'll do anything to live. Kill anyone to do it. That's why I fucking love you. It's fucking hot. You painted in blood. I'd fuck the shit outta you right now covered in all that gore." He leered at her.

"We're here." Dwight spoke dully as he hopped out. Negan stayed put and he spoke quietly, "I know you feel it. I watched you in that field. You love killing. It gets your motor running just like me. The fights. I know you love winning."

She caught herself from snorting at the statement. Of course she loved winning a fight to the death.

"Well keep fucking ignoring the giant goddamn elephant in the room but I know. And you know what else I know? I know we would be so fucking good together. God the sex we would have!"

Valentine gave up waiting for him and slid out through the driver's side slamming the door on his laughing face. Walking away she saw Rick looking worried for her. She couldn't give him any relief from it. She was worried for herself.

* * *

Valentine was allowed to prowl the large property for supplies or to kill biters by herself. The place was a sprawling estate and they needed everyone's eyes to search the entire thing. It was a former plantation of some kind and it had many different structures throughout it. As she moved easily through the woods around the large fields she found what looked to be a groundkeeper's home. The tiny cottage was made of stone and covered in thick ivy. Valentine peered in through the tiny windows and could see everything preserved as it was before the turn. A thick film of dust and dirt covered the windows but she could see how still it was inside. Valentine worked quickly to peel off the ivy growing over the door and knocked. She waited for a moment but didn't hear any movement inside. Prying open the door Valentine cleared it of threats then went about scavenging.

Standing in the kitchenette she opened the door to find a bunch of canned goods and jugs of water. Her eyes widened and she looked over her shoulder as if someone were going to catch her. Leaving the supplies where it was Valentine decided she needed to check out everything before deciding what to do with it. A quick sweep of the home found a few other valuable items but nothing worth carrying back. Walking outside she pulled up the door to the old stand-alone garage. Inside sat a large suburban with dirty windows. Circling the vehicle she found five large cans full of gas sitting in the back and a five gallon jug of water. Valentine's heart was pounding hard. Her mind was screaming 'Get in and fucking go! GO NOW!'

Pulling open the door she found the keys tucked in the visor and with shaking hands shoved the key into the ignition. Hopping in she closed her eyes and turned the key. After a few chugs the car roared to a start, the small space filling with exhaust.

'Fuck.' She cursed and turned the car off, laying her head against the dirty steering wheel. Taking in a deep breath she fought with herself. Part of her wanted to throw all the gear in and drive away, fast, far and maybe forever.

She could probably make it pretty far without being found. Hell if Valentine was found, at least she could make sure to die before she got stuck back inside the Sanctuary.

The other part kept thinking about her husband and son, about how if she ran Negan would get away with killing them. The intelligent part of her argued that getting free was what Paul would want for her, not revenge.

Chewing her lip Valentine looked around and hesitated for another moment. A sharp whistle called out from the main property letting her know time was running out. They were getting ready to leave and she needed to get back before Negan came looking.

'You don't owe them anything. They're strangers. Run Val. Run. You can just leave. You've got enough gas to get you far away from here. Far away from him. It's what Paul would tell you to do. Run.' She thought but her gut turned at the thought of Carl being stuck in Sanctuary. Valentine didn't know them but he had been so sincere when he apologized for her being punished that it was hard to look past.

"Dammit," she muttered before climbing out to close up the garage door and lock the property up. She wove the ivy back together to hopefully hide the structure from long distances. It was a good back up plan and if they ended up working together the car was big enough to fit all five of them. They'd have water, food and gas. She wasn't going to tell Negan about the find and would deny ever seeing it if it was discovered. All she needed to do was make a note of where the property was located. It would be key to a great escape plan. Another sharp whistle was released making her move towards the group reluctantly. Her feet paused again as she reached the edge of the forest. Her chest aching at the feeling of failure. She was strolling back to a place she should be running from. 'You're insane Val.' She told herself before stepping through the trees.

As she entered the large field near the groups vehicles she saw Negan pacing along the truck. He was shouting at Dwight but suddenly stopped as she walked in their direction. He grinned and hollered, "Was about send out a search party, Love. You run into trouble?"

She shook her head and climbed into the back of the truck. Negan narrowed his eyes at her obvious move to get away from him but didn't say anything. Valentine sat down heavily, doubt for her choices keeping her eyes to the floor. As they moved out Rick stared at her for a long time, his eyes contemplating something. It was as if he knew she had been thinking of leaving. Negan didn't let her out of his sight for long without a chaperone. It being the first time she was allowed to stray, Rick must have assumed she would escape. After a moment Rick whispered, "Why didn't you just run?"

Valentine raised her eyes and looked around to see if anyone was listening. Seeing the others busy chatting about whatever they found, she gave him a pointed look. She didn't have to speak for him to know she stayed for them. For Carl. Her eyes spoke volumes. Rick nodded while rubbing his chin and jaw thoughtfully.

"Thank you," he drawled quietly, his eyes piercing her with gratitude. Valentine relaxed against the wall and chewed her cheek as she thought about how to make this supposed escape plan work. How to kill a monster and make it out alive. She needed help. She needed Rick's group in order to survive Sanctuary.

* * *

Negan was greeted with newcomers when they pulled into Sanctuary. His guards found a group of four people on the outskirts of town and brought them inside. Valentine looked them over and saw they were in rough shape. The three men looked to be in their mid forties while the woman couldn't be more than twenty. They looked as if they hadn't eaten in weeks, hair matted with mud and skin burnt from living in the woods. None of them would last much longer beyond the walls. Valentine knew Negan would most likely use them as manual labor unless they had any exploitable skills.

"Stay with me Valentine," he ordered as he strolled around the group, circling them, a large cat teasing his mice. They seemed to realize the grave mistake they made coming into the compound. She watched their leader realize the mistake and his eyes started looking for an escape.

'Don't do it,' she urged silently just as the guy lurched forward for a gun. A shot rang out and his head exploded all over Negan's shoes.

"Goddamnit Conner!" Negan screamed, "I just got these fucking boots."

He roughly yanked the jacket off the dead man and handed it to Conner. "Clean 'em fucktard."

Conner knelt down and began wiping the blood and brain away as Negan sneered, "Ok anyone else want to make a fucking move? Anybody? Cuz we got all the bullets in the world and we can gun you all the fuck down or you can be good little assholes and sit there and listen you fucking fuckers!"

He glowered over the remaining three who were teary eyed and angry. Valentine hoped they just did what he said to prevent any more bloodshed. The woman in the group kept her eyes on the dead body and Valentine could see she was going to do something stupid. Waiting for Negan to turn slightly she made her move. Valentine step forward grabbing the scruff of her neck and growled in her ear before Negan saw, "Don't."

She tried to convince the woman with her eyes but she struggled against Valentine, throwing kicks and flailing fists. Negan was laughing at the scene as she struggled against Valentine's grip.

"Fuck, you picked the wrong bitch to fight little lady." He taunted while swing Lucille too close for comfort. Valentine glared at him and pushed the woman to the ground, pointing at the dirt like ordering a dog to sit. The woman didn't listen and jumped to her feet again rushing at Valentine. She took the hits but didn't move an inch as the woman tried to push and punch her. Valentine stood there blocking every hit and kick without missing a beat. Soon the woman fatigued and collapsed to the ground, panting in the dirt. Negan was laughing hysterically and gasped, "Why didn't you hit her back Love? I mean she deserved a swift kick to the titties for that shit. I've seen you gut people for less."

Valentine stepped away from the woman who was crying and gasping on the ground. Looking at the other two she noticed them glaring but didn't let their obvious hatred effect her. She was trying to keep the woman from getting shot. If she attacked Negan or any other person there, she would've been killed. Letting the woman take it out on Valentine essentially saved her life.

"Ok let's get down to fucking business. Welcome to the Sanctuary." Negan started his speech telling them the rules of the compound and their ration system. Valentine stood back and zoned out as he spoke. She watched the woman glare at Negan and at her as he spoke. Valentine frowned and felt guilt trickle into her chest. She didn't want people to think she agreed with Negan or his damn community. She was only trying to help keep the woman alive.

"Valentine I want you on patrols." Negan announced as the others took the new residents away. He walked over, bending down and whispered in her ear, "Next time someone attacks you like that, you kill them. You look fucking weak when you take a beating like that."

She glared at him and turned away to start patrols but he grabbed her by the hair, yanking her back to face him. Valentine grit her teeth to keep from kicking and hitting him but held it in. Negan smirked as he looked her over and drawled, "I know you were thinking of running back at the farm. What changed your mind?"

She sneered at him pushing off his chest to get away. Negan tightened the grip on her hair, yanking her head to exposing her neck and growled, "Bitch I am not going to put up with your fucking bullshit for much longer."

Valentine relaxed her body, dropping her arms to her side and let him get his power play over with. He was showing everyone nearby he still controlled her. She glanced to her side and saw the new people being handed tools for digging out new trenches. The woman Valentine tried to help was watching with new eyes. Her face finally understanding that no one wanted to be here. No one was free to go and no one was safe from Negan's violence.

He yanked her head back one more time making her grunt in pain. Chuckling Negan brought his face to her neck, his nose trailing up to her jaw and whispered, "God I want to fuck you. My little fucking animal."

Letting go with a sharp shove Valentine stumbled backward, catching herself before falling down. "Get to fucking work," he snapped at her while sauntering away. Valentine rolled her head, cracking her neck and clenched her jaw as she watched him walk away.

'Should've run,' she thought angrily. Valentine hated herself now. She had a chance to run and she let her stupid humane side win over. That decision was probably what would get her killed.

As she started patrols she saw Daryl on the wall scouting the perimeter. He cocked an eyebrow at her, his eyes silently asking if she would work with them. Letting her own eyes cut around their immediate area she returned her gaze to his inquisitive one. Keeping eye contact with him she nodded in response to his question. Tipping his chin to her she saw he understood and moved on to start her patrol shift.

'Such a fucking softy Val.' She scolded herself while scanning the walls.

* * *

"Kill her!" the crowd cheered as Valentine moved around the arena. Her opponent was the woman who she tried saving the day before. She was no threat to Valentine and it left her feeling like an executioner. There was no self-defense in the fight because Valentine had way more skill than the woman. She was no threat at all.

Her opponent charged at her with the blade outstretched. Valentine dodged it and twisted her arm making her the blade drop. She kicked it away and threw the skinny woman to the ground but didn't move in for the kill. Backing away Valentine heard Negan screaming, "Kill her! What the fuck are you waiting for?!"

Valentine glanced around and saw Rick's group watching nervously. In between Daryl and Rick was Carl, who normally wasn't at the fights but Negan insisted he now join the men. Michonne stood with her arms crossed and her eyes hard. Valentine had only seen her a couple times but could tell the woman had a sharp mind. It felt as if she would be a kindred spirit.

Valentine didn't notice the woman charging her again and was caught off guard as she was tackled. The air was pushed out of her lungs with the fall as the woman threw unskilled fists and clawed at her. Valentine grabbed both the other fighter's wrists and flipped them over, her body pinning her to the ground.

"Fuck ya! Girl on Girl!" Negan shouted while grabbing himself suggestively. Valentine growled angrily as she realized there was no way to end the fight without killing the poor woman. She jumped to her feet away from the woman and circled the fighting ring again. Her mind was fighting the idea of killing someone who essentially couldn't fight back.

The crowd was jeering and booing her, screaming for blood. Valentine rolled her shoulders and prepared for the next onslaught of terrible hits and watched the woman grab her knife again. Valentine sighed and watched the woman prepare to attack.

"Fucking hell Love. Kill her already." Negan snarled as he pointed Lucille at her. She knew if she didn't do as he ordered new scars were going to appear on her body somewhere. Valentine watched the woman lurch forward and yanked the knife out of her hand. She wrapped an arm around her neck, placing the blade at her jugular. The woman screamed, struggling against the hold causing the knife to cut shallowly. Valentine kept her chokehold tight as she struggled with what Negan wanted.

"Kill her now Valentine," he ordered before looking over at Carl. He pointed the bat at the teen and suggested, "Maybe I should give you some incentive. Come here kid!"

Valentine's heart rate kicked up as Carl cautiously moved to Negan's side. The large man wrapped an arm around the boy's narrow shoulders and threatened, "Cut that bitch up or I will knock this fucking little shit's head clean off."

She looked over at Rick who was horrified, as was Daryl. Michonne's hand was resting on her swords hilt, her eyes flitting from Valentine to Carl. They were all close to jumping at Negan, which would end in death for everyone.

Valentine ground her teeth angrily, as tears burned her eyes. Her hand holding the knife trembled as she watched Carl's eyes clench shut. She flash backed to images of Michael's poor face spread out on the very floor she stood.

Negan brought the bat up high and she leaned forward pressing her lips against the woman's ear and whispered, "I'm sorry"

In one quick motion Valentine drug the knife across her throat, the blood shooting out across the floor and her hands. Time froze as she felt the woman struggle until the blood loss was too great. Her body went limp in Valentine's arms. Lowering the body to the floor she brought the blade down hard into the temple before throwing the knife to the side. Valentine panted heavily, dropping her chin to her chest and stared at the person she just murdered. Blood pooled below her, the thick fluid spreading out like wings. Valentine ground her teeth trying to stop from feeling anything but it was like a tidal wave of misery. A person could only take so much before they broke.

Negan was hooting loudly and pushed Carl towards his father. Valentine watched her blood covered hands shake and balled them up to stop it from showing.

"Good job Valentine. So how many is that Craig?"

"36, Sir." He answered while writing down the betting totals.

"You've murdered 36 people Valentine." Negan taunted with amused eyes, "What a fucking serial killer you are."

She looked up at the foursome, who all seemed torn with feeling relief or sorrow. Her eyes returned to Negan who smiled widely, "Go clean up Angel."

* * *

Being uninjured from the fight Valentine returned to her room, sitting heavily on the bed as emotion choked her up. She felt tears run down her face and had the urge to just kill herself. Looking at the knife on her belt she pulled it out, touching the blade to her thumb to check the sharpness. Looking at her wrists Valentine thought about how easy it would be to end everything. She could end it all and never see Negan again. The only thing holding her back was the thought that Carl and his family would most likely be stuck there with no hope to escape. Not to mention there wasn't anything pleasant waiting for her in the after life, if there was one to begin with. She had done too many terrible things in the new world to allow her any peace once dead.

A knock caused her to look up at the cheap door. She looked at her wrist and saw a thin cut were her blade had been resting. Valentine hadn't even realized she'd put it there. Another knock sounded out and she put her blade away, opening it slowly. Michonne stood there with a scowl and asked, "Can I come in?"

Valentine opened it further, closing it once she was inside. She looked around and then looked her over. Her wrist was dripping blood onto the floor. Raising an eyebrow Michonne jutted her chin to it, "I didn't see you get hurt during the match."

Valentine looked down and shrugged a shoulder before pulling out a bandana, wrapping it around her wrist. Michonne scoffed, "You going to off yourself?"

Looking up from the injury Valentine shrugged her shoulder again. Her chest ached and her head throbbed. Nothing seemed worth it anymore. Nothing was going to get any better and no matter what she did no one was going to be saved. Everyone was going to die and most of them at her hands.

"We'll get outta here but we need your help." Michonne stated before adding, "I'm sorry you had to do that back there. Thank you for saving Carl."

She shook her head as the image of the woman's slit throat flashed into her head and spoke to Michonne for the first time, "My hands are soaked in blood. I don't see the point in even trying to keep them clean anymore."

The woman's eyes widened at her words and she asked, "So you just don't talk huh?"

Valentine nodded and sat down on the bed heavily. She put her head in her hands and scrubbed her face hard. Michonne sat in the armchair and asked, "Are you going to tell us your plan to get out of here?"

"Truthfully. I don't have one and I'm thinking of giving up at this point. I'm fucking tired and... I don't think I can do this any longer."

Michonne shifted forward, her elbows on her knees and spoke firmly, "You can't give up. You've been through too damn much to give up now. So let's figure this shit out now."

Valentine scrubbed her face and stated, "I have an escape vehicle and supplies. We just need to get there."

The pair spoke about possibilities but nothing was decided. They had a means to escape if they could get to it. Michonne didn't agree with Valentine's assertion of needing to kill Negan before she left. Valentine reasoned that if they didn't, the tyrant would hunt them down. Especially since Valentine had held his interest for so long.

Both decided to think it over and then find time to talk without anyone seeing it. Valentine made a point to keep their involvement together a secret. If Negan found her spending time with anyone they'd become a bargaining chip. It was bad enough that he found out he could use Carl against her. He was a new chink in Valentine's armor, her Achilles heel and Negan would eventually use it against her. They needed to make a move soon before his threats escalated.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Valentine wandered through the giant big box store, both blades out as she cleared the building for the scavenge teams. Her feet were light and breath even. She was in her element. Much like the ring Valentine thrived on the danger. Despite it being a risky situation it was the only time she felt in control. She wasn't in control when dealing with Negan. Her life was no longer hers.

Her blades sliced through another skull, black blood spraying across the floor and the shelves of product. As she turned another corner she came face to face with four walkers. Moving quickly she cut two simultaneously before kicking one in the chest as her blade jammed into the fourth skull. Yanking it out she swung into down into the fallen body. Rising up she scanned the area for more, her ears picking up any movement nearby.

Michonne stepped out silently from between two clothing racks and gave Valentine a brief nod. They continued to walk together listening for more biters. A clatter of hangers had them moving further down the aisle to find a dozen more dead coming their way. Smirking at each other, they carefully laid down a shelf blocking the aisle partially causing the dead to funnel towards them a few at a time. Valentine's arms swung out, both blades working in unison while Michonne stood crouched, her arms swinging her incredibly sharp blade smoothly. The sound of metal slicing through the air rung out followed by the loud thud of falling bodies.

The last two undead were making their way through when Valentine sensed something behind her. A few more corpses shuffled towards the pair. Stepping to the side her right arm swung out to kill the closest as she kicked one away from her. Grunting she yanked her blade out and sliced another just as it grabbed her arm. Michonne pushed a rotting woman into a shelf, the metal pole plunging out the front of the corpses forehead.

They were both panting hard but weren't done killing yet. Two more walkers scrambled over the fallen bodies at them causing both women to jump back. Michonne stabbed forward, her long katana piercing the shorter biter in the skull. Valentine kicked the giant man lumbering towards her and slipped on the gore covered floor. After a frantic scramble to stand, she cleaved the thing's head in half.

Blowing out a relieved breath, Valentine stood with her hands on her hips and head tilted up. Michonne chuckled and panted, "That was fun." Valentine peeked over and whispered, "Thank god I'm not the only one who enjoys this shit. I was getting worried."

They both grinned downward at each other until they heard the scuff of a shoe as Negan came around the corner to see the massacre. "Jesus Love. You fucking amazing animal." He commended his bat pointing at the heap of dead bodies, "You two kill all these fuckers?"

Valentine wiped her blade on a dead man's shirt and shrugged in response. Michonne nodded silently. It seemed that both women were silent types. It made Valetine smiled inwardly. She stood there waiting for instructions as Negan called the clearing group over and waved his hand over the large mass of dead biters.

"This is what I like to fucking see. Valentine and her ninja friend here took out, shit how many's here? 20, 30? By them-fucking-selves. Step it up you lazy pussies. These women are making you look like weak motherfuckers." A few disgruntled grunts could be heard and a couple whistles. Valentine wanted to roll her eyes at Negan's grandstanding. After sliding her blades back, Valentine rolled her shoulders to stretch the kinks. The group split up and began searching the store for supplies.

* * *

The convoy moved onto the next location, which was a residential area spread out near the edge of the national forest. The homes were on sizable pieces of land and were known for their eco friendly, self-sustainable buildings. The group was striping them of solar panels and rain collecting equipment. Valentine and Michonne were sent off to clear the whole area of walkers. Negan concluding that they could take care of each other after witnessing the genocide of biters in the last stop.

The pair had cleared a sizeable portion of the properties. Some were fenced yards and others had no barriers between homes. Michonne entered a large greenhouse while Valentine did a quick sweep around the perimeter fence. As she returned to the greenhouse door she heard a struggle. When Valentine entered she saw Michonne being pinned to the ground by two men. Valentine sped up her quiet feet and readied her blade to kill. She was so focused on reaching Michonne she hadn't seen the man watching the scene.

One moment she was striding forward and the next she was tackled from the side. Her blade shot out of her hand as the man's weight landed hard onto her side. Grunting in pain she began struggling with the man's grip. She twisted her body and elbowed him in the face repeatedly until he was able to push the offending limb away.

Valentine lunged away from his hands reaching for her machete. He punched her in the ribs making her grunt in pain. Another set of hands began holding her leg while the first man pinned her arms. Rage flooded her as memories of the attack months ago engulfed her mind. Adrenaline rushed through her heart and into her limbs. Moving quicker than the two were expecting, Valentine yanked her legs up and thrust one outward into the second man's face. He stumbled away holding his broken nose as the other man lost his grip on her arms. Her hand shot out, yanking his knife out of the belt sheath and shoved it into his gut repeatedly. Valentine pushed him away and jumped to her feet stepping forward to jam the blood coated blade into his eye socket. Leaving the knife in his face, she picked up her machete and stalked towards the man holding his pulverized nose. Bring the sharp edge up she slammed into home into his forehead while he held up a surrendering hand. His body seized and shook before finally going limp.

She turned around to the man currently holding Michonne pinned to the ground. Valentine pointed her machete at him and growled, "You wanna die slow or fast?"

He grinned wickedly at her and taunted, "Try it bitch." He rose to his feet kicking Michonne's legs out of the way while moving toward Valentine. He was a large man, at least a hundred pounds heavier than either of the women but Valentine had dealt with men like him. They relied on their size, relied on the normal fear they instilled in others. Not much scared Valentine anymore though, especially overgrown assholes who deserved to be gutted.

"Well come on now. Got me interested. Come play little girl." He teased circling around Valentine. She watched Michonne roll out of the way her face bloodied and her hand gripping her ribs. It made Valentine's blood boil. Bringing out her second blade she tapped them together, "I'm going turn you inside out." She spoke calmly as her pupils darkened and filled with bloodlust.

The man laughed gruffly but she saw a glimmer of apprehension. He wasn't used to anyone threatening him, let alone a woman. It probably set off a warning bell in his head. A ringing telling him he'd stepped into a pile of shit he hadn't been expecting. One he might not be able to scrap off so easily.

Moving around him, she watched her prey. Valentine's agile footsteps making no sound, arms poised to kill her target. The man pulled out his knife, twisting it to show off the edge and sheen. Valentine smiled her feral grin, the one she learned in the rings. The one trained into her by Negan's mental prods.

The large man attacked, his blade slicing at her abdomen but her nimble feet had her jumping out of the way. Her left arm swung around while her right stabbed forward causing him to choose a direction to escape. Her left blade skimmed across his side, shredding his shirt and cutting his ribs wide open. She felt the vibration of her blade hitting bone and the weight of the blood on the sharp edge. Her feet kept moving, her path leading around him as he winced and cupped his side. Valentine bared her teeth and let her eyes shine wild. She knew this side of her well. It had been honed, sculpted and perfected by her time in Sanctuary. It was as essential as breathing because it was what kept her breathing. Without her feral side, Valentine wouldn't be alive. It was the beast that allowed her to survive the new world of savagery.

"Gonna kill you," he growled but the tone of his voice was more strained than angry. Valentine struck quick both blades crossing diagonally, one clipping the major artery of his neck and the other slicing through the canvas cargos wrapping his thick legs. The blade severed the artery leading into his thigh. Both injuries quickly rid the man of his fight. Blood spurted out of his neck, the stream shooting almost a dozen feet across the room. The leg wound gushed down his leg, filling his boot. Valentine paced in front of him like a predator circling its downed prey, just waiting to approach and consume.

He fell to his knees and pressed a hand to his neck. A sucking gasp resounded from his mouth and he stared with wide shocked eyes as Valentine grinned cruelly.

"Should've kept walking on big boy." She taunted her feet still moving her back and forth in front of him, her posture giddy with her kill. If Valentine had been watching from the outside, she would be horrified. This part of her wasn't something she would condone or embrace. The old Valentine would've been terrified of herself.

The man fell forward and splayed out on the floor, his hand still gripping his neck. The blood pool below him grew steadily and moments later he stopped breathing. Valentine felt the thick electric adrenaline run through her blood. The intense euphoric feeling moved through her body like a fuse burning on a cherry bomb. The burst of endorphins caused her head to lighten and her chest constrict but in a pleasantly painful way. She panted short gasps as her pupils dilated and took in every detail of the scene. She watched with rapt attention as the thick crimson liquid spread out. The edge rolled further and further, soon lengthening to a narrow tip and dripping into the cement crack. It was like a macabre satellite map of the Mississippi River. Instead of the dirty muddy waters of the old Miss it was scarlet lifeblood.

Her eyes slid to his prone form and watched the pinkness of his skin fade as a ghostly white took over, his body now exsanguinated. She focused on what she felt and smelled in the room. Her mind memorizing every sickening detail.

The air was humid, thick enough to chew it seemed. A heady smell of blood and sweaty musk was tangy at the back of her throat. Her tongue darted out, tracing her lip and sampling the air, the copper of blood and salt of sweat.

A sound brought Valentine's head around and she found Michonne watching her closely with a furrowed brow. Tilting her head she watched the woman back, her eyes taking stock of her injuries. Putting her blades away after wiping them on the dead man's shirt, she approached to help the woman to her feet. Michonne hesitated for a split second as if what she had witnessed was too gruesome to justify as self-defense. Valentine put her hands up and reassured her, "I'm not going to hurt you."

Michonne looked wary of the words but gave her a stiff nod. Valentine helped her up and led her back to the scouting group. She knew Negan was going to be pissed at their lateness but would most likely get off their cases when he saw their injuries. If there was one thing Negan could be counted on for was anger for harming one of his group, especially the women. It was bizarre for him to be protective of anything while being so sadistic. Michonne seemed to be thinking along the same lines and grunted, "We're late... What happens?"

Valentine shifted her arm to grip the injured woman better and explained, "Tell him we were jumped by men, rapists. He'll back off."

"Daryl's been working the fences. He's got us an exit. We just need a time." Michonne detailed quietly, her hand gripping her sore ribs. Valentine grunted in response and muttered, "I'll think of something. Have him show me the panel."

"Alright. Don't do anything stupid." Michonne insisted with a firm expression. "Don't risk your life." Valentine snorted, "Waking up is risking my life."

Michonne rolled her eyes and then grimaced, as the terrain got more difficult. Soon they were at the top of the hill and found the street the group was waiting at. If it had been anyone else Negan would probably write them off as dead but Valentine knew he would stick around for her. He had too much invested in her. A whistle was let loose when the scouts spotted them. Negan marched out with a few guards and met them in the tall grass field.

"What the fucking fuck is this?" He demanded his eyes angry and blazing, "The fuck happen to you two?"

"Jumped by a bunch of assholes." Michonne grunted out as Rick ran up to help her. His eyes met Valentine's for a moment before wrapping a secure arm around Michonne's waist.

"What did they want?" Negan asked his voice tense, his obsidian eyes somehow darkening further.

"They wanted us. Valentine took care of them." Michonne responded as they walked toward the camp for medical care. Valentine had straightened up from carrying her and crossed her arms waiting for Negan's reaction. He strode forward looking at Valentine carefully. His eyes saw the few bruises and scratches from stray hits and the split skin on her knuckles.

"They suffer?" He asked gruffly his back straightening to its full height. Valentine gave him a head bob before moving around him toward the camp. She was sore however it was nothing remarkable but she did want to clean her knuckles. If she didn't, they'd get infected or struggle to heal. Valentine fought too much to not care for them.

Sitting down on the ground, she pulled her bag open and found her personal first aid kit. Slowly and methodically she started cleaning her wounds, her body dulling to a low buzz. The adrenaline ebbed and the gentle hum of her blood calmed her. Letting her eyes trail over the others she saw Rick and Michonne talking quietly. Both sets of eyes landed on her periodically. All she could assume was Michonne was recounting the insanity that was Valentine and how to killed those men with a giant grin on her face. 'Might as well have done a jig when you were done Val.' she snarked inwardly.

"Any serious injuries?" Negan asked, his figure towering over her seated one. Valentine gave a shake of her head and kept her eyes on her work. Negan sat down in front of her suddenly making her tense and jolt backwards. He grabbed her hand and growled, "Give it here. You're fucking this shit up."

Valentine tried to yank her hand away but he held her wrist firmly and explained, "I just want to help."

She clenched her jaw as a ripple of anxiety shivered through her. He gave her a questioning look, silently asking permission. Valentine's forehead wrinkled in confusion, he'd never asked permission for anything. Dropping her chin to her chest she relaxed her arm and allowed him to work. Negan picked up the gauze and antibiotic wash.

He gently cleaned the rest of her injured knuckles and even removed the jagged loose skin with tweezers. Valentine's heart clenched as she flashed back to all those times Paul would give her first aid. Wrapping the ankle she always seemed to sprain, pulling out splinters from the stupidass rake they never replaced, bandaging the scraps she received while training. It was too close to her old life with the person who had taken it all way.

"Did they touch you?" He interrupted her haunting memories, his voice low and strained. Valentine looked up to see an odd pained expression on Negan's face. Shaking her head once she watched him get back to patching her up. He finished wrapping her hands securely and then quipped, "There. Now if you could possibly not get injured anymore you might be useful."

She rolled her eyes before she could stop herself and heard him laugh. Negan gave her a boyish grin and pulled on one of her loose curls. Valentine flushed at his dark gaze, his eyes drifting over her face slowly. She looked away feeling uncomfortable with how her body was reacting to the man now. Negan spoke sounding more genuine than ever before, "I'm happy you made it back safe and sound Valentine." With that statement he stood and went back to planning the next day's route with Dwight.

Her eyes narrowed as she contemplated his confusing actions and words. Not to mention whatever the hell was going on with her. Like why had her stomach clenched in that way at the look in his eyes and cadence of his voice? Why did she blush like some teenage girl flirting with the captain of the football team?

'Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Valentine.' She thought, a sickening wave of nausea crashed into her. It seemed as if she had truly lost her mind. It had taken a year but she was finally crashing and burning into the land of the mentally ill.

Feeling eyes on her, Valentine glanced around and saw quite a few staring, including Rick and Michonne's. Her gaze dropped to the ground as shame and guilt crushed her. 'What the fuck is wrong with you? What would Paul think of you right now?' Valentine asked herself, her eyes prickling.

* * *

The sun was just peeking over the horizon when Negan shouted for everyone to load up. The group began packing the last of the gear and climbed in for the drive back. The next town was a few hours away and they would spend the night depending on how stocked it was. Valentine was hopping into the back of one of the trucks when Negan shouted her name before pointing at the cab. Her teeth set on edge and she let out a low growl of frustration. Michonne smirked at her and cocked an eyebrow. Valentine glared at her for a moment before looking around for witnesses. Once the coast was clear she gave her the finger covertly while walking away. It gave her some kind of secret thrill. Like having a friend. Valentine hadn't had a friend since Paul died. It gave her a pang of sadness as well as jolt of fear. With friends came weakness.

* * *

Valentine moved along the shadow of the factory wall. She was meeting up with Daryl to see their possible escape route. She hadn't spoken much to the man but had seen him working on scavenge runs. She knew he could handle himself and others. Michonne had shown her capabilities as had Rick. Even Carl showed his strengths in weaponry on the terrible run he went on. Valentine hoped that since they seemed to know how to live beyond walls, an escape would actually be possible.

She reached the back corner of the building and could make out Daryl's shadowed shape, his crossbow resting on his shoulder as he patrolled the wall. The sound of the walkers strewn along the fence filled the night with groans and snarls. The normal smell of rotting flesh was thicker as she approached the perimeter fence.

Daryl dipped his chin as a greeting when she joined him quietly. Ticking his head to the side he walked them to the fence panel he had tampered with. It was a small area that was partially hidden from the scouts on the roof. Tucked away behind a small cinderblock building, once used as storage for electrical panels, was a perfect exit spot.

"Got this panel loose. Got the first layer of walkers put down. All we gotta do is stab the two holding the side panels together." Daryl explained while pointing out the few wires holding the fence together and the two bodies being used as fencing.

Valentine nodded and moved closer looking at the remaining ties to make sure it would hold for the time being. They didn't need the fence to fail before they escaped.

Daryl shifted his feet and drawled, "Thanks for helping Michonne the other day."

Valentine nodded and looked away feeling uncomfortable. She'd only spoken to Michonne and wasn't too sure she wanted to open up to anyone else.

"She said ya wanna kill him before you'll leave." he rasped his eyes flitting around the darkened yard. Valentine nodded and looked away feeling anxious. She was pretty sure they thought her desire to kill the monster was pointless. Daryl grunted and then chewed on his thumb while seemingly contemplating something.

"Understand why... so does Michonne. We both lost people to a guy like him..." Daryl spoke quietly his eyes avoiding hers. Valentine watched him carefully as he seemed to be thinking of the person he lost. A look of sadness crept into his eyes but was quickly shoved down under the surface again. He glanced at her with narrowed eyes and drawled, "We know ya wanna do it for your family but sometimes ya gotta cut and run. Sometimes it ain't worth the risk."

Valentine ground her teeth and glowered at him. The idea of running away without killing Negan wasn't one she could get on board with. Daryl grunted at her expression and tried to explain, "Look I get it... my brother... The bastard who shot him, let him turn. I had to..." he looked away before adding, "Anyways I get it but sometimes ya gotta pick your battles."

Valentine shifted uncomfortably and chewed her cheek. After a long tense silence Valentine spoke quietly, "He bludgeoned my husband and son to death in front of me. I had to pick my sons brain and skull out of my hair." She looked up with red eyes and met his strained ones. He looked away while gripping his crossbow strap with whitened knuckles. Valentine cleared her throat, the lump that formed unrelenting.

"If it comes down to it, you guys take the chance without me. I'll do my best to keep them from finding you. But I can't leave until I finish this. I have to finish this." She told him while looking toward the darkened factory. "I gotta go. I'll let you know if I come up with something."

Daryl nodded and watched her walking away before whispering, "We won' t leave without ya." Valentine looked back at him over her shoulder, "Don't make promises you can't keep Daryl."

* * *

Valentine was walking across the yard back to the factory's housing when she heard a throat clear from her side. Her eyes jumped to the sound and watched as a shadow stepped out of the darkened alcove. Grinding her teeth she saw Seth approaching, a malicious grin on his face.

'Fuck.' She seethed inwardly. 'Good one Val. He saw you. You're fucked now.'

Seth walked up to her, his arms crossed and head tilted slightly. "Sooo Valentine. You can talk huh? Wonder if Negan would like to hear about your little... rendezvous with the redneck."

Valentine shifted her stance and tightened her fists. She was contemplating if she could kill Seth without anyone witnessing it. He got closer and taunted, "I mean I think he'd be pretty upset if he found out his little pet was secretly meeting men in dark alleys, not to mention whispering sweet nothings."

'He didn't hear what the conversation was,' she thought while moving her hand closer to her machete blade. Seth's eyes cut to her hands and he tsked, "uh uh uh. Don't move."

Valentine sneered and moved to circle the man. He couldn't walk away from this. Seth would tell Negan and he would probably punish them both. He might even give Daryl the same horrific burn as Dwight. Valentine couldn't let that happen.

Seth figured out what she was doing and started readying his stance for her attack. They moved slowly and suddenly Seth charged at her. She moved quickly but not quick enough as the baldheaded man kicked her in the shin, knocking her off balance. Valentine grunted as pain splintered down her leg. The man then tackled her to the ground. Gasping as the wind got knocked out of her, Valentine threw ineffective punches and knees while Seth tried to pin her to the ground. She growled angrily as they struggled, his hands squeezing her wrists painfully.

"Fucking cunt. We coulda worked something out." he sneered his body weighing heavy onto hers. Valentine spit in his face causing him to growl and loosen one hand to wipe it away. As he spoke a slew of curse words Valentine brought a hand up, clawing his face and digging her thumb into his eye. The man snarled throwing a punch her way, clipping her jaw.

Both of them rolled and threw punches while trying to get control of the situation. Soon Valentine was on top, landing elbows and punches. Her knuckles broke open and left blood smears as she land hit after hit to his face and jaw. Seth reached up and started choking her while grabbing his knife with the other hand. Valentine gripped his wrist and tried to get the blade free. After a few tense moments she yanked the blade away and shoved it upwards, the blade pushing under his chin and into his mouth. Blood gushed out of his mouth and down his neck as he choked and sputtered. A sound from behind her registered in her brain but she didn't acknowledge it. Instead she watched the man with wide eyes, gurgle and spit out blood before finally dying.

Valentine was panting, her chest heaving and heart clattering. A shadow reached her peripheral vision and she shot up from the ground, pulling the knife out and pointing it to the shape. She saw Daryl step towards her and noticed he was looking rather shocked at her bloodied appearance.

"What happen?" he drawled looking down at the growing puddle of blood. Valentine glanced around and whispered, "He saw us."

As soon as the words were out three more people showed up, one being the last person Valentine wanted to see. She clenched her jaw shut as she realized she just killed outside of the ring again. 'Goddamit,' she groaned inwardly and looked down at the bloodied man.

"What the fuck is this shit?" Negan growled looking at the dead man before stomping towards Valentine, "I thought we discussed you killing my men without permission. I think I recall Lucille making herself pretty fucking clear about this Angel."

"He tried to get her to fuck 'im. She refused and they fought." Daryl supplied instantly. Negan's eyes jumped to Valentine's before returning to Daryl.

"You didn't try to help her?" Negan growled, his anger now directed at Daryl. Valentine tightened her fists as she began to fear Daryl taking on the wrath of a furious Negan.

"Couldn't. She wanted to handle it herself." Daryl answered his eyes flitting to hers. She could tell he was nervous he said the wrong thing, that Negan would take his anger out on her now. Negan's eyes narrowed as he contemplated his next words. Valentine stayed very still waiting for the fallout of her killing yet another of Negan's Saviors.

"That what happened Valentine?" he asked looking her over, his eyes taking in her injuries. Valentine nodded and looked down at her bloodied hands. The adrenaline was ebbing and she could tell she'd hurt a rib at some point. Moving a hand to her side she probed the pain and grimaced as she hit what had to be a bruise or cracked rib.

Negan stepped forward and dipped his head to catch her eyes and asked, "Anything serious?"

She looked up and met his worried gaze. 'Use it Val.' Valentine thought deciding she needed to start taking advantage of his new habit of being concerned for her wellbeing.

Valentine looked away from his intense gaze and shrugged a shoulder. She knew it wasn't too serious but felt like it was the best way to get him to move on from the anger towards her and Daryl.

Negan grunted and ticked his head to the doorway, "Let's go see Doc. You three clean this fucking mess up." He waited for Valentine to head to the building and followed once she did. She walked normally but held her side as the pain increased with her movements. The feeling of Negan staring put her on edge but she didn't glare back like she normally would. 'Play nice, get close and gut him, Val.' She told herself feeling sick at the prospect of being nice to the monster.

Doc jumped to his feet to attend to Valentine when she entered his office. Negan made sure she went in and then muttered something about dealing with some other 'shit'.

"Let me see." Doc instructed while sitting down in front of her, motioning to her side. Valentine raised her shirt exposing the injury as well as all the old scars. Looking down she saw a large bruise forming along her ribs. Doc hummed at the sight and began probing it for breaks.

Doc moved his fingers along each rib and declared, "No breaks. Just some deep bruising. Anything else hurt?"

Lifting her leg she unlaced her boot to expose the leg that was kicked out from under her. Doc pulled the pant leg up and saw the giant welt blossoming against her pale skin. He hissed at the sight and muttered, "Jesus Val."

His hand was gentle but she still grunted in pain as he felt along the contusion. He announced that it wasn't a break but a deep muscle contusion. He prescribed her a ration of pain pills and told her to wrap her ribs if they hurt the next day. Valentine nodded and gave him a small smile before heading off to her room.

At the top of the landing she found Negan leaning against her door. Groaning inwardly she approached him.

"Hey Angel. So are you going to live? Doc patch you up satisfactorily?"

Valentine stuck her key in the door and entered her room. She was feeling anxious about trying to get Negan's guard down. The thought of having to play nice and maybe even speak the man was a bitter pill to swallow.

"I'll take that as a yes. Any permanent damage?" he asked sitting down in the ratty armchair, Lucille laying across his thighs. Valentine sat down stiffly on the bed and held her ribs while untying her boots with one hand. Suddenly Negan was crouched in front of her helping her untie her shoes. She pulled back automatically but he gripped her ankle tightly making her grunt in pain.

"Calm your tits. I am just helping you." He spoke smoothly, his hands deftly pulling the laces loose asking quietly, "Did he break a rib?"

When Valentine didn't respond he snapped, "Is that a yes? Or a fucking no?" yanking the boot off roughly. The movement pulled her forward causing her to hiss in pain. Negan paused, raking a frustrated hand through his hair and sighed, "Sorry. Fuck if you would just talk I wouldn't get so fucking mad at you for not answering me."

Valentine clenched her teeth as he started loosening the other boot. It was the leg that took the leg sweep. It was incredibly sore from the giant bruise. Doc had been surprised it wasn't broken. After pulling it off Negan got a look at the giant bruise.

Hissing through clenched teeth, "Shit. That's un-fucking-believably painful looking." He looked at her eyes and placed a finger in the center, apply the softest of pressure, which made her breath hitch.

"Ok it is un-fucking-believably painful." He remarked gently setting her foot on the ground. "Wish you hadn't killed the asshole so I could burn his fucking face off for touching you."

Valentine watched as he looked her over while pushing himself up to his feet. Standing in front of her with arms crossed he instructed, "You're off scavenge tomorrow. Stay here and rest. I'll make sure rations are sent up."

Her brow furrowed in confusion at the statement. Negan snorted and asked, "What? Do you think I'm a fucking monster? That prick hurt you. You deserve a day off. " Picking up Lucille he strode to the door and opened it widely, "I will see you later Love. Rest up. Maybe we can have dinner." The door slammed shut and Valentine continued to stare at it. 'Val, you're in way over your head now.'

 


	11. Chapter 11

"Negan wants to see you," Mark announced after Valentine opened her door. Furrowing her brow she stood there looking confused until he sighed and snapped, "I don't know why. Just come the fuck on already, Jesus."

Valentine grabbed her blades and followed Mark toward Negan's office. It wasn't the first time he'd sent for her but recently he'd just been showing up on her doorstep. A tiny niggling of nerves itched between her shoulder blades.

They climbed two flights of stairs and finally arrived at the large plant manager's office. Mark knocked and they heard Negan welcome them in. When Mark opened the door Valentine saw Negan sitting behind his desk, feet propped up and hands behind his neck. Lucille was lying on the desk before him, the new wire glinting off of the camp lanterns.

"Come on in Valentine. Mark you can fuck off for now." Negan ordered. Swallowing down the overwhelming urge to run, Valentine stepped inside. She walked to stand in front of his desk when her heart stopped.

Daryl was standing to the side of the room, arms crossed while looking more than a little pissed off. Another man was standing nearby with nervous eyes, his hands wringing a baseball cap. Valentine had seen him around the yard but didn't know his name.

"How are you doing today Valentine?" Negan asked his voice was tense with a veneer of friendly.

The hair on the back of her neck stood up. 'He knows,' she thought as a shiver ran up her spine. She kept her face as blank as a sheet of paper while her body was loose. Negan sat up in his chair, leaning on his elbows and pursed his lips. He was drilling holes into her with an indiscernible look in his eyes.

"So have you met Henry?" Negan asked calmly, tipping his head towards the man next to Daryl. Valentine glanced at him and shrugged her shoulders while giving Negan a bored look. He chuckled and explained, "I figured. See Henry here works in maintenance. He's been working on clearing off the flat roof of the old administration building so we can lay the solar panels."

Valentine kept her face unimpressed but understood where the conversation was going. Good old Henry was probably a witness to the fight between Seth and her. He would've been above them as they fought. Fortunately he wouldn't have been able to see Daryl and her meeting.

'What did he hear?' Valentine asked herself while running through her memory of the confrontation with the asshole.

"Tell Valentine what you saw and heard Henry." Negan instructed his words carrying a razor sharp edge.

Henry swallowed and cut his gaze to her. Valentine narrowed her eyes letting the man see what and whom he'd be facing if she lived through the meeting.

"I.. I saw Seth and Valentine talking. He was saying..." Henry stammered and trailed off as Valentine cocked her head to the side predatorily.

"Now Love, don't intimidate the poor motherfucker. He's going to piss himself. Go on." Negan scolded but smirked at her, obviously amused by her tactics.

"Seth said something about you Sir, being upset about Valentine meeting up with men in dark alleys. Also said that she was t-talking to him." Henry answered while his eyes skipped between the two. He then shuffled a step away from both Daryl and Valentine, obviously aware of the rage rolling off both of them.

Negan's eyes darkened as he stared at them and growled slightly, "Anything else?"

"Seth attacked first. She was defending herself." Henry provided his eyes nervously jumping between Valentine and Negan.

Negan huffed out an irritated breath, muttering about Seth being an asshole then grunted, "Thanks Henry. You'll get your extras."

Valentine clenched her teeth together and cursed Henry for being a rat for recreational rations, like smokes and booze but silently thanked him for at least telling Negan she didn't kill the guy to just shut him up... Even though she did but 'he attacked first' was a good cover.

"So. Love. You're meeting rednecks in dark alleys?" Negan sneered leaning on his elbows, his hands clenched together. Valentine took in his ridged posture and his fist's bleached white knuckles. He was simmering under the surface, the edges of his anger was bleeding through in his darkening gaze.

She narrowed her eyes with what she hoped passed as irritation and not fear, while shaking her head. Daryl cleared his throat and rasped, "We passed each other on the perimeter. I thanked her for helping Michonne on the run. She saved her ass so I thanked her."

Negan's glare landed on Daryl and he growled, "And what did she say?"

"Nothin. She don't talk. Gave me a nod." Daryl responded while demonstrating the nod. Negan glanced between the two and sat back, his hands behind his head. His broad chest was stretched and she could see just how hard it was going to be to kill him. He was probably a foot taller and over a hundred pounds heavier than her. One of his hands could almost encircle her neck. If she wanted to kill him it would have to come as a surprise because as soon as he saw her coming he'd destroy her. She had no delusions that she was strong enough to take Negan down headfirst.

Valentine could practically see his wheels turning, his dark eyes lightening slightly but not completely. It was almost as if he didn't believe them but he desperately wanted to. He was jealous. Not only did he not want her seeing anyone without his consent but also by her choice. Valentine wanted to point out that she wasn't his wife and she could meet up with men anywhere she damn well pleased. No one else was required to get a permission slip from Negan to fuck each other.

Leaning forward Negan laid his hand on Lucille's handle, his thumb stroking the grain. After a long tense moment of Negan staring he sneered, "Fuck off redneck." His eyes did not leave Valentine's as he picked up his bat, laying it gently on his shoulder. Valentine kept her eyes on his, her face placid and posture relaxed. Not showing Negan her anxiety was essential to keep from encouraging his torment. His amusement was sometimes the only thing fueling his actions. It was like running from a rabid dog. Encouraging the chase.

She could see Daryl hesitate for a moment out of the corner of her eye, the man obviously struggling to leave her alone with an armed Negan. After the few seconds of debate he exited the room. Negan continued to stare at her while leaning back in his seat, his hands slowly twisting around Lucille's narrow handle. She cleared her throat and cocked a questioning eyebrow, hoping he would get the hint and do whatever the hell he was going to do already.

"Do you know why I give a fuck if you are fucking random hillbillies?" Negan asked, his head cocked to the side slightly, his lips downturned. Valentine's eyebrows scrunched up and she rolled her shoulder lazily. She had an inkling it was because he didn't like to share his toys but Valentine was going to play ignorant.

Negan stood up, setting Lucille down and came around to the front of his desk. He leaned against the tabletop, hands gripping the edge and looked at her with a furrowed brow.

"I give a fuck because... " He trailed off and shook his head while laughing dryly. He cocked an eyebrow and drawled, "Are you fucking with me because I feel like I've been pretty clear with you."

Valentine shifted uncomfortably and he growled, turning his face away, looking out the window that overlooked the whole plant. She kept still while he apparently organized his thoughts.

Negan shifted his eyes back to hers and he spoke evenly, "I know you like to ignore how much we're alike but you know it's true."

Valentine gritted her jaw and crossed her arms defensively. She didn't want to be like Negan... Yet if she were brutally honest with herself, he wasn't lying. It didn't matter that the reason she now enjoyed violence was Negan himself because it was still true. She thrived of killing walkers and fighting in the rings. It was frightening and sickening but nevertheless true. Valentine had adapted too well for the new world. She was a predator now. Just like Negan. 'Just. Like. Negan.' She thought angrily.

"I see you fucking thinking about it. Just admit you like the thrill of it. You like the blood and the goddamn high you get from spilling it."

She looked away and kept as silent as always, her heart picking up a few beats a second. Negan walked a few steps closer and urged quietly, his voice rough, "Admit it Valentine."

Her chest rose and fell with shallow pants, her anxiety kicking up a notch at every word he spoke and step he took. Negan was within arms reach now, his hand reaching up and tucking a curl behind her ear. Valentine froze, every muscle in her body stiffened and cramped with tension. Letting his hand fall, Negan's fingers glided down her bare bicep leaving a trail of goose bumps until his hand cupped her elbow. The heat from his palm made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Valentine couldn't get herself to move away, her feet cemented to the ground like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi truck. Wide eyes and useless limbs.

Negan took it as acquiescence and moved another step closer. Skimming both hands up her arms, Negan's thumb slid under the short sleeve of her shirt and brushed back and forth. Valentine's jaw was so tight she felt her teeth throb from the pressure. She was overwhelmed with his scent. Leather and aftershave, a hint of mint and soap. However it wasn't just his scent that was overwhelming, it was the fact that she recognized it, remembered it. Valentine tried to remember what Paul smelled like but couldn't. Her heart broke at that realization and a little part of her died just then. He truly was gone to her now.

"I know you feel this thing we have." He rasped, the grit in his tone making her shiver, "You want to deny it. You think you should because of the past but... I know you fucking feel it, what we could have. Who we could be."

She felt his fingers drag up her biceps again and trail over her shoulders to land on the sides of her neck, cupping her flushed skin. As soon as Negan traced the edges of her jaw with his thumbs Valentine body kicked into gear and allowed her to finally move. Yanking her head away she took a stumbled step away from him, her breathing erratic and heart clashing.

'No. No that's not true Valentine. You're just losing your fucking mind.' She growled inwardly. 'He's breaking you Val.'

Negan sighed, "I'd treat you good you know. None of my wives want for any-fucking-thing. I wouldn't even ask you to participate with them. It could be just you and me, Love. Hell I don't want to share you with anyone, even the girls."

Valentine swallowed down her revulsion and shook her head, her burning eyes looking at the floor and not the man in front of her. She chewed her cheek until tasting blood to control her fragile psyche.

"You probably think I just want shit I've been denied but that's not what this is... it's fucking more than that." He spoke almost apprehensively. Valentine glanced up at him and saw his awkward eyes and looked away again. He was confessing to having feelings for her? She had assumed Negan wanted her because she refused but now he was inferring he cared in some sick way.

'What the fuck is going on?' She asked herself. When Valentine didn't respond to Negan she heard his sigh again and the sound of him sitting down. Her eyes flitted towards him and saw him sitting behind his desk again. He watched her closely before stating, "I'm pouring my fucking heart out here, the least you could do is fucking talk to me."

Valentine swallowed thickly and shook her head again. She wanted out of the room to get her head on straight. The things he was saying we're confusing her, which made her even more confused. How could she stand there and let him touch her? Why had she allowed it and why was she questioning herself on how she felt about the matter?

Negan growled something under his breath and picked up Lucille, his hands wringing the worn handle. He lay it on his shoulder and spoke sharply, "You can't deny it for-fucking-ever Angel. And just for future reference I'll gut the next motherfucker you're found with. Got it?"

Valentine's eyes narrowed at the threat and pursed her lips. The feminist part of her wanted to claim independence for her choice to fuck whoever she wanted but held her tongue. She didn't need to argue it because truthfully there wasn't anyone on earth she'd go sleep around with. It wasn't something she'd even consider. Although now that it crossed her mind Daryl was attractive in a rough around the edges way. He was nothing like clean cut Paul but had a way about him that was appealing.

'Maybe that's why Negan's pissed off.' She thought wryly. 'Competition.'

"Alright get the fuck out. I'd rather get a blow job if you're going to stand there like a fucking deaf dumb mute." Negan snapped waving a dismissive hand toward the door.

Valentine left instantly and practically ran to her room. She wanted to hide herself away from everyone. It felt like everyone would see her confusion over Negan. They'd look at her and see his handprints on her skin or hear the frightening thoughts in her head.

Once in her room she sat down and scrubbed her face roughly. As if doing so would clear her mind and wash away the strange feelings brewing in her head.

'Jesus Val get your goddamn head on straight.' She growled inwardly before running through all the things he'd done to her. Apparently her warped brain needed a reminder of the brutality Negan had imposed upon her and her loved ones. There shouldn't be any fiber of her being that was ok with nor enjoyed, Negan touching her. She needed to get out of Sanctuary before she lost herself completely. Before whatever was happening got worse and she disappeared forever.

* * *

There were fights being held and for the first time in a very long time Valentine wasn't fighting. She was standing near Negan as ordered, her eyes firmly anywhere but on him. His eyes kept landing on her profile but she refused to meet his gaze. Two men were fighting bare knuckled, both bloodied and raw looking. They circled each other on stumbling feet, both exhausted and injured.

"Come on you fucking pussies!" Negan shouted pointing Lucille at the ring, "Get on with it or I'll send Angel down to take care of both of you useless assholes."

Valentine rolled her shoulders as if putting herself in fight mode. 'Jesus Val you are a monster. All he's got to do is hint at you fighting and you're all blood lusty.' She scolded herself as she watched the two men swing blindly at each other.

"For fucks sakes. This is goddamn boring as shit. I'd rather watch two walkers fuck." Negan grumbled leaning his elbows on the railing.

"Hey Love you wanna go down and clean house?" he asked with a smirk. She actually wanted too so that was why she shook her head. Negan's eyes narrowed and he snarked, "That's a fucking first. Trying to prove me wrong huh?"

Valentine looked away to keep from seeing his amusement. They both knew she was full of shit.

"Fuck off both of you!" Negan hollered pointing his bat to the exit doors. Both men shuffled out, neither arguing about it. Negan looked over and grinned at Valentine, "The next fight will be better Angel. Don't worry." He assured her, an old familiar glint in his eye made Valentine cringe internally. Negan was up to something. She would recognize that maniacal gleam anywhere.

The doors to the large room opened and two more fighters came out and she got a glimpse of why Negan seemed so pleased with himself. Daryl came out with wrapped fists and no weapons. Across from him was a very large man with no shirt on and army fatigue pants. On his chest a large military tattoo and hanging heavily from his muscular neck were his dog tags. He was US army and would have hand-to-hand combat training. She hoped Daryl was as capable as he seemed because his opponent wouldn't go down easily.

Daryl was circling the ring, his eyes trained on the large man in front of him. Keeping his cool Daryl ducked under a huge left hook and spun around him landing a three swift punches to his ribs. Negan was screaming, "Kill him!"

Valentine wasn't sure whom he was rooting for but could take a wild guess and say GI Joe.

The marine kicked a foot out, hitting Daryl's shin with a painful looking sweep. He stumbled forward leaving him helpless to an onslaught of punches and knees as the marine straddled him. Growling Daryl tried to block the heavy fists but only succeeded in having his arms pummeled. Daryl grappled with him, his weight proving too difficult to overcome. Landing a punch to the marine's stomach Daryl rolled slightly allowing him to squeeze away. Blood gushed from his face as he shook off the pain in his leg. The thick crimson liquid dripped from his jaw and onto his leather vest. Wiping his face with the back of his wrapped forearm, Daryl shuffled while shaking his head to clear his eyes. Growling the other fighter stood up and snarled, "I'm gonna rip your fucking heart out."

Daryl sneered at him and rolled his shoulders to prepare for the marines approach, his feet shifting his weight from side to side. They swung at each other but Valentine could tell Daryl's fists wouldn't bring down his opponent. The man's skull looked like it was made of cement and his jaw of iron.

The crowd was jeering and taunting them. Boredom wasn't accepted. "Come on you pussies!" Negan shouted, "Boring as fuck."

The marine charged at Daryl catching him before he could sidestep out of the way. The giant man's shoulder knocked the wind out of him with the powerful hit. Daryl's feet left the ground as the large man picked him up and slammed him against a piece of equipment. Grunting Daryl squirmed against the pressure, his hand clawing at his attacker hands. He swung out his free arm, his fist landing against his attacker.

Snarling at him Daryl lunged forward head-butting the man, an audible crack echoed against the cement walls. The pressure lifted off him allowing Daryl to slide out from his grip. The man's face was gushing blood as he clutched his shattered nose.

"I'm gonna gut you!" the marine shouted running at him at full speed tackling him, both men landing in a pile of limbs. They grappled at each other but Daryl's opponent's hands landed on his neck, squeezing it tightly. Valentine could see Daryl's face turning red as his attacker applied pressure.

Negan hooted, "Oh shit Angel, he might be done-fucking-for!"

Daryl scrambled for leverage, punching his arms and face but couldn't get free. Kicking his legs out, pushing up did nothing to help him. Daryl feet scrapped across the dirt getting no traction on the gritty cement.

'Gonna die Daryl, do something!' She thought angrily, her body tense but calm on the outside. Valentine couldn't show Negan her worry for the man. It would turn into another manipulation opputunity.

The wraps around his hands started to unravel as Daryl frantically tried to free himself. Valentine's worried gaze met Michonne's, she could see rage filling her calculating gaze. Looking back to the floor she watched the bowman struggle.

Grabbing the loosened strips of cloth on his hands Daryl started wrapping it around the marine's neck, yanking it as hard as he could. The man lurched upward as he started to be strangled also.

"Fucking A, redneck's got some fucking moxy." Negan hollered from above, his body hanging out of the balcony as he watched Daryl fight for his life.

The pressure must have let up on his neck because Valentine could hear Daryl sucking air in greedily, his throat rasping while moving with his adversary as he sat up. Daryl scrambled around the other man as he dug at his hands trying to relieve the tightness on his neck but failing.

Daryl managed to crawl behind him, his arms tugging the strips of cloth as tight as he could. Valentine watched as he placed his knee between his opponent's shoulder blades and pulled with all his weight against the cotton around the man's neck, his body arched off the floor. The marine choked and sputtered as he began to asphyxiate, his fingers desperately trying claw the cloth. Daryl was taking in deep breaths getting his strength back as a new surge of adrenaline rushed into his veins. His biceps flexed as he yanked the ties so hard the man no longer made sounds. The only sound Valentine could hear was the whoosh of blood pumping in her ears as she watched Daryl take shuddering gasps inflating his lungs. Feeling the man finally go lax Daryl released the ties and stumbled to his feet before falling to his knees. The bowman placed his fists on the floor next to his knees and panted hard. Negan was thrusting Lucille into the air cheering along with the others. The show had entertained him sufficiently to get past his dislike for Daryl.

Valentine glanced at Rick and Michonne who looked relieved yet still concerned. Daryl had won but no one knew what Negan had planned next. It was a crap shoot on any given day.

"Are you relieved Love?" Negan teased, "You're little friend made it through. Maybe I should let that kid fight or maybe his dad? Maybe you should fight that sword swinging bitch. That'd be hot."

Valentine clenched her jaw shut and kept her eyes on the ring where Daryl still knelt, rubbing blood off his split eyebrow while taking another deep breath. She could make out bruising on his face and around his neck. Sitting back on his heels Daryl tilted his head up to the VIP box, arms trembling at his sides from the exertion.

"Brav-fucking-o Redneck," Negan hollered while clapping slowly, Lucille tucked under his arm. "I got worried there. Thought you were a fucking goner."

Daryl didn't respond only let his eyes fall to the guy he just killed, the corpses hands began to twitch.

"Uh oh. You gotta brain him now or you got a whole other fight on your hands." Negan taunted, leaning over to watch the man turn. Daryl scrambled to his feet and looked around for a weapon, not finding one. Taking a breath he walked to the man's head and looked down at the twitching limbs. Daryl had heavy boots on but Valentine knew crushing a living non-decomposing human head was much hard. She'd done it in the ring before and it took quite a bit of pressure to accomplish.

"Not much time hillbilly." Negan joked, "Wakey Wakey Soldier!"

Bringing his heel up Daryl jammed it over and over on the dead man's temple. He snarled in rage and used all the strength he had left to drive his boot through the man's head. When blood started splashing his legs he stopped, falling backwards onto his ass he sat panting. Valentine's eyes fell to what Daryl just did and felt bile raise seeing the gore covering his boots and the floor. The man's face was caved in and split in half. She closed her eyes tightly and forced herself to swallow the guilt. Negan had Daryl fighting because of her. Because they were seen and because she refused his advances. The blood on his hands might as well have been on hers.

"Holy fuckity fuck! Look at that sick shit!" Negan "Jesus you're a fucking animal!" Daryl was glaring at both of them from his spot on the floor, blood pooling under the man beside him. Valentine looked away feeling just as culpable as Negan. She had done that to Daryl.

He motioned for the bowman to leave, "Go clean up you fucking psycho!" He laughed loudly and shouted, "Someone clean all this shit up, fuck! Even I'm disgusted."

* * *

Valentine knew she shouldn't risk going to Doc's but couldn't stop herself. She went the long way avoiding any prying eyes. Making sure the hallways were empty she slid inside and closed the door with a quiet click.

Daryl and Doc looked up with surprise.

"Shouldn' be here." Daryl rasped, his throat sounding raw from being strangled. Doc was finishing up with his last stitch before stating, "I agree Valentine. If Negan..."

"Fuck Negan." She hissed, Doc hearing her speak for the first time. His eyes got larger than dinner plates. Valentine didn't waste anytime with his surprise, "Step outside Doc. Let me know is someone's coming."

He hesitated but pulled off his gloves and slid out of the door. Daryl cocked an eyebrow and drawled, "Ya ain't afraid he'd gonna run to the asshole?"

"No." she answered shortly, "You alright?"

Daryl looked up from the floor, his blood shot eyes filled with anguish. She narrowed her eyes taking in his condition. He had a large bruise on his cheekbone and a dark ring around his eye. The split by the eyebrow was two inches long and deep. She could see finger shaped bruises on his neck from being strangled.

"Had worse." He rasped looking away from her.

Valentine grunted and shifted her weight from one foot to the other as her eyes flitted over his face. She tried to keep herself numb but anger over Negan's manipulation had her seething, as shame settled like a brick on her gut.

Daryl muttered, "Hey."

Valentine gradually looked at him, her eyes tight. He chewed his bottom lip before saying, "Ain't your fault. This is on him."

She huffed out a breath and looked away, her face almost fracturing. Grinding her teeth and clenching her eyes tightly she took several steadying breaths before opening them again. With her armor back in place she spoke quietly, "Glad you're alright."

Doc stepped back inside and spoke urgently, "I just saw Carson. They're calling everyone to the common room for a penance. He was looking for you, Valentine."

 


	12. Chapter 12

_Paul was on leave when they heard the news of the outbreak and when his superiors ordered him to come help guard the capital he went AWOL. He knew what was happening, was going to turn into worldwide ruin and wasn't leaving his family for strangers._

_"Michael!" Valentine shouted up the stairwell._

_"Coming!" her son shouted while jogging down the stairs. Paul was packing the Jeep as Valentine and their son got the last of the essentials from the house. The plan was to get out of the city and head for the woods. Paul's family had a cabin and if they made it there they could be self-sufficient for quite awhile._

_They both headed into the garage to join her husband when Valentine saw blood on the floor, a steady pool coming out from under the Jeep. Michael gripped onto the back of her shirt. She felt him tremble behind her and squeak out a nervous whimper._

_"Paul?" her voice quivered as she pulled out the handgun he had given her. When he didn't answer Valentine moved them to the passenger door._

_"Get in." She whispered opening the door for her son. When she walked around the back of the vehicle she found Paul yanking their gardening shears out of a man's skull. He looked up with strained eyes and explained, "He kept coming at me. He's one of them."_

_Valentine nodded and stepped forward taking the bloodied tool from him. She tossed it in the trunk space and pulled the machetes off the wall. Paul watched as she put the tools on the back of the Jeep and spoke, "We need to bring anything that will work as a weapon. Save our ammo. Where's that giant crowbar?"_

_Paul shuffled a few boxes and pulled out the heavy metal tool and added it to their arsenal. Michael climbed out of the car and looked at the dead man bleeding on the ground._

_"Mom?" He asked timidly, "was he sick?"_

_"Yeah baby. Get back in the car, were almost done." She instructed her son over her shoulder. When she didn't hear him move she turned to see him chewing on his trembling lip. Kneeling in front of him Valentine spoke firmly, "He was sick and would've hurt us. Your father did it to protect us. You understand?"_

_"Yeah. Just... Will I have to...you know... kill people?" Michael wrung his hands while looking at his father wipe his blood covered hands on a rag._

_Valentine avoided the question and tried to reassure him, "Me and your father will keep you safe Michael."_

_"Even if you have to kill people?" He asked, his wide blue eyes flitting to the spreading pool of blood._

_"Yes, I'll do everything and anything. Don't worry ok. Everything's going to be just fine." She spoke firmly, pulling her son into her arms. "Whatever it takes, I'll do it." she murmured while looking up at Paul._

* * *

Valentine left Doc's and headed towards the common room. As she turned a corner she ran into Rick who seemed to have been waiting for her. He tipped his head to a closet door and slid inside quickly. Once she entered they shut the door and spoke quietly in the dim light from a mini flashlight he carried.

"We're leaving tonight with or without you." Rick spoke firmly, "I know what you've done to save my boy, to save Michonne and I thank you for it but I can't risk them anymore for your plans of revenge. We gotta go tonight."

Daryl had said they wouldn't leave without her but Valentine had doubted Rick would risk his son for some scarred up piece of shit like her. She knew what she had done for Carl or Michonne wouldn't matter, she wasn't one of them and never would be.

Valentine nodded and looked away from the man. He was completely justified. She knew it and even agreed but she wasn't rolling over that easy. If there was one thing living with Negan taught her, it was to not roll over for anyone and keeping herself priority number one.

Valentine glanced back at him and replied, "You won't be able to find the supplies without me." Rick glared and hissed, "Just tell us where they are."

Shaking her head she countered, "I may have helped your boy and your friend but I'm not a complete push over. I saved that shit for myself. If you leave without me, you leave without supplies. I gotta keep it safe for myself to escape."

"Well when's that gonna be? I have people to get back to. A place to keep safe and we've wasted too much fucking time as it is." Rick growled his eyes flashing with anger.

"Has Daryl figured out which guards need to be taken out and when, to escape without notice?" she asked leaning against the metal shelving inside the cramped closet.

"Yeah. He's going to take out the roof spotter on the east wall, Michonne will kill the perimeter guard. That leaves the two outer defense scouts for us to kill once beyond the fences. I'm causing a distraction on the west side." Rick explained before adding, "We can leave without killing him. We will be far enough away that he won't find us. Killing him... it won't bring them back."

Valentine's eyes burned as she chewed her cheek contemplating if she could leave without killing the bastard. Could she give up what she'd be clinging to for so long, the only thing that had kept her going?

She swallowed down her irritation at the idea and gave him a stilted nod, "Fine. Tonight. The escape car is a four hour walk. We should leave ourselves enough night coverage to get there before anyone notices and he sends out scouts. 1 am will probably work."

Rick looked relieved and he moved to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder but she backed away from him. He let it fall to his side and spoke earnestly, "I promise we'll get out of here. He won't find you."

Valentine nodded but didn't speak any further on the matter. She was thinking over her next move. Getting close enough to kill Negan wasn't just going to happen anymore. She didn't have time to wait to get him unguarded and unaware. She would have to make it happen or let it go.

'Survive Val. Survive,' she heard Paul speak as if he were standing in the closet with them. If he knew she threw away a chance to escape for a blood vendetta he'd be so disappointed in her. Valentine could almost see the scowl he'd wear if he heard such a thing.

Swallowing through the nervous knot in her throat she tipped her chin to the door and said, "Gotta go, Carson was looking for me. There's a penance."

"For who?" Rick asked worriedly, his brow furrowed. Valentine shrugged, "No idea. Hopefully not me otherwise leaving tonight is going to be fucking painful. I'll meet you at 1am."

Rick nodded and reassured her, "We'll get out."

Valentine smirked, "Better hope so or he'll slaughter everyone you know and leave you for last. If you're lucky he'll let you join them, if not..." she trailed off and looked down at her scarred hands before slowly raising her eyes back to his. "Meet you at loose panel."

* * *

Valentine approached the common room cautiously since the last time they were called there was her punishment for saving Carl. As she walked in she saw Negan standing in front of everyone, Lucille gripped in one hand and the other fisting Mark's hair. Kneeling on the ground nearby was Negan's wife Amber. Sobbing like a child, her mascara running down her cheeks the woman begged 'please Sir, I'm sorry.'

"Valentine, come up here." Negan hollered giving her tense grin. She swallowed thickly and walked past Rick, Carl and Michonne. She made eye contact with Rick for a moment and all she could read was anxiety. The man was obviously worried the next event of the day would be a penance for her. Hell, Valentine was eighty percent sure she was about to accrue some more scars for God only knows why.

"C'mere Love. Don't be shy." He encouraged while smirking. Valentine wove through the crowd and stood in front of Negan and the kneeling Mark. He had a black eye and busted nose, blood dripped off his chin and onto his bare chest. Negan stuck Lucille towards Valentine and requested, "Here hold Lucille for me."

Valentine looked at it with wide eyes and had to restrain herself from stepping backwards away from him. He thrust it at her further and ticked his chin to it. "Come on. I need both hands for this fucking shit."

Swallowing the lump in her throat she reached out and took his bat, her palms felt filthy just holding it. It was like an anchor in her hands. The deplorable actions committed with it had given Lucille the weight of the world. Valentine tightened her grip, wringing the wood and feeling the groves from Negan's constant grasp. The imprints of his murderous hands twisting and stroking the wood, rubbing the grain smooth. There wasn't a splinter or crack in the wood. It was lovingly maintained. Making eye contact with him, Valentine saw his pupils dilate and lips part slightly. His hooded gaze was hungry as he devoured the image of Valentine holding his Lucille.

"Mother of fucking fuck. You look hot as shit holding her. Jesus. That is my new spank bank deposit." Negan practically groaned, adjusting his jeans.

Valentine couldn't help but glare in return. She changed her grip to hold the vicious weapon in one hand at her side, making it look like more of an inconvenience. Like she was holding a bag of groceries or a dirty sock. Negan didn't deserve some sick fantasy of her holding his blood-stained weapon.

Valentine stared at the blunt ended object, picturing the blood that coated it from her husband and son. She could practically hear the sound of it cracking bones and the wet sound of wood hitting raw meat. Memories of the warm crimson liquid splashing her face and the thick metallic taste in her mouth flooded her senses.

Walking away without killing Negan wasn't possible. She couldn't just let it go, she couldn't just forget and walk away. No matter what Paul would've wanted, no matter what she should do to save her own ass, Valentine couldn't do it. She couldn't forget those images or sounds. Negan had to pay, he had to die for what he'd done.

'No more confusion Val. You hate him. You want to kill him.' She told herself angrily.

Grinding her teeth as tears burned in her eyes she looked up to see Michonne watching her closely. The stoic woman was usually a closed book to outsiders. Not much shone on her face on a given day but in that moment Valentine could read her loud and clear. They held something common, some kind of familiar pain.

She stared at the blunt ended weapon until Negan's loud voice grabbed her attention again, her eyes peeling away from the offensive object in her hand.

"Ok ladies and gentlemen. What we have here is a pair of assholes deviating from the rules. We all know them. We're all required to follow them." Negan spoke while still fisting Mark's hair. Amber was still crying but now wrapped up in a robe while being held by Sherry. Valentine watched the woman stare at the man kneeling by Negan's feet. 'Guess she cheated also,' Valentine thought to herself.

"When I choose a new wife, the process is completely voluntary." Negan explained his eyes landing on Amber who sobbed harder. "It's an honor to be with me, to no longer have to earn points to trade for goods and services." He looked at Valentine and grinned widely.

Valentine clenched her teeth and ranted internally, 'Voluntary my ass. Try blackmailed and threatened. And an honor? What a delusion asshole!'

"It comes at a price of course, TOTAL DEVOTION!" he snarled before lowly his voice and speaking more calmly, "That can sometimes be a hard pill for others to swallow, but swallow it they must." He glared at Amber and then dropped his tight grip on Mark. Negan walked over to Carson who was holding the red-hot iron over a barrel of fire. He slowly pulled on his leather gloves, reaching out for the iron handle and added, "Break these rules and it's the iron for you." He approached Mark and spoke almost remorsefully, "Sorry Mark, it is what it is. Hold him down."

The men held Mark down as Negan pressed the red-hot iron to the side of his face. Valentine ground her teeth and suppressed her urge to throw up at the smell and sound of the torture. The scent of burning flesh tickled her nose and made her gut roil. She heard several people throwing up and others gagging. Valentine kept her eyes averted and toward the ground. Despite everything she had done and seen since the world went to hell, watching a man be disfigured by a hot slab of metal was still nauseating.

When Mark passed out Negan stopped pressing it to his boiling flesh and tossed the iron to the side, skin and gore smoking on hot surface. He began repeating the rules of conduct and threatened to come up with even more punishments for deviations of the rules.

Valentine glanced up to see Rick staring, a look of desperation in his eyes. She gave him a subtle dip of the chin, silently reiterating their plan to leave. He looked relieved and thankful.

"Gimme," Negan spoke breaking Valentine out of her roaming mind. She lifted the bat towards him but for a split second she imagined cleaving the sharply covered smooth wood into his head. Negan smirked at her hesitation to give the weapon up.

"You like her don't you. Next time we're out you can use her."

Valentine loosened her hand making him catch Lucille before she fell to the floor. Negan frowned at her disregard for his precious bat. He opened his mouth to speak when Carson came back into the room. "Got a issue Sir."

"What now goddamnit?" Negan snapped angrily his eyes narrowing and teeth showing.

"P-people... Outside the perimeter." The man stammered, his nerves frayed after holding down a friend to be mutilated.

Negan grunted and ticked his head to the door, "Come on Angel. Let's go be the welcome wagon."

* * *

She swallowed hard and watched Negan interrogating a group of survivors. They had been spotted by the rooftop scouts and were met outside the walls. Most looked like normal survivors but there were a few predators in the group. Negan had honed in on them just like Valentine. It made her cringe, his words repeating in her head, 'Admit it Valentine... We're alike.'

Shaking her head clear, Valentine tuned back into what Negan was threatening.

She leaned against a tree trunk, arms crossed watching Negan walk down the line tapping each person on the shoulder, "Eeny-meaney-miney-moe!" He strolled around continuing with the child's rhyme. "And you are it."

Lucille swung high above his broad shoulder into the man's skull, the blood and brain matter splashed the other group members. He was one of her picks of possible threats. She flinched just the same as the man shook from the brutal hit.

The kneeling hostages shouted and screamed out at the brutality of Negan's actions. Valentine saw Rick pacing near the back of the crowd fighting his desire to help. She understood it, at least she used to but now nothing phased her.

Moving her attention away from him she looked up to see Negan's eyes scanning his men. They land on her and he grinned, "There you are Angel. C'mere."

Valentine walked forward her arms crossed and face resigned. Negan looked her up and down, "Did I tell you how hot you look today?"

She ignored his statement and looked over the remaining survivors. There were two bodies on the forest floor now, the ones who refused to bend to Negan's will. The examples to set the mood. The men left looked at her with worried eyes and tense shoulders. Negan strutted around them before coming up behind her. She felt her back stiffen and the hair on her arms stand on end.

"You see them don't you." He whispered behind her, "The troublemakers."

Valentine rolled her shoulder denying her assessment. Negan spoke over her shoulder, his head cocked to the side to see her, "What do you think? Keep the rest or say fuck it and not risk it?"

Valentine's eyes slid to his and she raised an eyebrow, unsure why he was asking her.

"I mean I could use the bodies. You keep killing all of my men," he quipped with a coy grin. Valentine tried to suppress the smirk at the statement but couldn't. Negan grinned widely, his eyes gleaming, "You're right. Let's keep some for shits and giggles."

Negan started questioning the men for skills and as it turned out they each had abilities that the Sanctuary needed. He finished explaining the rules of the compound and they headed back inside.

* * *

Valentine wandered to the common room knowing it was billiards night. She never went unless instructed to by Negan. He liked showing off his skills on the green felt tables. The Saviors all bet each other rations and better shifts.

She wove through the crowd purposefully passing Negan as he bent over for a shot. She watched out of the corner of her eye to see his head turn as she strode by. Keeping her path she stopped at the bar Negan allowed on billiards night. Valentine never drank but figured if there was any night she needed some libations to calm her nerves, it would be the one.

She held up two fingers after pointing at the whiskey and held the warm glass of amber liquid. Taking a slow breath before she sipped, Valentine leaned on her elbows against the bar. She could feel eyes on her and she just knew they were Negan's. The familiar prickle was between her shoulder blades.

Chewing her lip Valentine took another mouthful before looking to the side to see a set of darkening eyes observing her. Negan smirked and handed his cue to Dwight before sauntering over. He was wearing dark jeans and black t-shirt under the worn black leather jacket. It was one of the few times she'd seen him without Lucille and he was just as intimidating without it.

Swallowing down the golf ball sized lump in her throat, she forced her body to loosen up. Softening her edges and making herself more approachable, Valentine sipped some of her liquid courage.

'You can do this Val.' She gave herself a pep talk as Negan sided up next to her. "Well Love. I don't fucking remember you ever drinking before."

Valentine nodded, sipping again to steel herself for what she was about to do. She reached back into her memories of being a twenty something flirting idiot.

Tilting her head slightly she slid her eyes to his, biting the corner of her bottom lip. Negan's mouth parted and his pupils dilated as her gaze trailed slowly over him before rising back to his face.

Clearing his throat he spoke hoarsely while tipping his chin to her glass, "Want another?" Valentine shook her head, throwing back the last of her drink and setting her glass down. She spun it in between her fingers and felt Negan shift closer before he spoke, "Got something on your mind Love? I'm an excellent fucking listener."

She looked over to find a cheeky grin and a set of twinkling eyes. Valentine paused as her chest clenched anxiously.

Keeping eye contact, she dipped her chin slightly before her gaze flitted away to the exit door. Valentine could hear her heart beat pounding in her skull as she pulled in a nervous breath. Negan cleared his throat awkwardly and spoke low enough for only her to hear, "Was that a yes?"

Valentine fixed him with a pointed look as she backed away from the bar, sliding her way out of the room. She felt him watching the sway of her hips and the curve of her back as she exited.

Once outside she bolted to her room to get a few extra seconds to prepare herself, she knew he'd follow her immediatly. Negan wasn't known for his patience.

Entering her room, Valentine shut the door and sagged into the wood. Taking a few deep calming breaths she raised her walls and prepared for what would be a whole new form of torture. A whole new type of pain. A knock startled her but she shut it down, repeating her life's mantra. 'Survive Val. Survive.'

 


	13. Chapter 13

_Sitting down on the edge of her bed Valentine spoke quietly, "Please forgive me Paul for what I'm about to do. I know I've become something... Something you wouldn't be proud of. I know I've let you down, let Michael down but I want you to know..." She screwed her eyes shut, fisting her hands in the thin blanket below her._

_"I want you to know that everything I'm doing. Everything I've done... It's been for you, for Michael... I'm so sorry baby." Her voice cracked as she bowed her head._

* * *

Opening the door she found Negan leaning against her doorframe, his hands sunk deep into his pockets. His obsidian eyes rose to hers as a boyish smirk curled his lips. Valentine opened the door wider, peeking out to see if anyone was watching while he passed by her.

"So Love, was I right to think you wanted me to follow you?"

Valentine bit her lip and looked away shyly. She felt goose bumps break out as he approached, his wide frame towering over hers.

"This what you want Valentine?" he rasped gravelly.

She swallowed timidly and forced her eyes upwards. His gaze flit over her face and then down her body. She reacted with torn emotions. The adrenaline junkie inside her raged, all wild-eyed and ready for anything. The survivor in her though, the better judge of consequences, was pressing herself into the wall as if trying to disappear. She ground her teeth and chose the junkie.

Valentine reached out and grabbed his belt with her fist, pulling him towards her. Negan let out a surprised breath and chuckled, "What're you doing?" His hand cupped her cheek and tilted her face up, his eyes tracing the curves. With a clattering heart Valentine felt his thumb brush across her bottom lip. "Are you going to fucking talk to me?"

Chewing her lip she shrugged and asked, "What do you want me to say?"

Negan moaned deeply at the sound and tightened his grip on her jaw. "Fuck. You sound fucking hot." He leaned into Valentine's body, his forearms framing her face.

"What changed your mind?" Negan asked as he stroked her neck and collarbone, his calloused fingertips causing shivers through her frame.

Valentine swallowed thickly and lied, "Holding Lucille."

Negan cocked his head to the side his fingers twirling in the curls at the base of her neck. His fingers scratching into her scalp made her gasp. She watched his eyes darken at the sight of her parted lips and hooded gaze. Valentine squashed her nerves and continued, "We're alike. I... I'm tired of pretending. I want it."

Negan hummed at the statement his hand slide down her neck and along her shoulder. He leaned in and nuzzled into her neck. She felt his warm breath against her skin and the slight brush of his lip as he promised, "I'll make you feel so fucking good. Just relax."

Valentine took in a stuttered breath and gave a nod of consent. Her chest ached with revulsion and guilt. She had to do it. It was the only way Valentine could get him less guarded.

Valentine caught herself inhaling his scent deeply before trying to shake herself from whatever sick part of her enjoyed the monster's presence. All she could feel and smell was Negan. Valentine's mind was racing because a frightening part of her, the feral animal inside her was enjoying the adrenaline rushing through her system. The electric thrum of danger sparked her nerves. She looked up with wide eyes and parted lips, tiny pants escaping against Negan's chest.

"You keep looking at me like that I'm going to kiss the ever loving fuck out of you." Negan growled, his hand cupping the side of her neck while his thumb tilted her jaw up higher. "It's what I'm hoping for," she panted, her eyes prickling with hidden emotions.

With an arched neck she watched him consume every inch of her face until slowly lowering his mouth to hers. Gasping into his parted lips allowed Negan to taste her for the first time, his tongue sliding expertly into her mouth. Valentine got lost in the sensations. Her body not caring whom was doing the ministrations only that they continue. It was a feeling she hadn't experienced in so long, a closeness, an affection. She lost complete focus.

He tasted of whiskey and mint, all sweet and spicy. Valentine couldn't swallow down the moan that clawed its way out. It made her chest contract painfully. Shame was inching its way into her darkening heart like a knife blade.

Negan laid his body fully against her, his hand gripping her hip. "Fucking shit Love. You taste fucking amazing." He groaned while rolling his hips into hers. She felt his hardon dig into her stomach and swallowed through her dry throat.

"You too," she rasped as he dug a hand into her curls, pulling her head to the side.

His mouth trailed down her neck, his tongue darting to taste her, teeth scraping against her skin. Valentine panted against his cheek, her neck arched painfully as her eyes blurred.

Her hands dug into his shirt and leather, yanking him closer. She was losing herself completely. Her body was taking over, leaving her mind and heart behind.

His hands dropped to her weapons belt, deft fingers tugging the leather through its buckle. The clatter of her blades falling to the floor made her jump, the noise shattering the buzzing heady atmosphere. Negan chuckled, teasing, "You wound a little tight Angel? I want to make you cum. I want to see you fucking relax for once."

"Bed," she gasped pushing on his chest and shoulders.

Negan pulled back while dragging her with him, toeing off his boots as he went. His hands yanked at her pants as they stumbled, the sound of her zipper was deafening. The rough movement jostled her body, her fingers grasping at his hip and tangling in his t-shirt to keep from falling. Negan groaned at her grip while crouching, sliding his hands to her thighs and hiking her up against him, legs wrapped around his waist.

"Mother of fucking fuck Love." He groaned before ravaging her mouth again. She felt him rutting into her as his hands kneaded her ass.

"Goddamn you feel good." He murmured turning towards the bed, Valentine slung around him. Kneeling on the mattress he lowered her, crawling over her. Negan held himself up with one arm as he hovered above her. "This really fucking happening?"

"Yeah." She gasped while sliding her fingers up his ribs and gripping his shirt.

"It's more than sex with you." Negan blurted out, his voice hoarse. Valentine stared up at him while trying to calm her racing heart. He looked her over and spoke softly, "It's different."

Valentine's heart clenched with guilt and then she sneered inwardly at herself. How could she feel something like guilt over planning the death of the murderer above her? She watched him as he cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing the scar running along it. His mouth pulled into a frown, "I don't like seeing you hurt."

She clenched her eyes shut a moment, a deeply buried part of her ached for him to be someone or something else. The lines had blurred and she couldn't see the forest from the trees. Her focus was lost.

His words swept through and softened the sharp edges she usually had for him. She bit her cheek harshly as if to wake herself up from whatever dark spell the man had over her. Negan had become some kind of sick constant in her life that she needed in order to survive.

'You need me.' His words scrolled through her foggy mind.

Valentine realized they'd been staring at each other for God only knows how long. A deep blushed crawled up her arched neck, painting her cheeks. He shifted on top of her rolling his hips into her, pressing in between her legs. The denim rubbing in spots that made her clench her thighs on his hips.

"Shit." He hissed while grinding into her. "Jesus Love. I need to get these fucking clothes off you. Can I?"

Valentine grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling the cotton off as he yanked her pants down. They grabbed at each other until down to underwear. Negan grabbed her hair, yanking her head back to stretch her neck out. She felt him lick and scrape his teeth up the narrow column while growling, "Fucking fuck. I'm going to do dirty things to you."

Valentine felt her body tremor at the words and the tone. She couldn't wrap her mind around what was happening and the needling of reality was starting to poke and stab her brain.

His hands slide the straps of her bra down, the cups fell exposing her to him. Negan smoothed a hand over the bare skin, brushing his nose along the curve of her chest, "Always wanted to suck on these titties."

His mouth teased the curves of her breast and licked his way to her nipple. Valentine gasped as he sucked hard, his teeth scraping along the sensitive flesh.

"Fucking taste good Angel." He groaned moving his mouth to the other side.

Valentine dug her fingernails into his back, a bone splitting pain fractured her chest. Every second felt like a dagger twisting deeper into her heart. She felt her soul splintering from not only being touched by the man who murdered her family but for her body reacting like some wanton whore.

Negan's mouth started kissing and nipping her stomach and ribs, tracing the scars he'd left on her body. She tremored as adrenaline started pumping into her veins. He smirked against her skin and moved to hover above her.

"C'mere." He whispered hoarsely, pulling her face to his. Negan kissed her, his mouth hungrily moving against hers, tongues curled and stroked. Valentine froze as her mind fought with what was happening, fighting against how good things were feeling. As if being able to read her mind Negan tried to reassure her. "Relax," he murmured against her lips, his teeth nipping them. "It's ok."

His fingers trailed over her stomach to the edge of her panties. Valentine's body was trembling with panic. Negan took her shuddering frame as wanting and began moving with more vigor. His thick fingers dipped under the cotton and rubbed her attentively, before sinking into her.

"Fucking hell, wet for me huh?," he growled.

Valentine jumped at the touch and clenched her eyes as he stroked her.

"Like that Love," he asked his voice rough with lust. Valentine gasped nodding against his shoulder her hands digging into his skin.

'Please.' She begged inwardly. She had no idea what she was begging for. If it were a plea for it to be over or for release Valentine wasn't sure. It crushed her either way. She never begged him before and couldn't begin now.

Negan rutted against her while his fingers curled into her, thrusting . She didn't want to cum. She didn't want to enjoy the event but her body was reacting to the stimulus and she felt her body trembling.

"That's it. Good girl I feel you. Cum for me." He growled his fingers speeding up.

Valentines hips rolled unconsciously and then she was cumming. Her eyes clenched as her muscles clamped onto his fingers. Brilliant sparks fired behind her eyelids as her body tensed and released. Negan groaned his fingers still pumping into her. "Fucking. Fuckity. Fucking. Fuck. Yes." he moaned, warm breath heated her neck as he kissed her salty skin. Valentine was gasping at the realization of what just happened hit her. Her eyes prickled but couldn't let herself cry yet. 'Not yet.' She sneered inwardly.

Negan sat up, yanking her underwear down while pulling his own off. She looked up as he spread her legs and soaked up the sight of her. "Fucking beautiful." He spoke while stroking himself.

'Valentine get your shit together.' She scolded herself, her mind reeling at the situation. Valentine had no idea how she was going to kill him. All of the planning she did went out the window when in the heat of the moment. She was drowning in him. Drowning in whatever sick control he had over her.

His hands gripped her open thighs and yanked her towards him, sinking inside her before she could think of moving. Negan was thrusting deep and fast, his hands squeezing her hips hard enough to bruise.

"Goddamn I love fucking..." He gasped. His hand moved to her jaw, pulling her face to his and attacking her mouth. She kissed him back, trying to let her mind go numb and just react. Soon he was growling even louder, his hips rolling with smooth thrusts. Valentine clenched her eyes and threw her head to the side trying to block everything out since her body was no longer listening to her silent pleas.

"Look at me," he demand loudly, "Love look at me."

Valentine swallowed and turned her face back, her eyes sliding open to see him closer than she thought. Their noses brushed and as his eyes burned into hers. His hand cupped her face as he kept rocking into her spread thighs.

She felt his thumb wiping away wetness below her eye. Negan slowed but didn't stop his rolling into her. He kissed her softer along her jaw and neck before whispering, "Gonna make you cum Love. Relax. Feel how wet you are for me. Jesus."

She screwed her eyes up, a frightening feeling of drowning swallowed her up. Her mind was struggling to break the surface of whatever strange incantation she was suffocating in. She needed to get control. Whoever she was in that moment wasn't her. This fiend she'd become needed to be overpowered.

Valentine pushed him to roll over, climbing on top of him. He moaned as she straddled him, her hips rolling against his. Negan's hands were touching her thighs and hips, smoothing her scarred ribs. She felt his fingertips trace the ruts and ropey scars before moving to cup her breasts, running his thumbs roughly across her nipples.

He moaned as he felt her slid down his dick. Her chest ached painfully as he pushed upwards, his hands holding her narrow waist.

"Fuuuuuucking fuck Love. ." He moaned thrusting hard into her. She tucked her face into his neck trying to block out the person inside her, while her hand slid to grip the edge of the bed.

Valentine needed it to be over, she needed to kill the man under her before her already broken soul was forever destroyed. Utter loathing was choking her, gagging her with disgust.

Negan was thrusting hard and fast, his hands hot against her sweaty skin. "God girl. You make me so fucking hard." He panted against her lips. She kissed him back, trying to let go while her fingertips searched for the familiar cool metal.

Her mind was starting to crack again, her walls chipping. It needed to end now. She attached her mouth to his and rolled her hips. Negan moaned his hands holding her waist as she moved above him.

"Fuck yeah. You look so fucking hot." He groaned his hips thrust off the bed, his head thrown back, eyes slamming shut.

Valentine pulled the recently sharpened blade from the leather sheath tape to the underside of her mattress, sliding the weapon under the spare pillow. She watched him closely to see if he'd noticed the movement but he was soaking up her movements instead.

With her hands on the mattress, Valentine ravaged his mouth, her hips rolling hard and seductively. Her hand slipped further under the pillow, her fist wrapping around the handle, the metal giving her an infinitesimal grain of comfort. Negan was growling as she rolled her hips faster.

"Jesusfuckingchrist," Negan gasped against her lips, his sweet breath ghosting over her face. Sweat dripped down her temple, as a frightening surge of adrenaline rushed through her rapidly beating heart.

Valentine sat up her hand clenching the knife tightly with bleached knuckles and saw his eyes closed as she rode him hard. Bring her hand up quickly she sliced the blade across his neck deep and hard. Blood gushed out at a rapid rate, his hands shot up grabbing her wrist painfully. He tried screaming but his vocal chords were cut. With wide eyes Negan looked shocked at the sudden change in circumstances. Valentine felt an odd sense of guilt wash over her. Apparently getting over his shock Negan's expression went from confusion to raging fury.

He growled at her sitting up while struggling with the blade still tight in her fist. His eyes were on fire as he shoved Valentine off the bed, falling with her. He was on top of her bleeding all over her chest and face, their limbs tangled in sheets. She fought him for the knife, his hand bending her arm towards her face. The tip scratching her cheek, tiny stinging cuts scarred her face. Valentine snarled shoving the blade away as his grip weakened. The blood pouring out was too much and even a man his size couldn't hold out for long.

He threw a punch down at her, clipping her cheek making her grunt. She struggled with the knife while dodging his hits. Negan was gasping and gurgling on top of her but then fell to the side, pulling Valentine with. She straddled him again, his face was going lax, his black eyes watching her widely. He opened his mouth as if to speak but couldn't. Reaching up his fingers stroked her cheek his eyes almost filled with what she would guess as understanding.

Tears leaked down her face, her lungs pulling in jagged gasps. Negan's thumb wiped across her flushed cheek, spreading tears and blood across her face. Closing her eyes, Valentine swallowed a sob as an emotion frighteningly like regret flooded her hollowed chest.

Suddenly her throat was being gripped, Negan large hand cutting off her air. Her eyes popped open to find Negan's sneering at her, his urge to get revenge overpowering whatever clemency he had allowed her moments before. Yanking away from his weakening grip Valentine clenched the blade in her aching palm.

Bringing both her hands up she began plunging the blade into his chest until her arms shook violently. She bite her lip until it was bleeding to hold in the frantic screams and sobs trying to tear their way out. With one last thrust she brought it down hard into his temple.

Valentine sat there looking down, tears streaming down her face before pressing her forehead onto his. Clenching her eyes shut she felt sorrow wash over her while confusion clouded her mind. Valentine had no idea who or what she was any longer. She was adrift at sea with no shore in sight.

Falling back on her ass she looked at the aftermath of her gruesome act. The man who'd tormented her lay mutilated. Valentine had finally done what she had sworn she would do and yet she felt nothing but soul loathing sadness.

She wiped her face, the hand coming back just as bloody. Standing on shaking legs Valentine threw a blanket over Negan's corpse and shoved him under the bed for reasons beyond her. She just couldn't look at it any longer.

Taking the other sheet she wiped herself down and looked into the mirror. Her hair was very bloody as was her face and chest. She used a bottle of water to rinse off before pulling her hair into a tight ponytail, tucking the shock of pinkish blonde under a beanie. After putting on blood free clothes she looked herself over and felt she could pass as normal.

Looking at her watch she saw she was running ten minutes late, her heart lurching at the idea of having missed her chance. There was no telling what would happen if anyone found out she had murdered Negan.

Sliding out the door she locked it and moved quickly through the hallways. She ran down the empty staircase and headed into the yard. As Valentine turned a corner she slammed into a tall figure. Looking up she met Dwight's furrowed brow and scowl.

"What the hell are you doing? What happen to you?" He asked looking at the fresh cuts and poorly cleaned up blood.

Valentine pulled out her machete and growled, "Step aside Dwight."

He looked at her with wide eyes and he asked, "What's going on?"

"Please. Please" she begged her voice cracking, "Let me pass. Please."

He looked even more shocked at her words and tone, stepping aside he spoke worriedly, "If he catches you, you're dead."

"He won't." She assured firmly skirting around him and running full speed without a glance back. Valentine skidded around the tiny building hiding the group's exit to find Daryl waiting for her. The others had left and he had waited behind. His eyes widened at her appearance and he opened his mouth to inquire what happen.

"No time. Go." She hissed pushing him to the fence. The pair squeezed out and they began running past the chained walkers and random broken vehicles.

She felt Daryl glancing at her periodically but kept her eyes forward and on their sides for threats.

"Meetin' em up this way at the coffee shop in town." He drawled as they dodged a group of biters.

Valentine nodded but kept her focus of defending them while moving at night and pacing her breath to keep from passing out. Everything that had happened in the last few hours was smothering her and she had miles to go before she could allow her mind to collapse in on itself.

* * *

After an hour of running they found Rick, Carl and Michonne holding up in the one time popular chain coffee shop. Rick stood with his revolver up until he saw their familiar shapes. All three of them looked at her with shock, Michonne and Rick seemed to instantly understand why she had been late.

"Are you ok?" Rick asked coming closer to see her injuries. Valentine backed up, swallowed thickly and nodded, not trusting her voice to hold strong. Pulling out her map she showed the others the spot her stash was hidden. They had another two hours before they'd reach it. They drank some water before heading out to find their escape vehicle.

Michonne jogged next to Valentine as if knowing exactly what she'd done to show up in such a state. Valentine felt filthy and revolting. She wondered if they could see his handprints all over her body, if there were signs of his mouth and tongue marring her lips. Could they read her mind and hear the revolting thoughts in her head? Could they see the regret drowning her?

Valentine could smell him on her, taste him in her mouth. She was truly a monster now. Everything she had been, was gone. Nothing and no one could ever bring her back from that horrible moment in time. Nothing would ever be the same. Nothing could ever redeem her from her actions.

'You're dead Valentine. You're nothing. You're no one.' She resigned inwardly.

* * *

They ran for hours and finally found themselves at the house with her stash at sunrise. They climbed into the car while Daryl opened the garage by hand. Once on the road they sped south pushing further away from the hellhole she had called home for far too long.

Valentine could tell the others knew what she did without asking out right. She wished no one knew but it was impossible not to notice the shell-shocked expression on her face and skin splashed with blood.

The trunk was filled with gas canisters saving them time from stopping to find gas to siphon. They drove all day until they approached a town with a few hidden cabins throughout the woods. They decided to stay for the evening and scavenge in the morning. Climbing out of the car they all groaned in unison while stretching their legs and arms. Valentine felt especially sore. Her body took a few good hits while wrestling for the knife.

She entered the house and yanked off her beanie, her hair still matted red with blood despite the rinse she did. Looking at her hands she could see dried blood caked under her nails and in the creases of her palms.

Michonne watched her critically and suggested, "Lets get you cleaned up, we have the water."

Valentine swallowed thickly feeling everything hit her hard. Nodding she followed Michonne into the bathroom. Valentine was so out of it Michonne had to help her get undressed. They both began to see the bruises on her hips and waist from Negan's large hands.

"Are you ok?" Michonne asked quietly wetting a cloth for her to use. Valentine looked up and felt a lump expand in her throat. She couldn't breathe as panic flooded her eyes with tears. Shaking her head slowly Valentine finally shattered. Everything hit her hard enough to knock the air out of her lungs. Sobbing hard enough to start dry heaving Valentine felt Michonne hold her hair back as she emptied stomach acid and bile into the toilet.

After heaving one last time, Valentine laid her forehead against the cool porcelain, Michonne crouch next to her, her hand resting on her lower back.

"Did you kill him?" Michonne spoke tentatively as if knowing the razors edge Valentine was perched on. Nodding she whispered, "Yeah."

Valentine choked on another sob, a heavy weight of something similar to grief sat on her chest. She couldn't possibly admit to having such a feeling to the woman in front of her. No one would ever understand her confusion over the man she killed. Hell Valentine didn't even understand.

"You're gonna be ok. It's over." Michonne tried to soothe her, "He's dead and never touching you again. He's never gonna hurt another person because of you. You did good."

Valentine's breathing was slowing but tears still rolled down her face silently. Nothing would make the memories of his hands on her or the fact her body betrayed her by enjoying it, go away. She felt another wave of nausea at the thought of cumming by his touch. Michonne helped her wash the blood out of her hair and cleaned the scratches on her cheek.

"He got a couple hits in, you've got a bruise on your cheek."

Valentine nodded, "Yeah I cut him while... on t-top but he still fought. Tackled me and swung a bunch but then he bled out."

Michonne nodded thoughtfully but didn't speak any further. Valentine got dressed and they headed out into the living room. The men looked up when they entered and Valentine could see them looking at her nervously. Carl spoke up first, "Are you ok?"

"Not in the least," she spoke honestly, plopping down in an armchair. They all looked at her for moment and Carl asked, "Are you going to talk to us now?"

"Yeah." She spoke tiredly, leaning her head back while scrubbing her face.

Michonne heated cans of beans up and handed them out to share. Valentine shook her head at the offer but the woman stubbornly held it towards her until Valentine grudgingly took it.

"Just don't get mad when I throw it all up." Valentine grumbled, spooning in a mouthful in.

"Are you sick?" Carl asked around a mouthful of beans.

"Carl stop," Rick, scolded quickly.

Valentine chewed her cheek and muttered, "Yeah kid. Its not contagious though so don't worry." She kept her head down, refusing to look anyone in the eye and ate half the can before handing it to Michonne. Standing up she went outside for some air. Pacing around the porch she listened to the surrounding forest. The door opened and Daryl squeezed out to join her. He lit up a smoke and grunted, "Want one?"

She looked at it and nodded, accepting the cigarette and the lit. Taking a deep drag Valentine closed her eyes feeling the old familiar burn. She'd quit years ago when she got pregnant with her son. Tears prickled her eyes at the thought as she exhaled shakily. Turning away Valentine kept her back to Daryl as she wiped her face.

"Ya wanna be alone?" he rasped from behind her.

Valentine sniffed softly and cleared her throat, "Nah. I'm fine." After a moment of awkward silence Daryl spoke quietly. "Ya ain't fine but you will be." He drawled making her look over at him. She watched him look over her appearance, his narrowed eyes focusing on the bruises on her face. "He hurt ya?"

Valentine smiled sadly and rasped, "No. I think I hurt myself more this time."

Daryl chewed his lip, his eyes flitting away from her before returning almost instantly and speaking gruffly, "m'sorry."

"It's fine. Prefer to never speak about it again... ever." She strangled out, her eyes burning painfully.

Daryl grunted with a nod and looked into the trees while biting his thumb. They stood in silence both taking watch until the sun rose.

* * *

The next morning they drove further away from the horrors they left behind. Valentine fell asleep finally in the car, her head resting against the glass. She slept comfortably until the nightmares started. She struggled on a good night to rest from all the things she'd already experienced. Now that she had a new level of twisted memories her brain was flooded with horrible images. In this particular dream Negan bent her over a table while her husband and Daryl watched. They both were scowling in disgust while Negan laughed. She clawed at him trying to stop his body from rutting into her but nothing worked. Screaming for him to stop, he held her down.

"Valentine wake up!" Rick was shouting. She blinked her eyes rapidly her pulse racing so hard she felt like her heart would explode.

"Stop the car" she shouted and when it didn't stop soon enough she screamed, "Stop the fucking car!"

They screeched to a stop, everyone lurching forward. Valentine flung the door open falling to her knees as she emptied her stomach painfully to the dirt road. She heaved up dinner and stomach acid. Her eyes burned with tears as the images from her dream flooded her mind. A hand on her back made her jump away, falling to her side. Rick held up a hand and drawled, "Just me. You're ok."

She shook her head violently and whispered, "No... I'm not. I... I'm not."

He nodded and scrubbed his face staying crouched next her in the road. Michonne got out and kept watch as Valentine tried to get her shit together. Rick handed her water and a rag to wipe her face down. He watched her carefully and rasped, "You will be ok. It'll take time but you're strong. Stronger than anyone I know. You'll be ok."

"Rick..." She paused looking at the open car door seeing Carl listen to her speak. She shook her head and looked away into the woods. It wasn't the time, there were a few walkers coming their way. Valentine sniffed and climbed to her feet before mumbling, "Let's go."

She slid into the passenger seat while Michonne climbed in back with Rick and Carl. Daryl watched her out of the corner of his eye as he drove them to an unknown destination.

"Where are we going?" She asked finally realizing she never questioned their plan.

"Far away from that shithole and toward the last place we saw our family." Daryl responded quietly when seeing the three sleeping in the back. She nodded and asked, "Where's that?"

"A prison in Georgia."

 


	14. Chapter 14

"Where's that?"

"A prison in Georgia." Daryl responded swerving around a group of dead ones shuffling in the road. Humming at the knowledge Valentine spoke quietly, "Guess that makes sense. Good security fences and stuff"

"Yeah. It's pretty secure. Had troubles but nothing we couldn't handle. Just hope everybody's ok. We were gone a couple weeks. That's like a year now." Daryl rasped, his eyes jumping from the back seat to the road stretched out in front of them.

"How'd you end up in Sanctuary anyways? Pretty far trip from home." She asked looking at him for the first time for longer than a split second. Back in Sanctuary she kept her eyes off others for fear of drawing attention from Negan. She watched him resting his elbow on the door, while gnawing on his thumb. He looked comfortable, nothing like the understandably tense man inside Negan's walls. His brown hair was shaggy and dirty, tucked haphazardly behind his ear and hanging in his eyes. The bruising from the fight he was in just the day before was dark and purple. He had sparse facial hair except for the goatee, which was speckled with gray. The man had a habit of chewing his lip and thumb. She guessed him to be in his late thirties yet still youthful. He was muscular, his arms obviously sculpted from constant use of the crossbow. Valentine flit her eyes away as she realized she been analyzing him for far too long to be considered polite.

"We went on a run. Was gonna be a couple days. Rick hadn't been goin' out much, he works the farm most days. Anyways Carl'd been on him bout goin' out so he thought, hey I'll take Dixon and Michonne, what could go wrong?" He chuckled dryly and continued, "First it was a herd that made us push north, then we ran into some... undesirables. Had to go even further. Then another herd and then we got caught up runnin' from Negan's men. They were out on some long scavenge and took us back."

Valentine nodded and spoke nervously, "Yeah I... I uh had a few of those runs... brought people back." She looked away feeling guilty for being part of bringing people to the house of horrors. Even guiltier knowing she'd killed several in the rings or watched Negan kill them. She'd brought people in to be executed. People just trying to survive. People like Daryl, Rick and Michonne.

"Hey." He drawled seemingly noticing Valentine drowning in guilt. "Ain't your fault."

Valentine huffed out an irritated breath and grumbled, "Yeah it is. Could've chosen not too."

"What and end up dead? Nah. Weren't nothin' ya coulda done." He rasped his narrowed eyes looking sincere.

Valentine only nodded and looked at the forest fly by. She picked at the holes in her jeans and chewed her lip as a strange sense of anxiety hit her. Her whole existence had been Sanctuary and Negan for so long that she was feeling at a loss. There was a strange aching in her chest that felt frighteningly like homesickness. Or at least an ache for the familiar.

"Ya have bad dreams a lot?" Daryl asked breaking the silence.

She snorted and muttered, "Life's a fucking bad dream."

He grunted in response and went back to driving. They traveled through deep woods and tiny towns on their way to what the group called home. Soon Daryl was recognizing the areas close to the prison. He woke the others who looked excited to finally see their home turf. Carl was chatting in the back about the others in the prison. He was asking Rick what they might have thought about their disappearance and what they might have missed while gone. She heard them talking about someone named Judith but wasn't paying attention. She was consumed with worry as they got closer. Valentine's nerves got the better of her and she finally blurted out, "Is it ok to bring me back?"

"Of course," Rick reassured her immediately, "Ya saved our lives for one and two Daryl's on the council."

Daryl huffed, "Rick you're still the fuckin' leader. Ya know that."

Rick ignored the statement and patted Valentine on the shoulder, "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

Valentine nodded and chewed her lip, her leg bouncing faster the closer they got to their destination. The last time she entered a survivor's camp she met Negan and lost everything she had and everything she was. She trusted that they weren't a group like Negan but that was about it. Valentine didn't know them and she was going into an unknown camp with unknown number of people. All of who would be loyal and welcoming to familiar faces, not hers. She was an outsider, which made her expendable.

"Ya a'right?" Daryl murmured with calculating narrowed eyes, his gaze jumping from her nervous leg and white knuckled grip on the door handle.

Her dry throat bobbed nervously and she nodded croaking out, "Peachy."

His lips twitched and he grunted, "Bullshit." Rolling her eyes she watched the front window as they travelled around a bend. They pulled up a long dirt road and soon the shape of a giant cement building appeared jutting out of the surrounding forests. There were double fenced in yards with what looked like a substantial plot of farmland. The guard towers stood higher giving them perfect views of the perimeters.

She skimmed the grounds and started counting heads as if on a scouting run with Negan. It made her cringe to think of what she normally would've been doing. Being light on her feet, she would accompany Dwight to scout numbers, weapons and supplies. She'd pick out who would fight and who would bow to Negan.

'If they knew half of the things you did they'd put you down now Val.' She told herself while watching Daryl open his window, waving at a young woman with short brown hair. She looked ecstatic and surprised. The woman was shouting for others higher in the yard as she ran down the stairs inside the guard tower.

Soon the gate opened and Daryl pulled into the safety of the yard. Everyone was hugging and crying seeing their lost loved ones. Valentine hung back, shifting her feet nervously and watched them finally see the people they called family.

"Everybody this is Valentine. She helped us get home." Rick spoke while motioning to her with one hand as his other arm held a baby. Valentine hadn't seen a baby since the turn. She looked at the infant with tufts brown hair as she gripped her dad's beard.

Valentine's chest clenched so tightly she gasped. Looking away she cleared her throat and spoke without making eye contact, "Val... Most people call me Val."

Michonne nodded and offered, "Come on in Val let's get you a room and food before we started introducing you to everybody." She gave Valentine an understanding head bob as if knowing Valentine was overwhelmed.

The others peppered them with questions while Valentine walked with Michonne. She felt everybody looking at her curiously. A few eyed her large machetes while whispering, their eyes stopping at the visible scars on her face and neck.

'Haven't seen nothing yet,' she thought wryly while climbing the stairs into the prison.

Michonne got Valentine a cell next to hers and some bedding while the others spoke in what looked like a common room.

"There are two cellblocks we live in. This one is for the original group. The other houses people from Woodbury. That's a-whole-nother story but you'll stay in here with us."

Valentine shook her head, "You don't have to break the rules for me."

"No rules just kinda how it worked out. We want you here." She spoke firmly and added, "We have showers if you'd like to take one. I wanna wash up so I can show your where it is and everything."

She nodded and grabbed her spare clothing and toiletries. They walked through a couple hallways and ended up in a large bathroom with clear plastic curtains hung as stalls. She eyed them apprehensively while looking around for other people. Michonne saw her and offered, "I can lock the door so we don't have any visitors."

Valentine nodded gratefully, "I don't think I want to explain myself just yet."

Michonne smiled sadly and reassured, "You don't have to and even if they see them, just means you're a tough bitch." She gave Valentine a grin that told her she was teasing.

Valentine snorted and replied, "I don't know about that. Don't feel very strong right now."

"If you ever want to talk..." Michonne offers, her voice trailing off. Valentine nodded and chewed her lip stuffing down the sick churning in her gut. She clenched her eyes shut a moment to quell the tears and whispered, "Maybe yeah... Just not yet. I gotta get my head on straight."

Michonne nodded before showing her how to pump the water, "Just hit this and you'll have cold water. You'll have to pump it once it runs out."

Valentine pulled off her sweaty dirty clothing and scrubbed herself down with her soap and washcloth. Someone knocked on the door, which Michonne hollered, "ocupado!"

They knocked again which made Michonne growl, muttering curse words under her breath. She grabbed a towel and opened the door a crack and informed them, "You'll have to wait."

"I've seen it all Michonne," a female voice joked but Michonne growled, "I don't care. We'll be done in a bit. Go visit with Daryl."

She shut and locked the door before wandering back to her shower. "That was Carol. She's like the prison den mother. She's also a strong bitch."

"Seems like this groups got a lot of strong bitches." Valentine quipped with a smirk. Michonne laughed, "Suppose you're right."

Both woman got washed up and Valentine could feel the other woman's eyes on her occasionally. She didn't comment figuring her appearance was shocking enough to gain stares. Valentine was just thankful the woman wasn't the type to want details of how she received each of them. Drying off quickly she exited the curtain and pulled on clothing. She had her back to Michonne and could feel her eyes. Looking over her shoulder she saw the woman glaring at her scarred back. Seeing a question coming, Valentine sighed realizing her hopes of getting away without talking about them was false.

"How many times did he do that to you?" She asked tensely. Valentine pulled her shirt on and mumbled, "Eight."

Michonne shook her head and crossed her arms tightly, her hands clutching her arms she muttered "Fucking bastard."

Valentine nodded but didn't make any comment on the matter. He was a fucking bastard. She may have been confused about some of her feelings towards the man but there was no confusion with that knowledge. Michonne didn't question her anymore which let Valentine relax a bit before they finally exited the shower room.

Valentine put all her stuff in her cell and wandered toward the common room with Michonne. She saw Rick speaking to an older gentleman with a long white beard and an Asian man.

"Hey Val c'mere." Rick motioned with his hand, giving her a friendly smile. She wove through the tables as a few sets of eyes followed, setting her on edge. She was so used to the disgusting leers of the men at Sanctuary that she felt her hackles raise. If it were a normal day she'd end up punching at least one of them in the face for touching her. Rick seemed to notice her anxiety and motioned for them to step outside.

"I just wanted to introduce you to Hershel, he's Maggie and Beth's father. This is Glenn, Maggie's husband. Maggie was in the tower when we pulled up."

Valentine cleared her throat, "Nice to meet you."

Hershel shook her hand, both his warm hands cupping hers. "Thank you for getting them home. They've told us a little bit about the place they were at... I can't thank you enough. We were lost without them."

Glenn smiled kindly and shook her hand also mumbling a hello. She chewed her cheek and listened to them recap everything they'd done and been through since Rick's disappearance. She found out that the baby was Judith and she'd started teething. Hershel was their resident doctor and he'd been teaching first aid to a few others while they were away. He spoke of taking care of the fields while Rick was gone and mentioned the few additions security measures they'd taken.

Valentine eventually stopped listening and let her eyes trail over their surroundings. She saw different crops growing and what looked to be an animal pen. There were people walking around doing laundry and other tasks. She saw people killing walkers along the fences.

Everything seemed so… normal and the people moved as if not in fear of making one wrong step. She didn't see the usual hunched shoulders or darting eyes looking for the man in charge. The dead pressed against the fence were being disposed of, not strung up like snarling sentinels. She'd become so accustomed to the constant drone of dead that the prison yard seemed deafeningly quiet.

A sudden hand landed on her shoulder making her jump. Valentine grabbed the wrist tightly, twisting the arm away and back.

"Ow fuck." Glenn shouted out, his face pained from the sharp grasp.

Valentine dropped her tight grip instantly and backed away her hands up to show she wasn't going to harm him anymore. She stammered, "Sorry. Sorry. I'm... I."

"It's ok." Glenn mumbled looking at her nervously, his eyes jumping over her hands and then to her weapons. Rick stepped in front of Glenn, putting his hands up and apologized, "Sorry Val. He was trying to get your attention. Dinners ready."

She swallowed thickly and felt her adrenaline pumping. Her chest was constricting as she fought her urge to draw her weapon and threaten them both, "Sorry. I'm still... there." Valentine's eyes widened and muscles tensed as a familiar fear of being punished for her actions filled her.

Rick nodded, his eyes looking her over worriedly and suggested, "Take a walk with me for a minute."

Valentine bit her lip harshly until she tasted blood. The metallic taste coating her tongue calmed her nerves. She was used to blood, it was familiar and warming.

Valentine walked next to Rick while scolding herself inwardly, 'Great Val. Break a guy's arm on your first day. Real charming. Bet they trust you now dumbass.'

Rick was looking over the perimeter fence quietly. She waited for him to tell her to leave but instead he reassured her, "You're safe here. There aren't any men like at that place. We don't let people like that in."

She nodded, flexed her hands to relieve the tension they were filled with, "Rick, I'm sorry I just..."

"Nothing to be sorry for. He touched you and it's reflex to defend yourself." Rick spoke evenly and gave her understanding eyes. She couldn't keep eye contact with him. His blue eyes looked too much like Paul's in that moment. His calming tone and genuinely concerned expression had her on edge for some reason.

Valentine swallowed the lump developing in her throat, "I'll try to relax. It might take awhile... It'd be better if people didn't touch me. I don't want to be a weirdo but after everything... I'm not.. normal anymore."

Rick scowled at the comment and rasped, "Maybe not now but you can be. What happened there won't happen here and you won't ever have to do what you were forced to do there. Michonne told me about…."

"Don't… please." she spoke sharply before looking away to keep her eyes from overflowing again. Rick shifted to catch her eyes and looked torn with wanting to comfort her without freaking her out.

"What you did for Carl, for Michonne…. I'll never be able to thank ya enough... I'd hug you but I figure that's not going to help." He spoke with a sad smile. Valentine nodded and wiped her face of the freshly fallen tears. "No it probably won't."

They walked the rest of the perimeter and ended up at the courtyard. Daryl was sitting on top of a picnic table, his feet on the bench, smoking a cigarette as they walked up. He jutted his chin in greeting and drawled, "Everybody's lookin' for ya."

Rick bobbed his head, turning to Valentine asking, "You comin' in for dinner?"

She chewed her lip and glanced at the door with weary eyes before looking down muttering "Um yeah.. I can."

They walked inside and saw everyone eating and chatting pleasantly. Daryl followed her to the table to grab a bowl of food and gestured for her to sit at a bench along the wall. He sat with her but a couple feet away giving her space. She gave him a small smile of gratitude before digging into the stew that someone had cooked. It was hearty, filled with vegetables they must've grown and what looked like rabbit.

Soon everyone began asking more questions about where they were, what they'd done and if we needed to worry about this dangerous group they'd escaped. Valentine squirmed in her seat as eyes fell on her at descriptions of the place they came from. Some were looking at her with sympathy others seemed suspicious.

"How do we know she isn't leading them here?" A man asked looking at her with hard eyes. Valentine narrowed hers in return and felt her hair trigger temper flare.

"She saved our lives several times over without even knowing us. She helped us escape. I trust her completely." Rick responded confidently, his tone suggesting no one should question him. Valentine didn't get the same chill up her spine like Negan would've provoked. It was more of a reassuring statement than a demand of obedience.

"Still could be a trap." The guy muttered, his untrusting eyes scanning over her.

Valentine ground her teeth angrily while glaring at the food in her bowl. She didn't blame them in the least for not trusting her but that didn't mean it didn't piss her off.

Daryl grunted, "Hey." She looked up and saw him shake his head, "Don't listen to him. He's a fuckin' pussy. Don' leave the fences and don' know shit about shit."

Valentine let his words calm her and shook her head sadly, "I'm going to have to get a hold of my temper. Had to use it so much there it's hard to reign it in."

Tuning back into the conversation she heard Carl say, "Hey! You weren't there and we were. Val proved herself as one of us. So shut your goddamn mouth."

"Carl!" Rick exclaimed but had a smile hidden behind his hand. Valentine snorted in amusement and shoved another bite of food in her mouth. Her memories of her own son cussing at a family reunion and the shocked faces of the older folks as he spoke about his cousin, exclaiming,  _"Mom, Danny's being an asshole!"_

"What're you laughing at?" The guy snapped his chest puffed up. Valentine raised an eyebrow and looked his scrawny arms and terrible posture. She could snap him in two if she wanted to. Valentine cleared her throat and answered, "Carl's a funny kid, what can I say?"

* * *

The cellblock was dead silent except for the occasional snore and shifting of mattress springs. Valentine thought over the night and all the people she'd been introduced to as well as the personal tidbits Carl had provided.

There was Tyreese and Sasha who were brother and sister. The large black man put Valentine on edge until he spoke to her. She could see he was more of gentle giant than threat. His sister was more reserved but polite just the same. Beth was Maggie's sister and she took care of Judith most of the time. She also noticed she wrangled the other children in the prison. Valentine wasn't sure how many children there were but more than she'd ever seen since the turn.

Carol was in charge of cooking it seemed as well as managing the households tasks. Valentine noticed her speaking with Daryl and the comfortable atmosphere between them. She hypothesized that they were a couple but was unsure if they were officially together. Maggie and Glenn were obviously recently married if how affectionate they were was a sign. She caught them on numerous occasions kissing or cuddling. It screamed newlywed.

There were many other people she had been introduced to but most of their names were forgotten seconds later. Valentine was so used to people dying frequently, at least in the Sanctuary, that it usually took a few weeks for her to even bother learning names. She wasn't sure if it would be the same at the prison or if they had a better track record for surviving since they didn't go looking for trouble like Negan.

The sound of footsteps had Valentine sitting up with a knife in her hand so fast she hadn't realized she was moving. Standing up Valentine peeked out of her cell door to see Daryl walking up the staircase. His head was bowed as he walked, his crossbow sticking up over his shoulder. As he got to the top his eyes raised and connected with hers, surprise showing at the sight of her.

"Ya aright?" he asked walking silently towards her. Valentine nodded and whispered, "Can't sleep, heard footsteps."

Nodding he rasped, "Just came off watch."

Valentine hummed and asked, "How do I get shifts?"

"We're havin' a council meeting tomorrow. Usually get the schedules worked out then." He answered leaning against the metal railing before adding, "Runnin' low on supplies since we never made it back. Would ya wanna go?"

"Yeah." She responded quickly, the desire to get outside the fences hitting her hard. Daryl's eyes narrowed slightly as if reading her mind, "Ya itchin' to leave already?"

Valentine sighed and scrubbed the back of her neck, "I don't know. Everythings… different. I just need time to adjust I think."

His grunted and offered, "I go huntin' a lot… if ya ever wanna go. If your quiet that is."

Valentine chuckled quietly and assured him, "I'm quiet. Let me know when you go."

Daryl agreed and then head to bed after a quick 'g'nite.'

She sat heavily on her bunk and twirled the knife blade in her hand, her nerves still running rampant. In Sanctuary she had a room, a tiny room but just the same she had a small amount of privacy. The open cell door was disconcerting. She couldn't relax knowing someone could walk in or what was almost worse, watch her sleep.

Her leg was bouncing and she was staring out into the cellblock wondering how long she would be able to stay. She wasn't sure but there was a large part of her that felt like being alone would be best for her. It was almost if she had been a caged animal and now that she was free the idea of living behind another set of fences wasn't appealing.

Standing up she paced the small space, her boot clad feet padding along quietly. Her hand tapped randomly on her machete hilt as she tugged her hair out of her face.

'Fuck it,' she thought striding out of her cell and down the staircase. She exited the prison quickly, her frame sliding into the shadows outside. Taking in deep mouthfuls she wandered into the courtyard to lean against a wall. She place her sweaty forhead against the cool brick and clenched her eyes shut.

Focusing on her breathing she listened to the night behind her. She could hear the moans of walkers and felt a release of tension. The snarls and groans of the undead had relaxed her. Turning around she looked out beyond the fields at the dark fence line and writhing bodies. She felt disgusted by the idea that she was soothed by the snarls of monsters.

'You're a monster just like him.' She sneered inwardly as she walked into the tall grasses towards the only thing that felt right to her.

Valentine reached the interior fence and stared at the corpses pressed against the exterior wires. She sensed eyes on her and glanced up to the guard tower. Maggie and Glenn were watching her from their scouting spots. She couldn't see them clearly but could guess they were looking at her with suspicious eyes.

Valentine chewed her lip and gripped the wire fence in front of her while pressing her forehead into the biting metal. She watched the dead ones snarl and clutch the wires, all desperate eyes and growling stomachs. Taking a deep breath she smelled their rot and the pine forest beyond.

Standing there by herself, surrounded by woods and the rotting undead felt natural. She felt at home.

'I can't stay here,' she thought quite clearly, her shoulders dropping at the realization how accurate the thought was. Valentine wasn't made for that type of living. Not inside fences with real people. Normal people. Children.

Nodding to herself Valentine turned and head up to the prison with a decision made.

She'd leave at daybreak.


	15. Chapter 15

Packing her bag took seconds having only a change of clothing and a few odds and ends. Valentine didn't have much food but wouldn't take anything from the prison supplies. She would find what she needed eventually. Without much of a plan she started thinking of where she wanted to go, her only decision was whatever the opposite direction from the Sanctuary was.

Sitting in her bunk Valentine watched the sky lightening to a pale orange and bounced her leg anxiously. She didn't want to just leave without saying goodbye, especially to Carl but knew they'd feel obligated to talk her into staying. Valentine knew Rick felt he owed her and would push for her to stay because of it. She didn't need to be paid back though, Valentine needed... Hell she didn't know what she needed but whatever it was it wasn't gratitude. She didn't deserve that.

Shrugging on her pack Valentine swept her eyes over the cell for any missed items before leaving her cell on light feet. Slipping down the stairs she exited the cellblock and was opening the door leading into the courtyard when a voice called, "Val?"

Turning around she saw Carl standing there with rumpled hair and wrinkled clothing. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes lazily and asked, "Where ya goin'?"

Valentine rolled her lip between her teeth before she muttered, "Gotta go kid."

Carl's eyebrows shot up and he rushed forward exclaiming, "You can't go!"

Sighing Valentine adjusted her bag's straps to keep her eyes away from his. "I need to go Carl. I appreciate your guys help but... I need to go."

The lanky teen came closer and crossed his arms demanding, "Why? Why do you gotta go? And where are you going?"

"I just... I just need to go Carl ok and... I don't know. I fucking.. I just gotta go." She struggled to give him something resembling a plan but floundered. Raising an eyebrow much like his dad, Carl suggested, "Maybe you should stay until you know where you're goin'?" Shaking her head Valentine looked at the exit door and muttered, "No reason to wait. I don't... belong."

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not an answer. Why?" He repeated, his head tilted slightly as if encouraging her to talk. Valentine twisted her lips angrily and cursed the kid for being so damn persistent. 'Michael would be the same way if he were here,' She thought painfully. Her chest constricted at the thought making her eyes prickle. Biting the inside of her cheek Valentine looked away from the one person who could probably change her mind. 'Don't look Val.' She told herself.

Carl kept pushing for an answer,"Why Val? Why don't you belong?"

"Cuz Carl I'm... I'm not like you guys. I'm not good. I'm not... human. The things I've done, I can't come back from ok? I gotta go." She tried to explain but could tell the boy didn't believe a word and even seemed angered by it.

"You didn't choose to be like that. Negan..."

"Don't." She snapped interrupting him, repeating quieter yet just as firmly, "Don't."

Carl's throat bobbed nervously but he continued, "You aren't bad. You saved my life Val. You didn't have to and you got hurt because of it. You knew that would happen didn't you? Before you helped me."

Valentine looked away before dipping her chin, her hands fisting the straps of her bag tightly. She didn't want to speak anymore, she wanted to run away from the too perceptive kid.

Carl spoke quietly but strongly, "See, you're not bad. You did that because you're good. Stay Val. At least stay for a while to rest. You didn't even sleep did you?"

Shrugging the question off, Valentine muttered, "Doesn't matter."

The sound of another set of feet coming into the room had Valentine on guard, her hands dropping to her blades. She adjusted her stance automatically and without thought to be in front of Carl, as if he needed protecting. Rick sauntered in carrying a fussing Judith, his hair sticking up much like his son's. He paused when he saw them standing by the door and rasped, "What's goin on?"

"She's leaving dad."

"What?" Rick asked striding over causing Valentine's spine to stiffen and nostrils to flare. It didn't matter that she knew Rick wouldn't hurt her or that he was carrying a baby, not a weapon, she still reacted aggressively. His footsteps stuttered but he didn't stop, only slowed his pace. Rick drawled, "Don't go Val. Please... I, we really want you here."

Valentine rolled her shoulders as if unwinding the tension in her body before speaking without hesitation, "I don't want to be here. I appreciate your hospitality but I'm leaving."

She kept her eyes on Rick, completely avoiding Carl who had joined his dad's side. The prison was coming alive with the sounds of others waking up making Valentine's skin feel two sizes to small. She glanced at Carl and then returned her gaze to Rick. Jutting her chin towards the cellblock she murmured, "Tell Michonne and Daryl goodbye for me."

She didn't wait for him to respond before sliding out the exit. Striding down the hill to the prison's gate she watched as Tyreese looked down at her. He hollered, "Where you goin'?"

"Out. Can you open the gate?" She asked while still moving to the gate. When he didn't climb down she looked back up and ticked her head to the gate, "Come on. I don't feel like climbing over barbwire."

Tyreese moved from the railing and headed down the stairs. The sound of the prison door opening and slamming shut made Valentine cringe. She knew they'd keep coming after her but had hoped she could escape before they reached her. Tyreese saw Rick and Carl coming down the road and stopped from approaching her. She could see the distrust in his eyes and the apprehension to even approach her without knowing what was going on. It looked like Rick was chasing after her and for all Tyreese knew, she could've just hurt someone or robbed them.

Looking at the large man Valentine saw him shift slightly, his hand adjusted his grip on the rifle he carried. Narrowing her eyes she growled, "Open the fucking gate."

"Val wait!" Carl shouted, jogging the rest of the way before skidding to a stop in front of her, "Please don't go."

"Open the fucking gate!" She shouted, her temper breaking. Her frame was vibrating and eyes drilling holes into Tyreese and Rick. Carl was still standing within arms reach but she avoided looking at him. Valentine watched as Tyreese moved to pull Carl away from her. Rick looked worried but not with her hurting his son but rather her still trying to leave.

She was panting and couldn't help but flex her fists as if in the ring. Adrenaline pumped through her fast paced heart, pushing through her veins making her buzz frenetically.

"No." Rick answered, crossing his arms.

Valentine laughed dryly, "What I'm a prisoner here too? Huh? I'm tired of being fucking chained up Rick." Her anger began bubbling over and she snarled, "Open the gate or I'll tear it the fuck down with my bare goddamn hands!"

She was channeling her inner Negan, the curse words and rage flowing out of her like lava. It wouldn't have surprised her if her clothes were sooty and hair singed from the heat of her anger. Valentine knew she was losing her control but couldn't stop from unraveling.

Rick sighed and pulled out a set of keys while approaching her. Tyreese stopped him, grabbing his bicep roughly and warning, "You can't let her leave. She could go back and tell them where we're at."

Valentine seethed at the suggestion and pulled her blades out, her hands fitting in its well-worn grooves easily. Tyreese raised his rifle, the barrel aimed for a headshot. Carl cried out as Rick snapped, "Stop Ty!"

The large man kept his weapon aimed high making Valentine sneer, her inner animal waking, rearing up on its hind legs. She couldn't help but feel a trickle of giddy anticipation. "Come on big boy." She taunted cracking her neck and rolling her shoulders forward.

"Stop Val." A voice called out from up the dirt road. Valentine didn't look up but knew it was Daryl. The sound of his long stride coming towards them brought Valentine's eyes up for a second. Tyreese was still holding her in his sights until Daryl gripped the barrel, pushing it away. Daryl glared at the man and growled, "Go back to the tower."

"Man she's dangerous..." Tyreese started but Daryl roared, "Go back to the tower!"

Tension was vibrating off Daryl until the large man left with a huff of indignant breath while muttering about psychos.

Daryl ground his teeth for a moment before he drawled, "Where ya goin? Ya even got a plan? Supplies?"

Valentine was still jumping in her skin to kill something. She wanted to stalk something and slaughter it. Her muscles begged to be stretched and used, to punch and kick, to kill and destroy. With smoldering eyes Valentine spoke tensely, "I am leaving. It is safer for all of you to let me go before I hurt you. Open. The. Gate."

Rick glanced at Daryl who stared intently at Valentine. She could see him working through her statement and probably formulating a careful response. Sighing Valentine slide her blades back into their sleeves and turned around, her hands gripping the wire before hauling herself up quickly and easily. All three shouted for her to stop but she didn't listen, her agile body getting to the top. Grabbing the wire with her gloved hand she pulled them down, allowing herself a space to vault over. Barbs snagged her pants but not her skin as she grabbed the other side and climbed down quickly.

Turning around without looking at them again Valentine walked away, gliding into the woods away from the first place that seemed safe. Away from people who just wanted to help her. People that she would just harm. She couldn't let herself hurt them and Valentine knew she would even if not meaning to. Just feeling her reaction to the confrontation at the gate proved that she needed to leave. She couldn't hold in her feral side and eventually some innocent bystander would get hurt. No one at the prison deserved to be maimed or murdered by an uncontrollable monster like her.

* * *

Daryl watched Valentine stalk into the woods without a backwards glance. He glared at the branch obstructing his view of her as if he could make it disappear.

"She'll be ok." Rick rasped his voice tinged with doubt. Daryl grunted, "Don't mean she should have t'do it alone."

"Yeah well we can't force her to stay. It'd make us just like him." Rick muttered while rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. Daryl grunted in agreement before glancing up at Tyreese with narrowed eyes.

"Probably coulda talked her into stayin' if she didn't have a damn gun pointed at her head." Daryl growled irritably.

"Don't be mad at him. They don't know her like we do. Hell Daryl, ain't like we even know her really." Rick drawled regretfully, his hands curled into the wire gate.

"I do." Daryl spoke without thinking. Heat rushed up his neck making him turn away from his best friend. He was embarrassed with his declaration but it didn't make it any less true. Daryl had lived with an abusive monster and learned to survive much like Valentine had. He shut down everything that made him feel anything other than anger, nothing else helped him survive like rage.

He recognized the shame and self-hate. Valentine didn't feel she deserved help or safety because of the things she'd done.

The things that evil fuck made her do... Jesus Christ the things he did  _to_  her.

Daryl experienced his own horrors growing up but even Will Dixon didn't compare to Negan. There was a special place in hell for that bastard and Daryl hoped he was rotting in it.

Michonne had hinted at what the woman did to finally kill the fuck. It made Daryl's blood boil that she went to such lengths but deep down he didn't blame her. It had to have taken everything inside her to go through with it, let alone actually achieve it. He hoped the bastard suffered but more than anything he hoped Valentine could find a way to live with it.

"You think she'll come back?" Carl asked from his side bringing Daryl out of his head. He grunted, "Dunno. She won't let herself get caged up again. Don't say I blame 'er."

"But we're not like him." Carl spoke with such innocence that Daryl's lips curled slightly. Rick wrapped an arm around his son's shoulders and tried to explain, "Sometimes when someone's been hurt like Val has, it don't matter. She may know we won't but it's safer in her mind to not chance it at all."

"Ain't just that. She's afraid she ain't in control of herself." Daryl rasped, chewing on his thumb while still looking at the woods. "Shit, she might not be able to. Fightin' like that for so long... It changes ya."

Carl sighed and crossed his arms, "We should go after her. We can help her."

"I'll keep 'n eye out for her out there. A'right?" Daryl drawled looking at the worried teen. Seemingly satisfied Carl and Rick walked back to the prison leaving Daryl at the fence line. Pulling out a half smoked cigarette he cupped the flame while inhaling deeply, the burn feeling comforting and familiar.

Walking along the perimeter Daryl double-checked the fences while thinking about the feral blonde. When they first saw her in the ring with the giant charging her, Daryl thought he was about to witness her murder. Watching her kill the man should've caused revulsion but instead he was left impressed.

She moved like a predator. Her lithe body sliding around the blood stained circle like a large cat. Pawing softly upon the cracked cement, her curved spine maneuvering easily away from her opponents. If Daryl concentrated hard enough he could picture a swish of a long feline tail gliding behind her. She would be a beautiful animal. Fuck she was a beautiful animal but not in the ways Negan thought of her as though.

Daryl didn't see her as some out of control rabid animal, he saw her as powerful. Valentine was intuitive, she used her primitive instincts to survive, to fight, to kill. He had a visceral attraction to it, to that strength.

Valentine was created by the violent world for the violent world. Long lean muscles shaped for killing by killing. A perfect adaptation of the human form. The mind of a survivor encased within the body of a killer. It was a lethal combination that had kept her alive and anyone else she felt was worthy. Thankfully Valentine had decided to help them, saved all four of their lives and expected nothing in return.

Chewing his lip Daryl thought about what it cost her to help them, to save Carl. His gut still turned at the image burned onto the underside of his eyelids. The roping and rutted scars spread over her back like horrifying wings.

It felt like he had taken a horse hoof to the chest when Negan displayed her like a piece of meat. The only person he knew with more scars than himself was Merle and Valentine had him beat three times over. His heart ached at the memory of her pouring blood and snarling in pain yet not shedding a tear. The fact that she could even do it meant she'd experience more pain than anyone ever should. That type of pain changes a person, changes how they think, how the feel. Daryl knew, he sympathized. It was like looking in a mirror.

There weren't many people that Daryl would blindly trust without knowing them a long time, yet for some reason he trusted Valentine. He'd known she would help them on the first scavenge run they did together. She stood there while Negan taunted her and when his back turned Daryl watched her fist curl around her blade hilt. Her frame practically vibrated as she tried to control her desire to bury the weapon in his back. Those darkened eyes met his and he knew it. Knew she was like them, just as trapped and just as desperate to escape.

Sighing Daryl scrubbed his face and headed back to the prison for some more sleep. He had barely gotten any when he woke to the word of Valentine leaving. Upon entering the prison he passed a table with Sasha, Glenn and Maggie. He overheard them chatting about being happy for Valentine's departure, making him sneer at them.

"What? She grabbed Glenn like some psycho." Maggie exclaimed at seeing Daryl's disgust for their opinions. Shaking his head he drawled, "Ya'll don't even know what psycho is." He couldn't even stomach speaking to them anymore and stomped to his perch.

Collapsing on his thin mattress Daryl stared at the dull gray ceiling and thought about where she might head. He ran through all the nearby areas Valentine might check for supplies and places she might use for shelter. She was intelligent and knew how to survive so he knew which places she'd avoid. As his eyes finally began to droop he told himself he'd look for her on his next hunt. Daryl couldn't let her run away from a place and people that could help her heal, just like they helped him.

* * *

Valentine had left the prison two days prior and hadn't made much progress. Her search for supplies came up empty, the surrounding areas had obviously been thoroughly raided. Valentine figured the prison residents were primarily responsible for the shortage. She could've just kept going south or west but her damn chest seemed to tighten the further away she got. The harsh pulling had Valentine pacing an imaginary boundary a few miles out from the prison.

She didn't know why she couldn't push further away other than the strange desire to protect the group. Knowing she couldn't do it behind the fences, side by side with them, Valentine decided to do it from afar. She could keep them safe from outside threats with circling patrols. An outer patrol was something they should be doing anyways. It caught many threats outside of Sanctuary. If there was one good thing about Negan, it was his ability to strategize. He was a fucking mastermind when it came to protecting what was his and taking what wasn't. Valentine could use some of his security strategies to help keep the group safe and they'd never have to know.

* * *

On the fourth day away from the prison Valentine fell ill. It started with a sore throat but by afternoon she was coughing and feverish. Her body ached, her bones feeling as brittle as spun glass. She shivered violently next to a fallen tree, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. Looking up Valentine saw the dark clouds rolling in over the thick woods and felt dread. She knew if she stayed outside, whatever she was sick with would kill her. The area Valentine was in had no proper shelter and even if it did she could tell her sickness was serious. She needed medical attention. Rubbing the blurriness from her eyes, Valentine struggled to her feet. With the earth tilting with every step Valentine blinked rapidly as if it would clear her head. For a moment she focused on finding what direction she was looking before heading towards the one place she swore she'd never go back too.

Her boots felt like they were filled with cement, every step she took heavier than the last. Shivers ran rampant before the rain started and when it began Valentine couldn't keep her teeth from chattering violently and biting her tongue. Blood coated her mouth and tainting her tongue.

Coughing into her elbow to quiet the noise, her narrowed eyes caught movement to her right. Blinking through the rain collecting on her eyelashes she saw a walker shuffling her way, it's crooked gate bumping him into tree trunks.

Adjusting the grip on her machete she moved forward to kill the corpse. As she reached it she swung her blade out, cracking its head open and killing it. The blade struck at an odd angle and Valentine was too weak from the fever to retrieve it. The body started falling towards her making Valentine release the weapon to push on its chest. Her boots slipped on the wet Georgian mud until she crashed to the ground, the walker pinning her into the soaked earth. With the air forcefully pushed out of her lungs Valentine gasped, her face being pitted by cold hard rain. Sticky mud coated her clothing and made moving impossible.

Laying her head back on the ground she looked up at the storm clouds moving above, squinting through the ice water falling around her. The desire to just close her eyes forever almost overpowered Valentine.

"So what? You giving the fuck up?" A voice sneered from her right. Valentine's eyes shot open to see a shape moving towards her. She struggled to get out from under the corpse and to grasp her weapon but couldn't move her weakened limbs. Growling she shoved and pushed but only slipped on the wet soil.

"You killed all those bastards in the ring and one dead fuck is snuffing you out?" The dark familiar voice taunted, "You disappoint me Angel."

"Fuck off" Valentine snarled digging her heels into the ground for leverage, "You're dead."

"No I'm not Love. I'm right fucking here. You fucking retarded now too?" Negan asked his towering frame moving to a crouch by her side. His head cocked to the side and he asked, "Or are you a weak little bitch now? Huh? Did I finally fucking break you?" A coy grin slide onto his face, curling his lips.

Negan knelt next to her, rain dripping off his leather jacket and slicking his hair back. A sickening part of her was happy to see him. The feeling twisted in her chest like an uncoiling snake until it strangled her. The sickening relief of seeing him morphed into pure disgust for herself.

Valentine's eyes blazed as she clawed desperately at the body of the walker, his skin peeling off in her hands like taffy. Negan chuckled darkly as he watched her struggle, his pitch colored eyes gleaming with amusement, his full lips twisting into a smirk.

"Dying in the mud just like you deserve Angel. Fucking monster like you." He spoke matter-of-factly, his hand moving a soaked curling lock of hair off her forehead. She could feel the callouses on his fingertips and warmth from his skin. Shudders ran up her spine from the contact.

"Those people back there are fucking lucky you left. Jesus you're good for fucking nothing. Can't even kill a biter without almost fucking dying." Negan spoke with a sigh, "Poor little baby's got a cold."

"Shut up. You're fucking dead. I killed you, you fucker." She snarled kicking herself out from under the dead biter. Digging her fingers into the mud, she pulled herself away from the corpse and collapsed onto her stomach, gasping for air. Valentine's face lie on the ground, mud smothering her skin and clumping in her hair.

"Get up you stupid bitch. Go crawl back to those pussies you left me for. Fucking whore. You enjoyed fucking me. Just admit  _Love_!"

"Shut up!" She screamed her fist pounding the forest floor with a wet squelch. Valentine huffed out an angry breath before shoving herself to her feet and yanking her machete out of the dead man's head. She started shuffling towards the prison without a look back at the apparition haunting her. Valentine knew she needed help despite her habit of denying it. If Valentine ran into another walker she might not have the strength to fight it.

It took an hour before she realized the prison fences were within sight. Sighing she tried to talk herself out of going in but her survival instinct told her to suck it up. It was admitting defeat but it was necessary.

Trudging towards the gate she saw Michonne in the guard tower. The woman aimed a rifle at her until she realized it was Valentine. The sick woman stumbled forward, falling to her knees in the muck before pushing her sore body back up. Three walkers began approaching her without Valentine even noticing. She had been so focused on staying upright that she hadn't even realized she was walking straight at them.

"Val! Lookout!" A voice shouted before a few gunshots went off. Valentine's head snapped up thinking they were shooting at her but realized they'd killed the biters about to eat her. The gate was pulled open as she fell to the road again, her hands barely catching her face from smashing into the ground. Grunting in pain as the skin was scraped off her palms, Valentine sat back on her heels.

Hands reached for her, making her jump but she relaxed as Rick drawled, "It's me. It's Rick. Come on let me help you."

Valentine stuttered through chattering teeth, "J-just need t-t-to dry out a little."

Coughing downwards, the sick woman gasped for air, her lungs feeling full of gravel. She could hear them talking and felt them carrying her in but Valentine was losing consciousness.

"Get her in my cell." Hershel instructed before calling out supplies he needed.

"Stay with me Val. Are ya hurt or just sick?" Rick asked, his voice sounding close to her ear.

Through chattering teeth she stammered, "S-s-sick... N-n-not bit."

"We gotta get her outta those wet clothes." Someone ordered causing Valentine to struggle and stutter, "N-n-no." She pushed and shoved them away but soon her body gave out. Her breathing was rough and thick as her eyes became to heavy to keep open. Eventually she blacked out as they laid her down on a bed, her head lolling to the side. Her final sight was of Rick pulling off her boots and Michonne hovering by the door.


	16. Chapter 16

Daryl stood outside Hershel's cell waiting for either Rick or the older man to come out and tell him what the fuck was going on. He'd been waiting for what felt like goddamn hours and the longer it took the more anxious he got. Michonne finally came back in from watch and leaned next to him.

"Anything?" She grumbled her eyes tense, her arms crossed tightly.

Daryl grunted, "Nah." He chewed his lip while looking anywhere but Michonne or the cell door curtain. Michonne chuckled dryly and muttered, "Nothing wrong with feeling concerned about someone Dixon."

Snorting Daryl rasped, "Ain't concerned. She's fine."

"Yeah." Michonne murmured seeing Rick come out of the cell, his hand pulling the curtain closed. His face was tense with something close to worry but verging on rage. He joined them and cleared his throat speaking hoarsely, "She's got a sinus infection, bronchitis and exposure. He's startin' her on antibiotics."

"What else? You're face is all scrunchy." Michonne asked with a tiny smirk. Rick didn't react to the attempt at humor though, he seemed lost inside his head. One of his hands rest on his gun belt while the other rubbed his tired eyes. Daryl straightened up as if preparing for bad news. Rick was acting like she was dying or maimed.

"Had to change her clothes..." He glanced at them, focusing on Michonne. They both knew Michonne had helped her clean up after their escape and showered with her. The woman had seen everything that Rick must have just witnessed.

"So." Michonne responded her arms crossing defensively as if protecting the sick woman. Rick sighed and spoke lowly, "I saw everything up close. It's... shocking that's all."

"Of course it is, that guy was a psychopath." She snapped before adding in a calmer voice, "That doesn't mean we should gossip about it."

Rick shifted uncomfortably obviously feeling guilty for bringing it up. Daryl tried to play mediator rasped, "Ain't like we didn't know Rick. Mich is right though. No reason t'bring it up."

Nodding Rick muttered, "You're right. It was just..." Shaking his head he drawled, "if he weren't dead I'd wanna go back and gut the bastard."

Daryl's face darkened at the statement and he had to look away from the man. He didn't want to think about what other horrible scars lay underneath all her layers. Staring into the dining area, Daryl saw a few people all looking at the trio as if waiting for news on Valentine's return.

Not many people seemed to care that she took off after one night but some were openly happy about it. She was intimidating to most, men and women alike. Daryl thought it was amusing in a way because if they'd seen her in action they would have been even more terrified. Valentine gave off a certain sense, an air of danger. People could feel it just being in the room with her, almost as if her presence alone triggered their flight or fight reactions. If they had seen her in the rings in Sanctuary there wouldn't be many supporters of her living with them.

"Ya think she'll stay this time?" Carl voice broke up their quiet powwow. Rick sighed and looked back at the tiny cell. "I hope so. We gotta try to get her to see she'll be fine here."

"She's gonna need to be on runs." Michonne stated, "She needs to be outside the fences so she doesn't feel closed in."

Rick nodded, cupping his mouth in thought.

"She can prolly go huntin'. She's light on 'er feet." Daryl added gruffly feeling awkward inviting her on something he didn't usually invite anyone to. Rick cocked an eyebrow obviously recognizing the oddity. Rolling his eyes in return Daryl muttered, "Just tryin t'help y'alls need to keep her tied down."

"Ain't tyin her down just want her to have a home."

"I'll talk to her." Carl spoke confidently, his blue eyes shining bright under the wide brim of his father's hat, "if I get her to listen and not run, I know she'll stay."

The adults looked at the boy, who was more of a man and less of a child, speak with such conviction that it was decided instantly and silently. Carl would talk to Valentine and get her to stay. Daryl was pretty sure he could pull it off too. He had a mean set of sad puppy dog eyes and his father's bullheadedness. There wasn't much the Grimes boys couldn't get away with.

* * *

In the afternoon of the next day Valentine was still sleeping. It was pretty obvious that she hadn't done much of it since leaving. Daryl didn't think she did much of it since Sanctuary, not that he blamed her. Sleeping was usually filled with all the terrible things a person had experienced thrown in a blender with all their worst fears of things to come. At least that was Daryl's experience with them anyways. She was resting silently though so maybe that was just another way Daryl was fucked up and defective.

When he saw Hershel heading into his cell to check on her, Daryl couldn't help but follow. He hadn't seen her since they brought her in and it was making him irritable. Holding the curtain open before it could close he tipped his chin to Hershel letting him know to keep looking her over. The older gentleman scowled for a moment but then nodded his head in consent. Daryl watched him check Valentine's vitals and listen to her chest. She was so pale her skin was almost translucent but her lips were no longer blue like before. He could hear the rattling from her lungs with every shallow breath.

"Looks like bronchitis and maybe a sinus infection." Hershel spoke without looking over at Daryl as he listened to her congested lungs. Daryl knew that information and he was close to snapping at the old veterinarian if he didn't tell him what he really wanted to know. 'Is she going to be okay and why the fuck hasn't she woken up yet?' he shouted inside as if Hershel would get the point.

Hershel looked up seeing Daryl's scowl and added obviously for his benefit, "She'll be just fine with some antibiotics, food, water and rest."

"Why ain't she awake yet?" Daryl grumbled feeling slight relief that she wasn't dying.

"I doubt she's slept in the last seventy-two hours. I'm gonna guess she caught something coming here, new people, new germs. Then she ran her body down without sleep and nutrition. Add in exposure and well, it's recipe for disaster. Don't worry son, she'll wake up soon enough."

Chewing his lip Daryl watched as the older man pulled the blankets up to her chin, tucking her in like a child before passing by him through the cell door. Daryl grunted a goodbye but stayed watching her sleep.

When they hauled her inside she looked dead. Her skin covered in mud and walker gore, her body limp and soaked to the bone. Daryl's chest felt like it was in a vice. He thought he was too late. He'd been looking for Valentine's tracks but hadn't found any. It had occurred to him that she either knew how to cover her prints or she left the area completely. Daryl had constantly felt like Valentine was a few steps ahead of him at all times though. It was like he had been chasing his tail out in the woods for days.

Now there she was all fragile looking tucked into a bed like a little kid at nap time. Her shadowed eye lids looking drastically dark against the alabaster skin. She had long lashes that twitched as her eyes rolled around in sleep. Her lips were chapped and worried, bitten raw. Hershel had cleaned up her face and arms to dress the scratches but she was still caked in mud. Valentine's normally blonde hair was dark brown and matted. Daryl took the time to catalog the visible scars without worrying someone would catch him. She had one on her cheek that was a few inches long and looked like a knife wound. It was thin and pale pink fading to white, obviously an older one. On the narrow column of her neck lay a jagged knotted line of tissue, the skin darker and more severe. It looked like a wound that could've killed her without proper medical attention. Her arms were littered with old cuts and scrapes; her knuckles calloused and marred with typical boxer injuries. Daryl knew those were just the tip of the iceberg but they were enough to make his blood heat up.

"She ok?" Michonne asked from his right making him startle inside but he kept his face bland. He didn't need her wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He wasn't even sure what it was himself. The feral woman had seemed to have caught his attention. Daryl wasn't sure if it was just some animalistic attraction. If it was the pure intensity she seemed to emit that hooked him or if it was seeing someone as broken as he was, a feeling of camaraderie. Whatever it was Daryl was compelled to know her. Having ignored Michonne for at least a few minutes Daryl grunted, "Guess so."

Michonne deadpanned, "That's real helpful Dixon. Did Hershel tell you anything?"

"Needs meds and shit." He responded with a shrug, chewing on the corner of his thumb looking bored.

"Jesus. I'll go ask him myself." Michonne grumbled before walking away with an angry snap to her footsteps. Daryl's lips curled up because his ploy of being as unhelpful as possible worked perfectly, she left.

"Good tactic." A rough voice whispered from under the heap of blankets. Daryl's head whipped up to see Valentine's chestnut eyes squinting at him. He walked closer and sat on the tiny folding chair, "Huh?"

"Being vague to get people to move on to more helpful people." She rasped, coughing after finishing. Daryl grabbed a bottle of water and held it out to her. "Slow." He watched her sip the water, coughing in between drinks.

"I got no idea what you're talkin' about." He drawled with a hidden grin. Rolling her eyes she muttered, "Right."

After a stretch of silence he asked, "Are ya feelin a'right?"

"As good as could be expected I guess." She murmured her eyes drooping again before popping back open as if she were trying to keep from sleeping. Daryl listened to her lungs wheeze at every intake, like a rattle of loose gravel knocking around tin can.

"God I need a shower." She mumbled, "Smell like ass."

Daryl snorted and suggested, "Can ask Hershel if Mich could take ya."

Valentine nodded but it was more of a rolling of her head. She was obviously passing out again, her body sinking deeper into the mattress as sleep tugged her under.

"Get some rest Val." Daryl rasped before leaving the tiny room. With one last glance at her, he closed the curtain and headed outside to work the fences. He didn't know why he cared anything about the woman but he did. Part of him told himself it was because he owed her. Dixon's paid back people for shit like saving of ones life and that's what she did. She saved his family and him from certain death. That wasn't the only reason though, Daryl just wasn't sure what the main one was.

* * *

The throbbing behind her eyes woke Valentine. With a painful groan she peeled her eyes lids open to find herself wrapped up in a quilt in someone's bunk. She searched her muddled mind for the events leading up to her being back at the prison. After a few minutes of pondering she recalled being sick and needing help. She even recalled hallucinating Negan as some kind of demented cheerleader. 'You're cracking up Val.' She thought tiredly, rubbing her sore eyes.

"How ya feelin'?" Rick inquired from the doorway. Valentine looked up with difficulty, her eyes aching.

"Like shit," she croaked, swallowing thickly. Rick approached with a bottle of water and a small bowl of something. Valentine rose onto an elbow, the blanket falling down to reveal someone else's clothing. Her eyes popped up to Rick's seeing him look away guiltily. Growling she asked, "Who else?"

"Just me and Hershel. You were soaking wet, we had to." He responded setting down the bowl of noodles and crackers. "Don't worry, no one else but us two."

Valentine shifted uncomfortably and muttered, "I don't wanna talk about it."

Rick stared at her silently as she drank deeply from the bottle. Eventually he nodded in agreement but offered, "If ya ever do wanna, ya know where to find me."

Laying back down she avoided his eyes and cleared her throat asking, "Hershel figure out what's wrong with me?"

"Sinus infection and probably bronchitis. He's givin' ya antibiotics."

Nodding she felt her eyes getting heavy but Rick woke her, "Eat first Val. Then you can sleep more. You need the calories."

As she struggled to sit up Rick approached silently asking if he could help. Valentine dipped her chin and let him lift her upwards and place extra pillows behind her. He handed her the bowl and tiny packets of crackers before sitting across from her.

"What happened out there? You were covered in guts and mud." He spoke carefully as if trying to keep from upsetting her. Valentine sniffed and explained between spoonfuls of ramen.

"Got sick and then ran into a biter. My blade got stuck and the damn thing fell on me." She paused and cleared her throat thinking of Negan towering over her in the rain. Rick watched her obviously seeing her think of something troubling.

"What else?"

"Just fever dreams. Thanks for taking me in." Shifting the conversation away from herself as she finished her soup. Rick took her dish and assured her, "No need to thank us. We want ya here Val. You don't know how hard it's been not to go out and find you."

Valentine rolled her eyes and muttered, "Don't lie Rick. I've seen Daryl's tracks looking for me. Why do you think he never found me?"

Rick smirked behind his hand and shrugged, "I had no idea."

Valentine grunted, pushing her hair off her face. Her head was pounding and lungs felt like they were filled with sand. Coughing to the side she pushed herself up further to see how bad she was actually feeling. Her head whooshed and eyes spotted for a moment but then it passed. Rick was standing near waiting to see if she was going to fall over.

"I'm alright. I need a shower though" she spoke hesitantly, "I can probably do it."

"No you'll pass out or somethin' I can ask Michonne t'help?"

Valentine chewed her lip anxiously. She knew the woman had seen her scars already but it didn't make it any less uncomfortable.

"I'll go get her ok?" Rick asked his eyebrows raised in question.

Giving him a head bob Valentine relaxed as she waited. After a few minutes she heard footsteps and then Michonne popped her head into the cell. She grinned at her and quipped, "Well good evening lazy ass."

Valentine rolled her eyes and rasped, "Shut your pie hole."

The woman chuckled and entered the cell, pulling the curtain closed for a moment. Valentine didn't understand until she realized she didn't have pants on.

Michonne was holding a pair of sweatpants and slippers. Valentine rolled her eyes and muttered, "Fucking slippers? Really?"

"Really. Come on, I have better shit to do than baby you." Michonne joked helping her stand to pull the pants up completely before grabbing her clean clothing. Valentine steadied herself with a hand on Michonne's shoulder until she felt safe to move. They walked out together, Michonne hovering but not holding her up. Valentine let the other woman guide them back to the showers and then sat down on the long bench. She was wheezing like an emphysema patient after smoking a cigar. Michonne looked worried but Valentine waved her off, coughing into her elbow.

After a few minutes Valentine felt strong enough to get undressed and into the shower. Michonne stood near by and waited for her in case she got dizzy. Valentine was finishing up when a couple voice entered the bathroom. She froze, her body tensing dramatically as she realized her secret was about to be exposed.

"I'll grab your clothes." Michonne spoke as if reading her mind.

Valentine muttered a quick thanks and pulled the towel down to dry off. As she bent to wipe her legs down all the blood rushed to her head causing Valentine to practically stumble. She caught herself from falling on her face but ended up kneeling on the bathroom floor. Pressing her fingers into her eyes to quell the dizziness Valentine curled over slightly to ground herself. Her palm flat on the cool ground got her feeling less nauseous.

"I gotcha." Michonne spoke firmly, a towel thrown over her shoulders and two hands on her biceps to keep her from keeling over. They sat for a moment, the voices had stopped talking but Valentine could feel eyes on her. She kept her eyes closed so she wouldn't have to see their pity or disgust.

"You ok?" Michonne whispered, "Should I get help to carry you?"

"No." She muttered, "I'm fine. I just… Need help dressing I think. Just so damn dizzy."

Michonne helped dry her off and then pulled a shirt on over her head covering the worst of her scars.

Eventually Valentine stood up and stepped into a pair of pants. The whole time Valentine kept her head down and away from any eyes that may have been watching. She normally wasn't that submissive but the combination of being sick and out of control made her less than confident at holding a glare.

Michonne grabbed her things and asked, "Alright. Ready?"

The pair walked past a couple women who looked away as soon as they approached. Valentine wanted to sneer at them for their nosiness but kept her eyes elsewhere. "Do you wanna go back to Hershel's or up to your own?"

"Stairs will take me all night." She remarked coughing to the side until her eyes watered. Michonne had her arm around her waist as she got more and more unsteady with each painful hacking lungful.

"I gotcha." Daryl spoke from he side, his arm joining Michonne's as they practically carried her into Hershel's cell. Daryl helped get her settled onto the bed as a Michonne got he blankets situated.

Valentine was wheezing and dizzy by the time she relaxed against the mattress.

"Jesus." She gasped with a scowl, "Lungs fuckin hurt."

Daryl left the cell instantly coming back with Hershel in tow. The older man opened up his bag and started listening to her lungs. With every deep breath she took, a rough coughing fit occurred. Both Michonne and Daryl looked far too concerned.

"Don't we have anything to help her not cough?" Michonne asked nervously.

"I'll give her some cough syrup. What we need is some asthma inhalers. The steroids would help her lungs inflammation." Hershel remarked while putting his tools away and pulling out a bottle of cherry flavored syrup. Valentine wrinkled her nose at the bottle and muttered, "I fucking hate cough syrup."

"Language dear and it doesn't matter if you like it or not. Open up." Hershel spoke firmly but Valentine could see his lips twitching. She narrowed her eyes and rasped, "Charmin bedside manner gramps."

Hershel chuckled and raised an eyebrow with the cup of syrup for her. Rolling her eyes she took the medicine and swallowed it down, gagging afterwards.

"Big baby." Michonne quipped making Valentine hold up a one finger salute.

"Ok kids let the woman sleep." The older gentleman instructed, "Get her another bottle of water also."

Michonne exited after Hershel to grab more water while Daryl stood to the side looking tense. Valentine laid her head back and coughed again into her elbow. Her lungs actually hurt from the depth of the cough. Her ribs and stomach sore from the movement. She rubbed her side with a hand while grimacing.

"Ya a'right?" Daryl drawled reminding Valentine she wasn't alone.

"Just sore from coughing I guess." She spoke hoarsely, her throat damaged from the action also. Valentine rubbed her eyes sleepily and yawned, her body exhausted from all the movement. Daryl stood leaning against the wall his thumb firmly bitten between his teeth seemingly lost in his own head. She looked him over through sleepy eyes. His broad shoulders stretched in that same leather vest with wings. His clothes looked clean but well worn and threadbare. The dark hair hanging in his eyes hid whatever was going on his head but the furrowed brow did not.

"What's wrong?" She rasped, clearing her throat roughly afterwards. Daryl grunted, "S'nothin. Mich is bringin' ya stuff. Get some rest." Valentine watched him stride out and pass Michonne in the cellblock. She watched Michonne smirk and cock an eyebrow at his sudden departure.

The amuse woman came in with water as well as another blanket. She got Valentine settled before leaving herself. After drinking more water Valentine collapsed into the soft blankets and thin mattress. It seemed like she would need a few weeks of sleep to make up for her self enforced insomnia.

* * *

_Valentine walked into the darkened room, the center lit from above creating a large bright circle. She wandered towards it curious about where she was. Her feet, though light, echoed in what sounded like a giant room. There was water dripping somewhere, a steady plunk of liquid hitting cement. She smelled dirt and soot, gasoline and decomposition. 'Sanctuary,' she thought looking around finally seeing the abandoned factory equipment and large I-beams stacked around._

_It was eerily silent though, not something commonly had in the house of horrors. Valentine reached the brightly lit circle and looked up towards Negan's usual perch. She saw Daryl and her husband Paul standing in his spot instead._

" _Paul?" She gasped, stepping towards him but finding herself unable to leave the light. Her eyes jumped to Daryl who scowled back, his eyes looking more angry than concerned. "Daryl? What…" She trailed off her eyes bouncing between the two men. When neither spoke Valentine looked around the room and noticed Negan standing behind her next to a bed, Lucille propped against its pillows. Confusion filled her at first but then a creeping sense of dread filled her._

" _Time for the show Love. Your fans are waiting." He spoke, his deep cadence lulling her yet still causing her to back away. Valentine watched his hand strike out and grab her wrist, her body not reacting to her pleas to run._

" _Well don't make them wait Angel." Negan urged, his hand pulling at her shirt, "You need to show them."_

" _What?"_

" _You need to show them what you really are." He answered yanking her shirt off. Valentine struggled with his grip but couldn't get free. Her eyes cut to the balcony to find both men glaring furiously at her._

" _Show them." Negan sneered yanking at her pants. Valentine pulled away but fell to her knees, pain jolted her but she couldn't move. She was gasping for air, clawing at her chest to relieve the weight sitting on it._

" _SHOW THEM!" Negan screamed, his face bending down to her eye level hissing, "Show them what a monster you really are."_

Valentine's eyes shot open and she realized she had fallen out of bed, the pain from falling was real. Looking down she found her legs tangled in blankets and her fists clenched in the loose fitting shirt she wore. Her lungs were pulling in short sharp gasps, a whistling wheeze rattled through her rib cage.

"Val you okay?" A voice asked from the doorway. Her eyes flit to the darkened opening to see Carl standing with a lantern. Coughing slightly Valentine shifted to try and get back in bed but started falling again. Carl was there instantly trying to help, his hands gripping her shoulders.

"It's ok. Just stay 'til you aren't dizzy." He instructed crouching in front of her, "I'll help you get up in a minute."

Nodding Valentine slowed her breathing and coughed a few times. After a few minutes she nodded to him, letting the boy know she was ready to try to move.

Slowly they both got her back in bed and Carl sat next to her with a concerned expression, "Should I get Hershel?"

"No," she croaked, "just a dream. I'm ok."

"Alright. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." She answered quickly, squeezing her eyes shut as if it would make the nightmare go away. The feeling of being peeled raw and exposed was sticking to her. It was bad enough having the nightmare but even worse to break in front of someone. She was cringing with both embarrassment and shame for her exposed weakness.

"I want you to stay Val. Dad, Michonne and Daryl all want you too and they were tryin' to think of how to convince you but I'm just asking you. Will you stay because I really want you too."

Valentine sat staring at the kid who had more guts than most adults. Carl wasn't trying to convince her or list all the reasons why she should do something. He asked her and stated the most honest reason why. 'Because I really want you too.'

Despite Carl's obvious exposure to what the new world was he still carried an innocence special only to kids. A total lack of inhibition to hide one's feelings.

'Because I really want you too.'

Pursing her lips Valentine looked at her lap shyly and nodded, "A'right. I'll try."

Carl grinned widely and then launched forward giving her a hug. Valentine hugged him back awkwardly, no longer used to that type of physical contact, especially with a kid. For a moment when she closed her eyes, Valentine let herself slip into a memory of holding Michael on the front steps of his grade school. He'd gotten out early for some holiday and he had a three-day weekend. The boy looked like he was going to Disneyland. She had watched him bounce down the stairs and then launch himself into her, pure happiness in his eyes. When she asked what was so exciting the kid responded with a large grin,  _"I get to be home with you a whole extra day Mom, duh."_

Valentine squeezed her eyes shut and felt the tears barely wet the edges of her lashes. Sniffing she pushed Carl back slightly and cleared her throat, "Gonna get some rest. Thanks carl."

"No problem, Val. Can we get breakfast together?"

Nodding without looking up she watched him pat her hand before exiting the cell carrying his tiny lantern. Valentine sunk back into her bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin. Wiping her eyes on the edge of the quilts, she took a deep breath and began packing away her emotional baggage. If she was staying, she needed to wall up everything nice and secure. No one needed to see what a mess was hiding inside her. No one needed to see how fucked up she really was. She needed to barricade her past and forget it had ever happened.


	17. Chapter 17

A scuff of a shoe had Valentine shooting up and searching for a weapon that wasn't where she usually kept it. Her hands frantically roaming the underside of her pillow.

"Just me." A gruff voice spoke from the other side of the tiny room. She blinked trying to clear the thick fog addling her mind. Valentine had no idea where she was for a few tense seconds before they added, "s'Daryl."

"Oh." She mumbled clearing her sore throat before explaining, "Forgot where I was."

"Still do." He muttered and thrust something at her. The room was fairly dark but a few lanterns were still lit somewhere in the cell block. Valentine reached out and took what was in Daryl's palm. Taking the L-shaped piece of plastic she held it closer to see what exactly the man brought her in the middle of the night.

"Hershel said ya needed 'n inhaler." He rasped, his shoulders hunched and lip rolling between his teeth nervously. Valentine stared at it a moment and then looked up to see him flitting his eyes from the medicine in her hand to the doorway. Daryl looked as if he were planning his escape from having to explain himself.

"Where'd you find it?"

Daryl cleared his throat awkwardly before rasping, "Figured someone who worked here prolly had it 'n carried a backup in their office or whatever."

Valentine swallowed thickly feeling something fill her chest, a warmth that she couldn't place. "Thank you." She croaked out hoping it sounded like she just had a sore throat from coughing and not the strange emotion choking her.

Daryl chewed on the corner of his thumb and rolled his shoulder lazily, "s'nothin'"

Valentine shook her head and kept her eyes on the plastic inhaler. "Nah. It's something Dixon. Thanks."

He grunted and gave Valentine a nod, grunting, "a'right."

They stared at each other a moment and then Daryl bobbed his head before grunting out a "g'night."

She watched him leave and then heard his footsteps climb the stairs before heading to wherever he was sleeping. Closing her eyes while clutching the medicine in her hand, Valentine took a slow calming breath but ended up coughing violently rather relaxing. After a few rounds of hacking into her pillow, muffling the terrible sound, Valentine heard another set of footsteps. She recognized them as Hershel by the thump of his prosthetic leg.

"How are you feelin'?" He asked quietly coming inside with his bag. Valentine coughed another time before rasping hoarsely, "m'ok just lungs feelin' full. Daryl brought this... Should I use it?"

Hershel looked at it for a long moment, confusion wrinkling his brow. "Where'd he get that?" He asked looking at the prescription information on it. "It's still good."

"Offices I guess."

"Good man. Take one puff every four hours unless you have another attack like that. Then take an extra." Hershel explained before showing her how to use he medicine. Valentine took the short puff and then relaxed back feel her lungs open up and her breathing feel less labored.

"You may feel edgy or anxious. That's the steroids. It'll pass."

Valentine nodded and mumbled sleepily, "feels better."

"Good dear." He spoke softly, his eyes tightening before continuing, "Your color's better. When you came in you were rather blue."

Valentine sniffed, "Felt like it."

The older man smiled gently and drawled hesitantly, "Rick had told me about the place y'all were in."

She felt her heart stutter as the man looked at her with concern. Valentine could tell where the conversation was going and it was a place she didn't want to go.

"I wasn't fully aware of how bad it was until Rick and I changed you're clothing."

"Don't." She whispered hoarsely, the choking emotions coming back with a vengeance. Hershel nodded, his eyes softening and patted her knee.

"If you need anything..." he paused giving her a pointed before continuing, "Get some sleep and tomorrow you'll feel better." The older gentleman spoke quietly before exiting the cell.

Valentine nodded back as she felt her eyes get heavy but her mind was still running. She couldn't really pinpoint why Daryl's actions seemed so thoughtful because they'd helped her already. Took her in not once but twice. They could've said good riddance and turned her away when she came stumbling back to their gate. Not to mention they seemed adamant about her staying there and becoming one of them. Even after all of that completely unwarranted and undeserved help she was still surprised at Daryl's personal search for medicine. It was... sweet and Daryl Dixon didn't strike her as someone who showed that to many people. He was gruff and short with most people, or so she'd witnessed.

Valentine felt thankful and actually, maybe even cared for. Like they honestly wanted her there and not only that but wanted her to be healthy and comfortable. It was so different than anything she experienced since stumbling into Sanctuary... since meeting Negan.

'Maybe it won't be so bad Val.' She thought while curling onto her side, pulling the blanket up to her chin. 'Maybe it'll be nice even.'

* * *

Daryl lay on his flat mattress looking blankly at the ceiling and the flickering shadows from lanterns. He wasn't sure why he made it his mission to find Valentine inhalers but when Hershel mentioned it he couldn't help but think of Merle's on again, off again fuck buddy who carried the damn things everywhere. Christi Lynn was stripper, of course, who smoked like a chimney. She usually had an inhaler in her purse at all times but one night she hadn't. Daryl remembered having to drive her to the club for her back up inhaler she kept in her locker for emergencies. It seemed to Daryl having a back up may be something everyone with asthma did. Daryl didn't think he did anything too special, it took a few hours of searching every office and shithead prison guard locker but he found one. It was brand new so hopefully there was enough to help her out. Valentine had looked at him with such... he actually wasn't sure what it was in her eyes. It seemed like gratitude but there seemed to be a bit of sadness or some other overwhelming emotion in her eyes. Daryl thought in horror for a second that she was going to cry but then he remembered it was Valentine. She suffered through a guy raking a barbwire covered baseball bat down her spine without shedding a tear.

That thought alone had Daryl's mind spin out of control on a whole different tangent. One that caused boiling rage and clenched fists. He wished he could turn back time and kill the fucker then. Hell, he wished he could turn back time and keep her from stepping foot in that place at all. Daryl wasn't sure of the circumstances and he was absolutely positive Valentine's husband did everything humanly possible to keep his family safe, however he couldn't help but think he'd never let it happen. Daryl couldn't change it. He couldn't save her family or make all her scars disappear but he could prevent her from being hurt again. Daryl could help get her healthy and keep her safe. Valentine didn't deserve to be hurt ever again. She'd suffered more than anyone ever should.

* * *

It had been a couple weeks since Valentine returned to the prison. She'd been feeling almost completely healthy except when pushing herself too far or too fast. Michonne and her had been training together. Both women were equally skilled and thrived on competing with each other.

It had been a tough transition being surrounded by such normalcy that Valentine mainly kept to herself. She knew most people at the prison were scared of her. No one would make eye contact and some even left the room when she entered. It didn't bother her much. She had become accustom to solitude and preferred it, especially where she came from. It was better to keep her distance while in the Sanctuary.

Rick, Carl, Daryl and Michonne were the only ones to keep daily contact with her. Carol was friendly and seemed to have a gleam of understanding in her eyes when dealing with Valentine. It was as if she knew everything Valentine had been through and maybe she did. Daryl and her were close from what Valentine had seen but she also knew Daryl wasn't the type to gossip. She had a feeling that Carol had a dark past just like her and could just see another victim of the world.

Glen and his wife had warmed up to Valentine until Maggie walked in on her changing after a shower. Now she looked at her like a carnival freak like everyone else. Word had gotten around about her, rumors and urban legends about her injuries. Valentine knew her body was disfigured. It was the thing of a monster, a murderer. A person couldn't look at her as anything but dangerous. She was like one of those rescued pit bulls from a fighting ring. It didn't matter if the dog was rehabilitated. The scars covering it's body were a huge red flag to others. They screamed 'I used to rip things apart with my teeth and I survived because I'm a wild animal. I'm rabid. I'm feral'.

That's what Valentine felt like anyways. An abused dog who would never be looked at as more than that broken creature in the corner to fear. The 'thing' that would bite the hand that fed it.

* * *

Valentine sat by herself eating a bowl of oatmeal, the room loud with chatter. Her eyes stayed on her bowl but she listened. Most were having idle chitchat but a few were gossiping about her. She picked up on the word scars from one of the hushed conversations. A person slumping down next to her making her start but she relaxed as soon as she saw it was Carl.

Smiling at him softly Valentine bumped his shoulder with hers. Speaking in the quiet voice she'd taken to using in order to adapt back to the speaking world Valentine asked, "How's it goin?"

The teen shrugged and looked at a table of women trying to stealthily watch them. Carl's eyes narrowed at them and Valentine heard him huff out an angry breath before crossing his arms. She smirked at his protective stance and bumped his shoulder again.

"Don't worry about it. Let them stare and talk." She muttered eating the last spoonful of oats. "You wanna train with me? Your dad said yes as long as I don't use real weapons yet. And not til he gives the ok."

Carl smiled widely and nodded, "Yeah! So fight training but no knives?"

"For now. It'll be safer that way. Learn how to handle yourself before adding weapons into it." She explained standing up and stretching her back. Carl stood also bouncing on his feet excitedly. Her lips twitched at his enthused face. Valentine put her dirty dish away and then headed outside. Eyes followed them as they left but no one spoke up against it. Valentine knew people thought it was wrong of Rick to allow the boy to spend time with what the thought was a violent animal.

They were standing in the yard in a relatively flat and level area. Valentine had taken Carl through stretches and warm up motions. Soon they worked on fighting stances and she taught him a few defense moves as well as offensive maneuvers. They had a bit of an audience, which was making Carl cocky. Valentine got him in line by flipping him easily onto his back with a thump, her forearm lightly against his neck.

"Pay attention to the fight, not the spectators. You aren't safe until all threats are gone. If you get cocky or think your invincible you'll die." she spoke firmly. Carl's eyes widened, as he seemed to realize she had to have perfected everything she knew from actual personal experience. He had seen her fight before and appeared to realize at least some of her training was real world experience.

The boy gave her a stiff nod and hopped to his feet. Valentine noticed Rick and Daryl watching with smirks but she also spied Maggie and Glenn in the tower. Focusing on the kid in front of her, she decided to work on escapes from holds. She worked through the moves to make when being held from behind or from the front. They even worked on grappling on the ground. Soon they were drenched in sweat and Valentine called it a day. She grabbed Carl in a headlock and marched toward the prison while he laughed hysterically. Rick and Daryl met them at the top of the hill as Valentine released the boy.

"Go get water and food. You burned off a lot calories. Oh and Carl shower, you stink." She spoke with her lip turned upwards slightly. Carl gave her the middle finger on his side so Rick couldn't see. Rolling her eyes, Valentine quipped, "right back at ya kid."

Rick raised an eyebrow and she shrugged nonchalantly. Daryl tipped his chin toward the yard, "Did good out there. Teachin' him the basics."

She nodded shyly and looked toward the other in the courtyard, "I'm not sure everyone will agree but if it's ok with you Rick, I'll keep helping him."

"Of course. It'll be good for him to protect himself without weapons." Rick answered and looked at the others watching avidly, "Don't let anyone make you feel like ya don't belong here Val."

She chewed her cheek and looked away feeling unsure of how to respond. Daryl added, "Knowin' how t'survive the worst of all worsts ain't a bad thing Val."

Valentine snorted and replied, "What about being one of the worst of the worsts? I'm not a good person anymore and I don't think I can come back from that… that place."

Rick stepped forward making Valentine tense but not act defensively like she used to. He ducked his head to catch her nervous eyes, "Ya ain't any worse than Daryl and I. We've all done shit we never woulda done before to survive. To keep our loved ones alive. Nothing ya did back there was something ya enjoyed."

"I enjoyed winning."

"Ya cuz it meant ya were alive. Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' happy bout that." Daryl drawled adamantly, "Don' let these fuckers who ain't had t'fight for nothin' their whole lives make ya feel bad 'bout ya'self."

Valentine nodded and rolled her lip between her teeth contemplating their words, "I'll try."

Rick nodded as if satisfied and drawled, "Daryl's doing a supply run in a couple days to a few nearby towns. You up for some scavenging?"

Valentine smirked and gave him nod, "Yeah. Been awhile. Be good to stretch my legs."

* * *

Valentine dreamed a horrible dream involving her husband walking in as Negan and her were having sex. Paul was screaming obscenities at her, calling her a whore. Negan began swinging Lucille at him, caving his head in. Blood coated the room and floor. Negan threw her at Paul's body and she fell into all the blood.

She woke with a start, her chest heaving violently. Bile rose in her throat, the sharp tang of stomach acid had her racing out of her cell towards the bathrooms. She couldn't even keep her steps light for fear of being sick all over the cellblock. Her eyes were flooded with anguished tears, blurring her vision as she jogged down the stairs and out of the darkened block.

With a hand clamped over her mouth and another gripping her roiling stomach Valentine flung herself inside. She collapsed in the bathroom, her arms hugging the bowl as she got sick while sobbing. Her body shook so violently that she had to squeeze the porcelain to stay upright. Valentine's stomach lurched again, but only resulted in dry heaves. She had nothing left to throw up. Tears and snot streamed down her face as she broken down like never before.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry," she muttered under breath. Her mind pictured her poor dead husband and how horribly disgusted he would be with her. Valentine sobbed until her body ached. Lying down on the floor she curled into a ball hugging herself tightly. The bare cement was freezing and she was shivering terribly with chattering teeth. Yet she couldn't bring herself to move. The thought of slitting her wrists crossed her mind again. She thought about how she would never be able to look at herself in the mirror without seeing a frightening scarred monster who threw away all of her morals. She'd become a murderer and a whore.

"Fuckkkkk," she growled while slamming her fist into the floor. She felt the urge to beat something, destroy something. Valentine wanted to fight, she wanted to kill walkers. Something to make the pain stop. A knock on the thin metal stall door made her jump. She glanced up at it with sore puffy eyes from breaking into pieces. Her cheeks were damp and she had sick on her shirt. The knock sounded out again making her croak out, "m'fine."

"Open up Val." Michonne instructed firmly. Valentine pictured her with arms crossed and a trademark scowl. She pushed herself up off the ground and reach up twisting the lock. Not bothering to try to stand she opened the door and looked up. Michonne eyes widened at the sight making Valentine drop her chin to her chest and hide her shame ridden face. The stoic women crouched down and whispered, "Look at me Val."

After sniffing loudly and wiping her cheeks off she peered up at Michonne. She watched the woman's face darken momentarily before her mask slid back on.

"Nightmare?"

Valentine nodded but added, "Memories turned into nightmares."

Michonne dipped her chin and murmured, "Tell me."

Her breathing hitched at the request and she shook her head quickly, "no"

"Tell me." She repeated slower and with sympathetic and trustworthy eyes. Valentine swallowed through the lump in her throat and she strangled out, "I... I don't even know where to begin."

"Tell me the dream, or what happened with Negan. Anything to help you get through this."

Valentine sucked in a deep breath and felt overwhelming need for catharsis. "I fucked him. I fucked my husband's murderer my b-boy, " Valentine's voiced cracked sharply, the word catching in her throat like broken glass. Closing her eyes for a tense moment before she slid them open and whispered, "I fucked him and when I did it... I... I" Valentine couldn't finish the statement. She couldn't tell the woman that she came like some vile monster. Even worse would be the confession of feeling regret for killing him. That despite the disgusting dream there was a sick part of her that missed Sanctuary and even the devil himself.

"What?"

"Nothing. I fucked him to kill him and I hate myself. I dreamt he fucked me while my husband watched. He was calling me a whore and then Negan killed him. I was covered in his blood just like when he died." She trailed off, her voice going hazy as if reliving it and added under breath, "Just like I deserve."

Michonne sat down and place a careful hand on her knee. "We have all done things to survive."

"I didn't have to..."

"Let me finish. We've all done things to survive. Those things change us. They fuck with us. You've spent a year being tortured, psychologically abused and manipulated. No one would come out of that a balanced human being. You did what you had to, to finish what he started."

Valentine listened while chewing her lip aggressively. She muttered, "I went to far and I'm never going to be able to look at myself again."

"You will. It takes time but you will." Michonne assured and then confessed, "I had... I had son."

She looked away and her voice tightened, "Lost him because of someone's selfish choices. My boyfriend and his friend's choices. They died. Afterwards... I did things... Cut their arms and jaws off. Chained em up and used them as camouflage." Her eyes burned holes into Valentine and she continued, "I lived like that, tugging those fuckers around like pets. Felt like I deserved it for what I did. I was a monster. I couldn't see past it, the shame, the regret... Still can't some days but... It fades. It will fade for you too."

Valentine was clenching her fists and chewing her cheek. "M'sorry about your son." She whispered her eyes connecting with the fellow mothers eyes. Michonne dropped her chin and wiped he lone tear on her cheek before instructing, "Come on. Let's go to bed."

* * *

Daryl, Glenn and Valentine headed to a nearby town scavenging for supplies. Glenn sat in back his eyes constantly cutting to hers before flitting away. She pursed her lips and then huffed out an irritated breath from her nose. Daryl grunted, "Wha'?"

Valentine looked at him with narrowed eyes before glancing back at Glenn. The man in question saw her looking and found something really interesting outside the window. Daryl gnawed his thumb a moment, one hand leisurely draped over the steering wheel. Valentine felt the tension in the car and couldn't take it anymore. She turned in her seat and snapped, "Glenn if you have something to say please say it. I can feel your eyes drilling holes in my skull. It's irritating."

Glenn's mouth opened a few times like a catfish beached on the lakeshore. "Maggie saw your scars." He blurted out his face flushing and he mumbled, "others know."

"What the fuck Glenn!" Daryl shouted his eyes cutting to the backseat. Valentine chewed her lip and muttered, "So what're they saying?"

Daryl growled and twisted the steering wheel, the vinyl cracking under his white knuckled fist. Glenn swallowed nervously and he stammered, "I'm not saying this or spreading it but... A few people think you did it yourself, that.. you like pain or something. A couple others said you were the girlfriend of the man in charge there or something and it was like... branding you or whatever"

Daryl growled his eyes blazing a hole into Glenn forehead in the mirror. Valentine shifted uncomfortably and thought about Negan. She'd been avoiding the subject ever since her dream the night before last. He was creeping back into her head now though. Deep claws digging into the soft tissue, venom soaking in and blackening her thoughts. His pitched colored eyes and malicious grin flashing behind her eyelids with every blink. She could smell his aftershave and taste the whiskey he had drank that night. The night she lost the last piece of herself.

"Val." Daryl rasped deeply, his piercing blue eyes looking at her intently. She swallowed thickly and raised her gaze to his. He chewed his cheek, his face fracturing a bit by the look in her eyes. The guilt and shame were the predominant emotions but there was fear, anger and grief. Daryl glared at Glenn who seemed to have noticed the change in Valentine. She swallowed and then reeled it all in. Using the skills she had to adopt to survive Negan, she closed down all the 'human' inside her. It was the only way to live through what she had without going completely insane and it would keep her from losing it again. She needed to focus outside the fences. She couldn't think about the past when in a dangerous present.

"Hey Glenn how 'bout ya tell your wife and everybody back there to mind their own fuckin' business. Ain't nobody knows shit 'bout this woman 'n if I catch someone talkin' like that 'bout her I'm gonna stomp a mud hole in their ass." Daryl sneered, his eyes jumping from the road to drilling holes into the man in the backseat.

Glenn coughed nervously and nodded vigorously. "S-sorry I... Me and Maggie we don't participate. But.. we're curious like everybody else."

"How 'bout instead a listenin' to that bullshit ya cut it out. Ain't fuckin right to sit back an listen."

Glenn nodded and sat forward causing Valentine to stiffen her shoulders, moving towards her door. She knew she was safe but once she shut down it was all instinct. There was no thoughtful thinking. It was actions and reactions. Do or be done.

"Sorry Val. I didn't mean to upset you."

Valentine shrugged one shoulder and kept her eyes on the horizon. Today was supposed to be a relaxing day away from the prying eyes and constant whispers, now both were just inside her head. She could tell Daryl was worried about her but Valentine couldn't bring herself to look at him. The look of pity or sadness would crush her. It was better to never see it and hope once they were working everything would be forgotten.

The car pulled up to a neighborhood of cookie cutter houses. Each the same color tan and white. The area was pretty clear of walkers and the homes looked looted but not recently. Valentine climbed out and waited as she heard Daryl ripping Glenn another new asshole. She chewed her lip and looked over the neighborhood. A few walkers stumbled out of the backyard at her and she moved quick and gracefully. Her blades taking out both simultaneously, the left slicing a short mans forehead while her right blade thrust upward under the jaw of a teenaged female. The car doors opened as they fell. She scanned the area looking for others drawn by the noise and saw none. Looking at the car she saw Daryl's smirk and Glenn open mouth gawk. "Are you ladies ready?" She asked with a raised brow ticking her head toward the house beside her.


	18. Chapter 18

They had cleared the whole block of supplies and undead. Daryl was still pissed off at Glenn and everyone back at the prison for treating Valentine like a damn outcast. He fumed for a good hour before settling down and focusing on searching for loot. Daryl had watched as Valentine shut down in the car, her face going blank and posture stiff. Seeing the turmoil simmering under the surface, Daryl noticed her eyes were the only thing betraying her silence. There was a fragility in her darkened gaze that he'd never seen in her. She was being haunted by her past just like he was sometimes late at night.

Glenn was watching her in awe as she cut through the dead like they were nothing. Daryl had forgotten not many at the prison had seen her do much other than train since she'd been sick. He found the size of Glenn's eyes and slack mouth amusing.

"How does she do that?" He asked watching the woman slice the head of one walker with one arm while driving the other blade through the underside of a jaw of another. It was graceful, a dance of some kind done with a lethal weapon. Hell, Valentine  _was_  the lethal weapon.

Daryl readied his bow while watching Valentine saunter back towards them. His eyes couldn't help but slid down her lean frame. She was splattered with blood, shirt soaked in it, her arms speckled and hands drenched. It was erotic and made his dick twitch at just the sight. The lethality that coursed through her, drew Daryl like a moth to a flame. He wanted to stroll up, devour her mouth and dig his fingers into her curved hips. Swallowing thickly Daryl averted his eyes as he realized he could see Valentine's hard nipples through the wet clothing.

'Fucking perv,' he scolded himself for being so drawn to her savage looking appearance.

"Practice," he finally grunted in response to Glenn before tipping his chin towards the direction of their car, "Let's head back."

Valentine put her blades away and pulled out a rubberband. Daryl watched out of the corner of his eye as she raked her hair up and out of her eyes, securing it in a tight ponytail. He could see more scars on her cheek and jawline but what caught his eye was the narrow length of her neck and soft line of her face. He could see the dip in her lip from her profile and the length of her dark lashes. Daryl blinked and chewed his cheek to distract himself from that line of thought. There was no room for sexual attraction in the new world, especially while out on runs. He needed to be alert and ready not daydreaming about a woman lips and how he wanted to suck on the pouty lower one. Or how he bet her mouth was hot and wet and sweet. 'Fuck, stop it Dixon.' He growled inwardly.

Valentine's hand shot out, grabbing his arm and yanking him downward. Glenn followed suit as he noticed them crouching.

"People." She hissed, ticking her head to their vehicle. Daryl ground his teeth as he saw three men crowded around it, looking through the windows and pacing the area. They were waiting for them to return that much was certain and they didn't look like the type to be making friends.

"Back up and away." Daryl instructed, the three of them moving backwards as quietly as possible. A cracking behind them had Daryl swirling around with his bow up, coming face to face with a rifle barrel.

"Drop it." The guy ordered, his gun scanning over all three while whistling loudly. Valentine started to circle him much like she would other prey. The man's gun jumped to her allowing Daryl to raise his bow. Just as he got a shot lined up several other footsteps approached. They were surrounded now by four men with guns and machetes. Daryl's eyes jumped to Glenn, to find the man's jaw clenched and his weapon pointing at the new threats.

"Drop them weapons boys." A new arrival demanded, his hand holding a revolver.

A scuffle behind Daryl had him glancing back to see Valentine grappling with the first man. He saw she had disarmed him and busted his nose before any of his friends could intervene.

Daryl watched in horror as one man held her and another knocked her out with what looked like a brutal blow to the head with a rifle butt. He tried to rush them but ended up tackled to the ground and kicked in the ribs. His face was pressed into the forest floor as he watched blood trickle from Valentine's temple and pool on her eye.

"Jesus that bitch is crazy." The guy with the busted nose mumbled as he tied her wrists together.

"Shut up Jones, don't be a pussy." Another man joked with a gruff laugh. Glenn was shoved to the ground and hit in the face repeatedly before being tied to a tree. Daryl struggled with Jones and the leader as they secured him next to Glenn. He kept his eyes on Valentine as she lay crumpled on the ground. Blood was leaking from her head and he could see her hands turning pale from the tight binds they secured her wrists with. He wasn't sure what was going to happen, the only thing he was worried about was the fact she hadn't moved since being hit. The leader paced in front of them for a moment, his hand scrubbing his beard in thought.

"A'right. How bout ya tell us where ya'll are goin' with all these supplies." He drawled finally. Crouching in front of Glenn and Daryl, his grey eyes scanned them critically. "You're to clean to be livin' in your car, so ya got a camp. Where's it at?"

When they didn't respond Daryl was punched in the face while Glenn got a hit to the stomach. He groaned bending over slightly and gasping for air. Daryl spit blood to the side and growled, "Fuck y'all."

The man before him stood and paced around Valentine's downed body. Daryl watched him nervously but kept his face blank. He didn't want them to use her against him for information. Daryl knew he would probably give them whatever they wanted if they started threatening her.

"This is what we're gonna do. Ya'll are gonna stay here and watch'em while me and Nick scout the surrounding area. Ain't gone far, their tank is almost full." He remarked, his eyes watching their reactions. Daryl kept a placid expression but Glenn's face faltered for a split second. The other man's grin grew, "Looks like I'm right. Jones keep your hands to yourself for now. Smitty, eyes open and don't let them die. May need 'em for leverage later."

Daryl watched the two men leave in their truck, a cloud of dust kicking up behind the red taillights. His narrowed eyes slid to Valentine and watched her lay completely still, dead to the world. Anything could happen and she was utterly defenseless. Daryl hadn't felt like such a failure since finding Merle dead and turned. He'd fucked up and let her get hurt again, just like he said he would never allow.

* * *

Valentine started to come to, her eyes blinking through the blood and taking stock of her injuries. A splitting pain shattered through her head and her shoulders ached but otherwise she felt fine. The men were chatting to each other, discussing what to do with them. She kept her movements slow and subtle, her eyes flickering open to get the lay of the land. The man she had injured was still cleaning up the blood gushing from his nose. Valentine concluded she must not have been out for too long if he was still bleeding. She could tell two of the men were no longer present, the only voices she heard were the two within eyesight. The second man was smaller with a rounder stomach. He had a revolver tucked in his waistband and a knife on his belt. She flit her eyes to Daryl and Glenn finding them tied to a tree. Her gaze connected with Daryl's piercing blue eyes, a strange electricity passing between them. He looked relieved to see her awake but still worried about their situation. Moving her hands she could tell there was no way to slip her ties without being seen, they were so tight her fingers were numb. The movement caught Jones's attention and he came strolling over.

"Well well well. The bitch awakens." He taunted his mouth curling into a coy smirk. Valentine wanted to laugh at him. He thought he was intimidating. He had no idea who he was fucking with nor the type of real monsters Valentine had dealt with in the past. It was like dealing with an angry kitten in comparison.

Suddenly she was being yanked upright by her hair. She grunted as Jones pulled her head back, muttering into her ear, "Imma fuck you so hard."

Valentine sneered at him, "You don't have the fucking balls, you pussy." She was pushing him to snap, to slip up and give her an opening to overcome him.

The man's eyes flared at the words and he growled, "I'm gonna tear you up bitch."

"Man leave it be for now. You heard the boss man." Smitty warned leaning against a tree casually.

"Fuck that. You hear the way this cunt is speaking to me?" Jones growled, his face turning red and angry.

Valentine smirked, "You should listen to your boyfriend."

Daryl and Glenn looked horrified at her shit talking. She wasn't really sure what her plan was but she wanted the guy to get upset. She wanted to get him close so she could tear his damn throat out. Her rabid animal side was pushing its way out, stretching at her seams. Valentine felt more like Negan than ever before, pushing buttons to break someone.

"Fucking bitch." He growled stomping forward to slap her hard across the face.

Daryl shouted, "Leave her alone!"

Valentine grinned at the man and drawled, "You hit like my fucking grandmother."

Smitty was holding Jones back as he tried to calm the man down. Valentine glanced at Daryl who was shaking his head trying to get her to stop instigating the men.

"I'm gonna rip you in two bitch!" Jones shouted over Smitty's shoulder. She watched him pace away slightly, both talking quietly but loud enough to tell it was an argument. Valentine maneuvered her legs so she could rise to her feet easily.

Watching the two, Valentine's shoulders rolled forward as she tried to adjust her hands. She felt fairly confident she would be killing one if not all of the men if give a moment of opportunity. Valentine was preparing herself for their next move when Jones started speaking again, "I think ya owe me an apology for breaking my nose."

She sneered, her teeth bared and eyes blazing but stayed silent.

"Come on Sweets the least you could do is suck my cock." He taunted, his hand gripping his belt buckle.

"Go fuck yourself." Daryl growled being unable to listen to the guy speak to her in that way.

"No see she's gonna fuck me." The guy drawled leering at Valentine with a lecherous grin.

She smirked at him and replied, "I'll fuck you."

Daryl growled angrily at the man approaching her. "Oh yeah?" Jones spoke, sounding surprised. He bent at his waist to look at her at eye level.

"Yeah if by 'fuck you' You mean shove my favorite machete so far up your ass you taste the fucking tip, then yeah... I'm gonna fuck you." She talked shit while looking at what weapons he had on him, just a knife. His rifle was propped against a tree.

The guy stood up letting out a loud belly laugh and drawled, "Your bitch has got a mouth on her."

"You have no idea." She muttered. Jones took a step forward and grabbed her chin, yanking her towards his face. Valentine spit on him, causing his hand to whip out in retaliation, slapping her across the face and cutting the inside of her cheek. Blood filled her mouth and she smiled widely. Her teeth coated in the crimson liquid gave her maniacal grin an even creepier feel. Daryl snarled at the sight of her being hurt. Jones grabbed her hair and started yanking her away from the others towards the car. Smitty exclaimed, "Stop man, he ain't gonna be happy."

"Fuck him. You can have a ride when I'm done." He rasped, his hand fisted in Valentine's hair as he tugged her across the ground. She struggled against him but couldn't get free. Jones pushed her into the back seat her arms pinned underneath her. He climbed inside closing the door before yanking at her clothing. She struggled with him, grunting as he grabbed and yanked her hair.

"Fucking cunt. Now you're gonna regret being a bitch." He growled his hands pulling on her shirt. Valentine growled and threatened, "I'm going to kill you and your friends."

"How are you gonna do that?" he asked with a hearty laugh. Valentine grinned and described, "I'm going to gut you nuts to sternum, then I'm gonna strangle your friend out there. Maybe I'll just shoot the others but maybe I'm slit their throats."

She spoke evenly and without fear, her eyes dark and gleaming as she adjusted to free her feet from underneath him. She could see a flash of worry at her claims but he laughed through it. "Right. I'd love to see you try." Smirking she drawled, "A'right."

Valentine brought her leg up, kicking him in the face and pinning him to the door, a boot to his throat. His arms swung out trying to hit her but she had him smashed into the door. She pulled back her other heavy boot and stomped on him until he slumped over. Grinning wildly she moved her arms under her ass and slid her legs through her bound wrists. Pulling his knife out of the sheath she braced it between her feet and cut her wrists free, wiggling her fingers until she felt them again. Jones started to wake up, his eyes fluttering open to find her holding his knife. She grinned even wider and rasped, "This is gonna hurt."

Lunging forward she stabbed him in the gut, pulling it up and spilling his insides to the seat as promised. Holding his throat she watched his eyes blink slowly before going dark. Her chest was heaving, sweat dripping down her spine giving her a chill. She knew it was fucked up, she knew it was wrong but she enjoyed killing the bastard more than anything she'd done since leaving Sanctuary.

'Fucking psycho,' she scolded herself while sliding backwards to the other door. She climbed out into the woods, hidden from the other men. Crawling along the edge of the trees she circled until Smitty was standing obliviously in front of her. Contemplating how she should kill him she opted for a quiet death. Moving closer and hiding behind a tree trunk she took a calming breath before launching at him. She clung to his back, choking him with the rope from her wrists. He tried to free himself, stumbling along the ground but her legs were like a vice around his ribs. Valentine could hear Daryl and Glenn struggling to get free but she didn't bother to look over. The man clawed at her arms and then slammed her back into a tree trunk several times making her grunt in pain but eventually dropped to his knees. Valentine yanked even harder and growled into his ear, "Die motherfucker."

Soon he blacked out, and went limp, falling to ground face first. Valentine let the rope go but could tell he was only unconscious. Grabbing him by the chin and the crown of his head, she twisted with a sharp tug. The sound of his neck breaking audibly made her sigh in relief. She stood up and looked over at the bound men who were staring at her with wide eyes and open mouths.

"How'd you get free?" Glenn asked rubbing his wrists as she cut them loose.

"Killed him. There's a little bit of a mess in the backseat. Sorry." She spoke but couldn't help but smirked darkly. Daryl was looking at her with worried eyes, "Ya ok?"

"Oh I'm fine." she replied standing up rubbing her back and adding, "Gotta hide until the others come back."

"What?" Glenn exclaimed, "Why? Let's just go before they come back."

"So they can circle the area and find the prison? Who knows maybe they found it already," She explained adding somewhat snidely, "Don't worry. I'll take care of the fucking dirty work."

"Stop." Daryl grunted, "Glenn go to the car. You're hurt. Me and Val will take care of the other two. We can't let em go. They'll show up on our doorstep."

"We can't just kill everybody." Glenn stated wiping blood from his lip while holding his ribs.

"You know that isn't what this is." Daryl drawled, "These aren't the type of men we want in our backyards."

Sighing Glenn headed to the car, opening the back door to find the mess Valentine had left. "Jesus!" he hollered, jumping back as the guy fell out onto the dirt, his innards spilling out further.

"Oh sorry." She apologized coming over to pull the dead body out. The seat was covered in blood and gore, making Glenn gag to the side. Valentine pulled the guys jacket off and wiped the seats down.

"There, good as new." She announced but saw the looks on both of their faces. "What? Should I have let him rape me?"

"Nah, jus'…" Daryl drawled but didn't finish the statement, "Nevermind. Glenn get in. We'll wait for them.

Valentine watched Glenn climb inside and then glanced at Daryl offering, "You don't have to stay. No reason to dirty your hands too."

"Ain't leavin' ya and my fuckin hands are plenty dirty."

"Still."

"Still stayin'. Now shuddup and hide behind a fucking tree or somethin'."

"Yes Sir, Mr Dixon, Sir." She quipped crouching behind a bush. She watched him look at her with a smirk and rolling his eyes. "Smartass. Don't do nothin' stupid." He grunted holding his bow ready for the arrival of the other two men.

It seemed like hours before the men arrived but in reality it must have been twenty minutes. Valentine heard the crunch of tires and then two car doors opening and then slamming shut.

"Jones! Smitty!" A voice called out. The men walked into the clearing and found their dead friends. Before they could locate them, Daryl let a bolt fly, the sharpened tip burying deep into the leader's eye socket. Valentine used her rusty yet still lethal knife throwing skills to land a blade into the last man's stomach. He gripped it with shocked eyes and dropped to his knees.

"Shit." She muttered angry that her aim wasn't better. Walking forward she held the hilt and yanked the sharp instrument out and spoke evenly, "You should've kept walking."

Blood ran out of his mouth as he grasped her clothing with bloodied hands.

"Please." He rasped, the pain making him cringe.

Valentine shook her head and replied, "You were dead as soon as you laid hands on us." Taking the knife she cut his throat and then put him down with a stab to the temple. Turning around she found Daryl yanking his bolt out of the dead's mans skull. He looked up at her with dark eyes. She could tell he wasn't regretting his actions, just that they had to be done at all.

"Let's go." He drawled wandering back towards the car. Valentine did a quick search of their bodies and found a pack of smokes and zippo lighter. Taking her goodies she followed the bowman to the car. Glenn hadn't seen what happened with the other two thankfully. Valentine didn't need more ammunition against her. The guy already seemed to dislike her and she was sure now that he saw what she was capable of, the others at the prison would too. 'There's no way they'll let you stay now Val. You showed them the monster. Negan would be so proud.' She sneered angrily at herself.

"Got nothin' t'worry about." Daryl assured from next to her as they approached the car. Valentine snorted, "I didn't take you for an optimist."

"I ain't but I'm right 98% of the time." He replied with a tiny grin as he pulled his bow off his back.

Rolling her eyes she teased, "And modest too!"

* * *

"What did they want?" Rick asked with crossed arms as Hershel and Carol listened to Daryl explain the incident. Maggie was cleaning up Glenn's injuries, her eyes landing on Valentine every few minutes. She could see the woman was either surprised for her helping her husband or leery of how crazy he made her sound. Valentine was pretty sure he would describe the mess he found in the backseat and her ability to snap a guys neck with her bare hands and then everyone would protest her residency at the prison.

"Wanted to find our camp. One guy tried to…" he trailed off his eyes landing on Valentine.

"He wanted to rape me." She completed his sentence while leaning against the table top looking bored. Everyone's eyes widened at her casual statement but she shrugged and added, "What? Its what most men out there want. To take advantage."

"I wouldn't say most men." Hershel responded with a frown.

"No offense Hershel but you haven't seen the depravity I have. When you grow a pair of tits and live amongst animals like that then you can tell me mankind is still civilized." Valentine responded before muttering, "I'm gonna go clean up."

Walking away from the group she entered the cellblock but stopped when her name was called.

"Val," Maggie hollered, jogging up to her. "Thank you for saving Glenn."

Her eyes widened at the gratitude and made her shift her feet awkwardly. "No problem. It's what we do right?"

"Yeah, just…" Maggie trailed off not finishing the thought. Valentine could guess the end of the sentence though. 'Its just you seem like a feral dog that doesn't give a shit about human life.'

"Just thanks." Maggie repeated and nodded her head before going back to her husband.

* * *

Valentine cleaned up, washing the blood from her skin and hair. The cut on her head was small but bleeding again after the shower. Using her own first aid kit she applied ointment and a bandage. Sitting on her bunk she looked at her scratched and bruised arms. The man she strangled had gouged at her skin trying to save his life. Valentine wondered if it was wrong that she felt so little for killing people now. She knew they were bad people, that they had probably done what they had dozens of times over. Maybe they'd even done worse, brutalized people in worse ways. They weren't innocent and weren't contributing to society, whatever that was. She just couldn't find it in her to care. They had tried to hurt her and they had hurt her friends.

'Friends' she thought with a wry smile. 'Is that what these people are?'

Valentine wasn't sure she would call many of them friends, more like acquaintances but a few… Well a few were getting there and one in particular was embedding himself even closer still. Daryl was working his way under her skin and try as she might Valentine couldn't stop from feeling close to the gruff man. There was something about the way he stood in a room, silently and unseen yet still in charge. Despite his obvious leadership skills he remained in the background, only spoke when it was important and controlled a situation easily. He didn't even seem to notice the traits but Valentine did. Daryl was attractive in more ways than just looks and she was drawn to him. It confused her and made guilt dig into her chest like tree roots, embedded and stubborn. There was no way in Valentine's mind that the situation was remotely acceptable. She didn't deserve to enjoy someone in that way. Not after everything she'd done and everything that was done to her. She was grotesque, inside and out.


	19. Chapter 19

Later in the evening Valentine caught up with Daryl who was patrolling the fence line. They had added more security because of the run in with outsiders. It didn't seem like they belonged to another group but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Ya doin' aright?" Daryl asked as he saw Valentine rubbing her ribs. She looked over and nodded but explained, "I think I got a cracked rib."

Daryl's eyes widened and he pointed at the prison, ordering, "Go up and see Hershel now. I thought you said you weren't hurt."

Shrugging she explained, "I felt fine, it's just really sore now. Can you just look at it?"

"No. Go see Hershel." He repeated, his eyes narrowed and mouth downturned into a frown.

"Fuck that. I don't need him looking at me like a damn freak."

Shaking his head Daryl assured her, "He doesn't look at you like a freak."

"Whatever." She grumbled walking away and heading towards the prison. If Daryl wouldn't help her, Valentine would ask Michonne. She didn't want to expose her scars to anyone anymore. She could handle Daryl or Michonne, even Rick but she didn't want anyone else ogling her. Valentine also knew as soon as Hershel saw them again he would start asking about them. She didn't want to think about it or talk about it. It was bad enough to have dealt with it earlier in the day when Glenn had brought them up.

Finding Michonne eating in the common room she asked her to look at the injury but the woman's eyes focused on someone behind Valentine. Turning she found Daryl shaking his head and mouthing 'Hershel'.

Narrowing her eyes at both of them Valentine growled and stomped away into the cellblock.

'Fuck it and fuck them', she thought irritably, her back and side throbbing but walking as if nothing was wrong. She headed to the bathroom to get a look in the mirror of the damage and to inspect the bruising herself.

'Fuck it, you've had worst,' she thought defiantly turning on two camp lights to see the injury. She pulled her shirt off gingerly and turned but twisting made her gasp in pain. Clutching her side Valentine twisted as far as she could and saw the mottled bruising across her scarred back and ribs. It was hard to tell with the limited light and the amount of scarring how bad it was. Using two fingers she felt each rib but gasped as she hit an incredibly tender spot. Her vision went spotty as the pain exploded and her breath caught in her throat. She missed hearing the door open and wasn't aware of someone coming towards her until a hand grasped her elbow. Yanking away Valentine yelped as she twisted and saw it was Hershel followed by Michonne.

"Goddamnit Michonne," she growled reaching for her shirt but Hershel stopped her.

"Let me look." He ordered firmly his eyes not leaving hers. Valentine ground her teeth and turned around from him to see the injury. She heard him intake a sharp breath and the hand on her elbow tighten slightly. Listening to him move slightly for better light, Hershel then warned her he was going to touch the injury.

His hand was gentle as he surveyed the bruising looking for breaks. Valentine held herself stock-still and only made a noise when her body revolted against his touch. She was taking slow measured breathes through her nose and clenching her teeth. It was like being back in Sanctuary. Holding in the pain to keep Negan from enjoying it so much.

"I don't feel any breaks but..." the older man started but trailed off.

Sighing Valentine finished the sentence for him, "It's hard to tell with so much scar tissue. I know. Doc used to say the same thing."

Hershel kept probing the skin as he asked, "They had a doctor there?"

"Only way I'm alive after all this. Sewed me up after every fight and… penance" she responded hesitantly. 'This is why I didn't want to see Hershel. Fuck Dixon and Fuck Michonne.' She though angrily as the man continued to look at her disfigured back.

"What made these cuts?" he asked gently, holding the light closer to see the scarring.

"A baseball bat wrapped in barbwire." Valentine was surprised the others hadn't told him yet.

Hershel hummed at the statement but continued to examine some of the scars on her ribs and then asked her to turn around. Valentine hesitated but turned so he could see the rest of her marred torso.

The gray haired man looked at the long cut on her abdomen and the numerous scars across her arms, shoulders and chest. She looked war torn in every respect.

"Can I get dressed now?" She asked her tone tight with anxiety. Hershel nodded and stepped back as she gently pulled the shirt on over her head while her eyes stayed on anything but the man or woman before her.

"Nothing seems broken. You might have a fracture or two but there's not much to be done. I'd say restrict your lifting, twisting and using your blades." Hershel diagnosed with a physician's tone but then his voice softened, "I'm sor-…"

She didn't want his pity, "Are we done?"

Hershel gazed at her moment before nodding and stepping aside. Valentine brushed past Michonne and headed out of the bathroom. She moved through the darkened hallways away from the cellblock and into the administration building. It wasn't as secure but she didn't want to see anyone. She was irritated at Daryl and Michonne for making her see Hershel. She was pissed at Hershel for the pity in his eyes. Most of all she was pissed at herself for being what she was. Weak and broken.

Valentine slid a blade out despite Hershel's advice and moved through the winding hallways. They should be cleared but with the breach in the back anything was possible. She slunk through the creepy corridors the only light coming from her tiny maglite. Taking a few turns eventually she found herself in front of the wardens office. Opening the door and clearing it she searched the drawers out of habit. The bottom one was locked making her curious. Taking a letter opener off the leather desktop she jammed it in to pop the cabinet open. The mahogany drawer slid easily and Valentine found the wardens secret stash, a bottle of Jameson whiskey, a few cigars and tiny 38 special. Smirking she put the gun on the desktop and pulled out the booze and cigars. She poured herself a couple fingers of liquor and leaned back in the desk chair, her feet propped up on the corner. Sipping it slowly she hissed at the burn but took another immediately. After a couple sips the ache in her back lessened and the anger of the day faded.

'Should've started drinking years ago,' Valentine thought humorously.

An hour later she felt pleasantly buzzed but still aware as she found out when a sound perked her ears up. Holding up the tiny revolver she checked the chamber and waited for whoever was roaming to enter. She was pretty sure it wasn't a walker but she was buzzed enough to not give a shit if it was. The footsteps stopped near the office door and then the doorknob turned slowly. Valentine watched Daryl peek in and see the gun pointed at him, his eyes widening slightly. She lowered in onto the desk and held up the bottle.

"Wants some whiskey?" She asked swishing the bottle lazily. Daryl brow furrowed but then he smirked. "Hell yeah."

Valentine poured him a healthy serving and slide it across the desk, then poured herself another. She had a feeling she was going to be shitfaced after a second but she couldn't bring herself to care. Leaning back again they sat silently drinking until Daryl muttered, "Sorry about earlier. I shoulda just helped ya."

"Yeah well can't change it. Just like everything else, what's done is done." She reasoned her head tilted back and her eyes closed. Feeling his intense stare on her, Valentine peeled one eyelid open and grunted, "Huh?"

"Just... thought ya'd say like, that's ok... or forgive me 'n shit." He mumbled while slamming back the last of his booze. Valentine shrugged, "You're forgiven. Feel better?"

"Nah I don't. Feels like you're just sayin it cause I said it."

"That's because I am. Look Daryl it was shitty to make me expose myself to someone. I don't need his pity or sympathy. I don't need him looking at how fucked up I am and surmising I'm a terrible person. I don't need..." She shook her head and looked away for a long tense moment before continue with a tightened voice, "I don't need people seeing me like that. It was bad enough doing it front of all those fuckers in Sanctuary. Fuckin' put up there like some piece of meat. Tortured in front of a crowded like entertainment."

Valentine threw back the rest of the amber fire and chucked the glass at the wall, the crystal exploding onto the drywall and carpet. Standing up she paced a few circuits, Daryl was chewing on his thumb and watching her, obviously thrown off by her sudden outrage. After a few minutes of heavy silence she spoke quietly yet passionately, "I can't stand myself and having people look at me... like that... It's hard enough when it's people I know and trust in other situations. What pissed me off most is I fucking know you know how that feels."

Daryl shifted in his seat and dropped his chin to his chest. Nodding a few times he made eye contact through his shaggy bangs rasping, "M'sorry I put ya in that situation... I wasn't thinkin' about how ya'd feel about your scars. Fuck Val. M'sorry."

Valentine stood with her arms crossed still feeling defensive but her resolve cracked under his remorseful gaze and she sighed, "Fine you're forgiven forgiven okay?"

Daryl bit his lip covering up his grin and bobbed his head a couple times. "Good, now how bout one more round."

Valentine threw her head back and laughed heartily. It was a real laugh that caught both of them by surprise. She snapped her mouth shut and felt a weird sense of nostalgia. 'Laughing,' she pondered inwardly, 'I forgot how nice that felt.'

Her eyes slid to Daryl's whose expression was one of surprise and amusement. It made Valentine feel self-conscious. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she had laughed out loud and she wasn't exactly sure how she felt about it.

Laughing felt... wrong.

She shouldn't laugh.

There wasn't shit to laugh at in the world. Her husband and son were dead. Murdered. She had fucked their killer. She'd killed dozens and dozens of people. How could she just laugh like that? All of these things were racing through her mind and she felt her face turn from amused, to saddened, to ashamed. Her chin dropped to her chest and she glared at the floor. Angry tears flooded her eyes and she felt her spine collapse onto itself. Everything inside her felt rotten. Valentine felt deep guilt for her family's deaths. She had at some point convinced herself that she didn't deserve to be happy anymore. There was no room for happiness in a world filled with such sorrow.

So much death, so much pain.

No, laughter wasn't something she would allow herself. It felt to good.

Shaking her head Valentine screwed the top back on the bottle and handed it over without making eye contact. Daryl took it from her and she walked out of the office. Moving quickly, Valentine's light bounced along the floor and walls. The floor felt different and her body moved oddly.

'Fuckin' drunk Val.' She scolded herself. Trying to focus more she turned a corner and slammed into the chest of someone tall. The smell of rot hit Valentine's nose and she flailed backwards. Her hands only held the flashlight, she had been so preoccupied she was unarmed. Grappling for the hilt of her machete while pushing on the chest of the walker she stumbed backwards. The corpse was snarling and clutching at her jacket, it's fingers digging into the flesh of her arms.

"Fuck you. Fucker!" She growled as her hand finally got to her blade. Valentine's attacker suddenly fell away and she heard heavy footsteps approaching quickly. She turned her head and saw Daryl looking over her nervously.

"Ya bite? It get ya?" He asked desperately pulling her arms out, checking her jacket for tears while gripping the flashlight in his mouth. Valentine was panting hard and shaking her head.

"I think I'm ok." She choked and bending over feeling dizzy, her hands on her knees as she gasped. The overwhelming terror she felt while wrestling the corpse while unprepared was suffocating her. Daryl hand laid flat on her lower back, rubbing small circles as he reassured, "You're a'right Val. Come on, let's go back."

Valentine stood up and turned to look at Daryl. He was much closer than she thought as his nose grazed her cheek. A spike of pleasure went through Valentine and her breath caught in her throat. His hand flexed on her back, his fingertips gently applying pressure, pushing her closer. Valentine felt his breath quicken as soft puffs of air hit her face. He smelled of cigarettes, whiskey and the roasted squirrel from dinner. Valentine rolled her lip between her teeth nervously and focused on his chest. Daryl's other hand came up to her face, his calloused palm framing her jaw as he tilted her head up.

"Ya deserve t'laugh, it ain't bad." He rasped his striking blues moving between her eyes and her lips. Valentine felt her throat thicken and she tried swallowing the lump forming. Shaking her head she murmured, "I don't deserve anything."

Daryl's hand stayed in place but his fingers moved slightly into her hair. She felt a shiver run through her body and her pulse quicken. Daryl leaned closer his scruffy cheek brushing against hers while he drawled into her ear, "Ya deserve so much more than ya got Val. Wish we got to that place long before we did, wish ya hadn't ended up there. Ya deserve to be happy."

She forced her head down causing his hand to shift. It was now buried in her hair, cupping the back of her head. Laying her forehead against the center of his chest she clutched his leather vest.

"I can't. I... Just can't. I'm here and they're... they're dead and I watched them die and my son... he.. tried to save me and Negan just." She squeezed her eyes shut at the images but they assaulted her just the same. Her boy jumping in front of the madman trying to protect his mother. The fountain of blood from her little boy's head as the monster took aim again and again.

"Michael tried to protect me and he... there was nothing left of his face."

She spoke in such a detached tone she wasn't sure whose voice it was. Daryl's heart was slamming so hard against his chest Valentine felt it against her forehead. Sniffing loudly Valentine tried to step back but Daryl held her still, "Don't pull away."

"Dixon. Stop." She gasped, her hands pushing on his chest.

He held her still though and stated, "Ok jus'... I'm sor-"

"Stop! I don't wanna hear sorrys, I can't hear that. I don't deserve it. I don't. He's dead because of me. So is my husband. If Paul had just done what Negan wanted instead of trying to save me then they'd be alive. They both died because of me."

"And where would ya be huh? One of Negan's wives?"

She narrowed her eyes and shouted, "It didn't even matter! I ended up fucking him anyways! At least they'd be alive. I'm not worth their lives."

Daryl flinched at her statement and growled, "Woman, I ain't gonna listen to this shit anymore."

Valentine yanked away from him and stomped a few feet away, spinning around to face him. "Why Daryl? Why do you give a fuck? Huh?" She shouted her hands balled and eyes gleaming with unshed tears, "I'm nothing! I'm nobody!"

Daryl stomped forward, pointing at her aggressively and snarled, "Ya ain't nothin'." His chest was heaving as he glared down at her. "Val.. Jesus Val, you're... You're." Daryl trailed off shaking his head in disbelief or confusion.

Valentine huffed out an angry breath and growled, "I'm what? Huh? Fucked up? Broke? I get it Dixon... Look I get you want to... to fix me or whatever but it isn't fucking possible okay? It just isn't."

Daryl rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger before looking at her with what seemed like grief. "Ya ain't broke and ya sure as fuck ain't nothin. Goddamnit Val."

He huffed out a frustrated breath before reaching forward and grabbing her shirt, pulling her towards him. "Ya don't get it. You're not nothing, you're fucking everything… You. Are. Everything."

Valentine went from anger to confusion then morphed into something she couldn't pinpoint. Daryl watched as her eyes flooded and lip trembled until she bit down. He moved slowly, his hand letting go over her shirt and drifting up to cup her cheek. It was the second time he'd touched her like that but it felt different. He basically confessed to caring deeply for her. There weren't many other ways she could've taken his declaration. Daryl watched her closely as he tilted her face upwards, the tears flooding her eyes now overflowed creating slow moving tracks along her cheeks. Stroking his thumb through them he rasped hoarsely, "Don't cry sweetheart."

Valentine's eyes squeezed shut at the plea and she muffed a sob with her hand. Curling in on herself Valentine pressed her forehead into Daryl's warm chest, her hands curled into his flannel. Daryl wrapped his arms around her as sobs rip through her slim frame.

"I gotcha." He promised, his hand stroking her shuddering back. Valentine clung to him until only the sound of her sniffing could be heard.

"You don't get it." She mumbled into his chest, "you don't see."

"See what?" he inquired, pulling back to look down at her.

"What a monster I really am Daryl. You think you know but you don't."

Daryl titled his head slightly and rasped, "What don't I know?"

Valentine huffed and looked away, her chin wobbling as she suppressed another round of sobs. Daryl watched her closely as she began to drown in her guilt and shame.

"I... miss it... Sanctuary." She whispered her eyes widening at the words spilling out of her mouth, "I miss... him. And I know, I know in my heart that it's wrong. That its soooo wrong and gruesome and disgusting. I fucking hate myself."

Daryl watched her swallow thickly, her eyes searching him for a response. Daryl looked at a loss to say to that statement.

"I know what you're thinking. I don't understand it either... I spent all my time wanting to get away... Hating him, wanting to kill him but when I did... I regretted it. I... grieved for him. I wanted. Sometimes I want to kill myself because of it."

"No." He snapped, demanding, "don't say that. Don't even think it. It's not your fault."

Shaking her head Valentine whispered, "It is. I'm a horrible person."

Trying to get through to her Daryl explained, "He was a psychopath."

"I know."

Shaking his head emphatically, "No you don't get it. He fucked with your mind. Ya spent a year being abused by him. He made ya depend on 'im. Hurt ya n' made expect t'be hurt. Ya may not have been a wife but you were in some kinda twisted fucked up abusive relationship with'em."

She shook her head in response and was about to speak when Daryl gripped her chin and spoke firmly, "It ain't your fault."

Valentine had to confess. She hadn't told anyone what she did to get him vulnerable. She'd glazed over it with Michonne and she knew they had all guessed what deplorable acts she had committed but no one knew the full details. No one knew she had enjoyed it. Enjoyed being with him in some disturbing up way.

"I fucked him Daryl... I." She swallowed tasting bile from saying it out loud, whispering, "Some part of me.. Some fucked up part of me  _enjoyed_  it. I... I…"

Daryl cupped her cheek again and rasped, "It ain't you're fault."

"Daryl. I fucking came! I... he." She stammered seeing the man in front of her grimace at the confession but push it away to hide his real feelings on the matter. She shook her head and muttered, "I know what that makes me. I know what I am. I can't be what you want. I can't be who you deserve."

"It ain't your fault." He repeated again his eyes strained, "Your body reacting to it, it ain't on you."

She snorted and tried to pull away again, "Daryl please let me go."

His hands dropped instantly, "m'sorry I jus, don't like ya sayin' shit like that. Ya ain't bad and ya deserve to live. Your family would want ya t'be happy. Ain't no way they'd be upset to see you survived."

'Survive Val... Survive.' She thought with new eyes, asking herself, 'Did he mean more than just being alive? Did he mean for me to move on?'

Without speaking any longer they left the admin building, clearing it of threats. Once at the cellblock entrance Daryl made sure to secure the doorways. They would need to do another thorough clearing with the walker they found.

Valentine headed to her cell but Daryl followed her closely. Turning towards him she raised an eyebrow. He shifted his feet and brushed his lip contemplatively. "Wanna hunt tomorrah?"

Her eyebrow rose higher and she tilted her head. Pursing her lips for a moment while looking at his nervous posture and shifty eyes. Giving in she muttered, "Ok."

He bobbed his head and rolled his lip between his teeth, "Be up at sunrise."

Valentine nodded once and went inside her cell, pulling the curtain closed. Sitting down heavily she stared at her shaky hands. The whole experience of talking and getting caught off guard had shaken her.

'You're losin it Val,' she told herself.

* * *

Daryl waited in the courtyard for Valentine so they could leave for a hunt. He had spent all night replaying their conversations. He couldn't help but be disturbed by her confessions about Negan and the Sanctuary. Daryl had known what she had done in order to kill the man. Not everything obviously but deep down he knew what she had done. However he hadn't thought she would've been confused about what she felt for the man. It made sense now that he knew but it didn't make it any less surprising when she confessed it.

Daryl figured spending a year being mind washed by some sadistic bastard would fuck anyone up. He'd seen similar situations before. His own mother stuck with an abusive asshole for no other reason than a misguided belief that deep down he loved her. She took beating after beating thinking she deserved it, that it was normal, that it was just. Even Carol had spoke about how psychologically messed up she was from being married to Ed. How she protected him from being arrested, cleaned him up after Shane almost beat him to death. Valentine hadn't been Negan's wife, she hadn't chosen to be with him but she was nonetheless in an abusive relationship with the asshole.

It almost killed him to hear her say she was nothing and nobody. He hadn't been able to hold in his confession of caring for her. Knowing it was probably too soon for her to hear such a thing made him want to back pedal and run away but he decided she needed to hear it. Valentine needed to know that she wasn't alone, that she was somebody, especially to him. He couldn't ignore the feelings he had been developing for her. He couldn't ignore the way his eyes were constantly looking for her or the way his heart sped up as she entered a room. Valentine was quickly becoming someone important in his life. She was becoming more than a friend and more than family. It was more than just wanting her, he needed her. Ached for her. Daryl hoped that taking a hunting trip together would not only relax her from being away from the prison but also help her see what was standing in front of her. He hoped she would see what they could be together and how much better it would be to have that.

 


	20. Chapter 20

The hunting trip had been relaxing and enlightening. They didn't speak much but had communicated throughout the daylong trek. Valentine was surprised at how easily it was for the pair to read each other's expressions and gestures. Daryl had tracked a stag for miles and eventually landed a bolt into its neck. She had never field dressed an animal and had only ever skinned a fish. He was an excellent instructor, calmly and patiently showing her the best ways to skin and gut the animal. He was in his element and she couldn't help but watch him with sidelong glances. They hadn't spoke of the night before or his stilted confession of caring for her but there wasn't any awkwardness from it.

The hike back was slower, both carrying meat from the kill wrapped in waterproof canvas. Daryl of course took more of the weight stating it was bad enough she had done so much hiking with possible cracked ribs. Valentine rolled her eyes a muttered, "I've had worse."

"Yeah well it ain't happenin' again." He drawled shouldering the giant pack and titling his head to the path, "Go on now, take us home."

She took them down they're previous tracks. Her eyes tracing the forest floor to observe as Daryl had instructed. Tracking wasn't something she knew well. Valentine could make out human or walker prints but seeing not much more than the difference in boot tread. Daryl had described the difference in prints due to height, weight and sex. He pointed out how long ago the print was made, something she was still struggling to grasp. Valentine knelt a few times getting pointers on the variety of animal prints.

The entire trip had somehow centered Valentine. She had felt out of sorts ever since leaving Sanctuary. Being in that place had become normal and maybe even comfortable or at least something she was accustomed to. The time spent in the woods with Daryl where her focus wasn't on the past helped her take a few steps forward in recovering. She'd spent so long fighting and killing that moving through the woods learning something new, something used to survive that didn't involve her murdering someone was… relaxing.

Glancing at the man moving beside her, his bow across his front and the huge package of buck meat on his back. Daryl trusted her to protect them both by being essentially unarmed. It made her chest feel full and her cheeks flush. She wasn't sure what that meant but decided it must be something similar to pride. Daryl didn't seem the type to trust many folks, so allowing himself to have his guard down with her meant something. Something good Valentine thought. It gave her a little hope that maybe she could do the same with him.

* * *

Two new people, Bob and Jack, had joined the prison group while Valentine and Daryl had been hunting. Valentine hadn't met them yet but heard a few women talking about how good looking the one man was. Rolling her eyes she walked outside into the courtyard to see what Michonne was up to. The women hadn't trained in a few days and she wanted to work on some hand-to-hand training with someone at her level. She enjoyed training Carl but it wasn't as challenging. Michonne's back was to her when Valentine approached to see her chatting with the gossiped about new member. The guy was handsome Valentine supposed but nothing to write home about.

'Desperate housewives,' she thought wryly.

As she joined the pair she saw the baseball bat sticking out of his backpack. Her feet faltered and she froze mid stride. Valentine swallowed thickly, the sharp acidic taste of sick making her grimace. All the blood drained from her face as she panted quickly. She was losing control of herself, falling into a downward spiral.

Michonne looked over at her pale face and clenched fists surprised by her terrified appearance.

"Val? You alright?" She asked but Valentine couldn't respond, her eyes were only focused on the bat sticking out above the man's shoulder. It wasn't wrapped in barbwire or nearly as stained with deep dark blood but still struck fear in her bones. She clenched her jaw and shook her head before storming away towards the fences. Valentine was surprised by her reaction and was furious with her weakness. It wasn't him and it wasn't Lucille but the primal urge to kill the man and break the bat into a thousand pieces had her reeling. As she reached the fence she took out her knife and began dispatching walkers. She kept a rhythm of stabbing and sidestepping until her arm throbbed and hand shook. Her senses were consumed with the smell of rot and the salty taste of sweat dripping from her nose.

'You need me,' her specter's voice sneered to her. 'Admit it Love.'

Valentine growled, her chest vibrating in anger. 'Fuck you. You're dead, what do you know?'

'I know you miss me,' Negan teased, she could picture the grin that would curl his mouth. Shaking her head Valentine focused on killing, ignoring the haunting words.

The others working the fence kept their distance as they sensed her ire. The whole fence line was strewn with corpses baring the distinctive serrated knife-edge of her blade.

"Val!" Ricks voice hollered from down the perimeter fence. She glanced at him but turned back to the wire fencing. Valentine didn't want him to witness how wrecked she was by seeing a damn baseball bat.

'How fucking pathetic,'she muttered to herself, 'scared of goddamn sports equipment. What's, next clowns?'

"Hey, ya ok?" He asked as he reached her side. Valentine couldn't hide her upset. Her arms dropped and shoulders sagged with exhaustion. Her hands were trembling while dripping black gore to the ground. She watched it speckle the dry grass, the dirt soaking it up like it never existed.

"Michonne said ya seemed... off." Rick rasped, his head cocking to the side as if analyzing her every movement. 'Damn cop,' she thought dryly.

"It's nothing." She mumbled stabbing another dead man, his skull audibly cracking. Rick raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms waiting for her to give in and talk to him.

Growling Valentine stopped working again and muttered, "Just... freaked out seeing a stupid fucking baseball bat ok? Feel better now Grimes?"

"No I don't. Do you?"

"No I feel like a weak little pussy." She snapped before glaring at the other people near them eavesdropping. Rick sighed and stepped closer assuring, "Ya aren't weak. Being triggered like that isn't a weakness."

"Yeah it is Rick. I can't be scared. It's a weakness that could get me killed." She spoke weakly, shaking her head, hair hanging in her eyes.

"You weren't scared of the bat, it reminded you of shit. And being scared ain't weakness anyways."

"Lemme alone Rick." She muttered walking away from the man who was only trying to help. Whatever peace she had found while out in the woods with Daryl was gone. Two steps forward ten steps back. 'Fuck it all,' she growled inwardly.

* * *

Days later Valentine was pacing the prison fence line like a giant cat in a zoo enclosure. She knew it looked crazy and that it was turning people even more wary of her. For the life of her though she couldn't stop. There wasn't even an exact reason why she did it either and if asked, which face it she would be soon, Valentine wouldn't have an answer. She had no idea what record her brain was listening to but it was skipping. Her body hummed with anxiety. A dull thrumming reverberating through her skeleton. Buzzing ebbing and flowing inside her skull. She paced and watched. Her skin was prickly and two sizes too small. Something was going to happen. Someone or something and Valentine had no idea how or why she felt it. The sound of boots on dirt scuffing towards her hooked her eyes. Valentine's wide chocolate irises met Daryl's sharp blue gaze. With narrowed calculating eyes he looked her over. The flit of his observation made her squirm. She knew he would see everything wrong with her and the situation. He would see the dark circles under her eyes and pale pallor despite her days pacing in the Georgian sun. Daryl could see straight through her and because of that there was no way he'd believe her suspicions of an upcoming disaster. He'd see sleep deprivation and heat stroke.

"Whatcha doin' Val?" He rasped his timbre soothing and familiar. Valentine's eyes skittered across him and his wide frame, took in the angular shape of his body yet comfortable posture. She was glad he wasn't looking at her like a rabid dog about to bite. Daryl would be ready if need be but he was still trusting her not to lash out.

"Watching." She replied her eyes flicking back to the woods. Something kept drawing her to the dense trees surrounding them. 'Something's out there.' she thought while worrying her lip.

"What's out there?" He asked with sharp eyes.

Valentine hadn't realized she spoke the statement out loud and felt her cheeks burn. Shrugging she cleared her throat nervously and tried to explain without sounding crazy. "I don't know. I feel something. It feels itchy. I... haven't seen anything yet. But it's gonna happen. Something is."

Daryl slid his bow on his back and tucked his hands under his biceps. With a hip cocked slightly he watched her closely, his mind visibly thinking about her ramblings.

"Ain't seen nothin'?"

Valentine shook her head and pushed sticky hair off her forehead. Her eyes skimmed the trees again and then flitted back to Daryl before returning to the trees. It was like a sharp stick was prodding her brain to keep watch. Something was going to happen. She was sure of it.

"Ya been sleepin?" Daryl inquired his head dipping to catch her eyes again. Valentine rolled hers in return because they both knew she wasn't sleeping. She hadn't been able to sleep much since… well forever and even more since the escape from Sanctuary. Her dreams were riddled with her dead husband and Negan as well as graphic sexual situations. There was nothing good waiting for her when she closed her eyes.

"Gotta keep my eyes open." She muttered half thinking it and half saying it aloud. Daryl's gaze drilled into her at the statement. "Need to come in now Val. Get food, water and rest."

"No. I'm good... Really I'm fine. I gotta watch. It's... There's something coming. From out there. It's... I don't know what ok and I know it sounds weird but... My skin's tight and itchy. Like when something's brewing. Something bad."

Daryl crossed his arms tighter seeming even edgier than when he arrived. She could feel the change in his attitude for the situation. Her ranting and posturing was setting him on guard. Soon he'd take her inside by force. Valentine stopped and faced him, "I'm fine. I'll come inside in a bit."

Turning away she paced further down the line, her hand touching the wire every few feet. She watched the shadows change within the trees and the colors shift from dozens of shades of green. The layers of evergreens and perennials making an interesting texture of woods. Pine needles and oak leaves. Green on green on green. Valentine traced the forests edge, her eyes skipping over tree shapes, shrubs and boulders. Took it the texture of bark and the movement of grasses. She felt like her inner animal, the opened wide raw side of her personality. It came out in the rings when fighting. It brought the pure survival aspect of her mind. The animal was observing though. Taking in everything and analyzing the data. She smelled the rot of walkers and the compost of soil. The garden was using fertilizer they found and the pigs helped also. Here was a slight scent of campfire from the barbecue Carol was using at the moment. There was grilled venison smoke in the air.

When Valentine turned to walk back she saw some kids chatting near the fence and tried to detour around them. She heard the girls talking to the walkers, calling them by names. Her eyes narrowed as she approached and heard Carl snapping at them for it. When she got closer Carl hollered, "Val. Tell them they aren't people, they aren't alive."

Valentine walked up to the group, she watched one girl and the boy with glass tense at her approach. Their eyes widened and they backed up a step. Carl noticed also which caused him to smirk much like his father. Valentine couldn't help but curl her lips in return which probably looked more menacing than amused.

"They aren't people anymore. They aren't alive. They're like rabid animals. They need to be put down so they don't kill you or your family."

"No one gets it," the little blonde girl said defiantly her arms crossed and chin raised. Valentine looked her over and could see an edge to her that wasn't meant for children. She'd stepped over a line at some point and she wasn't a kid anymore in some way. There was still an innocence to the statement but there was also a adamancy of knowing a truth, well what she thought was truth.

"Shuddup Lizzie. You're crazy." Her little sister stated as if it were a commonplace remark. Valentine raised and eyebrow and explained, "Lizzie those things don't think, they don't feel. They're monsters. If you went outside the fence they'd tear you into pieces. Don't name them. Don't talk to them."

The girl sneered at her before stomping away. Valentine had the urge to take her outside and show her what would happen but knew no one would approve. It would be seen as cruel to put a kid in a situation that could get her killed. Turning back to Carl, Valentine gave him a scowl and walked away. Her attention turned back to the forest line, her eyes skipping across the surface of the trees. Carl jogged to her side and warned, "They think you're losing it."

"Can't lose something you don't have." She muttered her eyes cutting down to the kid. Carl snorted and elbowed her playfully, joking, "That's what I said."

Valentine glared at him but fought back a smirk, "Shuddup."

Carl threw his head back and laughed, his blue eyes twinkling so much like her son's. She rolled her eyes and tugged him into a headlock, her feet still cutting a path along the fence line. Carl struggled for a moment until she let him go. He sighed and suggested, "Come on. Let's go in. After we eat I'll help you watch."

She chewed her cheek and looked back at the woods before whispering, "I'm not crazy."

Carl nodded and tipped his head toward the prison, "Well let's show them you're not by actually eating food and resting."

Growling she took another glance at the woods before following the teen up the hill. They moved slowly, her head tilting to see the tree line for as long as possible. She needed to keep watch but she needed to keep people from not trusting her.

* * *

Valentine was slipping over the edge, Daryl was pretty sure anyways. She'd been pacing the fences like a caged animal. Her whole body vibrating with nervous energy. Despite how upsetting her condition was, she was still beautiful. The muscles in her shoulders and legs rippled under her soft skin. He couldn't help but watch her with underlying lust coursing through his veins.

She blew him off with his offer of food and rest. Didn't want it even though it was blindingly obvious she needed it. Daryl could relate completely. When he was in his manic mode no one could bring him back without a fight. Carol could, Rick could but no one else had the ability to rein him in when he was spiraling. He wanted to be that person for Valentine but apparently he wasn't, not yet anyways.

Valentine stalked away, her hand trailing the fence line as she looked for the so-called danger beyond the perimeter. He wasn't sure if she was actually feeling a looming danger or if her lack of sleep and food had made her paranoid. It was probably a bit of both. Trudging up the hill towards the courtyard he met up with Carol. She had grilled up the deer he brought back and everyone was enjoying the added protein. The weird kid with glasses thanked him profusely, wanting to shake his hand and calling him Mr Dixon. He couldn't help but fuck with the kid, slowly licking every finger before giving him a bone crunching handshake. Daryl wanted to snap at him, tell the kid the only man named Mr Dixon was thankfully dead and buried and that even then he didn't deserve the respect of a title like Mr. Instead he held his tongue and grunted out a 'welcome'.

Carol of course gave him the scowl she loved to give when he was being too obstinate or gruff. Rolling his eyes he gave the kid another nod before following Carol to the edge of the courtyard.

"About the run, we can't spare a lot of people. We had a pretty big buildup overnight. Dozens more towards tower three." She spoke bringing Daryl's attention to the fence thick with walking corpses.

Daryl grunted at the sight, muttering, "Ain't surprised, all these loud asses hangin' round. Those kids are down there practically playin' with 'em."

Carol snorted, "Can't stay inside all the time Daryl."

"I know but they don't gotta be hollerin' and hootin' all the time." He grumbled in return. Carol shrugged slightly and ticked her chin towards Valentine, her slim form standing with Carl.

"She ok?" Carol asked her thin eyebrow raised. Daryl could see the concern in her pale grey eyes but knew it stemmed from a nurturing angle not fear. Others feared Valentine but Carol wasn't superficial enough to judge her by her appearance. She wasn't one to judge someone by looking at them.

Making a sound in the back of his throat Daryl shrugged, trying to brush off the conversation. He hadn't spoken about his feelings for the woman to anyone but now felt overwhelmed with the need for advice.

Carol as always waited patiently for Daryl's resolve to break and to finally spill his guts. Groaning he leaned his broad shoulder against the fence post and rasped, "She's... strugglin'."

Carol snorted and crossed her arms, "Really? I didn't notice."

Giving her a narrowed glare without any real heat he drawled, "Shuddup."

Sighing heavily he brought his thumb to his mouth, chewing the rough cuticle off. "They tell ya 'bout the place... 'bout the guy in charge?"

"Negan right?"

"Don't say his name." Daryl snapped, his nostrils flaring in anger. Thinking the name alone made his blood boil but hearing it out loud made him want to punch something. Carol swallowed and apologized, "Sorry… I've heard about the scars... The fights and punishments."

Huffing out a breath he drawled, "All that's nothin' compared to what he did t'her head. She'd prolly take a thousand of those cuts before the real shit he did. The real fucked up shit she had to do."

"Like what?"

Swallowing thickly he felt guilt for talking behind her back crushing him but he needed help digesting Valentine's confessions and he knew if anyone would understand it'd be Carol. She lived through her drunk abusive asshole husband Ed. If there was anyone in the whole prison that would understand the total mind fuck living like that was, it was her.

"Guy made her need him." He spoke roughly his eyes skipping around them to see if anyone was listening. Carol settled against the fence and nodded, her eyes telling him she was understanding where the conversation was going.

"Told her what t'do all day long. Forced her t'do shit... Kill, fight." He watched her walking with Carl, some of her aggression looking as if it were fading. "Made her depend on him and him alone. Wanted her t'agree to be with him, be his wife but it's like she mighta been anyways the way he controlled her."

Carol nodded and responded, "It was an abusive relationship despite her not officially being his wife."

Daryl dipped his chin and drawled, "Yeah. Told her that... She thinks she's a monster just like him... Says she regrets killing him, that she misses the place. Misses him."

Carol pursed her lips and sympathized, "That's all completely normal... Abusive spouse syndrome, hell even Stockholm's would fit her."

Daryl's brow furrowed and Carol expanded, "I've been reading the psychology books in the library, thought it'd be good to have some kind of counseling program here. Anyways, Stockholm's is when someone develops a connection to their captors. Could be feelings, like affection, could be sympathy or even maybe relating to them, understanding their cause or what have you."

Daryl felt a weight lift off his chest. It sounded so familiar that it gave him hope that she could be helped. "So what do we do?"

"Reminder her she isn't bad because of it. Make sure she knows it isn't her fault, that feeling confused isn't weakness." Carol explained her eyes watching the woman in question walk up the hill with Carl. It appeared the kid had gotten her to give in and eat some food. It made Daryl smirk and realize he should've just sent the teen to try in the first place.

"You like her." Carol stated a small grin sliding onto her face. Daryl snorted but couldn't help but blush like some teenage girl. Carol laughed and squeezed his bicep, "That's a good thing Daryl."

"Nah it ain't. She don't need some other asshole tryin' t'get in her pants. It ain't right, she's been through too much." He spoke with a sadness in his voice, his lip firmly chewed between his teeth. Carol gripped his chin and turned his face to hers and spoke firmly, "You know it wouldn't be like that Daryl. You wouldn't hurt her or use her like that. It might not be the time now but I've seen her watch you. I think you could be good for each other."

Huffing, he pulled away from her hand and grunted indifferently.

"Just think about it ok Pookie?" She joked trying to lighten the mood. Rolling his eyes he muttered, "Shuddup."

* * *

Carl and Valentine entered the prison to concerned eyes. She could barely see from being in the sun for days, her eyes struggled to adjust to the dark prison setting. They wandered further into the common room and Carl handed her leftover venison and rice. She gave him a thankful nod and followed the kid to a table. He sat with her giving anyone the stink eye who felt the need to stare and spoke about a new comic he was reading. Valentine listened intently and ignored the prying ears and eyes. Eating slowly to allow her stomach time to adjust to food she chewed methodically. Her hands pulling apart the meat and scooping rice into her mouth. She spoke up occasionally but mainly she watched Carl wave his hands animatedly while discussing his thoughts on the newest story arc. Another body joined the table causing Valentine's body to stiffen and mouth to pause chewing. Her eyes flitted up to meet Rick's friendly eyes. He smirked at her and watched his son be so enthused. Valentine rolled her eyes at the interaction and went back to listening. Carl saw her finish eating and asked, "Would you like more?"

Valentine looked at her plate and then shook her head, "No I'm full."

"I gave you a half portion, you can have more."

"Why'd you give me half?" She asked withy a wrinkled forehead.

Carl rolled his eyes, "Because you haven't been eating. Didn't want you to get sick but if your still hungry you can have more."

Ricks eyes were amused as he watched his son act parental. Valentine shook her head, "Thanks Carl. I'm good."

The teen's eyes narrowed as he reading her expression and looked for a deception but gave in, going instantly back to his comic book topic. Rick snorted and leaned on his elbow to join in. Valentine watched the two speak and felt a strange déja vu. Suddenly she remembered sitting at the kitchen table with her husband and son. Michael was talking to Paul about a robot movie and arguing about which would win in a fight. She had made pancakes and the room smelled of coffee and bacon. Her eyes dropped to her lap and an immense weight compressed her chest. She could hear her son's excited voice and her husband's adorably obnoxious snicker. Biting her lip to hold back a sudden onslaught of emotions Valentine eyes filled with bitter tears. She could hear someone saying her name but she was drowning. A hand touched her shoulder and she flew back in her chair, stumbling away from the table. Tears were rolling down her dirty face and she saw the confused and concerned faces of Rick and Carl. A few others still in the room looked up curious as to what the prison nut job was up to now. Shaking her head slightly to the flashback, the sounds and smells still cluttering her head were interfering with her present mind.

"Val? What's wrong?" Carl asked standing up, his hand up in placating way. She sniffed and swallowed thickly, her eyes cutting to Rick's praying he'd understand but finding him just as confused.

"I... I n-need some air." She stammered before pushing her way outside. As soon as she was in the humid Georgia air she ran. Ran to the fence line and gripped the wires tightly. The warm metal biting into the thin flesh in between her fingers. Her chest was heaving as a full panic attack set in. It was as if the emotional trauma from losing her husband and child had finally caught up to her. A deep chasm opened up inside her and it was as if she were turning inside out, falling into the giant hole while being consumed by it. Collapsing to her knees she sucked in air greedily, her mouth open and dry.

"Val?!" A deep voice called from higher in the yard. She didn't turn. She kept trying to breath but nothing was helping. Her lungs felt starved, her head whooshing without oxygen.

Daryl crouched next to her and pulled her hands off the wire fencing. They were wet and throbbing. When she looked down she noticed her palms covered in blood and fingers laced with tiny cuts from squeezing the metal fencing. Daryl wrapped her hands with a rag and then tilted her chin up to see her face. Valentine sniffed and realized she'd been crying.

"What's going on Val?" He drawled, "Heard ya screamin' from inside."

Valentine looked up with confused eyes and furrowed brow. She hadn't even realized she was screaming and crying. 'That explains not being able to catch my breath,' She thought wryly.

"Talk to me." He rasped firmly. His eyes tracing her face and then checking her hands again. Valentine blinked a few times feeling her eyes puffy from crying.

"I... Just. Sitting there with Rick and Carl. I remembered and Carl's so much like Michael. I" she shook her head violently as the smell of pancakes and bacon invaded again. Grinding her teeth angrily she glared at the forest line. Then it hit her, she couldn't stay. It hurt too much. Being that close to a family. It was too much.

"I need to leave." She said her eye moving to Daryl's, "it's hurts... To be here. I need to go."

Daryl looked at her for a long tense moment before blowing her off, "Nah. Ain't goin' no where. Ya belong here. You're family."

"My family's dead Daryl."

"Not your whole family. Carl, Rick, Michonne... Me. We're your family now. Ya can't leave us." He told her his hand still holding her injured one. Valentine stared at the large tan hand gently holding the cotton to her cuts. The warmth of his palm cupping her well scarred hand. They sat silently for a while before Daryl spoke up even quieter, "I don't want ya to go Val."

Chewing her cheek Valentine leaned against the fence watched the walkers on the exterior barrier. They were moaning and scratching at the wire. More had accumulated since she came out, her apparent screaming bringing them to her.

"I didn't even realize I was screaming."

"I know." He whispered, "I thought... Jesus I thought you were being murdered or somethin'"

Valentine nodded dumbly and looked at the dead grass, her mind still feeling muddled and pained. Valentine looked up and saw the graveyard they had for their lost loved ones. The crosses jutting up and the few with dirt rather than grass. She wondered where her husband and boys bodies ended up. They burned most of the dead in Sanctuary. She supposed they ended up in the bonfire pits. Hell Valentine had probably breathed in their ashes.

Daryl cleared his throat causing her eyes to jump to his. "We can get a marker for your family."

Valentine looked back and shook her head, "Doesn't matter. They're gone."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

She pulled her hand away from his and looked under the cloth. The wounds had clotted and weren't too bad. Handing him the cloth back she whispered a thank you before hauling herself to her feet. Daryl stood up and suggested, "Let's go in, get some sleep."

"I'm good." She responded before adding, "I'm going to take watch."

Turning before he could speak Valentine went to the guard tower. She found Michonne sitting on the edge, her feet swinging back and forth. They gave each other a nod and Valentine perched herself on the corner, her eyes scanning the road. They didn't speak for a few hours. The silence was welcomed by Valentine. She needed to get her head on straight. Everything was getting to overwhelming and she needed to go back to turning everything off.

"You thinking of leaving again?" Michonne asked her face a blank mask. Valentine opened her mouth before closing it again. Shrugging instead she turned back to the road, her eyes focusing on the limited view of packed dirt road.

Michonne continued without her input, "We don't want you to go. You've got a place here."

Rolling her bottom lip between her teeth she shrugged again. She didn't know what she was doing, if anything at all. In the old world her goal in life was to raise her son to be a good man. After the turn it was to just keep her son alive. When he died her goal became survive long enough to kill Negan and escape. Now? Now she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing.


	21. Chapter 21

Daryl rode back in through the prison gates with the others following close behind. The scavenge of Big Spot had been a disaster. It showed that no matter how much planning, a run could quickly turn to shit. They'd lost Zach, the damn kid had kind of grown on Daryl and now he was saddled with the guilt of not saving him. Another person he'd let down, another person dead. Shaking his head of the image of the kid being pulled away by a walker's mouth. The screams echoing in his head like ricocheted gunfire, pinging off bone fragments and viscera.

"What happened?" Hershel asked from the picnic table he sat at with two of the women from cellblock B.

Daryl sighed and described the collapse of the roof from the downed helicopter and the number of walkers falling from it. There were tears and sighs of disappointment.

'Just 'nother fuckup Dixon.' He thought in exhaustion, rubbing his eyes roughly.

In the field Daryl could see Valentine standing with Carl near the animal pens. The teen was brushing the horse's coat while Valentine fed it something. The sight made Daryl's chest unfurl slightly, the tension still there but less crushing.

"Who's telling Beth?" Michonne asked from Daryl's left, the sound of her voice making Daryl snap out of his haze.

"I'll tell 'er." He grunted stalking away towards the prison. Daryl didn't want to tell the kid her boyfriend was just eaten alive. He wasn't good at talking on a good day and now he had to give the worst kind of news to a girl.

'Fuckin' pussy Darylina. Scared of a little girl,' Merle's taunting still audible in his head.

'Fuck you Merle.' He growled while walking through the cellblock towards the teens cell. He wasn't a pussy and he wasn't scared, Daryl just didn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes. He was responsible for the run and its planning which meant he was at fault for its failure. Zach died because of Daryl's fuck up and now he had to admit it out loud. Pausing at her cell door he took a deep breath, slowly letting it out before finally entering her cell's doorframe.

* * *

The cellblock was quiet for the most part, many people out doing chores and hanging out in the courtyard since the weather was nice. Valentine had spent the afternoon with Carl while he cared for the animals. Rick had gone to check the traps and asked her to help Carl stay on task. She figured it was more for her than his son but decided to go ahead and try to be a part of the new group. She had listened to the teen talk about his comics and then bitch about the other kids at the prison. He had been exposed to way more horrors on the outside than the other children in the prison and it had made relating to them difficult. In a way Valentine and Carl had way more in common than others could ever realize. They both had been deeply effected by the new world and it was making them outsiders.

Sitting on her bunk cleaning her weapons Valentine heard a yelp of surprise and then a muffled threat to be quiet. It stirred something her, made her curious but wary. There was an itch in between her shoulder blades telling her something bad was happening.

Valentine strode toward the sound of a struggle and a woman's pleas. She turned a corner and found Jack holding Beth against the wall in the common room, his wide frame boxing her in like prey.

"Please." The young woman stammered, her fist curled into his jacket sleeves. She was obviously trying to push him away and not succeeding. Valentine pulled out her knife and growled, "Step away from her now."

The man looked over his shoulder, a too familiar sneer curling his lips, "Fuck off. I'm just giving her my condolences, right Bethy."

Valentine's eyes narrowed and she snarled, "Back away before I slit your throat." She felt the primal excitement roil up inside her chest, curling smoke rising from the coals burning deep inside her. The heat from her gaze had Jack interested, predator to predator. A desire for a challenge.

Stepping away from Beth, Jack pulled out a knife and motioned for Valentine to come towards him. "Come on then," he taunted, his dark gleaming eyes pinning her where she stood.

"Go Beth." Valentine ordered without removing her eyes from the man. Beth slide away and ran towards the cellblock. Jack lunged forward, slicing his blade at her stomach. Valentine maneuvered quickly, her feet bringing her up and over a table. She backed him into a corner her blade poised to kill, her teeth bared.

"Come on then asshole. You like tormenting little girls." She sneered her shoulders rolling forward to brace for the kill. Movement caught her eye making her focus waver for a mere second. It was enough time for Jack to rush at her. Dodging his knife she took a shoulder in the gut making them both tumble to the ground. Valentine's back slammed against the cement, her ribs screaming at the action and her lungs decompressing. They grappled for control, both writhing with sharp weapons in their hands. Sucking in a breath Valentine shoved upwards rolling them easily, her blade pushing against his neck, blood pooling under his adams apple. She crouched over his chest like a sharp toothed beast, her teeth bared as she hissed, "I'm going to cut your fucking head off."

Gasps cut through her blood raged mind as well as cries for her to stop. Valentine kept her burning eyes on Jack who was vibrating with tension, his hands fisting the fabric of her shirt and pants. She could see him trying to work out an escape and couldn't help but smirk, "No way out. You' are going to die."

"Val stop!" A voice called out right before arms yanked her off the man. Valentine swung around her blade ready to bury into the threat behind her. Tyreese and Glenn were there while Hershel and Rick looked on from the cellblock entrance. Jack jumped to his feet, his body moving away from her reach. Rick came forward his hands raised trying to calm the spooked animal. Beth was trying to tell them what happened but too many people were shouting. There were a few women holding children back from seeing the argument. Valentine prepared to attack Jack again when a gun was pointed at her. Karen stood next to Tyreese with a rifle pointed at Valentine's head and shouting at her to put her weapon down. Valentine circled around to get her back secure while keeping everyone in her sight. Jack pointed his blade at her. "She's fucking psycho. Attacked me for no reason!"

"Val put it away. Tell us what's going on."

Her eyes skipped over everyone looking at her like a monster. She glared at them, her gaze landing on a smug Jack. 'Fuck it,' she snarled inwardly before turning on her heel and stomping out of the common room. She heard someone hollering for her but she moved down the hill. Adrenaline was pulsing through her so rapidly Valentine needed to kill. She felt her control slipping and needed to get out of the fences.

"Open." She snapped at a kid named Joseph who was watching the gate. He stuttered, "Where.. are you sure? Why are you going?"

"Open," she shouted with clenched fists, her eyes flaming and chest heaving.

There were people coming after her and she needed to flee. Joseph pulled it open and she slide through the narrow gap and strode away. With her shoulders tense and both her blades out she began laying out walkers. She sliced down two, kicking a third in the chest and slamming her blade into its skull. A fourth stumbled up behind her making she spin around easily, felling it in seconds. There was yelling but she didn't look back, she kept her path straight and away until the woods consumed her.

Striding through the thick brush Valentine sliced through biter after biter. Her path unknown but determined. She left a trail of decapitated and mutilated corpses in her wake. Soon she came to a clearing with almost a dozens walkers. She circled around them, using both machetes and the fallen logs as barriers. The dead fell quickly and when the sharp edge of her blade killed the last one, Valentine stood panting in the middle of the gore covered grass field. Her nose thick with the smell of rot, the bitter taste of blood on her tongue.

Her neck prickled as eyes pierced into her sweat and gore covered skin. Looking over her shoulder she saw Rick with his gun out and a scowl creasing his face. He was quite obviously upset with her actions. Valentine knew logically taking on a herd by herself was ridiculously dangerous but if she were being honest, she didn't care. She was over it and risking her life didn't mean much anymore. She had nothing to lose.

Rick stormed over, a man on a mission, growling, "What the fuck are ya thinkin' Val?! Takin' on a goddamn herd." He shoved his gun in his holster and got in her personal space, looming over her. Valentine shoved him in the chest and sneered, "Back the fuck up Grimes. I'm not in the fucking mood."

Narrowing his eyes Rick leaned forward again getting in her face and seethed, "Don't ever do somethin' like this again ya hear? I don't care how pissed ya are."

Valentine snarled like a feral animal and shoved him hard enough to make the ex Sherriff deputy stumbled backwards. Instead of taking the hint Rick launched forward grabbing her bicep tightly. The woman brought her blade upwards, the tip touching his neck and scraping against his whiskers. They stared at each other for a long tension filled moment, chest heaving and eyes blazing. Speaking low and menacing Valentine threatened, "Get away from me. I am no where near safe right now and I'm losing my patience with you."

Rick ground his teeth before huffing out an irritated breath through his nose and taking three steps backwards. Valentine's arms dropped, her hands shaking from the tension. She had barely kept herself in control. Taking several deep breathes to focus herself, Valentine finally cleared her blood raged eyes. Eventually she was calm enough to speak, "Keep that fucker away from Beth and the other girls."

"What happened? She was too upset to talk while I was there."

Valentine ground her teeth and sneered, "He had her pinned against the fucking wall. Wouldn't let her go. If I hadn't shown up…"

Rick growled lowly and muttered, "Come on let's go back and deal with this."

"No. Fuck all of 'em." She snapped. Valentine was done playing nice and done trying to help morons.

"They saw you over the guy looking all…." Rick explained trailing off before adding, "they were just scared."

Valentine snorted and crossed her arms tightly. She knew what he was going to say. 'They saw you over the guy looking like a goddamn animal,' she completed his thoughts to herself before quipping, "They should be scared that fucker is a sexual predator."

"Stop Val. Come on." Rick sighed, scrubbing his face. "Let's go back and fix this ok?"

Valentine grunted without answer and stomped away towards the prison. It was getting dark by the time they finally arrived at the gate. She hadn't realized how far she'd gone on her rampage. As she arrived at the gate she killed another four walkers before the gate finally opened.

"Jesus Val." Michonne exclaimed looking at the woman's gore covered arms.

"What!?" She snarled her eyes raging. Michonne glared at her, crossing her arms angrily. Valentine didn't care, she was over it. She may have come back with Rick but she was fucking over the prison and everyone in it. Without waiting for a response Valentine walked up the hill towards the cellblock.

* * *

"Where are ya goin'?" Daryl asked as she shoved what little belongings she had in her backpack.

"I never should've left." She muttered almost to herself. Her mind was spinning. She needed to get away from all of the normal people surrounding her. They had no idea what the real world was like. They had no clue what true horrors were out there. They couldn't even see a fucking wolf bedding down next to their children.

Valentine couldn't seem to acclimate to the new environment and she almost didn't want to. Part of her, the sick in the head part, wanted to go back to the sanctuary. She wanted those biter covered walls and the blood stained fighting rings. It was easier. The only thing holding her back was that  _he_  wasn't there anymore. That thought alone made Valentine stomach clench. Negan was dead and she had killed him. The fact that she was now regretful of killing him, tore her up but it was true.

Daryl scoffed, "You can't mean that. That place was a hellhole."

"I mean it. I never should've left... I never should've killed him."

"What?"

"Nevermind." She huffed knowing no one would understand. There was no way a normal person would understand her.

"Whaddya mean you shouldn't have killed him? He was a fucking monster."

"I know... but it was more than that... He was or could've been. He told me..." Valentine's throat closed and she snapped her mouth shut. She couldn't continue, the horrified look on Daryl's face told here everything she needed to know. No one would understand her feelings toward a man that had murdered her family and maimed her. No one would understand that she missed him.

"I get it." He rasped adding, "sit down... I'm gonna tell ya why. Ain't never... I ain't never talked about this shit so sit the fuck down."

Valentine ground her teeth angrily. She didn't want to listen to some bullshit story to try and make her stay. She didn't need her mind changed. She needed to leave the cement tomb they lived in. Huffing out an irritated before she sat down heavily, her eyes anywhere but his.

Daryl cleared his throat and started to explain. "My pa was a sonofabitch... Drank from sun up to sundown... Beat on us everyday and every night. Got more scars 'n healed broken bones to last a lifetime." He shifted uncomfortably and chewed his lip a moment, his fingers playing with his goatee. Valentine sat back and felt guilty for thinking he couldn't understand living with violence. That he wouldn't understand the confusion of living with an abuser.

"Used the leather belt most days but liked wire hangers on special occasions. Merle... my brother, he took the brunt of it but he weren't there much so I took it. My ma took it. Growin up I never understood why she stayed. Never got why sometimes she would look at him like... like he was good, like he wasn't some sick asshole who got off on hurtin her. She'd make excuses 'n blame herself. Was like she was fuckin brainwashed by the asshole. He treated her like shit and she'd apologize, she'd make his favorite dinner, tell him she loved him. All the while he'd scream 'n yell, hit her, beat her, break her fuckin bones."

He scratched his chin and tilted his head, his eyes looking over Valentine. She shifted in her seat feeling like she was under a microscope.

"All ya had was him. He pushed ya and made ya like him. Made ya fight, made ya kill. He told ya what to do, how to do it, when to do it. All ya had was him and his demands. I get it. I get why you're confused, I get why ya regret it because now? Now ya gotta figure out how to live without that. without him. My ma... she never got away and I don't think she woulda survived without the sonofabitch. She weren't like you. She weren't strong. You though Val... Strongest fucking person I know. Ya ain't what he wanted to make ya into. Ya ain't a monster like him. Ya don't need him."

She swallowed thickly and whispered hoarsely, "I am... I'm a monster like him."

"No ya ain't."

She growled, "yeah I am... What kinda person misses someone like him Daryl. Cause I do... I fucking miss him. Why?" She choked on a sob and shook her head violently as if to rid herself of the feelings. "How can I feel this shit? How? He... What he did... How can I feel this shit for him..."

Daryl leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and he drawled quietly, "Ya ain't a monster. Men like him get in your head. Ya spent a year havin him fuck with your head. He twisted ya up, turned ya around. It's what men like him do."

She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, "When I killed him... How I killed him." Valentine trailed off as she thought about how confusing it was to sleep with the man while planning to kill him. How confused her body was at her actions.

Daryl chewed his lip and looked down obviously understanding where she was going with her stuttered words. He made eye contact again and spoke soothingly, "Ya did nothing wrong. Whatever ya felt during it... doesn't make ya bad. Doesn't make ya a monster but it also doesn't mean ya enjoyed it. It doesn't mean he was good for ya or would've been good for ya. He was an evil bastard who got off on controlling people. Especially you. Whatever you did, whatever ya felt while doing it... Wasn't really you. Ya just need time. Ya need time away from that place and ya need time to heal."

She wiped her face and sniffed loudly. Valentine felt raw and broken. Her body ached and head was pounding. Rubbing her temples she held her head in her hands.

"You'll be a'right. I know ya will. You just gotta let go of what ya did before, what ya did to get away and concentrate of being who you really are."

Valentine swallowed thickly and whispered, "Oh yeah, who's that?"

"A good person."

She couldn't help but snort at the declaration.

Daryl wouldn't hear of it though, "Ya are."

Valentine wasn't sure about that but she was positive she was exhausted. Daryl could tell, scooting to the side he tilted his head to the bed, "Lay down. Take a nap."

Giving in she adjust herself to lie down, her head hitting the pillow heavily. Looking at him from her spot she asked, "Are you gonna go?"

"Want me too?" he asked gruffly, his eyes looking for something in hers. The idea of sleeping was welcoming but now that she'd made some kind of enemy at the prison she feared Jack might take revenge for her actions. She had no idea what they were doing in regards to him.

"No... could you.. stay?" She stammered her eyes hitting the floor rather than watch for rejection.

" 'course." He rasped, pausing for a moment, "Want me to stay on watch?"

"You can lay down." She spoke tentatively adding quickly, "I mean if you want."

Daryl stared at her for a long moment and then adjusted his body to lie down. He was practically laying half off the bed as they squeezed into the twin mattress. Valentine moved to her side to give him more room. After a few awkward seconds she threatened, "Better not be a blanket hog."

Daryl snorted, his face turning to look at her, his deep blue eyes crinkled with amusement but his face serious, "Bes' not snore."

Valentine smirked and whispered, "I don't but I am a bed wetter."

Daryl laughed dryly, his shoulders shaking and whispered back, "good thing I know how t'swim."

Valentine grinned for the first time in a long time, which made Daryl smile back at her. He had a nice smile she decided. It wasn't often seen and that might be why it was so pleasant but she felt it was the way it softened his face. Daryl was always hard angles and sharp looks. The tiny grin broke that up, smoothed the sharpness.

"You've got a nice smile," She mumbled, blinking through the sleepiness. He rolled his eyes and went back to looking at the bunk above them rasping, "Shuddup. Get some sleep already."

"So bossy." Valentine mumbled before sleep rolled over her like a warm blanket.

* * *

Daryl watched Valentine sleep once her eyes closed, her dark lashes brushing against her flushed cheeks. He could see them flitting around under her eyelids but otherwise she was still. The woman surprised him with her request he stay. He figured it was because of Jack but it still made his chest clench. It meant she trusted Daryl enough to guard her while she was completely defenseless. The request spoke volumes to him, or at least he wanted it too.

Daryl hadn't ever seen her grin before. She'd smirked and maybe even smiled softly but a full grin had his heart speeding up. It wasn't just because it made her look radiant but because he put it there. He wanted to see how many smiles she had and if he could get her to show him all of them.

Mulling over the issues with Jack, he felt himself getting angry again. He hadn't been there when the confrontation happened but heard about it from Hershel. It pissed him off that they assumed she was just on some kind of rampage. Thankfully Beth finally spoke up about the incident and now Jack was locked in a cell until they decided what to do with him. Daryl's vote was to put a bolt in his head and call it a day. The fucker was a predator and they'd let him walk in the gates. In the morning the council was meeting and discussing not only Jack but also Valentine's reaction. He wasn't sure what they expected her to do when faced with a guy about to sexually assault someone and brandishing a knife but if it were him, Jack would've been dead before he got the chance to attack. In his eyes Valentine showed great restraint by not gutting him.

'Fucking asshole.' He thought angrily.

With heavy eyes Daryl sunk further into the mattress, his body finally calming down. Turning his head slightly he watched Valentine sleep, her lips parted and little puffs of air hitting his cheek. He had the urge to lean forward and taste her sweet mouth but held back. Daryl wasn't going to be that guy. If he was going to kiss Valentine he wanted her to know it.

* * *

_Valentine was walking through her house, the small rancher near the military base. She looked down and saw she was dressed normally, no dirt, no gore. The home was just as she remembered it except for the thick dust layering every surface. She passed by framed photos of her family. Christmases and birthdays. Weddings and births. Pain ached in her chest but there was also a calmness that settled over her just seeing Paul and Michael as they had been. No blood. No death. She pulled the picture off the wall of Paul returning from his third tour. His tired face grinning widely as he held Michael for the first time, the one year old gumming his father face like a teething ring._

_"Val. Can you bring me my bag?" A voice hollered from the backyard. Furrowing her brow she looked around and picked up Paul's old camo hiking pack. It was filled with cans and water bottles. Grunting she got the bag on her shoulder and walked through the sliding glass door to the small yard. Paul was hunched over shoveling dirt out of a deep hole._

_"What're you doing?" She asked standing at the top of the hole that looked far to similar to a grave. Paul wiped his forehead, dirt smearing across his tan skin and drawled, "Gotta bury it."_

_"Bury what? The bag? We can't we need the supplies."_

_"Gotta bury it Val. You can't haul it anymore." He explained_

_"But... Paul we need the food."_

_Rolling his eyes he shoveled another heap of dirt out, flinging it into the dry grass. "Can't keep carrying it baby. It's too heavy and you know it."_

_"Well let's split the weight." She suggested her brow still concerned, "Where's Michael?"_

_"Don't worry about him Val." He grunted throwing the shovel to the side and climbing out of the deep hole. "He's safe and sound now. Come on. Throw it in."_

_"No." She growled gripping the straps, "it's stupid to bury it. I need it."_

_"You don't need that shit. Now put it away." He snapped, his head ticking to her hands. Valentine looked down and saw she was no longer holding the bag. Instead she gripped Lucille, the barbwire dripping blood onto the dirt. Gasping Valentine flung it away, the wood bouncing off the dirt walls, rocks scrapping along its surface. She cringed at the sound, her eyes jumping around for Negan's critical gaze. He would probably gut her if he saw his lady on the ground._

_"Good girl." Paul praised, "Now just forget about it. Don't fucking need to carry it anymore."_

_Valentine watched him shovel dirt back into the hole, her eyes watering at seeing him in the flesh again. Paul glanced up and frown, "Don't cry. Everything's ok now."_

_"No it's not. You're gone."_

_"It was bound to happen sometime. Remember what we talked about. Last time I deployed." He answered, his hands still shoveling dirt into the hole._

_Sighing Valentine scrubbed her face, her hands now dirty and scarred like always. She mumbled sadly, "Yeah."_

_"Well it's the same game plan Val. You gotta go on without me. I told ya I never wanted you dyin' alongside me. That you had to keep going." Her husband repeated the conversation from long ago. As a military wife she had lived with the knowledge that he could leave for work and never come home. It was difficult but part of the life._

_Sniffing she whimpered, "But that was before Michael was gone. Now... Now I'm alone Paul. There's no point."_

_"You know that's not true anymore. You got a new family. I've seen it. Seen you with Carl. Seen you with the others."_

_Biting her lip she muttered, "I'm sorry."_

_He stopped shoveling, dropping it to the ground and walked over. Cupping her face with his dirt covered hands Paul soothed his wife, "You have nothing to be sorry about. I want you to survive this Val. Survive all of it and actually live. You gotta or it all meant nothing."_

_Valentine sniffed back tears and wrapped her arms around Paul's waist, pulling him in close. She felt him kiss her temple and rasp, "You're gonna be fine Sweetheart."_


	22. Chapter 22

Before the turn Valentine was used to waking up in a comfortable bed filled with blankets and pillows. Soft cotton and down. The best times were the ones when Paul was home, the warm length of him curled up and around her. She'd stretch and purr like a cat, flexing every limb, every finger, every toe. It had been a very long time since she had felt such... comfort. "Had" being the imperative word because when Valentine blinked away the cotton wool of sleep she realized just how warm and secure she was again.

Her body was pressed against Daryl, his broad chest being the first thing she saw. The flannel was worn from a hard life working outdoors, the buttons loose making it gap slightly from the pull. She could see tan skin beneath and a smattering of hair. The urge to run her fingers up and over the sight before her had Valentine clenching her hands into tight fists. The man's arm was securely around her lower back, his palm stretched across her bare skin underneath her shirt. The heat coming off his skin was soaking into her bones. No one had touched her gently like that in a very long time and never since she'd been scarred. Her leg was thrown over his, curled in between and her foot tucked underneath. Valentine's arm was wrapped around his stomach, her fingers clenching the hem of his shirt. She was like a vining plant curling and twisting around the poor man. Part of her felt cheek warming embarrassment but the majority of her was enjoying the predicament. With her head laying on his chest Valentine realized Daryl's lips lay against her forehead, the puffs of warm air tickling her hairline. She didn't dare move, the desire to soak in that affection, that comfort, deeply needed. The steady thump of his heart and even rise of his chest had her on the edges of sleep again. The rhythm of his calming presence kept her as still as stone, a desire to keep holding on for as long as possible. Eventually though she realized the need to use a restroom and the desire to keep Daryl from feeling uncomfortable with the situation.

Moving slowly she unwound herself, stretching every aching part of her body. Her frame vibrated with the whole body stretch, joints popping and muscles groaning with a combination of pain and pleasure. Daryl stirred instantly of course, his groggy eyes looking around confused for a moment.

"Bed hog." She mumbled before mock glaring up at him. The sleepy crooked grin he gave her was a sight to behold. Valentine felt a sharp tug in her chest at the image, looking away instantly. Daryl's voice was rougher than normal, thick with sleep, " leas' I don' snore."

"I don't snore." She gasped with wide eyes.

"Do too." He drawled, rubbing his eyes with his free hand, his other still holding her lower back. She felt his fingers flex, the calloused tips traveling along one of the deep scars marring her back. A shiver ran up her spine and her breath caught in her throat.

Daryl felt her whole body stiffen at the movement and paused, his narrowed eyes tracing her face. "Sorry," he rasped, moving his hand away but Valentine blurted, "Don't."

"Don't what?" He asked, his hand almost absent from her skin.

"Just..." She couldn't get the words out but Daryl seemed to read her mind, he knew that she needed some kind of comfort. His hand slowly returned to laying flat against her back, his eyes watching her carefully as his warm palm stroked her ridged skin. Daryl's hand roamed over the center of her back, the warmth soothing her like a healing balm.

Valentine couldn't help but apologize for the gnarled surface of her skin. "M'sorry... You don't... If it feels... Gross."

Daryl shook his head sharply and assured, "Don't apologize and ya ain't gross."

Rolling her eyes she didn't argue figuring no matter what she said, Daryl would disagree. His hand didn't move any longer, only held her but it was enough to stir something inside her, a desire to have more.

"I don't snore by the way. I just... breath loud."

Daryl's whole frame bounced against her as he laughed silently. She bite her lip holding back her own chuckle and peered up at him, "What? It's true."

"Ain't true sweetheart." He drawled with his lips curled slightly, his eyes brighter than before.

_'You're gonna be fine sweetheart.'_

The statement brought her dream back and she realized she must have heard him say it, felt him kiss her temple. The realization made Valentine's cheeks flush but more than anything it made her feel content. For some reason beyond her, Daryl cared for her. He'd said as much the day in the administration building but part of her always pushed it off as a drunken misstep but now? Well now she was seeing there was more truth to it.

"Pfft. Whatever." She muttered while containing a grin.

"Gotta get the fences braced today." Daryl spoke a few moments later. Valentine wasn't sure if he was telling her or talking out loud to himself but she offered, "I can clear 'em."

She heard him grunt and the sound of him scratching his whisker covered chin. Valentine was learning his gestures, the little idiosyncrasies that made Daryl, Daryl. So she knew he was contemplating something, either an action or a statement. The impatient part of her wanted to just ask, 'What?!' but the other part was learning it was better to let him work through it. Otherwise he'd blow her off and then never bring it up again. He didn't do things half assed nor unprepared. He wasn't very impulsive which was great for most situations but Valentine could imagine it getting frustrating at times.

"Ya stayin' then?" He asked, his tone reserved and hesitant. She realized right then that she hadn't been acting very fair. For some mysterious reason Daryl, Rick, Michonne and Carl all wanted her there. If she was braver she might even say they liked her. Valentine's frequent threats to leave the prison were unreasonable. She was making it so they wouldn't trust her, couldn't trust her and maybe even feared counting on her since she had one foot out the door all the time. She couldn't help but feel like a total asshole.

"I'm sorry." She blurted, "for always being halfway out the gates."

"It's a'right." He drawled, rolling his lip between his teeth, his thumb brushing across her spine.

Shaking her head Valentine muttered, "No it isn't. I'll try... more."

"Good." He said, his lips curled upwards slightly.

"Don't sound so smug."

He chuckled before drawling, "Should get up. Got shit to do and people are gonna talk if they find ya groping me."

Valentine snorted and teased, "You're the one with a hand up my shirt." She glanced up and witnessed a deep flush crawl up his neck and redden his ears. Grinning at the sight she teased, "Did I just make a redneck blush?"

"Fuck off." He grumbled without any real malice. He narrowed his eyes and growled, "Get up."

Smirking Valentine sat up, her hand using his chest as a leveraging tool. He grunted at the weight and rolled his eyes when she smirked at his discomfort. "Damn woman, ya crushin' my lungs."

Snorting she crawled out of bed and stretched her back, her arms up and wrists rotating. She could feel the strain of the day before from dealing with the herd of walkers.

"Ya hurt?" He asked as he climbed to his feet, his own knees popping. Valentine shook her head and answered, "Just old."

"Ya ain't old. I'm old."

"Ok Gramps." She joked, peeking out from behind the privacy curtain before ticking her head to the doorway, "All clear."

Daryl dipped his chin as farewell before sliding out and into the cellblock. Valentine stayed in her cell for a few minutes before exiting herself. She didn't need to add to the rumor mill. They all knew she was a monster already, all she needed was people being upset about one of their own sleeping in her cell.

* * *

The cafeteria was practically empty except for Daryl, Hershel and Carol. All three were sitting together, Hershel and Carol seemed to be doing all the talking. They paused when she walked into the large room. Valentine's feet faltered and her back tensed as if preparing for an attack.

"Morning Val." Hershel greeted her with a warm smile. She nodded in reply before going to grab something to eat. Carol had made a pot of grits and put out a jar of preserves they'd found on the last run. Valentine scooped a bowl and added a tablespoon of jam, finding a seat at another table. She sat so she could see the others out of the corner of her eye while her back was to a wall. From her position she could see the whole room without having to make eye contact with the others. Her back was still tense and Valentine couldn't help but eat quickly to get out of the room as fast as possible. She didn't want to be there when more people arrived deciding she could tolerate staying if limiting her exposure to the group as a whole. Small doses of human contact may just be what the anxious woman needed.

"Val." Hershel voice broke her concentration, her spoon paused mid bite. "I wanted to thank you for what you did for Beth. She was finally able to explain it once everyone stopped shouting."

Taking the bite Valentine gave him a head bob pretending her lack of words were a courtesy of not talking with a mouthful of food rather than avoidance.

"Jack is locked up. The council is meeting about him today." Carol informed her while watching her closely. Valentine ground her teeth to keep from telling them exactly what they should do to the man. She could picture what she'd do to the sexual predator and it involved him strung up by his testicles. Giving them another nod she placed the bowl in the dirty dishes bin and headed outside without any other input in the conversation. She was going to start clearing the fences so Daryl and his crew could get them braced better. Walking down the hill Valentine saw a few people doing earlier morning chores and the guards from the evening waiting for their relief. Maggie and Glenn were watching her walk the length of the fence but she kept her eyes down and away, only stealing glimpses from the corner of her eye.

Taking out her hunting knife she began methodically killing every walker along the fence. Her arm felt sore from the day before but she worked through it like always. The fences were thick with them though and the longer she worked the more there seemed to be. As she approached a particularly thick bunch of walkers she found a disturbing scene. Along the fence line were half eat rats stuck into the chainlink. The biters were feasting on the little corpses, the grass below it smeared with blood.

"What the fuck?" She grunted kneeling down to inspect the sight. Valentine eyed what looked like a Golden Corral buffet for walkers and sat back on her haunches. Glancing down the fence she saw the others working to brace the fences and then back at the gruesome scene.

"Goddamnit." She muttered before standing up deciding she'd have to tell someone about it. Some psycho was feeding the biters like zoo animals and it explained their issues with herd build up. Walking down the path she saw Rick helping brace the fence with long wood beams they'd foraged from the forest.

"Hey Rick." She spoke loud enough for him to hear, ticking her head for him to follow her. Some of the others nodded a greeting to her, Glenn making eye contact the longest. She could see his mouth parting as if about to say something but Valentine skirted away making Rick follow her.

"If this is about Jack, they're meeting soon about it." He drawled, shoving his gloves in his back pocket. Valentine shook her head and kept walking to the spot of the ravaged animals. Pointing at it she explained, "Someone's been feeding them. It's why we keep getting build ups."

Rick glared at the mess in the grass for a moment before looking back up at her with a questioning eyebrow. Valentine held her hands up and drawled, "Don't ask me. I have no fucking idea who or why someone would do it unless they want to sabotage the fences."

"Goddamnit can we just not have anymore fucking drama." He complained while scrubbing his eyes.

"Hey Rick. Councils meeting up. You sure you don't wanna sit in?" Glenn hollered from down the line. Rick shook his head and looked at Valentine, "Let's keep this between you and me until we figure out who is doing it. Will you... "

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll watch for the bastard." She responded, cutting him off before stabbing a few more walkers.

* * *

Daryl sat in the library while the council members talked over the situation with Jack. His point of view on the matter was similar to Valentine's. The guy was a threat and would probably always be dangerous. He needed to be gone, whether that was exiling him or killing him, Daryl wasn't sure. If they kicked him out he could always come back to haunt them. If they killed him what kind of standard protocol were they setting. What crimes would constitute a death sentence and who would carry out such executions? Daryl knew one thing for sure, if they were to execute the man, Valentine wouldn't be doing it, even if she offered. He couldn't let her take on anymore guilt. She wouldn't admit it of course but every life she took still weighed heavy on her soul. He could see it in her eyes despite the carnal excitement she would get when doing it.

"Well as Beth's father, I for one don't want him here in the prison. I say we take him out far and exile him."

Daryl braced his arms on the back of the chair he straddled and rasped, "We kick him out he may come back to haunt us. Guy knows where we are now."

Sasha sighed and suggested, "We could keep him locked up?"

"Just another mouth to feed, one that doesn't provide the group with nothin'."

"Well what do we do? Kill him?" Glenn asked with a furrowed brow, "look Beth is my sister in law. I don't want anything to happen to her but I'm not sure killing the guy is the best option. Are we sure it wasn't just him stepping over the line? Maybe he thinks it's a mistake."

"He said Valentine attacked him for no reason. He lied, so he had to know what he did was wrong." Carol explained her arms crossed. Daryl couldn't tell where she was on the decision but knew she was harder than she looked. In a way Valentine and Carol had a lot in common. Both were the strongest women he knew and both had become that way out of necessity.

"Glenn, I spoke with Beth. She said he'd been making her uncomfortable since the day he arrived. That she'd been actively trying to avoid him. Said even Zach had approached Jack to get him to leave her be."

"What the fuck? Why didn' either of 'em tell anybody?" Daryl barked feeling pissed off it had been going on under their noses.

"She thought he'd give up after her boyfriend talked to him. Once Zach didn't come back..." Hershel trailed off without concluding the sentence seeing Daryl's face crumple in guilt.

Daryl growled, standing up to pace the floor. 'Great just another thing that's your fuckin' fault Dixon. Blind as shit, don't see a fuckin' predator in your home. Get the damn kid killed, makin' t'easier for the sick fuck to hurt a lil girl.' He berated inwardly while aggressively walking a hole in the carpet.

"Dixon! Sit the fuck down." Sasha snapped, "Stop blaming yourself and help us figure this shit out."

"I don't know. I say we gut the bastard like a damn deer and call it a day." He growled with angry eyes, "if he was already pressuring her, he ain't gonna stop."

"Maybe we should ask Beth?" Glenn suggested with fatigued eyes, "or maybe Rick?"

"He doesn't want to be involved." Sasha explained with some exhaustion in her tone. Daryl understood Rick's desire to take a backseat but also wished he would help them with decisions such as these. He was the one experienced with criminals and despite his warped view of himself, Rick was still a good leader. The council was great, it worked but the ex deputy's input would be valuable in certain situations.

"So..." Glenn let his word trail off, he eyes dancing between each person. Hershel sighed and stroked his beard thoughtfully, "Let's sit on it another day. We can talk to the others, get a feel for the groups attitudes. There's no reason for just us to carry the weight of the decision."

* * *

Valentine had cleared the fences yet again and was trudging up the hill towards the courtyard. She had her head down as she tried to decide her next task for the day. If she kept busy enough Valentine felt she might be able to keep from getting antsy and stressed out. Maybe if she didn't focus on all the eyes that followed her, she would be able to stick around for the people who cared about her. The ones that she had started to care for.

"Hey Val!" a voiced called out bringing the woman out of her head. Looking up Valentine saw Beth coming towards her, Judith in her arms squirming. She stopped in front of Beth and smirked at the little girl.

"I want to thank you for yesterday." Beth spoke with a slight quiver in her voice but strong eyes, "If you hadn't shown up…"

"You're welcome," she interrupted the girl's dark thoughts, "I only did what everyone else would've."

"Still," the blonde drawled before asking nervously, "Would… do you think you would be able to train me like Carl?"

Valentine's mouth opened but she couldn't really find the words. She wasn't sure if she wanted to but couldn't help but feel flattered.

"If you don't want to I understand… its just I don't want that to ever happen again and you were so… in control. I want that." Beth spoke with wide eyes and a hopeful tone. Valentine swallowed thickly and looked at the ground a moment before speaking quietly, "Alright."

"Really?" the girl exclaimed hugging the little girl to her chest, "Thank you so much. You won't regret it. I'll do everything you say and I won't complain like Carl."

Valentine laughed lightly and reached out to Judith's belly, poking it to make the girl giggle. "He is a little complainer but he's a fast learner."

Beth nodded and adjusted Judith on her hip and thanked her again for helping and for agreeing to train her. They split up and Valentine watched her walk away with a skip in her step.

"You're turning into a regular self defense instructor." Michonne joked from her spot by the picnic tables. Valentine rolled her eyes and sat down with her. "I don't know why… It's not like I'm that great to spend time with. I'm kinda an asshole."

"That explains you and Dixon getting along." She teased, "Maybe even explains why I saw him coming out of your cell this morning."

Valentine felt her cheeks turn red and a cold sweat break out. 'Shit,' she thought while scrambling for a viable excuse. "He uh… just needed to borrow something." She muttered looking away while picking at her nails.

Michonne's lips slid into a large smirk as she teased, "Oh yeah? What was that? A pillow?"

Valentine rolled her eyes and spoke quiet, "Shut up. We just fell asleep talking last night. I felt… uncomfortable sleeping."

Straightening up Michonne assured, "Don't worry about Jack. He isn't going to get away with what he did."

"I know and if he does I'll fucking take care of it." Valentine responded with hard eyes. She wouldn't let the guy walk away if they didn't take care of it. The guy would always be a problem and he wouldn't ever stop being dangerous.

* * *

The council group broke up and was walking back to the main cellblock when gunfire from cellblock B ruptured the quiet air of the prison. Daryl ran across the courtyard and into the other cellblock to find walkers inside. There were dead bodies on the ground and people being attacked. With his bow up he shot one walker before bring his knife up to take out the closer biters. A flash of blonde brought his eyes up and he saw Valentine yank a man away from a cowering child, her blade bursting through the biters gaping maw. She picked the boy up, the kid's arms winding around her neck as she killed another two walkers. The sounds of people crying and moans of pain brought Daryl back to earth. He made eye contact with Rick who looked shocked at what occurred. They searched the block for more threats, only finding one more walker locked behind a cell door. It was Charlie, a man who locked himself inside every night because of his sleepwalking. Daryl explained this to Rick and Dr. S while they looked him over for bites or scratches. After finding none they began to realize there was sickness killing residents. Glenn joined them and explained that they found Patrick, his eyes, mouth and ears gushing blood.

Valentine was standing nearby as they discussed the possible sickness, the kid she saved still clinging to her like a spider monkey. Daryl watched as she kept a hand on the back of his head, his body shaking with sobs. They made eye contact for a split second before she looked away from his worried gaze. They needed to get control of the situation and the first step was containing the virus by quarantining the people from cellblock B and anyone who came to kill walkers. Daryl couldn't help but look at Valentine and worry that she would get sick, that she would end up hemorrhaging blood before turning into undead monster. They had to fix the situation fast before anyone else got hurt.

* * *

"Well that solves that problem." Glenn quipped while standing next to Daryl in front of Jack's holding cell. The man had died much like the other sick residents and now stood grasping for them through the bars, blood soaking the front of his shirt. Valentine approached from behind and grinned at Daryl. He shook his head and drawled, "Don't look so happy."

"Why the fuck not? I say we leave him like that forever. Fucking asshole." She muttered while crossing her arms. In Valentine's mind it was the best karma she'd seen in a long time. The guy deserved to choke on his own blood and the added insult to injury turn into a cannibalistic monster. 'There is a god,' she thought in amusement.

Daryl grunted in agreement but replied, "gotta put him down but we ain't burying like the rest. He's going in the burn pile."

Daryl raised his bow shooting the snarling walker in the eye socket. Valentine handed over a sheet to wrap the man in and watched as Glenn and Daryl put on gloves and bandanas to protect themselves. They wrapped the corpse up and dragged it outside to the field.

Valentine helped Daryl dig while the others helped get the sick settled into the death row cellblock. She wore a red rag over her face and thick leather gloves to protect herself. The last thing she needed was to end up in the sick bay coughing her lungs up.

Valentine was climbing out of the last grave when Rick came up to speak to Daryl. She couldn't hear the conversation but could tell Rick was struggling with having to step up and lead. The council was going to meet again to figure out what to do about the break out and Rick needed to help out.

"RICK!" Maggie screamed from the fence line. Her hand pointing to the wire fencing bulging with walkers. All three of them ran to join the woman to help hold the perimeter. Valentine pushed the wire with her shoulder trying to avoid the snarling mouths. Gore dripped down the fence as the horde pushed against it, the weight crushing the closest biters. A few others came running down the hill to help but the weight was bending it downwards.

"Hold it, come on, hold it!" Rick screamed as Maggie grabbed a pole to jam as a brace, the fence pushing upright. A few undead crawled the bent fence, broken fingers clawing their way up. Valentine yanked out her knife while digging her feet into the soil for leverage. Stabbing over her head she killed the few struggling to enter the prison yard.

"Daryl, get the truck. I know what to do." Rick drawled turning towards the pig pen. Valentine watched as they loaded up the piglets before driving outside the fence. Rick began cutting into the squealing animals as the walkers moved away from the fence. Closing her eyes a minute to block out the painful sound and sight, Valentine helped get the boundary reinforced.

"Alright, alright. We got it." Glenn panted as the fence tipped upright keeping the dead out. Valentine began killing as many as she could while the others grabbed more braces to make it hold.

* * *

"Rick! Daryl!" a bellowing voice carried down the hill catching Valentines ears. All three of them jogged up the hill to find Tyreese visibly shaking, his fist clenched into giant balls.

"Whats wrong?" Rick drawled as they got close to the distraught man. Valentine couldn't tell if he was angry or upset.

"We got a murderer here." He growled before stalking off into the cellblock holding the sick. They followed the man, Carol joining them as they walked group entered the tiny courtyard to find two smoldering corpses and a gasoline could smell the familiar odor of burning flesh. She flashed back to the moment of Dwight's punishment in Sanctuary. The smell of the red hot iron melting the side of his face while Negan grinned manically.

"There's a murderer here." Tyreese growled his eyes landing on Valentine's tense frame. She shifted uncomfortably because truly he wasn't wrong. She was a murderer but she didn't kill the two people still smoking on the ground. Rick and Daryl both seemed to understand what Tyreese was implying instantly.

"We'll find out who did this Ty." Rick assured stepping in front of Valentine with a hand outstretched trying to calm the man. He glared at them and began ranting, "Somebody dragged them out here and set them on fire. " He pointed at the bodies while drilling holes into Rick, "They killed them and set them on fire! You're a cop. You find out who did this and you bring 'em to me. You understand? You bring 'em to me!"

He spun around and glared at Valentine hissing, "If I find out you did this I will kill you."

"Ty come on man, back up." Daryl drawled trying to calm the man. They stalked back and forth, Daryl trying to block his view of Valentine.

"We'll find out who…" Rick assured the man but was cut off as Tyreese shouted in his face, "I need to say it again?"

Valentine tried to help, "I didn't do this. I know what you're feeling. I've been there."

"You don't know shit. Karen didn't deserve this. David didn't deserve it." He growled pushing Daryl to the side roughly, towering over Valentine. She kept still knowing it wouldn't help for her to become aggressive. The man was in a headspace that wouldn't care that she was a woman. It wouldn't matter that he had a hundred pounds on her, she was an enemy in her eyes. She had to try and keep the situation under control.

"No. Nobody does. All right.."

Tyreese swung out, his fist clipping her jar making her stumble backwards. Rick was instantly on the man, his fist crunching Tyreese's face with blow after blow. Daryl was struggling to pull the enraged man away, shouting, "That's enough. That's enough."

They wrestled with each other, Daryl grinding his feet into the cement to hold Rick back while Carol tended to the beaten man on the ground. "Rick. Stop!" Valentine shouted pulling him away by his belt buckle. She pushed him into a corner while Daryl and Carol removed him from the courtyard.

Rick stood there panting heavily, his chest heaving. Blood trickled from his eyebrow from one of Tyreese's hits.

"Deep breath." She spoke calmly her hands pressed into his chest. "Come on Grimes stay with me."

His crazed eyes met hers and he sucked in a ragged breath. She paced her breathing with his and rasped, "We're gonna work this out. All of it, alright?"

"Yeah." He choked out before looking at her with a fragile expression. "All I could think was to destroy him."

"I completely understand that. Obviously. But now's not the time." She sighed and assured him, "You're gonna be fine. Gotta keep your head straight though. Think everything through. I know how hard it is to keep your eyes clear but we gotta alright?"

"Yeah." He agreed hoarsely while nodding as if trying to assure himself. "A'right. A'right."

"Good. Let's go figure out our next step because right now we're wasting precious fucking time." She said trying to encourage him to get his head on straight. Valentine knew what was going on in his trouble head. He was struggling to see the big picture. Rick was focusing all his anxiety and stress into the nearest and easiest target. Everything else was out of his control and he was taking it where he could. It was like looking into a goddamn mirror and it made her realize just how much she needed to change. Valentine could so clearly see herself in Rick's vibrating frame that she could see exactly how fucked up her mind was.

"Lets go Rick. We got shit to do."

 


	23. Chapter 23

Valentine stood by the gate as Daryl, Michonne, Bob and Tyreese loaded into the car. They needed antibiotics or everyone who contracted the illness would die. There had been a dozen deaths so far and more to come. Sasha and Glenn had both been quarantined and the Dr taking care of them was now suffering from the same frightening illness.

"Be safe." She ordered Daryl as he pulled up to the gate. The man's elbow rest on the open window as he brushed his thumb across his lip thoughtfully, words visibly on his tongue. With a shake of the head, he dipped his chin and rasped, "You too." Valentine's lips curled slightly and dipped her head in agreement.

Opening the gate she gave Michonne a nod before the group pulled out of the prison fences. She stood there after closing the gate watching the red taillights of Charger drive away, a steady tugging in her chest that only worsened the further they got.

"They'll be ok." Maggie spoke startling Valentine, her shoulders flinching in surprise. Looking at her for a moment, her heart racing but her face blank. Returning her eyes to the road Valentine murmured, "I know."

"Good. Now let's clear the fences."

She watched Maggie walk the perimeter, a crow bar plunging into the undead pressing against the fence. Valentine moved robotically, her mind wandering to the worries plaguing them all. To the man beyond the fences looking for a cure for his family.

"What did you do before all this?" Maggie asked from her right. Blinking her eyes slowly Valentine tried to pull herself back into the moment. Glancing at the woman next her she muttered, "Not much… Worked in an office… was a mom." She swallowed thickly at the admission. It was the first time she had volunteered such personal information.

"Oh." Maggie spoke quietly, her eyes apologetic. "Sorry."

"I'm not… its the best thing to ever happen to me." She replied before adding, "Made it all the more painful but… I don't regret it."

Maggie smiled sadly at her and drawled, "I didn't get a chance to thank you for helping Beth."

"Don't worry about it." Valentine avoided the gratitude, stabbing another walker, "she wants me to train her."

"That's good… I." Maggie's started and visibly swallowed, "I protect her too much. She needs to learn how to be strong."

"She's strong." Valentine spoke immediately surprising the woman. "I can see it in her, she just needs direction."

Maggie smiled, her dimples creasing her face. "Thank you just the same and for what it's worth, I'm sorry for how I treated you when you got here."

Shaking her head Valentine reassured, "It's fine. I don't give the best first impressions…. Or the second."

Maggie chuckled and stabbed another walker joking, "Well third times a charm I s'pose."

* * *

Rick was walking down the road towards them as they finished up with the fences.

"Me 'n Carol are goin' on a run." He rasped, his hands resting on his hips, his eyes avoiding hers. Valentine brow wrinkled in confusion, inquiring, "What? Why and where?"

"We gotta try some closer places in case they don't get back in time."

"I'll go. You stay." Valentine offered thinking Rick was more essential at the prison than she was.

"No." He replied instantly his expression tense. "Imma do it. You two keep the fences clear and get the kids anything they need. I'll be back soon."

Valentine watched him stride up the road to the car Carol was packing up. She looked at Maggie who shrugged at the man's strange demeanor. Deciding to just roll with it, Valentine helped Maggie get food to the kids and guard the fences. Maggie checked in on her dad who had entered the cellblock to help the ill. Valentine could tell she was trying to avoid thinking about Glenn but was struggling. Her eyes constantly falling onto the quarantined cellblocks door. Keeping guard outside, Valentine found herself pacing the courtyard looking for the return of the both supply runs despite knowing it was going to be hours at least. Her hands wrung the handle of her rifle just the same though. She wasn't used to worrying about others and now she had three of the four people she cared about out in the dangerous world without her as backup. It was more than unsettling, it was edging towards crushing worry.

* * *

_Meanwhile_

After losing their vehicle and evading a herd Daryl and the others found themselves on foot searching for a car. Daryl was pretty pissed off that they were now hiking through the woods and more than a days walk away if they couldn't find another ride. Tyreese had gone off the reservation and to be honest Daryl wasn't exactly surprised. He couldn't blame him for feeling like burning the whole world down. Daryl had felt the same when Merle was taken from him and he could see himself feeling the same for any one of his family if taken in the same way.

The tiny town they had located on the edges of the thick woods held an auto shop. "There." He drawled ticking his head to the side of the small building. Underneath a mass of fallen vines sat a rusty mini van. It would fit all of them and have room for supplies. Yanking all of the overgrowth off he popped the door open and hot-wired it. The engine tried to turn over but the battery gave way instantly.

"Need a new battery." He rasped, motioning his head to the shop, "Gotta be some in there."

Daryl tapped on glass, deep snarls came from inside, scratching hands clawed at the window. "Got some friends inside." He muttered, "Come on. Let's clear a path, see how many we got."

Michonne, Bob and Tyreese began yanking the vines off, the larger man tearing at them almost frantically.

"Hey, man, go easy. We don't know what we're dealing with." Bob suggested, his face worried at Tyreese's lack of caution.

Suddenly the glass broke, a rotting hand clawed at the angry man's forearm. Instead of killing it though his held on, pulling it towards him.

"Ty!" Michonne shouted trying to get to him before he was bitten. Daryl stabbed at the other corpses trying to get through while Bob brought a blade down on the walker grappling with Tyreese.

"What the hell man." He growled while Michonne asked, "Why the hell didn't you let go?"

"Does it matter?" he snapped, shoving himself upright and stalking inside the shop. Daryl looked over at Michonne seeing the same expression of anxiety. He wasn't sure if Tyreese meant, does it matter why he did it or does it matter that he did it at all but if he were to guess it would be the later. The man was struggling with not only losing his girlfriend but his sister could very well be dead now. The disease had been progressing so rapidly that it was inevitable they were going to come home to more lost residents. Sasha might be gone by the time they arrived home.

Eventually they got on the road again and quite quickly they were pulling up to the veterinary hospital. As they scouted the two-story brick building they could tell it had once been a camp for survivors. There were torn tents and soiled sleeping bags littering the long hallways. Empty tin cans and food wrappers were lining the walls.

"What do you think happened?"

"Same as always. They died." Daryl drawled, pressing his crossbow into his shoulder. They moved through the building, stepping over downed bodies and strewn furniture. Michonne located the large room storing the fast majority of the medicines they needed.

"Anything ending with -cillin or -cin, C-I-N, grab it. We'll dissolve the pills in the IVs, put 'em right into the bloodstream." Bob rattled off to them as they began pulling off bottles and bags of supplies. "Dosage will be tricky but considering the time we lost..."

"How'd you do?" Michonne asked seeing Daryl enter the room with a full duffle bag. "Bags, tubes, clamps, connectors. Everything on the list. What about y'all?" he drawled looking at the other's full bags. Bob wandered back and pulled his bag back onto his shoulder.

"Everything alright?" Daryl asked his eye scanning him for injuries.

"Yeah, we got it all."

"Yeah. We're good." Michonne answered joining them near the doorway.

Daryl gave them a nod and ticked his head to the hallway, "All right, let's roll."

As they exited the room and started down the hallways they ran into a large group of walkers. They were obviously fresh from the dead group, all of them with blood leaking from their eyes and mouths. Daryl's anxiety ratcheted up as he realized they had probably stumbled into the origin of the illness at the prison.

"Shit. Let's go, lets go." Daryl hollered moving them down a different darkened hallway. Jogging together in a group they found themselves blocked off by yet another shuffling group of undead.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Daryl shouted, putting his arm outward to stop the others from continuing down the hall. Turning on their heels they ran through a few conjoining rooms, jumping over fallen chairs and piles of trash. Michonne guided them away from the corpses with bleeding eyes and mouths. "We can't kill them. They're like the ones at the prison can't risk getting infected after all this."

After searching for an exit Daryl decided they would make their own, busting through a large window and jumping onto a carport covering. Bob fell towards the edge, his bag tumbling over the side to grabbed and clutched at by walkers.

Michonne shouted, yanking on his arm to save him, "Bob, let it go. Let it go, man."

Tyreese joined her, grabbing his wrist to pull him back onto the roof, "Just let it go!"

The man wouldn't listen, pulling his knapsack until it launched onto the corrugated metal next to Daryl. Picking up the sack, Daryl heard liquid sloshing inside. Shoving his hand into the bag he found nothing but a bottle of liquor.

"You got no meds in your bag? Just this?" Daryl growled, his hand gripping the bottle with whitened knuckles. The urge to smash the damn thing over Bob's head flooded him. The situation reminded him of his brother so much that all the latent anger from his whole life of being disappointed by his blood had his temper boiling. "You should have kept walking that day." He growled thinking of the day he brought Bob back to the prison, snarling, "N' I shoulda kept on drivin'. Fuckin' nothin but a no good addict  _bitch_."

Daryl took the bottle, pulling his arm back as if to launch it into the dead below. Bob laid his hand on his gun, speaking in a threatening tone, "Don't."

Stomping forward, Dayrl pressed his forehead onto the other man's just daring him to pull his weapon.

"Do it. Draw it pussy." He snarled, fisting the flannel of his shirt while fighting the desire to shove the man over the edge of the roof. That fucker risked the lives of his family by using his time to sniff out booze. If they were short on medicine because Bob failed to collect it Daryl could, no he would kill him with his bare hands.

"Just let it go, Daryl." Tyreese said, pulling on Daryl's vest, "The man's made his choice. Nothing you can do about it."

Michonne chimed in, "Just gotta let it go."

Bob spoke, his voice shaking, "I didn't want to hurt nobody. It was just for when it gets quiet."

Daryl tightened his grip, shaking the man while growling, "Take one sip before those meds get in our people, I will beat your fuckin' ass into the ground. You hear me? I'll kill ya'."

* * *

Rick returned to the prison with red eyes and an empty passenger seat. Valentine watched as he drove past her at the gate, a look of pure grief in his haunted face. Her chest clenched at the thought of having to tell Daryl. Besides Rick, Carol was his closest friend. The woman was very much a protective older sister to him and Valentine could tell she was the only reason Daryl took care of himself. He deserved to have people like Carol in his life and now she was taken from him.

Valentine jogged up to the parking area and met Rick at the drivers side door. Maggie joined them shortly wearing the same troubled expression as Valentine.

"Where's Carol?" Maggie voiced Valentine question. Rick scrubbed his jaw roughly, his teeth grinding audibly.

"Rick." Valentine demanded, her shoulders tensing for the response. He looked up at them both and rasped hoarsely, "She did it… David and Karen."

Maggie's mouth dropped open and she let her crowbar drop to her side. She looked shell shocked as her eyes flooded with tears. Valentine swallowed thickly and she asked, "She confess?"

"Yeah. Tol' me she did it to stop the spread. Burned em for good measure."

"Why would she do that? How?" Maggie stammered her voice cracking, "oh god Carol." She clenched her eyes.

"I gave her a car, supplies. I couldn't bring her back. What if it was Carl who was sick? Judith? I couldn't risk it." He explained while shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. "Tyreese…. He'd kill her."

Valentine cocked her head and she asked, "You think she'll just go? What about the girls? Daryl?"

"She's gone." Rick snapped his anger pointed at Valentine even though it was clearly at himself. "We'll take care of the girls and Daryl… He'll just have to understand."

* * *

The fences had begun to buckle after the sun set despite Rick and Valentine's tireless work to thin the dead. Maggie had entered prison after gunfire rung out from inside the sick bay. Eventually Carl joined them trying to keep the perimeter intact.

Valentine and the teen were bracing the fence with the long wooden poles while Rick helped push the weight away. The chain-link was bulging with the undead, gore smashing and slipping through the wires. The ground was slick with blood and viscera making the work dangerous.

"A'right. Another right here." Rick instructed, his gloved hands pushing on the fence while Carl and Valentine shoved the pole in. The sound of splintering wood had all three of their heads popping up, wide eyes watching the pole next to them snap in half like a toothpick.

"Shit. Run." Valentine shouted, turning towards Carl and shoving him out of the way. The kid stumbled away, his feet moving him towards the safety of the courtyard. The fence next to Valentine began to collapse on top of her, the weight of rotting bodies finally overcoming the metal links strength.

Valentine ran, her feet slipping in gore bringing the woman to her knees. She dug her hands into the earth as she scrambled for footing. Carl and Rick were just out of range of the collapsing fence shouting for her to run. Valentine finally got her feet moving forward as the metal fence post crashed onto her left ankle. Screaming in pain Valentine yanked at her foot but it was caught under the fencing. The dead were crawling up the chain-link, all hungry eyes and growling stomachs.

"Val!" Carl screamed from a few dozen feet away, a rifle aimed at the undead clawing at her. Rick was suddenly there, hoisting the metal pole shouting, "Go. Val. Go." Valentine yanked her ankle free and then ran towards Carl. Rick was on her heels and once they were a good distance, all three turned to shoot at the invading dead. The sound of rapid gunfire and the tinkle of brass casings hitting pavement was all Valentine could hear. Her shoulder ached from the constant recoil of the rifle butt.

They backed up as more spilled in over the dead corpses, the groans and growls getting closer.

"I'm out." Rick shouted from Valentine's right, his hand reaching behind her towards his son. Carl handed him another magazine before inserting another for himself. Valentine fired her last bullet as they started shooting. Pulling out the spare from her cargo pocket she quickly shoved it into place, pulling back the bolt action before once again firing. The gunshots were spacing out until there were no more making it through. They had essentially made a beaver damn equivalent of dead bodies in the perimeter breach.

All Valentine could hear was the painful ring of tinnitus and the whoosh of her heartbeat. She panted heavily her eyes frantically scanning the fallen bodies for survivors. Every so often finding another moving corpse only crushed rather than shot.

"Your ankle ok?" Carl asked coming to her side, his eyes taking in her gore covered leg. Valentine shrugged, "I think so. Hurts."

"You should go in. See if you're bleeding."

"Ok but we gotta kill any stragglers."

"Check yourself first. Please." Carl insisted, his eyes worried.

"Ok ok. I'll be right back."

The sound of a car approaching had them all pause though. Rick jogged down while Valentine held her position as a sniper, the car being unknown to them put her on edge. Soon they saw it was the supply run returning in a different vehicle than the one they left in. They had obviously run into trouble while beyond the fences.

The car pulled in and up to the parking spots, Tyreese and Bob jumping out immediately. Tyreese asked about his sister his eyes jumping from Carl to Valentine and then to Rick.

"We don't know. There was gunfire earlier. Maggie and Hershel are inside. We had a breach."

The others seemed to just notice the flood of dead bodies filling the path between fences as well as the lower courtyard.

"Jesus. You three do all this?"

"Yeah." Carl answered with a proud expression, his rifle cradled in his arms.

Tyreese and Bob jogged to the cellblock while Daryl and Michonne spoke to Rick. Valentine stayed near the dead, her machete out to put down any living dead. Her leg forgotten for now until someone relieved her. She wasn't taking any chances of a strangler getting through.

* * *

Daryl and Valentine met up by the pile of dead. She was putting down the stragglers. He noticed her limping, her body favoring her right side. "What happen to your leg?" He asked, his eyes worried. Valentine looked down in confusion having not even noticed the limp. She jutted her chin to the fence, "it fell on me."

"Jesus Christ Val." He growled stomping over and taking a knee by her side. She watched him unlace her boot and pull the leg of her cargos up. Hissing as the fabric rubbed against the giant contusion Valentine stumbled with vertigo.

"Hold on t'me." Daryl drawled, grabbing her hip until she brace a hand on his broad shoulder.

"M'fine Daryl." She murmured but balanced against him, watching as he looked over her bruises. Exhaustion hit her like a Mac truck, her body sagging into Daryl's. Her whole front resting against his side.

"Ya a'right?" He spoke hoarsely, clearing his throat as he looked up at her. Valentine realized her thumb was touching the bare skin under his collar while her fingers dug into the leather tightly. Despite seeing this she didn't remove her hand nor stop the subtle brush of her skin against his.

"Yeah." She gasped, swallowing thickly as she stared at his piercing blue eyes. Valentine's chin dropped to her chest as she remembered Carol but couldn't bring herself to tell him. She promised herself at daylight so he wouldn't run off into the darkness searching for her.

'Goddamnit Rick.' She cursed the man inwardly.

"Daryl! Val!" Michonne shouted, "Come on lovebirds"

Valentine eyes bulged out of her head and she stumbled away from him like he was on fire. Daryl looked just as surprised by the woman's teasing but also a little hurt from Valentine's abrupt departure. She felt a chill run through her as the heat from his body was gone.

"Sorry." She murmured, "She just…"

"It's fine." He rasped shortly, climbing to his feet before turning to leave. Valentine reached out and grabbed his wrist stopping him from walking away. Daryl turned back, his lip firmly between his teeth but his face blank. "Wha'?"

She swallowed and she whispered, "it surprised me and I didn't know if… it would piss you off."

"Why would it?"

"Cuz maybe you wouldn't like people thinking you'd ever.. You know be with something like me."

"Something? Yeah ain't a something Val." He drawled walking closer to her, his arm turning so he gripped her wrist instead. His rough fingers tips brushing against the sensitive skin of her arm. Valentine heart kicked up and her lips parted.

"I'm happy you're back safe." She whispered, avoiding his statement.

"Dixon." Bob hollered, "we need you man."

Daryl nodded and turn to her rasping, "let's talk later a'right?"

Valentine smirked giving him lazily head bob, "Alright."

* * *

Valentine helped Rick and Tyreese fix the fence while Daryl and Bob removed the dead from the cellblock. Hershel had been dosing everyone with the IV antibiotics Bob had whipped up. The sun would be up in an hour and Valentine had to make sure Rick was going to tell Daryl immediately. Not telling him was like lying and Valentine couldn't do that to him.

"You gotta tell him Rick." She spoke quietly as Tyreese walked away. Rick nodded, his fingers digging into his neck as if a massage would respite the grief and guilt weighing him down.

"I know." He rasped while staring off into the woods. Valentine stepped closer and growled, "I'm serious Rick. I can't not tell him and if it doesn't come from you he will never forgive you. You gotta tell him."

The distraught man rubbed his hand over his face roughly, his eyes red and watery. She watched him reel in the sorrow, his lip firmly gnawed between his teeth before nodding, "a'right. I promise."

Valentine nodded gripping his forearm tightly, "We'll get through it."

Rick swallowed thickly, his eyes straying off to the woods again before wandering away from Valentine along the fencing. She watched him inspecting the work they had just completed his hands pulling and testing the panels.

Sighing heavily at the weight of the last few days Valentine headed indoors, her eyes heavy and itchy. She needed to wash some of the grim off and take a nap. The rest of the day would be filled with body removal and more fence repair so a full shower was pointless but she couldn't in good conscious lie in her bed as she was. Her skin was sticky and smelled of rot. The new world was a horrific potpourri of odors and living in it made most smells bland but that could not be said for Valentine at the moment. Stopping at her cell she grabbed a change of clothing and her bar of soap.

The shower room was quiet, most people still in sick bay or sleeping allowed Valentine a little peace and quiet. Stripping down in a stall furthest from the door she used a washcloth to scrub down her face, arms and chest. The lavender soap made her sigh in relief. She could feel the complete body exhaustion making her slump, her shoulders sagging and head lolling down.

'Jesus. I'm fucking tired.' She groaned inwardly, her hands hanging limply. Pulling on her clean set of clothes she collected the pile of dirty things and her toiletries before exiting the bathroom. With her head barely raised to watch where she was going Valentine ran head on into a broad chest, Daryl gripped her arms as she almost fell.

"Ya a'right?" He rasped, his throat sounding dry and raw.

Nodding drowsily she murmured, "Just tired."

Giving her a head bob, "Bes' get some rest. Tomorrows gonna be busy."

"Yeah." She agreed but made no effort to leave. Daryl's hands were still holding her biceps, his thumb stroking the freshly washed skin.

Chewing her lip she reached out her free hand slowly, curling it into his leather vest and pulling him closer. Daryl cleared his throat awkwardly, asking "Whatcha doin'?"

Valentine didn't answer, instead she rested her forehead against the center of his chest and wrapped her free arm around his waist. She had the overwhelming need to be close to him and the idea of hugging him after such a troubling day was too hard to resist. His large arm wrapped easily around her shoulders and she felt him press his face into her hair.

"Sorry. I didn't wash my hair, probably smells like walker." She mumbled into the dirty flannel stretching across Daryl's warm chest.

"Smell like lavender."

Valentine smirked, pulling back to look up at the man she was growing quite attached too and teased, "A redneck who knows their flowers huh?"

"Pffft. Just know my plants." He snarked, his cheeks blushing slightly from her teasing. Valentine bit her lip and tried to squash the urge to kiss him. She wasn't sure if it was delirium from being so worn out but all she could think about was how soft his lips looked. How inviting they seemed. She wanted to know what he tasted like because his scent was warming her from the inside out. If it were anything like that she might burst into flames.

"You should get some rest." He rasped, his hand resting on her hip, his thumb rubbing circles around her hipbone. Valentine nodded lazily as a need began to burn deep in her gut that she hadn't felt in a very long time. She murmured breathlessly, "Yeah."

After another second of staring at each other Daryl cupped her cheek in one hand and leaned down kissing her softly on the temple, his lips resting there while whispering, "Sleep sweetheart. I'll see ya in a few hours."

Valentine nodded against his lips and peered up at him, her hand resting on his chest as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him chastely on the cheek. Smirking at his tiny grin she threatened, "You better sleep too or else."

"Or else what?" He drawled with a cocky grin, an almost flirtatious twinkle in his eye. She walked away backwards, a smile curling her lips as she bragged, "I'll kick your ass Dixon. You, me and a knuckle sandwich."

Daryl laughed quietly and jutted his chin to the cellblock, "Go lay down. You're talkin' crazy now."

Smirking at him she turned to go to bed, holding a middle finger up over her shoulder, "We'll see about that smartass."

She could hear him laugh again as she enter the cellblock. Her grin didn't fade until her head hit the pillow and even then she fell asleep with her lips twitched slightly and a warmth filling her chest.

* * *

Valentine and Daryl were loading the walker's bodies onto a flatbed trailer to burn. The sun was beating down of them and the dead were getting more and more ripe as the time ticked by. Pulling the bandana off her face that Daryl gave her, Valentine sipped from a bottle of water before handing it off to him. Michonne wandered up as they both took a break informing them, "Hey Dixon. Rick's looking for you."

"A'right." He drawled, "Can ya help Val get these out to the burn pile?"

"Of course." She replied with a cheeky grin making her way over to the truck's passenger side door. Valentine swallowed thickly knowing what Rick was about to do and couldn't bring herself to look Daryl in the eye.

"Once you're back we'll get the rest of the folks buried." He rasped as he tried to catch Valentine's gaze. Giving him a nod she chewed her lip, "Sure. See you in a bit." Daryl turned to walk away but Valentine couldn't help but call out, "Daryl."

The man turned and raised a questioning eyebrow. Swallowing thickly she shook her head and murmured, "Nothin'… I'll see you when I get back."

With a furrowed brow Daryl nodded slowly rasping, "I'll be 'ere."

Michonne climbed into the truck, propping her sword against the door as Valentine hopped into the drivers seat.

"So what's up with you two?" She asked Valentine as they drove out of the prison gates. Sighing she couldn't bring herself to tell the woman the news about Carol, muttering, "Nothin'."

"Nothin Huh? He likes you, ya know... Likes you likes you."

Valentine rolled her eyes and snorted, "We in middle school again?"

Michonne chuckled with a bright grin teasing, "With the puppy dog eyes he keeps throwing your way? I'd say so."

Shaking her head Valentine denied it despite knowing exactly what she was talking about. The man would look at her through his bangs and she couldn't help but want to give him anything he wanted. "Whatever. Dixon doesn't have puppy dog eyes."

"Oh.. What does he have?"

"Fuck me eyes." Valentine muttered before she could stop herself, a blush creeping up her chest. Michonne laughed loudly her hand slapping her knee and joked, "Ok so maybe we're in high school."

They both laughed lightly as they pulled into the clearing they used to get rid of bodies. Michonne shouldered her sword as both women began unloading the trailer. Valentine was thinking about Daryl and if the tiny moments of intimacy they'd had over the last week were appropriate or if she should put an end to it. Was it right for her to move on? Would Paul approve of it? What would he think of Daryl?

Valentine felt like he would approve of him. Daryl was selfless and in a way he reminded Valentine very much of Paul. A tiny part of her felt bad for making the comparison, she didn't want to confuse the two men. Because she wasn't confused. Daryl was Daryl and she liked him for him, not for any resemblance to her dead husband. However she liked that he was the same type of honorable man that her husband was. The man would go without eating for days if it meant others had full bellies. Valentine had seen him crumpled in excruciating pain from a set of broken ribs and refuse pain medicine in hopes of having it for someone more deserving. He was a good man, a strong man and she was pretty sure if there was anyone Paul would want for her, it'd be Daryl.

"It's good you know." Michonne's voice startled Valentine as she wiped her brow on the back of her hand. "You and Dixon. It's good for both of you. You deserve it."

Chewing her lip as she watched the woman throw dry branches over the bodies for kindling. Valentine asked quietly, "You don't think it's wrong of me... To move on so quickly?"

"Quickly? You lost your family a year ago. I think in this world, you gotta take what happiness you can find. If he makes you happy, go for it."

Valentine smiled shyly and she confessed, "I think he does... no.. yeah he does."

"Good. Do it." Michonne spoke firmly with a grin, "you too are perfect for each other."

The click of a gun cocking had Valentine spinning around right before the butt of a gun slammed into her temple and everything went dark.

* * *

Daryl gripped the handrail as Rick and him stood inside the empty cellblock. His knuckles were bleached white as he forced them to stay in place. He wanted to beat the ever-living shit out of the ex Sherriff deputy.

"Man, you couldn't have waited till we got back?" he growled his narrowed eyes drilling holes into the man he considered a brother.

"Until Tyreese got back?" Rick asked, dipping his head as if trying to pacify the angry man.

Daryl waved a dismissive hand and rasped, "I could've handled that."

Sighing Rick tried to explain, "She killed two of our own. She couldn't be here. She's gonna be all right." He paused rubbing his jaw before resting his hands on his hips, "She has a car, supplies, weapons. She's a survivor."

With lips pulled into a sneer he growled, "Stop saying that like you don't believe it."

Rick dropped his chin to his chest, his voice filled with guilt, "She did it. She said it was for us. That's how it was in her head. She wasn't sorry."

Daryl shook his head as if he could rid himself of the conflicting identities of the woman he held as his closest confidante. There were things she knew about him that even Rick, his brother, didn't know.

"Man, that's her, but that ain't her." He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his forefingers, "What are we supposed to do about those two girls?"

"I told her we'd look after them." He responded tiredly adding, "I haven't told Tyreese yet. I don't know how he's gonna take it."

Growling under his breath Daryl ticked his chin to the cellblock exit, "Let's go find out I guess."

The pair found Tyreese in the tombs searching for some kind of clues of who murdered Karen and David. They approached carefully but when the large man saw them he marched forward. "You guys got to see this."

Rick tried to speak to him about Carol but the man insisted they follow him instead. "I was just looking for... answers... and I found this." Tyreese told them while pointing at the disemboweled bunny nailed to a board. Daryl's nose wrinkled in disgust, the hunter in him was revolted by the waste and the cruelty.

"Gotta be the same person that killed Karen and David did this. Remember the rats at the fence? They showed up the same day she was killed. We got a psychopath living with us. And we all know who it is."

Daryl felt his eyes narrow to angry slits as he growled, "oh yeah who's that?"

Rick put a hand on Daryl's shoulder, "Don't Daryl. Look Tyreese we gotta talk. The person who did this, didn't kill Karen and David."

"Why do you say that?" Tyreese asked, his eyes wild. Rick opened his mouth to answer when an explosion rocked the cement building. Daryl's eyes widened and connected with Rick's, fear split through his chest like a railroad spike. Whatever made the sound and shook the earth wasn't looking to make friends.

The trio jogged through the tombs and exited the prison block to find something out of their worst nightmares. The tall man in black stood on top of a tank and was surrounded by over a dozen gunmen. Daryl's throat closed as the Governor's voice bellowed out across the grass field, "Rick! Come down here. We need to talk."

 


	24. Chapter 24

Valentine sat with a hood over her head in the vehicle they transported them in. She could hear the people outside hollering back and forth. Michonne was sitting next to her, her warm shoulder almost reassuring but not quite enough. The man guarding them was panting, adrenaline and anxiety seemed to be running through them all.

The Governor was shouting, "Rick! Come down here. We need to talk."

The sound of Rick shouting back caught her ears but she was unable to understand him.

The crazed one-eyed leader rattled the van windows with his shouts, "Is Michonne on the council? What about this new woman, the blonde? She on the council, too?"

The van door slid open and she was dragged out into the sunlight. Soon the hood was ripped off her head and she blinked at the sudden brightness. She could see her group all pressed against the inner fence watching in shock. The Governor yanked her in front of him to stand by the large tank. She peered up at the prison and felt her heart hammering in her chest. Sweat dripped down her temple stinging the cut from being pistol whipped by the towering man behind her.

"You're making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here. Let's have that talk," The Governor shouted over her shoulder before shoving her to her knees. He griped her hair tightly as a man handed over Michonne's katana.

There was a long silence as she watched Rick hug Carl before striding down the hill. The man behind her was muttering under his breath, prayers and threats alike ranging from coherent to maniacal. 'Fuck this guy's crazier than Negan,' she thought wryly.

"Let 'em go right now. I'll stay down here. Talk as long as you want. But you let 'em go. You got a tank. You don't need hostages." Rick drawled his hands up passively. The man's hand tightened in her hair and he yanked her head back making her cringe. Sneering the Governor drawled, "I do. This is just to show you I'm serious. Not to blast a hole in our new home. You and your people, you have till sundown to get out of here or they die."

Valentine watched as the group in the courtyard behind the wires, their hands holding guns. She could make out Daryl and Carl standing next to each other and felt her heartache. Valentine didn't want Carl to see whatever was about to transpire, he'd seen too much already.

Rick rasped, "Doesn't have to go down this way."

He was watching her closely, his neck straining with the anger, his eyes desperate for a solution. She could see his hands clenching over and over as he watched the Governor hold the katana loosely in his hand.

"I got more people, more firepower. We need this prison."

Rick stepped forward, his hand up again as if trying to calm the situation, "It's not about the past. It's about right now. There are children here. Some of them are sick. They won't survive. We gotta talk about this."

Valentine heard the man laugh dryly before drawling, "I have a tank. And I'm letting you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about?"

There was a tense silence as everyone stared at each before skipping their eyes between the two leaders. Valentine swallowed thickly as the Governor brought the blade up to her neck.

'This is how it ends Val. After all of it, you get killed by a crazed pirate with a god complex.'

"D-don't, don't do that." Rick stammered his boots scuffing on the dirt as he lurched forward, his hands raised.

"I could shoot you all. You'd all shoot back. I know that. But we'll win and you'll be dead. All of you." the man behind her threatened, his hand yanking her head backwards to expose her neck further. Rick's eyes were drilling into her, silently asking her what to do. She had no answers for him. Without a miracle she wasn't sure how they would survive an attack by a tank.

"Doesn't have to be like that." Rick begged, his face paling at the sight of the blade pressing against her neck.

A gunshot made Valentine jump, the sword slicing lightly, blood trickling down her chest. Walkers were making their way to the situation because of the shouts. Some of the Governors men were shooting walkers as they came their way.

"Noise will only draw more of them over. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to get out of here." The one-eyed tyrant spoke evenly, his hand adjusting on the katana hilt, his knuckles whitening. She could see him itching to take her head off. He wanted to kill them all. He wasn't going to do anything peacefully. Rick was wasting his breath and delaying the inevitable.

"You got maybe about an hour of sunlight left. I suggest you start packing. The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be for you to get out of here."

The conversation continued, Rick imploring the others to talk it out, to do it without violence. Valentine smiled sadly at the man who had become a friend. Rick was desperate for the world to be different, for the people to be different. She knew it was impossible though, especially the man standing behind her with a very sharp sword. He was a monster just like most and beside death nothing would make him change.

"Put down your weapons, walk through those gates... you're one of us. We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far." Rick drawled, eyes trailing over each person beyond the fence, "We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We're not too far-gone. We get to come back. I know... we all can change."

Valentine smiled at him again, her eyes tearing up as she felt the hold on her head tighten exponentially. She was going to die now. It had been a long time coming and if she were honest, she was slightly relieved. Making blurry eye contact with Rick she watched him see the peace she was feeling right before a gunshot cracked the tense silence and the sword sliced into her neck.

* * *

_Moments before._

Daryl watched the man they had failed to kill hold Valentine by the hair, Michonne's sharp blade pressing into her pale flesh. His heart was slamming against his ribs as if on a mission to escape the confines of his chest.

"We gotta do something." Carl growled next to him, his rifle resting on the wire fencing. Daryl agreed but Rick was down in the middle of it, so were Valentine and Michonne. One wrong move and people he cared for deeply may end up in the crossfire.

Sighing Daryl glanced down and rasped, "Your dad's got it. They're talking."

"We could kill the Governor right now." Carl spoke emphatically, his eyes squinting down his sights.

"From 100 yards?" he asked the young man with a cocked eyebrow.

"I'm a good shot." The teen growled, his hand tightening on the rifle grip. "I could end this right now."

"Yeah, or you could start something else. You gotta trust him." Daryl spoke confidently despite the terror gripping his heart in a vise. He needed to believe it otherwise he was going to run down the hill screaming like a banshee.

They could hear Rick and the Governor hollering back and forth, the conversation going nowhere. Behind Daryl people were being led to the bus, bags hastily packed. Some were still sick, blankets on their shoulders as they shakily climbed the steps.

Daryl watched in horror as walkers began coming out of the woods, shuffling towards the loud shouts and angry voices. Gunfire started taking down the walking corpses, the shots making more noise to draw the biters.

"Fuck. A herd is going to come this way." Bob hissed while handing out rifles to the group watching. Daryl was too focused on the trail of blood now trickling down Valentine's neck, soaking into her shirt. The governor yanked her head back, her face looking pained.

"He's going to kill her." Carl muttered his determine eyes staring down his rifle sights, his narrow finger sliding onto the trigger. Daryl was about to tell him to not fire when his rifle discharged, smoke winding out of the end of his barrel. Daryl's eyes jumped to the man beyond the fence as the bullet struck the side of his face, knocking him backwards. The hand holding the sword pulled upward, the metal slicing into Valentine's arched neck. Daryl's heart stopped and a sob was wretched from his throat as blood sprayed outwards into the grass. He watched her fall sideways, chest covered in crimson as her body hit the ground limply.

"Noooooooooo!" he screamed until his voice cracked like broken glass, clenching the wires as gunfire hailed down on them. His eyes were burning and throat closing, his lungs refusing to pull in air.

Carl was wild eyed, his mouth open and closing repeatedly. "Is she ok? Is she ok?"

"Don' matter. The dead'll get 'er now." Daryl snapped down at the kid while pulling his gun up and firing at the people now marching towards the prison. There was no time for blame though, the Governor's men were raining down hell upon them. The noise was deafening and as much as Daryl wanted to run down the hill and see if Valentine was truly dead, he couldn't. Everything went by in a blur, rapid gunfire and screams. The sound of the tank moving forward, crushing the fence had everyone running for cover. Daryl shot and stabbed walkers and the Governor's men as they invaded the prison grounds. He screamed for the others to get cover, to run for the woods.

The tank made its way slowly up the hill, its giant barrel firing off huge shells. Fire was blazing inside the prison already and the fences were destroyed. It was a total loss. It was all gone. She was gone. The thought made his chest contract so painfully his feet faultered.

Daryl killed everything in sight, rage and fury fueling his body. Eventually he got a grenade dropped down the tank's barrel. The driver tried to escape the explosion only to be shot in the head by Daryl as he ran past. He tried to move towards the field beyond but couldn't get through the wall of walkers. They were overrun and there wasn't much he could do about it.

It wasn't until he came upon Beth that Daryl realized he needed to help those next to him, not those who were probably dead beyond the fences. Valentine had been bleeding profusely and walkers were all over the grassy area. If she hadn't died from the sword wound, the dead surely consumed her.

"We got to go, Beth. We got to go." Daryl shouted over the sound of raging fire and snarling walkers. The young woman was shell shocked, her face pale. Daryl knew exactly what she was feeling but he couldn't let yet another person down. He needed to keep Beth alive for her sister, for her father, wherever they may be.

They travelled through the woods, marching without a destination except to escape the herd developing in the area. Daryl didn't have time to think of anything but surviving the night. Maybe later he could think of the woman that had got under his skin. The woman who had crawled inside and made a home in the empty shell of his heart. He couldn't think about her final moments at the hands of that monster. What must have happened to her body once the walkers rushed the area. How she must have been torn apart and eaten. He couldn't allow himself to think of her rising to her feet again with milky eyes and claw like hands. It wouldn't help him or Beth to be lost inside his head, so he ran. He dragged Beth along and away hoping that eventually he would have time to mourn the woman he never truly got to have.

* * *

Valentine fell to the side, her head throbbed with a rush of blood and adrenaline. Warmth was flooding her chest and clothing as the cut on her neck pulsed. She panted heavily her bound body squirming on the ground away from the man who cut her.

"Where are you goin', Darlin'?" The Governor growled, grabbing her hair and yanking her backwards. Looking up she saw his face and clothing were bloodied, skin and meat hung from the cheek a bullet had struck. Valentine pulled her knees up under her, kicking a leg back to try and dislodge him from her. They scrambled on the ground, his hand gripping the sword again as he tried to cut her. She squirmed and growled as he pulled the blade back over his head.

Suddenly he stopped, his eyes rising to something beyond them. Valentine saw a woman carrying a dead child in her arms, her face ashen and clothing covered in mud. The man attacking her stood up and began stumbling towards the pair. Taking the opportunity Valentine rolled underneath the vehicle and pulled her legs through her bound arms, finally unravelling the rope. She felt her neck still gushing blood but could tell it wasn't a major artery. Pulling out the bandana Daryl had given her, she pressed it into the wound, moaning in pain but keeping pressure firm.

The gunfire was ricocheting off the car above her, screams and explosions bringing the dead in droves. Valentine lay there feeling dizzy, the blood flow was slow but still significant. She watched as shuffling feet stumbled by her, moans and snarls making her scoot further into the shadows of the undercarriage.

'Wait it out Val.' She told herself, pressing hard into the wound on her neck while grinding her teeth through the sharp stinging pain. A throbbing emanated from her throat as she stuffed the rag into the injury. 'Just wait it out.' she repeated before her eyes closed heavily, the blood loss finally taking her consciousness.

* * *

Walking up underneath a car was a first for Valentine. It took a few dry-eyed blinks to understand where she was and remember what had occurred. She could hear the roar of a fire and the snarling moans of the undead. Peering out from under the SUV, Valentine could see the rubble of their home smoldering. Darkness had fallen since she had passed out and she knew anyone she knew was probably gone. She hoped they were at least, far away from the death and destruction. Laying back she felt the neck wound to see if it were still weeping but the area felt dry and crusty.

Deciding the best plan of action was to wait for sunrise, Valentine lay watching the area around her for any curious crawling dead. It would only take one to get a horde clawing at her so she stayed nice and quiet.

The sun rose and Valentine could see the destruction the one eyed asshole unleashed on her family. 'Family?' she thought with a quirked brow shaking it off and making her next moves.

Making sure the immediate area was clear Valentine crawled out carefully from under the car. She saw the vehicle they had transported her in, knowing her blades were stored in the front seat. Moving on her belly, she army crawled through the long grass and reached the white van.

Getting to her knees she pulled the door open and climbed inside, shutting it as quietly as possible. Looking at the sight before her, Valentine saw the crumbling guard towers and trampled fences. The yard was filled with the undead, all shuffling and stumbling into each other. There were countless bodies strewn along the grasses, some corpses crawling along on broken limbs. The smell of rot and smoking rubble tasted bitter in her mouth and burned her eyes. Squeezing them shut for a moment Valentine swallowed down the pain of not knowing if her group made it out alive.

If he made it out alive.

'Fuck,' she growled inwardly while flipping the visor down to see her injury in the mirror.

Her neck was covered in dried blood, the wound slowly seeping again from moving around. The majority of the injury was more of a flayed layer of skin from the blade but there was a deeper cut near the edge that needed stitches.

Valentine searched the glove box and found a small first aid kit. With shaky hands she wiped the injury to see just how deep it was but as soon as she began wiping away the sticky dried blood it started oozing.

'Shit. Bad idea.' She growled grabbing a t-shirt from the backseat and holding the wound again.

A loud smack against the passenger window had Valentine startled. A dead man began clawing at the glass trying to get inside, his bloodied mouth biting at her. A few others began to head their way so Valentine decided to was time to head out to wherever she could find shelter. Looking at the seat beside her she saw her blades and a backpack on the ground. Turning the engine over she found a half a tank of gas, which made her smile sightly.

"Ok. What now Val?" she asked out loud while shifting into reverse. No answer came to mind other than find shelter. Backing up and turning the wheel she steered the vehicle onto the dirt road and drove away. The smoking cement complex that had finally become home faded in the rearview mirror as Valentine drove towards the unknown, no family in sight.

* * *

The preschool was far enough away from the prison to be safe from the incoming herd but close enough to possibly find others. Valentine cleared it carefully, one hand holding her neck as her other killed a few lone walkers. Her feet were stumbling over each other by the time she was done. Moving into the staff bathroom Valentine spilled out the first aid supplies she had acquired from the van. Testing the faucet she found it still had some water left in whatever reserve tanks they had. Returning to a classroom she found a plastic tub filled with crayons and dumped it on the ground before returning to the bathroom.

Valentine filled it with whatever water she could and began cleaning the wound. It was pretty gruesome and definitely troublesome. If not thoroughly cleaned, it would kill her. After wiping away as much of the crusted blood away she finally could see her need for stitches on one side of the injury curling around her neck.

"Shit. This is going to fucking hurt." She muttered pulling out a tiny sewing kit from the first aid bag.

"Don't be such a pussy." A deep voice sneered from the shadows. Valentine's drowsy eyes shot to the gaping bathroom stall door behind her. A dark shape sauntered out towards her. She shook her head to clear her vision but there he stood, as handsome and dangerous looking as ever.

"Shut up." Valentine murmured her hands fumbling with the spool of thread.

"Now why would I do a fucking thing like that?" Negan joked leaning against the wall next to her. She could not only see him out of her periphery but reflected in the mirror. 'Losing your fucking mind Val.' She scolded herself.

He cocked his head to the side and informed her, "Jesus another scar added to that mess of a body."

Valentine wrinkled her nose and growled, "and who's fault is that?!"

Negan smirked and shrugged his broad shoulders , "Technically it's yours because you misbehaved."

"Go fuck yourself Negan." She sneered adding, "you're dead anyways so fuck off."

Threading the needle with violently shaky hands, Valentine took a few calming breathes before leaning closer into the mirror. The first puncture caused her eyes to water and breath to catch, stars bursting behind her clenched eyelids.

"That's it Love." Negan spoke calmly, his expression something closer to concerned, "Just go slow."

Taking a slow even breath she began pulling the thread through her flayed skin, whispering, "Breathe."

"Good girl." The man or mirage next to her murmured, "such a tough fucking bitch Angel. It's what I love about you."

Sticking the needle back into her skin Valentine hissed in pain before grunting, "you don't love me."

"Sure I do." He replied before cringing at the sight of her stabbing through her neck, pulling the bloody thread through again. "Jesus Love. You've got a giant set on you. I'm not fucking sure I could sew up my own neck."

Valentine ground her teeth hissing, "Pussy."

Negan chuckled and teased, "Yes please. I haven't gotten laid since you fucking left me."

"I didn't fucking leave you." she growled, tying off the thread with a wince. "I killed you." Valentine slid to the ground, picking up a bottle of water with trembling hands. Her head swam with dizziness, her stomach roiling with nausea.

"Same difference. Still means I haven't gotten laid." He quipped, sitting across from her on the ground. Rolling her eyes she mumbled, "You're dead dipshit. You can't fuck."

"We could try." Negan suggested with a flirtatious grin, "Now that the rednecks gone you won't be getting any anytime soon."

"Shut up." She grumbled, resting her head against the wall tiredly. "I'll find 'im."

"Sure ya will Angel. Sure ya will. And I'm drinking fucking Mai Tais in Hell." He drawled with a wolfish grin. Valentine ignored the tormenting hallucination and pressed the fresh gauze into the inflamed skin.

"There. All better." She mumbled under her breath, sweat dripping down her temple and spine. "Now you won't bleed to death. Sepsis maybe." She huffed out a laugh feverishly while slumping to the ground to fall unconscious.

* * *

When the injured woman's eyes opened she saw beams of sunlight peaking through the metal grate covered windows. Dust floated in the warm looking ray, the air stuffy and moist.

Pulling herself upright, Valentine took stock of her body's injuries. She rolled each wrist and bent her arms, flexing to feel for wounds. The only real pain was coming from her neck and ankle. The bruise from the fence collapse, how ever many days ago that was, still smarted. It ached like a sprain and made her wince as weight was applied. Valentine would have to take it easy and not push it for fear of worsening it. The woman drank water and ate a can of peas before rechecking the wound on her neck. Peeling back the gauze she found the raw patch missing skin. Michonne's blade had been so sharp that it flayed the epidermis right off leaving exposed muscle and tendons just above her collarbone. It was the grossest injury Valentine had ever seen on herself, including her back's disgusting scene. It would take months of skin regrowth to heal and that was if she kept it from being infected. In the old world surgeons would have given her a skin graft but she would have to settle for whatever scabbing could occur.

The end she had to stitch looked better, inflamed from the sutures by not infected. Not yet anyways. The next step on her agenda was finding medicine. Without it she may have done everything for no reason. She needed to keep herself alive so she could find the others.

So she could find him.

There was a definite difference in the pain of loss for Rick and Michonne opposed to Daryl. That ache was deeper and stronger, all encompassing and completely distracting. A lot of things rattled around her head but the majority of them were about Daryl and the regret she had for wasting time. All the 'what ifs' and 'I wishes.' All of which were pointless and counterproductive.

After redressing the injury she grabbed Daryl's bandana she had washed after cleaning the wound and used it to cover her neck. Tying it around and providing the gauze with another layer of defense. Valentine wasn't going to risk walker blood seeping into the injury and if that meant wearing a turtleneck in Georgia she would. The bandana scarf would have to work for now though.

Scavenging the small brick building was easy, most of the rooms providing little to no real supplies. Valentine did luck out and find half a z-pack of antibiotics in the desk of a teacher. It wasn't a full cycle of the drugs but it might help keep her from getting sepsis or some other deadly infection.

Pulling out the map from the stolen backpack Valentine went over her options of searching for the others. She had the vehicle but would run out of gas quickly if she were to just drive around looking for the group. Valentine couldn't count on the thing even helping her find them since most of them would know to stick to the woods. If she wanted to find Daryl, well she would have to hike through the thickest of the thick. That man would not be making it easy on her and she supposed she couldn't blame him. From Daryl's point of view Valentine was surely dead. There was no way they had missed her getting practically beheaded, not to mention the walkers in the field. She truly lucked out not being eaten alive that night. Hopefully that luck would hold and she'd find those that she had lost.

* * *

_"We ain't gonna see any o them 'gain! Not Rick, not Maggie, not Val."_

_"You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone."_

_"Gonna be the last man standing."_

_"It ain't your fault Daryl. She's dead but it ain't your fault."_

The words were haunting Daryl as he stumbled along the road after the mysterious white cross emblazoned vehicle. Beth and he were overrun and someone had taken advantage of his attention being elsewhere. He should've been protecting the girl and instead Daryl was trailing after a non existent path. There was no hope of finding the car but he couldn't stop.

'One fuckin' job Darylina. Ya can't keep some jailbait alive. Hells bells boy, your own woman got sliced and fuckin' diced 'n what? Ya run away like some bitch?' Merle's ugly sneer flashed through his mind, the older sibling's ruthless torments still plaguing him from death.

"Fuck you Merle." He muttered, his road worn boots scuffing the cracked blacktop. Daryl's knees buckled, his body thrown forward to his hands. He rocked forward, panting heavily as his crossbow clattered to the ground. All Daryl could hear was the rattling vacuum of his lungs sucking in air and the thundering of his blood pumping.

"That's right boy. Ya jus' a lil bitch like always. Ricks lil lap dog." He chortled, slapping his gut while curling his mouth maliciously. "That it baby brother? Ya roll over and give up huh? These sick fucks take that lil girl and ya what, lay down at take it like some faggot?"

Daryl panted, his head tilting up to the sky to look at the plaguing phantom, "ain't nobody's bitch."

"Tha' right?" A deep timbre asked from the forest edge. Daryl's head lolled to the side and he saw the group of men approaching him. He sat in a crossroads both physically and figuratively. There was truly no way knowing what direction Beth was taken in. He would have to chose his path and hope for the best. The other crossroad was how to handle the new threats. Fight them? Or join them? If Daryl fought he'd die. There were too many for him on a good day and he had just run for twenty-four hours. He was a train wreck and was pretty sure a well-placed kick from a toddler would have him collapsing in on himself.

Figuratively he had to decide if he were going to give up chasing a phantom car and chose self-preservation. Could he give up on the girl just like the prison, just like Val. Daryl didn't even try to go back and he'd given up trying to reach her when she went down. If he'd been a real man he'd had gone down to make sure she wasn't just hurt. Or God forbid  _turned_. But no Daryl wasn't brave enough and now here he sat surrounded and out number having lost yet another family member. 'Fuckin useless boy, ain't worth nuthin'.' his pa roared inside him, the words like a vise around his lungs forced the air from his body. Daryl watched his vision go spotty until he forced himself to listen to the wolves circling him.

The leader of the ragtag group of men had hollow beady eyes and a predatory smile. Daryl had known men just like him all his godforsaken life, most were his pa or Merle's friends. The type of redneck assholes who now reveled in the apocalypse for the lack of legal consequences. They were enjoying the spoils of war and that meant taking and devouring anything and everything they wanted.

"Come on, fella, suicide is stupid. Why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people? Name's Joe." He introduced himself after his lengthy drawl about the consequences of trying to fight them. Daryl kept his bow aimed but decided on the path of the least resistance. He'd play nice and stay alive until he found a time to escape. There was no saving Beth if he was dead, so he'd bid his time and hopefully take a few of the assholes out before he left.

"Daryl," he grunted lowering his bow to the ground.

* * *

It had been a week or so since the fall of the prison when Valentine had to make a run for it into the woods, ditching her vehicle. The herd had spread out or turned its course because the area flooded with them one afternoon. She ran as carefully as possible, her leg feeling weak and neck stinging with every step. The vibration of her boot hitting the ground jostled and stretched the sutures, pain shooting outwards. She kept her jaws tightly shut and swallowed down the yelps of pain.

Near dusk she heard a scream off to her right that caused her feet to stutter. Valentine felt completely torn about approaching but forced herself through the fear. If it were someone she knew and she didn't help, Valentine would never forgive herself. Moving quickly and quietly she reached the edge of a tree line. Peering through the thick brush she caught sight of a group of seven men, all dirty and dangerous looking. They carried a variety of weapons and all seemed at ease with using them. The group loosely surrounded a man and woman, the man dead and the woman was being attacked. The rest of the predators circling were rifling through their belongings.

"Claimed," one shouted holding up a switchblade. Valentine ground her teeth as the woman's screams halted with a loud crunch, the man accidentally snapping her neck.

"Goddamnit Len!" the man with the blade hollered, "I didn' even get a fuckin ride, man."

"Well have at it, enjoy the sloppy seconds." Len snarked with a maniacal giggle, tucking himself back into his pants. The others chuckled at the others misfortune of not getting a chance to rape the poor woman before her death. Valentine seethed and prayed for the strength to wait to kill them all. She was far from healthy at the moment and if she wanted to survive killing a large group of able bodied men she would need to be healthy. Even then it was a grave risk.

Valentine would have to follow the men, there were too many even for her and the wound on her neck opened every time she used both her arms to fight. She needed a couple days to attempt killing every one of the evil bastards or risk really harming herself. Her task of finding the others was still important but Valentine had to rid the earth of the monsters before her. She couldn't risk one of her own stumbling onto the group.

So Valentine stalked after her prey, observed them hunting for someone who had supposedly wronged them. She listened to them growl and snarl like wild dogs, fighting over scraps. Keeping her distance at all times Valentine watched and waited, cataloging the men's habits and weaknesses.

One excessively hot day had her peering at the men from dozens of yards away. The troupe of men hiked through woods towards the railroad tracks. She was never expecting to see a familiar face when the men found a figure hunched over in the road. The crossbow and leather vest caught her eyes instantly and when the mop of dirty hair tipped up, head heavy with exhaustion, Daryl's piercing blue gaze struck her like lightening. Valentine dug her nails into the tree she hid behind until blood dripped from her fingertips, every hair on her body standing on end.

'Daryl.' She gasped inwardly, her eyes prickling painfully. 'Please God not again.' Valentine couldn't watch another man she cared for die at the hands of animals.

The men were circling him, each claiming his belongings, taunting him with insults. Daryl pushed himself up and aimed his crossbow at them, his narrowed eyes sliding between all the threats surrounding him. The leader drawled on and on until offering Daryl a spot in their sick crew. Valentine wasn't surprised Daryl joined them. It was a survival decision and the only choice was to join the enemy until escape was possible. Valentine was intimately aware of the tactic. She lived it for a year in Sanctuary.

The group followed the train tracks until they camped in abandoned warehouse. She had watched them fight earlier in the day and from the sounds of the beat down inside, one of them was dying. Valentine scaled the buildings fence and slipped along the rooftop to the skylight windows praying it wasn't Daryl on the receiving end. Peering down into the dirty glass she could see the men stomping on the other bowman. Daryl was across the room and unharmed, well not any more harmed than he'd already been. She watched him crumple in on himself, his shoulders sagging with either exhaustion or defeat, probably both. The man was always so in control, visibly anyways, that the change was unsettling. Valentine could see the cracks in his normal cool veneer. Whatever had happened to him during and after the prison was crippling him. She needed to get to Daryl sooner than later. It was too heart wrenching to keep her distance when he was so obviously in pain. 'I'm coming Dixon.' She thought with such conviction, it curled her hands into tights fists just aching to hurt someone.

Watching all night Valentine planned her next step. If she could somehow communicate with Daryl they could definitely take on the remaining Claimers. It would be dangerous though because in order to talk they'd need to be much closer than she was allowing. A smirk slid onto her face as a plan came to fruition. It was straight out of the Negan's handbook. The easiest way to infiltrate a survivor camp was to let the enemy find you. Play the prey and prepare for your moment of opportunity.

 


	25. Chapter 25

Valentine left a substantial trail behind her in the early morning hours. They were tracking whatever poor soul crossed them, so they would probably pick up the fresh tracks easily. Secretly she hoped Daryl remembered her tread after those days spent hunting together but wasn't counting on it.

It was in the late afternoon hours when she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. One of them had spotted her from afar. Hoping it was Daryl, Valentine got herself ready to take on the pack of feral men. She hadn't prepared for them to somehow circle in on her though and didn't realize it until it was too late.

"Claimed!" One man shouted as he saw her in the center of their loosely formed circle. Valentine's eyes narrowed even further and she growled, "Try it and I'll shove that rifle up your skank ass."

The men chortled, Joe the loudest as he waved a dismissive had at the others to try and calm the situation down.

"Now boys. Let's be civil. This here filly looks more than capable of handlin' herself." Joe drawled circling around her like a wolf and its prey. "Ain't that right Sugar?"

Valentine sneered, her eyes flashing bright with excitement not fear. Bloodlust rolling through her. She could see Joe really looking at her, his eyes taking in her poised weapons, not a tremor through the sharp blades. Valentine wasn't afraid and even if she was, there was no way she would show it. The recognition of a fellow fan of violence shined behind Joe's lively pitch colored eyes. The man could obviously see the blood soaked hands Valentine wore. Danger radiated out of her in waves, the tension ratcheting up as the silence ticked on.

Joe smirked and announced, "I think we got a feral pussy on our hands boys." The men laughed but stopped as soon as their leader warned, "Bes' keep your hands to ya'selves or risk losin' em."

"Ain't right." The skeevy guy complained, "I claimed 'er."

"Well be my guest Tony but I think you're gonna lose this fucking fight."

Valentine grinned the maniacal smile she used while fighting, the curled lips and pointy teeth. It was disconcerting to most. Her eyes scanned over them just waiting for the men to make a move. When they stayed in place she let her eyes dart to Daryl for a moment before returning to Joe. The man was poised, his bow aimed to the ground but ready to go. His eyes were focused on the dirty bandana hanging around her neck. She knew he was probably pretty worried about what resided underneath it and rightfully so. The wound was throbbing from the exertion of using both arms, not to mention the stiff tension she had been maintaining while preparing for an attack. A cold sweat broke out down her spine and trickled along her temple.

Joe smiled wolfishly and asked, "So Sugar. Whatcha doin' out here all by your lonesome huh?"

"Who says I'm alone?"

The man grinned widely, hooking his thumbs in the dirty denim pockets of jeans, rasping, "Well Darlin' I don't take you as someone who gets along well with others. Am I right?"

Valentine slid on a cocky grin and she sneered, "Smarter than you look."

Joe barked out a laugh and he walked closer to her making her body tense but not shake. He let his calculating gaze roamed over her and he asked, "You a killer girl? Ya look like a killer."

"I do what I have to."

Giving her an appreciative nod he glanced over at the other men and he asked, "You wanna join my merry band of thieves, no strings attached of course. You'll just be one of the guys."

"Joe this is bullshit. We ain't takin' on some cooze if we ain't getting to fuck it."

"Shut the fuck up Dan." Joe barked without taking his eyes off Valentine.

"Not particularly." She deadpanned, her eyes scanning the others. Daryl's posture vibrating with tension yet his face was blank besides a scowl.

"Well that'll be a problem then. See ya join or ya pay the toll for passin' through our woods." Joe grinned, his hand stroking the scraggly grey hair on his chin.

"Your woods Huh?" She stated with narrowed eyes, "Funny thing about this new world, nobody owns shit anymore."

"Well that's where you're wrong Sugar." He informed her, "Now you can pay us… I'm sure Tony there can think of some entertaining ways or you can join us, pull your weight."

Valentine narrowed her eyes and acted as if she were thinking about the proposition. It was exactly what she wanted to happen, her way to get closer to Daryl. Together they could survive, apart they would die. Taking a long moment she rolled her shoulder lazily and ticked her chin in agreement.

"Excellent. Name's Joe." He rasped with a crooked grin, his hand outstretched before letting it fall as she ignored it.

"Good for you." she spoke dryly.

"Ain't too friendly a'right, a'right. Hands off boys, she's one of us. We got a couple rules, we don't lie. Lying is disrespectful. Lie and pay the price, got me?"

She nodded once, her eyes scanning over the other men including Daryl as she listened to the rest of their code.

"You claim it, it's yours."

"Yeah unless Joe decides t'break the fuckin' rules 'n take what ya claimed." Tony snarled earning him a scathing look from Joe.

"Keep talkin' Tony," Joe threatened his beady eyes drilling into the other man, then continued, "We're trackin a man, maybe a group. This man killed one of our own, left him to turn. He's gotta pay the price for that."

Valentine cocked an eyebrow waiting for him to explain despite knowing exactly where it was going. They wanted help murdering someone who was probably just defending themselves against animals.

"So do you got a problem with helping take care of the issue?"

She shrugged and muttered, "Only person I give a shit about is myself."

"Good. S'long as ya follow our code we'll get along just fine." Joe assured her, waving his hand inviting her to walk next to him.

"And as long as these inbred motherfuckers keep they're hands to themselves no one will be gutted taint to tongue."

Joe barked out a gruff laugh and drawled, "Darlin' you got a purdy mouth."

"Keep dreaming." She grumbled, following as they began to hike through the woods. Joe walked along side her but didn't speak for quite awhile. Eventually he chatted with the others and whistled random tunes while chewing on a blade of grass. The man like the sound of his own voice and seemed to enjoy speaking in riddles. Valentine kept catching glimpses of Daryl out of the corner of her eye. She ached to talk to him but knew it wasn't happening anytime soon, not with witnesses. They'd essentially lied already and Valentine knew that was punishable by death having seen the member they'd beat to death the night before.

"So sugar, what's your name?"

"Don't have one." She replied blandly, her eyes scanning their surroundings.

"Oh really? Well, where ya from?"

"All over."

"That right? Whaddya do before all this?"

"Lots of things."

"She kinda sounds like a cop. You a pig girl?" Tony asked with a taunting sneer. Valentine didn't reply only watched the woods, seeing a handful of walkers coming their way. Feeling the need to let them experience what they had coming if they kept fucking with her, she marched directly at the corpses. Moving with ease despite her aching injury Valentine killed two walkers before kicking the third in the chest. The rotting man fell to the ground and she slammed both her blades into the center of its face. Blood splatter in large arcs, some splashing Tony and Harley across the face. She sneered at Tony, "Keep on fuckin' with me,  _Tony_."

* * *

Daryl was absolute stunned stupid when they came upon Valentine at the end of the tracks they had been following all morning. He thought he was hallucinating until Joe started talking to her. His eyes were glued onto the red bandana covering her injuries.

His red bandana.

It was like a giant symbol of how he failed her, the bright red wrapping her skin causing flashbacks of her arched bloody neck and raining gunfire.

'Pussy. Ya just fuckin' left her there t'save herself. Goddamn useless asshole.' He mentally beat the fuck out of himself. 'Don't fuckin' deserve her help.'

Because that's what she was doing. Daryl knew Valentine was once again saving his ass.

Merle taunted him from the grave. 'Why dontcha take those heels off and save your own ass for once Darylina?'

Daryl wasn't surprised when Joe invited Valentine to join them, the man was more intelligent than he looked. Joe could see the strength in her, the predator, the survivor. Joe would be an idiot to not take advantage of a weapon like her.

They were following the railroad tracks and the men were chitchatting away about the man they were essentially hunting. "So this yellow bellied fuck cuts and runs like the pussy bitch he is." Harley ranted from the back of the group. The man was getting on his nerves and it was taking everything in Daryl to not punch the fucker in the face. He could see Valentine's lip curled in distaste and stiffness in her shoulders as the man's voice grated on and on.

The sound of clumsy footfalls had Daryl turning to aim at a rotting corpse stumbling his way. Valentine was slicing them down before the others even realized they were there. Daryl shot one before nailing another in the head with his hunting knife.

He noticed the other men watching Valentine flick blood off her blade while continuing on as if she hadn't just killed a bunch of lumbering dead men.

"Bitch knows how to kill shit, that's for sure. Bet she's a fuckin' hellcat in the sack." Dan and Harley leered making Daryl wring the handle of his bow. It would be so easy to just start letting bolts fly but he couldn't risk Valentine like that. She could hold her own obviously but they needed to coordinate their efforts. Daryl decided he would try to get a word with her that evening and maybe they could take care of the men and start searching for their people.

The group followed the train tracks for a while until the sun was getting low and Joe decided they would make camp for the evening. A few of them headed into the woods to look for a good area to settle in and came back with word of a makeshift camping spot. As Daryl stepped into the clearing he noticed the alarm wires and small fire pit in the center. It reminded him of the camps Beth and he had set up while travelling together. The thought made his chest constrict painfully and his jaw tightened. He failed the poor girl and wasn't sure how he would be able to explain it to her father and sister if he ever saw them again.

"What's the sour puss for?" Joe quipped with a dry chuckle, "Look like ya stepped in dog shit while wearin' your favorite boots."

Valentine was eyeing him from across the tiny clearing, her back against a tree trunk. She kept a blade out at all times and her critical gaze on the others. Daryl could tell she wouldn't be taking her guard down at any moment and he was thankful she was so damn aware of the dangerous situation.

"Ain't nothin'." He grunted crouching to get a fire started up. He had caught several squirrels along the way and planned on cooking them quickly. Joe sat nearby and began pulling out a small bag of what looked like trail mix.

"Hey sugar ya want some?" he drawled to Valentine as she stood still, her eyes narrowed.

"No." she replied pulling out her water bottle and sipping. Daryl wanted to give her some of his food but knew it would look suspicious if she told Joe no while saying yes to him.

"What's with the neck?" Harley asked suddenly, making Daryl peer through his hair at the woman squatted next to the tree. She furrowed her brow and muttered, "Nothin'."

"I see gauze under that bandana. Ya bit?" he asked standing up and approaching her slowly. Joe cocked an eyebrow and repeated the question, "You bit Sugar?"

"Do you think I would allow myself to sit around if I was bit?" she asked with a indignant curled lip.

"Maybe you don't have the balls to off yourself." Harley quipped with grin.

"I have more than enough balls." She growled standing up and pulled out her other blade, "Wanna find out?"

"Harley back off. We're just protecting ourselves Sugar." Joe explained a hand up as if pacifying the woman.

Valentine snorted and threatened, "Well I'm no threat unless you fuck with me, so back the fuck off."

"Joe if she's bit and turns while were sleepin' I am gonna be pissed."

"You'll be more than pissed idiot, you'll be fuckin' dead." Tony joked while tossing log into the fire.

"Ain't dyin' like some bitch by a bite wound." Harley growled, his eyes darting to Valentine's tense frame.

"Shut up." Joe barked and ticked his chin to Valentine, "Show us."

"No."

"Show us or we'll make you. Got more than enough hands to hold ya down."

Valentine sneered her lips and growled low and threatening, "You wanna risk losing a few of your guys before you finally subdue me, be my guest but believe me, I will kill a few of you before you touch me. You wanna risk that Joe?"

"No. So show us."

"It's nothing for you to worry about."

Joe stared at her for a long moment and drawled, "We'll keep an eye on you. You start to look feverish and we're putting you down, that clear Sugar?"

"Crystal."

"Now how 'bout we celebrate our new members huh? Dan you still got some of that whiskey?"

"Yeah." He replied pulling out a flask of liquor and handing to Joe. Valentine slid one blade away but kept her other out. Daryl watched the men taking a few gulps from the bottle before it was handed to him. Looking at it closely he sipped it being careful to not take too much. He couldn't refuse it but he wanted to keep his head straight. Valentine surprised him by taking a couple gulps without a wince at the burn. Daryl figured she must be in a lot of pain from her injury to risk drinking around the group of men. It made him grind his teeth in anger at his inability to take care of her properly. He was worried about just how bad her neck wound was and if she had found any medicine to help.

Valentine moved to the perimeter suddenly making Joe call out, "Where ya goin'?"

"Gotta piss." She muttered stepping through the wires and noisemakers. Daryl swallowed a piece of meat and watched her walk into the woods.

"We actually gonna let her travel with us Joe?" Tony asked quietly while chewing on jerky. Joe stroked his beard and spoke low, "Well, if she doesn't like our proclivities we deal with it. For now she's an asset."

* * *

Valentine finished using the bathroom and headed back to the group. She was itching to take care of them and leave with Daryl. The longer they traveled together the more likely one of them would step over the line. She was feeling ok at the moment but her neck was definitely making her weaker. The large swath of skin missing had begun to scab, or at least that was what it felt like. The sharp pulling was making her hold back cringes of pain. The little bit of whiskey she had helped take the edge off but it wasn't near enough to make her comfortable. She needed to clean and tend to it but it wasn't something she wanted the others to see. It was a weakness she couldn't expose. It was bad enough they knew she was injured to begin with.

Valentine crouched near a tree and watched the others bed down for the night. Joe seemed to be taking first watch but she wasn't about to close her eyes around them. Even with Daryl there to watch her back she wasn't going to risk it.

"M'takin' watch. Go ahead a sleep Sugar." The older man informed from his perch on a fallen log.

"No thanks." She muttered taking her bag off her shoulders. Her eyes slid to Daryl's and she saw him looking at her through his hair. He was sitting cross-legged, his bow resting in his lap as if waiting to draw on someone. If they could get everyone else sleeping while they took watch the pair might be able to control the situation. Joe didn't seem to be considering sleep anytime soon though so Valentine stayed perched by the tree trunk.

She watched the other four men laying on bedrolls, a couple snoring already. Looking at Daryl again she watched him fiddle with the bow, his hands adjusting the tension. His eyes would periodically dart to her but otherwise he focused on his task.

Night had fallen and left them in mostly dark except for the residual glowing coals still burning and the moonlight above. Valentine pursed her lips and watched as Joe drank more whiskey, his head bobbing slightly. Her eyes went to Daryl and he dipped his chin in acknowledgment, the man seeing a possible opportunity if Joe fell asleep.

Valentine was pretty sure she could take out the two nearest to her before the others awakened. She could slit Harley's throat, which was exposed as he snored away and if she moved fast enough Dan would get a blade in the face. That left Joe, Tony and Billy for Daryl. She tried to work out who he would shoot first and decided Joe would be the best first kill for Daryl and then they could deal with the last two together.

A few hours passed and the opportunity finally presented itself. Joe had been relieved by Tony who sneered at her while taking a seat on top of the fallen tree. He had her in his line of sight but not Daryl. She made eye contact with Daryl and watched him tap his fingers on his bow, the long digits silently showing her what his next move was going to be. Valentine watched as Daryl's fingers slowly folded around the handle of his bow to count down wordlessly.

In a flurry of movement Tony was shot through the head with a bolt as Valentine sliced her hunting knife across Harley's neck, killing him instantly. The next to fall was Dan who Valentine pounced on. The sound of a struggle and the grunting from flesh pounding fists hitting skin filled her ears while she fought the man below her. He grabbed her neck making her scream out in pain. The wound tore open once again, the warm blood rolled down her chest. Valentine shoved her knee into the man's groin while jabbing her knife into his right eye socket. As she yanked it out she spun around to see Joe punching Daryl while Billy held him in a headlock. Running at Joe with her longer machete out Valentine brought the blade up to sink it into his neck but the man turned. Joe brought an arm up to block the machete from hitting his face only to have his arm severed. Valentine felt the blade split flesh and crack bone while the man screamed in terror. Blood gushed from the wound as he stumbled away, the air thick with the taste of copper.

Valentine glanced at Daryl to see him overpowering his captor, his fist landing on the downed man's face.

She turned back to Joe and sneered at him, "I've been following you for a week now Joe." The man was clutching his shorn forearm, his face crumpled in pain. He was pale as the blood left his body, his chest and stomach covered in crimson.

"I saw what you did to the girl two towns ago."

Joe shook his head trying to deny the accusations. "No. M'sorry. Please, just.. I'll go. I'll leave. Please."

Valentine narrowed her eyes and she growled, "She begged too Joe." The angry woman pulled her blade back and sank the edge into the man neck almost severing his head. Blood shot out across the clearing into the fire pit, the low burning coals sizzled, the liquid putting out the last remaining light.

Daryl had taken the man's buck knife, ending him with a wound in the chest. After all was said and done the only sound was the panting breathes of the surviving couple. Swallowing thickly Valentine brought a hand up to her neck, the bandana was wet and clinging to her skin.

"Ya a'right?" Daryl's hoarse voice had Valentine flinching in surprise.

"Yeah. You?" She choked out while putting her blade away.

Daryl grunted and moved towards her, his face mostly shadowed except for the glow from the limited moonlight shining through the thick canopy of tree tops. Valentine's breathing became shallow as she watched him approach, her lip bitten red between her teeth. His wide frame carried a strength and masculinity she couldn't help but be attracted too. Her body was thrumming with adrenaline from both the fight but also the predatory look in his darkened eyes.

Daryl's hand tentatively reached out towards her as if wanting to make sure she was not an illusion. His hand slowly encircled her wrist, rough fingertips causing a shiver to run up her spine. Daryl gave her a gentle tug, pulling her into his broad frame. Valentine wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his chest to inhale his scent. It was earthy and wild, pure Daryl. They stood there holding each other, both reveling in the warmth of each other. Her hands were under his leather vest, curled into the fabric of his shirt.

"Thought you were gone." She murmured quietly, her voice surprisingly rough. Her eyes burned painfully as she realized just how fucking scared she'd been of losing Daryl. Blinking through the tears she tried to swallow down the foreign panic.

"I'm here. Not going anywhere." Daryl replied softly, his thick arms tightening even more. She felt his warm breath against her temple, his chapped lips brushing her skin while he spoke.

"Are you ok? Let me see your face." She mumbled into his dirty flannel, pulling back to look up at him. She traced her eyes over the purple bruise blooming around his eye and the split lip and eyebrow. Her hand cupped his jaw, her thumb brushing across his tender cheek. Finally making eye contact she saw the man looking at her with such intensity all the hair on her body stood on end. Daryl's piercing eyes were filled with so many emotions Valentine couldn't pin down one but the most predominant was longing. Dropping her hand to his chest, Valentine felt his heart thundering beneath her palm. It seemed he was having the same overwhelming reaction as her.

Without a word his hands raised to cup her face. Even with bloodied knuckles and calloused thumbs the man's touch was more gentle than Valentine ever expected. She felt her eyes prickle at the sight of his softening expression, his head dipping to meet her parted lips. A gasp hitched out of her chest, the beat of her heart became rapid. Daryl's thumbs brushed sweetly over her cheeks as he kissed and sucked her lips between his. The hot wet moan that crawled out of her was triggered by the slid of his tongue, twirling into her wanton mouth.

Everything was forgotten, their surroundings, their injuries. All that was left was them. Only them.

Nerve endings were popping and sparking across her lithe frame, her arms winding around his neck. Her hands buried into his hair, curling around the dirty locks to pull his mouth harder against hers. Daryl growled deeply as she tugged his hair again.

"Fuuuuck, sweetheart." He moaned quietly, one hand moving to her waist, his fingers gripping her tightly. Valentine groaned at the feeling of his hand raking through her hair, fisting it. Panting heavily through open mouthed passionate kisses Valentine gasped, "Jesus."

Daryl backed Valentine up against a tree, the bark digging in between her shoulder blades. She could barely feel it though because Daryl's mouth was consuming her, his hands gripping her desperately. A deep moan vibrated through her chest as he nipped and sucked her bottom lip into his hot mouth. The world fell away as everything they'd been feeling and hadn't said spilled out in the open. Their mouths broke apart as they gasped out frantic breaths.

Slowly the kisses became tender and chaste, both of them pulling back from the edge of out of control lust. They needed to be more aware but the moment was a long time coming. They had needed to reconnect and finally admit the feelings they had for each other.

Valentine panted slightly, her tongue licking the taste of the intoxicating man from her pink lips. Daryl rested his forehead against her, their eyes watching each other intently.

"Y a'right. Not too much?" He rasped slightly out of breath.

"I'm good Daryl.. Really good now." She answered, a blush reddening her face.

Daryl gave her a tiny grin and he murmured, "Been wantin' t'do that for months."

Smirking she pulled him into another hug whispering, "Thank you for waiting but whenever you wanna do it again, feel free."

Daryl laughed quietly into her hair and rasped, "Good t'know."

They stood here for a moment until Valentine registered the deep throbbing emanating from her neck.

"Fuck." She groaned pulling back to hold the area gently. "I gotta get this cleaned and bandaged again."

"How bad?"

"Pretty fucking bad. I found a half cycle of antibiotics but I'm gonna need a lot more. Some pain meds would be fucking fantastic also."

Daryl grunted and pulled out his knife, putting down the dead men. He then collected their supplies before ticking his head to the woods. "C'mon. There's houses a mile that way."

Valentine pulled on her bag with a grimace and followed the man through the thick trees. She may have been grievously injured, homeless and without supplies but she had Daryl. It was more than enough to make her smile to herself. Well that and the kissing because the more she thought about that, the larger her smirk got. It took awhile to get to but goddamn was that kiss worth the wait.

Valentine followed Daryl towards the low lying rancher. The rotting porch was partially collapsing, a fallen tree crushing it. Moving quickly they cleared the perimeter, circling the property and checking exits. Daryl had them enter through the rear, knocking on the sliding glass door. When nothing arrived he popped the lock and shoved it open. Valentine slide inside after him, their bodies moving along the wall and into the kitchen. He moved them through the whole house finding it clear of threats. They barricaded the doors and closed the curtains.

"Ya ok?" He asked, his concerned eyes focusing on the slightly exposed cotton gauze covering her collarbone and part of her neck. "Lemme clean it."

"No. I'll do it." She spoke quickly, her body constricting anxiously. For some reason exposing the gruesome looking injury was the last thing she wanted to do. She figured as soon as he saw the seriousness of her wound Daryl would be far from attracted to her.

Daryl furrowed his brow and he asked, "Why not? We gotta keep it clean. It's bleedin'. Did it need stitches?"

Valentine cringed at the memories of sewing up her neck and the grotesque skinless patch of skin.

"It's really fucking gross Daryl. There's no way you'll wanna be near me after seeing it. I'll do it."

His eyes grew tense and he reached forward towards her.

"No. Daryl don't."

"Ain't gonna be grossed out and now that I'm thinking' about it, I won't be able t'relax."

Growling Valentine pulled off her bag and got out her first aid supplies.

Daryl got a flashlight and joined her in the bathroom. Taking a deep breath she mumbled, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Peeling it back carefully she removed the bandana and large padded cotton, the tape sticking and pulling at the inflamed skin. Valentine hissed as the congealed blood tugged at the injury, the stitches stinging in pain.

"Jesus." Daryl gasped out, his hands touching her shoulders gently as she dropped the dirty gauze in the sink. Valentine turned to look in the mirror, her eyes looking for any sign of infection. The missing skin had been replaced with thick stabbing, the wound weeping again from the removal of the bandage and Dan's brutal grasp.

"Oh Sweetheart." He rasped thickly, his large hands holding her cheek gently as he traced his sorrow filled gaze over the open wound. Valentine couldn't make eye contact, muttering "I told you."

Daryl got the first aid supplies prepared, his hands shaking nervously. Valentine chewed her cheek to keep from getting upset.

"Doesn't look infected, just really pissed off." He remarked his hands gently cleaning around the wound and staunching the new bleeding. After a few tense minutes of Daryl tending to her neck finally she was rebandaged.

"Ya hurtin'.

"Yeah. Kinda feels like someone tried to chop my head off." She dead panned, but saw Daryl wasn't in a joking mood.

"M' So fuckin' sorry Val. Jesus." He left the bathroom and began pacing the bedroom, his hand yanking through his hair angrily.

"It wasn't your fault Daryl." She spoke firmly, "You didn't do this and there was no fucking way you would've survived coming for me."

"Didn' even try. I shoulda gone down there. I shoulda fucking shot him."

"Who did?" She asked realizing she hadn't even questioned what happened.

"Carl. He didn't fucking listen to me. Told him not to shoot, prolly caused it to be so damn bad. I should fuckin done it."

"He saved my life Daryl." She told him walking up to his tense frame, her hand resting on his chest, "He was about to kill me, his hand tightened and he started to raise the blade. He would've killed me if Carl hadn't shot him."

Pulling her into his chest Valentine sighed at the feeling of his warm chest against hers, his thick arms coiling around her body. Daryl whispered against her temple, "Ya think they're alive?"

"I know they are." She replied, her eyes burning despite the firmness of her voice. "I know it. We just gotta look."

* * *


	26. Chapter 26

The pair settled down in the master bedroom of the rancher. It had three exit options; through the house, a window leading to the front of the house or a patio door which led to the backyard. It also had a stone framed fireplace for both cooking and heating. Once Valentine was adequately cleaned, re-stitched and bandaged she got a couple cans of soup heated for dinner.

They hadn't spoken since their discussion about looking for the others but the silence wasn't tense. Her gaze was periodically hooked by the welcoming sight of Daryl's broad shoulders flexing as he restrung his bow with dead men's stolen gear. She would bite her lip while watching his rough hands pulling and twisting the intricate parts with an awe worthy ease. It surprisingly had Valentine thinking of things she hadn't thought about in a very long time. Vivid images of those very same tanned hands grabbing her like before only with far less clothing involved. Curled fingers biting into flesh and limbs tangling together, slick with sweat. The idea of feeling his warm skin against hers had Valentine shuddering. She blinked her eyes a few times as the erotic images faded but the heat did not. Squeezing her thighs together to quell the ache she let out a stuttered breath.

Daryl chose that moment to look up, of course and caught her with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

"Ya a'right?" He asked with a furrowed brow. "Look feverish."

Valentine blushed in embarrassment at the statement but then realized she was feeling sick. Daryl's large palm was touching her cheek and forehead. His eyes were strained as the worry began to flood him.

"Fuck. You're burnin' up."

"Hardly." She remarked despite feeling rather troubled herself. "Just tired."

Daryl stood instantly and got a bed situated for her, the blankets pulled back and pillow fluffed. Valentine smiled widely and teased, "Turn down service, nice."

Daryl glared but his lips twitched and rasped, "Fuckin' lay down smartass."

As she laid down with a snort she said, "that attitude will reflect in your tip."

The man couldn't hold back the bark of laughter as he kneeled next to the bed his face at her eye level. "Didn' know ya had a sense a'humor."

She rolled her eyes and murmured tiredly, "m'gettin soft in my old age." Daryl spoke but her head was whooshing and the lead disguised as her eyelids fell closed instantly. She felt his lips brush her forehead, the chapped skin feeling for fever. His fingers brushed hair out of her eyes and then she was asleep.

* * *

Daryl knelt by the bed watching her sleep for a long time. He wasn't even sure how much time had passed but his legs had long gone numb and his back was aching. Struggling to his feet with a groan, Daryl gently climbed in bed next to her. Leaning against the headboard he scrubbed his face roughly feeling overwhelmed with the last couple weeks. Closing his eyes Daryl took in a slow cleansing breath before sliding his gaze back to her again. Part of him was terrified he'd look away and Valentine would disappear. There were times where he was positive he was dreaming. When she started teasing him, Daryl could have sworn it was a wish filled dream. That he'd wake up and still be laying in the road looking for Beth and wishing for death.

As gently as he could Daryl brushed his thumb along her cheek while letting his calculating eyes really look at the slumbering woman. She was so relaxed that others might not even recognize her. Most of the time Valentine was feral looking, wild and untamed.

'Sexy as fuck.' Daryl thought with a smirk, his dick twitching as he pictured what she looked like pressed in between him and a tree. The feel of her hot wet tongue sliding into his mouth, he had never been so fucking turned on. The woman was intoxicating and Daryl had a distinct feeling he wasn't going to ever get tired of that sweet as sin mouth. All he could do was hope for her to never tire of him.

Valentine was lying very close to Daryl's thigh. Close enough to feel the warmth radiating off her body and hear the rise and fall of her chest under the blanket. He found himself calming immediately as he timed his breathing with hers and let his eyes fall shut. It was the first time since the prison that he felt at home. Not saying Beth wasn't family or a reminder of home but not like Valentine. The woman sleeping next to him didn't just remind him of home, she was quickly becoming home. His touchstone.

Peeling his incredibly tired eyes open Daryl tried to decide if he could stay watch for another moment. It felt as if he hadn't slept in weeks. Rising he peered out the partially boarded up window and saw darkened but clear streets. The patio door was covered with a piece of plywood but it allowed him to see through a gap between boards. The backyard was fully fenced and secure with no threats in sight. Deciding he needed to rest or be worthless in the morning he double checked the locked bedroom door and crawled back in bed with Valentine. He lay down facing her, his hand gently on top of hers, curling around scarred knuckles.

'Fuck she beautiful.' He thought while chewing his lip, his thumb brushing across her skin.

Daryl had no idea what came with being in a relationship with someone having only really experienced a few drunken hookups. However if it included lying in bed with Valentine he was more than willing to try it out.

* * *

She was lying in the softest bed of all time, the crisp white sheets cool against her skin. Valentine blinked her eyes slowly and realized Daryl lay next to her, a smirk sculpting his lips. Rolling her eyes she murmured, "Whaddya looking at?"

"Most gorgeous girl in Georgia." He drawled, the man's gravelly voice made his words all the more panty dampening.

"Shuddup." She mumbled with blushing cheeks. Rubbing her eyes she asked, "what's the plan today?"

"Jus' this." He rasped, scooting closer to her causing Valentine's breath hitch. Daryl's hand slid up her hip, his fingers flexing into the curves. Biting her lip she curled her hand into the warm flannel and pulled him closer. A deep growl reverberated through him as their mouths met hungrily. Valentine gripped Daryl's biceps while his large hands framed her face, his lips teasing and teeth nipping. She moaned desperately as he moved his mouth down her neck and behind her ear. Daryl rolled her onto her back and braced his wide frame over her. Resting on one elbow his other hand slid down her ribs and hip to the hollow behind her knee. With a rough yank her leg was wrapped over his hip as he ground between her spread thighs. His hand returned to her side, the warm palm sliding under her shirt to her ribs. She felt rough fingertips grazing her stomach and breast, goosebumps following his path instantly.

Valentine groaned, her hips rising to meet him while their mouths devoured each other.

"Fuck Dare." She moaned against his neck, her mouth open and panting. His hips rolled hard and quick, his hands moving to her wrists, pressing them into the bed. Valentine arched off the mattress, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist. She was thrumming with want and needed more.

"Let go. Wanna touch you." she gasped while pulling at her hands but Daryl stayed above her, his face buried in her neck. Valentine whined in frustration, her hips rising and falling with his. She backed her head away trying to at least kiss the man currently sucking his way down her neck, a trail of heat following his mouth.

'Wait.' She thought with a strange sense of dread trickled down her spine.

"Daryl? What?" She panted feeling his tongue lapping up the right side of her neck, the side that should be wrapped in bandages. Daryl growled as she tried to pull away his teeth nipping her sharply.

"Daryl, stop." She exclaimed her hands yanking at his too tight grasp. The man sat up suddenly his hands still pinning her to the bed and a malicious grin curling his lips. Valentine blanched at the sight of Negan grinning down at her like the cat that caught the canary.

"N-Negan." She gasped suddenly, her body struggling back and forth trying to get away. His hands tightened and he chuckled deeply, "Miss me Love?"

"No…. No." She snarled kicking her legs and yanking her wrists away. Valentine pushed against his chest so hard he rolled off her. She stumbled off the bed, pain shooting through her knees as she landed awkwardly to the ground. Her eyes blinking several times as she realized she had been dreaming. Gasping, her eyes darted around the dingy room, the bed was not made with crisp white sheets and the man looking at her with wide eyes was definitely not Negan.

Her chest was heaving as adrenaline surged through veins like a freight train. Daryl climbed out of bed and tried to approach her rasping, "Ya a'right. It's me, I got ya."

Valentine held up a hand to halt his progress while climbing shakily to her feet. "I need a minute." She gasped, her eyes clenched so tightly, bright light flickered behind her eyelids. Valentine could hear Daryl's heavy breathing, his body reacting to her anxiety. Taking in a few slow even breaths she peered through her fallen curls at the most patient man she'd ever know. She had no idea how he could stand how fucked up she was.

"Ya a'right.?"

"Yeah..." She nodded while swallowing thickly, her body still revolting from the dream. "Yeah."

"C'mon. Get back in bed. Ya need t'rest."

Nodding again she climbed back in bed, Daryl following her carefully. He stayed further away as if knowing what she'd been dreaming about.

"Sure you're ok?" He asked cautiously adding, "is it cuz a' what we did earlier?"

Valentine shook her head even though it was most likely the trigger and explained, "Just a nightmare. M'sorry it was just... had to get my head on straight. I'm ok now."

The couple lay there quietly, the sound of a storm roaring outside catching their ears.

"Good thing we found this place." She murmured, adding, "Hope everybody's got a place tonight too."

Daryl grunted in response, his lip pulled between his teeth in thought. She watched as he picked at a hole in the blanket, pulling the thread lazily. He was deep in thought and jumped when she laid her hand over his, squeezing it gently.

"We'll find 'em Daryl."

He peered over at her out of the corner of his eye and nodded once. The man was obviously still thinking about her reaction when waking. His eyes looking at her hand warily as if afraid to move.

"I'm ok." She tried assure him but wanted to be truthful also, "I may have problems if.. when…" Valentine stammered before trailing off and then spoke firmly, "it's not about you… If I have problems getting close… just know it's not you and that I'll try to be normal."

"Shuddup." He grumbled rolling onto his side, his nose inches from hers. "Don't gotta try t'be normal. Don't want normal, want you." He smirked slowly.

Rolling her eyes at his teasing and whispered, "Daryl."

"I know." He sighed before adding, "I ain't in any hurry. We go whatever speed works for both of us. No reason to force shit."

Valentine smiled and nodded, leaning forward to kiss his knuckles, her lips resting against the rough skin. "Thanks." She murmured, her eyes tracing over the sharp angles of his face, his eyes were intense and calculating but not intimidating. The navy blue darkening as her mouth opened slightly to let her tongue taste the skin across his hand. A sharp gasp hitched his chest, his own tongue wetting his bottom lip.

"Sweets." He groaned as she sucked on his knuckle before biting down gently. Valentine smiled around the joint firmly between her teeth as he scooted closer, wrapping his arm around her waist. Daryl pulled her closer, resting his lips against her forehead and murmured, "Sleep. No teasing."

Valentine chuckled, nuzzling her forehead into his chest. "Fine." she mumbled, "Maybe tomorrow."

Daryl laughed, his chest vibrating against her forehead, "A'right. Tomorrah."

* * *

They spent the day scavenging for medical supplies. Valentine needed more antibiotics for her injuries. She was running a fever and the aching from her neck was becoming more painful by the hour. Daryl did his best to keep it clean and bandaged but medicine was what she really needed. They searched the entire neighborhood finding only children's Motrin and a few gauze pads. Valentine took triple the dose of liquid medicine to try and take the edge off her fever and pain but it was a hopeless endeavor.

"How bad?" Daryl asked as she leaned against a tree for a short break, her hand resting against her neck to quell the throb. Scrubbing her face she muttered, "bad enough."

Grunting he drawled, "Le's get to the next town. Maybe it won't be cleaned out yet."

Nodding Valentine climbed to her feet and pretended to not be dizzy. She blinked through the black spots and began following the man north towards the next possible town. They wove through thick woods and climbed over a few steep hills before reaching the tiny town in a valley. The roads were paved but narrow, winding through the ramshackle neighborhoods. The trees shadowed the area with the thick foliage and the cicadas were buzzing loud enough to make Valentine forget the ringing in her ears. Daryl took out a few walkers as the entered the tiny strip of businesses and one gas station.

"There's a vet office up there." Valentine spoke quietly, her hand pointing out the sign visible up the road. Daryl grunted and had them move along the edge of the woods, circling the short brick building. The back door was open, hanging on one hinge taking away any optimism them might have had for finding what they needed.

Daryl peered through the dark opening, knocking on the bent metal to call any threats outdoors. A shuffling came their way, a ravaged corpse stumbling out of the darkness.

A bolt penetrated its head instantly, the body falling to the floor in a messy heap. The death brought silence, nothing else following its lead outside. The pair entered the building slowly, Daryl yanking the used bolt out to knock it in place again.

He led them down a hallway, crossbow pressed firmly into his shoulder and they both began clearing each tiny appointment room. Once in the main treatment area they found overturned furniture and vacant cabinets that once contained drugs and supplies.

"Shit." Daryl cursed under his breath, stomping through the room and searching anywhere and everywhere. Valentine chewed her lip watching him tear open doors and yank drawers out of desks, pouring contents onto the floor. Taking a few steps into the room she opened her mouth to tell him to calm down, her foot kicking a orange bottle of pills. The plastic container rolled away, the rattling of pills catching Daryl's attention.

"What's that?" He asked moving towards the sound. Valentine shrugged and muttered, "d'know."

Picking up the fallen bottle Daryl brought his flashlight to the object and smirked, "Got ya some pain meds at least."

Valentine sighed in relief and instantly put her hand out, "Gimme."

Daryl must have realized she had been lying about her pain level by her frantic grasping motion because he tore the bottle open instantly.

Valentine took the two pills offered and swallowed them dryly before sipping some of their limited water.

"Shoulda told me you were hurtin' that bad."

"Why? There was nothing else you could've done." She remarked sitting down on an examine table while Daryl kept searching. "It would've just stressed you out more."

"Still." He grumbled watching her grimace when removing her backpack. Valentine drank a few more sips of water before handing it over to Daryl. Pulling out her snack bag she took a handful of mixed nuts before holding it out to the concerned man. She cocked an eyebrow when he only stared at her outstretched hand. Shaking the bag she drawled, "c'mon ya gotta eat too."

"Fine." He mumbled taking a handful of food before handing it back. Throwing the trail mix into his mouth he chewed noisily. Valentine ate one piece at a time, chewing thoroughly before swallowing. She needed to focus on a task because her head was getting more and more clouded as the day went on. The fever was making her woozy and now that she took pain medicine Valentine wasn't sure how much further she could travel.

"Ya tired?"

Nodding she muttered, "Yeah. Wanna stay here?"

"Nah. Doors busted. We'll find someplace close. Ya look dead on your feet."

"Don't we all?" She quipped with a smirk, hopping off the table with a thump.

"Shuddup." He grunted over a laugh, leading them out the small building.

* * *

Sitting closely under the tiny alcove of rock they watched the rain come down in sheets. Valentine was wrapped up in their one thin blanket, shivers running through her frame and teeth chattering. Every home they entered had doors busted in or were surrounded by dead. With Valentine in a weakened state they couldn't risk being overwhelmed with biters. Eventually they settled for a shallow cave for the evening as a storm rolled through the valley.

"C'mere." Daryl grunted, pulling her under his arm to try and warm her up. "Fuck Val. You're shakin'"

Nodding she stammered, "J-just need t-to dry out."

"We need to find drugs. You're neck's infected."

Valentine nodded and laid her head heavily against Daryl shoulder, shudders running up her spine. Her eyes fell shut and she tried to focus on not shaking like a leaf. Daryl's arms encircled her, his hands rubbing vigorously up and down her back.

"We need to go towards the city." Daryl drawled, "better chance t'find the drugs ya need."

"More chances of running into people and walkers though."

"Gonna have t'risk it." He respond, his arms squeezing her closer, "Gotta get ya better."

Valentine nodded against his neck, pressing her hot forehead into his cool skin she muttered, "soon as the rain stops."

Daryl grunted in agreement his hands stroking her back before raking a hand through her hair. He cupped the back of her head and pressed his lips to the crown. Inhaling deeply Daryl smelled forest and rainwater in Valentine's hair, her normal woodsy smell heightened with the damp air.

The woman's condition was worrying him quite a bit. She had been fighting a fever for days now and the wound was now inflamed and angry. Daryl knew if they didn't find enough antibiotics for her, she'd end up with blood poisoning not to mention the gangrene that could set in. If that happened he would lose her and he wasn't letting that happen again. He hadn't been able to save her from the Governor's brutal hands, the least he could do was make sure she didn't die from her injury.

Valentine's head was lying heavily against him, her eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Daryl felt her shuddering breathes hitting his damp skin and shivered along with her. Kissing her temple he adjust her body to rest against his, her arms limply wrapped around his waist. The rain was still pelting the ground, the soil so saturated that the area was beginning to flood. They would be hiking through a swamp if it didn't stop soon. Daryl began planning out their trip and where they would look next. Their search for the others had been pretty much suspended until they got Valentine healthy so going towards the city made sense. He knew they're family wouldn't be heading that way but it was the best option for them at the time.

All he could do was hope they found a couple weeks worth of something strong and that Valentine would get better quickly.

* * *

It was dark when they stumbled upon the car on the side of the road. Valentine rested against the side of the sedan, coughing into her elbow to muffle the noise. Ever since the rainstorm let up a thickness had resided in Valentine's lungs. She tried to hack up whatever she could but it seemed as though she might have the beginnings of a lung infection. The fever raging through her weakening frame had made her clumsy and pretty much useless when it came to protecting herself. Daryl had been carrying not only their load of supplies but also the weight of protecting both of them from walkers. Looking over she watched as Daryl popped the trunk open and rooted around.

"Got a few things. Gonna see if we can get this runnin' maybe get us to the city faster." He voice rasped from inside the driver's seat. Valentine pulled the passenger door open and sat down heavily, coughing into her elbow again. She felt Daryl's eyes on her but ignored his concerned gaze. Daryl was more than a little stressed out about her condition and she couldn't blame him because it was probably the worst she'd ever felt before.

"Ya a'right?" His voice brought her head up, the woman realizing she was dozing while sitting upright. Nodding lazily she deadpanned, "Never better."

Snorting he turned the ignition, the car finally revving up making him grin widely at her. She smirked at his sudden elation and teased, "Who needs AAA when you got a redneck."

Chuckling he opened his mouth to speak when headlights illuminated the road ahead of them. Both ducked under the dashboard and watched as another car sped by, a dirt cloud trailing behind them. Valentine looked over as Daryl cursed, jumping out of the car. She watched over the backseat to see him breaking out the brake lights before hopping inside, peeling out after the car.

"What the fuck's goin' on?" She asked as he tore out down the road.

"They took Beth. That car." He growled his eyes focusing on the specks of red flashing a mile down the road.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. That's the car. The white cross on the window." He drawled, his thumb gnawed firmly between his teeth while his foot pressed the gas pedal to the floor. Valentine swallowed thickly and asked, "What happened?"

He shifted his eyes to hers but then returned them to the road. "We had a nice little set up at a funeral home. I fucked up." He shook his head and scoffed, "was a fucking idiot."

Not asking any further questions Valentine waited for him to continue in his own time. He cleared his throat nervously and began explaining how Beth and he had escaped the prison. That they'd eventually found the funeral home and had been overrun after he mistakenly opened the door to a large group of biters. Beth had been taken while he fought his way out.

"Ran all night and that was when those fuckers found me."

"I know." She rasped her head leaning against the seat, "I'd been following them. I saw them find you."

Daryl made a sound in the back of his throat acknowledging her statement before asking, "Why were ya followin' 'em?"

"Saw them kill a girl. Figured I might as well clean house while looking for everybody. Keep others from stumbling into them."

Daryl nodded his hands turning the wheel slowly as they finally entered a freeway heading into the city.

"Glad ya did."

Valentine smiled at him and nodded, "Me too."

* * *

The car slowed to a stop as they watched the other car pull up to an intersection. Daryl and Valentine crouched down, watching as the passenger door opened and a man in a police uniform climbed out.

"He a cop?" Daryl asked gruffly, his eyes darting to hers. Valentine shrugged and mumbled, "Maybe. Coulda just found the uniform."

They watched as he wandered off before reappearing, pulling debris out of the road. Valentine jumped as a walker slammed against the passenger window, it's mouth trying to bit through the glass. She looked at the other car and saw the man in black look towards them, his hand resting on his gun. He paused for a long tense moment before climbing back into the car. It sat there silently, the brake lights illuminating the street before turning down the side road.

"We gotta get out of here." She muttered quietly, pulling her blade out. Opening the door a crack she plunged the blade into the female walker, the body falling to the ground. Closing it with a quiet click she listened as Daryl turned the key, the car struggled to turn over. Nothing happened which made Daryl slam a fist into the plastic dashboard.

"Fuck. Tanks tapped out." He grunted as he watched the car drive away. "Gonna have to go on foot. They must be holed up in the city somewhere."

The couple climbed out of the car and began quietly sliding through the shadows of the darkened streets of Atlanta. They jogged along the side of a brick building searching for shelter for the evening. Valentine pointed out a nearby office building that still had windows in the street level.

"Over there." She whispered causing Daryl to head towards an alley leading to the back of the complex. The sound of dead wandering the streets had Valentine on edge. Her fever and injury forgotten for the time being she tried to focus on keeping them alive.

A biter reached out from a doorway making Valentine jump back, her machete slamming into it's temple. Grimacing at the pain shooting through her arm as she yanked the blade out she watched Daryl climb a set of stairs to an entryway.

He jammed his knife into the loose plywood covering the door and tried to pop it open as walkers flooded into the mouth of the alleyway.

"Hurry up." She whispered, "Got company."

"Almost." He grunted the wood finally giving way to the manhandling. "A'right come on."

The pair got the door closed and barricade quickly before heading deeper into the darkened building. They climbed a trash filled staircase into what looked like some kind of law office. Eventually they hunkered down in an office with a couch and huge marble topped desk. Daryl began searching the drawers, finding a pack of cigarettes and a candy bar. Valentine smirked and sat down heavily with a sigh.

"Ya still hurtin'?" Daryl asked wandering over to place a hand on her forehead. The heat radiating off her was more than disconcerting. "Damn. We gotta find somethin' tomorrah." He muttered, his eyes crinkled with tension, his jaw set tightly.

Nodding sleepily she laid her head back and mumbled, "Hopefully we can find that car."

"First its meds." He commented handing over a bottle of water and the candy bar. "Eat."

Sipping the water she countered, "We need to find that car. We'll look for meds as we look for it but we came all this way. She's more at risk than me."

"Ya know that ain't true Val. You're gettin' worse everyday." He sighed, sitting down next to her, combing the hair off her sweaty forehead, "We wait any longer and it'll be too late 'n I ain't…" he paused shaking his head whispering, "I ain't losin' ya again."

Smiling sadly she murmured, "I'll be fine. Just need to rest."

Shaking his head again he didn't comment on the lack of strength in her voice. They both knew it was getting down to the line for her. If she didn't get the meds, she might not be able to keep up with him any longer. It was already affecting her ability to take care of herself, not to mention helping keep Daryl safe. If she were honest she was more than a little worried but she wouldn't admit that to Daryl. He was worried enough and if he knew just how bad she was feeling he would lose it.

"Lay down." He ordered quietly, taking the last half of the candy bar she offered. "Get some sleep." Before lying down she leaned forward, kissing him softly on the lips. Daryl's hand rose, cupping her jaw as his tongue swept across her lip. Moaning at the sensation her lips parted allowing him inside her. He tasted like chocolate and cigarettes, intoxicating. Moving leisurely the couple's lips reluctantly pulled back. Panting shallowly Valentine murmured, "you're a good kisser Dixon."

A smirk curled his lips and he drawled, "Ain't too bad yourself Sweetheart."

Valentine lay down, her head resting in Daryl's lap, his hand raking through her dirty hair. Her eyes fell closed instantly, her head pounding with a headache making it painful to even lay still. His large hand smoothed her hair down, tracing lines through it and lightly scratching her scalp. Valentine hummed in contentment despite feeling so awful, the man's hands relaxing her further into the leather couch.

"Feel good?" he rasped from above making her peel her eyes open slightly. Nodding she whispered, "Thanks for taking care of me Daryl."

"S'nothin'." He dismissed, his hands causing shivers down her spine. "Cold?"

"Nah." she mumbled rolling over to burrow into his stomach, her forehead pressing into his shirt, her hands curling into the fabric. His hand stroked up and down her spine as she began to doze deeper. Soon everything faded away except for the feeling of warmth sliding up and down her back.


	27. Chapter 27

Daryl peered through the window, his critical eyes looking for any sign of life outside. He scanned every street and building for any movement. As he gazed over the bridge he noticed a vehicle precariously perched over the cement railing. The white van had obviously crashed there but what was most interesting was the giant white cross-painted across the window.

"Right there." He muttered pointing out the sight to Valentine. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and squinted to see what he was pointing out. "See it?" he asked gruffly, his finger pressed into the dirty window. The buildings were all blackened from bombs the military had dropped, windows shattered and pavement scorched. Valentine followed the tip of his finger to see what he was pointing out.

"Yeah. Looks the same." She responded before backing away from the window. "Got a plan?"

"Let's go. Check it out up close. It's our trail." He announced, scooping up his bow and their bags. "Ya good?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." she answered automatically, trying to hide the stumble in her steps and trembling in her hands. Valentine coughed roughly, her lungs aching and throat raw from the action. Daryl gave her a wary side-eye but didn't comment on the sound of a worsening congestion. They were both avoiding the graveness of her situation, the paleness of her skin and the sheen of sweat covering her forehead. Neither wanting to admit out loud the direness of her situation.

Daryl led them down a corridor, the carpet littered with trash and dead bodies. Stepping over broken furniture and the dead they got to a set of doors leading to a pedestrian bridge. Valentine shoved the bag through a set of chained doors, her body pushing through it. She squeezed in between, her neck screaming in pain as it scraped roughly across the doorframe.

"Fuck," she hissed crawling the rest of the way inside. The enclosed area had once been a makeshift shelter for a group of survivors. Someone had come through and killed them, most shot hastily without being put down. The biters awoke, their bodies writhing inside the sealed canvas tents and too tight sleeping bags.

Valentine climbed to her feet and grabbed Daryl's bow while he barely squeezed, the man sucking in his broad chest to fit.

"Goddamn woman how'd ya fit through this shit." He growled as he finally yanked his legs inside the enclosed breezeway.

"Pilates."

"Pila-wha'?" He rasped making Valentine snort loudly in amusement. Daryl rolled his eyes and elbowed her playfully, "get your smartass movin'. Losin daylight."

* * *

Daryl led them across the overpass, their destination in the middle of the bridge. The rusted up van had crashed at some point, its front punched through the cement railing. Valentine kept her blade out while he climbed into the vehicle searching for clues for where Beth might be held. She watched as a group of corpses roamed up the roadway following them. Their feet dragging loudly along the pavement. The smell of rot wafted down, the heat from the cement increasing the odor. Valentine nose wrinkled at the breeze.

"Gotta go soon Daryl. They're comin'."

The man grunted from inside and tossed around paperwork before looking over the gurney inside.

"Dare." Valentine hollered while slamming her blade into he nearest dead man. "We gotta go!"

Daryl shouted while flipping the gurney upside down, "What's GMH?"

Valentine kicked a corpse before stabbing it in the eye socket. "I don't know. Some hospital? Fuck, Dixon!"

Two more corpses got close as Valentine struggled to get her blade out of the last one she killed. Daryl hopped out stabbing the last two bodies close to her before grabbing her arm and shouting, "Le's go!" The pair began jogging down the street, zig zagging around the large crowd of walkers. Daryl stabbed his way through while tugging on Valentine's wrist, the woman's feet barely carrying her upright. As they got to the end of the bridge she stumbled, her hands catching her from crashing into the ground. Pain shot through her knees as the cement impacted her already aching body.

Daryl hauled her up, practically throwing her over his shoulder as they escaped from the herd. The sound of Daryl's boots hitting the concrete and Valentine's rattling breath filled the city street. They were barely ahead of the large group of biters following them and if they didn't get off the street to somewhere safe both would end up dinner.

"Gonna find a tall buildin'." Daryl panted, "Close t' the hospital."

Valentine nodded but tried to focus on not falling down again. Her neck was burning and throbbing with every footfall, her hands stinging from the gravel embedded in her palms. Spots were clouding her vision as her lungs struggled to keep up with the exertion. She felt Daryl's eyes on her but couldn't take her focus off the cement in front of her for fear of losing trqction again. It would only take one miss step to get her on the ground and Valentine wasn't too sure she'd be able to get up once down.

'Shit you're fallin' apart Val. Suck it up.' She thought wryly.

"There." Daryl grunted, taking them down a side street as they ran along the cement wall of a parking garage. He stabbed a corpse in the face before leading them up into the building. The pair climbed another staircase and entered yet another office building. Valentine found herself losing her focus, her feet feeling as if they were not touching the ground. She coughed roughly and shook her head as the edges of her vision went black.

"Come on." Daryl rasped, his voice sounding as if it were in a tunnel. She followed his shadow into an open doorway, his hand griping his bow and a plastic bag of food. He handed her a packet of chips and ordered, "Eat."

Sitting down on the windowsill, Valentine opened the chips and shoved them into her mouth without even looking at what it was. She chewed, swallowing down the shards of chips, coughing as they got stuck in her dry throat.

"Here, drink."

Valentine chugged the water, coughing and sputtering as her lungs demanded air. Daryl's hand rested on her back as she got herself under control. She was wheezing jaggedly after every cough.

"Goddamnit." Daryl growled under his breath, pacing a few feet away. Valentine opened her mouth to tell him she was fine but the distinctive sounds of moaning came from the hallway. The couple slid through an adjoining office to escape the sudden group of dead clambering after them.

* * *

Daryl was up ahead taking on three walkers while Valentine struggled with two. Swinging her blade around despite the screaming pain in her neck she buried her machete into the head of a corpse in a three piece suit. His neck was torn out and his lips missing. Blood sprayed across the abstract painting on the wall as her body slammed into it. The body fell against her pinning her as the second walker grabbed at her hair. Kicking her leg outward she tried to hold off the biter clawing at her but couldn't get any leverage with two body's pressing into her. The dead one finally fell leaving Valentine tangled in its legs as the other, rather lively corpse, clutched her hair and pulled her face towards its gaping mouth. It's jaws snapped open and shut, it's teeth grinding and scraping as it begged for food.

Growling loudly Valentine pushed only to be pulled with the falling body, she yelped as she crashed with it. Daryl was shouting from her right but she could only focus on avoiding the monster's teeth and nails. It writhed on top of her, snapping and clicking its jaws at her face. Valentine braced her forearm against its neck trying to keep it from biting but couldn't keep her arm from trembling dramatically. She was weak from sickness and exhaustion. Suddenly the corpse stopped struggling to eat her, a knife punching through its forehead like butter.

The body was yanked off and Valentine was faced with a complete stranger. The young man was panting his wide eyes jumping from her to the loud boot falls coming from down the hall. Daryl charged up, his frame low and menacing. His crossbow aimed at the kid's head while shouting, "Back off NOW!"

The kid raised his hands, taking a few stumble footsteps away before stammering, "Just helping."

Valentine struggled to her feet, Daryl reaching a hand out while keeping his bow trained on the scared kid. Grasping his offered palm Valentine was yanked to her feet.

"Ya a'right?" Daryl rasped, his eyes darting to her for a moment before returning to his target. Clearing her throat she looked over her arms and choked out, "m'fine. He helped me."

After a few silent tense moments Daryl lowered his crossbow and drawled, "Who are ya?"

"I'm N-noah."

"Whatcha doin here Noah?" He asked circling the kid, his eyes jumping around them, "You alone?"

The teen shuffled his feet obviously feeling the dangerous situation he found himself in. Nodding, the kid's eyes jumped to her while swallowing nervously. Valentine watched his throat bob and the sweat drip from his temple. She dropped to the ground heavily, her head bowed as a huge wave of dizziness overwhelmed her. She held her head in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. They were talking but Valentine couldn't pay attention to what was being said any longer. Her vision was a pinprick and her lungs full of razorblades.

'Soon Angel.' Negan sneered inside her head, 'You and I are going to have a long fucking conversation.'

Daryl was suddenly crouched at her side, his hand cupping her cheek, "Hey ya a'right?"

"Dizzy." She murmured, her head bobbing slightly as she shook off the familiar taunts in her head. That sneering grin and gleaming eyes haunting her feverish brain.

Everything felt liquid, her bones, the floor. She was melting into the industrial carpet below her. Nothing felt real any longer.

"Is she ok?" the kid's voice reverberated in the dark hallway.

"Mind your own." Daryl snapped before yanking out a bottle of water, "Here, drink Val. You're just dehydrated."

Valentine sipped it but murmured, "You know it's not just that Daryl."

Daryl's chin dropped to his chest and he rasped, "what do I do Val? Where do I go?"

Shrugging Valentine rest her head against the wall and muttered, "Isn't anything to do Dare. Not without meds. I'm too tired to keep going."

"What's wrong with her? What medicine does she need?" Noah spoke up his voice cracking with nerves.

"I said mind your..." Daryl growled but the kid cut him off asking, "What if I know a place to get medicine? Will it help her?"

Daryl shot to his feet and he stepped towards Noah, "Where at?"

The nervous kid stepped backwards, his hands up, "Hey... Hey just if I could would it help? Is she bit?"

"Ain't bit." Daryl growled and snapped, "where at?"

"Daryl, you're scaring the shit out of him." Valentine tried to calm him down and explained, "I got cut bad. It's infected. Where's this medicine and what do we gotta do?"

"If you help me, we can get the meds you need but you gotta help."

"Help you do what exactly?" she asked feeling pretty much over being awake for the day, her eyes falling closed as she listened.

"Save my friend. She's stuck there and I gotta get her out." He spoke quickly, his tone pleading. Valentine opened her eyes to see his hopeful expression.

"Stuck where?" Daryl drawled from next to her, his hand twisting the water bottle cap closed.

"At Grady."

"The hospital? Is there a blonde there? Young?" Daryl asked jumping to his feet, his eyes wild.

"Beth?" Noah asked, his brow furrowed.

"Yeah, yeah Beth she ok?"

"That's my friend, Beth she got me out, you know her?"

Daryl stood there dumbfound, his mouth slightly parted as if he were too stunned to speak. After a long second of awkward silence he rasped, "who's got her?"

"A dozen or so cops. They run the hospital." Noah replied his eyes jumping between the two.

Valentine winced at the number and asked, "They armed?"

"Yeah, they've got a lot." The kid replied, sitting on the ground in front of Valentine. "They keep people there like slaves. She helped me get out and I gotta get her out. She isn't safe there, especially now."

"Why now?"

"Now that they know she's strong." He spoke quietly adding, "they take the weak in, they can control them better. But now they know about her."

"well fuck, ya think me and my sick girl can help you go against a dozen heavily armed fucking assholes?" Daryl snapped, "how do you suppose we do that Huh?"

Valentine would have smiled at his declaration but instead chewed her lip and contemplated the situation.

"How'd you get out?"

"We climbed down the elevator shaft, got out through the parking garage. It was crawling with those things but Beth got us through. Then they caught her, she told me to run but..." Noah shook his head and Valentine could see tears welling in his eyes before he murmured, "I gotta help her."

"We will." Valentine spoke firmly, her eyes rising to Daryl's tense ones. He paced a few feet away, his thumb being gnawed on aggressively.

"We can't do this Val. You're too sick."

"That's just it." She replied with a soft smile, "I go in... By myself."

"No! Ya ain't doin' shit alone."

"Dare this is the way to get me well and her safe. I go in, once I've got what I need, her and I get out. It'll work."

"What ya gonna just walk in that place? What if they don't wanna treat you and they shoot ya? What if you can't get back out?" He snapped his eyes blazing. Taking a deep breath he muttered, "Ain't losin' both ya' again."

"You won't. You know me Daryl... you know what I can do and how far I'll go. I'll get us both out."

Daryl shook his head adamantly and chewed his lip, his eyes so piercing she could feel them drilling into her. Valentine shoved herself upright and grabbed his wrist, pulling him away from Noah. She spoke quiet and calmly, "It'll be ok. We don't have much choice here Dare. You know it's bad... I'm bad and if I don't get what I need..."

He scrubbed his face before yanking her into his chest, his thick arm winding around her shoulders. She felt him press his face into her neck, his breath warm and moist. Daryl's voice was hoarse and thick, "Val... Ya gotta come back out."

Valentine nodded, pulling back to see his face. She cupped his cheek and kissed him gently on the lips before whispering, "I don't normally make promises but I fucking promise I will get Beth and myself out of there. I will come back to you."

Daryl's eyes fell closed and he pressed his forehead against hers so firmly it hurt. She could tell he was feeling just how high her fever was running, his eyes widening slightly. His large palm came up to rest on her cheek and he rasped, "Why didn't ya tell me it was this bad?"

"I didn't want you too worry."

"Too bad. Ya gotta tell me this shit Val. We're in this together."

Nodding she smiled softly and whispered, "Sorry. I'm not used to it."

"Well, get used to it 'cause I ain't goin nowhere. You're stuck with me."

"Fine."

"Fine." He replied with a smirk.

Noah pointed out their car outside, "There they are. We gotta go if you wanna go inside. I know a place they pass by every patrol."

Valentine shoved herself to her feet and struggled through the vertigo to follow the two men.

"Why do they keep people?" Daryl asked following the kid through the building.

"They use them. Give them medical care and then make them pay off the debt." He explained weaving them through the building quickly.

Daryl gripped Valentine's wrist to keep her close as they moved down into the lobby of the large skyscraper.

"Only thing is, there's no paying it back because they charge you for everything. You're basically a slave." He went onto describe the way every food item and bottle of water cause accrued debt. They got to the front doors of the building and peered out through the glass doors.

"Ok here they come." Noah muttered, "We gotta decide now. I hear their car."

Daryl gripped her wrist tightly, his eyes pleading for her to stay. She wished she could but everything inside her was telling her it was life or death. The ill woman needed to get inside Grady. Valentine unclasped her blades, the belt clattering to the floor. She looked up at Daryl's strained eyes, the man appeared to be in physical pain. Reaching out she fisted his shirt, pulling his mouth to hers. She kissed him hard, all tongue and teeth. She pulled back and murmured, "I'll get her out. I promise."

Before he could stop her, Valentine slid out of the door running out into the street just as the car came around the corner. Stumbling into the road she raised her hands as the car came to a screeching halt. Right before it plowed into her she stepped back, falling onto her ass.

Two cops climbed out, guns raised and aimed at her head. "Hands up." The one barked at her, his eyes jumping around the area. Valentine silently prayed that Daryl and the kid stayed out of sight. It would only work if they thought she was a scared woman on her own.

"I just need help." She mumbled from the ground, her head swaying slightly, "I'm sick."

"You bit?"

"No… Got a bad cut a week ago."

"You by yourself?" the other cop asked reaching for her handgun and hunting knife.

"Yeah." She answered letting them remove her weapons without a fight. "Everybody died."

The two men spoke quietly while looking her over, their shoulders tense and eyes critical. She swallowed through a wave of nausea and watched as a few corpses stumbled down the street towards them.

"We got company." She told them jutting her chin towards the incoming dead. "Do you have a shelter?"

"Maybe." The guy answered, "Don't take in everyone though."

"I'll pay you back. I need medicine." She explained before choking out, "I don't wanna die."

It was the right tactic because the cops put their guns away and helped Valentine to her feet. She stumbled over towards the car, glancing at the building she had exited to see the shadow of the two figures watching her departure. Sliding into the backseat the door slammed shut, cutting her off from an escape and the man who had quickly become the only good thing she had left in the whole world. Hopefully Valentine hadn't just made the biggest mistake of her life.

* * *

Daryl clutched the handle of his bow until his joints ached, his teeth grinding audibly. His breath was coming out in jagged pants and his nostrils flared as he watched Valentine slid into the backseat of the cops vehicle.

"Goddamnit," he growled deeply, his voice cracking by the end. His hand covered his face, scrubbing it roughly as the car drove away. The teenager next to him tried to assure him, "They got medicine. They'll take care of her and we can get them out somehow."

"Oh yeah?" Daryl snarled pacing away furiously. The sound of his boots pounding back and forth echoed against the marble walls, "How ya propose we do that huh? We uh marchin' in the front door with nothin' but a couple bolts and our dicks in our hands? Damn woman can barely walk, how's she gonna get her and Beth out? Huh?!" By then end of the rant he was screamed, his eyes blazing.

"M'sorry." The kid held up both his hands and backed away as Daryl charged forward, reaching out to fist his shirt. "It was the only way. She looked really sick."

"Yeah well that's what happens when someone slits your throat," He grunted shoving him away before rubbing his face again. "World's full of assholes."

Nodding the kid offered "I'll try not to be one of them. I'll help you… What's your name?"

Daryl chewed his lip looking the kid over and rasped, "Daryl… 'n Valentine."

"She your wife?" Noah asked as they headed back upstairs to watch the hospital from afar.

Daryl's throat dried up making his voice gravelly, "She's all I got."

* * *

Valentine sat in the wheelchair they provided and watched as they passed a few open doorways, people dressed in scrubs watched them go by. She swallowed thickly as her nerves started getting the better of her. Valentine wasn't sure if she had made a huge mistake and was hoping that after they gave her medicine or until she was able to find it herself, she would be able to escape.

Keeping her eyes open for Beth, she hoped the girl didn't alert them to their connection. They didn't need to know that they knew each other and it was better if they didn't. They parked her in a exam room and helped her onto the bed. Valentine kept her movements slower than necessary and kept them thinking she was far worse off than she was.

"Doctor Edwards will be right in." the stern faced cop explained, "My names Officer Lamson."

"Thanks for helping me. I'm Alison."

The man nodded and then turned to see the apparent doctor enter the room. He was a plain looking man with a beard and glasses, his shirt was wrinkled and face pasty. She could tell just by looking at him that he hadn't been outside the hospital since the beginning.

"Hello there. I'm Dr. Edwards and you are?"

"Alison." She murmured.

"So what kind of injury do we have?"

"I was cut pretty bad. I put in stitches but its infected now." She described hissing as he peeled away the last of her bandages. Dr Edwards cleared his throat awkwardly once it was uncovered and muttered, "How'd you survive this? The skin is just gone. What was the weapon?"

"A sword. I had some help but then he died." Valentine mumbled over the lie, the idea of even lying about Daryl dying made her chest hurt. "Kept it clean but couldn't find antibiotics. Had a fever the last few days."

The doctor listened to her lungs and took her temperature. He hollered over his shoulder, "Can ya get Beth. I need some extra hands."

Valentine swallowed thickly and she asked, "Can you fix it?"

"Fix it no but I can clear up the infection. You're gonna have a lot of scarring. We have some bandages to promote skin growth, that'll help. Works well for burn victims."

The sound of light footsteps heading their way had Valentine's throat closing. She kept repeating inwardly, 'You don't know me. You don't know me.'

The petite blonde stepped inside, her wide blue eyes getting even large but her mouth stayed firmly closed. Valentine dipped her chin hoping she took it as silent appreciation.

"Yes Doctor Edwards?" Beth spoke evenly, her eyes darting to the man currently pulling out supplies and vials of medicine.

"I need you to get liquid antibiotics ready and to assist cleaning this wound." He instructed from over his shoulder. Another set of footsteps pounded down the hallway while the two got everything ready to help Valentine.

A female cop strode in, her back ramrod straight and her mouth frowned. It was obvious she was the person in charge at the hospital and it made Valentine sit up straight and prepare for what may come.

"What do we have?" she spoke to the doctor but her eyes were drilling into Valentine tried to keep with her weak and sick woman act dropped her eyes to her lap submissively. The doctor explained the injury and assured the cop it wasn't a bite wound despite it's gruesome look.

"I'm Officer Lerner. I'm in charge here." She finally spoke to Valentine who tipped her head when spoken to.

"Alison. Thank you for helping me." Valentine murmured and added, "If there's anyway I can pay it back I will."

The woman in her pressed uniform gave her a stiff nod, a slight curl in her lip was quickly smothered before she ordered, "Get her a ration and a bed. I'll speak to you in the morning Alison."

Officer Lerner turned on her heel and headed out of the room, the snap of her boots echoed until it faded away. Valentine sat as her IV was connected to a bag of antibiotics and pumped full of pain meds, her eyes slowly dropped shut. She could feel them working on her neck but eventually passed out completely.

* * *

Daryl and Noah sat perched in a windowsill watching the hospital from afar. The sun had set and the whole city was draped in the darkness. The shadows of the dead shambling along could be seen below them, the moon lighting the road just enough to see the streets being consumed by corpses.

The hospital had a few lights shining inside, most of the structure was dark though. He could make out a few people on the rooftops patrolling and an occasional flashlight beam near the ground. Noah was a wealth of information about not only the people running it but the ins and outs of the building. Daryl was starting to think getting the girls out may be possible if they couldn't get out on their own.

He was fairly confident he could get inside without being seen. If done at night he could enter the way Noah and Beth had tried to escape as long as they hadn't secured the area. Through the under ground garage and up through the elevator shaft seemed easy enough. It was just avoiding the walker filled grounds and the sniper's eyes from above.

"The cops, they bad?"

"Kinda a mix." Noah spoke tentatively, "A couple of them… well a couple aren't good people. I heard some stuff about 'em."

"Stuff?" Daryl growled, his eyes narrowing to slits. The kid shifted awkward, his weight moving to his good ankle. Daryl stood up to his full height, his shoulder's rolling forward slightly and he repeated, "What kinda  _stuff_?"

Noah cleared his throat and explained, "A few of them are bullies. One of the women.. Joan she tried to escape but got bit. She never said what happened but it had something to do with Gorman."

"Gorman?"

"Yeah, Officer Gorman. He's an asshole."

Daryl ground his teeth thinking about what might happen to Valentine while in her weakened state. If some bastard wanted to force her to do something she might not be able to fight them off.

"And ya didn't think we should known this shit before ya let her go in?" he drawled angrily, his eye cutting to the hospital as if he would be able to see what was going on inside. The dark windows and cavernous doorways seemed more ominous now. The unknown horrors that might be occurring while he sat on his ass blocks away had him on edge.

"We didn't exactly have time and I don't think he'll try anything yet." Noah tried to make him feel better but only had Daryl begin pacing the tiny room again.

"Yet?" he snarled with a toss of a hand, frustration thrumming through his body. Valentine was completely on her own and there was nothing he could do to help her. He had let the woman that he loved…

"Holy shit," he muttered under his breath as the thought ricocheted around his head like a .22 slug. Shaking his head slightly he skipped that thought because it was almost painful. It was painful because he had just let her walk out of his grasp and into a dangerous situation. She was sick, hurt and in the hands of possible monsters. Daryl felt like the biggest fuck up in the world.

"Bes' not lay a hand on her 'cause Imma burn that place to the ground." He rasped to himself, sitting on the ledge with his bow in his lap. "Get some sleep, tomorrow we find out how t'talk to 'em."


	28. Chapter 28

She felt her pulse pounding in her neck, a steady throbbing with every deep beat. Valentine moaned in pain, her eyes screwing up and mouth frowning. "Daryl?" she whispered hoarsely, her hands skimming the surrounding area for his warm body. When she discovered nothing but cold cotton Valentine opened her eyes, blinking through the Sonoran desert under her lids. Slowly she could make out the white walls of a hospital room. The memories of leaving him and entering a possible trap came back to her. A feeling of dread flooding her at the idea of not being out there if he needed her. A sound to her right had her blinking away the painful prickle in her sore eyes.

Beth was standing at the window slowly opening the blinds to let in the morning sunlight. The girl was wearing scrubs and had a thick cast wrapping her wrist. Her pale cheek and forehead were marred with harsh looking black stitches, thick lines cutting into the otherwise smooth skin. The girl had been hurt and that made Valentine ire rise, a steady bubbling of animosity towards those responsible. She cleared her throat roughly, the rawness making her grimace.

"Good you're up," the girl murmured walking to the bed quickly, "We don't have much time. They can't know about us."

"I know. Daryl and that kid you helped are out there. I needed medicine but we're gonna get out ok?" Valentine rasped thickly, pushing herself to sit more upright to ascertain her injuries. Her neck was still aching but her fever gone. The IV antibiotics and pain medication had done a fairly good job at restoring some of her strength. She was far from healthy but just having the raging fever gone helped immensely.

"Alright. How?" Beth asked her eyes wide and jumpy.

"I don't know yet but we will." She spoke with a determined expression repeating, "We will, alright?"

Beth nodded, smiling softly and stood upright, "I'm so happy to see you."

Valentine smiled giving her a nod but hearing the door handle rattle kept her mouth shut. Officer Lerner and the doctor entered the room, both seemed surprised at Beth's presence. The girl tried to explain instantly, her eyes wide and innocent.

"I brought her some scrubs." Beth spoke softly, "thought I should show her around."

The female officer pursed her lips, her hands clasped behind her. She screamed rules and regulations. Order. It was very Negan. Valentine would have to tread carefully around the woman to keep her from suspecting Beth or her of collaborating. Valentine knew the way to keep them under the radar was giving the woman what she wanted, control. Or at least give her the idea of being in control.

"Do you remember coming in two days ago?" Doctor Edwards asked, checking her pulse and blood pressure before pulling back the bandage looking at her injury.

Valentine eyes widened at the realization she'd been sleeping a whole day. "It been two days?" She asked with a shocked expression.

"Yeah. You needed your rest I suppose." Dr Edwards replied with a kind smile.

Valentine nodded and then expressed honest gratitude, "Thanks for taking me in, I'm not sure I would've lasted another day out there by myself."

Officer Lerner stood at the end of her bed, her eyes calculating. She crossed her arms tightly and then spoke unemotionally, "We took you in. You owe us now."

* * *

It had been a whole day and a half since Valentine walked away and into the hands of strangers. Daryl wasn't pleased and the anxiety was crushing him. Noah and him sat on top of the roof with Valentine's little pair of binoculars. He let his tense eyes scan the building for signs of the girls. The rooftop had a few spotters but not near enough to keep the grounds fully secured, which was promising.

"Anything?" Noah asked from his seat on the air conditioning unit.

Daryl grunted, "Nah."

The whole building looked dead except for the pacing pigs and roaming dead. Grinding his teeth, Daryl began thinking of all the worst-case scenarios, horrifying possibilities of what may or may not be happening at that very moment.

'Fuckin' piece of shit Dixon. Can't keep nobody safe.' He scolded with a shake of his head, his dirty hair hanging in his eyes. Daryl was feeling the heavy weight of guilt on his sternum, a relentless ache with no signs of letting up. Not until he felt Valentine in his arms would he breath easier.

Swallowing through an impossibly large lump in his throat, Daryl squeezed his eyes shut. He took a stuttered breath through his nose and let it out slowly while blinking away the burn.

'Pussy,' Merle sneered inside his head. 'Suck it up Buttercup. Ain't got time for no faggoty feelin's. Put on your big girl panties and get your woman back brother.'

Peering through the binoculars again he put the worry away, pushed it deep down inside and focused on what needed to get done. He was about to put the binoculars down when he caught the glimpse of green scrubs. Turning the focus dial he squinted at the figure crossing the rooftop towards the guard. Beth's bouncing blonde ponytail had Daryl letting out a relieved breath, the weight lifting minutely. He was pleased to see the girl again and hoped he'd get a glimpse of Valentine next.

Beth handed something to the guard and then stood there for a moment. She looked at the surrounding buildings, her feet taking her slowly back to the roof access door.

"Gimme that soda can." He grunted reaching out for the empty aluminum in Noah's hand. Stabbing his knife through it, he peeled it back to use the reflective surface. Daryl took a chance to flash sunlight at her without alerting the guard. He knew she saw it when her feet stumbled and she paused for a moment. Flashing it again at her Daryl could see her hand wave next to her thigh, hidden from the guard but not from Daryl.

"Thank fuck." He muttered before hopping down from his perch on a water tower. "Saw Beth. She looks ok."

"Good. No Valentine?" Noah asked climbing down from his spot to follow him inside.

"Nah but she's hurt. Probably rest in'." He answered while leading them into their little makeshift shelter.

"Dawn will have her up working. She doesn't like anyone resting too long." Noah explained, flopping down on the tiny love seat in the office suite. Daryl grunted in response and sat down in the window. He wasn't going to look away from the building, fearing he'd miss the girls escaping the hospital.

"She sounds like a bitch." He drawled while biting his thumb, his eyes glued to front entrance of the grey building.

They spent the rest of the day waiting and conserving what little supplies they had. If the others didn't escape soon, Daryl and Noah would need to leave the building to find more water and food. There hadn't been much to scavenge in the building to begin with and now it was striped bare.

"Know of anywhere nearby that might have shit left?" he asked Noah while draining the last of the water cooler into his canteen.

Noah shrugged and explained, "I haven't explored much other than this building and the one connected by the walkway. Might be stuff left in that one."

"Alright. Tomorrow we'll check it out."

* * *

Valentine was out of bed in the afternoon and assigned to the janitorial staff. Officer Lerner blew off Dr. Edward's assessment that the injured woman needed more rest. The woman wanted Valentine to earn her keep now that she was awake. Valentine didn't fight it though, she needed to learn more about her surroundings and she needed to speak with Beth. The easiest way to do both of those things was to be out and about in the hallways.

While pushing a mop bucket down the hallway she spotted Beth folding laundry. Ticking her head to the side she gestured for Beth to follow her. Strolling further down the darkened corridor she entered the surgical room she was told to mop. After a few seconds the door opened and Beth slid inside.

"How much time do we have?" Valentine asked peering out into the hallway.

"A few minutes. They just did rounds on this side."

Giving her a nod she began planning their escape. "Do you think we can go out the same way?" Valentine whispered, her eyes jumping to the door. Beth shook her head explained, "They've got the door locked and only three people have keys, Dawn, Dr Edwards and Gorman."

Pursing her lips she thought about the easiest way to get the keys. She could kill the doctor with such ease it should be her choice. A quick and quiet death would be the most prudent and allow the women to escape quickly. The only problem was now that Valentine was becoming more human and less feral, making such cutthroat decisions was becoming difficult. If she murdered him the hospital and it's sick wouldn't have a doctor and as terrible as some of the cops seemed, most weren't there to take advantage of the weak. What the place needed was to have those predators and their enablers culled. That meant she would need to go for Dawn or Gorman. Valentine wouldn't admit it out loud but she wasn't at one hundred percent so Dawn was out. Gorman had a weakness and it was located in his pants. He was the easiest and most deserving target.

"Ok we get a set of keys and we get the fuck out of here. We need to collect enough meds to keep me well. Do you know what I need?"

Beth nodded and whispered, "What about the others?"

"We can't save everyone." Valentine responded instantly, her eyes jumping to the door's tiny window looking for signs of the guards.

"We gotta try." Beth's voice raised slightly, her eyes pleading. "Beth..." Valentine let her voice trail off.

The young woman shook her head vehemently and demanded, "We gotta be different than them. We ain't them. We gotta give 'em the choice to leave."

Valentine chewed her lip before sighing, "I'll try. I'm not sure I'll be well enough to do it."

Beth smiled lightly and promised, "I'll do anythin' I gotta t'help."

The sound of footsteps had Beth hiding inside a cabinet while Valentine picked up her mop. She started pushing the floor cleaner around, her eyes rising as the door squeaked open.

Officer Gorman sauntered in, his hand resting lazily on his utility belt, a coy grin on his face. "Well hello there Allie."

She stifled her desire to sneer back at his creepy tone. The slime that coated the words made her thankful for lying about her name. Initially she did it to keep from exposing Beth and hers past in case the teen had spoken of the prison but now Valentine was thankful she'd never hear her name come out of the goon's mouth. She smiled softly and greeted him, "Officer Gorman."

He smirked widely and slunk closer to her, the air thickening with tension.

"Dawn's got you cleaning floors, huh? She should've put you in the kitchens. Could've seen me all afternoon while I inventory rations."

Valentine kept her lips curled and stood up straighter, her hand lazily holding the mop handle. "Maybe you should suggest it."

"Oh yeah? You'd like that?" he licked his bottom lip before biting it.

" 'course." She replied looking up as he stepped into her personal space, "I think I'd enjoy that… much more."

Gorman's hand reached out, sliding it onto her hip. She could feel his fingers through the thin scrubs and had to swallow through the nausea. He leaned closer aiming to kiss her but she turned her face. Valentine murmured, "Not yet."

The man groaned lowly, "Why?"

"Because I'm hurting a lot... I'd like to enjoy it." She responded huskily, "it'll be better for you too."

Gorman moaned slightly, his mouth sliding along her neck and rasping, "I'll talk to her."

"Thank you Sir."

The cops hand clutched to her hip, his fingers digging into her while groaning, "Goddamn I want you to say that when I'm buried inside you."

"Yes sir." She repeated before teasing, "now shoo. I need to finish this before I get in trouble."

The man pulled away slowly, turning to leave the room and with a quick leer over his shoulder Gorman promised, "See you soon, doll."

After the hallways became silent Beth slid out of the cabinet door, her eyes wide and panicked. Valentine swallowed thickly and whispered, "That's my in. I'll get the keys from him."

"Are you gonna…?"

"No." She answered instantly before muttering to herself, "Never again."

* * *

Valentine put the mop bucket away after cleaning the whole floor's hallways. Her shoulder was throbbing from the movement and her stomach was growling in protest of the lack of food. She headed towards the cafeteria for something to eat when she came upon Beth walking swiftly down the hallways, her eyes wide and cheeks flush.

"What's wrong?" Valentine whispered stopping the girl from continuing. Beth glanced over her shoulder and she whispered, "I just killed O'Donnell."

"What?" Valentine asked her voice rising unintentionally, her eyes wide and wild.

"H-he…" she started before shaking her head violently. "Dawn and him were fighting. I pushed him down the elevator shaft."

"Did she see you?" Valentine asked with a furrowed brow. Beth nodded, "She thanked me."

"Oookay." Valentine drawled rubbing her temple as a headache started to pulse in her skull. "Lay low. I'll get the keys tonight. Can you get the meds?"

"We'll need his keys to get 'em."

"Ok, I'll come for you once I got 'em. Keep you're head down alright?"

Beth nodded looking away from the woman, her frame tense and lip worried between her teeth. Valentine placed her hand on her back and stroked her shoulder blade assuring her, "You did what you had to ok?"

"Yeah."

"You're still you."

Beth smiled sadly and shook her head, "Nah. I'm something else."

"It seems like it right now but you're still you, only stronger."

"Don't feel strong." She muttered her head bowed and shoulder tightly wound. Valentine pursed her lips and looked around again feeling as if someone was watching. Patting her again feeling awkward at comforting someone. "Go on I'll see you later." She whispered, "It's not safe to talk right now."

"Alright." Beth agreed, bobbing her head before walking away down the hallway. Valentine watched her stroll away before heading to the cafeteria again. She wasn't sure what to make of the incident with Dawn and O'Donnell. It seemed as if Dawn wasn't too attached to her men if she was alright with Beth shoving them down elevator shafts. She was beginning to think that maybe there was more going on below the surface.

'Fuck it. Who cares?! Get your shit and get outta here, dumbass.' Valentine thought with a shake of the head. She just wanted to leave the place and find Daryl. Nothing else mattered. Nothing.

* * *

Valentine strolled down the dark hallway towards the makeshift gym. Gorman had invited her to join him that night for an evening tryst. She had to swallow down bile as he spoke about the things he wanted to do to her while she grabbed her dinner. It would hopefully be a quick meeting ending with the sick bastard dead and the keys to freedom in her hand.

"Hey there, doll." Gorman greeted while standing up from a weight bench. "You find the place alright?"

"Yeah." She replied with a smile, closing the door behind her with a quiet click. She walked with her hips swaying a little bit more than needed and traced a finger over the weight bar. "Can you lift all this weight?"

"Of course." He drawled with a cocky grin, "Want to watch me?"

"Yes." She replied instantly adding a coy smirk to cover the desperate sound in her voice. "Kinda have a thing for weight lifters."

Gorman grinned before rolling his shoulders, stretching before he lay down on the weight bench. Valentine stood above him, her eyes darkening at the sight of him vulnerable. A sickening feeling of sliding back into the Valentine of Sanctuary hit her. The calculating and cold blooded murderer. She salivated at the sight of her prey exposing his neck to her. Submitting. 'Psycho Val,' she scolded herself.

"Gonna spot me?" he asked with a smile, "Not sure you can lift this Doll."

"I'll do my best." She assured while holding back her eye roll, "I'm sure you won't need it. You look awfully capable."

"Got no idea doll." He bragged before lifting the bar off the rack, his shoulders flexing as he lifted the weight up over his chest as he lay on his back. She watched him pump the bar up and down a few times, his arms strong enough to hold the weights on his own. Valentine took another step closer and smiled down at him. "Looks like you can handle some more weight."

"Oh yeah." He asked, his voice straining slightly as his arms began to fatigue.

"Yeah." She replied before reaching out and pushing the bar down towards his neck. The man grunted as she rest all the weight of her body onto the bar, the metal pushing into his throat as he choked. Valentine growled as she thrust it harder onto his arched neck, the man's face began to turn red and purple.

"Bitch." He grunted shoving upwards, knocking her off balance. Valentine fell backwards, the man throwing the weighted bar to the side with a loud clatter. The winded man launched himself at her. They scrambled on the ground Gorman cursing up a storm while she kicked and hit him. Valentine crawled away when a well placed kick clipped the man in the jaw. Picking up a free weight from the ground she turned around, bringing the heavy metal object down on the man's forehead. A sickening crack echoed in the tiny room as blood spray across the floor. Valentine brought the dumbbell down on his head three times before the pressure cracked his skull open and he stopped moving. Panting heavily she felt her hands trembling at the adrenaline and her neck aching from the action.

"Fuck." She gasped sitting back on her ass while trying to catch her breath. "Fuck." Valentine repeated, squeezing her eyes shut to stem the odd tears flooding them. After a few seconds of deep breathes she searched his body for the desired set of keys as well as divesting him of weapons. Clutching them painfully in her palm, she grabbed a towel and wiped off the spilled blood from her face and hands. The mirror on the wall above the tiny sink reflecting the gruesomeness of her actions.

Taking another deep breath Valentine headed out into the hallway, her feet taking her swiftly to Beth's room. Sliding inside she found the girl perched on the hospital bed waiting for her.

"Let's go." Valentine whispered, "We need to stop and get meds, then we head out."

Beth took the keys from her, looking them over quickly before hissing, "Shit."

"What?"

"He doesn't have a key to the medicine cabinet."

"What?" Valentine growled, "What the fuck did I just kill him for if he doesn't have the key?"

"You killed him?"

"Of course." Valentin replied with a furrowed brow, "What else would I have done?"

"I don't know... Look Dawn has a key in her office I guess she doesn't trust anyone else with it. I saw her grab it once. This key will get us into the office." Beth explained holding up the tiny silver key.

"Fine. Let's get this shit over with. Someone's gonna find him soon."

The women maneuvered through the hallway, ducking into darkened rooms to avoid detection from the guards patrolling. Soon they ended up in the tiny office that Dawn used, the filing cabinet and desk both locked tightly. Valentine was prying open the desk when Beth hissed, "Shoot. She's coming."

Valentine popped the drawer open and grabbed the ring of keys lying in the bottom. Turning slightly she whispered, "Get under the desk." Beth dove into the shadows, her lanky frame folding into the tiny space.

Valentine tucked the keys into her pocket and then sat down in the office chair beside the desk. She acted bored as the door swung open and Dawn stared down at her.

"What're you doing in my office?"

"What?" Valentine asked with a feigned look of confusion.

"Why are you in here? How did you get in here?"

"Gorman told me to wait here for you. He said you needed to talk to me." She spoke with a worried tone, her eyes wide, "M'sorry. I didn't mean to do anything wrong. He just said you needed to see me."

Officer Lerner stood with her arms crossed and feet wide. She stared at her for a long quiet moment before walking into the room. Valentine tensed as she approached Beth's hiding spot, the woman only inches for the tiny blonde. Clenching her jaw Valentine stood up, her hands raised, "Look I'm sorry I didn't.."

"Shut up." Dawn snapped, her feet moving away from the desk. Valentine breathed a little easier and took a step back to increase the gap. She could see the other woman's pleasure at her submissive stance. It made Valentine sneer inwardly, the resemblance to Negan to difficult to ignore.

'Fucking power hungry assholes.' She thought in disgust.

"I don't know what's more disappointing, you sitting in here because an idiot like Gorman told you too or your pathetic pleading. I had hoped you were stronger but apparently not."

Valentine's hackles raised and she clenched her fists. 'Don't do it Val. Don't.'

Officer Lerner smirked and stood close to Valentine, her voice low and menacing, "It's people like you that need people like me and my men. You won't survive without us."

Valentine ground her teeth, her fists clenching at the insults. She took in a slow even breath to keep her annoyance in check.

Dawn smirked, taking a step back from Valentine. Her mouth opened to spew more taunts but was cut off when Beth drove a pair of office shears into the side of the woman's neck.

Valentine's eyes widen at the sight and stood frozen as Beth yanked the scissors out before driving them in again and again. Bright red blood sprayed out across the room, splashing Beth's forearms and shirt. Dawn's hands clawed at the wound, her bloodied palms trying to stem the bleeding as Beth stumbled away.

Valentine finally made a move, tackling the officer to the ground. Beth stood there looking shocked at her actions, her mouth open but silent. Scrambling on the ground with the injured woman, Valentine grabbed her neck, her fingers digging into the bloodied flesh. She squeezed while Dawn clawed at her arms, the woman's legs kicking out trying to escape. Blood smeared all over the ground as they writhed against each other, the woman's boots scuffing the tile. Valentine growled loudly, her hands crushing Dawn's throat, her legs squeezing her ribs as she straddled the injured woman.

Beth knelt next to them, her mouth spewing out apologizes and whimpers. "Val. M'sorry. M'sorry. Please. Val. "

"Shut up." Valentine sneered her hands shaking the now limp woman, testing her for any signs of life. Keeping her hands tight for another minute, she panted heavily as she released the dead woman's neck, the purple bruises blooming under the smeared blood. Swallowing thickly Valentine looked at Beth and gasped, "We gotta go now."

"What about the others."

"Fuck 'em. Don't have time now that you got all stabby." Valentine snapped, grinding her teeth angrily. Their plans were all fucked up now. It was supposed to be a quiet escape and now they had killed two people. She had killed two more people.

"M'sorry. She's just kept on talkin' and it... It pissed me off."

"Yeah me too but fuck, Beth." She scoffed before shaking her head with a sigh, "Nevermind. Doesn't matter. Let's go."

Valentine pulled Dawn away from view of the door and Beth made sure all the blinds were closed. She took the cop's gun and handcuffs as well as her taser gun. Picking up the bloodied scissors she stabbed Dawn in the eye before pocketing the shears for a backup. Looking over at Beth frantically try to scrub the blood from her hands off on a sweatshirt.

"Beth." She spoke firmly making the girl's head snap up, her eyes wide and in shock. "We're leaving now. Stay close." Handing off the taser she warned, "use this as a last resort. You'll only have one chance."

They walked out of the door, Valentine locking it behind her. They headed down a few hallways, both pausing at the sound of footsteps nearby. Beth peered around a corner at the door holding the supplies Valentine needed. Inside were the IV antibiotics and special bandages to help heal her wound.

"Clear." She whispered, her sneakers quietly striding a few steps. With shaking hands the teen unlocked the door and led Valentine inside. Once the door was closed the pair began gathering anything they needed as well as items that would be helpful in the future. They filled a duffle bag from Dawn's office as well as a pillowcase.

"Ok let's go to the stairwell on the west side."

"That sides crawling with walkers."

"And free of guards." Valentine replied while gently opening the door, her dark eyes looking both ways before leading them into the hallway. The pair moved swiftly, their feet squeaking quietly through the different entryways and corridors.

Beth froze when the sound of boots echoed towards them. Valentine paused, looking at Beth and whispered, "Be ready."

They stood flat against the wall as the door between hallways opened. Staying still behind the door they watched a guard continue on, completely unaware of them hiding. The door slowly closed until Valentine stuck the scissors pilfered from Dawn's office into the hinge to keep it from locking. Once alone they glided through the narrow gap, heading deeper into the hospitals corridors.

"Listen and smell. Your eyes won't be much use now." Valentine murmured as they headed into an even darker area of the hospital. The smell of rotting flesh was more prevalent, broken light bulbs and strewn sheets littered the ground. Beth used Dawn's keys to open a few doorways until they reached the west stairwell. It led down to the parking garage, which wasn't clear of corpses but had a viable exit. Valentine used the hilt of her gun to bust open the nearest walker's skull. With a grunt she kicked it away before jogging with Beth. They ducked through a gap in the wire fence to climb down the barricaded garage ramp. "Run." Valentine panted as a row of walkers came into view.

"There's too many." Beth gasped her eyes widening. Valentine repeated, "Just run."

The pair zigzagged through the dead's reaching hands, Valentine shoving a few into each other as they rounded a corner to the ground level. Seeing an open driveway Valentine had them running at full sped, the duffle bag slamming against her back as they exited onto the street. Getting an idea of their location Beth panted, "I saw the reflection on that building there."

She pointed at the structure Valentine had last seen Daryl and Noah. Giving her a nod, Beth and Valentine jogged along the cement walls, their eyes adjusting to the darkened streets. The echoed footfalls filled the night as moans and snarls caught Valentine's ears. Dodging a few dead, the women took a few side streets and alleys to cross the few city blocks to the building the men were hopefully still in.

"One more block." She panted, shifting her bag to a better position, her neck injury stinging from the pull. Beth panted next to her, her good hand holding the taser while her broken one held the pillowcase awkwardly. They slowed down once at the appropriate corner and Valentine traced her eyes over the structure looking for any signs of the pair. On the bottom floor, in the window of a coffee shop a giant V was drawn on the front window.

"They're here." She whispered ticking her head to the letter. Beth smiled widely and followed the woman into the tall office building. They paused at the stairwell, the darkness cloaking the area becoming eerie. Valentine listened but didn't hear anything beside the moans of the dead on the street.

Taking a deep breath she put two fingers in her mouth, the trill birdcall came out in two short bursts. Daryl taught her the sound to use while hunting together. It was used to tell the other they were in the area. It kept them from shooting each other by mistake. Valentine held her breath waiting for the answer birdcall. The silence made her chest constrict and she was about to tell Beth she might have been wrong when the shrill and short answer call rang out from a few floors above. A head poked out over the railing and Noah starred down at them.

Without being able to wait Valentine moved quickly up the staircase, her feet pounding loudly up the trash covered steps. The further she climbed the faster her heart raced. She hadn't let herself think about Daryl while in the hospital but now that he was yards away, Valentine couldn't hold back the onslaught of emotions.

A beam of light hit them and she saw two figures coming down the last level of steps, the shadow of Daryl's bow making her smile. Taking two more steps up she collided with him, her arms wrapping around his waist as her nose burrowed into his neck.

"Good t'see ya Sweetheart." He murmured against her temple, his lips brushing the sweaty skin. "Ya a'right?"

Nodding she sniffed back a sob and rubbed her face roughly before looking up at him. "M'Better." She choked out, her hand gripping his vest while his palms cupped her elbows.

Beth hugged Noah and then quipped, "Good to see you Mr. Dixon."

Daryl snorted at the nickname and drawled, "You too Greene. Ya a'right?"

Valentine watched him look at the girl's new scars and broken wrist. His teeth ground audibly and he glared at Valentine. She knew he wasn't angry with her but couldn't help but feel defensive. "Happened before I was there."

"How'd you get out?" Noah interrupted the tension.

Beth shifted uncomfortably and Valentine could see guilt flooding her. Valentine had killed Dawn but Beth's actions instigated it. They could've left without spilling so much blood but ended up leaving two bodies behind because Beth lashed out.

"Snuck out. You got a secure spot?" She asked changing the subject. "M'tired."

Daryl instantly led them upstairs, his hand pulling her bag off her shoulder. His lip curled slightly at her eye roll and he laid a protective hand on her back. Valentine pretended to be offended at the babying but truthfully it felt more than pleasurable. It was comforting and she felt like she'd just come home.

* * *

Daryl stared at Valentine who was sitting while Beth hooked her up to an IV bag. She had one more round of liquid antibiotics and then would begin a round of pills. He couldn't believe she was back and he'd be damned if he ever looked away from her again. Her color was back, she no longer looked pale and sweaty. She smiled at him, his neck flushing at being caught gawking. He rolled his eyes playing off his embarrassment and rasped, "Ya got any food?"

"A few bags of trail mix and a few candy bars." Beth replied while pulling out tiny vending machine sized snacks. Daryl split one with Valentine, giving her more than half of the mix. He knew, she knew but neither said anything.

Soon both Beth and Noah bedded down for the evening while Daryl and Valentine sat next to each other in large windowsill. He couldn't stop glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, the shadows softening her face, her eyes hooded with exhaustion.

"Should lay down Val." He rasped quietly, his hand brushing her lower back. Daryl wanted to hold her, wanted to feel the warmth from her body soaking into his. She glanced at him then spoke as if hearing his thoughts, "Only if you lay down with me."

"Gotta keep watch."

"Everything's barricaded." She offered, his heart pounding harder at her hopeful eyes. Daryl chewed his lip and glanced at the two sleeping forms, his self-consciousness taking root.

"Bes' not." He rasped his chin tick to the others. Valentine smirked, "I'll keep my pants on if you do."

Snorting he elbowed her playfully, "Stop."

"Come on. I know ya wanna." She quipped, moving to the floor near a large desk. Pushing the chair out of the way she stretched out behind the office furniture giving them a little privacy. Daryl watched her while biting his cuticle nervously. His eyes jumped to Beth and Noah before landing back on Valentine's shadowed form. Swallowing his nerves Daryl checked the door again before sliding behind the desk and onto the floor.

"Thought you might not join me." she whispered sleepily.

"Just... Ain't used to this... Never had it." He explained gruffly, his anxiety flaring at the confession.

"Had what?"

"A girl." He rasped, his cheeks heating. 'Gonna think you're a weirdo Dixon.'

"Ok... well get used to it." She snarked her hand coming to rest on his chest. He could hear the smile in her voice, her words more amused than snippy.

"S'pose I can do that." He drawled, his hand sliding up her bicep to her neck. His hand brushed across the thick bandaging and he asked, "They fix ya up?"

"Yeah. Special patches to help it grow skin back. Doctor said it's going to scar real bad... M'sorry." She ended in a whisper. Daryl cupped her face and he assured, "Don't gotta apologize."

"I know I'm... Disfigured."

"Stop."

"It's true. I know that and I'm fine with it. It is what it is but I feel bad that you gotta see it."

"Stop. Ya ain't disfigured and you don't gotta apologize." He assured her, his thumb brushing across her cheek, "think you're gorgeous."

"Shuddup." She breathed out, her cheeks pinking up. Daryl smirked at the sight and continued to tease her, "s'true. Prettiest woman in Georgia."

"Daryl. Shush." She laughed quietly, her cheeks bright red in the shadowed room. He grinned at her and brushed his thumb across the warm skin.

"Get some sleep." He murmured, his voice low and gravelly. Leaning forward he brushed his lips across hers while whispering, "m'happy ya got out."

"Me too." She spoke quietly, her eyes closing sleepily. He felt her scoot closer, her forehead burrowing into the side of his neck, while he wrapped and arm around her waist. Daryl kissed the crown of her head and breathed in her scent. He couldn't believe he got her back again. When she slid into that cops car he wasn't too sure he would see her again. It had felt like a vise unlocked when he heard the birdcall ring out in the staircase. 'Best fuckin thing I heard all year.' He thought while stroking her back through her shirt and thanking all things that were holy that she was returned to him. 'Never again girl, ain't never leaving' me again.'


	29. Chapter 29

When he woke up Valentine was still curled into him, her soothing heat soaking into his chest. 'Fuckin' heaven.' He thought while burying his nose into her thick blonde hair. Daryl's arm tightened, pulling her soft body even closer. A quiet moan escaped her parted lips, the moist warm air tickling his neck. His fingers curled instinctively at the enticing sound, blunt nails biting into her curves. Feeling her burrow against him, Valentine's hands clutching the leather of his vest, had Daryl's eyes hooded in pleasure.

Soon Valentine stirred, her body stretching out along him with tiny rolling vibrations. He could feel her muscles ripple against him and heard the groan of pleasurable pain from the stretch. Smirking at the tiny contented sigh that followed Daryl rasped roughly , "Morn'n'."

"Mmm." She hummed, her nose brushing along his neck before kissing his jaw. "Morning."

Daryl felt Valentine's hair tickle his jaw and her chin rumple his shirt as she turned her gaze upwards, her eyes finding his as they lay silently. He couldn't help but bring a hand up to her jaw, his thumb stroking her cheek and bottom lip. There had never been a time where he laid in bed with a woman and had just… been there. His sex life prior surmised of one night stands and fuck buddies. They never stuck around and he never would've wanted them too.

There on the floor of an abandoned office building, surrounded by the walking dead, was the closest Daryl had ever been with someone. They weren't speaking only looking but it felt soul baring. The woman was seeing him, seeing inside and he wasn't angry. Daryl wasn't upset with it in the slightest. He wanted her to see him because he knew deep down that she would stay despite all the shit he carried with him. Daryl knew she wouldn't ever walk away. And that? That was something the man had never had.

"Sleep good?" He asked hoarsely, the urge to taste her causing his mouth to water. She nodded and slid her hand over his chest, a finger tracing the top button of his shirt. The image of her slowly opening it and sliding her hands over his skin had Daryl biting his cheek for distraction. If he didn't he was going to maul her. Valentine stretched her head up, her lips fitting against his, the wetness of her tongue tracing the seam of his lips making him moan deeply. The heat of her mouth moving simultaneously with his had Daryl's hands clutching her desperately.

She rolled her hips against his thigh, a groan smothered by his eager lips. Daryl pulled back breathless, the buzzing in his head from lack of oxygen making him dizzy. She smiled softly, her lips kissing his jaw once before curling into him again.

"I'm glad last night wasn't a dream." Valentine whispered, her voice sounding fragile. Daryl squeezed her and agreed gruffly, "Me too."

The sound of the others waking had Daryl stiffening, his body tense with unease. He wasn't used to being close to someone and he sure as shit didn't want that vulnerable side exposed to just anyone. Valentine squeezed him and murmured, "Don't go."

Grunting in response he kept his eyes narrowed with a heated glare should the others mention their sleeping arrangements. Beth approached the window, her eyes catching his for a moment before turning back to the city streets. He saw a tiny smile curl her lips in the reflection and wanted to huff out an angry retort but couldn't when Valentine clung to him. He couldn't find it in him to care much about the lack of masculinity he felt while cuddling. There wasn't a single doubt in his mind that he'd die a happy man if he got to hold that woman every night. Nothing could be as good as Valentine wrapping herself around him.

"Gotta get up." He rasped against her temple, his lips brushing her skin. "Need to get outta the city in case they come lookin'."

"Yeah." She murmured sleepily, "Just comfy."

"Yeah." He answered kissing her forehead before peeling himself away. Valentine grumbled, "Five more minutes."

"Already gave ya five." He grunted standing up and stretching his long frame. He could feel his body aching from lying on a hard floor. Kicking her boot lightly he teased, "Come on lazy ass."

"Shuddup." She snapped back but laughed slightly, "Damn taskmaster."

"Damn right." He replied with a grin, "Le's get the hell outta here and away from that shithole."

Beth and Noah were up eating a bag of trail mix when Valentine finally sat up. Her hair was a wild mess and she had red welts from having his vest pressed into her cheek all night. She looked gorgeously rumpled. Daryl bit his cheek to keep from smiling widely at her, the word 'adorable' pinging around his head like a racquetball, making him feel like some teenage girl.

Valentine pulled her bag towards her and then began peeling back her bandages. He watched her fumble with cleaning it and reached out to take the antiseptic wipes they must have stolen from the hospital.

"Lemme." he drawled quietly, his eyes taking in the raw looking wound. It had definitely begun healing up, the new skin pink and shiny but not inflamed. There was still thick scabbing on the deepest cut of the injured skin but the stitches had been removed. Going into the hospital had been life saving. Daryl could see that now that she was looking healthy again.

"How's it look?" she asked as he pressed another of the healing bandages on, taping the edges to keep it waterproof.

"Good." He replied adding, "Gonna be jus' fine." Valentine nodded and packed away her first aid supplies when he finished. The group was going to get away from the city and hopefully back into the area where the others may still be. They weren't sure if their family would have stuck around but it was the only lead they had and Daryl would do just about anything needed to reunite with them.

* * *

Valentine and Beth were searching through the back of an SUV while Daryl tinkered in the engine. Noah stood watch on the roof, his eyes scanning the surrounding woods and the upcoming paved road. They had fled the city pretty uneventfully and were now searching for supplies and possibly a vehicle. They could hike back to the surrounding area of the prison but a car would help keep them from exhausting themselves and their resources. They would need more water and food if expending that kind of energy.

Holding up a bottle of sunscreen to see that the bottle was bone dry made Valentine frown. "Damn it, is it too much to ask to find some lotion? I have permanent sunburns on my cheeks."

Beth chuckled and retorted, "It's your elusive white whale."

Valentine snorted quipping, "Just call me Ahab."

Noah's voice floated down from above, "Guys." Standing upright Valentine looked at the teen's hand pointing out a row of undead coming through the trees. Pulling out her blades Valentine wandered towards them, giving Daryl a smirk as she passed.

"Be careful." He cautioned while cranking a wrench inside the engine block, his bare arms flexing with every twist. Valentine's feet faltered at the sight but she pulled her lusty eyes away and head to the forest. "Always. Come on Beth." She called over her shoulder, "Time for some training."

The two women approached the four walking dead, Valentine with her machetes and Beth with the knife Daryl had given her. Valentine had been teaching Beth more ways to kill the dead using her size as a strength rather than a weakness. Moving quickly the young woman spun around the corpse, slamming her blade into its temple while pushing the body forward. The limp corpse tripped up the next biter causing it to fall in front of Beth. Spinning her knife around the slim blonde plunged it into the back of the fallen dead's skull with an audible crack.

Valentine was killing the remaining with her usual grace, her long curved machetes splitting their skulls with two elegant swings. Standing in the quiet forest Valentine listened for anymore threats, her eyes scanning the almost overwhelmingly green trees for movement. Seeing nothing nearby she ticked her head to the girl and instructed, "Lead the way."

Beth wound them out of the forest and towards the now running vehicle. Daryl was cupping the flame of a lighter while taking a deep drag off his scavenged cigs. Valentine smirked at the way his large frame looked so relaxed despite the edge of awareness he wore. She had no illusions of him not watching them kill the dead. His eyes were keen and his senses sharp. If they had needed help he would've been there in seconds.

"All good?" he rasped while exhaling to the side, his gaze trailing over her slowly. She couldn't help but flush at his deep seeing eyes, the almost tactile way they skimmed her body. Biting her bottom lip she nodded slowly, her eyes watching the way his sweaty shirt clung to his shoulders.

'Jesus.' She thought wryly, the urges the man was producing inside her making it difficult to concentrate. Daryl touched her elbow, his eyes concerned, "Y'sure?"

Nodding dumbly again she whispered, "Just tired."

Daryl's squinted eyes looked her over again, the tense line of his mouth telling her he didn't believe her lie. "Stretch out, get some shut eye." He instructed despite the obvious unconvinced look in his eyes. Sitting in the front seat Valentine reclined it back enough to relax and shut her eyes. Soon the rocking motion and lulling hum of passing pavement had her passing out. It wasn't until the sound of the engine clunking and grinding that her eyes opened again.

"The fuck?" she rasped gruffly, her dry eyes looking at Daryl who was muttering a string of curse words at the steering wheel.

"Looks like were walkin' from here." He drawled peering out the wet windshield, the skies opening up above them letting a low rumbling loose. Valentine sighed and looked at their surroundings and then back at Daryl.

"We pass any shelters?"

"Nah but there's a tiny town a couple miles up. That's where I was headed." He responded while packing the map into a waterproof pocket in his bag. Beth and Noah were splitting up the supplies into camping packs in the back seat, both making sure the other wasn't carrying too much weight.

Valentine yawned widely and mumbled, "Kinda feel like a slacker. Anythin' I need to do?"

Beht chuckled, "You needed your sleep. Those meds are going to knock you out whenever you take 'em."

Nodding she looked at Daryl asked, "Got a plan?"

Daryl grunted, while adjusting his bags strap to cross his back. "Go 'round west and see what we see. Head in from the north when get there."

Valentine chewed her lip and looked at the forest around them and made a note of any landmarks. If they got separated they could head back to the car or some other visible location. Seeing a large water tower she suggested, "If we get separated for any reason we should meet there."

Daryl ducked his head to see what she was pointing at and gave her a nod of approval, "A'right."

Beth bent over the seat to look out the window and smiled, "That works. Can probably see it from everywhere in town."

* * *

The group headed out through the woods and began circling in towards town. They killed walkers as they moved quietly, the rain smothering any sounds they did make. Valentine wiped rain water out of her eyes periodically as the storm roared on around them. A sharp and shocking sound of thunder cracking overhead had her flitching. She glanced at Daryl who looked more than irritated by the hike through a rainstorm.

Large looming shadows of a factory began jutting out of the landscape as they approached the town's perimeter. Daryl ticked his chin and signaled them to head towards the structure. He took point while Valentine walked a couple steps behind and to the right. Beth and Noah took the rear, both watching for dead or living.

The old fence barrier surrounding the industrial building lay flat on the ground, barbwire and broken fencing tangle up with dead and debris. Valentine drove her blade in every dead body they passed to keep from running into them later. Beth did the same on the other side, while Noah collected any weapons on the bodies. He smiled widely when he pulled a large hunting knife off the belt of a fallen man. Valentine bobbed her head signaling him to keep it for himself.

Once arriving at the large buildings entrance the four moved efficiently and thoroughly. The entire first floor was covered in old tents and torn sleeping bags The property was once a shelter for a large group but had been overrun. It had been months since it was inhabited though, the ground showing multiple months of dirt and dust accumulated.

"Le's clear it. Stay 'til it's dry." Daryl rasped over his shoulder while heading to the stairwell. The group moved efficiently up the stairs and killed every roaming walker they stumbled upon. Once on the top floor they got to see the town from afar. The place looked like it had been raided thoroughly, the front doors of homes still hanging open, the streets in town cluttered with debris and broken cars.

"Place is prolly bare." Daryl complained from his seat at the window, "Group this big prolly got everythin' good."

"Maybe." Valentine replied but added, "Could be they didn't clear it since it was so close. Figured it was easier to just go shopping."

Daryl grunted, rolling his shoulder heavily but his eyes softened slightly. The tension draining just enough for Valentine to notice the change. Glancing over her shoulder at Beth and Noah she watched them getting food prepared, their easy tones and smiles assuring Valentine they weren't watching them. Sliding her hand into his, she stepped into his side, her chin resting on his shoulder.

"We'll be fine." she murmured to him, kissing the corner of his mouth chastely. Daryl smirked, nodding a little before rasping, "Ya think?"

"No. I know." She replied with a crooked grin, "You should get some sleep. I slept the whole way here. I'll keep watch."

She could see him looking for a reason to argue but shook her head and pointed at the only pieces of furniture in the room, a long wood bench with thin cushions. The man huffed out an irritated breath but climbed out of the windowsill. "Fine," he muttered but his eyes were amused, "Damn taskmaster."

"Damn right." She repeated his reply from earlier.

* * *

Valentine and Daryl were running through the woods, their feet carrying them not near as fast as they needed. The dead were following and the sound of gunfire in the distance had them even more worried.

"The fuck?" Daryl grunted as he helped Valentine up a steep ravine. Valentine panted and replied, "Don't matter. We gotta get to the water tower."

"Ya think it's them?" he asked as they moved along a grassing field. Valentine shook her head and replied, "No. They'll lay low. They know not to use them."

"Yeah unless they don't have a choice." He replied gruffly his eyes looking tense with the unknown. Shaking her head Valentine whispered, "They're fine Dare." Squatting down next to a fence she peered into the upcoming neighborhood for movement. The whole day had been uneventful until a random group of dead turned into a herd. Now Beth and Noah were on the run by themselves and Valentine and Daryl were stuck hoping they could take care of themselves for a while.

"There." She spoke while pointing out the tiny spire of the water tower. Daryl grunted and turned around, stabbing a roaming biter before ticking his chin to their destination, "Go on."

The sound of gunfire had died down and there was smoke billowing up in the distance but otherwise the area had become quiet. Valentine led them through the woods, her eyes scanning the ground and finding it rutted and trampled.

"Herd came this way." Daryl informed from behind her, his arm pointing out the lack of living undergrowth. The small shrubs and evergreens stomped to the dirt and lower branches broken off at sharp angles.

"We're behind them then?" she asked looking back at the hunter. Daryl bobbed his chin a couple times, chewing his lip. "Looks like they headed to the shooting or they headed there and caused it."

The pair moved swiftly, their shoulders dodging the sharp broken branches and avoiding tripping hazards. Valentine drove her blade into a fallen corpse, it's legs tangled in vines and plant life. The sound of undead behind them had Daryl growling deeply, "Motherfuckers. Can' anythin' be easy?"

"Pffft." Valentine snorted, swinging her blade around and into the temple of an approaching biter. "What planet are you from Dixon?"

Daryl chuckled and released a bolt into the eye of a rotting old man. The corpse crumpled to the ground and Daryl snarked, "Smartass."

Valentine kicked a dead woman in the leg, the body falling to the side allowing her to slice her machete through its forehead like butter. "Takes one to know one." She panted with a cocky grin.

Daryl's eyes narrowed and bristled unconvincingly, "Shuddup." Valentine could see him fighting a smile and elbowed him playfully in the ribs as they jogged to the factory. They wouldn't be able to reach the water tower at the moment. The pair needed to find cover for the evening. Daryl ticked his chin to the building, "Gotta hole up. Find 'em in the mornin'."

Valentine sighed in frustration but nodded anyways. "Yeah."

The couple entered the same way they had before only to find more dead had accumulated. Dodging hands and mouths Daryl lead them up two floors and into a large machinist room. The room housed dozens of manufacturing tables. The tiny stations held machines and old supplies for constructing parts. They braced the two doors by tying the handles together with extension cords. Pushing a few of the tables filled with equipment in front of the doors the pair moved away from the entryways and listened.

There was moaning and growling outside the doors where Daryl and Valentine hid. She was leaning against the wall, her heart racing and lungs sucking in air. Daryl was standing a hair's breadth away from her, his leather vest brushing against her arm with every ragged breath.

"They got up to the floor." She whispered roughly, "We're gonna have to wait 'em out."

Daryl glanced at the door and then motioned for her to head further away from it, "Let's stay over there, we can see the doors but they can't see us."

Valentine led them to the tiny alcove that must have been the floor manager's office. The glass walled room had blinds covering the view inside. It would hide them but allow for a view of the two exits.

Standing in the dark they watched as a few dead wandered past the large window but none seemed interested in the doorway. Valentine was leaning against the one solid wall while Daryl stood near, his eyes looking out the blinds. His crossbow was hanging heavily at his side while his other hand was braced over her shoulder. Tipping her chin up she locked eyes with his, a crackling of electricity began between them, her tongue subconsciously wetting her lips at the prospect of tasting him.

"Val." He rasped at the sight of her pink tongue, his hand moving to her cheek and jaw. Daryl's head dipped down, his lips hovering so closely she felt heat radiating from him. "S'ok?" He whispered tentatively.

Valentine nodded dumbly, her bottom lip brushing his with the motion. "Please." She gasped her chest constricting with anticipation.

It wasn't their first kiss but it was the first time they were completely alone since finding the teens. Since she started feeling human again and less like the walking dead. The dead may have surrounded them but inside that tiny office they had privacy. Privacy for anything they wanted and what Valentine wanted more than anything in that very moment, was Daryl.

The man claimed her wanton mouth instantly, his soft lips and rough whisker covered chin making her moan deeply. The sound was smothered by Daryl's devouring mouth, his tongue thoroughly sampling her. He pressed her into the wall, his wide frame boxing her in, consuming her. It felt nothing like being trapped though, it was relieving. She felt reassured that Daryl would protect her from the horrors outside. That his broad back would shield her and his large hands would keep her safe despite her ability to care for herself.

"Dare," she whimpered as his hand gripped her waist and he pressed his hips into hers. She heard his crossbow slid to the floor and felt his other hand graze her ribs, breast and neck before raking into her hair. He fisted Valentine's blonde locks and tilted her head the direction he wanted, before his lips, tongue and teeth devoured her. The dangerous world outside their little bubble no longer existed. All Valentine could feel, taste, smell and think was Daryl. His mouth and hands, his rocking hips and desperate growls.

Shifting her stance, Valentine hiked her leg up on his hip allowing him to grind between her legs.

"Fuckin' hell darlin'." He groaned after one long rolling thrust against the seam of her jeans. She bit her lips bloody holding back the husky moans. Rocking her hips again she felt his body vibrating with tension.

"Wanna touch ya." He drawled hoarsely, his hand gripping her ass while rutting into between her legs. Valentine nodded, her hands clutching to his arms and waist. She felt his hands unbuckled her belt and pants before yanking them open. Daryl's hands were shaking and his breathe coming in frantic pants. He seemed either overwhelmed or nervous which made her smile at the sweetness of such a rough man. Valentine moved her hand to his face and caught his eyes, "it's just me."

Daryl's forehead pressed against hers, his chest rising and falling raggedly. " t's why m'nervous."

Smiling softly she teased, "well…get over it. I'm dyin' over here."

Chuckling quietly, Daryl pushed her pants down allowing him room to slide his hand between her thighs, his fingers trailing through the silky lips. A muffled groan resonated against her neck as Daryl's teeth sunk into her skin, her own throat expelling a string of curse words. Every inch of her body sparked alive, a strange electricity shooting through her whole vibrating frame, curling her toes. She felt his whole body convulse as he stroked her, a feral growl clawing its way out of his chest.

"Fuck. So… wet." He groaned hotly into her ear, "Darlin, that for me?"

"Yes." She gasped, her fingers clawing into his arms and leather vest. Valentine was barely holding herself upright, the sensation of Daryl's fingers as well as his thick southern drawl gruffly spoken into her ear, had the woman on the cusp already. She couldn't help but beg him for more. "Please.. Dare. Inside me." She stammered. "P-please."

Daryl's thick fingers slid instantly down her saturated skin and pumped his middle finger inside, then added a second. Their ragged breathing and her thundering heartbeat, which was deafeningly loud in her ears, was all Valentine could hear. Time stopped and stretched like a rubber band. His hand working her over while his mouth moved along her neck and jaw. Daryl was panting as if running a mile, his breath catching in his throat every time she moaned his name.

A tightening of her stomach and flex of her wet walls made them both aware of her impending orgasm. Valentine began rolling her hips, her pussy grinding into the palm of Daryl's hand while his thumb brushed back and forth across her clit.

"That's it sweetheart." He rasped hoarsely, his voice sound rough like gravel yet smooth like honey. He teased her while sucking her ear lobe into his hot mouth. "Cum on me girl."

The tension snapped and her body arched at such a severe degree Daryl had to support her from collapsing. Heat rolled through her body and she felt her skin flush with sparking heat. She gasped desperately for oxygen but couldn't catch it. Daryl's arm wrapped around her waist pinning her to him while he cupped her jaw rasping into her ear, "Breathe Darlin. Slow."

After a few shuddering breathes she pressed her forehead into his neck and whispered, "Think ya broke me." Daryl snorted in amusement, muttering, "Stop."

"It's true. Forgot how to breathe." She answered, her hands tugging up her fallen pants.

"Shuddup." He grumbled but hid a cocky grin from her. "Ya ok?"

Valentine laughed quietly, nodding into his chest while her hands stroked down his ribs to his waistline. She dragged her thumb across the edge of his too loose jeans, dipping under the frayed denim. Daryl choked on her name as he gasped at the sensation of her skin tracing his warm stomach muscles.

"V-Val." He moaned as she curled her fingers inside, fisting the fabric and yanking him against her. "Wanna touch you too." She murmured, her thumb sliding to the zipper tab. Moving her hands to his hips she spun them around to give him the wall to lean on. Working quickly before he protest, Valentine unbuckled his pants and slid a hand inside. She moaned at the feel of his hard body cloaked in soft skin. Daryl breathing was getting more ragged as she worked her hand up and down, pumping his hardon with firm fingers. Moving slow and methodical she swiped her palm over the wet head, using his own fluid to ease the strokes. A deep moan vibrated through his whole body as his legs just about buckled. Valentine pressed her body into his while her hand kept up a smooth pace, her hand loosening and tightening with every thrust. Daryl's hips rocked with her while his hands gripped her hip and neck. She felt words muttered hotly into her neck but couldn't understand many other than 'fuck and goddamn'.

"That's it's Dare." She murmured as his body's tension ratcheted up with ever twist of her wrist. "Feel good baby?"

It was as if she flipped a switch inside the man because the moment the words left her lips his body convulsed violently, a feral growl ripping out of him. She felt his teeth sink into her shoulder, the pain making her wince but also smirk coyly. Stroking him through the intense orgasm, she felt his cum coating her hand, arm and shirt. Looking up at his hooded eyes she could see an overwhelming emotion filling them but wasn't sure what it was. Raising her hand to her mouth while keeping eye contact she made a long swipe with her tongue, his taste filling her mouth. Daryl moaned, his head thrown back at the sight, "Jesus fucking Christ girl."

Chuckling she pulled out a clean bandana and wiped herself clean before tending to him. Daryl was still out of it as she gentle toweled him off and zipped his pants back up.

"You ok." She inquired looking up at his striking blue eyes. Nodding slowly he slurred, "Never better." Laughing softly she titled her head up, propping her chin on his chest and whispered, "me too."

Smirking at her, Daryl's large palm combed the hair out of her eyes before sinking into it. He cupped the back of her head while bending down to kiss her deeply. It was leisurely drawn out, a slow and relaxed kiss shared between lovers. Valentine's heart raced as a familiar feeling settled into her chest. A pleasant yet still overwhelming ache at the thought of the man in front of her. A longing and desire tinged with fear and guilt.

Squeezing her eyes shut she stuffed it down for later. That feeling and those thoughts should be analyzed while she was alone. Nothing good would come of her openly thinking about such things around Daryl. He could see straight through her and would most likely know as soon as she opened her eyes.

"Ya aright?" he rasped quietly, "Did I.."

"No. I'm fine." she answered touching his chin and jaw with her fingers, "You did nothin' wrong."

"Sure?" he asked, his teeth chewing his cheek nervously. Valentine nodded, "Absolutely."

* * *

The sun was peeking out over the horizon when Daryl led their way outside. The walkers that had made it into the building were rounded up on a floor they easily avoided. Exiting down a fire escape and into the large shipping yard the pair headed towards the white water tower. Using hand signals the couple maneuvered around a group of undead and into the woods. They kept their feet fast and quiet while slinking along a wall of burnt brick.

Daryl peered around the corner and whispered, "All clear."

Valentine jogged across a tiny dirt road and found the entry to the clearing around the water tower. In the center stood the large structure, its tiny wire fencing trampled by the dead who gathered at the bottom. Near the top sitting on the small platform sat Beth and Noah. Valentine whispered, "Sneak up and take em out?"

Daryl grunted, pulling out a spare bolt to clench in his mouth while loading another. The pair moved fast, Valentine running up to slice through three dead men while Daryl released two bolts before using his knife to puncture skulls. A few minutes of dodging hands and gnarling mouths the woods fell quiet except for Valentine and Daryl's huffing breathes.

"Thanks." Beth quipped from above, her boots leading her down the ladder. "Got surrounded last night."

"Ya a'right?" Daryl asked as the blonde bounced to the ground with a grunt.

"Never better." She responded making Valentine's cheeks burn remembering Daryl saying the same thing the night before in a far more relaxed state. Her eyes locked with Daryl's, who concealed a cocky grin with his hand and drawled, "Yeah us too."


	30. Chapter 30

Daryl pulled the truck to a stop a mile away from their destination. It hadn't been an easy choice, Valentine and he both tried to talk Beth out of it but she insisted they return to their former home. She wanted to find the others more than anything and the idea that some may be dead, unburied and unmourned was too much for the teen. Having been outside the fences when the attack occurred, Valentine had no idea who went where and Daryl had as much knowledge as Beth. No one knew if Hershel made it out and onto the bus. He had been in sick bay tending to patients and the last Beth had seen was her father returning to help them pack up. She was determined to make sure her father and sister weren't left abandoned or worse yet wandering the woods with milky eyes.

Daryl understood but he also knew what happened to bodies left out in the woods. Should they find anyone they knew, it had been over a month since the prisons fall and what would be left would be unrecognizable at best. Walkers and animals were sure to have gotten to any bodies, not to mention the natural process of decomposition.

Valentine had warned her and tried to talk her out of it, stating Hershel and her sister wouldn't want her to see them like that but the girl wouldn't take no for an answer and threatened to leave on her own. So they headed home, or the closet thing they had all called home for too short a time.

"We hike from here." Daryl drawled from the tailgate of the truck and while pulling his pack out of the bed told Noah, "Hey kid. Grab the shovel."

The others flinched at the request, all seeming to realize what they may find when they arrived.

The group walked through the woods, Daryl's back was tense and shoulders curled as they approached the place he failed to keep safe. If he were honest, the main reason he didn't want to return was the fear of seeing more of their family dead and gone. If they never found their bodies he could fool himself into thinking they were out in the world surviving. Going back and possibly finding a body or even fucking worse the walking corpse of someone he had finally grown accustomed to, could crush him. He didn't even want to think about what it would do to Beth if they found Hershel or Maggie or what might happen if Valentine discovered Carl or Michonne in the rubble.

Putting a hand up to stop the group behind him, Daryl turned his head slightly, his narrowed eyes meeting Valentine's. He could see the tension in her slim frame and watched her give him a subtle dip of chin acknowledging his silent warning, his eyes begging her to be careful. Glancing at Beth he rasped, "ya sure ya wanna..."

"Yes." She snapped before clenching her eyes and fists. The girl was quiet for a moment before her watery yet determined eyes met Daryl's sidelong glance and she whispered, "I've got to do this Daryl, for Daddy and for Maggie."

Bobbing his head once he chewed his lip before warning, "Might be others there." He let his gaze slid to Valentine and back to Beth hoping they understood what might be found beyond the tree line. Valentine let out a slow breath and rolled her shoulders as if preparing for the worst. She nodded once and jutted her chin motioning for him to lead the way. Beth bobbed her head while wiping a stray tear. Having everyone's permission to continue, Daryl led the way to the cement building they once felt safe inside.

There were a few dead wandering in the trees, their rotting bodies thumping into trunks and tripping over roots. Valentine dispatched several as she slide alongside him. He watched her move easily over a fallen tree, her blade slicing into the face of a walker as she landed on the other side.

Daryl smirked at her as she flicked blood off her blade with a wrinkled nose. She glanced at him and cocked an eyebrow in question but he shrugged her off. He wasn't sure what his deal was but everything Valentine did now turned him on or made his stomach flip oddly. It was becoming distracting, especially when the image of her coming unglued under his hands repeatedly flickered through his tangled head every second, of every day. Shaking his head of the graphic daydream he finally found the old game trail he once travelled daily.

The smell of a long ago raging fire still clung to the area. The trees and soil having been coated in thick smoke had soaked up the acrid burning rubber odor. The pine needles were burnt and the tree bark sooty. Daryl wove through the trampled undergrowth, the herd having torn through the area with vigor. He spotted the sharp point of a guard tower sticking up through the tree canopy and slowly the shadowed structure came into view.

It's once secure fences, trampled flat and twisted into sharp knots. The charred grasses were spotted with dead bodies and stomped flat by wandering corpses. Abandoned vehicles sat parked at various parts of the yard, all covered in bullet holes. He could see the giant hulk of metal at the top of the incline, the tank that destroyed their home. The army tan now black from fire, the giant treads surrounded by blackened bodies.

He led them across the road, his destination only a dozen feet away. It was the one place he had to see before anything else. Daryl stalked forward and came to a stop near the bumper of a SUV. The ground was stained deep brown and black, the grass a strange mix of crimson and green. He glared at the spot Valentine had been mutilated and almost killed. The place he abandoned her. The exact spot he had failed her. She almost died and he ran away leaving her bleeding to death under a car surrounded by monsters. Daryl knew he didn't deserve her and looking down at the dark stain and the still visible rutted path she clawed to escape cemented it in his chest.

The brush of Valentine's arm against his bleach white knuckles jolted him out of the downward spiral he had begun to plummet in. She stepped up next to him and looked down, her eyes meeting his momentarily before glancing away. He could only guess she saw the torture going on in his head. The guilt that was weighing the man down like a ship's anchor and it seemed liked nothing and no one could pull him above water until a hand slid into his. Valentine's warm palm squeezed his, her eyes catching his fallen gaze and whispered, "It wasn't your fault and I'm here now."

Swallowing past the giant lump he rasped, "still got hurt."

"And I'm better. Now come on, no reason to do this to yourself." She responded before pulling on his hand. "We're attracting the locals."

Daryl flicked his narrowed eyes at the yard to see several walkers headed their way. She was right, he needed to get his head out of his ass and start thinking straight. Raising his bow, Daryl let a bolt fly to the nearest corpse. The body fell into a tangle of barbwire, tripping up the next few. The next half hour was spent killing the walkers in the yard while looking for familiar faces.

The upper courtyard was littered with bodies, both strangers and people they once lived with. Most were former Woodbury residents, people Daryl had fed and clothed but never spoken too.

The thick concrete walls were now crumbling, the tank's giant shells having punched through it like wet tissue paper. The resulting fire had furthered the destruction, the barriers now crumbling to dust. Metal support beams and iron bars stuck out at jagged angles, black with ash.

"We goin' inside?" Valentine asked while pulling her bandana up over her nose, the smell of rotting flesh and burnt rubber making her grimace. Daryl glanced at Beth who was staring at the giant hole busted through the sick bay door. It was the last place they saw Hershel and it was obvious the girl needed to look.

"We go in if we can, ain't dyin' for it a'right?" He spoke to them all before making sure Beth agreed. The blonde nodded, whispering, "I just gotta know."

Moving through the rubble Daryl climbed the stairs into the cellblock, the metal door hanging open. Inside he could hear a few dead groaning, the smell of burnt flesh and rot hitting him like a fist to the gut as they stepped inside. His eyes burned at the residual smoke and the smothering spoiled meat scent.

Signaling Valentine to take the left, Daryl steered right and followed by the teens. They moved down the darkened cell aisles and killed the walkers they came upon. Thick chunks of wall had been knocked inside, crushing cells and bending iron bars. Daryl came upon a giant lump of bent rebar and crumbling cement, a groaning echoing from underneath. Slipping around the debris Daryl spotted a pair of legs sticking out the edge of concrete. Glancing at Valentine he ticked his chin to the crush shins, one smeared the dried black blood, the other broken and bent pieces of plastic and metal. The familiar prosthetic attached to the man he'd grown to see as a father figure had Daryl grinding his teeth angrily. Hershel lay somewhere before him, dead and turned. Abandonded.

"Shit." He hissed, swallowing back the anxiety of seeing the last thing they had ever wanted to see. One of their own, left for dead and turned.

Beth was a few feet behind them, her tone hesitant, "What is it?"

"Stay there Greene." He ordered, his light tread taking him along the edge of the fallen wall to kneel beside the small gap between the floor. As he peered inside he saw the gray beard and eventually the milky eyes of Hershel Greene looking back at him. His face had been pressed between the floor and the bent rebar, blood pooled, smeared and dried underneath him. His jaws snapped shut, a guttural growl vibrating from his crushed chest.

"Daryl?!" Beth exclaimed, "is it?"

His pleading eyes flit to Valentine who dropped her chin to her chest, then turned back to the girl.

"M'sorry Beth." She rasped, thickly, her emotions bubbling up. The young blonde collapsed to her knees, her hands gripping her knife and flashlight tightly. Daryl could hear her stuttered breath, a fast paced pattern that was edging to hyperventilating.

"Beth." Noah murmured from her side, "breath Beth."

The girl shrugged him off and began scrambling over the wall to get to the narrow opening leading to her deceased father. Valentine caught her as she tumbled over the rough cement, her breathing erratic and eyes wide.

"Daddy?! Daddy I'm here." She exclaimed, her tone becoming hysteric. "D-Daddy!"

Daryl heard other corpses headed their way, the sounds getting them rowdy with hunger. He shushed the girl harshly his bow raised at the incoming sounds. Valentine clutched the girl to her chest as she tried to crawl under the wreckage to get to her dad.

"You can't. Beth. Beth... You can't." She repeated while yanking the girl away. The dead arrived, their snarls becoming wild as they saw the various meals in front of them. They began clawing their way up the debris, their nails scratching at the burnt cement.

"Val, c'mon we gotta go." Daryl ordered, his hand reaching under the debris to do the only thing possible for the man he called family. He plunged his blade into Hershel's temple, the snarls stopping beneath the fallen wall. Beth screeched at the sight, her hands clawing at Valentine to get away.

They backed up and out of the cellblock, Daryl shoving his blade into the incoming herd. Valentine was dragging Beth by her arm as she struggled to go back to Hershel. Noah was smashing his machete into walkers while shoving the bodies into their followers.

Bursting into the pitch dark corridor that led to the tombs had Daryl's eyes jumping frantically. There was no telling how many dead had entered the prison's breached walls and if it were anything like when they took the prison it could be dozens upon dozens.

"Stay close." He barked, clicking on a tiny flashlight to lead the group around the tunnels to find the adjoining cellblock. They moved quickly, walkers jumping out at every corner it seemed. Valentine was panting, her blade swinging out to take on threats while still dragging Beth along. The upset girl was still unable to defend herself while drowning in grief.

"Lil' more." He hollered, "this way, this way." He jogged along the dark walls, his eyes narrowed and flitting around their surroundings. "There." He barked his chin ticking to the upcoming gate. Passing through the gaping entry, Daryl slammed it shut to stop the horde following them, tying it with a piece of torn sheet. The dead slammed into it forcefully, their hands stretching through at the group. Valentine breathed, "Dare."

Daryl's eyes turned to the woman to see her hand pointing at the opposite side of the cellblock. At some point several corpses had entered the families cellblock, the groans reaching them.

"Fuck." He grunted tiredly in return before scoping out the threats. A few shuffled towards them while a couple others crawled, their legs dragging uselessly behind them. Valentine went to work while Noah held a crying a Beth. When the area was cleared they realized they were now alone and let out a collect sigh of relief. Valentine sat down heavily, drinking from her too low water bottle.

"Let's raid cells for supplies and get outta here." She spoke hoarsely, "place isn't safe anymore."

"A'right." Daryl responded, "Beth ya gotta help."

She turned to look at him but then returned to staring at her father's empty cell, the curtain yanked from its doors, smeared with blood. Daryl sighed and left her alone to search for supplies.

* * *

Valentine knew they wouldn't find anything pleasant at the prison. It was just asking to be disappointed going back to the scene of a massacre. Nothing good could come of it but there they were, surrounded by the ghosts of the dead and the walking corpses of their family. She felt for the young girl, seeing a loved one dead and gone was difficult to handle, not to mention becoming a biter.

They gathered all the supplies they could carry and then preceded to exit through the cellblocks metal door. It led into the courtyard that may or may not be filled with undead, leaving the group anxiously pausing at the exit.

"Stay tight. Move fast." Daryl instructed calmly before adding, "we head to those houses west of here."

Valentine nodded and glanced at Beth whispering, "you good to watch my back Beth?"

The red-eyed girl looked up and straightened her shoulders, nodding once with a new visible strength. With another head bob Valentine tilted her chin to the door, "Let's get the hell outta here."

Daryl shouldered the door open with an obnoxious screech, the metal bent from a tank round. The noise alerted the wandering corpses in the field, their clouded eyes all turning their direction.

"Move fast." Daryl grunted, his bow letting loose it's first of many bolts. Valentine ran next to him taking out the closer targets, her good arm slicing while her weaker limb pulled Daryl's bolts free from the fallen dead. Handing them off as she ran, the two worked in unison, both helping the other smoothly.

Valentine glanced back to see Noah beating a large male walker while Beth plunged her knife into the skull of a sneaking corpse. The kid noticing her save him as the body fell to the blood covered ground. The group ran for tree cover, their feet pounding the ash-covered dirt while running to possible shelter.

Night was coming fast, their visit inside taking longer than expected. Daryl motioned to follow his lead, the group sliding through a huge hedge of trees. As they passed through they found the fenced backyards of a small suburb. "We stay here tonight. Head back to the car tomorrah mornin'."

The man picked the closest house and cleared the perimeter with Valentine while the others stood lookout. Valentine watched him work seamlessly, his body poised for anything to come their way. He kept his eyes narrowed and calculating, his finger resting against the trigger. She knew there would be no hesitation if he came upon a threat and it relieved her more than she could put into words.

"Clear." He rasped after searching the last bedroom. "Let's get 'em settled."

* * *

Valentine and Noah took first watch while Daryl and Beth took second. The girl cried herself to sleep but was now resting quietly. Daryl wanted to keep and eye on the girl so had opted to take watch with her for a while. Sitting in a window seat near the front of the house, Valentine peered through a crack in the shutters. Her tired eyes were scanning the yard and surrounding streets. The moon was nothing but a sliver and provided her with almost no visibility. Hoping the night went uneventful she settled in for a long evening.

After a few hours she got restless and pulled out the small item from her pocket. Valentine had retrieved a few personal items of the group when in their cellblock. In Michonne's cell she found her extra blade, a slim knife with a smooth walnut handle. Inside the dark wood was pale ivory inlays, a twirling serpent body of a dragon. It was a gorgeous piece, which she found on a run with Michonne. Valentine had given it to her as a belated birthday present.

In Rick and Carl's cell she found a picture of their family, Lori included. She removed it from the frame and tucked it into her back pocket for safekeeping. There was still hope in her chest that they would find them again.

The item she twirled in her hand though was Judith's teething ring. The small pink rubber ring had becoming a permanent fixture in the almost toddler's mouth. Daryl had found it at a big box store they searched. Valentine saw it in her crib and couldn't help but pick it up. Flipping it over in her hand she spoke a silent prayer 'Please please be with your daddy, little girl.'

A sound behind her had the woman shoving the item into her pocket anxiously, her eyes jumping to the source. Daryl sauntered out of the thick shadows and approached silently. After a few seconds of peering out the cracked shutters he rasped, "Anythin'"

"Nope. Real quiet from what I can see."

Daryl grunted, his thumb gnawed on between his teeth. She could see the stress of the day still weighing him down, his back ridged and his eyes crinkled.

"You ok?"

He grunted, rolling one shoulder lazily. "Gotta be."

Valentine shook her head gently and whispered, "No you don't, Daryl. Not with me."

The man flit his eyes to her briefly before returning to the window, his lip rolling roughly between his teeth. After a moment she figured he wasn't going to speak and stood up to leave. Daryl's hand shot out and caught her wrist, tugging her closer. She stepped into his chest, her nose brushing across his sternum while inhaling deeply. Releasing a sigh at the feeling of peace at being so close she slumped against him. His hands came up to cup her elbows, his thumbs stroking her skin softly.

"Tough day s'all." He murmured hoarsely. "Been awhile since I had t'put someone down I knew."

Valentine bit her lip feeling guilty for not even thinking how hard that must have been to put Hershel down. "M'sorry Daryl. I didn't even…"

"S' a'right."

They were silent for a moment, Daryl's hands sliding to her hips and waist, the warmth soaking through her shirt. She nuzzled into his chest as he watched the outside through the dark windows. "Go get some rest darlin'." He murmured against her head while sinking his nose into her hair. She felt him rub his face against her and suck in a deep breath, his soft exhale tickling her scalp. Daryl dipped his head, his mouth cupping her's softly at first. Rather quickly though the kiss turned desperate, his tongue plunging into her mouth desperately. Valentine fisted his hair, her teeth biting his lip while sucking on it. The man groaned loudly his body suddenly pinning her to the wall next to the window. She felt his hands move to her ass, the large palms gripping it tightly. Growling, she rolled her hips against him, her movement causing the man to throw his head back in pleasure.

"Val." He gasped, his hands stroking along her hips and waist, fingers sliding under her shirt, "gotta stop."

Valentine sucked in a few jagged breaths and nodded while panting, "Ok. Ok…. Wake me if anything happens?"

"A'right." He replied still slightly breathless, turning her around and guiding her to the bedroom with a playful shove. "Go on git before ya distract me 'gain.."

Valentine chuckled and murmured, "Night, night baby."

"Stop." He rasped with an eye roll, his ability to tolerate pet names was pretty low when not in the heat of the moment. She waved with a teasing smile before entering the guest bedroom and collapsing into bed.

* * *

Daryl watched Beth take over Noah's spot at the back of the house, her slim frame poised on the kitchen cabinets. She glanced at him and gave him a head bob for a greeting before turning back to stare into the darkness.

He wasn't sure how to handle a teen grieving the death of her father. The man he had stabbed in the head with his hunting knife just hours ago. Daryl didn't feel guilt for doing it, it had to be done and he was glad he got to do it instead of some stranger but it still hurt. Hershel was a good man, the best kind of man and he deserved more than to die alone in a cement tomb. He wished he could have given the older man a proper burial but it wasn't meant to be. At least he was at rest now and not a writhing corpse underneath rubble.

Shaking those thoughts from his head, Daryl tried to think of something more pleasant. His mind went straight to Valentine of course because like always the woman was running around his head. He pictured what she looked like perched in the window, her back to him. Valentine's lithe frame hung in the sill gracefully, her back straight and shoulders curved. He watched for a moment as the moon had sliced through the cracked shutters, the too pale light illuminating the soft shape of her cheek. His chest had clenched at the sight. 'Fuckin' beautiful.' He thought with such awe.

Valentine had been fiddling with something in her hands and had hid it at his approach. Daryl hadn't mentioned it figuring if it was something she wanted him to see then she would show him.

He couldn't help but feel his pulse quicken at the thought of her mouth and hands on him just a short time ago. The way her tongue slid against his so smoothly and the taste of her sweet mouth in his. Being physical with Valentine was addictive and Daryl could see them heading down a dangerous path. He wanted her, wanted her under him and over him, wrapped up in his arms. It was dangerous because without having even been inside the woman he was intoxicated. She was a siren and he couldn't stop following her call. It could be distracting and despite knowing all of the troubles that could follow, he couldn't help it. Daryl wouldn't, no he couldn't stop what they had started for anyone or anything. He'd fallen hard for the woman and all he could hope for now was that she was plummeting right along with him.

"Daryl." Beth's voice cut through the silence like a knife, his eyes jumping to her's instantly.

"Huh?" he grunted, partially turning to see if there was something moving in the backyard. Beth held a hand up and whispered, "Nothin's wrong I just…"

Waiting for her to continue Daryl began chewing on his thumb impatiently. He wasn't sure what the girl wanted to say but knew it had to do with her father. Daryl hoped she wasn't going to cry because he wasn't too sure he could stand to watch the poor girl breakdown again.

"I just wanted to say," she trailed off before finishing with more strength in her voice, "Thank you for today… For putting him to rest."

Daryl grunted, rolling his shoulder to shrug off the awkwardness of accepting her words. "S'nothin'." He rasped, his eyes flitting to her momentarily before moving away. He could see her shaking her head out of the corner of his eye and she spoke with even more conviction, "It was something Daryl. You did what I couldn't."

"Didn' bury 'im." He growled, "Shoulda done more."

"You did the best we could do for him. So… thanks." She finished and then hastily added, "Don't fight me on this Daryl."

He grunted noncommittally and turned back to the window. He let the conversation die for a while before he rasped over his shoulder, "He'd be proud of ya."

Beth's head shot towards him and he heard her choke on a sob, her hands covered her mouth for a few seconds as she swallowed down the emotions. "M'not like Maggie. I'm not.." she spoke hoarsely.

"No you're not Maggie. You're Beth and he'd be damn proud of ya." Daryl drawled, "Don't fight me on this _Beth."_

She gave him a wry smile for throwing her words back at her and nodded, "A'right. A'right." Daryl smirked at her and went back to watching the perimeter.

* * *

A few days later they had to abandon their now broken down vehicle, choosing to hike through the woods alongside the train tracks. Their position in the woods allowed them to plot a route from the well-worn map, while staying hidden. Walking in the open while surrounded by the unknown was dangerous and the main reason for the rougher terrain. Valentine was leading the group while Daryl took the rear. He hadn't been too pleased when she insisted but when she explained that her neck injury was now making turning her head difficult, he relented. The scar tissue had begun to tighten and the pulling of skin ached.

Valentine had to talk Daryl down from rage filled tantrum when he began blaming himself for it again. The man was his own worst enemy and she knew no matter what, Daryl would always be harder on himself than necessary. She wouldn't give up trying to shake some sense into him though.

"Hey what's that?" Beth's voice jolting Valentine out of her head, her eyes jumping around wildly. Her chest clenched at the idea of having let them down by missing something.

Finally Valentine saw what the girl's slim finger was pointing at. Along the rusted metal rails was a small building, weeds growing up wildly around it.

"Looks like a rail maintenance building or somethin," she murmured back to the blonde, her eyes jumping to Daryl for confirmation. He tipped his chin in agreement and rasped thickly, "Might have somethin'."

Nodding back Valentine lead them to the edge of the woods, her eyes scanning both directions as well as the trees beyond. After a few tense moments she had them cross the train tracks quickly, their steps light and feet fast. Once across they entered the thick evergreens and continued to the building while hidden. The group rounded the structure, Daryl's sharp eyes scanning their surroundings as Valentine inspected the entryways.

The windows had been boarded up a very long time ago, the splintered surface practically crumbling. Valentine peered through a crack and only saw pitch darkness. Tapping the butt of her machete handle on the fragile plank the group listened patiently and heard nothing but cicadas.

Sliding to the door, Valentine jammed her blade in the rotted door jam, popping the locking mechanism right out. The door creaked open, wafts of dust and cobs webs hit her in the face. Grumbling angrily she maneuvered her way inside, glancing around for threats. The room was a dump, the floor rotted and walls peeling. Without even bothering to search she backed them out with a wave of her hand.

"Nothin' here for us." She explained, "place is dangerous."

Daryl nodded and steered them back towards the woods. As they walked past a large white electrical panel box Beth's high pitch gasp caused Valentine to stumble in surprised. Looking back she saw graffiti written in mud, the jagged letters now dry and flaking.

_'Glenn go to Terminus, Maggie.'_

The slim blonde stared at it teary eyed, an obvious elation in her eyes but slowly her body coiled inward and jaw set tight. Valentine voiced her concern, murmuring, "Beth?"

"Just Glenn... She didn't look for me?"

An awkward silence stifled the group, Valentine shuffled her feet closer to Daryl. She wasn't sure how to handle that information because it was kind of fucked up for the older sister to not make mention of Beth.

"She didn't think I'd survive." The girl surmised with a low growl, her eyes narrowed at the words smeared on metal. Beth turned to Valentine, her eyes hurt but frame stronger and ground out through clenched teeth, "she doesn't know  _shit_."

Quirking her lips, Valentine reached out to pull Beth into a headlock like she used to do to Carl.

"She sure as shit doesn't, my little badass." she joked while messing up Beth's ponytail roughly. They stumbled away from the sign, Beth laughing while Valentine playfully tugged her along before finally releasing her. The tension was broken thankfully but as soon as Beth stopped laughing she looked at Daryl and Valentine announcing, "We need to go to Terminus."

* * *


	31. Chapter 31

Daryl ground his molars while staring at the latest posted map of the so-called community for all. He remembered the last "sanctuary" vividly, as did Valentine. She wore the permanent scars both outside and inside and was just now overcoming some of that darkness. Dread had been creeping in ever since the first sign written in mud by Maggie's hand but now? Now they were mere minutes away and he was close to throwing up. He refused to let what happened in Negan's hellhole happen again. No one would lay a hand on Valentine. No one.

"Please tell me we aren't just walking inside." She whispered from his left, her eyes jumping to the others chatting down the rails.

"Sure as hell don't wanna." He drawled looking down at her with tense eyes. "Got any ideas?"

"We scope it out first. Circle and look for any patrols. Move closer once we clear it. Look for our people."

Daryl nodded, his eyes flicking to Beth silently expressing his other worry. Nodding she replied calmly, "she'll understand the caution. Grady taught her that."

It made him cringe but also relieved they didn't have to convince her to play it safe rather than charging in headfirst. Deciding to get it over with, the group headed into the woods, their path a narrow circuit around the perimeter.

The woods were deathly quiet, not a scurry of animal or shuffling of dead. It was eerie atmosphere that made the hair on the back of Daryl's neck stand on end. One glance at Valentine confirmed the feeling was mutual.

The smell hit them as they neared the structure, flashbacks of the destroyed penitentiary making his shoulders square. Rotting dead and charred wood, the bitter taste of melted plastic stuck to the roof of his mouth. Valentine caught his eyes with a worried gaze and murmured low enough for only his ears, "Another graveyard?"

Grunting in reply he then rasped, "stay close."

The trees dropped away and the foursome laid eyes upon the resulting wreckage of some kind of downfall. The fences were partially collapsed, bent at jagged angles and tangled with dead bodies. The brick structures were burnt to the ground while the walking dead shambled over the ruins. He heard Beth let out a stuttered breath, her whole frame tightly coiled. It was disconcerting to all of them to know their family could very well have escaped one tragedy only to fall into another.

"What do you think happened?" Noah asked from her side, his wide eyes taking in the destruction a few dozen yards away. Valentine hummed lowly, her shoulders rolling. "Same thing as always, the dead and the living destroyed shit." She muttered before moving further around the rubble.

Daryl caught up, his troubled eyes watching as she seemed to vibrate with tension. The woman was otherwise a blank slate, her face placid as she scanned the area for threats but he could see the anxiety.

Daryl led them closer, the group moving single file along the still standing fence line. They jogged past rusted train cars and burnt structures. The ground was covered in dead bodies, some obvious walkers cut down, others not so much. Trailing along the bent chainlink they got a view of the interior, a courtyard now crawling with walkers and fallen debris. It was so familiar Daryl felt like they had just returned to the prison.

"Déjà vu. " Noah broke the silence as they watched the walkers stumble over broken brick and fallen bodies. "Should we go in?" The kid asked as everyone else stared in silence.

Valentine grunted instantly, "No."

"But." Beth spoke up only to be cut off by Daryl, "Prison was one thing, we knew our way around. That place is a death trap Greene. Ain't happenin'."

The girl sighed, her hands gripping the metal fence tightly, her knuckles white. Valentine bumped shoulders with her and suggested, "We'll search the area, if they were here… they got out."

"How do you know?"

"I just do." She responded while wandering further along the fence, eyes squinting at something within. Daryl watched her pull the binoculars out and scan quickly. He noticed Valentine saw what caught her eye instantly when her spine turned into rebar, her shoulders squared sharply.

Valentine's eyes caught his as she hid her reaction from the others. His eyebrow twitched in question and her head shook slightly in return. She wasn't going to tell him with Beth or Noah nearby.

"Let's go. It's over run." She spoke even and motioned for their companions to lead the way. Daryl paced himself next to her and waited for the teens to increase the distance. Her voice caught his ear, the cadence low and tense, "saw bodies... Parts of them anyways."

Daryl's eyes widened and he asked, "parts?"

"Huge pile of burnt bodies, most didn't seem to be whole."

"Coulda fallen apart."

"Maybe... Either way the pile was the size of a house."

Daryl swallowed thickly, his chin dropping to his chest. If their family had walked into another trap they could very well be dead. There was no way to know. It seemed to Daryl that life was always two steps forward, ten steps back now.

* * *

Valentine glared at the passing dirt below her feet, the group heading away from yet another disappointment. Terminus lived up to its name, it was nothing but a dead end. They hiked through the thick woods, an occasional walker giving the group something to do other than stew with frustration.

'Can't anything work out?' Valentine thought with a frown while stepping over the rails and into the woods.

Daryl was leading while, Noah took the rear, her neck still bothering her much to her irritation. The new plan was shelter for the evening and recouping for a few days. After that she had no idea, the group's morale was hitting a new low, making a plan hard to obtain. Valentine had seen both Beth and Daryl being crushed by the sight of the burned down complex. She was neither surprised nor upset about not making it in time. The pile of corpses, bodies that she knew had been dismembered, had her thankful for missing whatever happened. As bad as it was to think not being there for family, Valentine was happy their little group wasn't involved. They'd been through too much already.

"There." Daryl rasped from in the front, his scruffy chin tilting towards the shadowed structure ahead. The home was surrounded by a waist high picket fence, the large porch completely screened in. With windows framed with usable shudders and what looked like a tiny vegetable garden the group head quickly towards it. Circling and clearing the property of the dead, Beth went to work on the garden, her greedy hands finding some over ripe tomatoes and long forgotten squash. They'd have actual uncanned produce for dinner, which made Valentine's mouth water.

Daryl had her help him clear the home, the basement holding two well aged walkers. The two bodies providing no fight whatsoever. Noah scavenged the kitchen while Valentine headed upstairs. The only sounds were of Daryl nailing the shutters closed and Noah pulling open drawers.

Sorting through the closets, Valentine piled up clothing for each of them and opened each plastic storage bin. Inside one she found a small revolver and a box of unopened ammo. Another box contained a bag of very dry weed and a tiny glass pipe. Smirking at the tiny secrets it seemed everyone had, Valentine placed it back inside the closet. She hadn't smoked since her teens and sure as hell wasn't starting now that awareness of one's surroundings meant life or death.

Moving into the bathroom Valentine stacked bandages and bottles of over the counter medicine in the plastic box containing the gun. Opening the medicine cabinet she took the toothpaste and dental floss as well as a pair of scissors, a pack of sewing needles. The floss and needles would work in a pinch if someone needed stitches. Her last worthwhile find was a box of Mike 'n Ike's hidden in the nightstand, making her smile softly. Grape had always been her son, Michael's favorite.

Meeting the others in the living room she dropped the huge pile of clothing on the couch while placing the box of supplies on the table. She handed the revolver to Daryl, his large hands popping the small cylinder open, spinning it to check for defects. He quirked his lips and drawled, "Sucker's brand new." Setting it down he reached out to shuffle through the box of other items, his head nodding in appreciation. "Not bad."

Beth got the fireplace going, her body crouched next to it with a pot of boiling water. Speaking over her shoulder she said, "Gonna boil water and then cook up those tomatoes since they're too ripe. Found some pasta in the kitchen, Gonna have spaghetti."

Valentine had never seen Daryl's eyes so big, his mouth opening as if about to say something or drool. She cocked an eyebrow and he blushed, shaking his head as if begging her to not mention it.

"What?" She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. The man shuffled slightly, his thumb between his teeth before he mumbled, " t's my favorite."

Valentine's grin was blinding and when she met Beth's eyes, they burst into laughter. Daryl looked completely offended, his eyes narrowing into a fiery glare. Trying to put him at ease, she smothered the giggles and cleared her throat, "M'sorry, M'sorry it's just..." She choked on a giggle and shook her head to dispel the giddiness. "It's just I totally thought something more obscure, like possum would be your favorite."

Daryl snorted and drawled, "ain't like I ate squirrel every damn day before the world ended, mostly ate fast food n shit. Barely had time t'hunt while bailin' Merle outta one shit storm after 'nother."

Valentine nodded chiming in, "My favorite was breakfast food. Anything related to breakfast is amazing."

Daryl smirked and glanced at Beth waiting for her's, "Pizza. Definitely pizza... No cake  _and_  pie, no peach cobbler."

Valentine laughed lightly at the girls laundry list of missed foods and raised an eyebrow at Noah who smirked, "My mom's meatloaf."

Everyone laughed and he defended his claim of it being the best meatloaf in the state.

"Meat loaf, man?" Daryl drawled, shaking his head in disgust from his spot on the living room floor, his bow in parts as he cleaned and oiled it. "Thats just gross."

* * *

Valentine was lying on the soft mattress in one of the two bedrooms. Daryl was on watch but soon to be relieved by Beth. She couldn't seem to fall asleep while she waited, her mind replaying everything the last few days. They didn't have much of a plan now that their first lead turned out to be a dead end.

The door squeaked open, Daryl's large frame sliding inside the bedroom. She watched him in the dim light prop his bow against the nightstand before pulling off his jacket and vest. He lay down on top of the covers, his boots still on and ready to run.

"Hey." She whispered, "Go alright?"

"Mm." He grunted, rolling on his side to see her. "should be sleepin'."

"Couldn't." Valentine replied with shrug, "head won't shut up."

Daryl hummed again, his hand sliding across the tiny gap between them, his thumb brushing across her forearm softly. She smiled at him, the room just light enough to see his hooded eyes and the curl of one side of his lips. He was so damn handsome, even more so because of his obliviousness to it.

"C'mere." He rasped roughly, his chin motioning her closer. Valentine scooted across the cool sheets and nudged his nose with hers playfully. He chuckled lowly and reached to grip her waist, pulling her even closer. She felt the warmth from his breath before the wet heat of his lips and tongue stroking her neck. A deep moan escaped her parted lips as his hands slide under her shirt. Rough fingertips traced the edge of her pants and followed the curve of her exposed hipbone.

"Fuck Dare." She gasped as he sucked the sensitive skin behind her ear, teeth scraping a tantalizing path down her neck.

"Yeah darlin'." Daryl spoke, his voice rough with lust. "Too much?"

"No." She moaned, his hands griping her tighter to his chest, "more."

Quicker than expected, Valentine was on her back while Daryl perched over her. His hands nervously slid up her stomach, her shirt pulling upwards with the movement. Almost too slowly he worked the fabric up and off while she arched her body off the mattress. She felt his eyes consuming her like the last scrap of food on earth, the heat of his gaze left a trail of goosebumps up her chest and a deep flush to coat her cheeks.

Daryl traced the center of her abdomen, two fingertips curled into the center of her bra, pulling at the obstructive fabric with a tiny grin. Valentine laughed quietly, digging under her back to unclasped the worn hooks. As soon as the offending material was loosened, Daryl stripped it off, tossing it aside. She watched him look at her with something close to awe, the shine in his eyes making her heart throb. Her breath sped up as he finally made a move, the rough texture of his hands tracing the deep scars on her ribs. A sudden realization that he was going to see everything had her flinching as Daryl followed the path it cut.

"Ya a'right?" He asked, his hand now hovering mere millimeters off her body. Nodding slowly she whispered, "Just... new."

His voice was quiet but adamant, "If it's too much we don't gotta."

"I wanna. Just go slow... Please."

Daryl nodded assuring her, "ain't doin' nothing ya don't want."

Slowly his warm palm cupped her breast, his thumb circling the rapidly hardening skin. Daryl's breathing sped up, the warm pants cooling her now sweaty skin. With every stroke of his hand Valentine's heart raced faster. Reaching out she began unbuttoning his shirt, the man hesitated for a moment before yanking the worn flannel off. Valentine knew he bore similar scars, she'd seen flashes of it while living together, it was hard not to. She was glad he wasn't going to try and hide them.

Her hands slid up his heated skin, the course hair on his chest tickling her palms. Soon her pants and underwear joined their other fallen clothing, the man over her still in jeans.

"Fuckin' beautiful ya know." He rasped, his bangs almost hiding the heat in his cheeks.

Valentine snorted, muttering, "Got low standards Dixon." She felt she was the furthest thing from beautiful, she was a scarred mess.

"Don't"

"Don't what?"

"Don't talk shit 'bout yourself."

Shrugging Valentine pulled at a loose thread on the blanket below her, mumbling, "I'm not beautiful anymore Daryl. I'm ok with it."

"M'serious. Don't. I don't wanna hear ya say shit like that. Those scars ain't you." He spoke firmly and when she looked away he repeated, "They ain't, Val."

Valentine chewed her lip but didn't respond, she wasn't convinced and probably never would be.

Choosing to change the subject, she nimbly unclasped his belt, the worn canvas frayed and unraveling. The button of his too loose pants popped easily open and a tantalizing happy trail was exposed. Licking her lip before biting it bleach white she breathed out, "Want you Daryl."

Within seconds he pounced forward, his mouth wetly engulfing hers, his explorative tongue sliding against hers. Hands gripped and clawed, fingers biting into flesh. Nothing was enough, nowhere was close enough.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He moaned as her hands sliding down the back of his pants to dig her nails into the warm muscles.

"You've got a really nice ass." She panted with a crooked smile. Daryl barked out a laugh and ducked his head into her neck, his cheeks feeling scalding hot. "Stop," he muttered hoarsely.

Her hands pulled him closer, the hard length of him rubbing her in the perfect spot. The pressure built and soon his hips were rolling in between her spread thighs. Deep moans and broken whimpers were released, hands holding onto anything close by. Valentine clutched to him, her blunt nails leaving crescent indentations and inflamed scratches. Daryl didn't seem to mind, his growls getting deeper and rougher. She moaned out, "More. Please, more."

Removing himself from her, Daryl dropped both his pants and boxers before returning instantly. He moaned at the sensation of her wet core against his hot skin, his hand raking back his messy hair to see her better.

"God. You're fuckin sexy." He rasped, his hands smoothing up her sides and stomach, his touch tender but firm.

Daryl slid along her, his body held above her on one elbow, his free hand stroking her side and then cupping her breast. A vibrating moan crawled out from of her, breathy and stuttered. The feeling of Daryl's incredibly warm skin against hers made stars burst behind her clenched eyelids.

'Jesus gonna cum by just feeling him,' she gasped inwardly, her hips jutting off the bed automatically searching for friction.

The heat between her legs skyrocketed as his cock slid wetly against her. "Ohmygod." She mumbled, her hips rising to meet his downward thrusts.

"Ya a'right?" He rasped hoarsely before adding, "wanna be inside ya Val."

"Please." She whined, her legs squeezing his hips, her mouth leaving opened mouth kisses along his neck and collarbone. Daryl didn't wait a moment further, his hand fisting his cock, stroking it while gliding downward to her entrance. The blazing sensation of him first pushing through her tight walls had Valentine without breath as a keening moan escaped her. An overwhelming sensation filled her chest, an emotion she hadn't felt in what seemed like a lifetime but Valentine refused to acknowledge it.

"Shit." Daryl cursed, "Ain't gonna last Val. Too goddamn good . Wet 'n fuckin' hot." His voice got rougher as he thrust further inside the fluttering walls.

Valentine began curling her hips upward, panting rapidly between her bitten red lips. Daryl rose to his knees, his hips still snapping into her soft thighs. With one hand holding himself up he curled the other arm under her lower back, pinning her body to him, as his thrusts became rough and deep. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pulled her into his lap, sitting on his heels. They rocked into each other, his cock buried as deep as he could go.

The sparks of a oncoming orgasm had Valentine muttering, "I'm... I'm gonna. Fuck Dare. Fuck."

"Cum for me Darlin'." He demanded, his hands kneading her ass while thrusting upwards into her spread thighs.

Daryl's mouth sucked her bottom lip, biting and pulling on it, the sensation pushing her over the edge. A gasping moan released from her mouth as she clutched and squeezed him. Daryl kept plunging in until a few strokes had him following her over the edge. Quickly he pulled out stroking himself against her sweaty skin, pulsing and throbbing onto her stomach.

"Jesusfuck." He growled as his cock twitched against her in spasms, his whole body shuddering violently in her arms.

A buzzing in her head had Valentine closing her eyes tightly as she caught her breath. Realizing she had been hyperventilating while cumming she took several long deep breathes.

"Ya ok?" He panted his hand smoothing her hair from her sweaty forehead. Nodding she rasped, "Just outta breath." She laughed quietly and kissed his lips tenderly. Teasing his mouth for a few moments before he laid her down, Daryl grabbed the corner of the sheet to clean her stomach. Blushing at the mess he made he mumbled, "Sorry."

"Don't be. Fuckin hot." She reassured him with a tiny grin.

He collapsed next to her, pulling her into his chest as he caught his breath. She was already dozing when his voice brought her eyes up to his. "Was it… a'right?"

Valentine snorted and kissed his lips softly, "more than."

"Hmm." He grunted, his lips twitching as he held back what she knew would've been a cocky grin. Poking him in the stomach she mumbled, "Don't get a big ego."

Daryl chuckled, his face nuzzling into her hair he murmured, "Felt good Val."

"Mmm you too." She murmured her words slurred from exhaustion. Valentine felt him stroking her hip and thigh, long smooth movements that had her sleeping instantly.

* * *

He woke to the sound of the early morning birds waking up, their chirps and calls slowly making him more aware of his surroundings.

Valentine lay in front of him, her back fully exposed. It was the first time he'd really seen it. In sanctuary he watched as a set of scars were actually inflicted but this was the first time he'd seen them up close. The sight was heart wrenching. The deep ruts and knotted tissue spread across the pale skin of her back. His eyes traced them, the sharp angles and curved swipes of a brutal tool. It made his jaw set and his eyes burn with angry tears. It was like something he'd never seen, even his brother's or his own back paled in comparison.

Daryl couldn't help but think the eerie wings were appropriate though. She had saved his life a few times and might as well be some kind of guardian angel. It seemed as if she were always in the right place at the right time in order to help Daryl or his family out.

Scooting his body closer he curled around her naked frame. Daryl's bare chest pressed against the warm skin of her back, his arm slung around her waist. He pulled her closer, his arm crossing her chest to hold her to him. The heat from her body started to soak into his, the scars feeling even hotter. The marks dug into her body felt like they were scorching him, burning their way into his own flesh. It felt as if he were absorbing the pain from Valentine, taking it on to help carry the load. Maybe he could help her shoulder the hurt from it and maybe by doing so they could both heal.

"Damn birds." Her thick and sleepy voice made him chuckle. Brushing his nose along her shoulder, the newly healed neck wound feeling smooth yet rippled. He knew when she realized her vulnerable position, her body stiffening and vibrating with tension.

"Shhh." He soothed her worries, "It's a'right."

Valentine rolled over just the same, her head tilting up to see his face. He could see the worry, the shame. It was like looking in a mirror.

"It's a'right." He repeated, his hand cupping her jaw while stroking her cheek. They kissed gently, her mouth parting as he explored with his twirling tongue. Stroking her thigh and hip, Daryl's large hand slid to her waist before encircling her. His palm spread flat between her shoulder blades, the ridged skin feeling foreign. He couldn't help but explore it, his hand stroking a long path downwards.

Valentine flinched almost violently as he reached the heavily scarred shoulder blades. She shook her head once and pulled back immediately, scooting away from him in bed. They were both surprised at her reaction and she started apologizing but Daryl held a hand up to silence her. "It's alright. You're a'right."

"I didn't... I haven't."

"It's ok. I know..." He paused and cleared his throat awkwardly before confessing, "I know bout scars.. and I know 'bout not want 'em touched."

Valentine glanced over his body seeing scars across his chest and a few on his sides.

There were a couple on his legs but nothing like hers. Daryl swallowed, his throat bobbing before he turned around. The sight of the giant darkened scar tissue marring his broad back had Valentine's breathe catching.

"Oh Dare." She gasped her hand almost touching before whispering, "can I?"

He grunted permission and tensed as he prepared himself for contact. A warmth started to soak into his ribs, before smoothing along the largest of scars. His muscles ticked but he held himself still, the need to show her she wasn't alone was the only thing keeping him from freaking out.

"You're dad?"

"Mostly." He replied thinking about a few that had been from accidents before and after the turn. Daryl glanced over his shoulder and drawled, "I won't touch ya there if ya don't want but ya don't gotta ever hide from me."

* * *

They sat in the living room sorting through the limited supplies they had collected, Daryl cataloging everything mentally. If they stuck around he could hunt up some protein, maybe even smoke any extra game to preserve it. He watched Valentine sharpen her blades, the sound soothing to him. They had spent the morning exploring each other again. He decided watching Valentine cum while buried inside her tight hot walls was his favorite sight in the world. It cracked something open deep inside his chest. A feeling he wasn't familiar with had overwhelmed him to the point of panic. He wasn't sure if he was ready to face it yet so Daryl pushed it to the back of his mind choosing to focus on the group's needs first.

"So what do we do now?" Beth asked through a mouthful of canned corn, Noah taking a spoonful when she passed it over. He looked at both Valentine and Daryl who stayed silent. "My family is north of here. We had a place with walls." He spoke when the others didn't, his eyes wide and nervous. Valentine glanced at Daryl and asked, "How far north?"

"Near Alexandria."

"As in Virginia?" Valentine gasped, "You know how far that is right?"

"Yeah." He spoke slowly his eyes flicking to Beth's who reached out and squeezed his hand. She looked at Daryl and Valentine stating, "I told him I would get him there."

"Beth!" Daryl snapped, "What the fuck. Are ya stupid?"

"Daryl." Valentine spoke up seeing the man close to spinning off into a rampage. They both knew traveling that far was dangerous on a good day.

"No Val. This is bullshit." He growled, "Ain't walkin' to fuckin' Virginia. Ya bes' jus' get that thought outta your dumbass heads."

Daryl paced away, his shoulders straight and back ridged. He couldn't believe it was something Valentine would even consider. Going north meant leaving the state, it meant heading towards the place she had finally escaped. Noah's eyes jumped from Daryl, to Valentine and then to Beth. The girl looked at Valentine with large doe eyes and whispered, "I promised."

"Beth…" Valentine trailed off and looked over at Daryl who glared at her.

"We ain't leavin'." Daryl barked before his voice turned almost brittle much to his dismay, "If we leave…"

Valentine knew what he was getting at without him completing the sentence. If they left the state how would they ever find the others? If they left, were they abandoning all hope of finding them? Were they giving up?

"But Daryl, they have walls." Beth spoke passionately, standing up and clenching her fists. "We could be safe there."

"What about your sister huh?" Daryl asked, his tone becoming confrontational, "What 'bout Rick 'n Judith? Michonne 'n Glenn? We just sayin' hell with 'em and walkin' off into the sunset just hopin' for walls that prolly ain't there no more?"

Beth sighed and her shoulders slumped, "After Terminus I just thought..."

"Just thought what, huh? " he shouted, his fists clenched. "Thought fuck 'em. Ya got ya'self a new boyfriend, who fuckin' needs 'em, right?"

Valentine stood up and put a hand on his chest, pushing him back slightly. Daryl looked down, his eyes fiery and mouth curled into a sneer.

"Let's take a breather." She suggested with a furrowed brow, her hands pushing him towards the front door. The man could have stood his ground, he had the weight advantage but instead let the woman move him to the front porch. They stood side by side for a moment, Daryl pulling out his crushed pack of cigarettes and dented lighter. His sucked a deep drag in and on his long smokey exhale he rasped, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Ya want to go don'tcha."

"No, not especially." She replied, plucking his cigarette out of his fingers and taking a drag. Blowing the white smoke to the side she handed it back and added, "Whole trip could be for nothin'. Who knows how long he's been gone and there's no tellin' what could be there waiting for us."

"So we stay?"

"I didn't say that."

"Well make up your damn mind woman." He barked, taking the last drag with angry eyes. Valentine rolled hers in reply and explained, "Well it's not like we've found any signs of them around here beside Terminus and that was.. well gone. It'll take us a different direction than we've been goin' at least. Maybe we'll run into them."

"You know us going north is us headin' towards Sanctuary again. That what ya want?" He asked angrily with a raised eyebrow. Valentine sighed and scrubbed her face roughly. "Of course I don't Daryl. You think that sounds like fun to me?"

"Sorry." He muttered, his hand sliding into her warm palm and squeezing.

"It's fine."

"No it ain't. I shouldna said that." He drawled, "Ya think we should stay or go?"

"No harm in heading that way and figuring it out. We can search for them while heading towards it."

Sighing deeply Daryl rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes catching her's. She cupped his jaw and murmured, "I'll go wherever you want Daryl. We're in this together. I trust you."

He curled an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his chest. Daryl still wasn't used to having people put so much faith in him. Valentine trusted him not only with her life but also with a life changing decision like hiking across a few states to an unforeseen future. Holding her for a few minutes he eventually sighed again, "A'right. Ain't got nowhere else t'be."

* * *


	32. Chapter 32

She smelled them before she saw them, a thick wall of acrid rotting flesh. Among the scattering of trees ahead were the clumsy bane of Valentine's existence. Everywhere they went the rotting dead were and it was getting tiring. The herd before them though was one of the biggest she'd ever seen, rows and rows of shambling corpses were headed their direction.

"Bes' get moving." Daryl drawled motioning for them to begin running the other way. The path steered them away from their intended direction. They had been traveling north for a few days now but the herd now directed them west.

The foursome jogged along a tiny game trail single file. Thick roots were exposed from the frequent summer rains, Valentine's feet slipped numerous times on wet mud. As they reached a steep incline she heard someone yelp out, a clattering of gear and limbs. Looking back she saw Noah on the ground, his hands and knees covered in mud from tripping face first into the forest floor. Beth helped lift him up, pushing him towards the inclining path.

The first few walkers made it through the brush, their hands almost grasping the teen. A bolt pierced its head easily, the sharp point bursting out its temple. Beth yanked the bolt out and began running full force up the rutted hilltop.

"C'mon, c'mon!" Daryl hollered pulling Beth higher up the hill, shoving her over the ledge to safety. Valentine grabbed Noah's wrist to help give him leverage to climb higher. Another walker reached them, Valentine slammed her blade into its skull quickly and effortlessly. Noah reached the ledge and Daryl pushed him up before shouting, "get your ass up here Val."

Killing the next incoming rotter she turned, jumping over a fallen trunk and into Daryl's arms. He shoved her up and over the eroding cliff before yanking his own body to safety. The herd spilled into the area, claw like hands trying to scratch their way up the hill, but only loosening earth. They avalanched backwards, bodies rolling downhill to trip other incoming corpses.

The group panted heavily but didn't stop running because eventually the dead would get up the loose earth of the hill. They moved fast, all four maneuvering quickly through the thickening forest. The undergrowth was thick vines and thorny bushes, scratching their clothes and limbs. Valentine felt a sharp stick scratch her face, a trickle of blood dripped off her jaw onto her already filthy shirt.

Her heart was racing and chest rising rapidly as their path became steep again. Flicking her eyes to Daryl she tried to express her exhaustion without speaking, the idea of using energy to talk seeming to much to handle.

He grunted, "I know." only to keep running alongside her. They both knew there was no time to rest. It was life or death so she toughed it out.

Eventually they reached a road, the old worn dirt path was once used for logging trucks to haul lumber down the mountain. It would also allow them to travel up the peak quicker than climbing through the thick woods. As long as they were far enough ahead of the herd to lose them, the road would be their best option to gain ground. Daryl handed over a bottle of water while they walked quickly instead of jogging. Her breath still coming fast caused her to cough up the water she sipped, her dry throat choking on the warm liquid. Daryl stopped her from walking, his hand on her back as she coughed to clear her throat.

"Ya a'right?" He rasped, his brow furrowed as she panted. Nodding lazily she muttered, "Just outta breath."

"We gotta keep goin'." He instructed as they began walking again. "We get to the bottom of this mountain we can head north again. Find something to hole up in."

She nodded again, successfully swallowing a little more water. Glancing at the two behind her, she noticed Noah's normal limp was worse.

"Did you hurt it?" she asked him, her teeth grinding slightly at the thought of another injury.

"Just tweaked it." He assured her, his grimace informing her of his downplaying of the pain. She looked at Daryl who seemed just as stressed by the possibility of needing to find shelter sooner rather than later. If they stayed to close to the herd they risked becoming over run again. They needed to get at least a few miles away or else they'd be running again by morning.

"Give me your pack," Daryl drawled, his hand reaching out for Noah's bag. The kid hesitated but thought better of it when Daryl growled lowly. Valentine smirked at Beth who rolled her eyes. They were both used to Daryl's gruff demeanor but Noah was still intimidated.

The group finally made it to the other side of the mountain and began seeing a few rooftops scattered near the bottom. Daryl ticked his chin towards them and drawled, "One of these might work. Rest and head out in the mornin'."

Valentine agreed wholeheartedly with the idea of resting. She was used to being on the run but they had been at it since dawn. Her body was aching and she was nearing a level of exhaustion that wouldn't allow her to keep going.

The building they settled into was once a ranger station. The structure was made of thick logs and had a green tin roof. The windows had been boarded up for the season at some point, thick moss covered the wood shudders and porch steps.

Daryl walked slowly and quietly up the rickety steps, his feet barely making a sound. Valentine tried to be as stealthy but broke the dense silence with a deafening squeak. He raised an eyebrow and curled his lip into a cocky smirk. Rolling her eyes she muttered, "Shut up Dixon."

* * *

They were resting in the small seating area of the cabin, Noah had his ankle up and a cool cloth wrapped around it to get the swelling down. Beth had the cloth draped upwards to a bowl of cold creek water. She explained it kept the wrapping cold and wet without having to change the bandage. The girl smiled sadly as she explained Hershel showed her once on and injured horse. In uncharacteristic form Daryl pulled her into a side hug, his voice gruff, "well good thing you're here girl. Ya learned from the best."

Beth laughed quietly, her hand wiping the corner of her eye and gave him a watery smile, "Thanks Daryl."

Falling back into his normal bravado he rolled his shoulder lazily grumbling, "Ain't nothin' but the truth."

* * *

In the early morning hours Daryl informed Valentine he was going to go hunt as soon as the sun rose. He wanted to get as much game as possible. If they preserved a bunch of jerky the group could be set for a good length of time if rationed. She agreed completely but felt a tightening knot in her stomach at the thought of him leaving on his own. They both agreed the other two shouldn't be left alone while Noah was injured. If caught off guard Beth wouldn't be able to get him to safety. It didn't make it any easier though. The couple hadn't been apart since Grady and weren't looking to have any kind of similar repeat.

"It'll be alright." He rasped quietly, his eyes showing the same anxiety. "Don't wanna leave ya anymore than you do but we need food. If we wanna keep headin' north we gotta stock up."

Valentine rubbed her forehead and nodded in resignation. "Don't like it Dixon." She whispered, her dark eyes meeting his before adding, "but I know. We'll be fine and you better keep your ass safe."

He smirked, with a cocked eyebrow as he drawled, "or what?"

"You'll regret it." She threatened with playfully narrowed eyes. Her lip twitched from a smile being suppressed.

"Whatcha gonna do sweets? Glare me to death?" He taunted, a sly grin flashing his straight teeth. Valentine grinned in return at the sight of one of only a few true grins she'd seen grace his handsome face.

"Like when you smile." She spoke before she could stop herself, knowing he'd blow her off.

"Pfft." He grunted while chewing on his thumb. The man was quiet for a moment making Valentine sure he was done talking but eventually his hoarse voice hooked her gaze, "like it when ya laugh." She smiled shyly and bumped her shoulder against his murmuring, "well Dixon are you sweet talking me?"

Daryl rolled his eyes away and grunted, "stop."

Resting her temple against the warm skin of his exposed shoulder Valentine whispered, "I'll miss you tomorrow."

She felt his chin rub her forehead as his mouth pressed into her hair. One large hand rest on her lower back as the other cupped her jaw. He turned her face upward and murmured, "gonna be back real soon a'right?"

Nodding she brought her lips to his, the pair kissed deeply and lazily. Valentine moaned as he shifted her onto his lap, large hands held her waist and dug into her hips. Daryl growled as she bite his lip and sucked it hotly. Rocking in slow waves against each other Valentine panted against his cheek as he slid his tongue along the curve of her neck. "Val. Sweetheart." He groaned into her ear as she rolled seductively against his hard on. "Yeah baby." She whispered into his jaw, her teeth nipping the scruffy edge. "Want more?"

The sound of someone's footsteps had Daryl pulling away desperately, their eyes jumping to a tired looking Beth. Valentine froze as Daryl held her biceps and leaned away as if able to pretend they weren't just about to tear each other's clothes off. The girl yawned and asked drowsily, "you need me to take watch or are you two good?"

Valentine swallowed thickly and glanced at Daryl. The man looked stricken as if caught committing an atrocity. Rolling her eyes at his awkwardness she spoke evenly and hopefully without embarrassment, "We're good Beth. Go back to sleep."

"Cool." She responded before stumbling away but not before teasing, "feel free to continue, I'll plug my ears."

* * *

Daryl had hiked the majority of the day while following the tracks of a rabbit. He was hoping to follow it to a den which may have more than one furry friend living there. More than anything Daryl wanted to go back to the cabin. He wasn't keen on being away for too long because anything could happen in this new world. It was like that before the world went to shit but now the likelihood was greater that a normal day would turn sideways in no time.

Stepping over a fallen log he scanned the forest floor for prints, his narrowed gaze noticing every divot and smudge. He picked up on the trail, slinking along with his ears trained for movement in the woods.

A muted crunching had the hunter lowering his frame and focusing on the undergrowth beneath the giant pine ahead of him. His bow was steady and eye trained as his calloused finger let the bolt fly. The high pitched screech of a rabbit being impaled had Daryl moving forward to silence it. His knife sliced its neck quietly, the animal falling limp. Looking around Daryl checked for any walkers drawn by the noise, the woods became quiet. The man shook off the eerie feeling the place had suddenly and tied the rabbit to his pack with a leather cord. Climbing to his feet he wandered down a path looking for other signs of wildlife.

Daryl had been gone most of the day when he decided to head back. He had caught one rabbit and three squirrels. It wasn't the haul he wanted but would feed them for a couple days if they rationed tightly. Walking back through the darkening woods the man let his mind wander onto the normal topic of thought, Valentine. The woman consumed his attention most of the time and when not thinking of her he was thinking of ways to protect her. Merle would kick the shit out of him if he knew the lengths Daryl would go to see Valentine smile or hell just have her look at him. He'd do desperate and depraved things just to keep her safe. There wasn't a request he could deny her nor a question he wouldn't answer if she asked. Valentine was it for him and it made him feel… whole. Daryl felt like a whole person for the first time in forever.

* * *

_A few days_   _later_

They came out of nowhere it seemed to Valentine. Their wild eyes and sharpened weapons striking out like coiled snakes. Daryl let a bolt loose, the sharpened point grazing one feral looking man across the cheek. His face split open and blood spray out but he continued forward like a man on a mission. Valentine fought off a woman with matted dreadlocks and threadbare clothing. Her machete was jammed into the wailing banshee of a woman, the blade embedded into her gut. She clawed at Valentine while trying to stab downward with a rusted kitchen knife. Holding her wrist tightly Valentine tried to keep the cruel weapon away from her face. Thankfully, a huge branch hit the stranger in the temple, the splintered wood held by Noah. It wasn't the first time the kid had saved Valentine. Giving him a thankful nod she turned back to see Beth pinned while Daryl was no where to be seen. Moving quickly she shoved her machete through Beth attacker's chest and spun around in search for Daryl. Running towards the last place she saw him Valentine got a glimpse of movement. Breaking through the trees she found the man struggling with two dirty individuals while two walkers approached.

Noah and Beth fought off the dead as Valentine jumped on the back of one of the strangers. She retched his head back with all her strength, dragging the blade across his neck in a vicious fashion. Daryl shoved the other wild man away only to catch a piece of rebar against the temple.

Valentine watched in horror as he dropped to the ground like a felled tree. The resounding thump of his body making her screaming like the banshee she fought earlier. Flying forward she lost total control on the last attacker. Valentine wasn't sure how many times she stabbed the guy but she didn't stop until her arm fatigued.

Eventually she realized Beth was frantically trying to get her attention, her voice breaking the surface of Valentine's blood rage. Looking back she realized the dead were coming and Daryl was still unconscious. Jumping upright she rushed to her lovers side, her blood covered hands floating over him as if unsure what to do.

"We gotta carry him Val." Noah spoke with uncommon strength and assurance. "Grab his arm. Beth carry his bow."

With great concentration Valentine and Noah lugged Daryl to his feet, one arm over each of their shoulders, his feet dragging behind them. The trek was slow going with the trio literally carrying their groups backbone in their arms. Daryl was the strength that kept them organized and alive. Without him, Valentine wasn't sure what they'd do.

Swallowing back the panic that was now constricting her breathing, she scanned the area for shelter. Seeing the glint of a silver rooftop she tipped her chin in its direction.

"There." She grunted, adjusting the heavy limb pressing her body into the ground. "Go there."

They staggered towards the unknown building, it's corrugated metal walls finally exposed by the parting trees. Valentine got to the window, her tense eyes checking out the shadowed depths. Grinding her teeth she whispered, "gonna lay him down, you two guard him while I clear."

"Val you can't." Beth started but Valentine snapped, "stay."

She glared at the girl, her irritation at the situation they found themselves in making her lose it. "Keep. Him. Safe." She ground out with fiery eyes before sliding the man to the ground carefully. With gentle hands she made sure he was still breathing before she moved away, her ears listening for movement inside the building. Her body was thrumming with adrenaline and fighting through exhaustion. Clenching her jaw she swallowed the nerves and moved inside the building. Quickly she cleared the large farm equipment storage shed. It was empty of walkers but needed some securing. A few windows needed blocked and the large rolling door needed to be locked shut.

Opening the door nearest to the others, Valentine walked towards them with a grim scowl. She realized Daryl was still unconscious and only now noticed the blood dripping from his face. Beth was pressing his red rag against his face, blood oozed between her fingers. "He needs stitches bad." She remarked her wide blue eyes jumping to the building, "it ok in there?"

"Yeah. Let's get him inside. I can stitch him."

They settled him on a few bales of hay on top of an old horse blanket. Beth boiled water and got the first aid bag ready while Valentine washed up. Her hands were stained red from mutilating their attackers. Both Noah and Beth wouldn't look her in the eyes, their frames both tensing as she neared them. Valentine wanted to sneer and snarl angry words at them but settled for glowering at the wound on Daryl's sweaty forehead. The rag pressed to the wound was soaked and his eyes were still closed heavily.

Kneeling by his head Valentine began cleaning the wound and processing the next steps to take. The last person she sewed up was herself after almost being beheaded, Valentine figured this would be a piece of cake but when she brought the needle to his skin, her hands shook. Squeezing her fists a few times she tried to shake the nerves out but it wouldn't ebb. Beth murmured, "Val I can do it for you."

"No... No I just," she choked on the words and shook her head once sharply, "I'm fine."

Taking a breath and letting it out slowly she finally began sewing the split in Daryl skin. It went fast, the cut only being a few inches long. Soon she cleaned the row of even dental floss stitches that she put in with surprising precision.

"You're good at that." Noah remarked from behind her shoulder. Valentine murmured, "Had some practice." She felt Beth looking at her neck and heard her murmur, "did you do your neck?"

"Yeah." Valentine replied hoarsely, her hands gently bandaging Daryl's head in gauze. He was still completely unaware of his surroundings, it caused Valentine's stomach to clench painfully. Sighing she scrubbed her face and looked at the remaining light outside. "Sun's setting, let's stay here til morning. Hopefully he's awake by then."

Periodically Valentine tried to wake him but Daryl only lay there limply. A deep curling fear began to fill her chest, a fear that he may not ever wake up.

* * *

It was the very early morning hours when she saw movement in the trees. It wasn't just the movement that got her heart racing but the strategic look of its shifting patterns. There were more living humans in the trees. They weren't alone any longer.

Waking the others she hissed, "People. Stay inside."

Beth looked panicked at first and started to argue but Valentine glared at the girl, "don't come out. You keep him safe."

Moving to the only available exit Valentine scanned the woods, her eyes catching movement on the side of the building in the edge of the brush. Slowly she squeezed through the narrowest gap of the doorway and glanced back at Noah, "barricade this behind me."

Once outside a sharp crack of a branch had Valentine's head shooting up and around. Scanning the woods she narrowed her eyes and felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

The woman palmed her machete blade hilts, slowly bringing them from their worn leather sleeves with a hiss of the blade. Valentine circled the building quietly, her ears perked up at the rattle of a pebble against the forest floor.

Turning quickly she came face to face with a large man carrying an assault rifle. Swinging her blade out she caught the barrel of his gun with the edge of her machete. The man grunted in pain as the sharp instrument cut his knuckles.

"Motherfucker." He hissed, while thrusting the butt of his gun at her face. Barely dodging the impact she escaped his sudden lunge to grab her. A large fist landed against her shoulder making her hand release her weapon. The guy tackled her to the ground, his imposing frame crushing her wrists and forearms while peeling her second blade out of her grasp. Valentine sneered angrily, her growls vibrating her whole body, arching her hips off the ground.

Yanking her leg upwards she drove her knee repeatedly not his ribs making the guy groan in pain. Using his distraction as opportunity, she slammed the heel of her hand into his nose and kneed his groin. The guy snarled, his body rising away from her reach, which allowed Valentine to slide out from under him. Pulling her hunting knife out, she gripped his hair and yanked his head backwards, exposing his muscular neck to her sharpened blade.

"Eh, eh, eh." She taunted while placing the blade against his arched body. "Gonna die big boy." She growled while fisting his hair painfully.

"Don't move puta." A female spoke from Valentine's side, the brunette woman sauntered forward with her own assault rifle. Growling angrily, Valentine yanked his head back forcefully and snarled with bared teeth and feral eyes, "another step I open him ear to ear."

The other woman paused, her dark gaze and angry scowl focused on Valentine's every move. The guy grunted, "everybody calm your tits."

Valentine wrinkled her lip in distaste, the saying being something Negan used to utter.

"Y'all are trespassing." She snarled, her blade pressing into his neck further. The other woman moved slightly to the right making Valentine adjust her stance, tearing the man's hair out by the root, "Don't fucking move." She snapped at the heavily armed woman. "I'm gonna kill him."

The mechanical click of a revolver hammer being cocked had Valentine freezing in place, a trail of goosebumps slid down her arms and her breath hitched. Her back tensed and shoulders rolled forward as if preparing to be attacked. The cold metal pressed into the back of her neck and a hoarse voice informed, "No. You're gonna drop it."

Pressing the blade harder into the kneeling man's neck, blood trickled over her bleached knuckles and Valentine slowly realized she was fucked. There was no way out of the situation and if Daryl ever woke she wouldn't be there to greet him.

Swallowing through the rage and shame of failure, Valentine tossed the knife to the side and raised her hands. The large man kneeling in front of her climbed to his feet, the brunette touching him affectionately. The man behind her patted down her sides and thighs for more weapons, tossing her spare blade to the side.

The man she held hostage wiped the blood from his neck and sneered at her. "Gonna pay dearly for that sweetcheeks."

Valentine curled her lip and taunted, "Better get your boyfriend to do your fighting from now on big boy because you suck balls at it."

The ex marine looking man charged forward but the voice behind her ordered with complete authority, "Stop."

Hearing the scuff of boots behind her, Valentine prepared to see the new threat to her well being. He strolled around the front of her, his large revolver leveled at her face. She took in the road worn boots and filthy jeans scattered with holes from wear. His holster was hanging low on his narrow hips, a large machete rested against his threadbare denim thigh. As the angered woman raised her eyes, she felt the air rush out of her body, her chest compressed and mouth dropped open. Valentine watched his hand twitch and his lips part only to fall silent.

"What the hell Hoss?" The large angry man growled from the side, his voice sounding like a strange echo to her.

"Valentine?" The man before her gasped, ignoring the other's questioning looks, his aim dropping to the ground.

Valentine slowly smirked, her hands still raised, "You gonna shoot me Sheriff?"

Rick didn't wait one more second, with his gun hanging loosely in his hand he pulled Valentine into a fierce hug. His arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders and neck as she held his middle. She felt him press a kiss to the side of her head while muttering, "Jesus I never thought I'd see you again. We thought you were dead."

Valentine laughed dryly, "almost was."

Pulling back she smirked at him. He had the biggest beard she'd seen on him, the mountain man length almost obscuring his features. The piercing blue of his eyes drilled into her though and Valentine recognized him immediately. Glancing at his friends who seemed more than pissed off. "Sorry about the neck." She remarked to the large red headed man.

"Grimes you gonna fill us in."

"This is Valentine. She's family."

"She almost killed him." The woman growled, her gun still slightly raised. Rick put up a pacifying hand and suggested, "maybe she was just protecting herself from two armed strangers."

"She attacked him."

"Rosie put it down. He's right she was just protecting herself." The large man explained, while wiping his bloodied neck again, "got some skills blondie."

The tension broke when the woman lowered her gun and stomped a few steps away from the group. Valentine turned to Rick and said, "We need your help."

Without explaining she put her fingers to her lips and let out the sharp bird call telling the others that it was safe now. She listened for the call back and heard them opening the locks on the door.

"Who's with you?" Rick rasped, his eyes jumping to the metal door. Valentine smiled and drawled, "come on in."

Climbing the steps she watched as Beth pulled the door open for her, her hand gripping the hilt of her knife. Noah was in the background his gun raised to the men behind her.

"Is everything ok?" Beth asked, her eyes jumping to the strangers before landing on Rick.

"Mr Grimes?!" She gasped, her body launching towards the man. He hugged her, his hand cupping the back of her head, his watery eyes meeting Valentine's. She could see the man barely containing his emotions.

"Oh my god I can't believe it's you." The girl cried, her hands wiping away tears.

Rick smiled, tipping his head to the structure, "let's go inside."

Valentine walked him over to Daryl who still lay deathly still. She glanced at Rick who looked instantly concerned at the man's condition. "Daryl." He muttered moving forward to kneel at the makeshift bed. "What happen?"

"Got attacked yesterday evening. They hit him pretty hard. He hasn't woken up." She spoke quietly, her hand feeling his sweaty forehead for fever. Glancing at Rick she asked, "Happen to have any medical experience with you?"

"Rosita?" Rick spoke to the other woman, "can you?"

The woman grumbled in Spanish under her breath but looked him over quickly. She checked the stitches and looked for signs of infection.

"Looks like he just needs rest." She commented, "No fever and his pupils are reactive. If he isn't awake by evening then we might have a problem."

Nodding Valentine looked up at Rick and murmured, "let's catch up over there."

* * *

Rick and the two strangers who were introduced as Abraham and Rosita sat near the cold fire pit with the others. Rick kept shaking his head in disbelief every time he looked at her.

"Jesus, Val. How did ya do it?" He rasped his eyes sliding to the giant scar now wrapping her neck and collarbone. She dipped her head self consciously, an action she found herself doing more of lately despite her irritation at it.

"Barely did. I stayed under a car trying to stop the bleeding. Woke up later and the place was burning. Flooded with the dead. Eventually I got out." She explained her hand stroking the rippling scarring on her collarbone. Valentine had just opened her mouth to tell him how she found Daryl afterwards when the injured man jolted awake shouting her name.

His hoarse voice pierced through her chest and made her choke on a sob. Running to the man tumbling from his makeshift bed to the cement floor, Valentine gripped his shoulders and cupped his head to keep him from hurting himself again.

"Easy, Dare. Easy." She murmured, watching his frantic yet dazed eyes dart around the room. His fingers dug into her ribs as he tried to get control of his body, grumbling, "fuckin head is killin me."

Valentine snorted and deadpanned, "that's what happens when you stop a iron bar with your head."

"Shuddup. smartass." He grunted, rubbing his eyes to finally take in the room. She knew the moment he noticed the additional people in the room. Daryl tried to get up but couldn't manage it safely.

"It's fine. Daryl fuckin sit down." She growled, pulling on the man's belt. He grunted and tried to focus on the other's faces. The moment he caught an eyeful of Rick he froze, his face became slack.

"Goddamn." He finally grunted, his surprised eyes slid to Valentine's gentle smile. She wanted to jump into his arms, just hug him and squeal that they found the others. That he was awake and everything was going to be ok. However she held back, her hands clenched into tight fists to keep from grabbing his face and kissing his mouth deeply and thoroughly.

"Dixon." Rick drawled, his voice thick with emotions. He stepped forward to a crouch and gripped Daryl's neck, pressing their foreheads together making the injured man grimace slightly. "Good t'see ya brother," Daryl mumbled as Rick sat back on his heels, his hand roughly scrubbing his face.

"So we stayin' here or what?" Abraham broke the emotionally heavy atmosphere from his spot on a tractor tire. "Because if we are I'm gonna need some serious chow. Blondie there kicked my ass."


	33. Chapter 33

Rick began describing the last few months on the road while the group sat in the large building, "Me and Carl got out together, met up with Michonne."

Valentine was on the edge of her seat. The man was finally providing her with the answers to so many of the questions she'd been obsessing on. She could barely sit still.

"We looked for signs of everybody but just came up empty." He drawled, raking a hand through his shaggy locks. "We went to a place, called itself a community."

"Was it Terminus?" Beth blurted out, "was Maggie there? Is she ok?"

Rick seemed surprised by her knowledge of Terminus, "She was there and is ok. How do you know about that place?"

"We saw her signs for  _Glenn_." Beth spoke with a tinge of irritation, her arms crossing tightly over her loose sweater. Rick glanced at Valentine as if asking what her problem was. Shaking her head slightly she moved the discussion on. "Who else is with you?"

She wanted to inquire about Judith but was too scared to bring something painful up. The pink teething ring was burning a hole in her pocket. She felt her chest compress, as the man seemed to pause for far too long.

"Found Maggie, Glenn, Sasha and Bob at Terminus. They were traveling with Abraham and Rosita here, Tara and Eugene are back at camp." Valentine watched the large redhead sneer at the last man's name, his fist flexing in anger. She glanced at Daryl who despite having a concussion still caught the change in atmosphere.

Rick swallowed thickly and glared at the dead fire pit for a second before continuing. "The place was a trap. Carol helped us get out."

Valentine eyes widened at the statement. Carol had been exiled right before the Governor attacked. It meant she had met up with them after it fell. Daryl sat up straight, his muddied mind seeming to remember the hurt from finding out she was gone. He glared at Rick, his eyes igniting. "Good thing ya kicked her ass out huh Grimes? She was there to save yours."

Rick was rightly abashed, his head ducking downwards and hands clenching into fists. "Ain't gonna defend myself Daryl. Was wrong and it ain't ever gonna happen again."

Daryl rolled his lip between his teeth, the chapped skin tearing as he contemplated forgiveness. Valentine could plainly see Daryl let the anger go, the tension leaked from his frame and he bobbed his head a couple times. "A'right." He rasped before waving his hand in a 'get on with it' way.

"Carol and Tyreese were together, Ty got Judith out of the prison." He explained, his lip curling, "The man's her new nanny."

Valentine's breath rushed out with a big whoosh, relief flooding her veins. Daryl noticed her struggling to control the emotions overwhelming her. His boot tapped hers, his eyes questioning if she was alright. She nodded tensely, her watery eyes meeting his for only a second. Meanwhile Beth grinned widely, "he stole my job?"

Rick laughed, his eyes sparkling. "Yeah, y'all have to figure out some kinda schedule."

"Where y'all stayin'?" Daryl asked, his teeth biting at the rough cuticle of his thumb.

"Nowhere right now. Been travelin' on foot. We left to scout for shelter and supplies."

"We should go collect 'em. This place is as good as any." Abraham spoke from his spot on the tractor, his hands methodically wiping down his gun.

Rick nodded, looking over at the man, "can you and Rosita go back, round em up?"

"I'm going too." Beth announced, hopping down from the tailgate of a pickup truck.

Shaking his head Rick drawled, "no need Beth."

"I wasn't askin'." The teen growled but seemed to remember her manners after the words slid out. She blushed and muttered, "sorry."

Rick smirked and commented, "I think you've been spending too much time with Valentine."

Snorting Valentine quipped, "you say that like it's a bad thing Grimes."

Valentine sank back into the bale of hay behind her, a shoulder barely touch Daryl's warm one. They'd found everyone, they didn't have a home but maybe the world wasn't so fucked after all.

* * *

Valentine was leaning against a rusted tractor as Rick and Abraham planned a route back to the group, while Beth listened intently. Valentine was happy Beth was stepping up and not backing down. The group needed to know she wasn't the girl from the prison. She was an asset just like everyone else. In the time traveling with her, Valentine had realized she had a good sense of direction, her skills improving with every map they found. She'd even started to keep a detailed map of her own with plotted routes for emergencies and shelters. Valentine smirked as she watched her shaking her head, pointing out the better route they should take back. Rick grinned slightly at it, his hand patting her on the back in appreciation.

Rosita stood nearby, her eyes falling frequently on Valentine. She did the best she could to ignore the stares but the muttered Spanish curses under her breath were getting tiring.

"Do you have a problem?" Valentine asked with a cocked eyebrow. She didn't glance at the room but she could tell everyone grew silent as she spoke.

Rosita took her opportunity to vent, "yeah I got a problem. You. I don't trust you."

"That's fine, I don't trust you either." Valentine spoke calmly, her frame tensing as she could feel the air heating up around them. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the others adjusting their stances as if expecting a fist fight already.

"Yeah well at least I didn't try to kill you as soon as I saw you."

"Oh you would've if you actually had a chance." She snarked with a glint in her eye, "look I was protecting my group."

"You attacked him before even knowing who he was." The woman growled, leaning forward and pointing at her aggressively.

"Yeah and I'd do it again. I had two teenagers and an unconscious man to protect. Some big fucker shows up with an assault rifle, I wasn't letting him shoot first."

"Don't matter. I don't fucking trust you."

Valentine was reaching the end of her rope so she stepped forward, crowding the woman into the tractor.

"Like. I. Said." she growled, enunciating every word like a weapon, her shoulders rolling forward and hands turning into fists, "I don't fucking trust you either. Especially since you allowed one of your own to be taken so easily. Maybe you should stay back at camp and learn to knit."

She knew it was below the belt and would get a rise out of her but she was itching for a fight. Valentine had begun to realize she missed the aggression of the fighting rings at Sanctuary.

"Fuck you." Rosita snarled, shoving Valentine's shoulders. She heard the men approach, but took control of the situation before they could intervene. Shoving the woman back against the equipment she pinned her, while Rosita struggled. Her legs kicked out toward Valentine but she dodged them right before sweeping her own leg, causing Rosita to fall to the ground. They struggled for dominance, fists swinging and elbows flying. The men were shouting and someone tried to grab Valentine off of Rosita but was rewarded with an elbow and a snarl by Valentine, "don't fuckin touch me."

Slamming her arm not so gently across Rosita's chest she grabbed one wrist and pinned it the ground. Straddling her ribs she squeezed her thighs, crushing the wind out of her and then pressed her forearm into the woman's throat. She wasn't choking her, only restraining. The men hovered nearby as they noticed Valentine wasn't trying to hurt the woman.

"You calm down yet." Valentine growled in her face, the woman still clawed at her with one free arm while snarling with bared teeth.

"Ya done," she repeated, "because I can do this  _all_  fucking day."

Rosita made another last attempt, her body arching off the ground only to be grappled with by the more experienced fighter. They ended up on their sides, Valentine twisting her into a rear choke hold while wrapping her legs around her middle from behind. She restricted the woman's movement but wasn't strangling her. Valentine could see the others rapt attention but focused on controlling the situation.

"Tired yet?" She asked matter of factly, one arm circling the woman's neck holding the wrist of the other, which fisted the back of the woman's hair.

"Fuck you." Rosita sneered, her fingers digging into Valentine's forearms making her miss her fighting wraps, deep nail gouges smeared with blood lined her arms.

"Look." Valentine started speaking calmly over the woman's shoulder while tightening her hold, "I'm sorry I gave your boyfriend a close shave but put yourself in my shoes. I had an injured person and two less experienced people, no offense, " she added to keep them from being angry.

"None taken." She heard Noah from somewhere in the room.

"I had to protect them. You would do the same thing for him right?"

Rosita didn't answer only struggled again but Valentine could feel her limbs weakening.

"You don't have to like me, you don't have to trust me. But you know what you have to do?" She asked, tightening her legs and arms to show the strength she had in her body. Her muscles constricted and she could tell the woman's moxy was draining from her as she felt the experience Valentine had at controlling a physical fight.

"What?" Rosita growled, her nails still digging into Valentine's scarred arms.

"What you have to do is  _not_  fuck with me." Valentine growled, ducking her head closer to the woman's ear to get the point across, hissing, "I am NOT someone you want to fuck with. You wanna know why? Because I am a goddamn  _killer_. You got me?"

Rosita tried pulling the arm around her throat away only to give up as Valentine tightened it, arching her body to stretch Rosita's neck into an even more uncomfortable position while squeezing her ribs painfully to show the woman the how truly fucked she was. Repeating the question Valentine snarled, "you fucking understand me?!"

"Yes." Rosita hissed angrily while twisting her face away from Valentine snarling teeth.

Valentine released her, pushing the woman away none too carefully and climbed to her feet. Glancing at the men she found Rick with crossed arms looking anothing but happy, Abraham was on the fence between angry and amused, while Daryl looked at her with nothing but arousal. She could see him chewing his lip in thought while his hooded eyes blazed a trail over her lithe frame. Valentine backed away from the others and headed outside for air. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins and she felt almost high from it. Stepping into the humid summer heat, she heard the beginnings of an argument between Rosita and Abraham as she berated him for not helping her. Her chest heaved with cleansing lungfuls as she paced a few times along the side of the metal building. She knew Daryl joined her before she saw him.

Watching him stride forward, Daryl gripped her wrist, yanking her around the side of the building. Valentine opened her mouth to offer an excuse only to be pressed forcefully into the wall. Daryl boxed her in and growled lowly, "you know how fucking hot that was?"

Valentine mouth dropped open and she tried to think of something to say but was silenced anyways by Daryl's mouth. His tongue dove into her, while his body pinned her to the corrugated metal wall. She felt his hands gripping her hips while he devoured her mouth and neck. The metal dug in between her shoulder blades, the surface warm from the morning sun. Valentine slide her hands up his taut forearms to his flexing biceps as Daryl kneaded her hips and ass with curled fingers.

"So fuckin hot." He muttered while licking a delicious path up her neck to her ear. His rough southern accent hot against her cheek, "Kinda wanna wrassle with ya."

Valentine snorted obnoxiously and smiled at him, "Shuddup."

"M'being serious. Goddamn it was sexy." He responded with a grin and completely honest eyes, his arousal pressing into her stomach. It ignited a graphic yet appealing image involving wrestling Daryl with little to no clothing on.

The door opening had him stepping back, adjusting his hard on and straightening his shirt. Valentine had noticed he wasn't touching her in front of the others, not that he was openly affectionate with just Beth and Noah around but now it seemed more purposeful. She tried to not let it bother her knowing he was a private person but still felt a niggling of worry he wanted to hide their feelings for each other. Valentine wasn't sure she could. Not anymore. She had been so used to hiding everything human that now that she had begun breaking down those barriers, Valentine wasn't sure she could hold it back.

Rick sauntered out, a frown still evident below the beard. There was a moment where her conditioned response to knowing she'd done something wrong and expecting to be punished hit her hard. Valentine's throat closed and she flinched at his approach. She could feel Daryl's eyes on her but kept her gaze to the ground as Ricks boots appeared in her line of sight. Her heart was racing and she could taste blood in her mouth from biting her cheek nervously.

"Hey." She heard Rick rasp, his head ducking to meet her subdued gaze. "Val. Look at me."

Chewing her lip she slowly made eye contact and could see none of the malice or sadistic gleam that would have accompanied Negan's eyes. She may have fucked up and crossed a line but Rick would never hurt her like that. Intellectually Valentine knew it but that didn't mean her body did.

"Val." Daryl's voice broke through her wild eyed stare down, making her flick her dark gaze to his. He narrowed his eyes and then stepped in close to her. He positioned himself slightly in front of Rick as if breaking whatever reaction she was having to him. "Ain't happenin' again, got me?"

She swallowed thickly and nodded once. He brushed his hand over her elbow as if trying to comfort without being conspicuous.

"Val?" Rick drawled from behind Daryl, stepping around to see her again, "I'm mad but ya know me. Ain't like that. Ya know that."

Nodding she murmured, "still workin' through shit sheriff."

"A'right just.." He paused before promising, "won't ever hurt ya Val."

Valentine nodded again and nodded to the building, "I'm gonna talk to Beth before they head out."

* * *

Daryl watched her walk inside, her body somewhat curled in on itself. He knew exactly what was going on in her head when she flinched at Rick's approach. Valentine's body was waiting for Rick to lash out and punish her for disobedience. He could guarantee some of her scars were from doing exactly what she did inside, letting her mosnter loose.

'Fuck that was hot.' He thought while scratching at the new stitches in his head. Rick grunted, "stop. It'll get infected."

"Damn, didn't realize what a mother hen ya were Grimes." He snarked with a cocky grin. The man chuckled dryly before changing the subject to something more serious, "she ok?"

"Yeah. Just adjustin' still."

"How bad was it?" Rick's arctic blue eyes were pitted with guilt. Shifting under the intensity of the gaze Daryl grumbled, "bad. Real bad." He glanced at him and rasped almost to quiet for Rick to hear, "almost lost her."

Grunting in response Rick drawled, "miracle she survived at all."

"Ain't no miracle. She just stubborn as shit." Daryl replied with a slight curl in his lip.

* * *

Valentine stood in front of Beth with crossed arms, her eyebrow cocked, "got your blade?"

"Yep." The girl answered with a firm nod, her hand resting on the pearl handled dagger. The older woman could see the girl's anxiety but also her resolve to prove herself.

"Who got Noah outta Grady?" She asked surprising the teen. Beth swallowed and whispered, "me."

"That's right. Who kept themselves safe while in that shitshow?" Valentine followed up with her eyes focusing on the young woman rather than the others listening in the background.

"Me." Beth spoke with a stronger voice, her jaw tilting with a edge of defiance.

"Damn right." She replied with a smirk, "who does everyone underestimate?"

Beth's eyes narrowed and nostrils flared, growling, "me."

"What's that mean you can do?"

Pausing a moment she answered but her tone was a question, "surprise 'em?"

"Hell yeah you can and you know what that gives you?" She asked, the girl shaking her head once, her eyes wide with attention.

"The upper hand." Valentine growled with contagious intensity, "and you know who always wins a fight?"

Beth shook her head slowly, her eyes becoming brighter and braver.

"The person with the upper hand." Valentine spoke low and fierce, dark eyes drilling into Beth's baby blues. "Your size, your sex.. None of that matters when you got the upper hand. Got me?"

Beth nodded resolutely, her gaze never wavering from Valentine's.

"Stay smart and stay safe." She told the younger woman, with genuine smile. Stepping back Valentine ticked her chin towards the others and added, "bring 'em back in one piece."

Beth replied, "yes ma'am," before jogging to the door where Abraham and Rosita waited. Noah joined her and they all headed out to collect the others. When Valentine met Rick and Daryl's eyes she blushed at their grinning faces.

"Jesus Val if I knew you could be so damn inspirational I woulda elected you chief of this tribe." Rick drawled in his thick southern accent. Valentine threw her head back and laughed for the first time in a long time. When she looked back at them their grins hadn't receded any, only grown.

"Shuddup." She muttered, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Plopping down on the ground next to Daryl, she eyed his stitches with wary gaze. "Crooked." She mumbled with a scowl.

"Don't care. Least I didn't bleed t'death."

"And you're minty fresh," Rick provided with a crooked grin and glinting eyes.

"Ass." Daryl grumbled but Valentine saw his lips twitch before he smothered it with a signature scowl. Grimes chuckled and asked, "anything else happen out there?"

"What, besides the normal death and destruction?" Valentine snarked with curled lip.

"Yeah. More than that."

"We went back." Daryl blurted out, his resigned eyes revealing the troubling events without words.

"Who?" Rick asked, the man knowing instantly that they'd found someone. Valentine bowed her head as Daryl choked on Hershel's names, his eyes dropping to the ground. Rick's heavy lids slid shut, and he sucked in a shuddered breath. Valentine watched him rest his forearms on his bent knees, his fingers worrying each other. His thumb twisted his wedding ring while his head ticked slightly. She could see him struggling with a deeply rooted guilt for every life they lost. Chewing his lip Daryl explained, "found 'em inside…prolly went fast," he paused to swallow around a lump, "Put 'im down but couldn't bury 'im."

Letting out a jagged breath, Rick nodded with watery eyes. "Beth?"

"Yeah. She was there."

"Anyone else?"

"Woodbury people, don't know names but remembered faces."

They fell silent for a long moment, Rick's head bowed as he reeled in the emotions drowning him. Valentine could sense the grief weighing the man down, the past sitting heavily on his buckling shoulders.

"It wasn't your fault." She broke the silence, Rick's eyes telling her his disbelief. Shaking her head she repeated, "it wasn't your fault Rick. You did everything ya could with the knowledge ya had."

The man set his mouth into a grim line, his head cocked as he peered at her from under his brows, "nah. I knew… I knew and I let happen. Ain't nothin' neither y'all can say to change my mind. Hershel…" His voice cracked, shaking his head and gazing at the wall rather than their eyes, "that man deserved to live. He was the best kinda man and he deserved more. That's on me." His voice was hoarse but strong, his jaw set tightly. Valentine could see the man collapsing in on himself. Moving toward him she gripped his forearm and dug her nails into the skin to get his attention. Growling, "Grimes, stop with this shit now." She glared at him and spoke with passion, "we've all fucked up before. We've done shit that's got others hurt, even killed. We've murdered, we've maimed all in the name of surviving. The difference between you and some other fucker out there is that you feel that guilt."

"So do you."

"Not nearly enough."

"Still." He replied with a raised eyebrow. Valentine huffed out a laugh, "Shuddup."

Shaking his head he conceded, "A'right I'll stop if you do."

"Fine."

"Fine." He repeated with a hidden grin.

* * *

They were walking up the long dirt road to the metal shelter. Valentine could see the group they'd lost all those months ago heading their way. Chewing her lip, Valentine realized she was not only nervous but close to tears with relief. The picture of Carl, Rick and his late wife had been tucked safely in her pocket except late at night when she gazed at it.

The kid had become a staple in her life quite quickly despite her attempts at distancing herself. Carl reminded her of her son, Michael, but it wasn't just that. He was a good kid, troubled at times but he tried to be good.

Valentine had been an only child but Rick felt like a brother, hell maybe even a twin. They both struggled with controlling the monster inside. She had seen his when pummeling Tyreese with lead fists. He was a great man though, loyal to a fault and too brave for his own good.

Michonne was a kindred spirit. Both women had lost children, both struggled with the decisions made and actions they'd done after that loss. Valentine had known she was missing them but not until finding them again had she realized how big of a hole their absence had left.

The figures became clearer as Glenn and Sasha came into view. They carried rifles and lowered them as Rick, Daryl and Valentine appeared. Valentine watched as Carol, Maggie and another brunette followed the first pair. Clenching her fists she felt Daryl bump her shoulder, his eyes asking her if she was alright.

"Just..." She started, her voice cracking. Shaking her head she gave him a sad smile and whispered, "jus' happy to see everybody."

Bobbing his head Daryl reached out, his thumb stroking the back of her hand, "Me too."

Valentine had turned back to the group when a streak of brown came running towards her. She was barely able to catch Carl as he lunged at her. His skinny arms held her waist as he apologized over and over.

"VAL! Oh my god. M'sorry Val. So sorry," He stammered, his blue eyes way to full of tears and cheeks flushed, "I shouldna. Daryl tol' me no. I'm sorry, Val."

Valentine wrapped her arms around his wiry frame and soothed the grief ridden teen, her eyes burning with tears. His knees gave out with his sobs as he struggled with the weight of his guilt. She crouched with him as he dug his face into the crook of her neck and gripped the back of her shirt. Valentine could feel his warm tears on the giant scar he felt soul crushing guilt for.

In the new brutal world it was so easy to forget that the boy was just that, a child. Carl may have been more man than boy but it didn't mean he wasn't a child any longer. He'd lost his mother and had become a guardian for not only his baby sister but to a whole group of people, yet he was barely out of adolescence.

"Shh. Carl. Shh." She murmured, her hand cupping his shaggy head, while rocking him back and forth, a nostalgic maternal instinct kicking in, "Carl. No. You saved me."

"No I.. I shot and he cut you. It's my fault." He choked out, peering up at her before staring at the pink skin twisting around her neck and collarbone.

"Carl he was going to anyways. You gave me a chance." She explained, her thumb wiping his face clean and pulling him back into a hug, "you saved me kid."

They sat for another moment before standing and turning towards the others. Most had given them their privacy, all of them chatting with the new arrivals. She saw Maggie standing next to a somewhat disgruntled Beth. The poor blonde still looking raw about her sister's rebuff.

Daryl was hugging Carol, her hand cupped his cheek and she kissed his forehead. Valentine smiled at him trying to hide the tears. He hadn't admitted it but losing their group had been soul crushing to Daryl.

Walking to the others, Valentine kept an arm slung over Carl's shoulder, her eyes falling on Michonne. Smiling widely at the other woman, Valentine hugged her tightly, swaying back and forth, from foot to foot. Michonne chuckled, squeezing her just as fervently, "I knew you were a tough bitch but you out did yourself."

"Pffft. Can't believe you doubted me." Valentine replied with a scoff. Parting she smiled and slid her hand into her boot, pulling out the switchblade. Slapping it into Michonne's palm, "try not to lose it this time."

Michonne's mouth dropped open and she slowly grinned, "you went back?"

Looking over at the group she noticed no one else was listening. She nodded and whispered, "keep that quiet for now."

The woman nodded seeming to know that for whatever reason their return to the prison was a sensitive issue. Valentine wanted to make sure that knowledge was shared with care since it would include informing Maggie of her fathers death.

* * *

Daryl sat next to Valentine, his head still throbbing painfully. He couldn't believe those assholes got the jump on him and that he needed Valentine to save his ass yet again. It was becoming a nasty habit of his and he needed to cut it out. Merle was probably laughing his ass off at his pathetic mess of a brother.

'Done gone pussy on me Darylina. Knew ya were the weak one but shit tha' girls got bigger balls than all ya.' He would have rasped, his eyes crinkled in amusement, his smile razor sharp.

'Fuck off Merle.' He growled inwardly, his posture somehow informing Valentine of his internal tirade. She raised an eyebrow and curled her lip slightly, a look of amused confusion watching him. Rolling his eyes he grunted, "nothin'."

Daryl tuned into the group discussing where they'd been and what had happened. Everyone was hit hard with the news of Hershel's demise, Maggie crying against Glenn's shoulder. He couldn't help but squint his eyes angrily as the woman hugged her husband rather than her sister. Glancing at Valentine he watched her glare at the couple while clenching her fists. She had become a surrogate sister to Beth in some ways and in doing so had become very protective.

When Glenn told them of Bob's death, Sasha stalked out before anyone could stop her. Daryl frowned, his eyes falling to Valentine's equally troubled eyes. He couldn't imagine losing her like that, he wouldn't imagine it. There was no way Daryl would let it.

"Ain't happenin'." He muttered under his breath, his neck flushing when she grunted, "huh?"

"Nothin. S'nothin."

* * *

Rick, Carl and Valentine stood near the edges of the steel walls surrounding them. She wanted to give them back the picture in private knowing it was going to be emotional for them.

"What's wrong Val?" Carl asked with a furrowed brow, the too perceptive kid knowing instantly when something bothered her. Swallowing thickly she muttered, "I got somethin'… When I went back."

Pulling out the photograph she smoothed the fold out, flattening the image before handing it to the teen. Carl's hand gripped it tightly, the edges bending as his fingers flexed. Rick's shuddered breath had her breaking eye contact with the boy, the man's piercing eyes drilled into hers. She chewed her lip before murmuring, "knew you'd want it back when we found you."

Rick pulled her into another hug, his hoarse voice ghosting into her hair, "so glad you're ok Val."

He pulled back, cupping her neck, his thumb brushing over the ropey scars. "Thought you were dead." He rasped, "don't wanna ever think that again, ya hear me?"

Valentine laughed, "I'll try."

They parted, Valentine searching out Judith only to find her sitting in Tyreese's lap. She grimaced at the idea of approaching the man. The last time they spoke he was accusing her of murdering his girlfriend and burning her corpse. Pursing her lips she moved with more confidence than in reality.

Crouching in front of him she asked, "she still teething?"

The man looked at her for a long moment, Valentine's fist clenched the ring painfully. Clearing his throat he answered, "yeah. Been gnawin' on anything she can find."

Nodding, Valentine held her hand out, the pink ring standing out on her scarred palm. Something so innocent in her brutal looking hands. Tyreese stared at it a moment before slowly taking it from her, Judith squealing in delight at the appearance of her favorite chew thing.

"Valentine." He started his eyes meeting her's for the first time without anger or accusations, only regret. Shaking her head she muttered, "don't worry about it." Standing she walked away before he could say what was on his mind. She wasn't really in the mood to rehash old news. The prison was gone and everything that went with it was too. They were all beginning over in Valentine's mind. Fresh starts and clean slates.

* * *

The group decided to stay for the evening because despite Daryl's emphatic claims of being fine, Valentine could practically see the concussion in his eyes. He was unsteady sitting down and would be a disaster if on his feet. Rick, knowing the man as well as Valentine, jumped right in and claimed they all needed the rest. Daryl saw straight through it but let it save him some face in front of the strangers. Valentine understood it, his drive to never be weak and never need accommodation. They were two damn peas in a pod but that didn't mean she was going to let Daryl get himself hurt.

Settling in for the night Valentine lay near Daryl, close enough to talk but not grab attention from the others. She glanced at him when feeling his eyes on her.

"What?" She whispered, the dark concealing some of his face. Hearing him scoot closer before answering back quietly, "nothin'."

"It's somethin'. What's wrong?" She asked, her chest clenching at the fear inducing idea of Daryl wanting to call off whatever it was they were.

"Ain't used to this... Whatever this is."

"Us you mean?"

"Yeah." He grunted, his fingers toying with the sleeve of her jacket. Rolling to her side she murmured through the choking fear, "you wanna stop."

"No!" He gasped out before smothering his voice, "course not.. Just don't want everybody in our business."

"I get it but Daryl.. I'm not gonna hide. I don't want to anymore."

She watched his face soften and he nodded, "A'right but can we not be like Glenn and Maggie?"

Snorting she teased, "what you don't want to making kissy faces and babytalk?"

He glared at her until she laughed under her breath. "Don't worry I won't call you Studmuffin in front of the others."

"Shuddup." He grumbled, rolling onto his back. Valentine slide closer to murmur, "I'm fine with being laid back. Gratuitous PDA is not my thing. I do however like sleeping near you so get used to it."

Settling into his side she sighed as she got comfortable. "Alright?"

"A'right." He muttered, his face pressing into her hair while his hand raked through it. "Thanks by the way."

"For what?"

"Savin' my ass again."

Valentine hummed, her fingers tracing the buttons on his shirt. "Don't gotta thank me."

"Yeah I do. You're always savin' my ass." He grumbled, his voice rumbling underneath her. Valentine sat up on her elbow, looking down at him while shaking her head slightly, "don't you get it Daryl?"

"Get what?"

"Before you, I was nothin'. Just some husk of a person, breathin but not living. I never would've gotten outta there. Never would've had what I have now." She paused, looking away while swallowing through a lump in her throat. Turning back to him she spoke quietly but fiercely, "You save me every-damn-day Dixon."


	34. Chapter 34

"So you and Dixon did the dirty huh?" Michonne teased while the women moved through the perimeter of the woods around the building the group were squatting in. Valentine's mouth dropped open and she blinked her eyes rapidly, while making a choking sound. Michonne chuckled with sparkling eyes as she smacked Valentine on her shoulder. "Jesus. Your face... Classic." She snorted with a toothy grin.

Rolling her eyes Valentine muttered, "Shuddup. Asshole."

"Oh come I saw you all cuddled up this morning and the way he looks at you..." Michonne trailed off while bumping her shoulder playfully, "C'mon. Gimme something."

"Fine." Valentine grumbled, her eyes skimming the trees for anyone listening, "Yes. We're... together."

"No shit. What's it like? Dixon isn't exactly a touchy feely type." Michonne asked, an eyebrow raised. Valentine smirked, a blushed crawling up her cheeks and muttered, "Well he doesn't have that problem with me."

Laughing heartily Michonne teased, "I'd hope not."

"Sooooo, is it good?" Michonne inquired, wiggling her eyebrows causing Valentine to bark out a laugh and shake her head in disbelief at the woman's prying. It didn't however stop her from answering, "You have no fucking idea."

The women laughed together, both walking a few more feet before Michonne murmured, "I'm happy for you.. for both of you."

Valentine smiled softly before biting her lip nervously. She glanced at her friend and confessed, "It scares me."

"What? Getting close?"

"Yeah and caring for him. If what happened before happens again…" she shook her head while looking away, blinking through the tears. She swallowed through the lump choking her and spoke roughly, "I won't make it next time."

The other woman stopped, her hand gripping Valentine's wrist, "Hey now, don't do that."

"I can't help it."

"Well you gotta stop. You can't cut yourself off because you're scared. Believe me, it doesn't work." Michonne explained, her eyes filled with the past. "You know as well as I do."

Nodding, Valentine sighed and admitted, "Yeah I do. That doesn't make it any easier."

"No and nothing will, so you might as well be doing what makes you happy."

Laughing dryly, Valentine bobbed her head, her eyes catching movement to their right. The man of the hour came sauntering towards them, his eyes taking in her somewhat tense figure with concern. Michonne muttered under her breath, "Speak of the handsy devil himself." Valentine snorted while dropping her embarrassed eyes to the forest floor.

"Everythin' a'right?" he rasped as he reached the two women, his hand gripping the strap of his crossbow. Giving him a nod and a slight smile Valentine asked, "You?"

Daryl grunted in response and ticked his chin to the building. "Noah talked to Rick about headin' to his group's camp. Everybody wants to try it out."

"We headin' out now?" Michonne asked while following the man back to the others. Daryl nodded once, his lip firmly chewed between his teeth in thought. Valentine knew he was dreading the long hike north as much as she was. There could be anything between where they were to Noah's family's camp and they were going to be traveling dangerously close to Sanctuary. Just a few hours away from the group's stomping grounds. Valentine wasn't sure if the place still stood without it's maniacal leader but knew that killing one snake only meant another would pop up in its place. Any number of people could have taken over after Negan's death and the Saviors could very well be more dangerous without the brutal control of the man. If there was one thing Negan was good at, it was controlling the monsters below him with an iron fist. Without it there was no telling what kind of chaos ensued after they escaped.

* * *

A few days into their journey they ran into their first herd. The massive crowd of undead was migrating south down the old highway the group was traveling north on. The two vehicles they were using for the trip had been running on fumes as it was and the detour they had taken was a few hours out of the way.

Eventually the tanks were tapped and the already exhausted group began trudging through the woods on foot. Valentine headed the group with Daryl, their careful eyes scanning the forest floors for hints of the herd they outran while looking for game. Food was getting scarce, as was water, which weighed heavily on everyone's mind.

Valentine watched as a few undead travelled towards the sounds of the group, their unsteady gates tripping over vines and roots. Sliding towards them with both blades at her sides, Valentine sliced through a still standing corpse while stabbing the second who tried crawling to his feet. Yanking her blade out of the fallen dead she spun around to bury it into the remaining walker. Glancing back at the group she saw that they were frozen in their tracks watching her dispatch the trio with minimal effort. Daryl stood with his bow resting on his hip looking anything but nervous at her taking on three corpses by herself.

Flicking the blood off her blade she wandered back over with a placid expression and even breathing. She wasn't flustered or worried and she could see the newer group members looking at her with caution. Valentine hid a smirk and let her amused eyes fall to Daryl's, his lip twitched in return.

"When are you going to train me with blades?" Carl inquired as they began walking again.

"Ask your dad."

"Dad?"

Rick gave her a wry expression causing Valentine to laugh quietly under her breath. It was such a classic parental tactic of brushing off decisions to the other that Valentine's heart ached slightly at its familiarity.

"When we find a shelter, I s'pose it wouldn't hurt. As long as it's alright with Val." He finally replied, his arm adjusting Judith to the other hip.

"Val?" Carl asked with wide hopeful eyes making the woman roll hers in reply, "Of course I will."

"What about me?" Beth asked joining the conversation. Looking back at the blonde the woman nodded, "Sure Beth. We still need to work on your ground game."

"You're training her?" Maggie asked from a few feet back.

"Yeah." Valentine replied, her fist clenching as she waited for the woman to protest. She wasn't sure but it felt like Maggie seemed to be angry with her sister's new friendship with Valentine. Before the woman could speak Daryl's concerned eyes connected with hers.

The group fell silent as Daryl signaled from the front, his palm coming up to halt their progress. Valentine slid up to his side with a cocked eyebrow. She tilted her head as the voices finally reached her ears.

Glancing back at Rick she held up three fingers, pointing to the east. The man handed Judith off to Tyreese as he joined Daryl and Valentine. Looking through the trees they could make out a clearing with three men camping out.

Flicking her eyes to the others she raised an eyebrow looking for opinions on their next steps.

Daryl grunted quietly, his eyes jumping to Rick's with similar questions. The man's gaze fled to the direction of the group laying in wait, his concern for his kids clearly present on his exhausted face.

"If we go around we risk 'em comin up behind us." He rasped under his breath, his cold eyes landing on the tree line hiding the men. Valentine read between the lines, they couldn't afford to let the men live.

Swallowing thickly Daryl suggested, "Could be just survivin' like us, Rick."

Rick's head tilted to the side, his eyes unfocused as he replied, "Could be.. Could be lookin' for the weak to raid."

"We ain't weak." Daryl rasped, "They ain't a threat t'us."

"Everything is threat to us," Rick hissed, his piercing blue eyes landing on Valentine. "Are you with me?"

Pursing her lips Valentine fought inwardly with herself. The protective and brutal side, was all for sliding into their camp and slitting their throats for the group's safety. The other side of her, the healthier side that was just recently reawakening, felt hesitant at taking yet another life for possibly no reason.

"Val. You know we have to." Rick drawled, urging her on, "I need you to do this. You  _have_  to do this to protect the group."

Daryl growled, his eyes flashing angrily at the other man's word. "Bullshit. It don't got t'be like this, Rick."

Flicking her eyes between the men as they argued she muttered, "Let's just get this over with." If they kept talking about it, the men would hear and they would lose their advantage.

Daryl's eyes narrowed at her resignation before looking away, his back stiff and hands tightening around his bow's handle. She could tell that he was unhappy with her decision.

Rick instructed her without further pause, "You circle left, I'll go right. Fast and quiet." Valentine noticed he left Daryl out of the plan, the man obviously allowing his brother an out.

Touching Daryl's elbow she whispered, "Stay here just in case they come this way."

"Ain't lettin ya do this alone." He grunted, shifting his stance to follow her.

"I won't be. Keep the others safe." She murmured before sliding into the trees to circle the group. She kept her feet light and body low, her eyes trained on the man-shaped shadows beyond the tree line. Her heart beat a rapid staccato, her breath a quick pant.

With a recently sharpened blade in her palm, Valentine edged her way to a narrow opening in the copse. Two men sat near a fire pit, while the third knelt skinning a rabbit. They were chatting about their plans for the day and what supplies they needed. She saw very few weapons, mainly knives and blunt objects. Nothing screamed danger to her and doubt cinched her chest. Grinding her teeth she felt a creeping dread and a frightening déjà vu. Flashes of following Negan's orders to infiltrate camps, orders to over throw and collect supplies. To capture or kill. A hired gun, a sharpened tool for his amusement.

She couldn't do it. Not any longer.

Her body froze and she wasn't able to find it in herself to step through the shrubs. Valentine frantically searched for Rick in the forest beyond, her aim to signal a retreat. They didn't need to do it, to be something cruel and wicked.

The rustle of a branch caught her eye and she found the man's stoic gaze looking back at her. He observed while emoting no hints of hesitation. Shaking her head rapidly she gestured for them to return but Rick glared back, signaled a countdown in her direction.

Valentine mouthed the word 'no' while shaking her head repeatedly but the man kept going. At the last folded finger he moved in quickly, his fist grabbing one man's hair, while dragging the blade across his throat. She couldn't hesitate any longer, Rick was now exposed to two threats. The men shouted, both pulling weapons out as Valentine joined them. Her blades were poised for swinging but her arm trembled. She couldn't move until one man charged her, giving her a reason to defend herself. Rick tackled the other man, both throwing punches and dodging each other's knives. Valentine ducked away from the attacker's attempt to stab her while swinging her arm out and around. The curved machete slid through his throat almost too easily, blood spraying across the ground. She smelled and tasted copper, her head swam with memories of being in the ring. Images of gutted men and women flashed behind her clenched eyes, her hands dripping with their spilled blood.

Rick stood up from the corpse below him, his knife buried under the man's jaw and out his mouth. She was gasping, a strange panic was crushing her chest. Valentine couldn't breath and her eyes were prickling with emotions she couldn't pinpoint. The man she considered a brother and friend approached but she flinched away. It felt like she had backslid into the Valentine from Sanctuary. She was a monster again. The bitter taste of bile choked her as revulsion rolled over her in waves.

'Monster' she growled to herself in disgust. 'Fucking monster.'

"Val?" He rasped, his chest rising rapidly as the adrenaline made its way through his lanky frame. Shaking her head sharply she hissed, "I told you no. I told you. You saw me."

"You said yes. I didn't force you."

"You did. You forced my hand by charging in." She growled, turning away and making a move to leave. Rick reached out, grabbing her forearm only to freeze as her blade instantly rest against his throat. They stood still glaring at each other, Rick huffing out angry breathes as Valentine ground her teeth audibly.

The sound of feet approaching had Valentine flicking her eyes to the trees to see Daryl and Abraham watching the standoff. The men stopped in their tracks at the sight before them, Daryl's eyes more than a little concerned. His bow was slightly raised as if unsure who the threat was.

Valentine returned her wild eyes to Rick's and spoke fiercely, "This isn't happening again. I am  _not_  your fucking weapon to use as you please."

He set his jaw tightly, his eyes showing regret but his words denying the accusation, "You agreed to this."

"Never. Again. Grimes" She sneered, removing her blade from his throat before yanking her arm out of his grasp. Turning on her heel she fled, her worn boots taking her as far away as possible without abandoning the group. She found herself standing near a split rail fence, the fields beyond filled with long golden grass. It should have been peaceful but it only made her feel lost and alone.

Her breath was coming so quick that black spots clouded her eyes. She paced a length of the fence, her feet scuffing the dirt as she anxiously chewed her lip bloody. Valentine raked the hair out of her eyes only to see crimson splashed across her skin. She frantically tried wiping it off, her nails scratching at the already drying blood.

"Hey, hey. Now stop." Daryl gruff voice broke through her hysteria. "C'mere." He added softly, his large hands pulling her digging nails away. Sitting her down on the ground Daryl used his red rag soaked in the last of his water to gently wash the blood from her hands.

'It'll never go away Val. You'll always be soaked in it.' She tormented herself. 'Always. It's all your good for.'

"Shhhh." He murmured, his voice hoarse, "it's alright."

Valentine looked up, her vision blurred and breath ragged. "I… I tried to stop. Daryl. I tried. I s-swear."

Daryl grunted, "I believe ya."

"He.. Rick he still went. I couldn't. I couldn't let him get hurt." She stammered, her eyes overflowing, "I hadta. M'sorry. M'sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't wanna do it anymore. I don't want too."

Pulling her into his chest, Daryl cupped her head, his fingers woven into the dirty curls. She felt him press his lips to her temple as he rocked her trembling form. He comforted Valentine as she tried to reel in the crushing guilt of being a murderer. It was something she had grown accustomed to but the weight of every new death seemed to crush her more and more every time. Killing the men in the clearing really hadn't been needed. The group could have avoided them altogether and even if they ran into them, the group had the numbers to defend themselves. She felt as if Rick used the knowledge of her past to get her to kill. He knew how Negan weaponized her and it felt like the man took advantage of it.

* * *

Daryl cradled Valentine as her body burnt through the adrenaline in her system and her tears dried. He was beyond angry with the man he considered to be a brother. Rick had pushed her into murdering the strangers, pushed her into adding to her death toll. The last time Daryl was that furious with Rick was when he confessed to leaving Merle chained to a rooftop in Atlanta. He hadn't known the man then but now he did and Daryl felt fiercely betrayed. Valentine was completely right; she wasn't his weapon to use. She didn't deserve to be abused like that.

A branch cracked a few feet away, Carol stepping out into the open. The woman's concerned eyes found them, her mouth downturned into a frown. He shook his head discouraging her from approaching but she spoke before leaving.

"The group's moving out. You've got to come back."

Valentine tensed at the words, pulling away quickly. She wiped her face almost frantically and climbed to unsteady feet.

"Be right there," she choked out, her eyes not rising from the forest floor. Daryl watched her reel everything in and stuff it away. A blank expression slid in place and it looked as if nothing and no one was going to get through to her. It made his face fracture and chest clench painfully. Her pain was now his but it didn't stop her from feeling it.

They returned to the group finding them looking at the couple curiously. Valentine kept her face empty and body stiff, her jaw set tight. Rick made eye contact with Daryl only to look away from the heated glare he sent his way. Tension was thick but it didn't stop them from continuing to travel.

Daryl took the rear with Valentine, both walking without speaking. He could see her stuffing down everything upsetting her, shoving so deep that he was afraid everything else would go with it. He couldn't allow it. He couldn't let her turn back into the husk they found in Sanctuary.

Swallowing thickly he did something the old Daryl would never have done in front of the others. Reaching out he wove his hand through her, squeezing her palm to make her glance up at him. Her dark eyes were wet but Daryl knew she wouldn't cry, not in front of everyone else. Valentine didn't speak but she did keep her hand firmly in his, her fingers squeezing back. He felt his neck flush in embarrassment as Carol smirked at the sight but he didn't let go. Daryl would've never let go.

* * *

The group was camping out in a rundown auto body shop that reeked of motor oil and gasoline. Valentine eyes burned from the fumes causing her to spend most of the day on the flat rooftop. She leaned against the useless AC unit and kept watch with Maggie. Some of the group had gone on a supply run. Rick and Abraham headed up the group with Carl, Rosita, Noah and Glenn. Daryl and Beth had gone hunting, the man continuing her training while looking for game. The rest were staying inside the tiny office or standing guard at the entrance. Tyreese was caring for Judith and Carol was preparing a small lunch for everybody while Eugene and the priest took up space. Valentine had no time for zealots and liars so she knew little of the new additions.

Ever since Valentine and Rick's stand off the two had been avoiding each other. She wasn't sure of his reason, whether he was angry at her for changing her mind or angry at himself but Rick wouldn't even look at her. Valentine didn't want to speak to him anyways though, having felt slightly betrayed and possibly even a little used. She knew they could've walked away but Rick pushed and pushed and she gave in. It wasn't all his fault, Valentine knew she should've said no from the get go but she didn't and now her chest ached with remorse. Their silent treatment was the reason for her position of guarding the camp rather than running with the supply team. She accepted the relaxation of staying in one spot for more than an hour.

Valentine scanned the horizon looking for the dead and living alike, her dark eyes seeing nothing of consequence.

"Thanks for takin' care of my sister out there." Maggie drawled, her lips curled slightly. Shrugging lazily Valentine replied, "Beth's a survivor."

"Still, thanks."

Pursing her lips as she considered her next words carefully, the ire for the woman's absent messages to Beth still nagging her.

"She needs you to think of her as a peer and not a weak little girl."

"I don't think she's weak, it's just... Well she's always been so fragile." Maggie huffed, shaking her head, "she almost gave up completely once and after the prison fell, I just... I guess I mighta figured she would again."

Nodding once Valentine peered over and offered, "We all can reach a point where we think of giving up. Either you do it and you're dead or you walk that edge only to see that you want to live. She wants to live and she will because she's a fighter. Don't discount her."

Maggie chewed her lip, her head bobbing slightly as she considered Valentine's words. "Have you reached that point before?"

A lump filled her throat and she looked away from the woman's inquisitive eyes. Valentine didn't want to admit to having so many points in the last two years where she had thought about offing herself. There were so many that she couldn't even keep count but she hadn't gone through with it and that's all that mattered.

"Yeah... Few times." She rasped, her watery eyes meeting Maggie's. The other woman nodded and looked remorseful for asking. "Sorry, didn't mean to pry."

Valentine couldn't speak, her emotions like jagged glass in her throat. Nodding slightly she turned away, discreetly wiping her eyes on her shoulder.

A few hours later the sun was directly overhead, Valentine's scalp felt tender from sunburn. She was about to get some relief indoors when a few corpses wandered from the tree line. Kneeling down she watched as they stumbled along the concrete, one using the broken end of a shin as a foot. It's hobbling tripped up the one behind it, the bodies falling into a heap. Snorting she watched to see if Michonne and Sasha below were safely killing them when another couple stumbled from the woods. Furrowing her brow she let out a bird call letting the ground crew know of the new threats. As soon as they killed the new arrivals a few more exited the treeline.

"Shit. We got a problem, get everybody ready to roll out. Looks like a herd." Valentine instructed, her quick feet scrambling down the fire escape ladder to help clear the incoming horde.

She joined Michonne and Sasha as they began felling as many biters as they could. Inside the building she could hear the others packing up. The supply crew were still looking for vehicles so the group would be fleeing on foot. Valentine was slicing through the dead as fast as she could but the trio was quickly becoming over run.

"Come on guys!" Maggie screamed while following Carol and Tyreese, who carried Judith, around the back of the shop into the woods. The women ran after the others who were further ahead with Eugene and the priest on their heels. Valentine kept shoving the dead away and into the path of others just to keep moving. If she stopped to kill them, she would be torn apart. Michonne was running nearby, her long legs hopping over fallen trees and boulders. Sasha grunted as she slammed her rifle butt into an incoming corpse, her face splattered with blood. The group was running for their lives and all Valentine could think about was the fact they were separated yet again.

* * *

"It's a squirrel." Beth proclaimed her wide blue eyes jumping to Daryl's narrowed gaze. Jutting his chin he grunted, "follow 'im."

The two continued on the trail of a squirrel while Daryl let his mind wander a bit. He kept flashing back to Valentine's breakdown after killing the group of strangers.

It was the first time they'd been apart since her break down. She hadn't been speaking to anyone but him and Carl. There was a part of him that felt pride for being someone in her inner circle, a person that even when in her most introverted still opened up for him. Not that she had been speaking of anything of consequence but she still talked. Her façade reminded him of the first months they knew each other. A blank expression, neither angry nor happy. Her voice was even and soft, not robotic but so even keeled that it was offsetting. Daryl hated it and hoped more than anything to return to the time they had spent alone together. Hell even with Beth and Noah it was an ideal little group. Now that they had joined back up with family there was more drama and more opinions. Everything was a discussion and every little minutia had to be explored. It was exhausting.

When it was just the four of them, everything flowed. Valentine and Daryl seemed to always be on the same wavelength and when they disagreed it was usually because of concern for the others health. Daryl was more than happy to be back with the group but deep down he knew being on his own with Valentine would be way easier.

He was still royally pissed off at Rick and had to put a concerted effort into not punching the guy in his giant beard. Logically Daryl knew the men could've been threats, they could've followed them and tried to hurt them but he also knew they could've been just like them. Daryl hadn't thought there were any good people left in the world after the prison fell but while traveling with Beth her hopeful outlook rubbed off on him. Life wasn't all bright sunshine and rainbows to him but the idea of killing anyone in their path seemed downright evil. The world couldn't possibly be completely void of other survivors just trying to make ends meet. Hell if they really looked at themselves, the acts Rick and Valentine took made them the exact people the group should avoid. It was a brutal and vicious act perpetrated on random strangers who sat unawares of the threats beyond the trees. Daryl wanted to tell Rick he was edging dangerously close to the survivor rule book of people like the Governor and Negan. If they killed every person they came in contact with, they would lose more than just new friends, they'd lose the last bit of humanity they had in them. There was no way in hell he was going to let that happen to Valentine. She'd been forced and coerced into doing atrocious acts and Daryl would be damned if he let it continue on.

"There." Beth whispered, pointing out the squirrel perched in a branch. Daryl ticked his chin at his bow Beth carried, "go on now."

The girl cradled the heavy object, pressing the handle into her shoulder while looking down the sights. Her slim finger squeezed the trigger letting the bolt fly through the air only to pierce the animals chest. It fell to the ground and Beth whooped. Daryl snorted at her joy but then his head perked up. A wall of rot soon hit them and the groaning made its way through the woods.

"Fuck. Got a herd." He growled, turning around to see which direction they were coming from. In horror he realized the dead were coming from the gas stations direction. The group must have been over run.

"What about the others?" Beth asked while jogging with Daryl. He led them in the direction of their last camp, the new plan Rick had set in place for times when the group got separated. The last place they camped was near a construction site a few miles away.

"Going back to the last camp like the plan." He grunted, jogging through the woods.

Beth kept her hand on her knife hilt while running nearby, her eyes constantly falling to the trees behind them as if looking for the others.

"gotta trust they got out Beth." Daryl rasped, his own gut screaming at him to return to the gas station also. Beth nodded and muttered, "better have."

* * *

It took an hour to get to their last camp and by the time they arrived Rick's supply run team was already there. Daryl walked straight to them asking, "The others here yet?"

"No. We tried to go pick them up but the herd took the area. The group will have to circle around to get here." Rick explained calmly, his eyes betraying his facade. Nodding while gripping the crossbow strap over his shoulder, Daryl stared at the direction the group should be coming from. He chewed his thumbnail while telling himself to stay put. The urge to run off into the woods becoming so strong he had to take a few steps away. The group was near the fenced in construction site, it's long forgotten equipment and supplies scattered around the half finished buildings.

"We got a moving truck running, it'll fit all of us and has a full tank." Rick drawled from his side. Daryl glanced out of the corner of his eyes and nodded silently. He could barely contain himself from growling and snarling at the man, the anger from the other day rearing its ugly head.

"Look Daryl." Rick started, his hands resting on his hips while he cocked his head to the side. He looked very much like the cop he used to be, the calming tone and eye contact. Daryl wasn't sure what he hated more, the man's actions or his pacifying tone.

"No Rick, I ain't lookin'. Ya know ya did wrong by her." He growled, his temper finally breaking. "Ya know what that fucker made her do and ya know it fucked her up beyond anything any of us has hadta go through. It was goddamn wrong of ya to do that."

The others were listening as Daryl spoke more than he had all week. He was leaning into the man he considered a brother, his eyes wild and finger jabbing Rick in the sternum.

"Ya ain't hurtin her like that again. I ain't lettin ya use her like some goddamn secret weapon. Ain't fair and it ain't fuckin right."

Rick kept silent, his eyes just as wild and jaw set tightly. After a few long seconds of both men almost forehead to forehead staring each other down, Rick growled, "Can I speak now Dixon?"

Daryl's eye twitched at the man's haughty tone and he had to reel in the urge to punch the guy instantly.

"I was gonna apologize for my actions before ya went off and tore me a new one." He rasped, talking a step back, "it won't happen again and when she gets back I'll apologize to her. It wasn't my intention to be like him."

Daryl ground his teeth, the mention of 'him' causing a fury to bubble up in his chest. Taking a step forward her snarled, "you're goddamn right won't be happening' again cause if ya do, I'll lay ya the fuck out Grimes. Brother or not."

Rick swallowed thickly, his frame vibrating with tension but nodded just the same. "A'right." He replied before walking away from the still simmering redneck. Glancing back he saw Carl and Abraham closest to the conversation while the others watched from further away. Carl gave Daryl a nod and smile obviously agreeing with his protective stance for Valentine. Abraham cocked an eyebrow and drawled, "trouble in paradise sweetheart?"

"Fuck you." Daryl snapped while stomping away to watch the perimeter.

* * *

There was a few hours of daylight left when familiar faces began stepping through the woods. Daryl jogged towards them, his chest clenching when only three bodies appeared. Maggie, Eugene and Carol walked towards the group, obviously exhausted. All carried a couple bags each, the supplies and belongs left by the others at the gas station. Daryl reached Carol's side and looked back into the woods for Valentine.

"Where is she?" He growled as Carol struggled to meet his eye, making him stop breathing, while his heart skipped a few dozen beats.

"We got separated. Valentine, Ty, Judith and Gabriel got cut off when the herd met up with another big group." Maggie explained, "Valentine shouted she'd meet us here."

Daryl ground his teeth, raking a hand through his dirty hair while he paced the forest line. 'God fucking damnit,' he growled inwardly, his irritation becoming less and less manageable. Rick looked just as worried but tried to assure him, "she'll be ok. If anyone can get them back safe she can." The man spoke a good game but the tension around his eyes was clearly visible. Pulling out his last crumpled cigarette Daryl popped it in his mouth before flicking his almost empty bic. Sucking in the calming tar he let smoking trail out of his nostrils while he drawled, "gonna have t'camp here if they ain't back soon."

"Of course. Judy's out there too." Rick replied, his hands resting heavily on his holster. "Gonna walk a perimeter, come with me?"

Daryl grunted while ticking his chin telling Rick to head out. The men were silent as they stepped through the woods that surrounded the construction site. He had thought Rick was going to talk about their argument but instead he walked quietly. The first corpse shambled through a shrub a few minutes into their walk. Daryl glanced at Rick who looked just as worried. If the herd was making it way to them, they may have to abandon the meeting spot. It would mean backtracking to the camp previous to the construction site which meant a few hours of travel.

"Ya think it's headed this way?" Rick asked, his hoarse voice startling Daryl out of a downward spiral of worry. Shrugging he drawled, "prolly followed Carol and them."

Rick grunted while slamming his machete into a dead man's head. The body fell and Daryl got the first sight of the in coming herd.

"Let's head back. We're gonna have to fall back if they don't show soon." Rick rasped while jogging back to the group.

* * *

"We gotta hit the road fellas." Abraham hollered from his position standing in the drivers side door, his forearms resting on the roof. "That groups gonna hit us in twenty minutes tops."

"Ain't leavin 'er." Daryl growled, his eyes burning into the big redhead. "Y'all can go, I'm stayin' here."

"Fuck son, if she ain't here by now, she ain't showin'. Waiting around any longer is as useful as tits on a bull. Ain't changin' nothin but ruinin' our chances of outrunning those dead fucks."

"Shut up Abe!" Maggie shouted, "she's comin'"

Daryl glanced at the woman in surprise having not realized the two women had somehow connected while he was away.

"She's right, Val will get here soon." Rick drawled before adding, "If they don't we all know the plan."

"We ain't leavin'!" Daryl snarled, his hands fisted and his eyes blazing. Stomping over to the chain link fencing in the large construction site Daryl glared at the herd milling beyond the barrier. Inside the rutted dirt lot the large yellow diggers and cranes sat rusted and overgrown with weeds. There were dead shambling into the equipment and stumbling into the long ago dug holes for foundations. He scanned the large area and the forest beyond for any sign of Valentine, his chest tightening after every second passed.

'Please Val.' He begged inwardly, his eyes clenching shut for a full minute before popping open. Daryl's burning blue eyes scanned the area, the man releasing a jagged breath as a shock of blonde hair came running towards them. He watched as she spun and dodged the reaching hands of the mob.

"She's comin'!" He shouted, his hands fisting the fence while stabbing the incoming dead.

* * *

Valentine was running alongside Tyreese who was carrying Judith. She was fighting off walkers around the large man who kept the baby from being grabbed. Gabriel was taken soon after the others had been split off, his screams echoed into the woods while they fled. Valentine didn't look back though, her priority was the little bundle strapped to Tyreese's chest. Rick and her may have had a falling out but no one should lose their child, Valentine was far to familiar with that type of loss and would never wish it on anyone. She would get the girl back to her father.

The pair dodged another group of corpses, their jagged arms and broken teeth looking for fresh meat to eat. There were too many and Valentine's limbs were fatiguing but they kept going. The pair needed to find the others before they left for the previous camp. There was no way the herd hadn't met the camp near the construction site. It was too all encompassing, too spread out. The others would leave and the next rendezvous was hours away and the sun was setting soon.

A rotting woman lurched at Valentine while another fell at her feet. She swung one blade around to land in the female and was about to kill the second when she heard Tyreese scream out. Turning slightly she saw a gaping bloody mouth biting down on his arm while he hit it with his hammer. His eyes were wide and panicked, his chest heaving frantic breathes. Valentine got the last walker off her and came to his side her face grim, her eyes filled with guilt. Tyreese growled, "Go! gotta get her outta here. Just go!"

They began to run but Tyreese started to slow down. His arm was pouring blood off of it, his clothing and Judith's carrier soaked in crimson. He pushed on though and as the two rounded a corner they could see the fence surrounding the giant construction site. It was visible but the amount of walkers separating them was overwhelming. There were no other options, both sides were filled with the dead and the site had possible cover. They began darting between the large equipment and piles of construction debris, both hiding from the dead. As they passed a large tractor Tyreese fell to his knees, the blood loss becoming to much to keep upright. Valentine grabbed his ashen face ordering, "Get up you can do this."

"I can't. Blacking out. Gonna fall on her." He mumbled, sweat poured off his face. Valentine looked at his arm and could see bone, tissue was hanging off and his whole side of his body was soaked in blood. Judith was whimpering, her hands and face were splattered red.

"Take her." He demanded stripping off the carrier she was in while kneeling on the ground. Valentine's eyes widened and she swallowed thickly. Carrying an infant while running through a herd of biters was not a situation she was comfortable with but she had to save Rick's daughter. Grabbing the pack she attached it to her front, connecting the straps to hold it securely. Tyreese looked up at her and placed a large hand on Judith's head saying goodbye to the infant he came to love as his own and mumbled, "Tell Sash I love 'er. Keep Judith safe for me."

Valentine nodded, her eyes feeling prickly and her vision blurring slightly. "Tyreese I'm sorry," she whimpered choking down a sob while giving him a brief hug. "Its ok. Just get Jude safe." He spoke hoarsely, tears welling in his eyes.

A walker came around the tractor's wheel and Valentine slammed her blade into it. When she turned back to Tyreese she found him no longer breathing. Taking a few deep breaths she unsheathed her knife and drove it into his temple before rolling him under the tractor. There was nothing more she could do, the dead would get him eventually. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before she began running to the next hiding spot, her legs sore and heart clashing now that she carried such vulnerable luggage. She needed to get to the group before they left without her because protecting the infant by herself was an overwhelming thought.

Taking out her machete she stabbed and sliced her way through corpses while putting a hand over Judith's fuzzy head. The little girl bounced against her chest as she jogged, Judith being so used to the nomadic life she wasn't upset at the jostling movement.

After ten minutes of dodging and fighting Valentine found herself within eyesight of the group. She could make out a large moving truck they were standing in and near. Making a run for it she drove her blade into a walker while kicking another's legs out. She ducked the grasped of large male biter and zigzagged through the horde. Valentine's heart had never beaten so fast, the muscle feeling as if it was going to break through her ribs and run away without her.

A skeletal walker stumbled into her path making the determined woman change course, a large semi-truck now blocking her path. Valentine ran directly at it with no hesitation in her long gate, her body sliding underneath it on her side before hopping up to run towards the fence. She caught a glimpse of Daryl and Rick clutching the fence, the men stabbing a long line of walkers to clear a path for her. Valentine swung her machete out, hacking into a rotten skull of a elderly woman adding more dark blood to her forearms. Evading a walker's claws she swept the legs out of another, the bodies writhing to get footing.

Judith started to cry and squirm on her chest, the little girl finally reaching her limit of patience. Valentine put a hand on her head to calm the baby and charged forward, her goal in sight but yet another undead body intercepted them. It's hands grabbing at her forearm as its gaping mouth aimed at Judith's soft head. Valentine screamed like a banshee, her protective instincts giving her strength she didn't know she had left. She kicked its leg, breaking the brittle femur and jammed her blade through its head. Yanking it out she clambered over a pile of bricks and finally reached the fence. Clawing her way up, Valentine threw her leg over the barbed wire, which dug into her clothing and skin.

Daryl and Rick were there to catch her as she almost tumbled over while kicking away the hands of a walker. Wrapping an arm over Judith's head to avoid the barbed wire she fell over as her body collapsed from exhaustion. They helped her to her feet and ran to the truck, some of the others fought off incoming dead while others jumped back inside.

Rick and Daryl helped her into the back of the truck, her legs shaking from excursion, her arm still wrapping Judith's head protectively. The door slammed shut and the vehicle began moving before anyone could sit down, a few tumbling to the ground.

"Tyreese and Gabriel?" Rick asked his eyes wide and panicked. Valentine was gasping for air but shook her head no, her body trembling with adrenaline. A few people started crying out and gasping at the news. With shaking hands she unclasped the backpack and handed Judith over to Rick. He grabbed her, clutching her to his chest and stared at Valentine intensely while Carol looked Judith over for injuries. Valentine felt guilty for Tyreese, she felt as if she failed to protect him while he cared for Judith. Her eyes found Sasha who was yanking away from Maggie's grasp, her eyes wet and mouth sneering in anger.

"I'm sorry," Valentine gasped put, her hands on her hips, sweat dripping from her temples. Rick shook his head and pulled her into an awkward embrace with Judith between them.

"Thank you. I... When I saw you out there..." His voice cracked making him pause and collect himself, his eyes clenched shut. "You've done more than I can ever repay you for."

Valentine swallowed thickly, the lump in her throat felt like cement. She gave him one jerky nod and patted his back. Rick let her go and stepped back to care for the crying Judith, the little girl soaked in Tyreese's blood.

Daryl stood nearby, his hands clenched into fists as if keeping himself from scooping Valentine up instantly. Stepping over to him on jello-like legs, she felt dizzy from the exhaustion. Daryl didn't wait another second, his trembling hands yanking her into his chest. Moving to the wall of the truck he cupped her head while his arm wrapped around her waist. She felt him taking in shuddered breaths, his nose pressed into her neck.

"Fuck Val..." He gasped, his breath hot on her sweaty skin, "Jesus girl."

"Gotta sit." She muttered, her legs giving out. Daryl helped her to the ground, "A'right. Ya A'right."

Tyreese's face and his last words were haunting Valentine, she kept picturing the wound and hearing his parting words. She glanced at Sasha who had lost not only her boyfriend but also her brother. The thought of losing Daryl had Valentine panicking, her arms snaking around the man. Daryl stroked her back with one hand while cradling her skull with the other, his fingers curled into her hair. "Shhh," he rasped, "Ya aright?"

Valentine crawled into his lap, her anxiety making them both disregard everyone watching. "Yeah, just…" she croaked, her head shaking back and forth while digging her forehead into his collarbone. She curled her fingers into the leather of his vest, as she let out jagged breaths. Tipping her head up she looked at him with pleading and frantic eyes. "It can't happen. I can't do it." She breathed, "I won't do it again."

"Do what Val?" he rasped, his concerned eyes scanning her panicked face. He cupped her cheek, wiping away the wetness from her flushed skin.

"I won't lose another person I love." She growled with such fierceness her voice trembled. "I won't fucking lose you, Daryl."


	35. Chapter 35

Daryl stared at Valentine with slightly panicked eyes before he crushed her into his chest, burying his face into the curve of her neck. Taking deep breathes of her scent, a mixture of blood, sweat and forest. Pressing his mouth flush with her ear he breathed, "Ya ain't losin' me darlin'."

His breathing was ragged as he pulled back, his hands cupping her cheeks as their surroundings began to filter back into his consciousness. The gazes on them and the idea of being observed had him clearing his throat awkwardly. Valentine gripped his wrists, keeping his hands on her and murmured, "Don't go."

"I won't. Just relax, gotta be tired." He rasped, his eyes flitting to the others before returning to her shadowed eyes. Valentine's head lolled with the car's sharp turn and replied, "You have no idea."

She fell asleep as soon as her head lay on Daryl's thigh, his hands brushing hair off her forehead and temple. He stared at her while watching the roll of her eyes under her closed lids. The images of her running through a field full of undead, a baby strapped to her chest made his lungs seize and heart still. Daryl wasn't sure if he had ever been so scared, the idea of having almost watched Judith and her being torn apart was crushing him. Glancing up he saw Rick watching them intently, the little girl clinging to his chest in a set of new clothing. His eyes were just as traumatized as Daryl's. A silent agreement passed between the men to let their disagreement go. There were more important things to worry about, like the girls they clung too.

The moving truck slowed to a stop and they heard the doors open. Glenn, Tara and Abraham were clearing whatever shelter they found. A few minutes passed when the recognizable knock rapped on the wall and the roll up door flung open.

"Honey we're home!" Abe drawled.

Glenn and Abraham were smiling widely and behind them was a old motel with two levels of rooms. It was off the beaten path having been built on the old highway opposed to the newer and much more traveled interstate.

"It's all clear. Rooms are dusty but clean." Glenn informed as he helped people jump down the from truck. Daryl helped Valentine sit up, her eyes groggy from the nap. As she tried to climb to her feet her body froze up and she yelped out painfully. She was gripping her calf while cursing up a storm, "godfuckingdamnit."

Daryl held her up as she about collapsed, his eyes wide in worry. "What's wrong?"

He rasped, his hands holding her upright as her legs collapsed.

"Jesus Christ." She moaned, "worst charlie horse fucking ever."

Daryl lip curled slightly and he teased, "all this whining for a cramp? Jesus woman."

"Just a cramp!?" She gasped, her eyes amused, "just for that you're carrying me."

"Oh really?" He drawled, his lip twitching, "don't s'pose I got a choice in the matter?"

"No. Pick me up slave boy." She snarked while he coughed over a laugh, his cheeks burning as others chuckled at her words. Valentine smirked, adding, "please."

"Fine." He grumbled while sweeping her up bridal style, his narrowed eyes sparkling with humor. "Never again woman."

* * *

Daryl took Valentine to one of the rooms the group was going to use. She was still beyond exhausted, the running and fighting as well as the adrenaline crash was taking its toll.

Rick told him to take the night off watch rotation, Daryl who normally would've refused, agreed wholeheartedly. He needed to spend the night making sure Valentine was not only really there but healthy.

After grabbing a can of kidney beans and two tiny boxes of raisins Daryl joined Valentine in their room. It was a dated room but clean considering the hell holes they'd slept in before. She had stripped the dust covers off and lay on the white cotton sheets. Valentine still wore her boots and weapons. Lying flat on her stomach, Valentine had one arm and one leg hanging off the bed. It was obvious she had barely even made it onto the mattress before falling asleep.

Setting down the food and sliding his bow off his shoulder, Daryl crossed the orange shag carpet quietly. The man knelt down, his nimble fingers unlacing her boots and weapons belt. She stirred as soon as her buckle was opened, her hand grabbing his wrist tightly.

"Jus' me darlin'." He rasped, freezing until her eyes cleared. "Gettin' ya more comfortable."

Nodding drowsily she let his hand go and mumbled, "Sorry."

"Nothin' t'be sorry for. Kinda expected a blade." He murmured with a curled lip. Snorting she rolled onto her back as her belt was removed and set aside.

"Wanna eat or sleep?"

Her stomach growled at the question making him grin, "Food it is."

* * *

Valentine woke hours later when she felt Daryl's hand sliding up and down her hip, his calloused fingertips sliding under her shirt to her ribs. She could feel him tracing the scars but more than anything she could feel him reassuring himself she was real.

"M'here." She rasped, her hand stroking Daryl's wrist and forearm. "I'm not going anywhere."

His face pressed into the back of her neck, his mouth leaving opened mouth kisses along the curve. Valentine moaned as Daryl's teeth nipped and scraped a tantalizing path along her neck and jaw.

"Fuck." She hissed when his thumb and forefinger found her pebbled nipple, a deep moan vibrating through her ribs as he rutted against the curve of her ass. Daryl groaned into her overheated skin, "Damn sweetheart." His voice was rougher than asphalt. "Noises ya make r'gonna kill me."

"Dare." She gasped as his hand slide down her stomach, his fingertips dancing along the edge of her pants before pulling the zipper down.

"I got ya darlin'," He assured, his breath panted against her cheek. "I'm gonna take care of ya." A large palm sunk in between her soft thighs, calloused fingers trailed through her wet lips.

"Oh god." She moaned, "Fuck Daryl. More. M-more."

Thick fingers dipped into her heat, the curling action making her writhe into his palm desperately. Valentine rolled her hips with his thrusts, moaning loudly as his thumb pressed roughly against her clit. Everything was overwhelming, the friction of his fingertips and hot wet breathe against her neck. Every plunge of his long fingers brought her closer and closer to her finish.

"That's it." Daryl encouraged while sinking his fingers as deep as they would go, "Cum for me darlin'. Give it t'me now."

The words pushed her over the edge, her body arcing and bowing while trembling violently. Pleasure pulsed through her whole shaking frame, while her lungs sucked air greedily. Daryl's hand stroked her through her orgasm while sucking a seductive path behind her ear while panting, "So damn hot."

With clumsy hands Valentine stripped off her clothing before pulling at Daryl's. They kissed deeply, his hands gripping her hips while sliding in between her thighs. Wrapping legs around his waist, she pulled him closer, "Fuck me Daryl. Hard."

He groaned at the words before plunging inside her, his cock throbbing in her heat. The couple moved smoothly, bodies rolling and hips snapping forward. Valentine clung to him while swirling her hips as he thrust downward. The movement made him groan before warning, "Fuckin' keep that up and it'll be over too soon sweetheart."

Laughing breathlessly, Valentine murmured, "Well we don't want that."

Faster than she thought possible, Daryl rolled them over, her body now astride his. Rough hands slid up her ribs onto her breasts while Valentine rolled and ground herself onto Daryl's hips. A guttural groan escaped his parted lips as his hooded eyes burned into hers.

Her breath caught in her throat as he bent his legs to get leverage, driving himself into her from below. Valentine rose and fell with him, the rhythm natural as if practiced frequently. Daryl slid smoothly inside her tight walls as he kneaded her breasts.

"Dare," she gasped as he cupped her curve, thumbs and fingers twisting her nipples firmly. Her walls clenched his dick, her stomach tightening at the swelling of the head inside her. "Fuck," he gritted out, his finger rubbing hard together, the pulling of the overly sensitive flesh triggered Valentine's orgasm. With her head thrown back and mouth wide open she dug her nails into Daryl's chest, silently screaming with clenched eyes.

"Lookit me." he ordered roughly, "Fuckin lookit me."

Gasping for air she snapped her eyes open to watch the man who had become her touchstone come unglued below her. Large hands squeezed into her hips and waist, fingers gripping with bruising force.

"Sonofa," he growled, his hips arching off the bed into her wet walls. "Fuck Fuck Val."

Valentine was breathless, her hips rolling slowly over him, her clit rubbing against his hot skin. The slick friction and the sounds ripping from Daryl's throat like prayers caused a heat to blaze through her already shuddering frame.

"Ohgod." She moaned, her body curling into him as yet another orgasm rolled through her sweaty frame. They kissed lazily, tongues sweeping the others lips with opened mouthed gasps. Rolling to their side Valentine kept her leg draped over Daryl's hip to keep him buried inside her.

A moan escaped him when she clenched around his still hard dick. "M'gonna need a minute darlin'." He chuckled, his hands sweeping the hair from her face. Valentine snorted, "M'too."

They lay quietly and Valentine thought he had fallen asleep when his hoarse voice brought her back from drowsing herself.

"Val… what ya said in the truck." He trailed off, his fingers tapping her hip nervously. She nodded but stayed silent, her nerves now making her stiffen. When Valentine spoke in the truck she had slipped up and exposed something that had been subconsciously running around her mind for a while now. It was a niggling thought that usually crossed her mind in the quiet times but after running for her life Valentine couldn't hold it in any longer.

She had confessed to loving him in a panicked state in front of a truckload of people. There was no way in her mind that Daryl wouldn't be furious with her. It had to have been embarrassing for the private man. A spotlight on feelings he could possibly not even reciprocate.

"M'sorry," she murmured when he stayed quiet. His eyes narrowed slightly and he rasped, "Ya regret it?"

"No… yes. But no."

"Wha ya gettin' at?" he growled, his body tensing under her thigh.

"I regret sayin' it in front of everybody like that and after almost dying," she explained looking away, "I don't want you to think it was just because of facing death… been thinking about it for awhile now and its not because I was scared-"

She was cut off by his crashing lips and grasping hands. He buried curled fingers into her hair, while plunging his tongue into her gasping mouth. After a few minutes of frantic kissing he spoke hoarsely into her neck, his eyes avoiding hers. "Don' know why ya do but… I uh.. I love you too. Don' know if I'll be any good at it but I'll do my best."

Pulling him closer Valentine kissed him gently, her lips teasing his while raking her hands through his hair. "You're doin' perfect Daryl. You're all I need."

* * *

Valentine looked down at the severed limbs and congealed blood. The ground soaked by what could only be called a massacre. Toeing the jagged edge of an arm of an adult male, she could tell it was from a living human. The blood was dried but still dark red, not the tar like sludge biters oozed. Pursing her lips she wandered towards the others who were arguing about their next step now that they found Noah's camp raided and slaughtered. She watched Michonne speak adamantly about still heading to Washington despite the lies Eugene had spun them.

Valentine wasn't sure about heading into the city. She had been on raids to the edges with Negan's men and what she had seen wasn't very promising.

"I've been to the outskirts," she spoke to the group for the first time in days, their heads snapping up at the sound of her hoarse voice. The last two weeks had been trying for Valentine and she had yet to recover from the overwhelming aspects. She hadn't spoken to Rick since returning his daughter to him and when eating or traveling hadn't spoken much to the others either. Rick's gaze was too intense for her to hold so she focused on Michonne. "It was overrun."

"But there could be more right? I mean you didn't go all the way in?" she asked with wide eyes and yearning in her voice.

Shrugging Valentine kicked a piece of broken glass and muttered, "Anything's possible I guess."

* * *

The trip north to Noah's camp was a bust so they pulled out of their makeshift camp in the woods to hunt for a structure to stay in. Valentine sat between Daryl and Rick in the large moving van; Daryl driving while Rick read a map. The others were in the back, most being completely worn out and upset. They'd lost Tyreese a week ago and the discovery of Noah's camp hadn't helped morale.

"If we head another couple miles north we'll be near a few farmsteads and an old highway that leads to Washington."

Daryl grunted, one hand drumming the steering wheel while he chewed his lip. Valentine placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed it, the woman practically seeing the stress roll off him.

"Val." Rick started making her turn towards him. Daryl had tensed at the sound, his eyes cutting to the other side of the truck. He was still pissed at the man but they'd dropped the argument ever since they almost watched Judith and her die. Silently they agreed to let the past be the past but inside Daryl's head, Rick still did her wrong.

"I want to apologize for what happened in the woods that day." Rick rasped, his fingers tapping the armrest nervously. "What I did to you was wrong."

"What about what you did to them?" She asked, her voice calm not argumentative. It seemed like she was just testing the waters rather than looking for a fight.

"I stand by my decision. I shouldn't have forced your hand though." He answered, his eyes filled with guilt. "After everything you went though… I knew better and it was wrong. It won't happen again."

Valentine looked away and stared out the front window, Daryl could see her chewing her lip while nodding. "Alright." She mumbled, without further discussion. It was obvious she didn't agree with him about the men but she wasn't going to fight him, it was pointless since Rick had clearly made up his mind. 'Pick your battles,' Daryl thought wryly.

A sign up ahead had Valentine leaning forward with squinted eyes. Pointing she offered, "it probably has fences."

The peeling sign was mostly obscured by weeds but the words, "indoor storage units" jumped out. Rick hummed, scrubbing his beard thoughtfully.

"Might be supplies too." Daryl added, "Merle used to rob those places, found all kinds of shit."

Valentine grinned at him making him cringe in embarrassment for having such an asshole for a brother. Rolling his eyes he muttered, "shuddup."

Bumping her shoulder against his, Valentine confessed, "I didn't even think about what would be in them."

Smirking Daryl rolled his shoulder lazily, "that's what m'here for."

"The brains of the operation huh?" She teased with amused eyes.

"Don' forget beauty Val." Rick chimed in, "with eyes like those…." He trailed off while giving Daryl a shit-eating grin. Valentine cracked up bending at the waist while laughing breathlessly.

Daryl glared at Rick but his lip was twitching as he smothered a smile.

"Shuddup." He muttered without his normal bite. It had been awhile since he and Rick had shared anything other than sharp words. Daryl realized how much he'd missed talking with his friend and brother.

"Just sayin'" Rick rasped while smirking out the front window, "all the lady's at the prison liked 'em."

Valentine snorted loudly, "I did hear that. Don't even get me started on the arms. Lordy."

It was Daryl's turn to snort and then order, "A'right enough."

He was blushing now which pissed him off but seeing Valentine smile and laugh after the weeks they'd had was a welcoming sight. Lifting an arm he pulled her into his side, her head resting against his shoulder. Ever since he confessed his feelings towards her, Daryl had been more affectionate. He couldn't find it in himself to not show her how he felt. It seemed wrong to hold it in.

* * *

The storage unit lot was surrounded by tall iron fencing, the pointed tops curving outwards to prevent climbing. Inside they could see a couple rows of outdoor storage units as well as a large building holding the indoor and at one time air-conditioned units. There was also a building housing the office and what looked from the road to be a manager's apartment. Pulling around the back they scouted the perimeter as well as the inside, the whole property looking empty and untouched.

"Let's park, get a group to clear and then we'll secure it for the night." Rick instructed, motioning for Daryl to park down an alley nearby.

Hopping out of the cab, Daryl joined the others at the roll up door. The vehicle was like a hot box causing the group to leave the door half open most of the time for air circulation. Rick informed the others of the plan and a group was formed to clear the property while some kept look out. Daryl headed up a group to search the indoor units while Rick took another to clear the exterior. He would check the fences and look for weakness in the panels. Glenn took a couple people to check out the office and apartment.

Valentine followed Daryl as they reached the entrances to the interior units. Glancing at her, Daryl watched her smirk, the curl so soft and affectionate it made his chest ache. Tapping her with his elbow playfully he cocked an eyebrow silently asking if she was ready. Nodding once, Valentine removed a machete with a ring of metal on leather.

Daryl peered back at Abraham and Rosita who both nodded giving him the go-ahead. Popping the lock with a crow bar, the group moved into the dark structure. Valentine held a flashlight allowing Daryl to see the narrow hallways while aiming his bow at any possible threats. The hallways were clean, not a drop of blood or scrap of trash. It looked as if the place was untouched, a rare commodity now.

There were two floors so when the first was swept through by the trio, they began climbing the pitch black stairwell. Their shoes echoed on the metal steps, Abraham and Rosita being not nearly as quiet as Daryl and Valentine. He couldn't help but glare back at the two and shush them. Glancing at Valentine he saw her smirk but didn't comment.

"Sorry twinkle toes, I ain't some ninja like you." Abe drawled with a curled lip. Daryl grunted in reply, he'd deal with the man's insults later but for now he was focusing on the sound of shuffled feet up ahead. The smell hit them when they got the door to the second level open. A thick curtain of rot and mold.

"Damn that's ripe." Rosita mumbled through her hand now covering her nose.

"Smells like a latrine filled with assholes in the dead of July." Abraham commented, his nose wrinkled up.

"Shuddup and open your fuckin eyes." Valentine snapped, her blade poised and ready. Daryl's lip twitched at her demands but he hid it from her. He knew she would get pissy if she saw him amused at her angry voice.

Moving slowly they found a few rotting corpses, both having been put down at some point. Daryl stabbed there heads with the sharp point of his blade just in case. The last thing they needed was another incident like Hershel's near fatal bite wound from a seemingly dead walker.

A few more turns and they found the source of the shuffling feet. A women with a giant bite wound had turned, left to roam the dead-end hallways for however long it had been since she died. Valentine frowned as the walker turned around, her large pregnant belly protruding out of a torn maternity shirt.

"Fuck." He cursed under his breath, his bow releasing a sharp bolt into the woman's eyes socket. Glancing at Valentine he watched her swallow thickly before murmuring, "I'm going to let Rick now it's clear."

She exited the hallway and he could hear her boots jog down the stairwell.

"She lose a kid?" Abraham asked, shouldering his rifle.

Daryl turned his narrowed eyes onto the tall man and grumbled, "ain't your business."

"Just wondering… Lost mine too." he replied softly looking surprised at his own confession, before clearing his throat, "I'll help get the bodies out."

* * *

Valentine stepped outside, the sight of the pregnant walker made her blood run cold. Seeing Rick come around the corner signaling the all clear she informed him of the three bodies but otherwise untouched structure.

"Good," he rasped motioning for the others to pull the van in and secure the gates. When he glanced back at her he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She replied, the woman not wanting to revisit the sight verbally. "Where do you want to start inside or outside?"

"Let start inside, we can stay in a couple units tonight. Tomorrow we'll tackle the outside and depending on what we find, we'll check out the area too." Rick instructed as a few others joined them, adding, "We might be able to make this place work for a while.

Valentine nodded in agreement and nodded to Carl, "C'mon. Let's go hunt for some comics."

Carl smirked and jogged to her side, his eye sparkling with excitement. "That alright Dad?"

" 'course." He rasped, winking at Valentine, "Have fun."

* * *

"Holy shit." Carl muttered pulling out a giant sword. Waving it around he grinned, "It's a replica from Highlander!"

"How the fuck do you know about highlander?"

"I found a comic once." He answered, slamming the sharp blade through a cardboard box. Valentine snorted, "Careful. Your Dad will kill me if he sees you with that thing."

The teen nodded and then smiled slyly, "Wanna try it out?"

She couldn't help but grin widely, taking the large blade from him and looking for her first target.

* * *

A loud crash had Daryl jogging down the twisting hallways to the last place he saw Valentine and Carl. As he turned the corner he found Valentine pulling a sword out of a broken mannequin's torso, Carl laughing hysterically as she shook the plastic body stuck on the end of the long blade.

"What the hell?" Glenn muttered from his side, "That's just frightening."

Valentine looked back at them and blushed, the mannequin finally sliding from the weapon. "Carl dared me." she muttered making Daryl snort in amusement.

"Right." He drawled, with a cocked eyebrow, "I'm sure it was all his idea."

Her lips curled slightly and she shrugged, "What, like you wouldn't do the same damn thing Dixon. Wanna try it out?"

"Does a bear shit in the woods?"

* * *

Valentine and Carl were putting the finishing touches on a fence repair when Carl's hand slipped. The sharp edge of the metal fence brace slicing open his palm. His yelp and the gush of blood had Valentine racing over to him. She yanked her long sleeve shirt off and pushed it into his hand. Carl cried out, his legs buckling from the pain.

"Hold on Carl. You'll be fine." She spoke calmly despite her heart pounding loudly in her ears. "Come on hold this tightly. Stop the bleeding. I'll help you walk."

She pulled his good arm over her shoulder and wrapped her arm around his narrow waist, her fingers curling under his belt. They walked toward the storage units, Valentine using her other hand to hold the fabric into his palm.

"Doin' good." She reassured him, the boy's feet stumbling over each other. She looked down and saw his front covered in blood, nausea rolling through her as guilt choked her. Rick had trusted her to watch his kid while the others searched the surrounding areas for food, something that was slim pickings in the storage units. Now the teen was injured at Valentine was left feeling like a failure.

"It's bad Val." He whimpered, a shuddered breath vibrating through his ribs, "fuck it hurts. M'dizzy."

"You're just breathin' too fast, keep it slow. Breath through the pain. Ok in through your nose, count to five and out through your mouth." She instructed, the woman teaching him her tricks at suffering through pain.

Valentine felt him taking a slow deep breath and release it in shuddering gasps. "Good job keep going. In and then out. I can fix your hand. It's gonna be fine." She assured.

They finally arrived to the storage units the group had been using, finding Abraham and Glenn on watch. They both looked wide-eyed at the scene. "What happened?" Glenn exclaimed rushing forward.

"Cut his hand. Needs stitches. Get me some clean water and towels. I got first aid in my green backpack." Valentine listed off as she walked Carl inside. "See you made it. Now I'm gonna clean it and stitch it ok."

Carl nodded and let her lead him to the makeshift shelter. She had him lay down on one of the sleep rolls. Carl kept the pressure on his hand while Valentine cleaned her hands and got the thread ready to use. A sharp intake of air behind her made Valentine's eyes shoot back to see what was wrong. She connected eyes with both Glenn and Abraham. They were looking at her now half exposed back, the tank top she was wearing leaving plenty of skin naked. The deeply scarred wings exposed to new eyes for the first time since the prison.

Turning back she focused on her task at hand than the embarrassment she was feeling. Carl moaned as she peeled the shirt away and got a look at the actual wound.

"Ok it looks worse than it is. I'm going to rinse it with water, stitch it and then wrap it. Ok?" She told Carl everything to keep him calm. "It's gonna hurt buddy ok. We got any booze?"

Glenn gave her an incredulous look but Valentine only raised her eyebrows. Abraham handed her a bottle of whiskey and a glass. Valentine poured him barely a shot worth and instructed, "This is gonna taste like shit, swallow it fast like cold medicine. It'll burn and you'll cough but it'll mellow the pain ok?"

Carl chugged the ounce of liquor with a grimace. He coughed but laid back with a grin, "Dad's gonna kick your ass."

"Whatever. He'll be happy I'm sewing you up." She held his hand in her lap to keep him from pulling away. "Glenn I need you to help hold his arm still. He may pull and twitch without meaning to."

The man kneeled by Carl's head and smiled down at him, his hands holding the teen's arm and shoulder, "Sorry Carl."

"It's a'right." Carl slurred with droopy eyes. Valentine smirked and then got to work. She began sewing the large gash, which was actually a pretty bad cut. Valentine had down played it but it was a serious injury. He would need antibiotics and would be lucky if he didn't have permanent nerve damage.

Her hands worked fast and gently, the stitches lining his hand quickly. Abraham walked over and looked at her work commenting, "Need to tighten 'em."

"Not on the palm. He needs to be able to flex it or he'll pull them out and it'll heal badly." Valentine replied while her hands still worked.

"How do you know?" He asked gruffly sounding slightly offended but more curious.

"I'm sure you can understand my intimate knowledge of wound care." She answered blandly while she tied the last thread. Glancing at Carl she saw him sleeping and moved to wipe up the blood and disinfect the palm. His eyes shot open when he felt the alcohol, his mouth gasping out in pain. Carl growled and his arm automatically tried to pull away. Glenn held him still and soon Valentine started wrapping his hand with gauze. The sound of cars approaching caught they ears causing Abraham to jog out to meet the returning supply run group. Rick was going to be upset but the dirty work was done. Valentine looked down at her chest and arms, both of which were covered in blood. Carl lay there with a grimace but was no logger struggling.

"You did great Carl." Valentine assured him, "you're all stitched. Twenty of 'em. No more sharp things for you."

He laughed hoarsely and held his hand up to look at it. He tried bending it but winced. "No moving it ok." Valentine ordered as the door flew open as Rick charged in.

"Is he ok?" He exclaimed crouching down by his son's side.

Carl smiled, "Val got me drunk."

Valentine rolled her eyes and muttered, "Ass. I save your hand and you rat on me?"

Rick look confused but more concerned then angry.

"He cut his hand on the fencing. I've cleaned it, stitched and wrapped it. He needs antibiotics. Did you find any?"

"No." He growled, his hand scrubbing his face, "fuck."

Valentine put her hand on his arm and tried to calm him, "It's ok. Well keep it clean. I'll go tomorrow. Hit that place a few miles from here."

Valentine collected all the bloody gauze and soiled shirts, then climbed to her feet. When she turned around she was met with a lot of curious eyes, Abraham, Rosita and Eugene watching the scene. Clearing her throat she muttered, "Excuse me."

She brushed past everyone to dispose of the bloody trash in the fire barrel and wash the shirt in the laundry bin. Feeling their eyes burn curious stares into her, Valentine kept her eyes down and ignored the deep burn of shame.

'Now they all know the real you Val. Just another monster in a world of monsters.' She thought angrily.

Someone joined her at the laundry bin and crouched next to her kneeling form. Cutting her eyes sideways she saw Rick. His expression filled with concern and sorrow.

"Thank you for savin' Carl again. M'sorry about..." He started but Valentine interrupted, "t's fine. They deserve to know what their living with."

"You're not a what Val. You're a person. A fucking amazing person. Okay?" he assured her, his hand landing on her forearm. She chewed her lip to keep from crying but couldn't hold back the tears. Valentine looked up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks and rasped, "Jesus. I was so scared when I saw his hand."

Rick leaned closer and pulled her into his chest, his arm around her shoulders. "Glad you were with him. It's bad huh?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna go find drugs. It was deep."

Rick pulled back and wiped her cheek saying firmly, "You and Daryl go, take whoever you feel comfortable with and find supplies. Well hold down the fort."

Turning back to her laundry she rung out the cotton and then stood. Rick walked with her to the building where they were met with still curious gazes of the rest of the group.

Swallowing down her embarrassment for not only exposing her dirty little secret but also crying like a baby, Valentine cleaned up and replaced her layers before returning to the others. She found Carl sitting up eating a bowl of soup while Michonne showed him the candy stash she found. Daryl walked in with a load of squirrels, dressed and ready for cooking. He gave her a small smirk before raising an eyebrow at Carl.

"He got cut," she explained following him into the unit where Carol was starting dinner. "We need to go find him antibiotics tomorrow."

Daryl looked worried and asked, "You fix em up?"

She nodded and leaned against a pile of boxes, "He'll be fine. I'm gonna walk the perimeter and finish the fence panel we were working on." Daryl nodded and tipped his head to the door, "Let's go."

Rick hollered for Daryl causing him to pause a moment, "I'll meet ya outside."

Valentine squeezed his bicep and headed outside away from everyone.

* * *

Carl watched Valentine and Daryl walk away to finish the fence panel he cut his hand on. The teen felt like such a spaz for cutting himself. Rolling his eyes he picked at the gauze wrapping his palm and wrist. Valentine had really saved his ass... Again. She was always doing it and part of Carl wanted to be angry. He wanted to be able to take care of himself and his family but he knew he wasn't ready yet. His dad and everyone else had taught him a lot but there seemed to always be more to learn.

"How'd she get 'em?" Abraham asked sitting on a frumpy couch next to Carl. The teen looked over at him and snapped, "Isn't your business."

Abraham cocked an eyebrow and held up a hand in surrender. "Ya sound like the redneck. I was just curious kid. They weren't exactly unnoticeable and we kinda deserve to know who were liven' with."

Carl shifted uncomfortably and muttered, "She got 'em at the place we met her at. She saved me, my dad, Daryl and Michonne. The guy there was bad. Worse than Terminus. Worse than anything any of us have ever seen. Probably will ever see."

Abrahams eyes narrowed and asked, "So what ya'll got caught or somethin?" Carl noticed a few others we're listening and felt bad for talking about it. He didn't want to betray Valentine but he wanted them to stop judging her.

"We were taken. Forced to stay, to work, scavenge and stuff. Val was there for like a year. He made her fight people to the death. They'd have weapons and she wouldn't. She fought guys, women sometimes more than one person. He made her kill people." Carl picked at his threadbare jeans, pursing his lips as he tried to keep form exposing her too much, "If she did something he didn't like he'd... punish her in front of everybody. Those scars are from him, from Lucille. His baseball bat wrapped in barbwire."

The people who hadn't known her story were staring with open mouths and wide eyes. Carl could tell they were full of questions but he wasn't going to answer them.

"She didn't speak when we met her. She just... survived. She saved my life from walkers and got punished. He carved up her back while everybody watched. Eventually she got us out, killed him. She saved me then like she saved me now." Carl finished quietly his eyes narrowing. He looked up at the others and spoke with conviction, "So who we're livin' with is a person who has sacrificed herself for strangers. We're lucky to have her. Lucky she calls us family. So don't treat her like shit and don't stare at her like ya'll are."

Carl watched as some looked down shamefully and saw his dad leaning on the storage unit's doorway. He smiled at his son and gave him a reassuring nod. Carl smirked and looked back at the empty bowl of food in his lap, "Is there any more soup?"

* * *

Daryl finished tying the fence panel in place and stood up. Valentine smiled and thanked him for helping. "Thanks for hunting today." She spoke while they walked the fence line. Daryl snorted and drawled, "don't gotta thank me. It's what I do."

She smiled at him her hand reaching out and grabbing his leather vest. Valentine pulled him to a stop and stepped into his chest, her hand resting above his heart. Daryl bent his down and brushed his lips across her cheek before landing on her lips. They kissed slowly, Daryl's rough hands framing her face while his thumbs stroked her cheeks.

"Ya ok?" He rasped closely to her ear, his hands trailing down her neck and along her shoulders before wrapping around her whole body. Valentine leaned heavily into Daryl's chest and soaked up the warming affection. "M'fine. I'm sure Rick told ya they saw... me."

"Nah they didn't."

"Daryl they saw my back."

"Your scars ain't you. You're Val."

"And who's that Daryl? I don't know who that is."

"Val is the woman I love and I ain't gonna let anyone, even you think bad of yourself. Ya done more for this family than all us together. If they ain't seein that I'll make em."

She smiled up at him and kissed his chin, "I love you, Daryl."

He looked down with a tiny grin and then crashed his mouth onto hers. Valentine moaned as his hands dug into her hair, his fingers twisting in her blonde locks. She slid her hands up his shirt, her fingers tracing the muscle of his abdomen and along his ribs.

"Fuck Val." He groaned against her mouth as her hands left goose bumps in their wake. "We're getting' our own unit tonight." She murmured into his ear while his mouth trailed along her jaw, "And we're sleepin' in."

* * *

"I need to speak to Sasha before I go." Valentine spoke lowly to Daryl who was loading a small vehicle for them to take on a medicine run for Carl. They were going with Noah, Glenn and Rosita to a small town a dozen miles away that had a few stores that could have medicine.

"Do ya need company?" He rasped looking sightly worried. Shaking her head Valentine murmured, "no I just... I gotta give her a message from Ty."

Frowning Daryl pulled her into his chest and whispered, "I'll be here when you're done."

Nodding stiltedly she pulled away and headed to the roof access ladder, the other woman taking up the sniper position above them. Sasha had pulled away from everyone, her eyes hard and posture tense at all times. No one could get close except Maggie and Tara.

As she got to the top of the structure she found Maggie sitting off to the side reading while Sasha kept watch, her eye pressed into her scope as she scanned the area.

"Hey Sasha." Valentine spoke cautiously, "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

The woman glared at her, the anguish inside her plain as day. Maggie stood up, setting her book aside, "I'll take over Sash."

Huffing out a breath she stood and wandered towards Valentine, her brow furrowed in confusion. "What?" She drawled, "I'm busy."

"I just... I wanted to talk to you about Ty."

Growling at her, "well I don't."

"I need to... He wanted me too." She spoke, her words ending in an almost whisper.

Sasha face fractured at the realization of what Valentine was going to talk about, Tyreese's last moments and words. Valentine took a jagged breath, swallowing a sob as the memory of Tyreese's bloody arm and tear filled eyes flashed through her mind. Taking a shaky breath she began to describe that days tragic events, "Tyreese saved my life and Judith's life. He was bitten on the arm protecting Jude. He fought through it though and got us to cover. He lost a lot of blood and he didn't want to risk falling while carrying her. After taking her I sat with him. He was not in a lot of pain because of the blood loss."

Sasha had silent tears rolling down her face but she seemed to be calmed by the knowledge.

Valentine swallowed but her throat was dry. She closed her eyes momentarily as his final words echoed through her head. Slowly opening them Valentine spoke with in a fragile tone, "He told me to tell you he loved you... V-very much." Sasha let out a sob and covered her mouth as if trying to smother it.

"He said, keep Judith safe for me and he passed moments later. It was quiet. I made sure he wouldn't change and I laid him down under the tractor. I... I'm very sorry for not being able to bring him back to you."

Sasha was gasping while tears rolled down her face to drip onto her shirt. The sorrow filled woman scrubbed her face roughly and asked, "is that all?"

Nodding once Valentine glanced at Maggie who was obviously listening to the conversation. Sasha swallowed thickly and spoke hoarsely, "thanks for putting him down."

The stoic woman walked back to her perch, her hands out waiting for her rifle back. Maggie handed it over and looked at Valentine, mouthing 'thank you'.

Nodding again Valentine headed back to the ladder knowing Daryl was waiting below for her. They needed to leave and find antibiotics for Carl before his hand became infected. There was no more time to waste.


	36. Chapter 36

The group pulled into the outskirts of a town with a few possible stores who at one time stocked medicine. They needed antibiotics but would settle for anything to help with fever and wound care. Carl's hand wasn't infected yet and it would be best if they could avoid it from happening.

"You three take the Walgreens, Val and me are gonna hit the doctor's office up the road." Daryl instructed, Glenn looking as if he wanted to argue about splitting up but Daryl beat him to the punch, "It'll be faster and we can handle it."

"Alright." Glenn conceded, "One hour or we'll come looking for you."

"Sure thing Shortstack." Daryl quipped, "Try not to get lost."

"Shuddup Dixon." Glenn muttered but grinned, "Try not to get distracted." The man wiggled his eyebrows, which made Daryl ears burn, making Glenn laugh.

Valentine rolled her eyes and muttered, "Let's go."

The pair headed down the trash filled streets, a few dead bodies lay rotting in the sun. The smell was wafting through the tiny roads making Valentine's nose wrinkle.

"Somethin' smells bad." She muttered while they edged their way closer to the doctor's office.

"Everythin' smells bad nowadays Val." Daryl commented with a grin. Giving him a wry look she murmured, "Smartass."

The man chuckled while sliding through a gap in a fenceline to cross a overgrown field. On the otherside of the lot was the back of a tiny doctors office. Valentine could see the place had been raided already, its back door hanging wide open.

"Ain't gonna have what we need." Daryl muttered, his body low as they wove through the waist high grass. Valentine followed closely, her eyes scanning the area while watching her feet, the grass was so high it hid everything dangerous.

"Maybe the others will get lucky." She replied, the couple finally reaching the structure.

Knocking on the side Daryl listened as the unsteady feet of a walker crunched on glass and broken furniture. The man in a sweater vest stumbled into the sunshine, his torn up arms showing Valentine how he died. Daryl's bolt pierced through it's right eye effortlessly, the corpse falling to the ground with a loud thud.

When everything was silent the pair headed inside the trashed office building. With a flashlight out and weapons up Daryl cleared the whole complex with Valentine on his tail. Every cabinet seemed to be opened, some pried with crowbars and other's smashed open with blunt objects. Furniture was overturned and windows broken. Whoever had gone through the place was thorough.

"Fuck," Daryl grunted, kicking a empty box labeled IV bags. "Should head back. We ain't findin' nothing in this town."

"Probably right." Valentine replied, stepping over a coatrack and bypassing a pile of broken glass. "Whoever came through here knew what to look for."

After scanning any cabinets not opened Valentine came back with one box of band-aids and a small bottle of hand sanitizer. Daryl's jaw was set tight and she could see the stress beginning to fill him. They needed to make sure Carl didn't get sick from his injury and the only way to assure that was to have antibiotics.

"A'right. Let's go." He drawled, his teeth chewing into his bottom lip. "Let's go back the longer way, see if we find anything along the way."

"Sounds good." She answered, following him out the back door and to the opposite direction they came. If they circled around they could meet up with the group before they left for the rendezvous point.

The smell kept getting stronger as they walked and the more nervous Valentine got. The hair on the back of her neck was standing on end and her grip tightened on her machete.

"Somethin's wrong." Daryl muttered from in front of her. "Ya feel it?"

"Yeah." She replied her dark eyes scanning the trees and forest floor. "It smells worse."

"Gotta be a herd." Daryl whispered, his back ramrod straight and his ears turned to the wind to catch any stray sound. The couple stayed still for what felt like hours until Daryl rasped, "I hear walkers but they ain't getting' closer. Maybe stuck somewhere."

"Wanna go see? Make sure they won't be a problem." Valentine asked her eyes catching Daryl's strained ones. The man nodded, his lip firmly chewed between his teeth, "Careful."

"Always." She murmured back with a grin.

Daryl led them to a chain-link fence surrounding a warehouse of some kind. The long building looked to be a distribution center for a grocery chain. Glancing over his shoulder at her with something akin to hope Daryl rasped, "Ya think it's empty?"

"I don't know. Seeing the office I'd say yeah but smelling it? May be too overrun for someone to have gotten to it."

"A'right," he planned out loud, "We go round, see what we see. If it looks like it ain't been hit we bring back others."

Nodding she ticked her chin telling him to head out, her body was tense and mind sharp. The smell was becoming stronger the closer they got to the loading docks and Valentine couldn't help but think of Sanctuary. It smelled like the writhing undead walls that surrounded the living hell and soon it sounded like it also. The groaning and snarls that rode the breeze had Daryl's tread pausing midstride, the man obviously hearing the sound of at least a couple dozen corpses.

"You hear it too right?" she asked quietly, wondering if her mind was playing tricks on her. Daryl dipped his chin and then trudged onward eventually leading them to a spot to view the loading docks of the warehouse. The trucks parked at them were labeled with grocery store chain names and giant pictures of canned food. Valentine's eyes narrowed at the sight before her, the trucks like beacons of hope, huge billboards screaming for scavengers to come inside. In front of the trucks was a swarm of undead surrounding a disabled vehicle, their claw-like hands and mouths gnashing at what was inside.

"It's a trap." Daryl remarked, his narrowed gaze landing on hers.

"Yep. Looks like they caught someone too. I see at least two inside." She replied, her mind thinking of the best plan of action. Part of her wanted to turn around and walk the other way. It wasn't their fight but the other side pictured what it would be like if it were Daryl and her trapped inside. Valentine thought about how if they were in the same situation she would want someone to risk it for them.

"We can draw them away. Help 'em get out." she spoke while scanning the fence for weaknesses. "This is probably sturdy fencing, they'd want it to be secure to keep the prey in."

Daryl was looking down at her silently, his fingers curled in the fencing. "We don't know them."

"No but we can if we help." She replied with honest eyes and added, "Plus maybe they have antibiotics to trade."

Daryl nodded instantly and then instructed, "Draw 'em this way, like at the prison. You stab 'em when they get here while I circle around and help 'em get out."

"Alright." She spoke while stepping into him, her hand resting over his chest. Standing on her toes she kissed him firmly, her forehead pushing against his. Daryl's hand came up to cup the back of her neck as he growled into her mouth.

"Be safe." She whispered against his panting lips. Nodding against her sweaty skin Daryl rasped, "You too darlin'."

Valentine got to the fence and began trailing her blade across the metal link, the loud clacking announcing her presence to the undead horde. She whistled sharply, while shaking the fence, the rattling bringing the shambling corpses her way.

The first of the group slammed into the fence allowing her to use her hunting knife to put down walker after walker. As the bodies began to fall, one after another she watched as two men climbed out of the car, both killing any stranglers that had trapped them inside the car. Daryl was there shooting bolts at the undead more interested in them rather than her. Valentine's arm was throbbing as she stabbed another handful of dead, the bodies piling up at the fence like debris at a damn. Keeping an eye on the trio inside the fence she watched as Daryl got them both out of the parking lot. Once the gates slammed closed behind them she left her position. Jogging along the fence she kept her eyes jumping from her surroundings to Daryl who was now alone with two strangers. Her heart was racing as she came around the corner to see two men with partially raised hands as Daryl kept the bow on them.

Valentine was sprayed with walker blood, her arms covered in it from killing the fence line of undead. With one curved blade out she approached, her eyes pinning the new men.

"Ya good?" Daryl asked his eyes scanning her for injury. Nodding she looked over the two men carefully. Both were clean, clean enough to make her wary. They were from a larger group who had a lot of resources. Not even living in sanctuary had she been able to look as put together.

"Thank you both…" one man began but Valentine ordered, "weapons on the ground."

They hesitated but the taller man dipped his chin to the redhead. The removed their guns and blades before raising their hands. Valentine slid her blade away and patted them down, her hands sliding over both looking for any hidden weapons.

"I don't know what we would've done if you hadn't come along." He continued, his breath still rapid and eyes wild. Valentine watched as he looked over his friend, his eyes moving much like Daryl's were when she arrived.

"I'm Eric." The thinner one introduced himself before motioning to the curly haired man who had spoken first, "This is Aaron."

Valentine glanced at Daryl who rolled one shoulder as if letting her decide the next move. "Valentine and that's Daryl."

"Valentine huh?" Aaron spoke with a smile, "Well thank you both."

"Who set the trap?" Daryl asked his eyes skipping to the dead they hadn't killed, the gate becoming lined with them.

"We don't know. We didn't realize it was a trap until too late." Aaron explained, his eyes telling her his words were honest. There was an anger in them but also an edge of guilt. She could tell he felt like he let his partner down by getting them trapped.

"How big's your camp?" Valentine asked, changing the subject to more important information.

"How do you-?" Eric began but Valentine interrupted, "You're clean, you have fresh clothes and despite being a little worse for wear you look like you're well fed. How big's your camp?"

She watched them look at each other and then come to some kind of decision.

"We have a community, a safe zone." Aaron explained, his hand reaching for his backpack causing Daryl's bow to rise to his head. The man paused and assured, "I'm just getting some pictures. We're recruiters. I show them to possible new residents."

The words recruiters and residents had Valentines heart racing. If they were organized enough to need recruiters and had enough supplies to bring in new group members, their camp had to be established. Not to mention the word resident evoked a connotation of a permanent home, an actual residence.

"Lets move this party." Valentine instructed, her eyes scanning the trees, "Whoever set this trap will be back for their kill. I don't want to be anywhere near here."

* * *

"Who the hell are they?!" Glenn exclaimed as Valentine walked through the brush with Aaron and Eric on her heels followed by Daryl.

"This is Aaron and Eric." She replied, her eyes looking at the empty bags with a frown, "Nothin?"

"No. Are you going to tell me who they are?"

"I just fucking told you Glenn." She snapped, her frustration at not finding the medicine they needed making her short tempered. Daryl touched her elbow and murmured, "We'll find some. Don't worry."

"What are you looking for?" Eric asked while stepping forward. Glenn raised his rifle and growled, "Don't move."

"Okay, Okay just… what are you looking for? Maybe we can help since you helped us." Aaron offered, his large blue eyes anything but deceitful.

"We need antibitoics." Noah blurted, before looking guiltily at Valentine. Shrugging she glanced at the strangers and asked, "You got drugs back at your place?"

They seemed hesitant to tell them, their eyes speaking to each other silently.

"How many's in your group?" Aaron asked, "We need to protect ourselves, Im sure you understand."

"We can take them back with us." Rosita suggested.

"They riding on the hood?" Daryl snarked, " We don't got the space."

"We have a car… its about ten miles west of here." Eric supplied, before suggesting, "We can follow you back to your camp."

Valentine rolled her shoulders, the tension getting to her now that they were talking about returning to the group with new people. It wasn't her position to bring strangers into the camp, it didn't sit right with her but they needed to make a decision. It didn't seem like they were bad guys nor were they a threat but it didn't mean they weren't dangerous.

Glenn motioned for them to step aside, Valentine and Daryl huddling together while Noah and Rosita watched the new men with weapons drawn. "They got a place. Call it a safe zone." Daryl described, his eyes skipping to Aaron and Eric. Glenn watched them with new eyes, hope visibly filling him. "You believe it?"

Valentine shrugged, "They look the part."

"Val and me will go with them, meet you back at camp." Daryl concluded, his eyes landing on her for agreement. Giving it to him she added, "We'll get all the info we need. If it doesn't seem right, we'll take care of it."

Glenn looked at her with concerned eyes but nodded just the same. He knew what she meant when she said they would take care of it. Both Valentine and Daryl would do pretty much anything to keep the group safe and if it meant killing possible threats, they'd do it without blinking.

* * *

"How long have you been together?" Eric asked as Valentine held a barbwire fence open for the others to climb through. Raising an eyebrow at the man she asked, "Who?"

"You're group? Or you two, which ever." He answered with a smile, the friendliness in his eyes throwing Valentine off.

"Truthfully I have no idea. Long enough to trust each other." She replied with a shrug, "You?"

"Aaron and I have been together for a two years. Our camp has been around for awhile now. The walls weren't always there but we worked hard to get them up." He described openly, Aaron however seemed more reserved about providing details. It made her trust them a little bit more that he was holding back. If it was too easy Valentine couldn't help but think it was too good to be true. A dangerous honey pot.

"How many is in this safe zone?" she inquired her eyes watching both men for deception. Daryl was listening from behind them, his bow resting in his arm while watching the surroundings. He appeared to be relaxed but she could see the crinkle in his eye as he sorted through their words and actions. His subtly was why he was so observant.

"45 right now." Eric spoke after looking for permission from Aaron. Valentine's eyebrow shot up at the answer and her gaze jumped to Daryl's. He looked just as surprised but schooled his reaction better than her. Feeling more nervous than before she started wondering if they were making the correct decision. They would be far out numbered and if the new group was dangerous there wouldn't be much Valentine or Daryl could do about it.

"How about your group?" Aaron asked, his curious eyes jumping between the two of them. Daryl rolled his lip between his teeth roughly before grunting, "Enough."

Valentine smirked at him and glanced at Aaron who looked just as amused.

"Man of few words." Eric quipped his green eyes shining. "We just want to get to know you. I promise we aren't dangerous."

Daryl grunted in response, his piercing eyes bouncing between the men before landing on Valentine. She could read him like a book, he wanted to believe but wouldn't trust the men's word until proven true.

"15." Valentine answered after the silence stretched out, "plenty of able bodied men and women who will fight to the death to protect each other so let's hope y'all are telling the truth."

Aaron swallowed thickly and nodded, "are you in charge?"

Snorting she looked over at Daryl who hid a smirk from the men, his bow releasing a bolt into the shuffling dead nearby. "Nah," He rasped with a chuckle, yanking the bolt out of the dead man's head. "She just sounds bossy."

* * *

Rick was standing with Glenn and Rosita when they pulled up to gate enclosing the storage unit lot. Daryl slid out of the Subaru the men had and met Rick at the gate, both nodding to each other.

"Well?" Rick rasped as he pulled the gate open to let the vehicle in. Daryl stepped through and helped lock up while watching the new men park. Valentine was inside still and he couldn't help but hold his breath waiting for something bad to happen.

"Helped 'em out of a tight spot. They got a group and were out lookin' for people." He explained as the three people climbed out of the car, his lungs releasing a breath when he got sight of Valentine.

Rick nodded and strode forward, his body tense and eyes calculating. Daryl cringed as he realized he should've been clearer about the men's intention and things were about to get heated.

"On the groun' now!" Rick barked, his gun drawn catching Aaron and Eric off guard. The others joined him, their guns raised as their leader hollered rapid orders at the men. Valentine was trying to calm everyone down while Rick shoved Aaron and Eric to their knees. Daryl headed for Rick to get control of the situation.

"They don't got weapons!" Daryl shouted pushing Abraham back to get to Rick's side. Rick had his revolver aimed at Aaron's forehead, the kneeling man looking shocked but holding his own. Eric looked more traumatized by the situation but kept quiet. Valentine was growling at Rick, her hand yanking his gun away while shoving him backwards. The man looked like he was about to take a swing at her making Daryl step towards the pair. Valentine slapped Abrahams hand away when he tried to help her control Rick, her eyes blazing. "I got it," she snapped while pushing Rick to the furthest parking spot away from the group. Daryl stood next to Aaron who stayed on his knees with his partner. Aaron glanced up at Daryl and asked, "you and Valentine are together right?"

Daryl grunted while nodding, his eyes focusing on his brother and his woman who looked to be walking the edge of a full out brawl. Both sneering at each other with bared teeth and wild eyes. They were both feral when emotional.

"So what are they?" Aaron asked, causing Daryl to look over at the man who was staring at the two also.

"Twins." Daryl responded without any thought or hesitation, and after it was out he realized how true it was despite the pair not being related. Both Rick and Valentine had the same monster on their back, an emotional wreckage born of grief and guilt. They were cut from the same cloth and both struggled to overcome the mental scar tissue the new world had caused them.

"Oh I didn't realize."

"They ain't really it's just... They're the same."

Aaron nodded, his clearer eyes watching the two speak in hushed tones, Valentine fisting Rick's shirt while he griped her wrist. It made Daryl grind his teeth, his protective nature wanting to rip the other man's arms off and beat him with them. Daryl knew however that if anyone could handle Rick, it was Valentine.

* * *

Valentine clutched Rick's dirty flannel and growled, "listen t'me goddamnit."

Squeezing her wrist painfully Rick sneered, "say what ya gotta say so I can get back to protectin' my family."

"That's the point of this you dumbshit." She barked, "they got a place with walls. It sounds- You know I'm not an damn optimist."

Rick nodded, his hand loosening and then falling to his side. The tension drained from his frame and he listened to her. Valentine let go of his shirt but stayed close, her voice low and clear.

"They got something though, Rick. More than we got."

"Could be another Sanctuary." He offered, his hands resting on his hips while looking at her sideways. "Another Negan." He added with taunting eyes.

Valentine bared her teeth and gave him a look that could kill weaker men. Rick cringed at himself and shook his head, "sorry.. Val fuck, sorry. I'm just pissed off."

"As I was saying." She growled, her eyes angry and fed up, "the way I see it, we go check it out. It may be something good, it may not but we saved their asses out there. That's a debt and most people still speak that language. Payment for services rendered. They could have antibiotics that Carl needs."

Rick was nodding by the end and he looked properly abashed for his behavior. He had obviously thought she had risked them without any thought or planning.

"And if they don't want to pay?" Rick asked his brow furrowed and his eyes jumping to the two men standing near his family. Valentine watched his fists clench, his thumb twisting his wedding ring anxiously.

"Hey." She murmured, catching his attention, "you know I'll do what has to be done to take care of him. If they have drugs, I'll get them."

Rick swallowed thickly and she could see his eyes fill with tears. He gave her a jerky nod and stepped forward, pulling her into a one armed hug. Pulling back he pressed his forehead against hers and rasped, "thank you."

She smiled slightly and replied, "no problem. Now calm the fuck down and stop freaking everyone out. That's my job."

He stepped back and chuckled, his blue eyes jumping to the others. Valentine could see Daryl looking more than a little tense. A few of the others were giving her a strange look but she blew it off. She knew her relationship with Rick was odd to some. They were close and from the outside it looked weird. Valentine couldn't really explain it but for some reason Rick and her were two sides of the same coin. They had shared quite a bit with each other and shared the same survivors guilt. That closeness caused a deep understanding of each other.

Walking back to the others Rick approached the two men, his stride aggressive and his boots scuffing the ground loudly. Valentine rolled her eyes at Daryl making his lip twitch as she joined him. His hand slid along her lower back as if checking on her well being, his eyes asking the question silently.

"I'm good."

"And him?"

"For now." She replied watching Rick pat the men down with natural police procedures. Then he ordered Glenn to go through their packs. Rick was winding himself up again, she could see it but held back to see if he could control his anxiety.

"How manys in your town?" He asked gruffly, his eyes jumping between the men while his hand rest loosely on his revolvers hilt.

"We already told Valentine everything."

"How many's in your town." Rick snarled his jaw set tightly as he glared at them. Eric looked offended but Aaron rolled with it, repeating everything he had told Valentine and then some. She could tell Aaron was more seasoned to dealing with aggressive people. He had a calmness that he exuded that seemed to rub off on the others. Even Rick calmed down while speaking to the man. He didn't let his guard down but still began to loosen up. A plan began to loosely develop, one that included returning with Aaron and Eric to Alexandria.

* * *

Valentine headed inside to check on Carl while Rick had the men put in one of the storage units. She could see Aaron smiling as he caught sight of Judith in Beth's arms. Kneeling down next to Carl she asked, "How're you feeling?"

"Good. Bored. Dad won't let me do anything." Carl complained with a roll to the eyes. Valentine smirked and suggested, "Maybe he just wants you to heal up."

"Or maybe he's being paranoid."

"Let me see it." Valentine ignored the muttered complaint and began unwinding the bandages wrapping his arm. The stitches were lining his injured palm, the skin around them irritated and puffy. Frowning she grabbed her bag, rooting around for more alcohol and ointment. Working slowly she tried to be careful but Carl grimaced as the stinging became too intense.

"Almost done." she murmured as she applied ointment to the area. While wrapping his hand back up in new bandages Eric spoke from across the hallway. "The antibiotics are for him?"

Glancing over at him she saw the men watching while being guarded by Rosita and Sasha. Nodding she replied, "He cut it the other day. Do you have them at your place?"

"Yeah. We can help your son." Aaron assured, his eyes honest and tone resolute. Valentine shook her head, "he's family but not my son. This Rick's sone Carl."

"Hey Carl. I'm Aaron and this is Eric."

"Hi. You guys have a camp?"

Eric smiled widely and described the safe zone, telling the teen about other kids who live there. Carl listened with narrowed eyes his face betraying the hope he tried to hide. squeezing his knee Valentine told him, "whatever happens, we'll be ok."

* * *

Valentine circled her sparring partner, Michonne's long legs gracefully rounding her also. Both women having been anxious all day while Rick planned their trip to Aaron and Eric's camp decided to train. It was a way Valentine used to get the anxious energy out. Smirking widely she let herself fall into the cocksure fighter she loved to be while in the ring. Gesturing to the woman Valentine drawled, "come on Chone, come get me."

"You're such a cocky bitch."

"Got reason to be sweetheart." She chuckled with a grin, her eyes bright and wide.

They moved around each other, they're hands and feet making periodic swipes. Michonne got a good leg kick in making Valentine stumble sideways, her feet barely catching her fall. Moving quickly the other woman rounded on Valentine, her arms trying to circle her. Taking a few evasive measure Valentine spun around her body slipping out of Michonne's grasp. They stumbled to the ground, both somersaulting away. Valentine grappled with her, her hands twisting limbs as Michonne kicked up and out.

"Come on." She grunted as she struggled to grab the quick woman. Michonne laughed as her grasp slipped, her legs kicking out to trip Valentine. "Come get me," she mocked with a bright grin.

Rolling with the fall Valentine was up and on her before Michonne could think of her next move. Grabbing the woman's wrist Valentine twisted it around and up her back making Michonne grunt in pain. Circling her neck she applied a choke hold, releasing the twisted limb in order to grapple easier. Michonne clutched her arms trying to get loose but Valentine took control, kicking the back of Michonne's knee making her collapse in front of her. Valentine yanked up, her forearm going under Michonne's tucked chin and getting the chokehold she wanted. Tightening her arm she rolled on the ground with Michonne as she fought to get loose only to finally tap out, her leather gloved hand smack Valentine's shoulder. Letting go she lay on her back panting as Michonne lay next to her equally as out of breath.

"Good round." She muttered before grinning at the woman. Michonne snorted, "no it wasn't. I lost."

"Almost had me though."

"Bullshit."

"Nope." She popped her lips and explained, "leg kick had me tumbling. If you'd have gotten a hold of me I'd probably have lost."

"Liar."

"Maybe a little but you could've." She chuckled with a grin, her hand reaching down to help Michonne to her feet.

"Where'd you learn how to fight?" A voice from the sidelines asked, Rosita was standing with her arms crossed and hip cocked to the side. The two women had gone on a few runs together and despite their initial scuffle hadn't had any other issues.

Valentine swallowed thickly and revealed personal details about her husband for one of the first times since his death. "My husband... He was army. We'd train when he was home."

She could feel too many sets of eyes on her making her look at the cement rather than raise her head.

"Musta been special forces. That shit is for frequent hand to hand." Abraham commented, his voice sounding gruff yet soft. Pursing her lips she glanced up and nodded, "yeah. Army ranger."

"Oh yeah." He remarked with a nod, "those fuckers are tough."

Valentine smirked with damp eyes and agreed, "yeah. He was."

The silence grew thick and awkward until she tried to break the tension, "except when we had mice in the attic. I had to deal with them while he squealed like a third grader."

A few chuckled and Valentine bit her lip as she thought about Paul as something other than just gone. Shaking her head a little Valentine cleared her throat before excusing herself, "gonna check on Carl."

* * *

"Ya doin' A'right?" Daryl asked from their little sleeping nook behind a pile of boxes. He watched her roll her shoulders as if trying to release the tension from her frame. "Eh." She muttered, "sure."

"C'mere." He instructed while gesturing to her to sit between his outstretched legs. Scooting over, Valentine relaxed as he began kneading her shoulders. A quiet moan slipped from her lips as his thumb ground against the knots striping her neck and upper back.

"Good?" He grunted as he slid his hands down to smooth out sore muscles lining her spine.

"Yeah." She sighed, her chin dropping to her chest. "Very."

Smirking at her breathless voice, Daryl kept massaging until her frame sank back into his chest. Wrapping his arms around her, he rested his chin her shoulder. They sat quietly while listening to the others settle in for the night. Daryl kissed the side of her neck, letting his lips rest against the warm skin.

Valentine turned her head, her mouth connecting with his slowly. He couldn't help but moan as her tongue slid a seductive path through his mouth. His fingers dug into her hair, twisting into it to keep her permanently attached to him.

"Val." Daryl groaned when she spun around to straddle his thighs. "Girl, e'vrybodys right there."

"Shhh." She murmured, her hand sliding to his belt quickly. With nimble fingers she unbuckled his leather belt with a snap, surprising the man. Chuckling until her warm hand dove inside to grip his hardening dick.

"Fuck," he hissed through clenched teeth, "whatcha doin'?"

Her slow grin made him twitch in her hand, making her laugh. "What does it feel like Daryl? I'm not shaking your hand."

"Shuddup." He grunted before throwing his head back when her hand gave him a firm stroke. With surpringly no inhibitions, Daryl rolled his hips into her pumping hand. Moaning into her breast, Daryl's eyes slid shut as she worked him over.

When her mouth started sucking a hot, wet path up Daryl's neck he dug his fingers into the soft curve of her ass. "Jesus." She moaned into his ear, her hand rolling over the head before plunging down. "I like making you moan."

"Fuck. Whenever ya wanna," he growled, when her teeth dug into the meat of his shoulder. "ya can darlin'."

Almost too soon Daryl could feel his stomach clench and a deep burn rolling through his extremities. "Fuck. Val. I'm gonna..." He groaned, his teeth scraping up her neck.

"Yes. That's it." She encourage, her breath panting into his ear, "come on Dare."

The words caused a rush of heat to burn straight through him, his head was thrown back while pulsing into her hand. With a buzzing head Daryl squeezed her to his chest while gasping into her neck. He could feel her stroking his back while murmuring into his temple.

"Damn Val." He rasped, his eyes heavy and body relaxed. "Killin' me."

"Lie down, sweetheart." He heard her murmur softly, "I got watch."

Grunting he collapsed on the sleep roll making her laugh and whisper, "love you."

"you too sweetheart."


	37. Chapter 37

Valentine stood in the study of the large home, the leader of Alexandria watching her scan the book spines of her personal library. The safe zone was a small residential area circled in very tall steel fencing. They had all the modern conveniences of the old world. The homes were well-endowed with top of the line appliances and granite counter tops. The crown molding had crown molding and the furnishings were out of design magazines. It was like stepping into another universe where the dead did not walk.

From the short jaunt into the center of the community she had seen a few dozen homes as well as townhouses. There was even a small park area complete with gazebos and ponds. The community had obviously hit it rich with their solar powered homes and water cistern.

Valentine's eyes traced the walls, which were lined with black and white photography of architecture and oil paintings of sailboats. Resting a hand on her machete hilt lazily, Valentine took in every movement Deanna made out of the corner of her eye. She didn't think she was in any danger but she wanted the older woman to know she very much was. There wasn't anything that would or could stop Valentine if she wanted to kill Deanna, hell she felt she could clear the whole town singlehandedly of all the existing residents if desired.

They were weak, it was clear as day and it should have comforted Valentine since it meant they weren't a threat but it only concerned her. If they were going to make the place a home, they needed to be in control because the current residents weren't going to survive. It was an absolute shock that they had lasted as long as they had being as naïve as they were.

"What did you do before all this Valentine?" Deanna asked after a long tense silence. Cocking her head to the side, Valentine slid her pitch colored eyes to the older woman. She was in her late fifties, her chin length brown hair clean and curled. Valentine could tell Deanna was from a political background, an air of diplomacy hung off her stiff shoulders like a bad blazer. Her crystal blue eyes were analytical but not judgmental and lips pinched in thought.

"Why does it matter?" Valentine finally replied.

"It helps us place people in jobs here in town. Everyone has a position here. Everyone chips in." Deanna explained, her lips curling but her cheek twitching under the younger woman's feral gaze.

Rolling her shoulders to loosen up the tight rubber band that was pulling between them, Valentine paced the room a few times, her eyes skipping over maps and blueprints. Cataloging what she saw, Valentine noticed they were expanding, or at least planning to expand and that they kept detailed supply run maps. It didn't look like they had strayed towards Sanctuary yet, the large radius around it still without markings. She focused on the boundaries they did have drawn and a particular area that was crossed out in red.

'Enemy territory,' she guessed inwardly while trailing her attention back to the woman watching her snoop.

"Before doesn't matter anymore. I should be placed on supply runs and security." Valentine told her while wandering back to the chair placed in front of the camera. Perching on the edge of the seat she looked up at the woman waiting for her next inquiry. Deanna pursed her lips and asked, "Is that what you enjoy?"

"It's what I'm good at."

Looking at her with thoughtful eyes Deanna countered, "What do you enjoy?"

Valentine furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, the question seeming foreign. "I'm not sure what you mean. There really isn't time to enjoy much anymore."

"Sure there is." She offered, her eyebrows raised as she leaned her elbows on her knees. Valentine shifted to face her head on, the curl of her lip more menacing than polite, "I suppose I enjoy not being murdered and eaten alive."

Deanna grinned, her eyes bright, "I like you Valentine. You don't hold back."

"It's not a trait most find endearing." Valentine commented, leaning back in her chair.

Deanna spoke, standing to look out the window at the group loitering in her yard. "I want to build something here. A community. In order to do that we need strong people and the only way I can find out if someone fits the bill is to ask questions and get truthful answers. That's why I like you."

Rolling her eyes Valentine found herself fidgeting as she became aware of the camera recording her. She hadn't seen a picture of herself since before the turn, let alone a video. Valentine couldn't imagine if she saw a side by side comparison of the old her and the new. There was no way she looked anything like before, scars aside she had to look a few decades older.

"Can I ask about you scars?" Deanna inquired as if reading Valentine's self conscious thoughts.

"Which ones?" She replied dryly, stuffing down the anxiety that had been filling her.

"Well I guess the visible ones, your neck and arms for instance?" The older woman suggested, her head cocked to the side as her eyes seemed to trace every line marring Valentine.

Chewing her cheek she realized she hadn't told anyone really what happened to her. Her family all knew already or were told by the others. Valentine had never said the words out loud, "A man tried to kill me. To uh.. behead me, I guess you could say."

"I'm so sorry." Deanna apologized, her eyes sympathetic not pitying.

"You didn't do it."

"I'm still sorry that it happened. Did he do the others?"

Shifting under the woman's observant eyes Valentine shook her head, "no."

She wasn't ready for that can of worms to open up. The ropy marks that cut through her forearms and crisscrossed her hands and knuckles were from the fighting ring, most being defensive claw marks, knife wounds and split knuckles.

Deanna nodded, her eyes clearly seeing the topic falling into the off limits column. "Well I'm happy you survived. I'm sure you're family is too."

Valentine smirked slightly thinking of Daryl instantly, the relief in his eyes when they came upon each other in the woods, the terror that still laced his relief.

"Yeah, yeah they were." She murmured, clearing her throat, feeling overwhelmed for an unknown reason. "Are we done here?"

"Yeah. For now. I'll speak to you again later when we assign jobs."

Valentine stood and exited the house quickly, the walls felt to close together and the woman's eyes to penetrating. It wasn't like dealing with Negan but the woman did have a way at looking at a person and seeing inside. It was disconcerting and probably what gave her the ability to run the town despite not having experience outside the walls.

Walking across the residential street, Valentine entered a similar model of home, the large wrap around porch something out of a magazine. There was still an American flag hung outside and the planters were filled with pastel petunias. This particular home was the medical center, the open floor plan allowing for several beds as well as equipment. The large kitchen island held medical supplies of every kind. The items were sitting out in the open as if they were nothing special nor a precious commodity. It gave Valentine a stutter in her step, the woman realizing that Alexandria hadn't suffered without basic needs before. They had experienced loss, Aaron and Eric had said as much but had they gone without food for days and days? Probably not. They'd never lost someone to a treatable illness or injury because they had the treatments sitting in their laps.

Valentine had seen someone die from a simple cut gone untreated. Sepsis, flus, dehydration. The woman had seen it all and would probably see it again in her lifetime, however short that may be. The fact that they didn't feel the need to lock up such sought after supplies was confounding.

Carl was sitting on a cot while a blonde woman with glasses checked over his hand. She was prodding it gently and maybe even a little nervously, her lips pursed and brows furrowed.

"Something wrong?" Valentine asked, her boots scuffing up the shiny wood floors. The woman jumped, her eyes getting wider with every step Valentine neared.

"N-no, no. Uh… H-he's good. It's good, I mean to say his hand is looking good." She rambled, her voice cracking. Carl look bemused, his blue eyes very much like his father's calculating ones. Valentine nodded, peering down at the healing flesh and asked, "did I sew it correctly? I was going off real world experience, not proper training."

"Oh! You did it, I see um yeah you did good. It's healing and you uh, left it room to stretch. It'll heal well that way. I'm going to leave the stitches in a couple days and get him on a round of antibiotics. He, um.. Sorry what was your name again?"

"Carl." The teen replied, "this is Val."

"Denise, I'm Denise. So yeah Carl I can give you some pain meds if it's needed but we conserve them if at all possible."

"I'm fine."

"Ok. Keep it clean and unwrapped. Let it breath."

Nodding along he smiled at Valentine and said, "See I told you, you didn't maim me."

Rolling her eyes Valentine muttered, "Shuddup."

* * *

Daryl stood on the porch, his shoulder resting against the post as he watched Valentine walk towards him. Her head was on a swivel, her eyes taking in every person looking their way. The large blades on her hips swayed with every step and her hands were never far from their grips. Chewing his lip while suppressing the urge to maul her as she approached, Daryl pulled out one of his last smokes. There was something about the way the curve of her hip flared out with every assured step that got his motor running. She moved with a feminine sway that had his heart thudding hard against his ribs.

'Damn woman's gonna kill me.' He scoffed, his eyes flitting down her lean form.

Cupping the flame, he took a deep drag off his cigarette. The burn bloomed in his chest and throat, his mind distracted by the buzzing nicotine. Valentine stepped up and raised an eyebrow silently asking him how he was doing.

"M'good." He grunted, ticking his chin to the house, "everybody's inside washin' up."

"Damn, a shower sounds good." She grinned, her hand curling into his shirt and vest. Daryl's breath caught in his throat as she peered up at him with those deep eyes. Pulling him closer she murmured, "maybe we can check out these showers when everybody's done."

Making a sound in the back of his throat, his dick twitched at the idea of her naked, willing and really fucking wet. Daryl gave her a crooked grin, his chin dipping, "ya think ya can be quiet?"

"Hell no." She quipped, hopping up on the porch railing next to him, her feet kicking back and forth. "That gonna stop you?"

Smirking Daryl stepped in between her legs, grinding the cigarette out on the railing. Letting his hands rest beside her thighs, he brushed her hips with his thumbs slowly.

"Hell no." he grunted, his mouth resting next to her ear, their temples resting against each other.

Valentine laughed breathily in his ear as she pulled back to look up at him from under her lashes. 'Fuck she's damn beautiful.' He thought, the words so close to the tip of his tongue but swallowed down as Glenn joined them on the porch.

"Rick's lookin' for you Daryl." Glenn commented while sitting down on a wood bench lining the porch. Daryl stayed where he was, Valentine clutching his vest as if requesting him to stay. Chewing his lip he asked, "why?"

"Didn't say but looked serious."

"Ooooh you're in trouble." Valentine teased with a slow grin, her finger poking him in the stomach. Rolling his eyes he muttered under his breath, "Show ya trouble later."

Throwing her head back, Valentine laughed loudly her eyes gleaming. "Promises, promises."

* * *

The people of Alexandria were definitely spooked by her; their wide eyes following her every step. Valentine couldn't help the smirk that curled her lip at the worried gazes. It had been a long time since she had stepped inside a community, not since the prison and at that time she had been broken for lack of a better word. Now that she was less of a train wreck, Valentine began to enjoy the looks of worry and the feeling of strength. She knew without a doubt she was sitting at the top of the food chain in Alexandria. Her and most of her family were the apex animals of the community. It was relieving in many ways but also ignited the kindling of worry. If they were the strong ones, would the others just be dead weight? Did they just sign themselves up as guard dogs for a sheep pen in a valley of wolves? Valentine wasn't sure but what she did know was her group could keep the town, with or without the current residents. Alexandria was theirs now.

"Deanna says we will all be given jobs." Glenn remarked, jolting Valentine out of her scheming mind, "she's already mentioned supply team for me."

Nodding, Valentine glanced over to see where the conversation was going. Glenn hadn't spoken much to her but there hadn't been animosity for any of the words exchanged at the prison.

"I would like for you to be on my team." He completed his thought, his eyes firmly on hers. "I don't trust these people to have my back and… well you're someone I want to have with me when out in the thick of it."

Pursing her lips she peered over at him and shrugged her shoulders, "it's not my decision but I'll do what I can."

"Good. Thanks Val." Glenn sounded relieved, his eyes without the previous tension.

"No problem." She replied, searching for Daryl only to find him standing with Rick and Carol in the front yard. They seemed to be planning something so she left them to it, if it was something she needed to know both Rick and Daryl would inform her.

Wandering back inside she found Carl and Judith sitting in the living room with Beth. They had all showered, Judith was in an oversized kids t-shirt while Carl had a clean flannel on. Smiling at the toddler smacking two plastic bowls together while babbling Valentine sat in front of her.

"How's it goin' Judy?" Valentine asked with a grin, "You less stinky?"

"Bah!" she screeched with a partially gummy smile, a few baby teeth coming through finally. "Bah!"

Snorting Carl translated, "Yeah Jude you had a bath."

"Bah!" she screamed again with wide eyes, her hands clapping the plastic together. Smirking Valentine asked, "You two get something to eat?"

"Yeah." Beth replied, her hands braiding her hair into a manageable plait. "There's leftover stew in the kitchen and more clean towels upstairs."

Nodding Valentine murmured, "I'm gonna shower later. Food though… I can use some food."

Beth hopped up before Valentine could rise and headed inside the kitchen to grab it. Shaking her head Valentine hollered, "You didn't need to get it for me Beth."

"I know!" she shouted from the kitchen, her feet bringing her out moments later, "I like to be useful. Plus I can't get over the working faucets and refrigerator."

Laughing Valentine leaned against the couch, her legs outstretched and her eyes scanning the room they sat in. "Yeah these places are crazy."

"You ever live in something like this?" Beth asked, her hands going back to braiding her hair. Swallowing a mouthful of hot soup, Valentine shook her head, "Nah. We lived in military housing."

"You and your husband?" Beth asked, her voice softer knowing the subject was sensitive. Pursing her lips slightly, Valentine replied, "Yeah. Mostly it was just me and Michael, my son. Paul was away a lot, always on a tour or training. The houses were ok though. Small but enough for what we needed. Michael would've loved the secret attic space upstairs. He always wanted a tree fort."

Feeling eyes on her she looked up to see Daryl leaning on the doorway, his face blank but eyes soft. Chewing her lip she looked back down at Judith, her pudgy hands pulling at the rug below her while gurgling words that only made sense to her.

'We'll keep this place,' she thought inwardly, silently promising Judith she would have a safe place to grow up, a place where tree forts and wide roads to ride bikes on weren't fading memories of the good old days.

* * *

Her fingers were raking through Daryl's hair, fragrant shampoo scrubbing away dirt and oil. He knelt in front of Valentine, his forehead pressed into her stomach as she worked. Moaning into her wet skin, Daryl tipped his head up to watch her work, his chin propped between her breasts. A smile curled her lips as she looked down at his hooded gaze. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and Daryl felt like the luckiest bastard in the world that Valentine even allowed an old redneck like him to touch her.

"Feel good?" She asked, the warm water dripping off her spiral hair onto his face like rainwater. Nodding into her stomach Daryl murmured, "very." He had never had someone take care of him before. Not in the ways that Valentine could and did. Daryl hadn't ever wanted anyone to and now he couldn't imagine his life without her. He wasn't even sure if the life he had before the turn was real because it didn't seem possible that they hadn't known each other their whole lives.

"Good. Like takin' care of you." She whispered, her hands now rubbing and stroking his neck, shoulders and back. The shivers running through him having nothing to do with the rapidly cooling water.

"Too good for me darlin'." He rasped, his neck flushing in embarrassment, his eyes flitting away before returning.

"Well that's fucking nonsense." She snorted, "deserve more than ya got, Dumbass."

Laughing gruffly he swatted her ass playfully, "no need for mean names sweetheart."

Smirking at him she leaned down, her soft lips fitting to his like they were made for them.

"M'sorry baby," she murmured, her tongue sealing the apology as she dove into his moaning mouth.

Daryl climbed to his feet and corner her against the wall. "Lemme wash you."

"Alright." She murmured with a smile, handing him the wash cloth.

He worked slowly, his hands traveling over every inch of her. The gentle curve of her breast and the dip of her waist caused his breath to hitch. The soap travelled down her body and the warm water pinked her skin. When it came to washing her back he paused his movements, his large hands cupping her ribs. There had only been a couple times that Daryl had seen her bare back and even fewer still that he was able to touch it.

"Can I?" He rasped his eyes flicking over her shoulder. The woman stayed frozen for a heart beat before she turned around to face the wall.

The water rivulets were following the curves carved into her pale back. The tissue looked as if some of the shallower ones were fading to a light pink. The majority though we're still deep and red as if brand new.

He watched as her shoulders rolled forward, her frame visibly trembling at the anxiety of waiting for him to touch her. The incredibly strong woman turning into a cowering figure tore his heart to pieces.

Instead of using the wash cloth, Daryl poured body wash into his palm and began rubbing her shoulders, spine and ribs. He did this clinically, his touch gentle but firm and without lingering to long on certain parts. He knew what it was like to have someone focusing on such a private pain and felt that if he pretended to be unaffected that she would eventually relax.

Daryl found himself blink through tears as the intensity of seeing her past injuries overwhelmed him. He could see her muscles twitch and tick at the new sensations. The damaged nerves across her back flaring at the foreign attention.

"Ya a'right?" He whispered as his hand travelled lower, rough fingers rubbing ribs and hips.

Clearing her throat roughly, Valentine choked out, "yeah."

"Sure?" Daryl drawled, his hands reaching her ass. He couldn't help but grin as his hands slid along the soft skin, his fingers kneading and rubbing gently. A moan echoed in the tiny room as she peeked over her shoulder, wet hair plastered to her forehead.

"I'm real good." She replied her pupils blown and mouth full of whimpers. "Fuck. I need.."

"Whatcha ya need sweetheart?" He asked, his mouth attaching to her curved shoulder. Leaving open mouthed kisses along the cord of muscles lining her petite frame, Daryl watched as she hung her head and moaned louder.

"Touch me." She gasped, her fingers curling into the tile wall.

"We gotta get out of the water. C'mere." Daryl turned the faucet off and grabbed a couple towels. They both dried off, eyes watching the other as they worked. Backing her up to the sink, Daryl gripped her narrow waist and lifted her onto the bathroom counter. Valentine cocked an eyebrow and whispered, "what are you doing?"

"Nothin' ya won't enjoy." He replied with a shy grin, dropping back to his knees in front of her. Looking up at her while he spread her thighs, Daryl hands slid along the soft skin. "Wanna taste ya."

Valentine eyes were wide and mouth open as she panted hard. Daryl could see her pulse thrumming a rapid beat on her neck and her eyes became darker with every second. Taking one leg, he slung it over his shoulder while kissing the inside of her thigh. His teeth nipped and licked a slow path upwards until he reached the wet center between her legs.

Glancing up, his eyes begging for permission, Daryl murmured, "Can I?"

"Please." She gasped, her fingers curling around the counter's edge with white knuckles. "Fuck please Dare."

Keeping eye contact with her, Daryl leaned forward to trace a gentle path along the whole length of her wet lips. His tongue dipping in between before circling her clit. The woman bit her lip so hard to contain her moans that Daryl could see a hint of blood on her teeth. Working smoothly and thoroughly, Daryl dove into her soft skin and heady scent. He couldn't help the groans and growls he emitted as her taste flooded his mouth. She was clean from her shower but her natural scent and taste had him practically drooling down his chest.

Valentine's thighs spread further and her hand sunk into his hair as he worked her up into a frantic mess. His eyes slid up her flushed chest as he watched the woman he loved become undone. Slipping two fingers inside her while sucking a delicious rhythm on her clit, Daryl felt her walls flutter.

"Yeah." He moaned against her skin, his mouth leaving goosebumps along her inner highs. "Gonna cum for me sweetheart?" His fingers were still pumping as his hot breathe hit her pussy. Valentine's lip was pinned between her teeth as she nodded, her hooded gaze causing something deep inside him to catch fire.

Daryl hadn't thought it was possible to want to please someone so much. All his other experiences had been solely to get himself off. There had been little effort to please his partners before, not that there were many but the few that there were hadn't received that kind of attention. Valentine though was all he could ever want or need and thought of turning her into a pleasure filled mess had him doubling his efforts. Foregoing his need to breath Daryl dove in deeper and harder.

Returning to her clit, he circled it while flicking the hard nub with his curled tongue. The rolling of her hips and the painful grip she had on his hair telling him she was close. Placing his mouth over her, he suck hard and fast. The motion causing a chain reaction of rapid movements. Valentine's hips snapped forward, her pelvis grinding into his mouth while one hand fisted his hair painfully. Her second hand smacked flat against the mirror loudly as she lost control of her body. Both legs wound around his shoulders, pinning him between her thighs as she rode out an intense orgasm.

Daryl growled into her slick throbbing folds, his tongue slowly passing along the sensitive flesh. Valentine's lungs sucked in gasps of air as she blinked away the overwhelming pleasure.

"Jesus." She panted, her fingers slowly releasing his hair only to rake through the wet locks, massaging the tender scalp she had pulled. Daryl stayed where he was, his mouth kissing and licking her thighs and stomach as her legs slid from his shoulders like dead weight. He chuckled as she almost fell from the counter, her body limp and loose.

"Mmmm." He grunted, climbing to his feet to kiss her mouth and neck. "Like that?"

"Fuck yes." She panted, a slightly hysterical giggle hitting his ears.

"Me too." He moaned, his fingers stroking the wetness still flooding her core. She was twitching with sensitivity but allowed him to explore. "Never done that." He confessed, his eyes refusing to make contact with her's as he stroked her soft skin.

"Jesus? Seriously?" She asked with a furrowed brow. Daryl couldn't help the spike of defensiveness from making its way out. "What? Gonna make fun of me?"

"No. I was shocked because of how fucking good you are." She explained with a grin, "can't wait to see what happens when you master it. Christ I might never let you leave."

Daryl's lip twitched as he tried to smother the cocky grin but ended up failing. He smiled down at her, his mouth kissing her gently and thoroughly.

"Liked doin' it. Like makin' ya squirm."

"Well. Whenever you'd like, have at it." She replied with a smirk, her fingers stroking his ribs and chest.

A loud knock on the door had both of the jumping. "Hey, some of us would like to use the bathroom some time tonight." Abrahams loud voice echoed out.

"Fuck off." They both shouted in unison, before cracking up. Daryl pressed his forehead against hers and he murmured, "love you sweetheart."

"Mmm. Love you too Dare."

* * *

"I got a look at their maps and blue prints," Valentine told the group who were all camping out inside one of the homes the town had assigned to them. Most were stretched out on the floor laying on their worn bedrolls, a few had brought down comforters to padded their sleeping areas. Rick stood to the side, Judith propped on his forearm, her hands gripping his shirt while babbling.

"Anything worthwhile?" Rick asked wandering over to wear she sat with Daryl.

"Well they are expanding or planning too. The designs were drawn up and there were lists of needed supplies." She replied, stretching her legs out as she leaned into Daryl's leg behind her, his wide frame propped in the windowsill.

"And the maps?"

"They keep track of their run areas. Looked organized and well detailed. They haven't strayed close to Sanctuary yet." She explained, her eyes landing on Rick's as she spoke of the old haunt.

"Sanctuary?" Abraham asked from his seat on the staircase. Valentine rolled her shoulders feeling uncomfortable but answered the question nonetheless, "A place we should avoid at all costs."

"Anything else?" Rick changed the subject as he paced with a fussy Judith.

"There was an area in red. My guess is enemy territory but it could be an area with lots of walker activity."

"Where was it at?" Daryl asked behind her, his lip chewed between his teeth. She could tell he was as anxious as she was to know exactly what the group was hiding. No one had mentioned any issues with volatile neighbors but she wouldn't expect them too. If there were an enemy group nearby, Rick and his family would most likely be Alexandria's answer to it. It could be the very reason Aaron and Eric brought them back.

"East of here about fifteen miles." She replied, looking up at him from the ground, "You in?"

Nodding he rasped, "Leave at sun up."

Rick cocked an eyebrow and drawled, "Oh don't bother including me in your decisions."

"Shuddup Grimes." She snarked with a grin, "Who needs you anyways?"

Rick chuckled while shaking his head he instructed, "Take a couple more people with ya, a'right?"

Valentine rolled her eyes and glanced up at Daryl who shrugged, "Don' need 'em but a'right. Take a couple."

"I'll go." Sasha announced, her brow furrowed and mouth scowled. Valentine raised an eyebrow and looked over at Rick who seemed to hesitant at her offer. She had been emotionally cut off ever since losing Bob but even more so now that Tyreese was gone. Sasha wasn't anywhere near stable which Valentine understood more than most. She could tell Rick wanted to deny the woman but was struggling to do it without drama.

"Sash." He began, his eyes flicking around the room for help.

"I'm fine." she snapped, her eyes narrowed into a challenging glare. Valentine cleared her throat and chimed in, "That's one, who else?"

Rick stared at her for a long moment before nodding with acceptance, he trusted her judgement to take the woman along. The next person to speak up was Abraham who joked that he was already bored inside the walls so 'Why the fuck not?'

"Good." Rick drawled, rubbing his freshly shaven jaw self-consciously. "Now that's settled let's all get some rest. Tomorrow I'll ask Deanna about the red zones and when y'all get back we'll compare. See how honest these folks really are."


	38. Chapter 38

"We just got here." Carl complained, "You can't leave already."

"I'm not leaving forever, I'll be back." Valentine explained, her hands packing the bag for their trip. Carl huffed, crossing his arms, "you're still leaving and you can't promise that you'll be back."

"I'm not promising Carl." She remarked, as she shoved a change of socks and t-shirt into her pack, "I'm telling you how it is. I'll be back."

Rolling his petulant eyes he looked at the other three packing their gear. "There are people my age here." He muttered almost under his breath, his blue eyes flicking to hers, before away. Valentine stopped packing and looked at him fidget, his fingers picking at the hilt of his large hunting knife. A young man with a deadly weapon who was still just a self conscious kid.

"That's a good thing, right?" She asked carefully, her eyebrow raised.

"I guess. They want me to hangout or something." He mumbled, chewing on his lip a minute, his eyes narrowing as he looked away "we won't have anything in common."

"Oh yeah?" She quipped, trying to break the tension, "You a fortune teller now?"

"Shuddup." He moaned like only a teen could, his eyes heavy and rolling. Snickering Valentine stood up, her hands gripping his shoulders affectionately, "don't be a pussy Carl. Be a kid or whatever."

A laugh had her turning around to see Rick hiding a grin, his eyes crinkled in amusement. Apparently the man found Valentine's completely inappropriate advice hilarious.

"That's your advice. Don't be a pussy and be a kid or  _whatever_."

"Yeah, what do you expect of me?" She laughed ruffle his mop of hair, "I'm no longer a very respectable parental figure."

Rolling his eyes Carl huffed, pulling his head away from her hands, "I'm just saying they've all been behind these walls. They aren't like us."

"No they're not. They're weak and we're fucking strong." She replied her head dipping to catch his eyes, "so strong that we can handle hanging out with a bunch of idiots for a few hours. Get some dirt for me, how about that? Keep your eyes and ears open."

"Fine." He conceded, his voice lowering, "You better be back soon."

"Or what? You gonna ground me?" She teased, her bag sliding over her shoulders.

"Yeah and no TV after dinner." He joked, his lips curled into a cocky smirk and arms crossed.

"Oooooh he means business." Tara joked from behind them, her laugh making Valentine smile widely.

"I'll be back before you know it. Maybe I'll even find something cool for you."

"I'd rather you stay." He spoke solemnly, the humor gone from his worried eyes. Valentine pulled him into her chest, kissing his temple before whispering, "I'd rather stay too but I'm gonna make sure we're safe. That you and Jude are safe. Then I'll come back."

Pulling away she looked at him so he could see that she was no longer joking and that her words were honest as well as true. Carl nodded and backed up to let Rick speak with her before they left.

"Stay safe out there." Rick rasped, his head tilting to the side as he watched the others throw their gear into the car. "I don't want you gone more than a day or two."

"Duh, Rick." She remarked with a smirked as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered walking with her towards the others, his elbow bumping hers, "Humor me ok."

"I will be safe and we will be back very soon."

"Thank you." he sighed, pulling her into a hug, kissing her temple, "See you soon."

* * *

Valentine, Daryl, Abraham and Sasha left Alexandria's walls before the sun actually rose. They borrowed a vehicle and a few days worth of supplies just in case they got detoured.

Daryl was eager to get to the location and find out what the leader of Alexandria was hiding from them. He wasn't excited about trusting them and with Valentine's observations of the group's maps, they may not be caught with their pants down.

Glancing over at her, Daryl watched as Valentine slowly wiped her machetes down, the worn cloth removing the blood from the walkers they cleared at the gate.

"So we got any idea what's waitin' for us?" Abraham asked from the backseat, the man leaning forward in between them.

"It's why we're goin'." Daryl drawled, his thumb firmly chewed between his teeth as he steered lazily with one hand.

"No shit Sherlock. I'm askin' what ya think we'll find."

"And I'm sayin' we'll see what we see. Ain't no point in guessin shit."

Abraham scoffed and sat back. "How 'bout you Sunshine?"

Valentine snorted at the nickname and guessed, "I'm gonna guess a big pot of gold and a leprechaun."

Sasha laughed and quipped, "Maybe some Lucky Charms. I loved that shit."

Abraham chuckled, "That shits for kids."

"So." She snarked, "I used to be young at heart."

Daryl rolled his eyes and glanced at Valentine who smirked at him. She had moved the conversation on for him without being asked. Of course she knew guessing and hypothesizing was stressing him out. He didn't need to imagine up what was waiting for him, it was stressful enough without all the 'what ifs'.

* * *

The group hiked into the area that was considered off limits. Daryl was on edge, his body thrumming with tension as they approached the unknown. He was beginning to think they should've just trusted the others word on what laid in the no man's land but now they were there. All he was hoping for was anything but another Negan. The dead he could deal with but if they found another volatile group nearby Daryl was going to lose it. He was sick of having to fight other survivors. He'd rather fight a herd, at least he knew what to expect from the dead fucks. They wanted to eat you; there was no underhanded sneaky bullshit, just teeth and claws.

"You regrettin' this Hoss?" Abe drawled from next to him, the man looking just as apprehensive. "Cuz I for-fucking-sure am."

Daryl grunted, his lip rolling between his rough teeth. He  _was_  regretting this trip, his eyes jumping to Valentine who was waiting for his instructions like the others. Her face was blank, whatever she was thinking or feeling buckled tightly inside her, out of view for even him.

"In and out. Eyes open. Somethin' off, we're out. I ain't gettin' us caught up in somethin'."

They nodded to Daryl's orders and fell in line as he led them towards the unknown. The area was thick forest but after walking a mile or two the group saw the edge of the woods. As they approached a ridge above a large quarry they caught a sickening scent on the wind. Dead rotting flesh overwhelmed the air and soon the echoing groans of hundreds and hundreds of undead reached Daryl's ear. Approaching cautiously they found the quarry filled with shuffling bodies. The dirt roads leading down to it were blocked with semi-trucks, walkers stumbling off the paths and into the dead below.

"Mother of dick." Abraham cursed, his eyes landing on Daryl's before flicking to the women. "This what they were talkin' about?"

"Gotta be." Sasha replied, her brow furrowed as she watched another couple dead tumble off the edge into the pit of undead.

"You think their gonna get out?" Valentine asked quietly.

"Prolly." Daryl grunted, adjusting his bow to his back in order to use her binoculars. The area was secure at the moment but he could see the ground deteriorating around the truck's tires. The barriers wouldn't hold forever and when they poured out of their makeshift pen the herd would head straight towards Alexandria. Without action their new home would be trampled and devoured by the dead.

* * *

"My team saw it early on, back when we were on one of those first scouts, finding out what was around here. There was a camp at the bottom. The people, they must have blocked the exits with one of those trucks back when everything started to go bad. They didn't make it. They were all roamers. Maybe a dozen of them." Heath explained while the town crowded into Deanna's home. Rick had confronted her while the team was gone and she had confessed to the horrifying threat just waiting to be unleashed on the town. The residents were invited to the leaders home to discuss the issue as demanded by Rick. It had turned out to be information they had kept from the majority of the town siting there being no reason to worry them.

"No one's been back since?" Rick growled, his eyes jumping to Deanna who stood near her son Spencer.

"Reg was convinced we'd be able to secure the entrances," Deanna replied, her body tensing at the mention of her late husband. Valentine had heard the man responsible for the walls died during the construction, his life taken by walkers. Swallowing thickly she added, "I have the drawings around here somewhere."

"Building up the barriers won't work. The sounds going to keep drawing them," Valentine informed the woman, "they'll get out eventually."

Rick nodded, his hands resting on his hips as he looked over the townspeople. "I know y'all don't know us from Adam. We just got here and ya got no reason to trust us but walkers are already slipping through the exits. One of the trucks keeping the walkers in could go off the edge any day now. Maybe after one more hard rain. That exit sends them east. All of them. Right at us."

"What're you proposing?" A man asked from the left side of the room.

Rick glanced at Abraham and Daryl who had been discussing their options for the last few days. Their plan was risky and probably downright suicidal but there wasn't any other better ideas.

"We guide the herd, run it away from us and hope they keep going."

The room exploded with chatter, most exclaiming the ludicrousness of the suggestions. Deanna spoke loudly over the group, her voice shouting out, "Enough!"

The group simmered, quiet chatter still thrumming between the residents as Deanna assured, "We are going to listen to Rick and his group. We all know they have more experience out there."

"We don't know them." A woman growled, her eyes glaring at the group as a whole. "There's no way to know if it'll work and once they're out there's no going back!" Spencer growled from next to his mom. Her son Aiden shifted forward, "Spencer's right. We won't be able to control hundreds of deadheads. It's not possible."

"We have to try because it isn't a matter of if it'll happen, it's when." Rick spoke emphatically, his eyes blazing over the group. "If we plan out every variable. Every what if, we can do this."

The conversation continued, some Alexandrian's getting so fed up they left in huffs. One man got aggressive, pulling a gun on Rick he stole from the armory. Valentine ended the argument with her blade pressed into the guy's throat and her teeth bared.

"Val. Enough." Rick ordered, his hand yanking the gun away from the man before pulling on Valentine's shirt. She growled lowly, her chest vibrating aggressively until standing up and striding out of the house. Being fed up with the group's inability to see reason, the woman stalked out of the community and into the woods. Her blades out and eyes wild, Valentine began clearing the surroundings of walkers. With smooth movements her machetes slicing through the rotting skulls of the undead, their bodies a breadcrumb trail behind her. She wasn't surprised when Daryl stepped through the brush, his eyes searching for injuries with a frown.

"Don't like ya takin' off like that Val."

"I know."

"But ya still did it." He growled with narrowed eyes, his wide frame towering over her.

"I knew I wouldn't be alone for long." She quipped her smirk breaking the heavy tension in Daryl's shoulders. Rolling his eyes he muttered, "smartass."

They stood in the small clearing silently, only the rustle of the breeze and breath of the two sounding out. Daryl chewed his lip while gazing at her, his feet shuffling nervously. Valentine mentally rolled her eyes and huffed, "What?"

"Ya can't do shit like ya did back there."

Sighing she glanced at him but then muttered, "guy deserved more than my warning."

"That's your warnin'? Nearly cuttin' his throat?"

"He pulled a fucking gun on Rick."

"And Rick woulda handled it. They ain't gonna trust us if you go off half cocked and crazy eyed." Daryl drawled, his eyes flicking away before he added, "ya need to hold back a little darlin'."

Valentine temper flared up but she stuffed it down, logically she knew she'd lost it back in town. Her need to protect the ones she cared about overriding her ability to think things through.

"Fine." She growled, shoving her blades away, "But I'm not gonna watch them threaten us. They don't know what the fuck their doing."

"Just… reign it in Val. We'll work everything out." He assured her, his lip curling as he joked, "I'm the hotheaded redneck 'member?"

Stepping into his chest, her finger traced the seam of his flannel, she murmured, "yeah but you're my hotheaded redneck."

* * *

Daryl was lifting large panels of metal onto a flatbed truck with the rest of the scavenge group. They needed to get enough to guide the herd away from Alexandria and they were far from being prepared. Everyday was another day the dead could come marching towards his family. The eventual catastrophe being only one of Daryl's concerns, the second and more troublesome to him was the fact that Valentine was on the scouting crew a dozen miles away. Rick had ordered a perimeter sweep from sun up to sun down and Valentine was in charge of the groups. She was spending thirteen hours a day out of his reach and in the thick of it. He couldn't fucking stand it. The woman could take care of herself but it wasn't just her out there she was looking after. She was running a crew of two to five people, half of which were the greenhorn Alexandrians. To say he was worried, would be the understatement of the century.

"Dixon, were 'bout done here. Are we hitting up another place or headin' home?" Heath asked from the truck bed, his hands tightening the canvas straps securing the paneling.

"Gonna unload. Next place is too far to get back home before dark." He instructed, his chin ticking to the truck, "Starter up. Be up in a sec'."

Lighting a cigarette, Daryl began double checking the ties, his inability to trust anybody stemming from his nerves. He didn't want to go back so soon, the further he got away from Valentine the harder it was for him to settle down. If he took his time working in the field, he could be closer to her if needed. His chest ached the further he got and there was a constant knot between his scarred shoulder blades. Daryl needed her more than he thought possible.

Climbing into the truck's passenger seat he grunted, "A'right, le's go."

Heath shifted the huge truck into gear and pulled out of the field. Daryl flipped the visor down in front of him, his gaze falling on the tiny mirror. He stared at the receding forest and then the packed dirt roads, his narrowed eyes searching for any sight of her or a signal flare for help. The sky stay placidly blue and soon the woods disappeared and the suburbs reappeared. They pulled into Alexandria and were met with a few helping hands. Rick strode over to get a report, his eyes looking for any sign of trouble. Seeing nothing other than Daryl's usual tension the man slowed his pace. "It go a'right?"

"Mm." Daryl grunted, his hand gesturing for the group to unload near the front of the community. "No sign of her."

"That's good Dixon. Means everything's going as planned."

Rolling his shoulder uncomfortably, the knot tightening as they spoke of Valentine. "Could be no sign 'cause it went t'shit." He muttered, his thumb torn to bits as he shuddered at the idea.

"They'll be back in a couple hours." Rick assured, "We'll all sit down and talk over the next steps."

Grunting again Daryl headed off to their house, the man needing time alone without everybody's desperate need to assure him. Nothing was going to get his mind off it, nor change his gut feeling that shit was going to fall apart soon. He knew it was inevitable and just wanted to deal with it all while beside Valentine rather than alone.

* * *

Valentine paced along the quarry edge, her eyes watching the dead shuffle below her. They were keeping an eye on the eroding roads leading into the rutted earth filled with biters. She was working with two people today, all three killing any walkers drawn to the sound while watching for any escaping corpses. Aiden and Stephen were patrolling the woods with her, both of their clumsy footfalls and constant chatter making her insane. Valentine wasn't sure why she needed to have anyone with her, let only two moronic douchebags but Rick had insisted on a buddy system. She hated him for it but couldn't blame him. It was still irritating.

"Hey Val. Look at this." Aiden hollered from a dozen yards away making her cringe. Glaring at the kid she stalked over and looked at the corpse he found. The rotten body was once a young woman, her blonde hair now caked with blood. Her pasty skin, sagging and gray but the gruesome sight was the jagged 'W' carved into her forehead. Valentine's lip curled in disgust and she glanced around the woods as if looking for the culprit.

"What do you think it is?" Stephen asked, his brow furrowed.

"Trouble." She muttered, her eyes tracing the initial while looking of the rest of the body. Her wrists were bound and her clothing torn, the reason for her death plan as day, a thick cut circled her neck, the wound obviously from a dull blade. The woman was murdered and left to turn. The canyon filled with the dead weren't the only threat out in the woods.

"We need to do another perimeter sweep." She remarked, her head tilting towards the ridge.

"Why? This thing could've come from anywhere." Aiden argued, his eyes defiant. Sighing Valentine spoke slowly, "Yes and they could also be near. We need to know."

"Waste of time." the other man bitched but began trudging after Valentine regardless. They moved slowly, all three looking for any prints that could be the living. The trio found a pathway that led into a development of homes. The overgrown yards strewn with dead bodies and burned rubble. A chill trickled up her spine as they stepped over garbage and body parts. The area was destroyed much like Noah's camp, the signs of an invading force and a resulting slaughter strewn all over the paved roads.

"Walkers?" Aiden asked, his hand ringing the handle of his rifle nervously. Valentine could tell they hadn't be exposed to such depravity. They were still naïve to the way the world was now. It both infuriated her and caused a feeling of deep jealousy.

"People did this." She replied, toeing the shoulder of a body to roll the corpse over. Once facing up they could see the slit throat and one letter initial etched into its bruised skin.

"Fuck." Stephen gasped before promptly throwing up all over the concrete. Valentine's face scrunched up in disgust as she strode away from the men. She scanned the grounds for any fresh prints, her eyes hooked by a bloody boot print entering a home nearby.

"Keep watch," she hissed before striding towards the home, her body crouched as she circled the property. Peering inside she ended up on the back porch, her knife popping open the locked door. Valentine slid inside, her eyes scanning the kitchen and living room for signs of life. Once she entered the hallway leading to the back of the home she found a few more bloody footprints. The woman stayed low, her blade out and ready for anything coming her way. She moved cautiously through each bedroom and bathroom before finding herself at the bottom of the attic's doorway. Taking a calming breath Valentine headed up the narrow stairs, her flashlight in one hand as she noticed more blood trailing up the steps. Moving sideways along the wall with a light searching the tiny attic the beam caught sight of the end of the trail. A man dressed in filthy clothing was strewn out of the ground. His tennis shoes covered in the trail causing blood. The light landed on the man's arm to see the giant bite wound and the hand holding the gun he put himself down with. Brains and blood stained the walls and soaked the bare wood floor.

Sighing Valentine headed towards the stairs when she heard the sound of a large vehicle. Her body frozen for a moment before lunging towards the window. She could see the huge truck, rumbling towards the men keeping watch, their guns raised. Valentine muttered, "Shit."

Running downstairs she caught sight out a bedroom window of the truck stopping, several men hopping down to the ground. Both Aiden and Stephen were shouting orders for them to stop. Valentine exited the back of the house and began circling the group. She made it the whole way around, her body sliding along the back of the truck. Two more men climbed out of the truck bed, one using a walkie talkie. Static rang out but then a voice ordered them to subdue them. Valentine worked quick, her body lunging at one man, her blade sliding between his ribs into his lung while her other blade swung out into another guy's stomach. His insides spilled out while he screamed, the other two firing off two gunshots at her.

Moving low she ducked behind the car, her ears catching the thundering boots as Aiden fired off a couple rounds. He missed his targets, the two men following Valentine catching up to her near the other side of the car. She swung her left blade out, nicking the man with a hunting knife. He grunted in pain before swinging a large fist at her face. Dodging it she was tackled by the second man, her face smashing into the ground. The sound of another truck roaring down the road had Valentine grappling for control. Underneath the car she could see Aiden freeze at the sight of the new threat his eyes flicking to his friend before they tucked tail and ran. Her eyes burned holes into their retreating backs as the men above her pounded on her face and chest.

"Fuckin' bitch." One man sneered, his fist landing hard against her cheek.

"Fuck you!" she sneered, her knee flying up into his groin. Twisting her body, she grabbed the handgun tucked in the back of his waistband, squeezing trigger instantly without regards to where it would land. The loud gunshot and the man's piercing screams echoed against the concrete. The bullet tearing down the back of his leg causing blood to gush all over them. He flung himself away and the second man took over, his legs pulling back to land hard knees into her ribcage.

The second truck had arrived, several men jumping out, all heavily armed and angry. Valentine's weapons were ripped away, her body thrown towards the center of the road. She stumbled forward to her knees as far too many guns were pointed at her. Her chest was heaving, her panting breathe rough from the fight. Adrenaline was thrumming through her veins, the jitters coming fast and hard as fight or flight took over. She was out numbered and her body was screaming for her to run as fast and as far as she could but she was caught. There was no escaping the web she had just landed in.

When a familiar face stepped out of the large vehicle Valentine felt her heart stutter. She couldn't decide if Dwight's reappearance was a good thing or bad one. It really could fall either way depending on what happened in Sanctuary after ruling fist of Negan was gone.

The scarred man sauntered over, his bow strapped to his back and gun on his hip. His eyes told her nothing of his or his men's intentions. Clenching her teeth she stayed still as stone as he approached.

"I gotta say I didn't think you'd ever stray back this way Valentine." He commented, his head cocked to the side. "I know some people who'd like to get their hands on you."

'Ok, bad. That's probably really bad.' She thought anxiously. Her eyes scanning the group of men behind him.

"Most didn't give a shit when you killed Negan. Some were happy... Well until everything started falling apart." Dwight drawled, his feet circling her. "See Negan may have been an asshole and he may have been a fucking tyrant but he got shit done. He kept a roof over our heads and food on the fucking table."

Valentine swallowed the lump now developing in her throat. His revelations were what she was afraid of, that her personal vendetta got others killed inadvertently.

"He had fucking order and when you took that... Shit went south I guess you could say." He spoke calmly but his eyes were piercing and full of hate. "You wanna know what happened when the fear of being beaten to death for committing rape and murder was gone?"

Swallowing thickly she watched as he flexed his fists, his gaze pinning her with unadulterated hatred.

"You wanna know what happened to Negan's wives after he was gone?" He growled, stepping in closer to hiss in her ear, "Should I tell you what happen to my wife?"

Valentine ground her teeth and stayed silent, dread filling her as fury rolled off Dwight in waves.

"You wanna know how many men took turns before I found her?" Dwight snarled his hand reaching out to fist her shirt. "How about how long it took her to finally give up and slash her wrists to bleed herself dry?"

"Dwight I'm..." She murmured, but was cut off as he shoved her hard to the ground. A kick landed to her gut causing her to cry out and try to block the incoming hits.

"Don't fucking say it." He screamed, fisting her hair to growl in her face. "I don't want your fucking sorries, I want a pound of flesh!"

He stood up and paced away, his stride angry and posture stiff. Valentine panted as her lungs tried to work past the now injured diaphragm.

Dwight stopped in front of her, his arms crossed. "You remember Seth?" He asked, his gaze drilling into her.

Nodding once she fell back into her vow of silence like a bad habit. Seth had been an asshole, always taunting and prodding her for a reaction. She had murdered him when he caught her speaking to Daryl about escaping Sanctuary. Valentine hadn't thought of the man since she impaled him with a knife blade and had no idea why Dwight was bringing him up.

"See Seth had a brother, not sure if you recall him talking about him, but they were tight. They lost each other after DC fell."

Shifting uncomfortably in her skin she realized where the conversation was going. If Seth's brother had shown up, there was a high likelihood he wasn't too pleased with her.

Glancing at the men behind him she looked for someone resembling Seth.

"He's not with me." Dwight commented, his eyes drilling into her, "I'll be taking you to him shortly. Man he's gonna be so happy with me. I bet I'll get a fucking raise. Maybe he'll even let me have first dibs with you."

A chill ran through her blood, her heartbeat faster and harder than before. Nothing good was coming to her and all she could think about was that Daryl would never find out what happened to her.

 


	39. Chapter 39

After being stuffed into a vehicle bound tightly by the wrists, Valentine only had her mind to keep her occupied. She knew she was in for pain, probably a grievous amount of pain and in order to make it through it she would need to turn off everything human inside her. She needed to be the old her to survive whatever may come.

The truck she rode in was striped inside, the bare metal floor hot from the high noon sun and unforgiving as they rode over bumpy roads and potholes. Her head thumped against it several times, her ribs aching from the kicks she endured.

The caravan slowed down and eventually stopped, their destination unknown but it was not Sanctuary. They hadn't travelled near as long as they would have needed, to arrive at her old haunt. That fact helped her keep hope alive, she wasn't close to Alexandria but she was close enough to reach it if escape was possible.

The truck bed dropped open and she was unceremoniously yanked from the vehicle by her hair. She clenched her jaw and grunted in pain but refused to talk. Valentine withstood Negan. She fought through a year of punishments, fights and brawls, torture and much more and she never gave in. There wasn't anyway she was breaking for these men. Never.

After being dragged for a few dozen feet, Valentine was tossed to the ground in front of a pair of large motorcycle boots. Rolling onto her knees she peered up at the man who would decide her fate. She could see Seth in him, the tanned skin and large stature. His eyes were deep and expressive, his mouth curled into a malicious sneer, framed with a mustache and goatee. The man's shaggy dark hair was pulled back into a short ponytail.

"So this is the larger than life  _Valentine_." The predatory man announced, his lively eyes and smirk far too familiar to her. He was just as imposing as Negan once was but there was something much more dangerous in his eyes. It wasn't just violence it was something close to vengeance.

"I gotta say I was expecting someone bigger." He joked, strolling around her while rolling up his sleeves. Valentine eyed him up for any weakness but only saw thick muscles wrapped in tattoos topping large calloused hands. He wasn't going to back down, it was as plain as day, this man wasn't going to be letting her go alive.

Clenching her teeth anxiously, she glanced around her surroundings. They were on a farm of some kind, the land vast but fenced in with chainlink. There were different trailers and a large farmhouse in the center.

"She killed three of our men before we got control of her." Dwight informed, his hands resting on his hips as he peered down at her, the scarring on his face pink and gruesome.

Their leader strolled a lazy circle around her kneeling form, his large boots scuffing along the packed dirt. She felt him closing in and wasn't terribly surprised when he yanked her head backwards with a handful of dirty hair, her scalp screaming from all the abuse of the day.

"Dwight informed you of who I am correct?"

Valentine stayed silent, her teeth bared as he snarled into her ear. "Answer me!"

When she stayed silent the man lost patience, a heavy object slammed into the base of her skull causing her to see stars before blacking out.

* * *

Daryl was stalking back and forth while Abraham and Glenn blocked his path to the cowards explaining what happened in the woods. Aiden was adamant that they could do nothing, that the mystery group came and took Valentine before he could help. The boldfaced lie had Daryl, among others, more than willing to beat the man to death. Rick was trying to mediate but Daryl could tell he was barely holding back throwing a punch at the shithead himself.

"They just came. They had too man guys and guns. There was nothin' we could do." Stephen spoke over the shouts, "we figured we'd come and get help."

"Oh yeah and how we gonna know where they took her huh?!" Daryl snarled, his arms being held as he lunged at the men again. "I'm gonna stomp your fuckin face in." he sneered, his body tugging at the hands grasping him. "Lemme fuckin' go!"

"Dixon. Stop" Abraham growled, digging in his heels as Daryl pushed his way towards his targets.

"C'mon Daryl we'll figure it out." Glenn spoke calmly, his body blocking the raging man. "We'll get her back."

"Oh yeah?! Before or after they kill her. Or maybe after they do whatever the fuck it is they wanted her for huh?" Daryl growled, yanking his arms out of their grasp to pace more. He glared at the two men as Rick got the whereabouts of the confrontation.

Daryl couldn't pay attention to what was being said, all the man could think about was that every second that passed could be the very second that Valentine was dying. A group of heavily armed men taking a woman was more than disconcerting. Not even mentioning the fact that they were in the same state as Sanctuary. He knew they should have never gone North. Now Valentine was probably suffering for their mistakes.

"We gotta go Rick." He growled, his eyes pinning their leader, "the longer they got her..." Daryl couldn't even voice what his fears were in regards to what they could be doing to Valentine. The possibilities were nauseating.

"We will Daryl. We gotta plan this through. From the sounds of it, they got numbers and guns."

"Don't give a fuck. I gotta get her. I fucking..." He trailed off before hissing through the soul crushing pain, "I fuckin can't lose her man."

"I know." Rick rasped, rubbing his eyes before explaining, "if we go in with no plan, we could get her killed. We gotta get a group rounded up, weapons and a route. Two hours max and we're moving out."

"You know what they could do to her by then Rick?"

"I know. Believe me I wanna charge out there but we gotta plan Daryl. You know this brother."

Grinding his teeth Daryl stomped away, his goal to get ammo and a bag packed with medical supplies in case she was hurt. He wasn't going to sit around waiting for the go ahead. They could meet him there or not, he didn't give a fuck. He was getting Valentine back.

* * *

Valentine woke to find herself laying on a wet cement floor. Groaning she tried to move only to find her neck anchored to the floor. The heavy link of chain connected to something close to a leather dog collar except for the large lock hanging from it. The room was humid, the summer heat making it almost suffocatingly so. It smelled of mold and the little light that there was only highlighted the dust motes in the air.

Her eyes scanned the room, her vision blurred from whatever head injury she sustained, her skull feeling cracked. Blood crusted her hair into clumps and sticking to her neck. When her eyes landed on Seth's brother sitting in a chair next to a table lit by a camp lantern she froze.

"Welcome back." He greeted, his hand spooning some kind of food into his mouth. "Pardon me for eating but I'm going to need my strength for this."

Valentine swallowed thickly and sat up, the chain rattling loudly as she moved. She groaned as new bruises announced their presence, the men having not been gentle with her while unconscious. A jolt of panic ran through her as she realized they could've done just about anything to her while blacked out.

"Don't worry. No ones had a turn yet. It only works as motivation if you're awake." He informed blandly, pushing his plate away as he finished. "Now, it's not that I want that for you. Truthfully the whole rape thing isn't my taste but Dwight... Well with what happened to Sherry because of you. He isn't likely to forget that."

Staring at him without reaction, Valentine began remembering her tactics of compartmentalizing. Everything that was about to happen to her was going to need complete numbness.

'You are dead. Nothing can hurt you... Survive Val survive.'

"I'm Felix by the way. We weren't properly introduced, I got a little carried away." He spoke while watching her, his hand playing with a large hunting knife. "Do you remember my brother?"

Valentine kept her expression blank and her body stiff, waiting for violence. She wasn't going to interact with the man. Nothing she said would save her from being hurt or killed. The only way to escape that gruesome fate was to escape or hope the others were able to track her whereabouts.

"Dwight mentioned your silent treatment. Said you didn't speak more than a couple words for a year. No matter what Negan did to you." Felix spoke, his large frame standing from his chair to walk around her. When he stood behind her, Valentine felt him kneel close to her, his voice right next to her ear.

"I think I can get you to talk." He rasped over her shoulder, his warm breath giving her chills, "I'm going to find out where your camp is and everything there is to know about its people. And while I do it, I'll enjoy paying you back for killin' my little brother."

When Valentine stayed silent she was violently tugged by the chain attached to her neck, the woman grunting in pain. Felix towered over her, his foot pinning the chain to the ground causing Valentine's face to press into the damp ground. She felt scratches on her cheek and grit in her mouth. 'This isn't going to be good Val.' Was her last thought before the real pain started.

* * *

"Daryl!" Beth shouted while jogging down the street where he was throwing his gear into the car he commandeered. "I'm coming with you."

"No Greene, ya ain't." He rasped, open the driver's side door, "Maggie will be pissed if I take ya."

"She doesn't get to tell me what to do. Val came for me when I needed her. I'm going." The blonde spoke firmly, opening the passenger door. "Now let's get the hell outta here before they don't let us out."

Nodding his head in resignation, Daryl pulled up to the gate where Michonne was standing in the way. Shaking her head, Michonne quipped, "you didn't think you were getting outta here without me did you?"

The woman got the gate open before climbing into the backseat. Daryl watched as Rick and Glenn jogged down the street towards them but he didn't wait to be told not to go, instead he floored it, the tires peeling out as the car lurched through the narrow opening and into the outside world. They didn't have a plan and they weren't sure what they were facing but the trio wasn't waiting another minute to get back what belonged to them. They were bringing Valentine home.

* * *

She was crumpled on the floor, her shirt and bra lay in pieces next to her, her pants and shoes thrown to the side. Valentine was curled up on her side, her face aching and body throbbing from the interrogation it just went through. Felix was wiping his hands clean of blood, a grimace on his face.

"I thought Dwight was exaggerating about Negan. I thought how could anyone survive that type of punishment? I mean that's a lot of damage to someone but there you are. You're back is like ground beef." He commented, crouching in front of her. Valentine tipped her face up and stared him in the eye, her rage simmering below the surface.

"You're one tough bitch." He added, looking her over, "why'd you kill my brother?"

'Because he was a fucking asshole. Just like you.' She thought but ground her teeth to keep her snarky reply in.

"Shall I let the men come in and run a train on you? Will you talk then?" he asked, his eyebrow raised and mouth quirked. Valentine sneered at him, the idea of being assaulted causing a deep dark chill to run up her spine. She wasn't sure if she could stand to have it happen to her again and not just because of how deplorable the act was but the fact that she wasn't going to be the only one effected. If she ever made it back to Daryl he would have to also deal with it. Nothing would be the same again. There wasn't anyway Daryl would be able to look at her in the same way.

"I gotta say I don't think I've known a man with as big of balls as you got. Besides me of course." He joked, grabbing her face tightly in his hand. "Why'd you kill my brother?"

Sneering at his hovering face Valentine growled, "Your brother was an asshole. He attacked me."

"Bullshit." He snapped, shoving her head to the side roughly.

"I don't give a fuck if you believe me." she growled, her eyes burning into his, "I'm not telling you shit about shit other than Seth deserved the blade I gave him. So fuck him and fuck you."

A solid fist landed on her stomach, the pain causing her to instantly throw up. Falling to her side Valentine gasped and coughed up bile, her body throbbing from the punishment it was suffering through.

"You're going to regret saying that Doll."

* * *

They arrived at the location Aiden and Stephen last saw Valentine. Daryl parked down the road from the neighborhood the group had been scouting, his eyes scanning for signs of the other group or Valentine. The ground was littered with garbage and dead bodies, some homes burned to the ground and destroyed. It was what Aiden and Stephen had described, the sight very similar to what they had found in Noah's camp. Scoping out the area, Daryl took lead followed by Beth and Michonne in the rear. They worked methodically, all three scanning the grounds for tracks. As they found themselves in front of a large two-story home they found signs of a scuffle. There was fresh blood and gore splashed across the pavement and three fresh bodies. One man had been gutted by a large blade, Daryl surmising as Valentine's, while the other suffered from a wound to his ribs. As he looked over the last he saw he had died from some kind of leg injury. All three had been put down with a knife to the temple. Glancing at Michonne he rasped, "They ain't gonna be too happy with her."

"No, they won't be." she muttered, crouching next to the bodies. She searched their pockets for any information on where the group came from. The only item found worth a second look was a notepad with scribbled directions.

"That ain't Sanctuary." Daryl drawled, looking over the chicken scratch. "Ain't far enough."

Michonne nodded, her keen eyes looking over the ground. Daryl stared at the area where the fight had gone to the ground, the pattern showing at least three people involved. She was out numbered, out gunned and left for dead but she went down swinging. He followed the drag marks of a pair of size sevens to the tire prints of a large truck and muttered, "They drove outta here goin' East."

"That what the directions say?" Beth asked, her brow furrowed with worry. Nodding once Daryl chewed his lip thoughtfully. "Prob'ly. We keep goin' it's gonna get sticky. Ya both up for it?"

Michonne snorted, her hand wringing her katana hilt, "You stupid now Dixon?"

Rolling his eyes he looked at Beth who looked more apprehensive. "Ya don't gotta go Greene. Ain't gonna be mad at ya."

"I'm going… do we have enough people though?"

"Nah. Prob'ly not." He replied, rolling his shoulder as if they weren't walking into a probable war zone, "There's about a dozen footprints here. That ain't countin' whoever they got back at their camp."

Swallowing thickly she offered, "Should we wait for everybody else? Now that we know more. They aren't going to know where we go from here Daryl. They won't have these directions."

Growling he looked away, the words making him angrier because of how true they were. "Fuck." He grunted, shaking his head while willing away the chest crushing guilt he felt for standing still for even a moment while Valentine was out there on her own.

"Copy the notes. I'll wait for them. You two go." Beth offered.

"No I ain't leavin' nobody. Not when this groups around." He growled, "Val would kick my ass if I left either y'all out here…. We'll wait."

Michonne nodded, her eyes just as tense and guilt ridden. Daryl wasn't sure if she was trying to make him feel better or herself when she muttered, "She'll understand. She'll get us havin' to do this smart."

"I know she will but it don't make it right." He replied, before pacing away from the two women. Daryl couldn't stand still and wait, if he stood still it meant he wasn't doing anything to save Valentine and if he wasn't trying at all, Daryl didn't deserve her back.

* * *

"Come on sweetheart. Even I don't want to go through this shit anymore. Where's your camp?"

The man shoving into her from above grunted along as Felix continued to interrogate her. The last hour had been true torture; the stuff out of nightmares and Valentine knew it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Dwight had been the first, the statement of getting first dibs being spot on. The man currently assaulting her was the third but it felt like the hundredth. Her body was sore, her insides were on fire and Valentine wasn't too sure how much longer she could stay quiet.

"End this all. Tell me what I want to hear." Felix encouraged, from the side.

Dwight was pressing her hands into the ground as the other man dirtied her further. She ground her teeth and glared at the window through blurry eyes, her ability to compartmentalize slipping from her control. Twisting her head she snapped her teeth at Dwight's arms, the man dropping an elbow to her face.

"Fuck." She sputtered, spitting blood at him and the man still violating her. "Fuckers. I'm gonna kill all you motherfuckers." She snarled, her legs kicking out as the guy grunted above her. Felix stood silently, his gaze controlled but she could see his disgust in the act.

"Might as well join asshole. Standin' by means you're ok with it." She shouted, throwing her head forward into Dwight's leering face while pulling against his grip.

"Sherry would be so proud of you." She strangled out, her voice rough and cracking as the man finished with a disgusting groan. Her words earned her a solid fist to the nose, more blood flooding her mouth and choking her. Valentine's vision went spotty as she tried to breath through the thick fluid draining down her throat. Hands grabbed her arms, yanking on her already sore body. Snarling in pain, she felt her head sway with dizziness as she flipped to her stomach. "No!" she gasped, as she pressed face down into the rough flooring, her knees scraping across the cement.

"Tell us where your group is." Dwight growled into her ear, his hand fisting her hair.

"Rot in hell Dwight, you fuckin' coward." she panted, her chest heaving painfully.

The man pulled her head back before slamming it into the concrete below her, the blow causing pain to splinter across her face before she blacked out.

* * *

The others arrived at the spot Valentine was taken a half hour later. Daryl could see the rage in Rick's eyes but more than anything, relief that they were still there.

"Find anything?" he asked instantly as Daryl approached.

"Got directions. Don't know if its where they took her but it ain' Sanctuary."

"New outpost or someone else?"

"Don' know but they got numbers. Count at least a dozen here not counting the men Valentine killed."

Rick grunted, his eyes scanning the area, the man noticing the decomposing bodies and destruction.

"Same as Noah's camp." Daryl offered, his narrowed gaze landing on the others with Rick. He could see Abraham and Sasha as well as Glenn and Tara. They didn't have a lot of people but the ones they had with were fighters. They could do this, they could get her back.

"Lead the way," Rick drawled, ticking his chin to the cars. "Daylight's wasting."

* * *

When she woke up the room was empty and dark but the outside was filled with noise. She could see the glow of fire out the tiny window and the rowdy sounds of men shit talking. Spitting blood out of her mouth Valentine rolled painfully to her side, her hand cupping the ribs that we're sure to be broken. Her breath was gravelly and painful, her nose congested with blood and broken cartilage. Both of her eyes were black and blue, her left one swollen almost shut.

Valentine had struggled so hard before they left her alone that her left arm had been forcefully pulled out of joint and left to lay limply at her side. If she stayed completely still Valentine could almost pretend she wasn't in excruciating pain but it was close to impossible to do. Every breath was agony, every blink of eye, torture.

"I always knew Dwight was an asshole but he's out done himself." A voice broke the silence from the shadows. Valentine's swollen eyes peeled open to see Negan shifting around the room as if he still existed, his leather jacket worn and his red scarf wrapping his throat.

"Go away." She choked out, pain splintering with the barest of movements. Her ribs felt like broken glass buried in muscle and body like a well used punching bag. The figure moved closer, his tall frame crouching next to her head. "M'sorry Angel." His voice was gruff, the cadence making her chest cinch.

"You're not real." she gasped, the desire for him to actually be real causing her to swallow a sob.

"Doesn't matter. You need me here for some reason."

"I don't need shit from you." She muttered, blinking slowly while tucking her hand against her sore side. Laughing slightly Negan, his smile bright while he teased, "You're always so stubborn."

"It's why I'm alive."

"No shit." He commented, pushing hair out of her bruised eyes. He hissed through his teeth and he murmured, "I'd kill all these motherfuckers if I could Love but it's gotta be you. You gotta figure a way out this shithole."

"I know." She sobbed, squeezing her eyes tightly as tears leaked through the seams.

"Shhhh..." he comforted, "I wouldn't have let this happen to you again if I could." He murmured, lying down next to her, his hand rest on top of her limp arm. She could feel the warmth from his palm as if he were truly with her, the sensation causing a shudder to run up her spine.

"Yeah well, you ain't here." She murmured tiredly, the small part of her wishing he could actually be there to help her, growing exponentially.

"Oh yeah, and whose fault is that?"

"Shuddup." She sighed, staring at him with blurry eyes, tears dripping from her bruised cheeks. "Don't rub it in."

Smiling slightly he spoke firmly, "You're going to survive this shit Angel. I know you. It's not your time."

"How?" her voice was tiny, the fear of never escaping making her feel weak and broken. Negan shrugged lazily, sitting up and climbing to his feet. He peered out the window and instructed, "You do whatever you gotta do and you make these fuckers pay. Channel me for fucks sake if you gotta but you are not dying down here. You got me Love?"

"Yeah," she rasped, coughing while wincing in pain. "Yeah I do."

The door slammed open causing her to snap her jaw shut, the haunting figure gone from the dark room. Felix entered with a new man, his figure willowy compared to the giant next to him. His eyes were trained on her crumpled form, his mouth downturned into a scowl. Squinting she finally made out whom it was Felix had brought with him. It was Doc from Sanctuary.

"Just make sure she doesn't die. I'm not done with her yet." Felix instructed before stomping up the steps and out of the basement.

Doc came closer, his lanky frame crouching next to her. She watched as he set a bag down and began pulling out medical equipment.

"I'd say it's good to see you but it isn't, not like this." He spoke softly, his hands moving cautiously towards her. "I'm going to check your vitals and clean some of these cuts."

"It is good to see you Doc." She rasped, her voice rough from screaming and shouting.

Valentine laid still, her mind stuck in the numbness she had enforced.

"Could you pop my shoulder back?" She asked calmly but with a grimace as he checked her ribs.

"It's gonna hurt," He muttered, his hands probing the deep bruises on her sides. Valentine didn't reply, her teeth grinding as he quickly rolled her shoulder back into joint, a loud and excruciating pop echoing in the room. Snarling in pain Valentine held the limb close to her body as he worked on cleaning the wounds on her face. Her eyes fell to the small knapsack that held his supplies. There were bandages and alcohol but what she focused on was the surgical scissors. Lowering her eyes to the floor she took a few even breaths, steeling her nerves and working out her possible next steps. If she were able to get the slim pair of shears, Valentine could kill the man in front of her. Kill him and somehow cut her way through the leather collar they'd tied her up with. If she did all of that before Felix or another henchman arrived she could possibly get the jump on them.

'Yeah fucking right,' she thought with disappointment.

Opening her eyes she watched Doc pulling out gauze and ointment. The scissors were right there. She could almost feel them, the cool metal in her palm and the curved tool fitting perfectly around her finger. Valentine could image what they'd feel like sliding into his neck and the warmth that would pour over her fist as he bled dry. However she just couldn't do it because even though he worked for Negan and now Felix, the Doc had only ever helped her. Killing him felt wrong.

"You won't be able to escape with just a pair of scissors Val."

"I only need the scissors to get through the leather, I can kill everyone else with my bare fucking hands if I have too." She growled angrily.

Nodding to her words, Valentine watched him glancing at the door every few seconds, his hands shaking as he worked. Doc finished up what he was doing and as he packed his gear away she watched as he pulled the shears from his bag and murmured, "you stole these from me."

Valentine stared as he sat them next to her leg and then climbed to his feet moving to exit the basement. Right before he exited she warned him, "Run if you get a chance Doc." The man connected eyes with her, giving her a stiff nod before leaving the dark stairwell.

Moving quickly Valentine scooped the shears up, the edges far too dull to her liking but she would make them work. Sliding one part under the collar she began using all the strength she had left to cut through the thick material. It was slow going but soon she felt the material begin to split. The sound of approaching men though had her pause with caution. Removing the scissors, Valentine pulled all her hair forward to cover the damaged material before lying down in her side, the weapon hidden underneath her in the hand cupping her ribs. Swallowing thickly she prayed for one man to come and no more. The door creaked open and she heard boisterous laughter outside but after the door slammed shut only one pair of feet descended into the room. With squinted eyes she watched as Dwight wandered around her in a large circle, his stumbled step showing off his intoxication.

'Come a little closer you fucking asshole,' she sneered inwardly, the idea of murdering him her new goal.

"Never understood Negan's obsession with you." He commented with a smarmy grin, "But after getting a taste I can understand now. I think I'd like another serving."

After a few hard kicks to her back and ribs, Dwight yanked at her legs, his hands greedy and bruising. Valentine let him work, getting him as close as possible her new goal. As he spread her legs apart and began unbuckling his pants with sloppy hands Valentine gripped the scissors tightly in her hand, the weapon still just out of sight.

When Dwight twisted her to lie on her back Valentine took the blade and shoved it upwards into his side, twisting it towards his kidney. He snarled in pain and began struggling with her, drunken fists flying and legs pinning her to the ground. Blood gushed all over them as she struck something important. The man wasn't weakening though and began wailing on her from above. Valentine grappled with him the blade dropping to the side, her hands the only available weapons. They tussled, her body restricted by the still attached chain, the links clanking along the cement floor as they fought. Her knees landed a well-placed kick to his groin making him grimace and moan in pain.

Using the extra length of chain attaching her to the floor Valentine wrapped it around Dwight's neck, the thick metal coil cutting his air off. He scratched and scraped at her but she held on using her own neck to cinch the chain around his. They were face to face, her nose almost touching his as she pulled with all her strength, her knees pressing into his bloodied stomach. This was it, him or her and she wasn't dying yet. She wasn't leaving Daryl to walk the earth alone. She was going  _home._

His face turned red and purple as she yanked hard enough to snap his neck. The man's body went limp below her as she panted hard, sweat and blood dripping from her face. Pain radiating from her ribs finally got her attention but she ordered herself to ignore it. Unwrapping the metal quickly, she began searching all of his pockets for a key. Coming up empty she began hacking at the leather until it finally broke in her bruised hands. Scrambling around the room she pulled on pants and shoes before stealing Dwight's flannel, lighter and weapons. There wasn't much time to plan, she knew it was only a matter of moments before someone came looking for Dwight or to visit her. Escaping the basement was a now or never situation in the most literal sense.

* * *

The directions led them to a small RV park filled with shitty trailers. The perimeter was a loose alarm system of tin cans and glass bottles. Rick was crouched next to Daryl, shoulder to shoulder as they scouted ahead. His eyes were just as wild as a Daryl's as both men focused on the two guards casually lounging next to a rusted out doublewide.

Daryl crept up fast, his bow coming down hard against one man's temple as Rick lashed out with the hilt of his Python. Both men collapsed allowing them to be secured by the others while the two men searched the property. Finding two more group members sleeping both Rick and Daryl jammed blades into their temples, putting them down before they knew what hit them.

Scouring every trailer only brought up increasing dread. Valentine was nowhere to be found and there wasn't a shred of evidence she was ever there. Growling Daryl stomped back to the two men knocked unconscious outside. Abraham and Michonne had secured them with zip ties as they'd searched the property.

"Nothing?" Michonne asked, her forehead wrinkled and eyes worried.

Daryl shook his head once, his eyes looking over to two men that were waking up to find themselves prisoners. "Gonna find out where she is right now." He drawled, his stride purposeful and dangerous. Daryl wasn't going to stop cutting parts off those bastards until they told him where Valentine was. They were going to tell him what he needed to know or die painful deaths.

 


	40. Chapter 40

Shoving the table to the tiny window Valentine peered up to see what was outside. There was a truck parked nearby, the rusty vehicle sitting beside a wood shed, it's bed filled with hay. Looking the other direction, she saw a few trailers side by side and a couple shadows of men walking around. Pushing on the window, the warped wood squeaked out loudly, the sound causing her heart to pound harder against bruised ribs. Cringing, Valentine shoved it once more allowing a space big enough for her to squeeze through. Her teeth clenched harshly when her broken ribs ground together on the windowsill and she swallowed a whimper as her stomach scraped across a bent nail.

Crawling along the side of the house, Valentine slid under the truck her eyes flicking to her surroundings for an escape. Closing her eyes, she sighed in frustration and then stared at the truck above her trying to figure out her next step. There were too many voices wandering around and she had no way of knowing when one might come wandering around a corner.

While staring blankly at the undercarriage of the beater she noticed the gas tank sat in front of her, the metal flaking rust from its bent edges. Looking to her left she saw the overgrown grass and wood shed, giving her an idea for a distraction. Taking the knife she stole off Dwight, she jammed the tip into the tank. Gas poured out, the reeking liquid pooling on the ground. It ran towards the grass surrounding the wood shed as the fumes stung her eyes and nostrils. Scooting far away from the liquid she flicked Dwight's lighter, tossing the zippo into the flammable puddle.

A fireball burst out, the heat hitting Valentine's face as the grass and wood caught fire. Crawling the opposite direction she moved into the shadows away from the men's loud voices. Shouts echoed out soon as the fire blazed high, the wood popping and crackling as the flames licked the sky.

Crouching next to a dead air conditioner unit, she could hear them trying to put the inferno out. Using their distraction she slid into another shed, pulling an axe off the wall for added protection. Ducking out and around she came face to face with a man with a rifle. Swinging her newly acquired weapon up despite her screaming ribs, Valentine buried the axe deep into his face. The body fell to the side with a thud, the handle yanking out of her weak grasp. Grunting while wiggling the blade out, Valentine continued on her path, the weapon held to her side. She was heading for the nearest stretch of fence hoping to climb out and run as fast as her broken body would get her. Another man was heading her way though, causing her to drop behind the closest trailer. New shouts broke out as the truck exploded, the twisted metal jumping off the ground before falling to the ground noisily.

"Find her!" A loud voiced hollered, the men had discovered her escape. She sunk deeper into the shadows, her body tensing as heavy feet ran past her towards the fire. The fence she was headed towards was now filled with the dead, the noise bringing walkers into the area.

'Fuckers.' She growled inwardly, her body crouched low as she skirted towards a parked truck hoping for keys. As she stepped past a small out-building a hand grabbed her, the man struggling to get her under control. Kicking out with a growl, her attacker tackled her to the ground. Gasping in pain she clawed at his face and just as she felt him tightening his hands on her throat, his body went limp. The man fell to the side unveiling Doc with a large bloodied crowbar in his hand.

"Follow me." He whispered, his free hand grabbing her wrist to pull her from the ground. Clinging to his hand they jetted around another set of sheds to get to the vehicle, a man now standing nearby. Valentine gripped the ax, her body moving faster as she recognized his red flannel shirt. She sneered at the familiar shape, the weapon high above her head until she swung downward. The blade cleaved itself into the back of his head, the man buckling to the ground with a crunch. Her chest was heaving as she glared at the crumpled mass of one of her attackers, his head cracked open and spilling onto the grass. "Fucker." She sneered, spitting on the body while kicking it.

"C'mon." Doc hissed, yanking on her injured arm. Groaning in pain she sped up to keep him from tugging on it any harder.

They ended up at a truck, the man pulling opening the door quickly. Just as they were about to climb in, a panel of the chainlink fencing collapsed inwards, the dead began pouring into the area in droves. Doc shoved Valentine into the cab before climbing inside himself. A biter slammed against the door, it's mouth scrapping along the glass. Screams rang out as the men in camp became overrun with the dead. Turning the key, Doc shifted the vehicle into gear and floored it. Tearing around the yard he tagged walkers and humans alike, the tires rolling over the fallen bodies without pause.

Loud gunshots rang out as the group fought the dead off. Valentine slammed the lock down on her door as a man tried to climb in with them, his frantic hands ripped away as they sped by. Driving over a fire pit, ash and burning logs flung across the windshield as Doc swerved passed a man with a rifle aimed at them, the gunshot ricochetted off the hood.

Peeling out through the fallen fence he plowed over a horde with gritted teeth. "Move you poxy bastards." He growled while steering around the incoming corpses. The pair fishtailed out into the huge field, gravel spewed out behind them as gunshots pinged off the truck's end. Valentine was panting, her eyes wide and mouth open, she clung to the armrest as the woods flew by. The man driving had his foot pressed to the floor as they sped down darkened roads filled with incoming dead, his breath ragged and hands tightly wrapped around the steering wheel.

The ruckus had brought a herd towards the group and all Valentine could hope for was that the whole lot of men were wiped from the earth in the most painful way possible. Eaten alive.

"Where?" Doc asked, his wild eyes landing on her swollen ones. Swallowing thickly she replied, "Away. Just… Away."

Peering into the side mirror, she watched the orange glow and tarry smoke rise into the night sky, blanketing the moon and stars. The compound was finally fading into the distance as the woman passed out leaning into the passenger door window.

* * *

One of the men spilled everything as soon as Daryl's knife slid into his thigh with painful precision. The other was beaten unconscious by Rick's heavy fists when he kept his mouth shut.

The trailer park was just another position the group held for teams on extended runs from their main camp. From what Daryl could get out of them, was that they were from Sanctuary and Dwight was still alive. The injured man confessed to knowing of Valentine's capture because it was broadcasted over their radios. He'd seen her fight back when she lived there and recognized her name. After a few more not so gentle prods they extracted directions to the camp she was being held at, the location an outpost with a considerable armory. If Daryl's group wanted to attack they'd have to do it by cover of night. They needed the element of surprise in order to even have a chance at retrieving Valentine.

It was decided to continue on towards the other camp, both prisoners gagged and thrown in the trunk. Rick surmised that they'd be useful later and if not they could get rid of them. He held no qualms with the execution of possible threats. Possibilities were just as dangerous as sure things. If anyone or anything was a possible threat to Rick's family, he would destroy it. The people who had taken Valentine were in for a world of hurt.

Daryl rode shotgun while Rick drove, tapping his ring nervously on the steering wheel. Flicking his eyes over to Daryl's, Rick rasped, "Ya shouldn't have run off. Anything coulda happened, it coulda been a trap."

"Well it weren't, so who gives a damn."

"I give a damn Daryl! Hell ya think I can do this shit on my own? Runnin' off and get ya'self killed ain't gonna do no one, no good. Especially Val." Rick exclaimed his eyes moving from the road to Daryl's profile repeatedly. Chewing his thumb, Daryl peeked over at the man he considered a best friend and brother. He knew Rick was right, knew that Valentine would be pissed at him for heading into trouble with no plan. It was stupid and he could have gotten Michonne and Beth killed but he couldn't do  _nothing_.

"Ya see that?" Rick rasped, his body leaning forward to see what was coming towards them. With no headlights they couldn't tell if it was another vehicle until they were almost on top of each other. The truck in front of them slammed to a stop, a shadow in the front seat moving around.

"Everybody eyes open." Rick ordered into their walkies before climbing out of the car, gun drawn.

"Outta the car!" Daryl barked, charging forward with a handgun raised aggressively. "Now!"

Without waiting a second Rick charged up, yanking the door open and pulling the man out. His eyes caught sight of a bloodied Valentine slumped over in the seat. "What'd ya do to her?!" He snarled, his revolver still pointed at the guy.

"Wait. Wait. I just... I was just." The man stammered as he was shoved to his knees and patted down for a weapon. Daryl ran to the other side, opening the door to get to Valentine. Catching her body as it fell out of the cab without the barrier, Daryl laid her on the ground while the others dealt with the driver. Michonne and Beth joined him as they tried to wake the unconscious woman. Her face was gruesomely swollen, bruised and bloodied. There were a few bandages holding split skin together but most of her injuries were bleeding freely down her face and arms. He didn't recognize the shirt she was wearing which made his blood boil. Moaning deeply Valentine shifted on the ground, her hand gripping her ribs.

"Val." He gasped, his shaky hands framing her face gently, "Fuck, wake up Darlin'."

"Nee?" She mumbled, one eye flicking open before closing again. "I did it, Nee."

"What?" He muttered, glancing at Michonne who shrugged. Meanwhile Rick had secured the man traveling with her. Daryl could hear him stammering out the details of their escape and how he knew her from Sanctuary. The group helped move Valentine into the backseat of one of the cars, Daryl climbing inside with her despite the lack of room. Kneeling in the tiny foot space he held her hand as they spun their cars around to head home. Rick glanced in the review mirror at Daryl and rasped, "He was the doctor at Sanctuary. Said they got a new leader. Dwight was there too."

"How'd they get out?"

"Says she started a fire, the dead got in and they ran." Rick detailed, his car swerving around the sudden influx of dead. "Explains where they're all goin',"

Peering through the window Daryl saw a stream of undead following the road towards the direction Valentine had come from.

"How is she?"

Daryl ground his teeth and shook his head, he couldn't speak, all he could do was hold Valentine's broken looking hand and trace his eyes over every visible injury to her face and body. He swallowed down the acrid taste of guilt, his stomach churning at the sight before him.

Peeling up the darkly stained shirt he saw a large cut on her abdomen and so many bruises her skin was no longer pale white but now a horrifying rainbow.

"Fuck." He hissed through his teeth, the sight making his gut turn. He could actually make out boot tread and the shape of knuckle prints on her battered skin. They had almost beaten her to death. Hell, she could very well be dying in front of him. Daryl knew someone hurt that badly could have internal bleeding. They needed to get back to Alexandria before her condition got any worse.

"Faster." Daryl growled, his eyes pinning Rick with a look of desperation. "Fuckin' faster."

* * *

Loud voices and flashing light had Valentine jolting awake, her fists and feet lashing out.

"Whoa!"

"Hold her down."

Screaming as she thrashed away from the hands grabbing her arms, Valentine felt like she was weakening by the second. Her body was sluggish and heavy, her limbs refusing to fight for her. "No. No!" she screeched, her body arching away from the tightening grips.

"Shhhh. Val." A voice broke the thrumming of her deafening heartbeat. "We gotcha. Ya a'right. Ya safe."

"Please." She choked on the word, her head throbbing and body aching. "P-please."

The woman couldn't get anything else out of her bruised lips but pleas for the words to be true. Pleas that she was safe and sound and far away from that disgusting basement.

"You're ok. Its ok." A calm female voice whispered by her head, "You're safe. You're safe."

* * *

When Valentine woke she found the blonde doctor at Alexandria sewing up a gash on her stomach. Grunting in pain at the pull she scanned the room to find Daryl and Rick speaking in the corner. As soon as she moved they were headed towards her with concerned eyes.

"Val." Daryl gasped, dropping to his knees next to the bed. His hand rest gently on her arm, the man avoiding the contusions and cuts.

"Hey." She croaked, her voice hoarse and painful, "How long I been out?"

"Few hours." Rick answered, his shape hovering over Denise's shoulder. Daryl's eyes were drilling into her but she could barely keep eye contact. Nodding slightly, her neck aching from the collar she'd escaped from. The room was tense as the doctor worked, Valentine holding back moans of pain to keep from upsetting Daryl.

"Guys could you step out… give me some room to work here?" Denise asked, as the silence grew heavy and awkward.

They looked at each other before returning their eyes to Valentine. The woman sighed, "Go. Be fine."

Daryl hesitated the longest, only leaving when Valentine patted his hand, "I'll be fine."

The doctor worked slowly, her hands finishing off the stitches easily. Watching her wipe down the area before peeling open a few gauze pads, Valentine glanced to the kitchen part of the home where she could see Rosita sanitizing the tools they had used.

Valentine swallowed thickly, the question she needed to ask stuck in her throat like a shard of glass. "Do you... " She paused, her voice sounding alien in her ears.

"Do I?" Denise replied, her eyebrows raised and her hands paused in mid-action.

"Do you have any..." She swallowed again and choked out, "morning after pills."

Denise's eyes got wider and then dropped to the floor, her hands fisting the bandages into crumpled balls. Valentine peeked over at Rosita who had heard the request despite her desperation to speak quietly.

"Y-yeah.. Hold on." The doctor answered, her hands dropping the cotton onto the supply table before rifling through the cupboards, pulling out different boxes of pills. Valentine trained her eyes on the floor, the burning under her lids making her feel weak and broken.

"I was going to start you on antibiotics because of your injuries. They'll work for any secondary infections from... I need to do a pelvic exam Val... I'm sorry."

"It's fine." She murmured, nodding while wiping the corner of her eye with her uninjured shoulder.

Denise's hand touched her shoulder gently, her head dipping to see Valentine's eyes. "It's not but it will be. Let's go in the back. Rosita make sure no one comes barging in."

* * *

She lay on the exam table in the private room of the medical clinic. Her shaky legs up in stirrups as Denise slid a pair of gloves on. Valentine flinched when the other woman touched her leg to adjust the angle.

"Sorry. Sorry." Denise murmured, "I'm sorry Val. I've got to touch you now."

"Just... Do it."

The doctor was quiet until she found the injuries left behind. A startled gasp and the beginnings of a sympathetic apology had Valentine choking out, "No. Stop. Don't talk.. I can't" she sobbed throwing an arm over her eyes as if to hide the destruction. "I can't talk. Just.. Please just do what you've got to do. I need to get this over with."

The young doctor nodded, her mouth set into a firm line and she assured, "I'll work as fast as I can. "

Laying back she looked at the ceiling and breathed through the pain of the examination and medical care.

"Where are they?" Daryl's voice caught Valentine's attention, her head rising up from the bed.

"They're in the back." Rosita informed, "No wait Dixon. You can't go in."

"Why not? What's going on?"

"You just... They need privacy right now."

Valentine was chewing her lip while Denise continued the exam, the words being exchanged outside the door as clear as if they stood next to the bed.

"Damn woman I've seen everything.. She my..."

"Dixon! They need... Valentine  _needs_  some privacy right now. I know she's... yours. But this is something... Private."

There was an awkward silence, both Valentine and Denise seemingly holding their breathe until Daryl seemed to catch on.

"The fuck... Are ya sayin'... She was?" The words were stilted and became gruffer as spoken. Valentine wasn't sure if Rosita said anything or nodded but the next sound was something being thrown across the room with a loud clatter.

"Daryl! Stop!" Rosita shouted but the front door slammed shut, the force rattling all the windows. Valentine released a breath and muttered, "That went well."

"He'll be ok... He just needs time."

After everything was done that was needed Valentine was assured there was nothing life threatening.

'If only.' She thought scornfully, a deep depression sinking into her bones. The first time she was assaulted she didn't have time to think about it, she was too busy dodging Lucille. Now the events of the last twenty-four hours were all she could think of and feel. Everything hurt, from her pinkie toe, to the top of her head. There were bruises on top of bruises. Valentine wasn't sure how long it was going to take for her to heal from the event physically, but mentally she knew she would never be the same. The woman that left Alexandria just a day ago was never coming back and all that was left was a broken mess.

* * *

The front door opened and Rick entered, his face more strained than before, his eyes scanning her with new clarity. Valentine couldn't even keep eye contact, her lip bitten between her teeth nervously.

"He gone?"

"He just... He needs some air." Rick drawled, while fidgeting with his wedding ring, the movement something Valentine had noticed he did while nervous or thinking.

"It wasn't..." She started, shaking her head as if to clear the train of thought. "It wasn't even the first time Rick. It's... It's happened before." Valentine had never told anyone about her first attack. Not even Daryl knew she had been raped before they'd met. It wasn't something she thought about or ever properly processed. It was safer to forget.

Rick's eyes were burning into her, his hands balled into fists. "Negan?"

"No... It uh... It was on a run. Three men..." She choked on the words before continuing, "they jumped me. Negan, he saved me.. He destroyed them for me." She ended with a growl but clenched her eyes and muttered, "and with Negan... That was me. I did it. It was me with him. I instigated that and it was  _all_  me."

Rick sat watching her start to unravel. She sucked in a jagged breath, her ribs aching at the rough movement.

"And before... The first time, I could handle it. It was fucked up. It was horrible and- and- and I hated it. But I... I could handle it." She stammered through her darkening mind, her hand raking the hair off her forehead with a grimace. "But this, Rick, this.. I'm not the old me and- and it's not just me. It's not just me who has to deal with this shit. It's not just me, it's  _Daryl_." Her eyes were overflowing as she began to feel smothered by what had happened, her chest clenching so painful she sucked in a painful gasp.

"And- and I'm not good. " She choked, shaking her head hard, "I'm not good at stuffing the bad down. Rick. I'm not good at it anymore and this? This is something I need to shove away. Far away because if I don't... I don't know what will happen. I don't know what I'll  _become_."

Rick's hands had taken hold of her trembling ones as she cried silently, the tears dripping from her face. "I don't blame him for leaving. It's fine. I understand it."

"He's not leaving forever, Val." Rick rasped, clearly his throat roughly of the choking emotions.

"He should... He really, really should. I'm not." She paused, sniffing loudly, "I'm not... okay and I won't be."

"You will."

"Rick." She started, her eyes barely meeting his, "You don't... You can't know that."

"I know you." He growled, his hands squeezing hers, "You will."

Valentine swallowed thickly, her eyes landing on the medicine she needed to take. His eyes landed on them also, the man glaring at the boxes with some kind of recognition.

Changing the subject and probably trying to distract her Rick offered, "Carl's asking to see you."

"Not yet. Please." She murmured, resting her head back into the pillow below her. The man she conserved a brother and close friend nodded, his eyes jumping to the door before retuning to hers, "A'right. Look Val, Daryl will be ok. You both will be ok."

"I'm tired." She murmured, her mind shutting down and the desire to be very quiet for a very long time flooding her.

"Get some rest. I'll see you later."

* * *

"I need a shower." Valentine blurted when Denise returned from the back room.

"You can't get your stitches wet."

"I need a fucking shower or I'm going to peel my skin off." She growled, her eyes pinning the woman with a look of visceral desperation. Denise nodded and glanced at Rosita, "One of us will have to help, you won't be able to wash with broken ribs and that injured shoulder."

Swallowing thickly Valentine couldn't help the ire at the situation. She couldn't stand the idea of not only being too weak to clean herself but also the horror of exposing herself fully to a stranger. They had both seen her, only it was in pieces and covered in gore. Once washed clean whoever drew the short straw would see her, the real her.

The only person on the planet who had seen her at her most vulnerable was currently stalking through the woods probably destroying anything moving in sight. Her chest ached with such intensity that a sob was ripped out of her, her hand clapping over her mouth to hold it in.

She felt her whole body shudder at the need to have Daryl near her. Valentine had thought she understood his absence but she found herself cut down with such hurt from his departure. She needed him and he wasn't there. And now she would have to trust a complete stranger to wash off the filth that was suffocating her.

"K-k." She stuttered, her eyes flicking away as tears threatened to spill over.

A knock broke the intense stalemate, Valentine's heart pounding harder than before. Her breath stopped as Denise opened the door to unveil Michonne. Dropping her eyes in disappointment but feeling equal relief. The woman was as close to a sister as she had and had seen her at her worst after Negan. If anyone could help her get through a bath, Michonne could.

Biting her lip Valentine watched the woman stride towards her. She perched on the bedside, her gloved fists clenched so tightly the leather creaked. Valentine dipped her chin in consent and Michonne didn't waste a second, her arms thrown around Valentine's sore shoulders. Unable to hold back the injured woman let go, jagged sobs ripped through her like a thunderstorm.

The moment could have lasted for hours for all Valentine knew and by the end of the catharsis she was bloodshot and exhausted.

"Let's get a bath, I'll help ya." Michonne murmured, "You smell like a walker."

Huffing out a pathetic laugh, Valentine let Michonne help her get up. The bathtub was already filling up, Denise or Rosita having started it while the two had some privacy.

Once inside the bathroom, Michonne helped her out of the clothing she had on. The tub was only half full, the water low enough to not touch the stitches in her stomach. Michonne knelt by the tub and used a cloth to help wash away blood, mud and walker gore. She was gentle on the vast array of bruising and scrapes, hissing as the colors became more vivid as the dirt rinsed away.

"Jesus Val." She whimpered, her forehead pressing against Valentine temple as the bruise circling her neck came to light. The thick leather having left a lasting impression and was framed with cuts along her neck from hacking herself free. Michonne wept for a moment before swallowing it down to continue washing her injuries. The process was slow and the tub had to be drain twice to get clean water. Once clean, Valentine was helped out of the tub and dried off. The whole time Valentine couldn't help but feel pathetic.

"Stop." Michonne ordered while pulling clothing onto the woman's now dry body.

"What?"

"Stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking because it's breaking you. You're not broken and you won't break."

Valentine chewed her lip and she nodded but muttered, "you're gonna have to help me with that too."

"I can do that. Now let's get you to bed. I'm fucking exhausted so you gotta be."

* * *

Daryl climbed the stairs of the clinic as Michonne slid out onto the porch. Her eyes landed on him like a sledgehammer. The glare was scorching and had Daryl stopping in his ascent. He knew everyone was going to be pissed at him for leaving as soon as he found out Valentine was assaulted. He didn't blame them and he wouldn't blame her for never wanting to see him again but he couldn't stay when he found out. The revelation had kicked the air out of his lungs and all he could see was red. Daryl couldn't stand to see what had happened to the woman that he loved because he didn't protect her. If he left sooner or hadn't waited for the others, maybe he could have stopped it from happening. Maybe she wouldn't be lying inside broken, bruised and abused. If only he had insisted on working with her rather than construction. Daryl had left because he couldn't face what he hadn't prevented.

"Got some fucking nerve Dixon." Michonne growled, her hands fisted and shoulders squared.

"Ain't your business." He snapped, the untruthfulness of the statement souring his stomach. He tasted bile in the back of his throat from just thinking them.

"Lashing out at me isn't gonna change the fact that you weren't here." She scolded, her eyes softening though, "I understand you needing a moment but this ain't about you. It's about her and she fucking needed you tonight."

Daryl chest cinched into a tight knot, his breath knocked from him as his eyes blurred the world around him.

"I couldn't-." He choked on the words, his throat closing up at just the thought of what had happened to her broke him. His mind had flooded with questions about the event… events? Jesus Christ he couldn't even stand to think about the possible plurality of the abuse she suffered, so he ran.

"And she gets it. She's gonna say it's fine, that she was _fine_  and it is fine but she  _ain't._  You gotta be here and you gotta get over your-fucking-self. The only way she is making it through this is if you're available to her. One hundred fucking percent Dixon." Michonne's tone became threatening, "you can't run when it gets tough because that woman in there may seem indestructible but she is close to falling apart."

"I know." He rasped, his lip bloodied from his desperate need to suppress his inner collapse. There wasn't much that could bring him to his knees but failing someone he loved and respected  _destroyed_  him. Daryl felt as if he had not only lost the best thing to ever happen to him but that he had failed the only person to have ever loved him.

"Hey." Michonne murmured, her hand hovering over Daryl tensing shoulder a moment before dropping away, "Dixon."

Glancing at her the anxious man grunted, "Wha?"

"It'll be ok Daryl." The affection in her tone making his neck heat, "Just be there for her. Don't run from it."

Nodding stiffly he glanced at the door. "It bad?"

"Yeah." Michonne croaked, her eyes filling as she looked away. The sight of the stoic woman upset had Daryl frightened of what he was going to find inside the medical center. He couldn't stay away forever though because despite his visceral desire to flee the emotional situation, he desired Valentine more. He had to have her in his life and the only way that would happen, would be figuring out how to survive what she just went through, together.

* * *

Rick stood near Daryl inside the tiny clinic, the man returning to her side despite his need to sleep. "I won't pretend to know what you're feelin' brother. I've never been in your shoes but I love that woman." He glanced at the bruised and battered Valentine. "She might as well be my blood."

"I know."

"Ok well she's gonna need us to hold our shit together." Rick added, his eyebrows high, looking for agreement. Daryl didn't respond to the statement, he didn't need everyone to remind him of his weakness and failures as a man.

"Her arm broke?" Daryl asked, changing the subject as his eyes landed on the sling Valentine's left arm was supported with.

"Dislocated shoulder, the doctor put it back before they left. You'd know that if you'd stayed." Rick answered, the man continuing to prod Daryl to talk about his disappearance.

"Man... Ya know me. I'm not... I'm not good at this shit." He blurted out, his hand throwing up in frustration.

"What shit?" Rick asked, his eyebrow raised as he turned to look at Daryl head on.

"Feelin's 'n shit." He growled in a hushed tone. "I ain't no people person."

"Coulda fooled me." Rick snarked, with a hidden grin and amused eyes.

Huffing a frustrated breath Daryl growled, "Shuddup. Ya know its true. I ain't gonna be able to do this shit."

"What can't you do Daryl?"

"I can't fix this!" He exclaimed before snapping his jaw shut, his eyes looking for signs that she was awakened from his outburst. Rubbing his tired eyes Daryl fixed Rick with a look of helplessness, "I can't fix this and I ain't fuckin' smart enough t'know what she's gonna need. I'm just gonna fuck her up more. I ain't ever had to deal with someone who's been… through what she's been through."

"Daryl." Rick spoke, his voice sorrowful and gentle. "Brother. No one can fix this and all she is gonna need is for you t'be there for her. Ya know her better than anyone."

"But not like this. Don't know how to deal with this."

"Daryl..." Rick started his eyes drifting to the woman sleeping across the room, something similar to guilt flashing across his face, "This... Daryl, she told me that it happened before.. Before we met her."

"What?" he breathed the word more than spoke it, his narrowed eyes landing on her bruised face. "She never..."

"Most don't. She buried it but now.. I don't think she's gonna be able to do that again." Rick drawled, his eyes sorrowful.

"Don't want her too..." Daryl growled, his eyes scanning her with new eyes. "What did she say?"

"She was rambling but she said she was jumped. That Negan saved her... Killed them. Sounded like the only good thing he'd ever done." Rick explained, his arms crossing.

"That explains..."

"Explains what?"

Daryl chewed his lip, his eyes jumping from Valentine to Rick. She had confided to him all those months ago about her confusion with Negan. How she grieved him and even missed the monster. If he talked about it, he was betraying her trust but Daryl couldn't help wanting his brother to help him understand. There was no way he'd be able to support Valentine without help, Daryl wasn't built for dealing with emotional wreckage. He wasn't a healthy well-adjusted adult, it wasn't how he was raised and even though Daryl had grown in the last two years, he was far from perfect.

"After... Him." He growled, his eyes flicking to Rick's scowling face. "Afterwards, she regretted it, killin' him. Got messed up and felt like she… cared about the prick. The fucker got in her head Rick." He glared at the floor and muttered, "him savin' her is prob'ly how he got to her."

Rick nodded, his hand cupping his mouth while watching Valentine's body shifting uncomfortably, a moan causing Daryl's body to coil up. "What do I do?" Daryl rasped, his gaze landing on Rick's equally tense eyes.

"Ya do whatever she needs," he replied, his hand gripping Daryl shoulder tightly, "and I'm gonna be right there with ya."

 


	41. Chapter 41

Valentine woke to find Daryl curled around her in the tiny bed, his thick arms holding her securely. Smirking at the sleepy look on his face she brushed the hair from his forehead affectionately. 'God how I love this man,' she thought with chest aching awe.

Her body was very sore and shifting away from the heavy limbs wrapping her had a groan of pain escaping. She felt the man awaken, his grasp tightening rather than easing. "Dare. Let go." She muttered, her voice hoarse. "Hurts."

His face burrowed deeper into her neck, his arms feeling larger and more imposing.

"Stop." She gasped, pulling herself away from the man smothering her. As she got a few inches of space his head tilted up to show instead of Daryl holding her, Dwight was sneering back at her. His scarred face red and warped, the eye bulging from its socket grotesquely.

"Fuck. No." She growled, her body kicking out as she yanked on his jacket to get him away. "Stop."

His hands gripped her wrist with crushing force and he rolled her to her back, his legs pinning her. "Come on  _Angel_ ," he sneered into her face, "I want another fucking ride."

"NO!" She screamed in a broken voice, her hands clawing and feet flailing, "Stop! No!"

Valentine gasped, her eyes popping open to see Daryl holding her hands down as she tore at her IV and his face. She could see blood dripping from his eyebrow and swelling on his lid. "Shhh. Val. I gotcha. Ya a'right." He was murmuring over and over as he tried to wake her.

"M'sorry. Please. M'sorry." She panted her eyes jumping around the room as if Dwight were going to pop out at any moment. " M'sorry. M'sorry."

"Shhh. Breathe darlin'." He rasped, his hands stroking the hair off her face and rubbing the wrist he had pinned down. "That's it, keep breathin'."

After several deep breathes, her ribs screaming at the motion, Valentine laid her head back and bite her trembling lip. She still felt on edge, adrenaline still pumping through her injured body. Her dark eyes jumped around the room still, her mind still expecting someone or something else.

Daryl moved to the small dresser that had a wash basin and a few bottles of water. He grabbed her a bottle before tending to his bleeding eyebrow.

"Shit Dare. I'm sorry. Let me look at it." She apologized while watching him stem the blood flow from the cut caused from her clawing nails.

"M'fine. Don't worry about it." He drawled, his lip twitching, "ya hit like a girl anyways."

Valentine snorted and shook her head, "smart ass."

"Yes'm." He replied with a cheeky grin. Sitting down next to the bed she watched his face grow serious again, "You wanna tell me about it?"

"No." She replied with a sigh, her fingers gently rubbing her eyes of dampness.

"Might help."

"No." She repeated sounding even more weary. "Just… No."

* * *

Valentine spent most of her time in the medical clinic sleeping or pretending to sleep to avoid talking to everyone. Her body was bruised so extensively that moving too much was excruciating, her ribs causing breathing a chore. Denise wanted her up and out though by day three with threats of pneumonia, blood clots or muscle atrophy. Valentine felt she was being a little dramatic but headed home regardless. She wasn't sure why hiding out at the doctors house of all places felt safe but it did. Mostly she thought it was because people left her alone. If she was there, she must still be gravelly injured. Once home it was like a giant "visit the sickly" billboard was placed outside. She knew what was going to happen as soon as she was home, well meaning lookie loos were going to visit her.

Daryl had stayed by her side until she begged him to go back to doing what needed to be done. She couldn't stand the way he was looking at her, as if she were a time bomb waiting to go off. The man loved her no matter what, she felt it in her bones but she also knew he wanted details. Daryl wanted, no needed to know what they did and who did it. Valentine couldn't tell him, she couldn't describe what had happened without losing it and she didn't want to lose it in front of Daryl. He blamed himself already, shouldered the weight of her kidnapping and her injuries. If he knew the extent of what had happened he would never forgive himself. She also felt that if he were to find out, Daryl would never look at her the same way. The safest thing for her to do was swallow everything down, pack it away and force herself to forget the event ever occurred.

Michonne and Carol helped her home, Daryl having left with the others on a run of some kind. No one was filling her in on any day to day issues and she couldn't find it in her to care. As long as the walls were still up and they had some food to eat, things were fine. She wasn't sure if the people that survived the herd would come looking but she was hopeful they would at least need time to recuperate. Valentine knew Felix survived, there was something instinctual, a gut feeling, that they would cross paths again.

The women climbed the stairs slowly, Valentine gritting her teeth as her ribs ground together. "Almost there." Carol encouraged.

"No shit. I'm not fucking blind." Valentine snapped, huffing out a pained breath through clenched teeth. Her temper had been burning hot lately, the more pain she felt the ornerier she got. She stumbled as dizziness claimed her balance, her feet tripping over each other. Michonne clutched her closer causing more pain to shudder through her body.

"Fuck. Let go." She growled, gripping the doorway with white knuckles and shaking knees. Taking a few breathes before they began to walk again, Valentine bite her lip in concentration. Eventually they made it to a bedroom, her belongings as well as Daryl's had been stored.

"We're all sleeping in bedrooms now, no more bedrolls." Carol quipped, as Valentine looked around at her clothing stacked on open shelving in the closet right next to Daryl's. She sat on the edge heavily and watched Michonne remove her boots with a sigh.

"I lost my blades." She murmured, a sadness settling heavily on her chest like a anchor.

"I'll find you new ones." Her friend offered, her eyebrows raised.

"They were Paul's." She whispered, her eyes avoiding theirs as hers flooded with confusing tears.

"Maybe they'll find them there." Carol offered, before snapping her mouth shut, her fingers resting over her lips.

"What?" Valentine inquired with a furrowed brow.

Sighing deeply Michonne gave Carol a dirty look, motioning for the woman to leave. Once Carol was gone and the door shut Michonne replied, "A group went to investigate the camp you came from. To make sure they were all dead."

Valentine's jaw set tightly, the bruising along her jaw throbbed from the pressure, "Daryl went?"

"Yeah."

Huffing out a breathe she muttered, "he's just torturing himself by going."

"Rick's with him. He'll keep him from tail spinning." Michonne assured, her face just as troubled.

Rubbing her eyes with a wince, Valentine's broken nose made itself known. She couldn't touch a single part on her body without hitting a bruise or scrap. The woman had been beaten up before and gravelly injured by Lucille but it was the first time she had felt so weary of recovery.

Looking at Michonne with tension filled eyes she asked, "Did Doc tell them everything?"

Her friend shifted weight from one foot to the other, her eyes moving to the wall, "What he knew. He's been wanting to see you but we weren't sure you'd want to see him."

Nodding Valentine looked out the window, the view nothing but corrugated steel and a small patch of grass.

"It's fine. He's saved my life more times than I can count." She replied eventually, scooting back onto the bed. Michonne got pillows situated to brace her sore shoulder and arm before pulling up a blanket over her feet.

"I'm such an invalid." She muttered while grimacing.

"Won't be forever." Michonne assured while standing up from the bed. "I'm going to get you something to eat and then I gotta go on patrol. Carol will be around if you need anything."

"Thanks Mich." she murmured, her head sinking back into the pillow.

"No problem. Oh and Carl's probably going to come see you now that you're home."

"That's fine." She yawned, her eyes falling heavily. The energy she expended stumbling home was catching up to her.

* * *

Beyond the trees was a large farmland, in the center was a farmhouse, a few sheds, trailers and a barn. The property had been fenced in with chain link, as well as an outer split rail barrier but the herd that had been drawn from the fire and gunshots had trampled it. The farmhouse was only partially burned but most of the trailers were destroyed. The barn stood untouched as it were the furthest structure from the obvious epicenter. 'Hurricane Valentine,' he thought ruefully.

There were a few walkers tangled off the fencing, their hands grasping at wire or tangled in the barbwire wrapping the split rail fence.

Inside the compound Daryl could see countless dead bodies and burnt corpses. With binoculars he observed the structures and abandoned gear.

"Looks wiped out, got some walkers but no livin' that I can see." He rasped quietly, his eyes scanning their surroundings looking for more information about the group.

"Had solar and looks like water reserves. Some gardens.. Most of its all burned up but the barn." He added, handing the scopes to Rick. He assessed for himself before muttering, "Hopefully the armory was in the barn or the part of the house not cavin' in."

Nodding slightly he ticked his head to the left, instructing them to circle the property for a better look inside before approaching. The group moved through the thick forest, Daryl scanning for tracks of the other group fleeing the scene. They needed to know if anyone escaped.

"We'll go back round, see what we see and collect what we can. Then head home." Rick whispered as they climbed up and over a few fallen logs. Daryl agreed with a grunt while chewing his lip. He couldn't get the evening before out of his mind.

Valentine's nightmare had her waking with such fear in her eyes that it had Daryl frightened for her. She refused to talk about it and he could see her literally curling into herself. The woman was traumatized and shutting down. He wasn't sure what to do or how to help. It wasn't as if he could stop her from dreaming and when she woke the last thing she wanted was for him to hold her. Valentine's eyes had been wild and pinned him in his spot. It wasn't the first time that she had controlled him with a single gaze but where it was usually with a fire that burned bright and angry, this look was all fright. The woman was terrified. Of him. Of everything. It was the first time he wasn't sure that she would be all right.

"Sunshine really showed these fuckers." Abe commented while toeing a corpse over. The man had been hit with a large sharp object across the face, his skull spilt almost in half. He wasn't sure why but he just knew she had killed him. Wandering through the burnt out cars, putting the undead down Daryl looked for signs of the living. There were a few spots that had held vehicles that were now empty, prints leading away. One set was the truck Valentine had escaped in. There were at least two living group members, possibly more depending on how many had climbed aboard.

"Abe check the barn with Heath and Glenn. Daryl, Aaron and me are checking the house." Rick instructed.

Daryl didn't want to go into the house but he couldn't help himself either. The man that helped her escape, Doc or William as he was introduced, told them everything about the group and its camp. They knew she was held in the basement while "interrogated" as he put it. 'More like tortured,' Daryl thought while his chest filled with fury.

Stepping over a couple dead bodies he found the weapon used on the first man, an axe buried deep into the back of a dead man's head. The body was half burnt and half eaten, the axe sticking straight up from the back of his skull. He glanced at Rick who nodded in silent agreement, Valentine's handy work. The men killed with the axe had been of the living breathing variety. 'Fuck 'em.' He thought while chewing his lip nervously. Dread was chilling his bones as they neared the place, a fear of what they would find making the man hesitate.

They climbed the half collapsed stairs into the large farmhouse, entering the door which was left wide open. The rooms had been trampled by the dead and partially burned. Clearing the living room and kitchen first the trio moved up to the second floor bedrooms. Rick slammed a hatchet into a snarling dead man, his legs eaten from the knees down.

They collected weapons and ammo that had been left behind as well as packed up food stores from the kitchen. The entire time in the kitchen Daryl kept glancing at the door leading to the basement. Rick sighed, scrubbing the back of his neck and drawled, "it won't make ya feel better. Prob'ly make it worse."

"I know man... Just." He stopped at shook his head. Daryl wasn't sure why he wanted to torture himself but he needed to know, he needed to see where they kept her. A clattering noise caught their attention, the sound coming from the basement. Glancing at Rick and getting consent, they both headed down to the basement.

"Stay watch." Rick rasped to Aaron, who nodded solemnly, his rifle in hand and ready.

With flashlights shining bright into the cavern, Daryl's beam landed on the walking corpse of Dwight. He shambled towards them, his face blue and gray, his neck purple with bruises. Bile rose in Daryl's throat as he watched the corpse stumble again, it's legs tangled in its lowered pants, the meaning not lost on either of them.

"Fucker." He growled before slamming the dead man against the wall with his forearm while snarling back at the undead monster.

Rick held back but was close enough to help if needed but Daryl didn't need help, he needed vengeance. Flinging the body across the room, Daryl began to kick the shit out of the writhing corpse. He stomped on its stomach and chest before taking aim to its skull. Daryl wished he could make him suffer, tear him limb from limb but the bastard wouldn't feel a goddamn thing.

It wasn't fair.

The raping bastard didn't suffer near enough to soothe the burning inferno raging through Daryl blood right then. He wasn't too sure he'd ever be able to stop until he heard Rick calling his name, breaking the spell of violence. Sliding his bow off his back he aimed it at the dead man's forehead while stepping on his neck. Dwight clawed at Daryl's leg as he glared down at him, tears blurring his furious eyes.

"C'mon brother." Rick murmured, "put him down."

"Deserves more." Daryl choked out, his eyes closing tightly as he sucked in a jagged breath. His body was shaking with tension, his arms taut and poised to fire, his sweaty palms wringing his weapon's hilt. Rick clasped a hand on his broad shoulder and replied, "I know man but it won't change nothin' and it won't help nobody."

Swallowing through the thick knot in his throat he squeezed the trigger, the bolt silencing the writhing corpse. His arm fell heavy to his side, the bow jammed into his thigh painfully but he didn't react, physical pain was better than what he was feeling inside anyhow.

Stepping away Daryl scanned the room, his eyes falling on the chain and broken collar, the surrounding floor stained with blood. Growling he walked to the spot where Valentine had been abused, his fist clenched as everything hit him harder than ever before. Dropping to his knees, his weapon clattered to the ground as he picked up the gray tshirt, the fabric torn in half and stained with blood. He balled the shirt in his hand as his chin dropped to his chest. Sucking in a painful gasp the man couldn't stop himself from fracturing. A cry wretched out of his aching chest as Daryl broke, the man falling forward to press his fists into the stained concrete, his head bowed as he sobbed. He could feel Rick crouched near him, his hand gripping the back of his neck while Daryl lost it. Sitting next to the spot Valentine had suffered had him feeling as if he was absorbing the pain she'd gone through. Rib cracking cries tore through his shuddering body while he lost all control of himself. His body fell forward and he pressed his forehead into the rough ground, the same place Valentine's own injured face had once rested. The last time he was that wrecked was when he found Merle turned into a cannibalistic monster and eating the sinewy flesh of a dead man.

"Calm down brother." Rick's words finally made it through Daryl's emotional breakdown, the man sucking in painful shuddered breathes. Wiping his face roughly he tossed the shirt aside and clambered to his feet with Rick's helping hand. He felt embarrassed for falling apart but knew if there was anyone in his family that could understand, it was Rick. When Lori died he had gone off the deep end, the man knew what it was like to drown in guilt. They both knew what it felt like to fail a loved one.

"Let's go home." Rick suggested, his head tilting to the staircase, "collect their gear and get the hell outta here."

Nodding Daryl scrubbed his face again before taking the stairs two at a time. Just the phrase "let's go home" had the man desperate to return. He wanted to be with Valentine. He needed to be with her. Seeing the basement had made one thing very clear to Daryl, they would need each other to make it through what had happened. Neither of them would survive it otherwise.

At the top of the stairs he came face to face with Aaron, who had obviously heard the heartbreaking cries from the basement. Daryl glared at him with red puffy eyes and stepped out of the kitchen to search the living areas once again. Finding nothing of consequence Daryl exited onto the porch and lit a cigarette, his narrowed eyes sore and swollen. He watched as Abe and Glenn stacked supplies onto one of the trucks abandoned from the group's sudden departure. They had found some big bags of grains and other farming supplies. Alexandria would profit from their run and hopefully the community would get a full farm running soon.

Abe approached when they finished up just as Daryl stamped out his second cigarette after chain smoking his stress away. Keeping his blood shot eyes away from the man, Daryl grunted a greeting.

"Hey." Abraham drawled, "got somethin' for ya."

Glancing over at the large man to see Valentine weapons belt and machete sleeves in his large hand. Chewing his lip anxiously Daryl reached out and took the weapons carefully, the worn hilts and leather splattered with blood. She had fought hard with them before they were taken from her. He would have to clean them before he returned them, she would never have put them away in such a state.

"Anything inside?" The redhead asked, his eyes tense and obviously aware of Daryl's emotional state.

"Some food and lots of gear." Daryl rasped, his voice hoarse from crying. He knew they most likely heard him, it was a big property but sound travels easily on the wind. "Ain't an arsenal but it'll do."

"Good." Abe replied, his eyes looking towards Aaron and Rick who were loading up their supplies into the stolen truck.

"A'right. Let's go back to our car. Head home." Rick instructed, climbing into the passenger seat while Abraham took the drivers seat. Glenn was squeezed into the tiny cab space behind the seats while Daryl, Aaron, and Heath climbed into the back, all three sitting on bags of feed and boxes of canned goods.

* * *

They were riding in silence, Aaron driving the SUV they picked up from its hiding spot. Glenn and Heath were in the backseat discussing a supply run they were planning to a large outlet mall on the cusp of the state's border. Daryl sat in the front seat, his foot pressed into the dashboard, while his thumb was chewed between his teeth. He was trying to tuck away the anger and hurt from the day but couldn't stop picturing the bloody floor and rusted chain. The circled bruise on her throat made sense now, the broken leather collar had been wrapped around her narrow neck tightly. The image of a undead Dwight with his pants down flashed through his mind and had Daryl growling under his breath. Rubbing his face he tried to shove the fury away but couldn't stop his leg from tapping anxiously and his teeth from gnawing at his cuticles.

"Daryl, I uh…" Aaron started but Daryl cut him off, "don't."

The man glanced over, his mouth downturned and eyes troubled, "I just wanted to tell you if you needed anything..."

"I need ya t'mind your own goddamn business." He snapped, his eyes blazing and fists clenching. 'This is what I need,' he thought while grinding his teeth, 'some fucker to punch.'

Daryl couldn't help but want to fight someone or something. He needed to express the rage he felt for the situation and the easiest way was always violence. It was the Dixon way and it had worked for this long, why not indulge he thought.

"It's my business. I brought you all back because I care about the living. What happened to Valentine-"

"Don't want to fuckin' talk about what happened to her, ya hear me?" Daryl snarled, his body turning in the seat, "I don't need some goddamn asshole tellin' me how to feel."

"I'm not trying to I just want you to know I'm hear if either of you need anything." Aaron replied, the man seemingly not upset by the anger aimed at him. It was obvious that he was cool under pressure, he'd shown it when first meeting with Rick and he showed it while handling a volatile redneck.

"I'm serious Daryl. Anything you two need."

Daryl chewed his lip, his narrowed blue eyes skipping to the two quiet men in the backseat before returning to Aaron. "A'right." He rasped, looking away before the man tried to continue the conversation. The rest of the ride was quiet and Daryl spent most of it trying to get his head on straight before he had to face Valentine. The idea of looking at her and not breaking down like a little girl seemed impossible now that he'd seen where she'd been hurt. He needed to be stronger because the woman he loved deserved someone who could take care of her not weep on his knees like some kind of broken idiot. The scene he caused in the basement couldn't happen again. He needed to contain himself to help her.

* * *

A gentle knocking woke Valentine, her bruised eyes peeling open to see Carl hovering in the cracked door. Smiling at the teen caused her split lip to sting but she held it for a moment. "Hey. C'mon in."

Walking over cautiously Carl sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes flicking over her injuries before landing on the quilt.

"I'll be fine." She assured him, seeing the worry crumple his face.

His piercing eyes rose to her's and he murmured, "I was really scared you weren't coming back."

"Me too." She croaked, closing her eyes a moment before sliding them back to him. "But I did and I'll be ok. Just need to rest."

Nodding Carl picked at a loose thread while chewing his lip. Valentine put a hand on top of his, her scraped and bruised knuckles a harsh contrast to his young hands. "What's up Carl?"

"I'm just... I heard stuff. About what they did..."

Valentine closed her prickling eyes and squeezed his hand. "I wish you hadn't."

"Why?" He asked, his eyes confused and slightly defiant.

"Because you shouldn't have to think about that. It's... There's no reason for you to worry about it." Valentine knew the world was different, kids were no longer kids and they knew of the atrocities that the living committed on a daily basis but she couldn't stand that he knew. She didn't want him seeing her as broken also and couldn't stand the look of pity in his young eyes.

"I'm worried because I care about you Val.. You're... I miss my mom but you... help and I hate them. I hate they did that to you."

Valentine swallowed thickly and assured, "I love you Carl. Like my own, ok? And I'll be ok."

Carl leaned forward to hug her, his face pressed into her injured shoulder making her grimace but she held onto him.

"Love you too Val."

Stroking his messy hair she kissed his temple, "It'll be ok. You don't have to worry alright?" Sniffing and wiping his face with the back of his hand, Carl mumbled, "still gonna worry."

Valentine laughed quietly, squeezing him once before he sat up. "You and everyone else."

A sound from the doorway had her looking up to see Daryl leaning against the entryway, his broad shoulder pressed into the door frame. He forced a smile but it didn't reach his eyes causing Valentine's chest to clench with guilt. She felt as if she was ruining everything.

"Your dad's lookin' for ya kid."

Rolling his eyes like a teenager, Carl stood and offered, "you wanna play cards tomorrow?"

"Sure. Bring Judy. Haven't seen her yet."

The teen smiled and stood to leave, the older man squeezing his shoulder on his way out. Daryl sauntered in, closing the door before striping out of his vest and jacket. She watched as he kicked his boots off and then stood on the other side of the bed.

"Can I?" He asked, his lip bitten between his teeth while he gestured to the bed.

"Of course." She replied with a smile, patting the empty side of the large mattress. Crawling into the bed, Daryl kept a space between them which made Valentine sigh inwardly. She knew he was being cautious about touching her. Valentine knew it was her fault, all the flinching and grimaces when he touched her while in the medical clinic had cemented in his mind she didn't want to be comforted.

She knew things were going to be strained now and she wasn't sure what to do about it. Logically she knew Daryl would never hurt her, he wasn't those men and she craved the affection he could provide but as soon as his warm skin touched her, she froze. There was a deep dread filling her that she wouldn't ever be able to get over the touch aversion.

"Ya feelin a'right?" He rasped, as he lay on his side while staring at her profile. Turning to look at him while staying on her back she nodded slowly and asked, "find anything?"

She watched a darkness pass over his face, his eyes hardening. It was as she suspected, the man was now torturing himself with what he'd seen at the camp. She felt shame for what he must have seen, if the farmhouse hadn't burned down he had most likely seen her holding cell.

"Found your blades." He replied, his voice hoarse with emotion "Gonna clean 'em up for you." Valentine smiled at that, "good. I was thinking about that earlier."

Tracing the pattern on the quilt with his finger he whispered, "Saw the basement."

Chewing her lip she stared at the ceiling and murmured, "figured you would. I don't want to talk about it."

"Ya should."

"Would you?"

"What?"

"Would you want to talk about it?"

Daryl's eyes hardened and he looked away, Valentine knowing what his answer would be. They were similar in many ways but their coping skills were identical. Stuff it down and try to forget. Unfortunately despite knowing it never worked they were both too stubborn to change their ways. So Valentine wanted to stay silent and hope to save Daryl from any further pain. He was already drowning in guilt, why add to it with details?

"I wouldn't wanna." He finally answered at a long silence, biting his thumb while flicking his eyes over her face. "But if ya wanted to know I'd... I'd try at least."

Swallowing she twisted the blanket in her hand, her scabbed knuckles aching and stinging. Her breathing was elevated slightly as she tried to find a way to pacify his need to know without exposing any details.

"Ya know the biggest scar on my back?" He drawled, jolting her out of her emotional downward spiral.

Nodding she watched as he pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. "I was ten when I got it. It was summertime 'n Merle was off doin' whatever the fuck it was he did and I was stuck in a shithole trailer with my Pa. He'd been livin' off disability from some warehouse job, hurt his back supposedly. His check would be in the box on the second o' every month and it was my job t'bring it in 'fore he got up from wherever he blacked out the night before."

Daryl shifted to his back, his eyes distant as they stared at the ceiling. Valentine was on edge, her breath coming in shallow pants as she began to fear hearing about the man she loved being abused as a child. A ten year old Daryl had her picturing her son Michael in his place, her chest aching at the thought.

"That mornin' it was rainin' so goddamn much the driveway was jus' a river. I hiked down there all barefoot 'cause I didn' wanna get my only shoes al wet. What I didm' know was Pa and his shithead friends had been breakin' beer bottles all damn night."

Valentine sucked a breath through her teeth and muttered, "assholes."

Laughing wryly he glanced over and continued, "Yeah. So I go on down and get there jus' fine but on the way up I step on a big ol'piece and slip. I drop the mail in the mud and get covered myself. My foot gushin' everywhere and by the time I get up to the porch everythin's soaked in either mud or blood. 'course I trip and fall, wakin' the fucker up and he was none too pleased with me. Hollerin' about ruinin' his payday. Screamin' about my blood everywhere."

Rolling his shoulders, she could see him getting to the more uncomfortable portion of the story. Scratching his fingers through his graying chin hair Daryl glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Never seen him so damn pissed 'fore. Even with Merle and man he used t'beat the ever loving shit outta Merle."

Sighing, he rolled on his side, resting his hand on her forearm gently. While brushing his thumb across the long scar that she'd earned in the ring he spoke quietly, "Pounded on me, stomped on my cut foot. I was…" He huffed an irritated breath out his nose as he struggled talking about it. Valentine rolled to her side despite her screaming ribs, to cup his neck with her bruised and cut palm.

"I was curled up and thought he wasn' gonna stop this time. Thought he was gonna kill me. But he ended up usin' his leather belt. Hit me, I don't know how many times and split me wide open. Never screamed so loud before, prob'ly haven't since and then just… Darkness. Woke up that night. He had thrown me in bed at some point. My back was stuck to the blankets, all scabbed up and foot was already infected feelin'."

Valentine swallowed thickly and brushed her thumb along his rough jaw. "Anybody help you?"

"Nah.. I cleaned up. Used some moonshine t'clean the wounds. Hurt like a mother." He chuckled again, the man trying to blow off the horror of the situation. "Guess he just trained me t'live in this goddamn world so it weren't all bad."

Rolling her eyes she grimaced as a sharp pain jolted through her side, her broken ribs screaming. Daryl leaned up to help her get situated again, his hands fluffing her pillow.

"A'right?" He rasped, his body leaning over her's slightly. Valentine felt her heart speeding up and at any other time it would've been the visceral attraction she felt for the man but in that moment, she felt scared. It nearly killed her.

Flinching as he got closer, Valentine clenched her jaw angrily. Seeing Daryl's hurt expression before he rolled away had her furious. She hated the men that did the things they did to her but more than anything, she hated herself for being so fucking weak. She hated that she wasn't in control of her own damn body and mind.

"M'sorry." Valentine apologized, clenching her hands into tight fists.

"It's a'right." He rasped, his voice sounding hoarser than before. Valentine glanced over to see him brush a hand over his cheek before turning to look at the ceiling again.

'Fuck,' she thought angrily, chewing her cheek until she tasted blood.

"Hey." His voice interrupted her self harming, "Stop. It's a'right. I understand."

"No." She growled, twisting her blanket in her hand, "it's not ok. I'm not ok and it's not and fuck… It's not gonna be."

"Hey, hey, hey. Stop." He spoke in a calmly voice, "Stop Val. A'right. It'll take time a'right? It'll be ok."

Swallowing down a sob she looked over with teary eyes and choked out, "I don't want to be weak."

"Ya ain't weak. Furthest fuckin' thing from weak darlin'. Jesus Christ there ain't no one on earth stronger than you." Daryl exclaimed, his eyebrows raised and eyes serious.

"Shuddup." The injured woman grumbled, shifting her sore arm onto a pillow.

"It's the truth." He grunted, "Shit woman, ya make me look like some kinda girly man."

Snorting she mock glared and muttered, "Smart ass."

"Yes'm. Don't mean it ain't true." He replied with a grin, his hand sliding to the middle of the bed, palm up as an offering. Valentine slid her hand across the dark sheets, her tender palm resting inside Daryl large warm one.

"Thank you for telling me." She murmured, looking over at the man, chewing his lip anxiously. "I… I just need some time."

"A'right. Just, whatever and whenever you need me, Darlin'."

"Take a nap with me please?" She suggested, her eyes meeting his tired gaze. His lip curled on one side and he dipped his chin, "a'right. But only 'cause ya asked so nice."


	42. Chapter 42

Daryl watched from the side as Valentine hobbled down the stairs to join everyone for dinner. It had been about a week since she had come home and it was the first time she was leaving the second floor. Everyone had become pretty worried about her state of mind with the long absence. Even when she was deathly ill at the prison she would be out roaming around, the woman was never someone to stay cooped up. This new Valentine was practically a recluse.

Daryl reached out as her left knee buckled, his large hand cupped her elbow as she got her footing. Her cheeks were burning red under the yellowing bruises, she hated feeling weak and the whole situation had been uncomfortable for her. Daryl sympathized and felt as if they were cut from the same cloth. The last thing he would ever want is to need help walking in front of witnesses.

"A'right?"

"Yeah." She grunted, her eyes flitting over everyone in the living room. He watched as a few mouths dropped open, people who hadn't seen her closely or visited since her arrival home. The swelling was down on her face, her left eye opening almost all the way now, but she was still a remarkable rainbow of colors. The cuts and scraps were scabbed over and the stitches she had, were removed the day before. The massive bruising on her sides and her broken ribs were her main complaint; dull aching and sharp pains caused her grief no matter what position she was in.

"Want the couch or a chair?" he asked quietly as they shuffled into the room.

"Chair." She replied, her voice tight and pained, her back stiff.

Carl stood up and pulled out a dining room chair for her. Valentine smiled and lowered herself slowly into the seat. He watched as she grimaced to get a comfortable position, finally settling with a slow controlled breath.

"Good?" Daryl rasped, his eyes avoiding everyone's stares. It was driving him insane and he couldn't imagine what it was doing to Valentine.

Nodding once she watched as Carol started serving the pasta she made with basil and tomatoes. Carl scooted a plate in front of Valentine as Daryl pulled the chair out next to her, sitting heavily on the wood seat. He grunted a 'thanks' when Carol handed him a plate and began eating before the dish hit the table.

A chuckle had his head wiping towards Valentine, who was biting her smirking lip. Narrowing his eyes he felt his own lip twitching, "Got somethin' ya wanna say darlin'?"

"No. Nothing at all, just don't eat the plate." She muttered, while smirking at her pasta.

"Pfft." He huffed an annoyed breath but was secretly ecstatic that she was joking around. Daryl hoped it was a sign of things getting better. Valentine ate slowly, her appetite was curbed by all the pain medicine she was on. He had noticed she was looking thinner and paler. Daryl decided he needed to make sure she was eating more than she had been and made note to find food that would help her gain weight.

He glanced over at Beth who was sitting near Rick and Judith, the young girls eyes were following Valentine's hands as the raised the fork of food to her mouth. The scabbed knuckles and raw palms showing off how hard she fought off her captors. Her forearms were lined with fingerprint shaped bruises, signs of being restrained. Daryl could barely look at her injuries without raging and he could tell the others were only just figuring out the extent of what she went through.

"Hey Val?" Beth's voice caught the woman attention, her eyes rising from the tabletop to the girl's nervous face. Valentine didn't speak only raising an eyebrow, her cheek ticking in pain as the movement pulled on a cut across her brow.

"When you're feeling better could we train?"

Daryl watched her fist tighten around the fork and her jaw clench. He wasn't sure what was upsetting her but he could tell the woman was struggling to hold in something. Instead of speaking she nodded slightly and then forced another bite of food down. It was then Daryl realized she wasn't speaking much anymore either. Not in front of everyone anyways. In their bedroom they spoke and she had been talking to Michonne, Carl and Rick but it seemed as if she might be regressing to the Valentine from Sanctuary. He glanced at Rick who wore a small frown at her silence, his fingers tapping the tabletop anxiously.

"Thanks." Beth replied, her blue eyes flicking from the mute woman to Daryl. He shrugged lazily and then rasped, "That'll be good. Help ya get your strength back."

Valentine cut her eyes to his and she growled, "I ain't weak."

"That's not.."

"I ain't fucking weak!" She shouted standing up quickly causing the chair to fall to the floor with a loud clatter, her face pained at the sudden movement. Daryl put a hand up trying to calm her down but it did the opposite. Huffing out and angry breath she limped out of the dining room and onto the back porch. The door slammed shut, rattling the windows and knocking a picture off the wall. His eyes jumped to Michonne's who was already on her feet.

"Got it." She assured, her hand squeezing Beth's shoulder as she left. The teen looked guilty for causing Valentine to get upset.

"She's still adjusting." Rick drawled, his eyes meeting Beth's before landing on Daryl. "She'll be ok."

Chewing his lip, Daryl felt his neck burn as he realized everyone was looking at him or the door she had exited. He hated being the center of attention and he didn't want it for Valentine either. She deserved to heal in peace without everybody breathing down her neck.

* * *

Valentine sat on the porch step, her arm wrapped around her torso in hopes the sharp nagging pain from her ribs would subside. The quick movements inside had caused her injury to flare up remarkably. The woman could barely breath without a stabbing pain making her grimace. The back door opened making her freeze, her back tensing as she waited for who ever followed her to approach. Michonne dropped onto the step next to her and sat quietly. Glancing at the woman next to her Valentine muttered, "Don't start."

"I'm not starting anything."

"Yeah well don't even think about it."

Michonne chuckled and murmured, "Wouldn't dream of it. I'm sure you already know it wasn't what Daryl meant and that you're lashing out because you feel out of control."

"Shuddup." She muttered, her eyes focusing on the giant metal wall in front of her. Valentine couldn't help but feel as if everyone were thinking of her as a broken, weak woman. She couldn't stand the stares and the look of pity in their eyes. After everything she went through the last thing she needed was pity.

"Everyone knows you aren't weak. No one else would've survived what you have."

Shaking her head Valentine whispered, "I'm not invincible."

"No you aren't but you're pretty damn close." Michonne quipped, bumping her shoulder with Valentine's, "Look everyone's just trying to help in whatever way they can. Don't be so hard on us. We're trying our best."

Chewing her lip she asked, "Can't everyone just leave me alone? I don't… I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to relive it and I sure as hell don't want everybody's pitiful stares. I want to heal and move on and never think about that goddamn place again."

Michonne scratched her chin and asked, "Do you really think burying it is gonna work? You've tried it before."

Clenching her teeth she ground out, "it's going to because I'm not reliving it."

"Val-"

"No." She snapped, her eyes burning holes into Michonne's, "Chone, this isn't like Negan. This is  _worse_  than him." She let the words settle of the woman, her eyes narrowing and jaw setting. Valentine swallowed the shard of glass shaped lump in her throat and choked out, "No one deserves to hear that shit, to picture it and if I say it out loud… I may never stop."

Michonne turned to face her, a leg folded between them. She reached out and gripped Valentine's clenched fist. "Val. It's not about deserving anything. I'm your family. Daryl, Rick, they're your family. You can tell us anything and everything."

"I won't be able to look at you guys if you know what those  _animals_  did to me." She growled, tearing her hand away and pacing away. Holding her center with tightly wrapped arms, she limped back and forth.

"Val." Michonne pleaded, jumping up to block her path. Valentine stopped in front of her, gripping her sides with curled fingers.

"Please." The pained woman gasped her eyes wide and desperate, "Just. Don't make me. I can't… Please."

Michonne pulled her into a hug, Valentine standing stiffly for a long moment before wrapping her arms around her friend. Tucking her face against her shoulder she took a slow shuddered breath and whispered, "I'm sorry I've been a bitch."

"Don't worry about it." Michonne muttered, backing up a step and joked, "besides when aren't you?"

Narrowing her eyes Valentine laughed dryly and shook her head, "Shuddup and just help me up stairs. I feel like shit."

"And who's fault is that huh?" Michonne asked while helping her into the house.

* * *

Valentine's face was pressed into the concrete, the rough surface grinding against her raw cheekbone. A large hand gripped the crown of her head, fingers curled tightly into her hair while pinning her firmly to the ground. Her skull felt as if were going to split open from the pressure above, as the men were unrelenting and abusive.

Every invasive thrust grated her battered skin across the loose cement and bloodied floor. Valentine clenched her jaw and let her blurry eyes run freely and silently. The deep baritone was barking questions at her, interrogating her for information but she chewed her cheek and tongue until she spit out mouthfuls of blood. She spoke no words, made no confessions. She would keep her family safe by any means necessary.

Violently pillaged for hours, days, years. She couldn't be sure because every second was torture, every heartbeat filled with despair.

She could taste and smell them, a revolting mix of death and unwashed bodies. Sweat and blood and piss. Valentine retched as the seconds stretched into hours, choking on sick as the endless assailants ignored her and their humanity. She was no longer a living breathing human being, the bound and pinned woman was an object, a receptacle.

With gasping breathes she shook her torso, struggled with the pressing hands and digging fingers. Laughter and barked orders echoed in the low ceiling room. It was dark and shadowed, light bouncing off hunched figures and towering frames. She snarled and bit and scratched, never lying still if possible but there were too many. 'Never ending.' She sobbed inwardly as fire scorched through her insides, a new taut position and grasping set of hands.

"Tell us where your camp is." A voice shouted above the grunts and her growled protests.

Sucking in sharp breaths she felt hands tightening on her throat and she kicked out, her hands straining at her attackers. Nothing worked, nothing helped. Everything hurt and soon she stopped struggling, her legs going limp and hands releasing their biting grip.

Blinking she stared up at the man above her, his deep-set eyes drilling into hers through his shaggy hair. Felix was a blurry mass above her and suddenly she was gasping for air.

Valentine sat up straight in bed, her hands clutching her neck while she panted heavily. Her eyes jumped around the room as she sucked in jagged gasps and swallowed back sobs. Falling from the bed she crab walked backwards into the corner her trembling curled up tightly. Cupping her mouth she held in the cries of terror wanting to crawl their way out of her throat, her fingers clutching cheeks painfully.

Daryl's side of the bed was empty, daylight streaming though their window telling her it was mid morning. It took forever for Valentine to breath regularly and her hands to stop trembling. She unfolded her crouched form to lean against the large dresser nearby. Walking on wobbly legs she headed into the bathroom to wash the sweat that had slicked her skin while nightmares raged through her. She couldn't stand the loss of control and ached for the days when she had nothing to fear while resting.

Stripping off the tank top and underwear she wore, Valentine turned the showerhead on and waited for the water to warm up. Looking at the mirror above the sink she saw her yellowing bruises and newly formed scars. She wasn't the same woman from a couple years ago. The curly haired blonde married to an Army ranger, mother to an amazing, intelligent kid. She was a shell of that woman when she met Daryl and now, after everything that happened in that basement, she was even less. Valentine wasn't even a shell anymore, she was more like the rubble left after a raging inferno. Burnt scaffolding and piles of ash.

The bruise circling her neck had faded to a sickly gray and lay above the scars from the Governor. The marks up and down her arms from being restrained were splotches of yellow and purple, fingerprints and crescent nail bites fading with time. The trauma to her ribs was still the worst part of her injuries, the broken ribs still aching and sharp with pain. Valentine could still make out the tread print of one of the men's shoes stretched along her flank in deep eggplant and crimson. Tracing it with her fingers, Valentine flinched as she caught a tender zone near her breast. Leaning against the bathroom counter she stared at her injured face and vacant eyes, chewing her lip in thought.

She couldn't keep living as she was. Packing it away wasn't working but speaking to Daryl or anyone else in her family seemed out of the question. Knowing Daryl would internalize what she went through, blame himself for not preventing it, Valentine couldn't tell him the extent of her torture. No one, not even the doctor, knew just how many times nor how many men had taken advantage of her while chained. Telling them wouldn't help her or them. Not in her eyes anyways.

She would have to find a way to heal herself though because living the way she was, wasn't working and if she kept stuffing it down, Valentine may just disappear completely.

Sucking in a deep cleansing breath, ignoring the stabbing pain from her rib cage, Valentine stepped into the shower. She cleaned herself methodically and robotically. The steps followed in the same order as every other time. Scrubbing and rinsing, scrubbing and rinsing. Once soap free she stood under the showerhead, the pinpricks of hot water thrumming across her deeply scarred back. She could feel the water rivulets following the scarred trenches of her back, rolling across her wings as she stretched her arms.

"Angel." She heard so clearly that her whole frame jolted, her eyes jumping around the room looking for the tall shadow belonging to the deep voice. Finding the room empty she rest her head against the cool tile, taking a deep breath.

"Losing your fucking mind Val." She spoke under her breath, water dripping from her nose as she stared at her feet. "Gotta get your shit together."

"Yeah Love. Get your shit together." Negan spoke again causing her to step back, into the wall.

Looking up she found him standing casually next to the shower curtain, his broad leather clad shoulder resting against the wall as he peered into the shower stall. Jet black eyes and blinding white smile framed with salt and pepper stubble.

"What?" Valentine asked stepping forward to find out just how crazy she was. Negan's lips curled into a lascivious smirk as his gaze rolled down her like hot water. She blushed and felt embarrassed as his eyes met hers again, his pupils blown and lips parted.

"Still fucking beautiful." He drawled before uncrossing his arms, one hand reaching to tug playfully on a blonde curl hanging in her eyes. "If you hadn't killed me I could do all kinds of fucking nice things to you right now."

"I don't want you to touch me. I don't... I don't want anyone to touch me."

Negan rolled his eyes and looked down at her as she stood not a foot away. She wanted to reach out and touch him though. It was crazy, these hallucinations. She had to be crazy because he wasn't standing there, he couldn't be but yet... there he was.

"I'm not sure either." He replied, rolling a shoulder lazily, his eyes glimmering with amusement, "Maybe you've really gone off the goddamn deep end. All I know is you can think about me in the shower any-fucking-time you want."

"Shuddup." She snapped but with a tired sigh. "I'm fucking crazy. I know it. You fucking know it."

"This is true." He agreed with a deep chuckle, "but you always were a fucking nutjob, Love. But you know what else you were?"

"What?"

"A strong fucking bitch that wouldn't let a bunch of pussy ass rapist cowards make her hide like some weak willed woman." Negan sneered, pointing at her aggressively, "man the fuckity fuck up and show everybody what a huge set you have. Bigger than that redneck fuck you think you love."

"I do love him."

"Oh yeah? Well fucking show it. Stop hiding in the goddamn shower and get to fucking work or did you forget about the thousands of undead fucks about to stomp on everyone you love,  _Love_."

A loud knock had Valentine jumping from her spot in the shower, her head pressed into the tile, looking around she saw the white walls and empty shower stall except for her own soaked body.

"Val?" A voice called from the hallway. Turning the shower off, Valentine wrapped herself in a towel and asked, "What?"

"There's a meeting in the church, do you want to come?" Maggie's voice now clearer without the roaring water.

"Be right there." She replied, as she pulled on fresh clothing. She wore long sleeves to cover the still healing bruising and new jeans that felt too loose. Once in her room she wrapped her weapons belt around her narrow hips, the belt now three holes tighter.

"Shit." She muttered as she felt her hipbones poking out, all angular and sharp. She was losing weight and muscle tone. Daryl had been right, she needed to train with Beth to get her strength back and she needed to eat more. Looking in the floor length mirror she took the time to braid her hair back off her face, the messy mop needing a trim desperately was under control at least. Staring at herself for a long moment she spoke evenly and calmly, "You will get through this. No one and nothing with destroy you. Survive Val. Survive."

Yanking on her boots, tying them up and around her calves, Valentine headed out of the house. She had a limp from her injured side but otherwise she kept herself upright and at attention. As she headed down the street she saw a few other residents watching her go by, their eyes trailing after her. Valentine swallowed thickly as anxiety flared inside her chest like stoked coals but she trudged on. As she reached the church she found Maggie waiting for her at the doorway, a small smile spreading as she watched her stride up to her.

"Glad you came." The woman drawled, tilting her head towards the entryway. "Everybody's inside already. We're talking about the herd."

Nodding she climbed the steps, grimacing at the pain but keeping her pace. The doors opened and she headed inside with Maggie. She saw Daryl stand up instantly as he watched her walk straight towards him. Something close to relief shown in his eyes as she moved to his side.

"You're up." He murmured, his eyes dipping to catch hers. Nodding once she cleared her throat. "Had to happen sometime."

"M'glad ya are." He rasped, his hand reaching out for her patiently. She looked at his open palm and slowly wove her fingers into his, curling them tightly with a sigh. Peering up at him she whispered, "I'm sorry."

Pulling her into his side she felt his lips brush her temple as he drawled, "Ain't nothin' to be sorry for."

Turning their attention back to the front Valentine listened as Rick detailed every step they'd take for the mission, his voice calming everyone's worries in his natural policeman tone. Many voiced their concerns but most agreed with his plan. Deanna helped bridge the divide between the nonbelievers and soon the meeting broke up. In a few days they'd have a dry run and once prepared they would unleash a herd of monumental proportions.

* * *

Daryl watched as Valentine stood with Rick, her arms crossed and back straight. From an outsider's perspective she seemed normal, not necessarily healthy because her bruised pale skin and deeply shadowed eyes couldn't be overlooked but she appeared strong. However the man that loved her and knew her through and through could see it was all veneer. Figuring she was just making herself seem okay, Daryl promised himself that he would find someway, somehow to get her to open up. He knew there was no way she could stuff down what had happened to her.

"I wasn't a doctor before all this." Denise spoke next to Daryl, jolting him out of his tangled mind. He narrowed his eyes and rasped, "Sure know your shit for not being a doc."

"I mean I was a doctor but not a medical doctor."

"Maybe I'm slow but whatcha gettin' at exactly?" He snapped, his head pounding from listening to so many people argue.

"I-I just... I was a psychologist. Before everything. I mean I went to medical school but I ended up in the mental health field. It fit me better." She ended her explanation by flicking her eyes towards Valentine.

"She ain't crazy." He hissed, grabbing Denise's wrist tightly, pulling her around a corner, "ya bes' not be sayin' this shit to everbody."

"Daryl." She gasped, pulling at his grip, "that's not what I meant. Let go. Please."

Yanking his hand away as if burned he felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. It was too close to a reaction his father or brother would've had, putting their hands on a woman without pause.

"M'sorry." He blurted out, shaking his head before peering at her through his shaggy hair, "it's been…"

"I know. It's ok." The blonde woman assured quietly, her hand rubbing the red marks on her forearm. "Look I just wanted to offer counseling. I've worked with rape victims before."

Daryl glared at her, the idea of Valentine being classified as a victim making his gut churn. It wasn't as if it weren't true but the words had yet to be spoken out loud. Everyone knew but not one person had voiced the word rape. The phrase rattled around his head and he felt his skin crawl. The room was suddenly twenty degrees hotter and ten times too small. Shaking his head as if it would clear the dizziness he suddenly felt, Daryl brushed past the woman and burst out of the back of the church. He strode away from the building, his eyes on the gate ahead.

Air.

He needed air and silence and then he could maybe broach the idea of Valentine being a rape victim. Clenching his fist he got to the gate and barked, "Open it."

"Where-." Rosita started but opted to slide the gate open as his brilliant eyes drilled into her with the heat of a thousand suns.

"Be safe." She called out as his feet propelled him into the woods beyond without a glance back.

* * *

Valentine watched Daryl stride out, his eyes not meeting hers or Rick's before the door slammed shut. Glancing at Rick she saw only confusion and a frown.

"Any idea?" He rasped, resting his hands on his hips. Shaking her head she muttered, "probably something to do with me if I were to guess."

Rick watched Denise exit the room Daryl had stalked out of, the woman looking out of sorts. "There a problem Denise?" Rick asked, sauntering towards her. Valentine watched the woman shift her weight uncomfortably, tucking her hair behind her ear. "No. I just put my foot in my mouth like usual." She replied with a dry laugh, her nervous eyes flicking to Valentine.

Narrowing her own eyes Valentine stared the doctor down until she muttered an excuse of a supposed patient. Rick laughed quietly, rubbing his graying beard while looking at her with his head cocked to the side. Rolling her eyes she snapped, "What?"

"You and Daryl." Rick replied, with a amused smirk, "Both ya got the worst kind of stink eye. Swear y'all could kill somebody with your glares."

"Shuddup." She grunted, following Rick out of the church and towards their homes. Valentine felt eyes trailing her, the stares being nothing new but her self consciousness was a strange change.

"I want you to take care of Carl and Judy while we do the dry run." Rick drawled as they strolled down the street. Valentine pursed her lips and peered at him out of the corner of her eye. She wanted to know if it was because he didn't trust her anymore, that she was too damaged to be helpful.

"You're still healing." He explained as she stayed silent, the only sound of his worn boots scuffing the pavement. "I trust you to keep them safe while we're gone."

"Just stop." She sighed, glaring at him while climbing the stairs of the porch.

"Val." He spoke hoarsely, his hand catching her wrist. Valentine stiffened, her forearm slipping from his grasp roughly. He frowned, his eyes dropping to the rows of bruises still fading on her wrists and forearms.

"M'sorry. I wasn't thinkin'." He murmured, dipping his head to catch her blurry eyes.

"No. I'm sorry." She choked, cupping her mouth as a sob crept its way out. Rick stepped forward, his voice hoarse, "Can I hold ya?"

Valentine trembled, her own arms wrapping her torso despite the broken ribs. Nodding once she froze as he slowly wrapped his arms around her. One hand lay across her back and the other cupped her head. She shuddered in his arms as adrenaline flooded her.

"Shhh. Easy." He murmured against her temple, "Just me. You're safe a'right?"

"Y-yeah." She stuttered, clenching her teeth to keep them from chattering. Rick's hand ran up and down her spine and he spoke low and hushed for only her to hear.

"Ya don't gotta worry about anythin' but gettin' better. I want you to take it easy and let your body rest. Broken ribs ain't fun."

Valentine nodded against his chest, inhaling deeply even with the sharp pain from doing so. She was comforted by not only Rick's solid presence but his warmth and scent. He smelled of forest and gun oil from his recently cleaned revolver. There was a underlying scent of sandalwood and spice. She felt strangely at home in that very moment.

"There's a get together tonight at Deanna's. You should come."

"I don't think that's a very smart idea."

Rick shrugged, his jacket brushing against her cheek. "Gonna be food and beer."

"I can't drink while on pain killers and I have food inside already."

"Just think about it."

"Sure whatever." She mumbled while pulling away, her body feeling chilled without his arms. Rick smiled down at her and quipped, "don't sound too excited."

"Don't be too big of an asshat." She snarked while crossing her arms.

His lips twisted into a smirk and his eyes sparkled. "Where the fun in that?"

Laughing quietly, Valentine rubbed her face of tears and muttered, "ok jackass. I'll ask Daryl about it later."

"Good. You know it's easier if you just don't argue with me." He commented opening the door for her to enter. Snorting she spoke in a mocking tone, " _where's the fun in that?"_

* * *

Daryl trudged through thick woods and small clumps of undead. He killed without pause and eventually found himself at a clearing partially fenced with split rails. In the center stood a dark horse, it's ebony hair shining in the sunlight. Daryl found himself mesmerized and finally began to calm down. He took a slow deep breath while watching the horse graze, its tail whipping out to swat flies.

A snap of a twig had Daryl's bow up while barking, "Come out! Now!" The clearly human steps approached slowly, a shadow flicking through the thick brush.

Aaron stepped through the shrubs, his rifle lowered in one hand and his other palm raised. "You can tell the difference between walkers and humans by sound?"

"Ain't hard if ya pay attention." He drawled, his bow lowered but still wary. "What're you doin' out 'er? Followin' me?" Daryl muttered, his voice low to prevent scaring off the horse.

"Looking for rabbits." The man responded, his eyes focused on the horse beyond Daryl's broad shoulder. "His name is Buttons."

Daryl cocked an eyebrow questioning the name. Aaron laughed quietly and explained, "we've seen him before. The kids named him."

Nodding Daryl chewed his lip and watched as Aaron produced a rope. "We've been trying to catch him, I thought we were too late. Wanted to bring him inside to be safe, but we can never catch him."

"Have you done this before?" Aaron asked as Daryl took the rope from him and tied it into a slip lead.

"My group did. But they weren't out there that long." He commented, his hands unwinding the length of rope. "The longer they're out there, the more they become what they really are."

Aaron watched as Daryl stepped forward slowly, his frame lowered. "I ain't gonna hurt ya. A'right?" he rasped, his voice low and calm. Slowly he raised his hand, brushing down the dark horses back. It was thin but not terribly so, its hair silky smooth despite the lack of human care. "That's it. Good boy. Yeah, you used to be somebody's, huh?" he drawled, while sliding the rope over its neck, securing it while stroking its flank, "Now you're just yours."

Daryl stood quieting the horse while it continued to eat. He let his breathing calm and his heart slow. He had been simmering after leaving the walls and was finally feeling more in control of himself. Glancing at Aaron he saw the man watching with rapt attention.

"Can't believe you did it." He commented, his feet approaching slowly. The horse nickered, its feet kicking up dirt. Daryl held a hand up halting the other man's progression.

"Back up or we'll lose 'im." He rasped, his hands stroking the long body, "It's a'right. That's it. Ain't nobody hurtin ya."

Swallowing thickly he realized just the night before he was saying something very similar to a sweat covered Valentine, her dark eyes as wide and wild as the beast before him.

Aaron murmured, "Didn't know you were a horse whisperer Dixon."

Snorting he glanced over at him with narrowed eyes, "Shuddup. Just good with the skittish."

"How is she doing?" Aaron asked, the subject change not lost on Daryl. Rolling his eyes he continued to brush a hand down Buttons side, the action calming both of them equally. Shrugging his chewed his lip while trying to focus his reply. "She ain't sleepin', well she is but it ain't restful. She won't talk about it, not that I blame 'er."

Huffing out a breath as his throat thickened and eyes burned. "Denise was sayin'… she said she was a head doctor. Said she worked with-." he paused and choked out the phrase, "rape victims."

Aaron's clenched his jaw and nodded, his eyes seeming glassier. "Has Valentine said that it happened?"

"She hasn't said it out loud but Denise told me stuff. Plus she had to take pills to stop from gettin' knocked up by those fuckers." He ended growling and clenching his fist tightly. The horse pulled away from his angry tone until he forced himself to calm down. "Sorry big guy. Ain't mad at ya."

Aaron shifted to lean against a tree and watched Daryl comfort the animal while it continued to graze. "I think her talking to Denise would be beneficial. If Denise has the experience then she knows how to help Val process it."

"Yeah." Daryl grunted, raking his hair out of his eyes. "Come on, boy. Le's go home." Pulling the horse slightly he got the large creature to follow along. Aaron headed the group so the horse wouldn't try to run.

Aaron spoke again while they walked, "Deanna's havin' a party tonight, kind of a 'pre-herd round up' get together. You and Val should come."

"Don't think that's a good idea. She ain't good around a large group of people on a good day, let alone now." He replied before surprising himself and revealing, "This ain't the first time she's been hurt and last time it took months for her to even out."

Aaron nodded along and confessed, "I was told a little about where you guys met. How the men that took her were from that place."

Daryl rolled his shoulder, his back stiff with tension. The horse neighed as if sensing his emotional distress. "She was tortured for a year. Guy killed her husband and kid in front of her, beat 'em to death… Place was bad and sounds like it only got worse after we got out. It was hard t'get past all that shit 'n now… after this.."

"She'll be ok." Aaron assured, his honest eyes meeting Daryl's momentarily until Daryl flicked his gaze away. "Val is obviously a survivor and the main way people survive, hell anything survives, this new world is adapting."

Chewing his lip, Daryl carded his fingers through the horse mane and walked him up the path towards Alexandria's gates. He thought about what Aaron had said and wondered if he was right. Could Valentine adapt and get passed everything that she had been through?

"I'll ask her 'bout tonight." Daryl muttered, his eyes flitting to Aaron and then the gate, which slowly rolled open. The horse bucked slightly at the sound but stayed near Daryl's side. Rosita looked shocked at the sight but moved the gate further to allow the horse room to fit through.

"Good." Aaron replied, "Trying never hurts."

 


	43. Chapter 43

"How the fuck did you talk me into this exactly?" Valentine muttered while digging her heels into the grass as Daryl pulled her along. Stopping suddenly he turned around and rasped, "You're the one who asked. Ya said somethin' bout Rick sayin' we should."

"Well yeah but after you said Aaron said we had to go."

"No I didn'." He drawled with narrowed eyes and a small scowl.

"Well, why the fuck are we even going?" Valentine exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air. Daryl snorted and stepped towards her, "I reckon I got no idear."

Laughing quietly at his thick southern drawl, Valentine smirked up at him as a nice calm lulled her to lean against his chest. She felt his hands laying gently on her waist and his lips resting against her forehead.

"Wanna go home and do anything but this?" Valentine asked while peering up at him, her hands curled into his freshly washed vest.

"Yeah, darlin'. Sounds nice." He murmured, his thumbs stroking her waistline under the hem of cotton, rough calluses on bruised skin. Valentine felt her teeth set on edge and her spine stiffen at the sensation. She could see him react to her flinch by recoiling slightly. Biting her lip so harshly she tasted blood she glared at the ground with watery eyes.

She could feel her lungs burning for air but couldn't bear to even try to breath in. There was no way for her to control the tidal wave of despair just breaking the surface if she allowed herself oxygen. The fact that just the subtle touch had caused such an extreme reaction made her frightened she'd never be the same.

"Breath Val." Daryl's voice soothed, his low rough tone causing her to suck in a jagged gasp. Her ribs screamed at the rough inhale but her lungs thanked her. Gulping in air she felt herself teetering on the edge of a total meltdown but Daryl's voice brought her back.

"Slow deep breaths darlin'. In til it hurts."

Following his directions she felt her head empty of vertigo and her heart rate calm. Leaning into him, she felt his hand stroke up and down her back.

"C'mon. Let's go home, get some food and relax."

Nodding she looked up with red eyes and whispered, "Thank you."

A rough sound in the back of his throat and a rolled shoulder was his response, a man of few words. Valentine smiled with watery eyes and kissed his cheek chastely. "I love you."

Daryl stopped walking and brushed tears from her cheek, slowly placing his lips on the damp skin. "Love you Valentine."

A shiver ran through her, the man rarely called her by her full name. It made her chest clench in the most delicious way possible. 'I can do this.' She thought with a greater feeling of control. ' _We_  can do this.'

* * *

"Hey. Daryl, Valentine." Aaron's voice called out as they walked past his home. The man climbed down the stairs and met them on the sidewalk.

"Thought you'd be there." Daryl grunted looking back at Deanna's home. Aaron smirked and offered, "I've been to enough of them, besides Eric's cooking spaghetti."

Daryl's eyes narrowed he bitched, "Why ya tellin' me I gotta go. That Val's got to go then?"

"I told you to try. You did. Come on in for dinner." He invited, glancing over at Valentine, who stood nearby but was absolving herself of the conversation, "Both of you."

Rolling her eyes, she met Daryl's gaze who was just as irritated by everyone's subtle manipulations. He shrugged and finally drawled, "I could eat."

Valentine huffed out a laugh and smirked crookedly, "You can always eat, you're a bottomless pit."

Feeling his ears burn as both Aaron and Valentine looked at him with something close to amusement. "Shuddup." He grunted, moving towards the home beside Valentine.

Following Aaron up the stairs Daryl muttered quietly to her, "Stay as long as ya wanna, a'right?"

Nodding she slipped her hand into his, her body seeking him out for comfort caused his chest to crack open. He was still her touchstone and it was the first time since she'd been home that Daryl felt hopeful of her healing.

The home was warm but not stuffy, all the windows open to take advantage of the mild breeze. Eric was struggling with a bottle of wine when they entered the dining room, his smile wide and welcoming. "Yay! I was hoping for more company."

"What am I chopped liver?" Aaron joked while taking the bottle from his boyfriend, pulling the cork out for him easily.

"Of course not but I can only hear the story about you running into Meryl Streep at Macy's so many damn times dear."

Valentine barked out a laugh before slapping her hand over her mouth. Daryl's lips twitched as he watched her cheeks burn as the other men chuckled, Aaron playfully smacking Eric with a kitchen towel. The room was surprisingly easy to be in even with the two men being practical strangers to Daryl. It had the knot that had taken up residence in his chest to unfurl slightly. He enjoyed seeing Valentine's worried face smooth out and her shoulders to drop from their normal stiff posture.

"Buttons is settling into his makeshift pen. The supply team is planning a trip to a nearby tack store." Aaron informed before taking a cracker with some kind of spread on top. He held the tray out to Valentine who hesitated but took one after an encouraging smile from Aaron. Daryl wasn't sure how the man had the ability to relate to everyone but he could make even the most socially inept at home.

"Good." Daryl rasped sitting at the dining table with the others as Eric brought out a large bowl of pasta and red sauce. "Lemme know when."

"I can't believe you caught him." Eric stated with awe as he served each person a heaping of food. "We thought we were too late since he hadn't shown up for a couple weeks."

Daryl rolled his shoulders lazily and shoved a forkful of food into his mouth rather than acknowledge the compliment. He slurped up a long strand of noodles, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand hastily. Feeling eyes on him he found Eric covering his mouth to hide a laugh and Aaron smirking. Valentine's was chewing slowly, her eyebrows raised as if saying 'see I told you so, you're a pig'.

"Shuddup." He grunted at her before twirling his fork into the pasta, the woman laughed under her breath, her eyes lively and gleaming. Rolling his in reply he turned back to scarfing his food down too quickly to be polite.

They were finishing up when Eric commented, "When you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs. Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker. And we're all really tryin' to get her to shut up about it." He continued to ramble but Daryl couldn't help but zone out and begin to wonder what the hell he meant by 'when you're out there'.

"What?" He rasped, his eyes flicking to Valentine who sat up a little straighter. Aaron was giving Eric an exasperated look and Eric muttered, "I thought it was done. You didn't ask him already?"

"Ask him what?" Valentine growled, her narrowed eyes full of suspicion.

Aaron put up a pacifying hand, "How about I just show you, Daryl."

Feeling apprehensive, Daryl stood and followed Aaron into the garage. As he passed Valentine he bent down to kiss her temple. To the men watching it looked as if he were just being affectionate but they didn't hear his whispered assurances, "got nothin' to worry 'bout darlin'. Be right back."

Dipping her chin she eyed Aaron who was holding the door open for Daryl to follow him. Brushing his hand across her shoulder he exited the room to see what Aaron had to show him.

* * *

Valentine watched the door close and swallowed thickly. She wasn't sure what was going on and what Aaron had up his sleeve but she knew it was going to change things. Eric set down a plate of cookies and smiled softly, "He's just showing off the man cave."

Nodding slightly she let her eyes scan the room, her gaze falling on a photograph sitting on the mantle. Aaron stood wrapping his arms around Eric, large smiles gracing their faces. It was so normal that it was painful to look at for Valentine. Daryl and her didn't have that, hell they hadn't even been together for very long. They didn't have an anniversary or first date. How could she expect them to survive if they had no real foundation of a relationship? She felt her heart speed up and her palms get sweaty, her mood falling into a downward spiral.

"That's when we went to Yellowstone." Eric explained, while pointing out the other photographs they had somehow held onto when the apocalypse had happened.

"Can I use you restroom?" She croaked, clearing her throat roughly while standing up with a loud screech of the wood chair.

"Yeah, just to your right."

Walking down the short hallway she entered the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Her face was still bruised and unhealthy looking, her eyes deeply shadowed. Taking a slow breath, her throat caught as she began to hear Aaron and Daryl speaking inside the garage through the air vent.

"I told Deanna not to give you a job because I think I have one for you." Aarons voice echoed through the thin wall. "I'd like you to be Alexandria's other recruiter. I don't want Eric risking his life anymore. Not after that trap."

Valentine's eyes narrowed as she fought a surge of anger, of course he'd rather put Daryl in harms way. Daryl spoke her exact thoughts though, making her smirk. "Yeah. Ya want me risking mine, right?" He bristled, she could picture his blazing eyes and rolled shoulders.

"Yeah, because you know what you're doing. You're good out there. You saved us out there." There was a few seconds of silence before he added, "But the main reason why I want you to help me recruit is because you know the difference between a good person and a bad person. You can tell just by looking at them."

Valentine chewed her lip, her arms wrapping her torso tightly. A creeping fear began to crawl up her spine and her skin prickled. She wondered if maybe he would leave, it would be the perfect excuse for him to pull away from her. There was no way in her eyes that Daryl was going to want to wait for her to be normal again, if that was even possible. Why would he when he could find someone who hadn't been broken by a bunch of animals? Someone that could stand to be touched and kissed.

Eventually Daryl's voice rasped an answer, "Got nothing else to do."

Clenching her teeth she glared at the metal grate, the man's answer feeling like a dagger in her chest. 'More like no one else.' she sneered inwardly, as self doubt gnawed at her guts.

Sliding out of the bathroom she strode down the hallway and out the front door before Eric could even call out. It wasn't that she was surprised by Daryl's answer but it still stung that he was actually going to leave her in Alexandria and trust someone else with his life. He didn't need her or her baggage.

'What do you expect? Moron.' She hissed at herself as she stomped through the darkened street towards home. 'Why would he stick around. Can't even let him touch you. Can't even kiss him. You big fucking baby.'

Finding herself in their room she paced while chewing on her bottom lip. Valentine couldn't stand herself, couldn't stand how weak and pathetic she was now. The worst part though was the fact that her weakness was probably the reason Daryl chose to leave and recruit. The man wanted to get away from her and all the shit that seemed to follow her. He didn't need her or her baggage.

"What a prick, right Love?" Negan sneered from his spot on the bed, his long legs outstretched while his arms were folded behind his head. "Told you he was a fucking useless redneck."

"Fuck you." she growled, raking the hair off her face. "Fuck off already. You're dead."

"Not that fucking dead apparently." He snarked, his eyes scanning her tension filled body. "Wanna see if my dick still works?"

"GO AWAY!" she screamed, fisting her hair roughly as her chest rose and fell rapidly. Pacing a few more times her head shot up when the door opened, Daryl was looking at her with a furrowed brow and his hand resting on the hilt of his large knife.

"Who ya talkin' too?" he rasped, his eyes jumping around the room to find nothing out of place. Valentine pursed her lips and shook her head sharply. "No one."

"I heard ya talkin'."

"So? I'm fucking crazy okay! Happy?" she snarled, glaring at him, "It doesn't matter anyways."

"Nah I ain't happy and ya ain't crazy." Daryl drawled and shifted closer while locking the door. "Why don't it matter?"

"Because Daryl, you're fucking leaving. I heard okay. I get it. I'm fucked. I beyond fucked and broken and shit." She ranted, throwing her hands up while backing away from him as he stepped towards her. "Go ahead and leave with Aaron and find someone who can actually stand to be touched or even fucking looked at. Hell someone you can stand to look at. Someone not covered in scars."

"STOP!" he bellowed, stomping forward and pressing his forehead into hers aggressively while gripping her wrist. "Stop it right fucking now."

"Fuck you." She barked, yanking her arm away roughly.

"No. Fuck you for thinkin' I'd just cut and fuckin' run from ya. Ya don't fuckin' trust me? Huh?" he snarled, jabbing her with his finger, "You're full of shit. I know, ya know I love ya. I know ya fuckin' know you can trust me. Stop being so goddamn dramatic."

Grinding her teeth she pulled away and stood by the window her arms crossed painfully tight. "I'm not being dramatic."

"Yeah, ya are. If ya kept eavesdropping ya woulda heard me say when ya got better I'd want ya with me." He rasped, stepping forward into her personal space. Daryl slid his hands up her biceps and shoulders to cup the sides of her neck. She felt his thumb brush across her cheeks and jaw line as he peered down at her through his shaggy hair. "Ain't leavin' anybody else t'look after ya. Not after this. I ain't lettin' ya work supplies team if I ain't there. When you're better I want ya by my side out there. Always."

Clenching her jaw she tried to stop the emotions from choking her up but couldn't stop the tears from spilling over.

"Shhh, darlin'." Daryl murmured, his thumbs wiping away the tears only to need to repeat the action as they kept falling. "Don't cry. Can't stand it when ya cry Val."

Closing her eyes Valentine leaned into his chest, her shoulders shaking as she wept. Daryl's arms encircled her, his large hand smoothing up and down her back and his other cupped her head to his chest. For the second time in a matter of hours Valentine was breaking down.

"Shh, sweetheart. Deep breathes, a'right."

Sucking in a jagged breath Valentine felt her body calm down, her arms wound around his waist, pushing her face completely flush with his taller frame. She tucked her forehead against his neck and pressed her lips to the exposed skin. Daryl's heart thrummed under cheek, the rhythm fast but soothing.

"That's it." He voice rasped, his fingers carding through her hair. "Ain't leavin' ya sweetheart. Ain't findin' someone else. Y'all I want Val."

* * *

Daryl lay on his back while,Valentine curled into his side, her head rising and falling with his chest. Stroking the hair from her temple, he watched her bruised eyelids flutter as she dreamed. Watching for any distress, Daryl let his mind wander to Aaron's job offer. He had agreed with the stipulation that once Valentine was fully healed, she'd join them. Glancing down at the bruised beauty, Daryl couldn't stand the idea that she thought he was going to leave her. As if he could even entertain the thought of not being with her. She was rooted deep inside him, there was no escaping the draw he had to the woman. Nothing could break what he felt for Valentine. Not a bunch of animals or the woman's own attempts at pulling away. He knew the pattern, pull up stakes when things got too close, too hard.

Nuzzling his face into her hair, Daryl inhaled slow and deep. He wished he could make everything all better, wished it never happened but life didn't work that way. The only thing he could do was hold on to her and not let go.

* * *

Daryl sat astride his recently patchworked motorcycle as Rick instructed the group in front of them. Behind them was the large quarry filled with what seemed to be the entire populace of every nearby town, all dead and all hungry. The smell was oppressive, the thick odor of rot couldn't be overlooked or ignored. It clung to his clothes and skin, slicking the back of his throat with sour bile. The echo of groans and snarls felt deafening, a constant thrum of the dead's moans.

Glancing around the group, he watched as everyone listened intently to Rick, pacing with his hands resting on his waist. The man could lead, he'd proven it by keeping his family alive through the thickest of the thick of trouble. The cruelest the world could throw at them, Rick shouldered the weight. Daryl wouldn't follow any other person, besides Valentine, blindly with knowledge he'd not be lead astray.

Sighing, he peered over at the dead and wished they could get the whole thing over with so he could return to Valentine. It seemed as if she kept backsliding, no matter what he said or did she doubted herself and him. It was as if they were starting all over again. He hated it and hoped once they dealt with the herd, they'd be able to focus on her healing mentally not just physically.

The sound of metal creaking and earth cracking away had everyone's eyes turning to the semi truck blocking the masses from escaping. The 18-wheeler began to slid, the degrading cliff crumbling under the weight of not only the vehicle but the dead piling up next to it. The group watched in horror as the barrier rolled from its spot into the quarry, releasing the horde from their makeshift pen. Daryl felt his gut twist as his wish became frighteningly true.

"It's now or never folks. This ain't a dry run anymore." Rick hollered, jogging over to his vehicle, "y'all know what to do. What your jobs are. Be safe and stick to the plan."

Gripping Daryl's shoulder tightly he drawled, "Keep each other safe."

Grunting he chewed his lip nervously and rasped, "ya let 'er know I'll be home soon."

* * *

Valentine stood in the kitchen, Judith sitting on her hip while Carl told her about Enid. Smirking she sat a plate of food down for him and offered, "ask her to come for dinner."

"Nah." He muttered, fidgeting with his fork, "she kinda hates me."

"Why do you think that?" She asked, leaning against the counter after putting Judith in her highchair.

"Because she told me to 'get fucked' when I told her to stop climbing the wall out." He confessed, his cheeks flushing, "you can't tell dad. She just… She's like us. She hates being fenced in."

Humming, Valentine rubbed her bottom lip feeling the roughly healed split lip. "Maybe when I'm better I can take her out. Then she won't do it alone." She offered before she could think it over.

Carl's eyes lit up and he asked, "really? I mean… I don't know if she'll do it but I think she'd like you."

"Whys that?" Valentine asked with an amused smirk.

"Because I think… I think she's seen stuff… Done stuff that nobody here can understand. But you could." He explained with nervous pauses, his eyes darting away when he added, "might help you too."

Clenching her teeth tightly she looked away from the teen that was as close to a son as she had. Carl wanted to help her and she was thankful but she was also angry that he was in a position to have to worry about her well-being.

"Carl-" she began only to be cut off by the sound of a loud crash and then the blaring of a car horn. Her wide eyes connected with Carl's and she ordered, "grab the rifle, take Judy to the attic."

"Val-"

A blood curdling scream came from outside, the desperation in the tone telling them all hell was breaking loose.

"Now!" She barked, while buckling her weapons belt on quickly, "you keep her safe until I come back. Barricade the door behind you."

The teen picked the baby up while collecting the rifle his dad kept in the hall closet. Valentine opened the attic staircase door and shoved him through only to stop him briefly, "I love you both. Be safe."

Slamming the door before he could answer, Valentine jogged down the stairs, her blade pulled out as she skidded to a stop at the front window. Beyond the glass she could see the road and large grassy area across it. A flash of black ran by, a large blood stained ax held high as the intruder swung it around, nailing the woman who lived down the street in the stomach. Valentine's blood ran cold, Alexandria was under attack and almost all of their able bodied residents were gone.

'Lambs for the slaughter.' She thought with nausea threatening to empty her stomach on the hardwood floors. Placing a hand on the doorknob Valentine took a deep breath and prepared herself to fight for her family's lives and home.

* * *

Daryl's bike was going so slowly he could walk his feet along the hot concrete. Beside him Sasha and Abraham drove the beat up sedan, the sound of them chatting barely heard over the groans and snarls behind them. Trailing after the trio was a horde of a thousand head. They were streaming down the road after them like a migrating scourge upon the earth. The scuff of their shoes and crunch of their hungry mouths had Daryl's skin crawling. Glancing in his side mirror he saw the endless masses that shambled just a hundred feet behind him. A breeze kicked up and the wall of rot rode the wind. Grimacing he glanced at Abraham who hung out his window retching.

"Mother of Dick, that is some rank shit." He grunted wiping his chin of sick.

"Pussy," Daryl rasped with a grin, earning him a matching set of middle fingers.

Sasha started to speak but stopped as a loud horn began echoing from the forest behind them.

"What's that?" She asked, her brow furrowed as she looked towards Alexandria.

"Sounds like it's coming from home." Daryl rasped, clicking his radio and asking, "Rick, ya hearin' this? Over."

"Yeah. I'm not sure but it's pulling the herd. Over." He responded, the walkie crackling with static before he ordered all listening, "everybody use the flares to direct 'em. We gotta keep 'em on track. Over."

Turning around slight, Daryl watched as hundreds of walkers near the end of the line began flooding into the woods towards Alexandria. Towards his family.

"I gotta go back." Daryl told Abraham and Sasha.

"No we gotta keep going. We aren't far enough."

Shaking his head, he revolted at the idea of not going back to help. The horn was still blaring and they began to hear rapid gunfire. They were being overrun and the gunfire was going to draw more.

Rick's voice came over the radio, the man pleading with them to continue to lead the dead away. That he was in position and they needed to keep going in order to keep as many walkers from heading towards home.

The horn cut off but the sound of gunfire still rang out beyond the woods. Daryl ground his teeth as he fought to keep on task knowing Valentine was in town. She was supposed to be safe there while they dealt with the horde. He had to go back, she wasn't healthy enough to fight.

Glancing at them he drawled, "Next intersection we're gonna spin around and go back."

"The plan is to go 15 more." Sasha shouted over the wall of dead moaning behind them.

"Yeah, I'm gonna change that." He responded, speeding up a little to look inside the car at her, "Five's gonna have to work."

"The magic number's 20." Abraham told him, "That's the mission. That's making sure they're off munching on infirm raccoons the rest of their undead lives instead of any of us."

Sasha added when Daryl didn't respond, "You want to go, we can't stop you. But without you, they could stop us."

Revving his motorcycle, Daryl fought with himself to stay or go. The sound of gunfire was still making its way to them. Clenching his teeth he glanced at them one last time.

"Daryl!" Sasha shouted as she watched him shift his bike.

Abraham warned, "Don't do it, man!"

Daryl couldn't stop though. He couldn't keep driving away from Valentine knowing they were being overrun by the dead.

"I gotta." He hollered before speeding off as they reached the intersection. Pushing the bike as fast as he could, Daryl flew over the long stretch of country roads. He began working through a plan to get into town if the walls were covered in dead. As he sped across a long stretch of road he began to doubt himself. He knew they were right, the herd needed to be led away or their problems at home would only get worse. Daryl couldn't let himself be responsible for the fall of town because he jumped the gun. He couldn't let his family down like that.

Growling angrily, Daryl took a sharp turn on a dirt road that led him back to Sasha and Abraham. The entire time his chest ached and his stomach clenched knowing he was riding away from Valentine. He couldn't help but feel guilty for abandoning the one good thing he had in his life. He was leaving her to fight a wall of undead without him.

Rick's voice came over the radio as Daryl pulled up beside Sasha and Abraham again. Jutting his chin in greeting he saw both smile at his return.

"Shuddup." He barked before listening to Rick speak.

"There's gunfire coming from back home. We gotta sit with it and hope they can handle it. I think they can. They have to. We keep going forward for them. Can't turn back 'cause we're afraid cuz we ain't afraid. This is for them. Going back now before it's done, that'd be for us. The herd is almost here and soon we can go home."

* * *

They had broken in, scaled walls and slid through opened gates. Valentine wasn't at hundred percent yet but she was going to protect the town. Sliding out the back of the house with orders for Carl to barricade the home and protect Judith with deadly force, Valentine headed for the road. Pulling out one blade she skimmed along the house, her eyes catching dark figures running towards the unsuspecting Alexandrians. 'This is gonna be a slaughterhouse.' She thought while clenching her teeth and running full force towards a man with a large scythe. Their blades hit, the metal ringing off as she spun around his lunging arms. Her second blade came out to cross his ribs with a brutal swipe, his skin flayed open and raw.

The man grunted while swinging his blade towards her face. Failing to realize her second machete was rising up, the man walked straight into her sharp weapon. She tugged the blade up, disemboweling him with one rough movement. Yanking it out she nailed his temple with the other blade before jogging down the street towards the screams. Ducking around a corner she came face to face with a hooded figure, the face obstructed with a bandana. Her blade was pressing into their neck before the voice called out, "it's Carol."

"Carol?" Valentine muttered, yanking the rag down to see her in disguise. "Good thinkin'."

"There's two inside."

"Lead the way."

The women slid through the back of the house to find an intruder stabbing an Alexandrian in the chest for what looked like the hundredth time. The poor woman's chest was a cavern and her blue eyes empty. Valentine moved quick her blade punching through the feral looking man's chest until it burst through the other side. Pulling it out she slammed it into his skull while listening to Carol struggle with the second intruder. They were fighting in the living room, the dirtied woman swinging a hammer out at Carol's long curved knife. Valentine circled them, her blades out and ready, she could taste blood on her lips and felt sweat in her eyes. She was panting and her ribs ached from the still healing breaks but she wasn't stopping until all the wall jumpers were dead. Moving swiftly she slid over the dining room table, ending up behind the wild woman snarling out threats.

Grabbing onto the woman's dreadlocked hair Valentine shoved her machete through her neck before tearing her throat open. Finishing with her blade jammed into her temple she motioned for Carol to exit the house. The woman froze, her eyes wide and mouth open. Valentine could see she was struggling with the mass murder of intruders but didn't have time to baby her feelings.

"Carol. Help me clear the town and then we can soul search. Our people are dying."

Nodding she followed Valentine out into the street to see two men circling a woman and her kid. Running full force with both her blades out she whistled high pitched to get their attention. Both turned and looked confused that she was approaching them rather than running away. The second of distraction allowed the woman and her son to run. Valentine watched as Carol intercepted them, getting them to a house safe while Valentine was circled by two men, one with a hatchet and one with a long length of chain. He swung the metal chain around, at the end a large padlock. He used it to try and trip her up but her feet skimmed over the ground as it whipped past. Her blade rang against the other man's blade, her ribs screaming at the pressure but ignored for the time being. Moving quickly she circled and swung her blades out and around, stabbing and slicing at her enemies. The man with a blade tripped over a curb allowing her to shove her bloodied weapon deep into his chest before jumping over his fallen body to face the second man. The chain whipped out, the metal lock missing her face by a centimeter. Dropping one blade she reached out and grabbed the end of the chain before he could retract it, yanking on it hard enough to trip him. Valentine brought her machete down hard onto his neck as he fell forward. His eyes were surprised at her feral gaze met his.

"I win." She hissed into his dying face before yanking her blade out to bury it in his head. Looking around she saw Rosita and Aaron running towards her with guns drawn, their clothes were bloody and faces frightened. She joined them and she could tell they'd seen the fight or at least part of it because Aaron was looking at her in a new light.

"You guys go west, I'll go east. Meet me at the gate." With those final words Valentine was off, running through the neighborhood hunting for more intruders. She was covered in blood, her hands seeming dipped in it, her blades sticking to her palms uncomfortably. As she fled the area she found a woman slamming a large stone onto a dirty man's face. Valentine approached and realized it was the teenage girl Carl had been hanging out with.

"Come." Valentine ordered, motioning for Enid to follow her. "Stay close, eyes open."

They jogged along the side of a garage, Valentine's blade up and ready. She glanced at the girl who now held a large knife she stole off the dead man's body.

"Go for the neck and twist." She spoke calmly and only started them on the next section of road until the teen nodded in agreement.

As they crossed the street, two men approached, one holding an axe and the other a machete. Valentine spread her reach wide, her body partially blocking the girls.

"Mmm. Look at these two little sheepies." One man taunted, his feet bringing him closer to the teen. "Wanna play with me little girl?"

"Fuck you." Valentine sneered, her arms tensing as she waited for their attack. "I'm going to gut you two motherfuckers."

They chuckled and began circling the women. Valentine blocked the axe with her machete, but struggled against his weight. Enid was dodging the man's grasp, her blade slashing out at his dirty claws. A sudden pop had Enid's attacker on the ground and Valentine's distracted. Shoving her blade up into his gut, Valentine twisted and yanked everything inside him, outside. He collapsed onto her boots making her grimace. Looking back she saw Rosita and Aaron. The man took Enid's wrist and pulled her to Carl's home while Rosita joined Valentine's patrol.

"How manys left?"

"No idea. Too many if any are alive." She muttered, wiping her hands on her pants before ticking her head, "let's check the next street."

The pair moved swiftly down the tiny road, both women keeping their backs to solid walls while their eyes scanned every nook and cranny for intruders. As they reaching the pond and gazebo a women covered in blood jumped off a porch screaming like a banshee. She carried a cleaver coated in blood. Valentine could see the kitchen she had exited was sprayed crimson. Moving to kill her, Valentine swung one blade high while stabbing low with her other. When the dirty woman fell victim to her well placed weapons the sound of Rosita being attacked caught Valentine's attention. Skipping her eyes away from her target she witnessed a man with a hammer land a brutal hit to Rosita's shoulder. Having lost focus, Valentine snarled as the dying woman got one last swipe in, her cleaver slicing across Valentine back.

Pulling away, the angry blonde shoved her machete into the feral woman's skull before coming to Rosita's aid. Her attacker was trying to hit her again but ended up with Valentine's gruesome blade shoved through his back and out his chest. She grabbed his hair and yanked him away from Rosita as he swung the hammer out one last time. Snarling she slammed her blade into his face when he reached the ground.

"You good?" Valentine panted, her face tense as the cut on her back screamed.

Nodding the woman held her shoulder with a grimace, Rosita asked, "you?"

"Peachy. Let's go."

Running along the sidewalk they found a home with it's doors wide open, a dead body laying in the entryway. Valentine jogged up the steps when she heard a scuffle inside. Rosita followed her, they both paused and listened as a sharp gasp from the kitchen hooked their attention. Sliding down the long hallway, Valentine ticked her chin to the doorway leading into the kitchen. Counting down silently they turned the corner finding a man crouched over Aiden, his long blade being held at bay by the leaders son's shaky arms. They were struggling, the blade almost burying it's way into his chest.

Valentine swung out to slice her machete into the attackers head but he rolled away. Blades clanged as she fought with him in the large connected living room. The large man hit her blade just right causing it to rip out of her hand. Moving quickly she kicked her leg out hitting him in his ribs while yanking her extra hunting knife out, slashing at his face and neck. Rosita helped Aiden out of the way before joining Valentine, her gun raised as she tried to get a shot while the two fought. Moving quickly Valentine ducked right before a loud pop rang out, the dirty looking man falling to the ground with a bullet hole in his chest. Valentine slammed her blade into his temple and then instructed, "Let's go. Towards the armory."

As they exited the house they ran into Tara and Noah both running towards the infirmary while carrying a man with a large wound to his stomach. Rosita groaned as her injured shoulder became too much to handle.

"Go with them." Valentine ordered, gesturing to Aiden, "You go to the armory, don't let them get inside."

Nodding he took off running, a large rifle in his hands. Shortly after finding herself alone she was surrounded again by two men, both carrying large melee weapons. Spinning around she slammed her blade into the incoming weapon, metal clanged loudly. Grunting Valentine dodged a vicious swipe from the second man as she kicked her leg out, landing a brutal kick to the man's knee. The loud pop and his excruciating scream told her she had dislocated his joint.

Jumping over his falling frame she jammed her blade down, the edge grinding against his ribs as it plunged into his lungs. He gurgled and choked while collapsing in a heap.

Yanking it out quickly she had but a moment to bring it up to stop the other man's machete from splitting her skull open. Snarling she swung her other arm around, the hilt of her second weapon cracking against the rabid animal's temple. It stunned him enough for Valentine to retreat away from the impressive machete he brandished.

"Fucker." She sneered, bringing her knee up to crush his groin. He toppled to the ground, his hands tangled in her hair and shirt. Falling on top of him she scrambled for control, her blade falling to the side. She clutched at his face, grabbing handfuls of his beard and hair while slamming her fist into his face. After many brutal hits and a bloody broken nose he fell unconscious causing Valentine to pant in relief. Stumbling to her feet she plunged her blade into the man's temple, ending his life and the possibility of him standing back up. Turning she could see Aaron and Beth running towards her.

Holding her ribs she shuffled towards them, her side screaming in pain and hand throbbing from bludgeoning the dead man.

"Val!" Beth shouted, her hand gripping a handgun, her face speckled with blood. The teen got to her side and exclaimed, "You're bleeding!"

Grunting in reply, she scanned the roads, her hand trembling while holding her blade. "We clear?"

"Yeah. We've done a full sweep. The front gate is secure." Aaron and detailed, his worried eyes taking in her gore covered body. "The wall they hit is compromised but holding right now."

Nodding she ticked her chin towards it, "the tower down?"

"Just about, if it falls it's taking the wall with it." He warned, waving his hand to Deanna and Spencer who were moving swiftly away from the front entrance.

"A few got away." Spencer hollered, "but the gates closed. The dead are coming though. A lot of 'em."

Nodding Valentine suggested, "We need to make sure anyone killed is put down. We don't need walkers inside."

Deanna's face was steely, her normally controlled eyes, wild and watery. "She's right. Get a team, go door to door. We'll bury them when the others get back."

"Speaking of, why aren't they back yet?" Maggie asked as she strode up, her shirt splattered with blood. Shrugging, Valentine hissed as the cut on her back screamed for attention.

"Val. You need to see Denise." Beth murmured, her eyes scanning the blood soaking her shirt.

"Don't have time. We need to-." She started but Deanna interrupted, "Go get bandaged up. We can handle this part."

Narrowing her eyes she saw the way the group was looking at her blood covered frame. Giving her a single nod, Valentine left to get medical care. Now that the adrenaline was ebbing the pain began to take over all her senses. Her face scrunched up as she slowly climbed the steps to the medical clinic.

She had been lucky to last as long as she had fighting the intruders. If they had attacked a week ago Valentine would've been slaughtered just like all the other unprepared residents of Alexandria. Daryl would have come home to a body and she never would've been able to apologize for her actions as of late. She never would've been able to prove to the man she loved more than anything that she could get over her assault.

The only good thing about having been under attack was it reminded Valentine that their time was limited and either of them could be taken at any moment. She wasn't going to waste her time being scared and torn up about what had already happened. Valentine wouldn't let the past dictate her any longer. When Daryl returned she would be better, stronger and show him that they were never going to fall apart. They would stand up to the heartaches of the new world and face it together. They could do anything, conquer anyone because together nothing would destroy what they had.

 


	44. Chapter 44

Inside the medical center Rosita was sitting with an ice pack pressed to her bruised shoulder and two men were bandaged heavily around their arms and torsos. Valentine watched as Denise worked on an unconscious woman with a large stomach wound.

"Take a seat Val." The doctor instructed without looking away from sewing the injury, the flayed flesh red and raw looking. Tara joined Denise handing over gauze pad after gauze pad, the blonde staunching the still bleeding wound. Valentine grimaced at the sight and chose to stare out the window at the bodies strewn in the street. She could see the men she cut down only moments ago, innards and limbs sliced and torn from their joints. Swallowing thickly her eyes fell to the prone woman as she felt a darkness seep into her chest.

'I'm no different than those men.' She thought to herself. The grievously injured woman was a mirror image of the brutalized men lying murdered on the front lawn. The only difference being, Valentine was supposed to be one of the good guys. She wasn't too sure if she was on the right side, part of her still felt like an invader.

Denise's approaching shape jolted Valentine out of her downward spiraling mood. Before she could start treating her though, William joined them from the back room, his gloved hands coated wrist deep in crimson. His face was stricken, the corners of his mouth downturned. It was an expression Valentine knew intimately having seen it while he stitched her skin back together countless times in Sanctuary. He had seen something inhumane and gruesome.

"What do we have?" William asked from Denise's side, motioning her to return to her other patient as he stripped of his dirtied gloves. Valentine gave him a thankful look, she trusted the woman but Doc was almost family. They'd known each other for a year, most of which was filled with gruesome injuries and tragic losses.

"Got a few cuts. My ribs hurt." Valentine replied, hesitating when the William motioned for her to pull off her shirt. Turning away from the others in the large room she straddled a chair backwards. Valentine stripped off her shirt, the bra she worn was splattered in blood from the long slice stretching across her spine. It felt like a strange maw opening up as she twisted, skin and muscle splayed open. The feeling was so familiar it fit her like a glove.

She heard a few sharp intakes of air but kept her eyes firmly away, part of her had that instant fear of being truly seen for what she was but Valentine also felt strength. She looked like a battle scarred warrior and deep down, the woman knew she should be proud of it. William grunted and she heard him mutter under his breath, "rotting in hell."

"I'm low on topical anesthetic." He spoke louder a moment later, his gloved hands wiping down the injured woman's back. Valentine rolled her shoulder lazily and muttered, "I can't feel shit back there anyways, Doc. My nerves are all damaged."

She felt him probe the injury testing for sensitivity, Valentine only groaning when he reached the deepest gouge.

"Alright. Just if it gets to be too much-."

"I'll let ya know." She interrupted, leaning against the back of a chair as Doc worked. Breathing through the pain she let her body relax and uncoil. She was being sewn up but after everything she had just been through, it was the calmest she had felt in hours. Her heart slowed down and the frenetic hum vibrating through her veins was soothed. The ringing in her ears and clenched jaw faded as she rested her cheek on her forearms, her eyes dropping with exhaustion.

Valentine could tell the doctor was almost done as the stabbing pain of the needle and the odd feeling of the thread pulling through, progressed from one side of her back to the other.

The door opened and two new sets of boots entered, a throat clearing awkwardly. Glancing over her shoulder she found Rick and Aaron taking in the sight of her heavily scared back. Rick having seen it a couple times only seemed angered by it but Aaron having been ignorant of the gruesome scarring had a look of confusion.

"All done." William informed, his palm laying flat after he tied off the black threads. He began to bandage her as Rick approached with three large steps.

"Ya a'right?" Rick asked, stepping forward to crouch in front of her. She looked over his sweat-soaked shirt and bloodied hands, the man had faced his own monsters it seemed. Nodding once she rasped, "You?"

Sighing heavily, Rick informed her that the herd had escaped causing the dry run to be the real deal. Not only had the intruders attacked them but also half the herd, which broke off when the horn began to call them like sirens in the sea, now surrounded them.

"Daryl?" She gritted out with her chest compressing painfully at the thought that they hadn't even had a proper goodbye that morning. The man had kissed her head and slipped out before she woken fully.

"Last time I spoke to him, Sasha, Abraham and him were still leadin' the herd. They were close to the twenty mile mark. He said he'd see you soon." He explained, sitting down to allow Denise to bandage his bleeding palm. Swallowing thickly she tried to squash the fear of never seeing Daryl again. The doctor picked up her right hand and began rolling each joint looking for breaks, her knuckles a deep purple and swelling from fighting hand to hand. Valentine frowned as he hit a sensitive location. "Easy Doc." She grunted, pulling her hand away, "it's not broken."

"We need to buckle down, keep the walls up and find a way to steer the rest of the herd away."

Valentine nodded, pulling on a new shirt Tara handed her. She noticed the woman was avoiding her eyes and couldn't help but sneer, "Ok y'all have seen my dirty secret. Get the fuck over it." She glared at the people hanging around the room until they turned their eyes away. William squeezed her shoulder affectionately and muttered, "I'll grab you some pain meds."

After she swallowed a few white tablets, Rick rasped, "Let's go inspect the wall. See if we can support it until everyone's back."

Nodding she followed him onto the porch where he turned around and gripped her biceps. "Ya really ok?" He rasped, his head dipping to catch her lowered eyes. Nodding she murmured, "I had to leave Carl and Jude. I'm sorry."

"You did your job. He was safe where you put him and ya took care of the threat. Ya saved a lot of lives today, Val." Rick assured her, pulling her into a hug. Valentine leaned into him, winding her arms around his narrow frame. The man was like home to her, just like Daryl. Rick tucked his face against her neck and murmured, "everythin's gonna be a'right."

Nodding against his shoulder she whispered, "I hope so."

"You're gonna be a'right. Both of ya." He drawled, pulling back to cup her cheek. She rolled her eyes at him and his lip quirked up, "you both are too damn stubborn to let any of this shit break ya."

Snorting, she kissed Rick's scruffy cheek and joked, "Hello pot, meet kettle."

Smirking he ticked he chin to the wall, "let's try to hold down the fort 'til Dixon gets back."

* * *

 

They hit the twenty mile mark and began to turn back home while out running the herd. They wove through a small town to lose the undead and keep them from following them home. Daryl's hands were white knuckled as he gripped the handles of his motorcycle, his body tilting with the sharp curve in the road. Sasha was following closely as they flew by woods and looted structures.

As they drove past a group of industrial buildings they began to hit clusters of shambling corpses. The end of the herd had split off towards the mysterious horn and other random distractions, the undead were now breaking off into small roving hordes. Swerving around a trio of rotters, Daryl hollered into the beat up sedan's window. "We gotta circle around, we can't bring all these bastards back with us."

Glancing in his side mirrors he saw the group that they'd collected shuffling after the motorcycles loud engine.

"We won't make it by sundown!" Sasha shouted back, her worried eyes flicking to the thickening herd in the forest line.

"Ain't nothin' we can do but find some cover." Daryl responded, ticking his chin to the up coming turn, "follow me."

Speeding along, past the walker inundated streets they crossed a small overpass and entered a tiny town lined with mom and pop shops. Pulling into an alleyway Daryl parked his bike near a fire escape and watched as Sasha backed into the dead end, the vehicle ready to make a quick getaway.

Daryl climbed over the garbage piled up the fire escape and shouldered the door open. Inside Abraham and Daryl cleared the structure before the trio settled down inside one of the offices. Abraham was messing around with the radio looking for a signal when they caught a voice calling out through crackling static.

"Th-…An-y..out.. Rick."

"Good t' hear your voice Ace." Abraham drawled.

"You too. Who's all there with ya."

"I got me some ebony and ivory, well Dixon prolly more of a summer." The redhead joked, earning him a swift smack up side his head while Daryl yanked the radio out of his hands.

"Wha's goin' on there man." He barked, his patience snapping as the big idiot fucked around. "The fuck was that horn?"

"We had a… breach." Rick rasped, the sound of the radio clicking a couple times as he hesitated. "Outsiders. A big group. Uh. We lost some folks. But we're ok. Our people are ok. Val did good, Carol, Aaron and Rosita held the place together. Both Doc's are workin hard s'well."

The radio clicked and they sat in silence, the words sinking in. The room was heavy and the tension thick, people had died, were dying and they were stranded a handful of miles away.

"Was it sanctuary?" Daryl asked, his hand flexing around the radio making the plastic creak. Ricks voice spoke quickly, "no. Val didn't recognize 'em at least."

"We got a good size herd here." Rick's voice crackled, the static blaring and the background sounds of shouting caused Daryl's chest to clench. "We're gonna need some diversions. Got any ideas?"

"Yeah. We'll figure it out." Daryl replied, he'd do just about anything to get back home to his family. Pausing for a long moment Daryl glanced at the others before rasping, "Val there?"

The radio clicked and blared static a moment before the sounds of hammering and shouts crackled. Holding his breath he heard another click and then, "you have a nice road trip slackers?"

Daryl smirked at Valentine's teasing words. "Hell yeah. Better than sittin' on my ass eatin' bonbons at home."

Her laughed rang after he let go of the radio transmission button. The sound made his chest ache pleasantly. Flicking his eyes to the pair nearby he turned slightly and spoke quieter. "Ya a'right darlin'?"

"Doin' okay Dare. We… We're doin' ok." She spoke cautiously, her tone setting off alarm bells in Daryl's head. They weren't telling them everything, she was omitting the worst news.

"Sure?"

"We'll survive." She replied before adding, "gotta go." The button being pushed down still he heard her mutter, "that's not a fucking option…. I'll see you soon…. Be safe."

"Val. What'-"

"Gotta go…. I love you Daryl." She spoke faster before the radio clicked off. Daryl glanced at the others with narrowed eyes and a frown. "They ain't tellin' us everything."

"Yeah, they know we can't do shit in the dark." Abraham drawled, stretching out on the too small couch. "Sun up we'll drive up and take the herd away."

* * *

 

It was near dark when a large crowd of walkers congested the alleyway. They could hear the hum of dozens of groaning dead and the scuff of their worn shoes. Peering out the window blocked with newspaper and cardboard Daryl's throat constricted.

Downstairs in the dead end alleyway stood Glenn and Nicholas on top of the dumpster. "Shit." He hissed, motioning the others to look outside.

"Son of a dick." Abraham cursed, his fists clenching as he pressed his face to the glass. "We gotta do somethin'."

There was a flurry of shouts from Glenn and then a gunshot. Daryl watched in horror as Nicholas pressed his handgun to his temple and pulled the trigger. His body fell into a shocked Glenn who had no way of stopping the inevitable.

"Oh My God." Sasha gasped as both men fell from the garbage bin into the horde below. They could see the walkers dive towards the fresh meat, the sounds of snarls barely drowned out by the desperate screams of their family member being torn apart.

Daryl's jaw clenched as he swallowed a sob, his eyes blurring as the screams continued until they cut off sharply.

"Motherfucking coward." Abraham snarled, punching the wall until plaster crumbled to the floor. "That shitheel killed him."

Daryl stalked away from the window and flexed his hands over and over until he couldn't contain the anger coursing through his veins. His skin was flushed and head pounding as a crushing grief took his breath away. Stomping towards a desk he swept his arms across the table top, shoving the useless technology off the old world onto the ground with a loud clatter. Kicking the computer monitor across the room he roared as the sounds outside increased.

"Daryl!" Sasha hissed, "Their gonna hear you. Stop it!"

Huffing out an angry breath from his nose, he panted heavily like a raging bull. His chest was heaving as he squeezed his eyes shut, his mind conjuring up images of Glenn being torn to shreds by claws and teeth.

"God-fucking-damnit." He grunted, chewing his lip until blood coated his tongue. The pain was better than the unbearable ache in his chest. Daryl had just lost yet another family member and he couldn't help but blame himself, he hesitated too long and cost his friend his life.

* * *

 

Valentine stared warily at the wall surrounding Alexandria the day after the attack. They had spent the evening bracing the wall with large beams nailed into place. The repair looked haphazard to Valentine as she stared dubiously at it. There wasn't anyway it would hold off the monsters beyond, the group looking to be at least a hundred head and increasing.

The tower was leaning to the side, the large semi truck that had crashed into it caused the already lousy structure to press into the wall. It wasn't going to be long and they all knew it.

Cringing at the creaking of the metal panels she looked over at Michonne, the woman having returned the evening before with Heath and an injured Noah. They hadn't seen Glenn or Nicholas since a large group of dead separated them. Michonne looked more than guilty watching as Maggie teared up while glaring at the bending walls of Alexandria. The memorial painted on the large panel was filled with the dripping paint of new names and Valentine couldn't help but glare also as Glenn was added. They were jumping the gun in her mind, the man was more than capable to survive outside.

"He isn't dead." She muttered to Maggie, her eyes flicking to hers before returning to the women putting the paint away. "They don't know shit about shit."

Swallowing thickly Maggie nodded, her eyes still overflowing. "No.. No they don't." She croaked before walking away, her arms wrapped tightly around her torso.

Rick was nearby speaking to Deanna about their next steps. She was half-heartedly listening, the woman knowing Rick would instruct her when needed and Valentine trusted his judgment with whatever they chose to do. More than anything Valentine was thinking about Daryl and his almost desperate rasping voice from the night before. She wanted him home and she wanted things to stop being so shitty. It was become more than frustrating.

"We need to corner off the area with whatever barricades we can. Vehicles and homes. It won't hold 'em off but it'll slow 'em down." Rick drawled motioning to the houses closest together, "We can place 'em in between, make 'em funnel."

"This crowd's going to bust straight through doors and windows Rick." Valentine informed almost calmly, "Seen 'em tear down buildings bigger than these."

"Yeah but we don't got many other choices." He responded, his head whipping towards the wall when a gut-dropping crack echoed over the field of solar panels.

The structure leaned to the side and Valentine held her breath, the crumbling siding trickled to the ground as the building collapsed forwards.

"God save us." Deanna gasped, from Rick's side, her hand gripping his forearm.

"Get inside. Run!" Rick hollered, pulling the older woman along while jogging with the others. Valentine looked over her shoulder as the dead flooded through the fallen panel. Alexandria was being inundated with the dead and there wasn't a goddamn thing they could do about it.

Deanna fell to her knees, a walker tackling the woman with desperate claws. Rick yanked it away while pulling the woman to her feet. "C'mon!" He barked, while jogging next Valentine, her machete hacking away at the dead.

Chaos ensued as the Alexandrians who had survived the attack were now running from walkers. Valentine watched as Aiden fought off two corpses, Noah trying to help despite his injured leg. Just as they fought off the two undead, three more stumbled towards them. Valentine headed over to help and watched in horror as Aiden shoved a large male walker towards Noah, the snarling monster biting into the teen's bare forearm. His screams pierced her chest as two more biters tore into his flesh, his neck pulled apart and face shorn from his skull.

Aiden fell as he ran, a dead woman tripping him up as he tried to flee. Valentine swung her blades around clearing a path through the dead her rage filled eyes landing on Deanna's youngest son. He called for help as the female walker latched onto his ankle with curled fingers. Instead of helping, Valentine spun on her heel, running away from the man as the undead flooded the area, swallowing him up in broken arms and gaping maws. When she looked up she saw Spencer watching the masses writhe on top of his younger brother, his raging glare falling to her as she launched herself up the stairs into the nearest home. She could see Rick and Carl inside the house next door, Michonne and a few others barricading the door.

Valentine pressed her shoulder into the door as arms reached through, claw like hands grabbing for her clothing. Growling she dug her heels into the floor while trying to hack off the intruding limbs. A few swift swings and the door slammed shut, a pile of bloodied hands laying nearby. Jumping away she shoved a large cabinet covered in books into the door, followed by a couch. Panting she looked out the window to see Rick staring across the tiny side yard at her, his hand pressed to the glass.

"Fuck." She hissed as she watched dozen of dead stumbling outside, all clawing at the siding and windows. There was no way out, they were trapped and surrounded. If the others didn't return with some kind of distraction Alexandria would be torn down to the studs, no one would make it out alive.

* * *

 

The morning after they watched Glenn fall into a horde, the trio made their way into the now empty alleyway. Daryl couldn't leave without at least trying to bring something back to Maggie. She deserved to have something to bury. Stabbing a few fallen and crippled undead, Daryl made his way towards the massive puddle of blood and gore.

"C'mon man. At nothin good over there." Abraham's gruff voice called out from the mouth of the alley. Grunting in response Daryl continued his path to the metal bin. The ground was littered with garbage and torn flesh making Daryl grimace while stepping over debris.

Toeing away a few loose bricks a scraping sound from under the garbage bin had Daryl freezing, his eyes narrowed and cautious. Glancing at Sasha, who was stabbing a leg less biter, the woman motioned for him to check it out.

Reaching the metal trash bin, Daryl knelt down to peer underneath. His jeans became soaked with blood as he looked past the trash and gore.

"Jesus." He breathed out, before yanking away body parts and garbage. His hands gripping the pale bloodied arm reaching out from under the metal box. Pulling on the hand, Daryl dragged Glenn out from his hiding spot.

"Oh my god!" Sasha exclaimed causing Abraham to coming running from his spot near the vehicles. Daryl's heart was clashing against his ribs as he got Glenn out from underneath the dumpster, his body covered in blood and walker gore.

"You lucky son of a bitch!" Abe exclaimed, helping Daryl get Glenn away from the puddle of guts.

"Are ya bit?" Daryl asked, his eyes trailing over the shell-shocked man for injuries. Glenn shrugged, his face drawn and breathing fast. "Don't know…. Nicholas… They-." He choked up, his eyes clenching shut as if they'd shut out the gruesome memories.

"They ate him… On top of me… Tore him up. I thought." His voice cracked, "thought I was dead."

Daryl took out his red rag and slowly cleaned off Glenn's face, his hands shaking as the shock of finding his friend burned through him. Wetting the cloth, Daryl scrubbed his arms down searching for scratches or bite marks. Once he found nothing other than scraped elbows and palms he helped Glenn to his feet. They gave him water and a protein bar since he had spent the whole evening under the garbage bin.

"What happened at home? We heard a horn." Glenn asked hoarsely as they approached the vehicles.

"Some group raided us. Rick said they were ok." Sasha explained helping him into the backseat as he became unsteady on his feet. Daryl could tell Glenn was suffering from shock, not that he blamed him. He couldn't imagine falling into a horde and witnessing a feeding frenzy directly on top of him. It was horrifying.

"Maggie?" Glenn croaked, his eyes wide and apprehensive.

"Yeah man. Rick said our family is all good." Daryl drawled while placing his bow on the front of his bike.

Climbing onto his ride Daryl rasped, "We gotta pull the leftover herd away, Rick said the end broke off towards home when the horn went off."

Nodding lazily Glenn asked, "got any ideas?"

"Saw a military truck on the overpass." Abraham offered. "If it's got gas might be able to drive up without them surroundin' us. Make some noise."

Daryl pursed his lips and then nodded, "a'right. Let's check it out and head back. Longer the herds there the more that's gonna come."

* * *

 

Valentine peered through the window as Rick held up a piece of paper.

'Use guts to get out.' It said, the man looking just as grim as she felt. The homes they were hiding in weren't keeping the dead out for long, their porches inundated with shuffling corpses, their doors bending with the weight.

Wrinkling her brow she watched as they struggled with a few walkers pushing their way into the home. Her chest clenching as Carl and Rick hacked away at the bodies before coating themselves in guts and blood.

"Shit." She muttered looking at the back door as three dead men clawed at the glass. Taking a few deep breaths, Valentine steeled herself to open the door and let them in. She needed at least one for their blood but there was no way she'd be able to pull off letting only one inside. Pushing a bookshelf into kitchen, she spilled all the contents onto the floor causing a small tripping hazard for the clumsy monsters. Wedging the piece of furniture between the kitchen island and the wall, Valentine created a funnel to prevent her from being overwhelmed with the dead. If it worked she would be able to kill all that came inside and use their guts to cover her scent.

With another calming breath Valentine yanked the door open, her blade stabbing through the first dead before the door smashed into the wall behind it. A few more walkers had joined the party, causing the woman to scramble backwards into the home. Slamming her machete into a frail looking but strong corpse, she shoved the falling body into the handful of walkers making it inside. Jumping over the pile of books and knick knacks Valentine climbed over the kitchen island, the height giving her the advantage. Hacking her machete into as many as she could while they grabbed at her legs, Valentine escaped the kitchen into a small office.

Yanking one dead man inside with her, she slammed the door, closing off the others from entering. She made quick work of killing the rotting dead man before hacking into his stomach and chest. Without much choice or pause, Valentine coated her skin and clothing with blood and gore. She painted her face while gagging, the smell causing her stomach to lurch onto the floor. After retching almost painfully Valentine decided it was time to check if her attempts at covering her smell worked.

Opening the door slowly she was met with two dead clawing at the wood paneling. They fell into the room, they noses up and milky eyes scanning the area for food. She froze, her hands gripping her weapons as they bypassed her without pause. Once satisfied that they wouldn't attack her, Valentine slammed her blades into their heads before exiting the home. The others were still inside so she began killing walkers as stealthily as she could. If she walked slowly and work cautiously, the woman could hopefully make a dent in the dead invading them.

Taking out her machete she shuffled behind a few corpses, their legs limping as they shambled. Moving swiftly, Valentine plunged her blade upwards into the base of one walker's skull before moving onto the next and another. With her hands coated with more walker blood, the woman spread it over her body for better coverage.

Wandering along the street she got a look at how overrun they truly were. The tiny residential roads were packed with the dead, their hisses and snarls giving Valentine a chill up her spine. She had never walked amongst the dead before and if she had a choice, she never would again. It was too unsettling, too out of her control.

Moving slowly down the road she saw Tara, Aaron and Beth watching from the medical center. Beth was visibly upset, the teen's red face covered in tears as she fought to get free of Tara's grasp. Valentine realized they thought she was a walker, the gore that coated her making her seem like just another wandering dead body. Raising a hand up in a pacifying manner, Beth visibly calmed down while Tara's mouth dropped open. They were obviously shocked at Valentine's movements between the dead. A few more faces joined them at the window, Denise and William stared as she wove her way through the crowded street.

Finding a small group of dead Valentine made quick work of dropping five before the others began to get suspicious. Moving behind a tree, Valentine leaned against it, her breathing calming as she scanned the dead for the others. Rick had been rounding everyone up when she exited the house.

Walking towards the home the others were barricaded in she watched as Rick, Carl and Michonne exited, followed by Spencer and two Alexandrians Valentine didn't recognize. They wore ponchos made from sheets, the plush fabrics now coated in oily looking gore. The group's faces were far from relaxed, cheeks slick with crusty blood and eyes wide with fear.

Valentine headed towards them, her body low and prepared for any nosy walkers. She could tell Judith was strapped to Carl's chest, her body hidden below the gruesome sheet. Clenching her teeth she zigzagged through the crowd towards Rick who carried a hatchet and Carl who gripped a knife. Michonne was in the rear while Spencer and the two women walked behind Carl.

Passing through a wall of dead, Valentine watched as the others started to gain the attention of the surrounding walkers. The women were becoming hysterical, one crying out as the dead bumped into her. When she shrieked in fear the biters pounced, their claws ripping her away from the group. As she was pulled into their mouths, her frantic hands clutched onto Carl's poncho, the fabric yanking him backwards. Valentine's heart lurched as time slowed down, her eyes absorbing the frightening sequence of events.

The teen tried to pull himself away, his feet digging into the ground as the injured woman tugged on him. The second woman tried to escape by running and was soon consumed in the background. Valentine's feet quickened as she witnessed Rick hacking at the hysterical woman almost killing his son. She grimaced as the limb clutching Carl's poncho was severed before Rick collected his kids from the horde. With her attention on the trio, she hadn't noticed Spencer's rifle raised until he was securing a headshot. The man had obviously seen her leave his brother to the dead and was aiming at making her pay for her abandonment.

Valentine's eyes widen as the rifle round exploded from his gun but then slammed shut as she expected the bullet to hit home. She heard a gut wrenching scream as warm liquid sprayed her face, causing her eyes to pop open, the sensation remarkably familiar.

Michonne's sword was shoved through Spencer's chest as she screamed with more rage than Valentine had ever heard. Within a heartbeat Valentine saw the source of Michonne's distress. Carl swayed on his feet, the right side of his face shredded from a bullet wound. The boy had intervened when he witnessed Spencer aiming for Valentine. Carl had saved Valentine's life just like her son had before him.

"Dad." He murmured, collapsing to his knees before he was caught by his father. Rick's face was stricken as Valentine quickly approached, her eyes blurry.

"Go!" Rick hissed his voice barely a whisper. "Go!"

Valentine led the way through the crowd, her machetes out as they jogged towards the medical clinic. Michonne was fighting the dead following them and the ones coming from the sides. The horde was becoming aware of them, hands reaching out as they passed by.

One particularly fast walker got its clutches on Valentine's hair, it's boney fingers curled into the dirty strands. Michonne ran up and sliced through her hair before killing the walker. Valentine panted as she pulled away from the incoming biters, her tired feet directing Rick up the stairs and into the clinic. There was a flurry of movement, Denise and William began working instantly. Everyone was frantically trying to stop the bleeding while giving Carl life saving fluids.

Valentine swayed at the foot of the bed as a fissure in her chest cracked open. Her mind began replaying her own son's death, the boy jumping in to save his mother just like Carl. The room blurred from her consciousness and her body filled with rage. Every single cell in her caught fire as the anger from losing both boys at the hands of another drove her over the edge. Glancing at Rick she rasped, "tell him I love him." She wasn't sure if she was speaking of Carl or Daryl but in that moment Valentine had to walk away. She had to do something violent and deep down Valentine knew what she was about to do would most likely get her killed.

Rick looked at her with bloodshot eyes and a tear covered face, his brow wrinkled in confusion. Turning on her heel, Valentine strode out into the streets with both her blades out. Fury poured from her arms like the crashing waves upon a shore. She snarled back at the monsters, the sounds coming from her no different than the cannibals themselves. Her blades struck out as she moved through the crowd, her feet light and body low. Valentine worked her way down the street, stepping over dead bodies and broken limbs. The ground was soaked in blackened gore and the fresh blood of Alexandrians. She had tunnel vision as her chest heaved and eyes blurred. She was covered in more walker blood, her skin hidden completely by the sticky substance.

At some point a group of people joined her, Rick on her right and Michonne of her left as others fought back to back. Valentine had tears streaming down her cheeks as the face of her son flashed through her mind, images merging with the memory of Carl's gutted eye socket. She kept hearing him say, "Dad." The sound of his voice and Michaels screams became a sickening echo reverberating through her throbbing skull.

Her arms hurt from killing corpses left and right but the pain was nothing like the ache in her chest. If Carl was dead, Valentine wasn't sure she would survive. Too much had happened in the last few months and losing another son wasn't something Valentine could live through, especially when he had sacrificed himself for her.

* * *

 

Daryl drove the large truck after ditching his bike a mile out of town, they needed the gas of both vehicles to run the military truck. Glenn sat in the passenger seat while Abraham and Sasha rode in the back of the humvee, the pair both playing with new toys provided by the US government.

"Fuckin' A. I always wanted t'fire one of these babies. I'm gonna light some shit up my man." Abraham hollered while tinkering with a rocket launcher, slapping Daryl on the shoulder.

"Shuddup and focus." Daryl barked back, his eyes filling with the images before him, "Look."

The group pulled up the road to see Alexandria surrounded in dead, a large panel had collapsed and the horde had invaded. Daryl's chest clenched as they witnessed just how much of the herd had broken off.

"Fuck." He cursed, driving slowly up to the gate. Walkers began to surround the vehicle, their moans echoing and hands pounding on the doors. Glenn looked over at Daryl with troubled eyes, "What do we do?"

"Let's turn around, honk and get 'em to follow us out." Sasha suggested, leaning forward. "Just like before. We lead 'em out of town, double back."

Daryl shifted the large truck and turned it around before honking the deafening horn over and over. Slowly they drove away from the town yet again, a trail of dead shuffling behind them. He fought against every cell in his body that screamed at him to return to Valentine. They had a mission to complete and if the town had any chance at surviving they needed to do it.

Hours later the sun was almost setting as they approached a literal fork in the road.

"Got a grand fucking idea Chief." Abraham announced, "see that house up there?"

Grunting in response Daryl looked over his shoulder as the large redhead opened the roof hatch, his broad frame aiming the large rocket launcher at the house on the left side of the fork, a few hundred yards away.

"Say hello to my little friend, motherfuckers." He muttered before firing the rpg into the large farmhouse. The structure exploded, the roof flying off into giant shards. Fire engulfed the building as pieces of walls collapsed, bricks dropping dozens of feet away. Abraham hooted loudly, his laugh loud enough to hear over the dead and the roaring fire.

"Sit down. We gotta floor it." Sasha shouted before motioning to Daryl, "go right. Let's lose them so we can head back."

They rode quickly through the winding streets, Daryl's eyes periodically landing in the side mirrors looking for the herd they left behind. With no sight of the undead parade, Daryl let his mind focus on returning to Valentine. He had no idea if she was still alive after the dead got inside the town's walls. Deep down he knew she could survive just about anything but a group of walkers that large could take down just about anyone. That many hungry mouths and grasping hands could tear a house down if properly motivated.

It was pitch dark when they arrived home, the towns streets vacant of walking dead and the living. They pulled the truck up to the opening, parallel parking in the large gaping fence line. The large vehicle blocked most of the exit, it wasn't perfect but it would help control any dead influx. Jumping down the raised truck cab, Daryl moved cautiously with the others, weapons raised as they stepped over fallen dead bodies. The town was a warzone, almost every square inch covered with blood and gore. His eyes widened as he saw the piles of corpses and broken homes. It felt as if he had been gone years, not a day and a half. The town had gone from ideal to a horror show within moments it seemed.

Movement near the medical center had Daryl's bow up and ready, his eyes scanning the darkened streets for the cause of the shifting shadows. A shape moved towards them, the rifle propped in its arms letting them know it was a living being, not a walker.

"Daryl?" Aaron prompted, his wide eyes filled with relief. "Thank god. Are you guys ok?"

"Yeah." Sasha responded from beside Daryl, "You?"

"Yeah. Yeah… well some of us." He muttered, glancing over his shoulder to the medical clinic he turned back. His eyes found Daryl's and he explained, "Carl was shot… in the face."

"Jesus." Abraham growled, "how?"

"Not sure yet. It was after the herd broke in." the man informed while following them to the stairs of the clinic. "Rick and Michonne are inside with him. William and Denise saved his life. We lost people from the intruders and the herd."

"Val?" Daryl rasped, his eyes flicking around the town hoping to see her approaching.

"She's around… finishing up any walkers. Daryl…" Aaron started but then looked away. Growling he grabbed Aaron's shirt and barked, "What?!"

"She's uh.. she's upset. About Carl and everything else." Aaron explained, pointing towards the back of the complex, "Last time I saw her, she was over there. She's covered in blood. Walker blood so don't shoot her."

Daryl's wrinkled brow had Aaron elaborating, "She did it to cover her scent. I've never… I've never seen anything like it. She moved through them. Killed them while surrounded. It was… I just. I've never seen anything like it."

Nodding Daryl chewed his lip while looking the direction she was supposedly in. "She ok?"

"She's… as good as she could be. If you find her, get her to come back to the medical clinic. She had an injury from the others that broke in. A cut. She needs to get cleaned up before it gets infected."

Nodding Daryl headed towards the back of the town instantly, the knowledge of her having an injury that needed tending to had his feet quicken and his heart racing. Wandering through the streets, his bow up and eyes scanning the ground for living dead men, Daryl eventually found her stabbing a crawling corpse. Her head popped up as he moved towards her, her face and arms coated in black blood. The normally curly blonde hair was matted to her skull with oily brown liquid. The only way he knew she was still alive and not a walking dead, were the weapons she wielded.

"Val?" Daryl croaked, his voice hoarse and surprisingly fragile. He watched as she strode towards him, her eyes wild and dirty face tormented. Dropping his bow to the ground, Daryl caught her as she launched into his arms. Her body shuddered as sobs wracked through her shaking form.

"I gotcha." He rasped, holding onto the gruesome spectacle while rocking back and forth.

"Fuck darlin' yeah smell like shit." He joked a few minutes later as she still clutched to his body. A laugh broke the tension as she pulled back to look at him, her arms and legs still wrapped around his body.

"You would too if you had to walk through a herd." She spoke, her voice cracking and weak.

"Let's get you cleaned up huh?"

Shaking her head she replied, "I still have a few streets to clear. There may still be dead ones."

"It's dark out. Everybody should be headin' inside. In the mornin' we can clear a'right?" he asked, letting her slip to her feet.

Valentine followed him without much argument, the action showing Daryl just how exhausted she must be. The woman was as stubborn as mule most times and usually only relented after much more discussion.

When they arrived at the medical center she looked up at the porch to see Rick and Michonne speaking to William. Her eyes met Rick's as he climbed down the stairs.

"Is he?" she choked, her voice cracking under the pressure of her fear.

"He's stable. Good to see ya brother" Rick informed, pulling Daryl into a hug before wrapping his arms around Valentine. "You did good Val."

"He got shot Rick! Because of me. That fucker." She growled but Rick interrupted and assured her, "It wasn't your fault. It was his. And you saved him by getting him help. By killing so many walkers. You did good."

Valentine didn't looked convinced and Daryl looked confused but neither stuck around to talk it over. Everyone was exhausted from the last couple days of havoc and there would be time to discuss everything that happened later. The most important task at hand for Daryl was to get Valentine cleaned and her injury tended to, not to mention a meal since he doubted she'd eaten in the last 48 hours.

"C'mon. Ya need a shower and Aaron said you're hurt." He instructed motioning for her to follow him home. "We'll wash up and I'll check it out for ya."

Her head nodded lazily before following him on tired feet. Daryl could tell she was close to falling down, her body barely making it up the stairs of the house. The dead had invaded their home, the door broken open and bodies strewn across the floor. Propping the door over the hole, he tried to give them some semblance of security. Daryl climbed over a few corpses on the stairs before helping Valentine over the obstacle.

Once inside the bathroom he began peeling off the disgusting clothing that seemed to be glued to her body. It was as if she were shedding skin like a serpent, the smell and sight making him gag.

"Sorry." She mumbled as he turned to retch violently into the toilet. "It was the only way."

"I know." He grunted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Did what ya had to."

Nodding she kicked off her boots and eventually they were both stripped bare. Daryl turned her around as she mentioned the injury on her back. The bandages were the waterproof kind, which kept the walker blood from infecting her wound. Daryl silently thanked whoever had taken care of it to think of putting on such a barrier.

The couple climbed inside the shower stall and Daryl began washing her sickening looking skin. The tile was splattered with blood and guts, the dark water twirling down the drain. He scrubbed her down for close to an hour before the water ran clear. As he washed her hair he found a giant lock of it cut shorter than before.

"What happened here?" he inquired as he motioned to the large swath of jagged hair. Valentine snorted and rasped, "Michonne gave me a haircut."

His eyes grew concerned but relaxed as she explained, "A walker got a hold of it, she cut me free."

Shaking his head he drawled, "Gonna have to even this shit out, ya look like a weirdo."

Laughing quietly she peered up at him looking far more relaxed, "I'm so fucking happy your home."

"Me too darlin'. Me too."

 


	45. Chapter 45

Valentine was standing in front of the open refrigerator staring blankly at the food and feeling the escaping cold air. She was still baffled at the working appliances and running water. It was actually shocking to her that she had become so accustomed to living in what was essentially a Stone Age that the simple pleasure of taking a warm shower or drinking from the tap was mind blowing. Snorting at the image of her whole family dressed as cave men, Valentine pulled out a dish of what looked like leftover beans and rice. She was starving so without heating up the dish the woman hopped up on the countertop and began spooning the meal into her mouth with her fingers. Chewing slowly she swung her bare feet back and forth while looking out the window. Valentine could see someone in the backyard, a broad back dressed in a black tshirt. Narrowing her eyes she tried to place who in their group was tall and blonde. Spencer had been sorta of blonde but Michonne had ended him after he tried to kill Valentine only to grievously wound Carl. The teen was still unconscious in the medical clinic, Denise and William hopeful of his recovery but still hesitant to guarantee any quality of life.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand she dropped the dish on the counter and hopped off the edge. She looked down and saw she was only wearing sleep shorts and a tank top but decided she needed to know who was wandering around in her backyard more than be modest. Striding out the backdoor she stopped at the edge of the stairs, her hand moving to her hip before mentally slapping herself for leaving without her machetes.

'Fucking moron.' She thought with a grimace.

"Hey!" She snapped, "what the fuck are you doing?"

The figure was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, almost swaying near the large metal wall. The movements were definitely nearing undead behavior but there was no smell of rot nor any groans of unrest.

"Hey shit for brains!" She snarled, climbing down the steps quickly, her hand grabbing a shovel nearby. She had it poised to hit the man as he finally turned around, his wild blue eyes so familiar yet completely foreign. It had been months and months since she had really pictured her dead husband in full clarity and seeing him stand there as if nothing had happened was shocking. Her stomach dropped as a sudden feeling of dread hit her, grief and sorrow was prevalent but a steady growing feeling of horror filled her chest.

Paul stood there looking the same as always except for the gruesome W craved into his forehead. It dripped with blood, two streams flowing down into his eyes and down his tan cheeks like gruesome tears. Swallowing thickly she gasped, "Paul?"

"Lambs for the slaughter." He rasped, his voice rough and hollow.

Valentine shot upright in bed, her chest heaving as her eyes jumped around the room. Her ears were ringing painfully as her lungs sucked in air like they'd been deprived of it for too long. Daryls voice finally broke through her mind bending panic attack, "you're a'right, Val. Just a dream."

"Y-yeah." She stammered, shaking the images out of her head but still hearing Paul's frightening words and haunting voice.

"Wanna t-?"

"No." She interrupted sharply, her eyes blazing.

"Ya gotta."

"No."

"Ya gotta." He repeated, his eyes burning into her with determination stemming from his love for her. She could see it plan as day, the man loved her and all he wanted was to take care of her. She couldn't hold back from such loyalty.

"I was downstairs eating and I saw someone... I went outside and when he turned around it was Paul..." She paused glancing at him to check if he knew who she was talking about. They spoke about the past but it was always in a detached way.

He nodded minutely motioning for her to continue. She swallowed the lump swelling in her throat as the images flooded her mind.

"H-he had a W carved in his head. It was bleedin' like bloody tears and he came at me... His voice, he said... He said lambs for the slaughter."

Daryl hand had started stroking her back as she clawed her hair back off her face and mumbled, "it was nothing... Just. Weird and creepy."

They were quiet for awhile until Daryl rasped quietly, "ya dream 'bout him a lot?"

Shaking her head she murmured, "I feel bad but... I don't. I haven't really even pictured him in a long time. It's like it never happened or like it was another life. Sometimes I think that I've just been reincarnated into this body after the old one died."

Daryl nodded slightly and he confessed, "used t'see Merle. Hear him shit talkin'. Callin' me a pussy like always." He snorted, his eyes rolling to hers. She smiled at him and jabbed, "never told me your brother was so smart."

Glaring at her didn't hide the twitch of his lip or the huff of laughter but Daryl tried to conceal his amusement.

"Asshole." He muttered, bumping her with his elbow playfully. Valentine bit her lip containing her grin before releasing it, her eyes meeting Daryl's.

"I see shit too." She spoke after the humor fizzled from her. "I see... Him."

Daryl's eyes narrowed and jaw tightened, the man obviously knowing the 'him' she was talking about. "Doin what?"

Shrugging she looked away and muttered, "usually hitting on me and talking shit."

Laughing dryly she confessed, "actually kinda helped me through shit back at that farm... I uh. I saw him in the basement. He was different but not. I don't know." She shook her head and chewed her lip, Daryl was obviously becoming upset at her words.

"M'sorry." She apologized quickly, "I don't.. I don't want to see him. I don't feel like that anymore."

Daryl put a hand up to stop her rambling. "It's a'right Val. Ain't mad. What else?"

Swallowing nervously she twists the blanket in her hand as she continued, "he fucking gave me a pep talk. Was all 'you can do it'." Laughing under her breath she muttered, "I know it's me, I know he's not really there but sometimes it feels... Real."

Daryl tucked the hair behind her ear and he offered, "think ya should talk to Denise. She told me she used t'be a counselor."

Rolling her eyes Valentine's replied, "fuck no. I don't need some naive asshole telling me I have ptsd. No shit everyone still alive on the damn planet has it. It's the way of the world."

Grinding his teeth Valentine watched him as he seemed to chew on his next words like broken glass. "She worked with rape victims."

The phrase cut through the air like one of Valentine blades, the words brutally sharp and unpleasant. Her chest began rising and falling fast as the words sunk into her like stones in water. It was shocking that even Valentine hadn't spoken or thought of the bile causing word. Of course she knew that was what happened. She had been... Raped. It clung to her brain like talons, all coated in poison and lye. It began a steadily increasing feeling of weakness to devastate her.

"Val?" He spoke after a long deafening silence. "Talk t'me darlin'."

"I'm not sure I can do that."

"Why?"

"I just. I don't think I can talk to some random idiot who hasn't lived out there." She explained, the statement technicalLy true but not nearly the reason she wouldn't speak about it. Valentine knew if she started talking she may never stop and everything that she had done and had done to her may spill out all over the pleasant suburbia that was Alexandria. Not that it was that pleasant now that the streets were filled with rotting meat and congealing blood.

"Besides. We have bigger shit to worry about than my feelings." She offered, rolling her shoulder and climbing out of bed. "We need to repair the wall and clear the fucking filthy streets. Repair homes and patrol the area for more of those assholes."

"Hey." Daryl grunted, gripping her wrist to keep her from getting dressed and leaving. "C'mere."

"Daryl I gotta-"

"Now." He insisted, pulling of her arm with a firm tug. "C'mon."

Sighing she sat down and looked out the window rather than make eye contact. The woman didn't want Daryl to see the barely contained emotions behind her eyes. He would only feel guilt for it and try to fix it but there was no fixing what was wrong with Valentine. At least by others because the only way Valentine could see her becoming a healthy human again would be if someone built a time machine.

"I just want ya to feel better. I want ya t'sleep without wakin' up scared. I fuckin'." He paused, his hand tugging on hers to get her attention. When she made eye contact he spoke more openly than ever before. "I love you Valentine and all I want in this whole shitty fuckin' world is a 'you and me'. And that won't happen if ya pull away and bury it all again. Ya can't. I won't if you won't. We gotta do this together."

Valentine was holding her breath for the whole speech and when he added, "I love you darlin'. Please." Her lungs empty in a rushed gust.

Tears stung her eyes and she felt as if she may be drowning but she powered through it. Nodding a couple times she croaked, "ok."

The man nodded with her and he cupped her cheek, "just wanna help."

"I know." She murmured, looking up at him as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I love you too, you know?"

Grunting once he looked away as heat crawled up his neck making Valentine smirk. He was always so embarrassed when she said the words to him. "A lot." She added, poking him in the side playfully. Huffing out breath he rasped, "easy. Gonna break a rib."

Laughing lightly she gave him a coy smirk, "riiiight. It has nothin' to do with the fact that you're as ticklish as a school girl."

With narrowed eyes and thinly pressed lips Daryl huffed an irritated snort before climbing out of bed. "Ain't ticklish."

"Mmmhmm. And I'm the queen of England." She snarked with a tiny grin. Rolling his eyes he grunted, "let's go get shit done. Had enough of your lip."

Snorting she teased, "liar. You like my lips."

Daryl paused at the door, his body turning to her as he slow raised a hand to cup her cheek. Valentine breath caught as his thumb traced the curve of her bottom lip, the man's eyes begging to kiss her but his body refusing to make the first move. Placing a hand on the center of his broad chest, Valentine stretched up to place her lips carefully on his. It was chaste but sweet, both of them sinking into each other heavily. Daryls other hand landed on her hip as he slowly moved his lips gently teasing hers. Pulling back she gazed up at him and whispered, "I've missed you."

Daryls eyes slid shut as if the words were what he'd been yearning for, for a lifetime and he pressed his forehead against hers, his hand still framing her face and squeezing her hip. "Missed ya so fuckin' much sweetheart."

* * *

 

Climbing the stairs of the medical building Valentine found Michonne sitting on the ground, her arms rest on her bent legs. The woman's bowed head slowly turned up as Valentine approached to crouch in front of her friend.

"Anything new?" She asked quietly, her eyes flicking over Michonne face searching for answers. Shaking her head Michonne muttered, "nothing. He's just... Not awake."

"What are the Doc's saying?"

"Say he may wake, may not. If he does he might not ever be the same." She informed, her eyes bloodshot and glassy. "William said he doesn't think there's been any brain damage by the bullet but the swelling could still cause it."

Valentine swallowed thickly and clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. That fucker had been aiming at her and now Carl was inside the little building fighting for his life.

"This is my fault." She muttered, slumping down heavily not to Michonne.

"This is Spencer's fault. He pulled the trigger."

"He was aiming for me." Valentine growled, "he was mad at me. His Fuckhead brother got Noah killed..." She clenched her jaw tightly as she pictured Noah being torn apart by claws and teeth. "I chose not to help him. I did that. And now..."

"And now we wait for that stubborn shit to stop sleeping in." Michonne provided with a wobbly smile, the woman trying to lighten the mood.

Shaking her head Valentine chewed her lip harshly, "that was my bullet. I deserved it. Not Carl."

"You don't deserve shit." Michonne exclaimed, standing up to pace a few times while balling her fists. "Those fuckers deserved it. Not you and not Carl."

Looking away, Valentine rolled her shoulder to dry her wet cheek. "Gonna go see him. You should go rest."

"Send Rick home too will you? Or get him to lay down at least."

Nodding she kept her teary eyes away from her friend, knowing if she saw the emotion eating her up Michonne wouldn't leave. Slowly Valentine heard her leave and let her body calm down before entering the medical office.

Rick was sitting in a chair but bent over, resting his head on Carl's chest. She could hear him whispering to the unconscious teen, his rough voice too quiet for her to understand. The creak of the floor boards had Rick glancing at her sharply before relaxing at the sight of her.

"Ya a'right?" He rasped, sitting up straight as she approached. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Valentine slide her hand over Carl's to grip it loosely. His skin was cool to the touch, his complexion pale. He'd lost quite a bit of blood from the injury, so much that Rick and several others had donated their own.

Nodding softly, Valentine avoided Ricks eyes. The guilt of having caused his son's grievous injuries crushing her chest like a iron vise. Swallowing thickly she stared at the large bandage covering almost half of Carl's face, her throat filled with a tight knot.

"M'sorry." She choked out, her voice breaking and teary eyes avoiding Rick's. The man stood up, pulling her with him to curl around her. Valentine could feel his body shudder with sobs, tears soaking her shirt.

"Ain't your fault," he rasped thickly after his cries subsided, pulling back to look down at her. "Ain't your fault."

Pressing her forehead into his chest she asked, "is he going to be ok?"

"Prayin' for it. He's strong, real strong and he's survived before."

Inhaling slowly, Valentine backed up and motioned to the empty cot, "go lie down. I'll wake you if he wakes up."

Rick stood there hesitantly before giving her a brief nod and relaxing on the bed. She sat quietly, her eyes scanning the teen for any sign of movement or change.

"Deanne's dead." Rick spoke, jolting her out of her mind.

"How?"

"Got bit. Went out fighting." He drawled, the man staring at the ceiling. "This is our town now."

Valentine nodded, her eyes flicking to his tired face. "Whatever's left of it you mean?"

"We'll rebuild the walls. We'll expand the walls. There will be more. There's gotta be more." Rick spoke quietly but confidently.

"Everything Deanna was talking about... is possible. It's all possible. I see that now. When I was out there... with them... when it was over... when I knew we had this place again... I had this feeling. It took me a while to remember what it was... because I haven't felt it since before I woke up in that hospital bed."

Valentine chewed her lip, staring at Carl's hand which was now twitching. "Hope?"

"Yeah... I want to show Carl a new world, a better world."

Smiling softly, she tipped her chin murmuring, "get some sleep. You can tell him all about it in the morning."

"G'nite. Val." He rasped before dozing off.

* * *

 

Daryl grabbed the ankles of a dead body while Aaron clutched under its arms. They heaved it onto the flatbed truck used for walker disposal. Working quietly, Daryl used the time to get his head on straight. After everything the last few days, the man felt more worn down than ever before. Both physically and mentally. Valentine was sleeping finally, William having given her a sleep aid. She'd been plagued with nightmares all night and he wasn't sure if she'd slept more than a couple hours at a time in weeks.

"Valentine saved our lives two fold." Aaron informed, wiping his forehead with a bandana. "Those people that broke in... They would've killed us all without her making a dent in their numbers. Then the dead? She walked among them. Never seen something like that."

"She's strong." Daryl rasped, clearing his throat awkwardly, "she kill a lot of those guys?"

"Yeah. And not with just her blade. She fought them hand to hand, you teach her that?"

"Nah." He grunted, grabbing another body by the shoulders. "Her husband."

"Oh." Aaron murmured, "well. Either way it was impressive."

"Yeah." He replied, chewing his lip in thought before he confessed. "She had to fight... in sanctuary. He made her fight."

Aaron nodded, "a few mentioned it. I can't imagine."

"First time I saw her she was fightin this big ol' fucker. Prolly two fifty." He continued to speak for some unknown reason, the curly haired man was somehow easy to talk to. "Killed 'im with a corkscrew."

"Jesus." Aaron muttered, while climbing the stairs into another home. The living room was covered in walker gore and muddy footprints. The horde had obviously broken into the home leaving behind trampled corpses and crushed furniture. Daryl tossed a few chairs out of the way to stab a crawling undead before yanking it out from underneath a table.

"Damn. Thought we got 'em all."

"Just watch your step." Daryl warned, the pair removing the body.

"This guy.. The one who made her fight, he's dead?"

"Yeah. Hopefully he's rottin' in hell."

"He do that to her back?"

Daryl glared at him, the idea of others seeing her at her most vulnerable making him simmer. Aaron noticed the heat in his eyes and explained, "when she was in the medical clinic getting stitches… I saw it. Sorry I didn't mean-."

Shaking his head, Daryl chewed his lip while picturing Valentine's poor back. Just thinking about it brought back memories of her being held by two men while the son of bitch raked Lucille down her back. The spiked wire cutting ruts into her abused flesh.

"Watched him do it once." Daryl confessed, his chest cinching with guilt. He'd watched Valentine be tortured and did nothing. Of course he didn't know her at the time but Daryl couldn't help but question his humanity for not stopping it anyway.

"I'm sure there wasn't anything you could've done. It's obvious you love her deeply." Aaron assured, his blue eyes filled with sympathy.

Rolling his broad shoulder heavily, Daryl rasped, "shoulda done somethin'. The fucker jus'…" The tough redneck couldn't even finish the sentence, opting to swallow the description of the terror he witnessed. Looking away he cleared his throat. "Bes' get shit done. Ain't got all day."

* * *

 

The walls were up and a month had passed uneventfully, it was all the group could hope for. Valentine had been working with Michonne and Rick on the security of the town. Throughout the woods trenches and foot traps had been installed to catch walkers and to slow invading threats. The perimeters had been expanded to include a few nearby structures, including a local bank which now housed their food and weapon supplies. In a pinch the structure could be used as a safe house during another invasion of dead or the living.

The supply teams had begun moving out further into the surrounding states, Glenn leading the team with Heath. They'd been searching for more solar power panels as well as the parts required to convert vehicles to biodiesel.

Recruiting had taken the backseat to rebuilding but word had gotten out that the supply team had brought back two men while scavenging. Valentine and Daryl had been cleaning the entire armory when Aaron came in announcing the news.

"I want you to come meet them, Daryl. You can read them and I'm uncomfortable having not met these guys before they were brought inside."

Nodding Daryl rasped, "comin'?"

Valentine dipped her head while setting everything aside. She followed them outside and towards the front gates.

"One was taken to the infirmary. He had a injured ankle. The other is speaking to Rick and Maggie." Aaron informed as they approached the small group near the fence line.

"What's you're gut sayin'?" Daryl asked from Valentine side. The woman however could no longer hear what the two men were saying because the sight of who was standing nearby cracked something open inside her.

The last month had allowed Valentine to heal fully from her physical injuries, the time working as a balm for the anger and pain from her time inside that basement. All of that emotional progress was shoved away when her eyes connected with the man before her. He was a stocky man wearing dirty flannel and road worn jeans, his blonde hair matted and face sunburnt.

Her jaw set on edge and her hand landed on the machete hilt. Valentine recognized the man's grey eyes and the gruffness of his laugh as he joked with Glenn. Her mouth filled with bile as the sounds and smells of her assault flooded her senses, her mind spinning out of control. With the large blade out, Valentine's body was lunging with such speed no one understood what was happening until the man was pinned to the ground by the feral woman.

She crouched over his torso, her knees pressing his body into the ground.

With a snarl she yanked his head back, her blade pressed into his jugular while jeering, "I'm going to enjoy myself as much as you did."

Valentine's sharp teeth were bared and her fist was ripping his hair out the roots. He grappled with her but soon realized he was in a losing fight, his new tactic to deny even knowing her.

"I d-don't know what you're t-talkin about. I don't know you. Help. I don't know her." He gasped his head pulling back away from her snarling teeth. The others were all crowding around her, both Rick and Daryl hovering close enough to try and intercede.

"Fucking lying rapist." She snarled, spittle flying on his face as she clutched his hair with a twisting grip. Someone grabbed at her but she shook them off violently while kneeing the man in the chin.

There were shouts for her to stop by Olivia and a man she didn't know but Valentine ignored them. Arching her attacker's neck further Valentine hacked her blade through his neck, her gesture with no finesse, the motion jagged and violent. All the more painful and gruesome for the keening man, the sound almost more horrifying than the sight.

She screamed a feral howl before bringing her blade up to smash him in the face a handful of times before she was yanked away from the mutilated corpse. With hands and face covered in blood, Valentine was forcibly removed from the group of people witnessing her meltdown, her weapon taken swiftly.

Her body was undulating in Daryl's arms, her feet kicking and arms flailing out as she struggled to get free. She was shouting indecipherable words and threats. Everything inside her broke into a million little pieces again. It was as if she were back in that basement, trapped inside the memory and guttural feelings of violation and weakness.

* * *

 

Daryl's hands couldn't hold her long, the woman slipping away from him. He watched for a moment as she stalked away, a clean hunting blade now clenched in her fist. Realizing she was heading to the clinic for the other man, Daryl ran after her as she picked up speed.

There were shouts behind him but he kept after her, his legs lunging up the stairs of the porch. Inside he found Valentine tackling a large man, her blade poised above his chest as he tried to fight her off. Rick joined them as the two fell to the ground, wrestling for the weapon.

Daryl yanked on her arm, tearing her away from danger while Rick knocked the man out with a huge right hook. Valentine was screaming, her body thrumming with tension as Daryl pushed her against the wall.

"Val! Stop!" He barked, blocking her vicious knees as she fought for freedom. The woman was no longer seeing him, she was still fighting her way out of that basement.

"Lemme go. Lemme go. Fuckers." She screeched, her elbow landing on Rick's face as he tried to help.

"Valentine." Rick shouted, his hand grabbing her face, "lookit me Val. Lookit me."

Her chest was heaving quickly, Daryl wasn't sure how she was still conscious. Large brown eyes peered up at him, her face stricken. "It's him. It's him. He… That one. He." Swallowing thickly she shook her head so violently, Daryl heard her neck crack.

"Shh." He soothed, his hands releasing her biceps to cup her face. "Easy. Take a breath darlin'."

"Can't." She gasped, her bloodshot eyes clenching shut. "I can't. I can't. I can't."

"Ya can. It's easy. Deep breath in 'n hold it." He instructed her, his thumb brushing across her cheeks. Daryl tried to listen to his own directions but couldn't believe one of the men who had tortured her was in the room. How he was supposed to keep Valentine from killing the bastard while controlling his own murderous desires was beyond him.

The man came to, his huge shape rolling to his side. Rick dragged him upright to his knees, his hands bound behind him with handcuffs.

Daryl looked over the bloodied man, his shaggy hair hanging in his eyes as his nose dripped crimson from Rick's lead fist. His thick arms were wrapped with tribal tattoos, his clothes ragged. It didn't seem like the men still had a camp by the looks of them.

Rick began to questioning the kneeling man, his words clipped and eyes hard. Valentine stared at him, her teeth clenched as Daryl tried to remove her from the room.

"No! I'm not leaving." She growled, pushing Daryl away while stalking up to the handcuffed man.

"You're fucked." She sneered at him, her hands clenched into fists. The cocky man smirked and drawled, "No, I think it was you who was fucked. Am I right?"

Her hands tightened as she moved forward but Rick grabbed her shoulder only to be shaken off.

"How many was it?" Felix taunted, "I lost track but I'm sure you know. I'm sure you got a number."

"That's enough." Rick snarled the hilt of his Python landing hard enough to knock the man out yet again. Valentine spun on her heel, marching from the building, her stride angry. Daryl stood with his own hands balls into white knuckled fists, his eyes leaving Valentine's receding back to fall on Rick's concerned face.

"He's mine." Daryl rasped, his eyes hard and mouth downturned while glaring at the man's prone form.

"After we get some answers, he's all yours."

* * *

 

Valentine paced back and forth while Daryl watched. He would be a liar if he said he didn't want to know what the man was talking about. She hadn't told him who or how many times it occurred but now he knew it wasn't just a one off, if Felix was telling the truth it had happened so many times, he lost count. His guts churned at the thought of one man touching her forcibly, the fact that it could have been as many men as there were in the camp had him close to throwing up from rage.

"Just ask." She broke the silence her voice more exhausted than angry.

"What?"

"Don't fuck around Dixon." She growled, the use of his last name telling him she was distancing herself. "Ask me for the fucking number."

"No."

"I know you wanna know." She shouted, her voice rising and eyes blazing, "just have the balls to ask me."

"Fine how many times?"

"Shouldn't you ask how many men instead? That's what matters. How many other men got to have what was yours." The woman sneered, her tone argumentative but eyes fearful.

"Was?" he rasped, the word a red flag to where her mind was going.

"Yeah, was. Believe me I under-fucking-stand it. I can't look at myself, how could I expect someone else too?" she resigned.

Standing up, Daryl vowed while pointing at her "You're fucking crazy if you think I'm leaving you."

Snorting loudly she jeered, "There's plenty more options for you now Dixon. You don't have to settle for shit merchandise."

He couldn't stand the sadness in her frame, the slump in her shoulders. "Stop."

She didn't stop though, Valentine continued to press his buttons, "I'm sure there's some housewife with a bad boy fetish. You could start out with a fresh model. Someone who hasn't been fucked six ways from Sunday by a bunch of animals."

"Stop!" he shouted with a red face and tense shoulders.

"No I'm trying to help. I'm fucked... I've been fucked and you deserve more... You deserve better than me."

"Shuddup and get the fuck over here."

"No. I can't do this anymore. I can't... I gotta go." She turned to leave but Daryl cut her off, his hand pressing the bedroom door shut loudly.

"Ya ain't leavin me." He murmured, his hand circling her wrist tightly.

"What're you gonna do huh? Chain me up?" She snarled yanking her hand away from him roughly.

"Stop Val. Stop lashing out at me."

"Fuck you." She sneered, "fuck everyone. I'm goddamn tired of everyone and everything."

Daryl couldn't stuff the anger down, the woman was the testing his final nerve. "Shut up and sit the fuck down." He shouted in her face, his eyes narrowing. "Enough. Ya ain't runnin' from shit. Ya gotta fuckin' deal with what's going on in that thick fuckin' skull of yours or you're gonna get yourself killed."

"I don't fucking care." She hissed, walking to the window. "I don't fucking care. Don't you get it? Just let me go."

Daryl swallowed thickly as she stood by the window her shoulders curled forward while her arms wrapped around her middle. It looked as if she were trying to hold herself together, her mouth frowned and dark eyes tumultuous.

"Ya don't mean that Val." He rasped, his chest throbbing at the idea she'd lost all drive to live. The idea that those men had finally broken her had him close to dropping to his knees. He wanted to beg and plead for her to not give up, to not leave him.

"I do... That's just it. I feel... done." Her voice was quiet and detached. "I'm sorry Daryl. I can't be what you need and deserve. I thought I could. Before... I could but now... I just can't do this."

Grinding his teeth he looked away from her, his eyes burning but dry. "So what? Ya gonna walk off into the sunset by yourself? Ya gonna opt out like some pussy?" He rasped, his chest throbbing and stomach clenching as he whispered, "ya gonna just.. leave me?"

Valentine blurry eyes landed on him and he saw her biting her lip harshly to hold in sobs. Daryl stepped forward his hand out as an offering. She stared at it a long moment, her eyes overflowing as she sucked in a jagged gasp.

"Please Val. Don't fucking leave me." He begged, his eyes filling now without any control. "Ya can't. We gotta do this together. I ain't gonna make it without ya now. Ya can't leave."

She kept her eyes plastered to the floor while flicking to the hand he still had out for her to grab. Daryl watched tears drip from her jaw onto her shirt, the cotton soaking through. Slowly she placed her hand in his, the man using the opportunity to reel her into his chest. He slowly wrapped her up in his arms and felt her body finally crack into pieces. Gut wrenching sobs tore through her shaking body, her knees buckling from the intensity.

Daryl scooped her up and sat on the bed, the women held in his lap like a child. Rocking back and forth he pressed kisses to her temple and face, his arms holding her securely.

An hour later as her tears dried and his legs were numb she hoarsely whispered. "7... I think.. Maybe more."

Daryl heart lurched into his throat and his arms tightened around her. Pressing his lips to her sweaty forehead he closed his prickling eyes and tried to control the fury that swept through him like wild fire. He could taste acidic copper in his mouth as he chewed his cheek raw trying to hold in the cutting rage.

"A couple... more than once." She whispered, her fingers curled into his shirt.

"He one of them?" Daryl rasped, brushing hair from her face.

Shaking her head, Valentine chewed her lip before saying, "No. He watched, told me they'd stop if I answered his questions."

Furrowing his brow he replied, "What was he askin'?"

"Where the group was. What weapons and supplies we had. How many we had."

"That's why they... did what they did? To get you to talk?" He rasped through a throat filled with what felt like broken glass. Daryl hadn't had any idea that the assaults she suffered through we're just a way to extract information from her. She hadn't ever told him details of her kidnapping or the tortures they put her through. His guts twisted at the idea that she had suffered through the worst of the worst protecting them, protecting him.

"Yeah." She replied tiredly, "I'm sorry... I should've told them something. I shouldn't have let it happen."

"No you... fuck Val you went through hell protecting us. Jesus girl, m'sorry."

Shrugging, she avoided his eyes and kept her gaze of the floor, her skin was blotchy and eyes bloodshot. "Doesn't matter." She murmured.

"Yeah it does."

"No. I still got... raped." She spoke, the word stuck in her throat like a splinter. "If I just lied or something."

"It still would've happened. Men like that... They woulda done it anyways."

Valentine played with the buttons on his shirt, her lip chewed firmly between her teeth.

"Just say it." He rasped, as she opened her mouth to say something but stayed silent.

"What if..." She closed her eyes and whimpered, "what if I can't ever..."

"Then we won't. I'm not with you because of sex. I'm with you because I fucking love you."

"But." She muttered, only to be interrupted.

"No. Sex is great and I enjoy it with you, obviously but if it's something that you can't get past then we won't." Daryl assured her knowing it would be difficult and that he would miss that connection with her but he also knew what they had was more than physical. However he knew she could get past her issues, she was survivor for many reasons, one of which was being able to suffer only to become stronger. She was adaptable, a fighter through 'n through.

Huffing out a breath she muttered, "You can't mean that Daryl. It's not like going without your favorite food."

"I know but I'll fucking deal without it just the same." He told her, his eyes honest and open.

Sniffing back a sob her voice quaked, "I don't want you to have to deal without. You deserve to have someone who can make you feel good."

"You do."

"Not in the way you need."

"I need you. However I can have you is what I want. I ain't lettin' ya go and I ain't lettin' ya give up."


	46. Chapter 46

Daryl's heavy fist landed hard against the bloody mess that was Felix's face. They'd gotten answers to many questions but not without the taunts of the bound man, jeers about the inhumane treatment of the woman Daryl loved. Felix caused stomach-roiling images to plague Daryl's mind and he couldn't stop picturing the bastard before him watching while Valentine was assaulted. The knowledge that she had endured what she had in order to keep their family safe had Daryl beating the ever-living shit out the man harder than necessary. A hand landed on Daryl's strained shoulder, his knuckles splitting open on the broken bone of Felix's raw cheek.

"Back off brother." Rick rasped, his voice finally breaking the violent spell overwhelming Daryl. Panting he stepped away and shook out his hand, spitting on the bludgeoned figure. "Asshole." He grunted when Felix met his eye. Giving them a partialLy toothless smile, he chuckled hoarsely, "hey redneck, tell me does she give it as good as she takes it?"

Grinding his teeth, Daryl lunged only to be wrapped up in Rick's tight grip. "Easy." He ordered, "let's get some air."

"That's right. Run along pussy!" Felix shouted as the door slammed shut. Stomping out of the house now designated as a prisoner lock up, Daryl cupped the lighter's flame while sucking in a deep nicotine filled drag. His bloodied hands shook as he flicked ash on the porch floor, smoking trailing out his nostrils. He could feel Rick staring at him from the side but didn't acknowledge it. Daryl wanted to ignore the man's calculating looks, the cop's eye that saw straight through men.

"How is she?" Rick finally broke the tense silence, leaning his forearms on the porch rail. Rolling his shoulder lazily, Daryl rasped, "Ain't sure. She's locked herself up in the tower."

Gazing across the street, the two men looked up at the new scouting tower constructed near the center of town. The thing was three stories high and consisted of a small box with steel rooftop, perched on a steel frame. The tiny space and incredibly high position had most opting out of scout watch. Of the group, Valentine and Sasha spent most their time above the ground, both women struggling in their own ways.

Daryl could see Valentine leaning on the lip of the short wall, a large rifle to her eye as she scanned the perimeter. She hadn't spoken much since the other evening, other than a clip statement of taking over the scouting perch. After her confessions, the pair had spent a couple days avoiding the topic and focusing on keeping the town safe. Despite having agreed to speak to Denise, counseling had taken a back burner.

Daryl wasn't sure how to fix what was happening inside her and everything he almost said was choked on like ashes. The man loved Valentine deeply and wanted nothing more than to make everything all better but he was at a loss.

"She told me..." He started before realizing he was going to speak, his voice sounding strangled and broken.

"What?"

"Tol' me what he meant… 'bout a number." Daryl explained, shifting his weight uncomfortably. "Was 7 of 'em."

Rick eyes narrowed to thin slits and his turned his head towards the lockup's front door. Understanding of Daryl's previous lack of control settled in the Sherriff eyes, his shoulders sinking with the weight of the information.

"He one of them?" Rick's voice cracked through the heavy air.

"No. Ordered it though. Used it like any other weapon." Daryl drawled, chewing his lip roughly before adding, "Tried t'break her. Get our location and numbers. She took all that for us Rick."

His brother stared at him with such intensity Daryl had to look away. Rick was suddenly feeling the guilt that had been plaguing him since discovering the information.

"Ain't your fault." Rick rasped, shaking his head slightly, his gaze returning to the tower. "We've got all we need from him. They aren't a risk anymore. The camps gone. We can end this right now. Burn the body and be done."

"It'll never be done Rick." Daryl spoke after a long silence, his voice hoarse and eyes burning. He peered up at Valentine who made eye contact briefly before returning her gaze to the perimeter.

"Not completely, but it'll be a start." Rick insisted. Sighing heavily he muttered, "People have voiced their concern about her."

"People?"

"Olivia, Heath, Tobin." Rick answered adding, "a few others. They don't trust 'er."

"They don't know her." Daryl growled, his narrowed eyes shifting to the men near the gates. "They don't know shit."

"Just sayin'. This place is ours now but it don't mean they don't matter, that what they think don't matter."

Snorting Daryl shook his head, "Don't matter to me."

"Just talk to her."

"Ya think I ain't tryin'?" Daryl snapped, his blue eyes burning bright. "It's all I do, Grimes."

Rick sighed again, his hands rest on his hips as he peered up at the perch. "I know."

"Can't force 'er. I won't force 'er to do nothin'." Daryl rasped, his eyes meeting Rick's. "Ever."

After a few minutes of silence Daryl murmured, "She was gettin' better. Talkin' and..." he paused feeling the back of his neck heat before choosing to continue, "and kissin'.. Nothin' more but.. she was better 'bout being near me and now? Jus' don't like her shuttin' down again."

Rick nodded and murmured, "noticed she wasn't flinching around me anymore. This doesn't mean she's gonna stop gettin' better."

"Might."

"Yeah and it might not. Don't discount her Dixon. Our girl may need space right now but it don't mean she's broke." Rick assured, his confident tone sounding slightly force as if he were convincing himself. "She's gonna be ok and when this fucker is dead we can all move on."

Grunting in response Daryl elbowed his friend in the ribs. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Rick cocked his head to the side and motioned to the door behind them, "Now are we doin' this?"

"Yeah. Should we tell her?" he asked despite knowing the answer.

"No. She doesn't need to be the executioner all the time." Rick replied, while watching Valentine shoot a walker beyond the walls.

"She might get mad."

Snorting they both exchanged a knowing glance. "That's fine. Rather her mad then broken even further. I remember what it was like after Sanctuary. Revenge isn't healing."

Daryl huffed out a wry breath, "Ain't that what we're doin'? Revenge?"

"Maybe but it's also about justice. He's dying for the crimes he committed." Rick spoke firmly, his eyes blazing.

They looked at each other for a long quiet moment before Daryl muttered, "Sounds like you're tryin' t'convince ya'self of that, brother."

" 'cause I am." Rick rasped, before scrubbing his face roughly. "C'mon le's go."

* * *

 

Valentine straddled the tiny stool in the scouting perch, a large sniper rifle pressed against her shoulder as she scanned the woods. She loved the tower because no one could or would accompany her. The space restrictions and the height made most queasy. Scanning the perimeter, Valentine's eyes landed near the gate, the giant blood stain on the pavement still evident from her gruesome attack on the "stranger". The body had been disposed of but the crimson stain remained. She didn't feel guilt but she did feel ashamed for losing such control in front of everyone. They saw Valentine at her most raw and vulnerable. She knew that even with having protected the town from the invasion of living and dead alike, some would no longer trust her.

"Think m'crazy." She muttered under her breath while scanning the woods for movement. The day had been mind numbingly boring but it was what she needed. Up in the clouds there was no drama but on the ground Valentine knew there would be backlash from her homicidal freak out. She was trying to delay the inevitable.

The sound of someone climbing the narrow ladder had Valentine peering over the side. A blonde head was making its way up, Beth tilting her face up to see her. She smiled softly as she gripped rung after rung, her lean frame ascending cautiously.

"Hi." Beth chirped, "I brought you lunch."

"You didn't have to climb up, I could've come down." Valentine muttered, with a furrowed brow. "There's not a lot of room up here."

"It's fine, I'm not afraid of heights. I used to climb all the trees on Daddy's farm." She said while throwing a leg over into the small cubicle. "He'd get so mad because I'd go to the highest branch. He joked I was part monkey."

Valentine smirked and took the small bundle in the teens hands. Wrapped up in a dish cloth was a slice of bread and a handful of grape tomatoes.

"I found flour and yeast. It's not the best but it'll help with carb cravings." Beth remarked before leaning against the windowsill in the tiny space. Giving her a smile, Valentine thanked her for lunch as Beth asked, "Anything exciting going on?"

"Nope." Valentine replied before popping a tomato in her mouth. Chewing thoughtfully she asked, "how 'bout down there?"

"Well." Beth started, the word drawn out as she seemed to decide on her next words. "Some people are upset about the other day... About that man."

"He wasn't a man." Valentine murmured, her nervous eyes going to Beth before adding, "he was a monster who needed put down."

Nodding the young blonde assured, "we know." The implication obvious, their family knew the killing was justified. They may not have agreed with how it went down but they agreed with the reason.

"It's some of the others."

"Yeah well none of them know what it's like." Valentine spoke bitterly, picking up her rifle to scan the trees, "they should pray to never know and learn not to judge."

"I know." Beth softly replied, her voice understanding. "How are you doing now?"

"I'm alive, so there's that."

Beth smirked and shrugged a shoulder, "that's all you can ask for nowadays."

"Yeah. I guess." Valentine glanced at the home used as a jail cell, Daryl and Rick were no longer on the porch.

"Are they going to kill him?"

"Yeah. I'd like to do it but Daryl probably won't let me."

"I'm sure he's going to want to do it." Beth sat down on the ground and continued, "to protect you."

"He doesn't need to protect me. I've killed so many people now... I don't even know how many."

Beth nodded, her eyes softening, "and thats why he'll take care of it."

Pursing her lips Valentine gave in, "I guess you're right."

"I'm always right."

Snorting Valentine nudged the girls boot with her foot, "smart ass."

"I learned from the best."

The pair was quiet for a few minutes when Valentine brought up the subject she'd been avoiding. "I'm sorry about Noah."

Beth stopped braiding a swath of hair and replied, "me too."

"I'm sorry I wasn't quick enough. He was right there." Valentine could see it in her minds eye. The teen had been so close but not enough to save his life. The look of terror he had as they swarmed him stuck with Valentine. Sometimes when she closed her eyes she'd see a flash of the poor kids face right before it was shorn off.

"You did what you could but people die Val. I-." She choked up a moment, her eyes looking away. Valentine could see a much younger Beth as she struggled to compose herself.

"I'm gonna miss him. He was a good person." Beth finally spoke, her cheeks flush but dry. "He wouldn't want you feelin' guilty."

Tipping her chin down, Valentine nodded a few times. "I'll try. It's hard not to blame yourself for not keeping family safe."

"Well I reckon we all feel like that but ya gotta get past it. Ain't nothin' you can do but live for those we lost. My daddy said that once." Beth explained, her lips curled up. "He was a wise man so I think you best listen."

The sound of a struggle had Valentine's eyes dropping to the ground. Daryl and Rick were dragging Felix down the street, the man trying to shake off their grip.

"Goddamnit." Valentine cursed, setting the gun to the side. Beth grabbed her wrist, "don't go. You don't need to see that."

"But."

"Don't. Let them take care of it. Take care of you."

Grinding her teeth she stood at the opening, her piercing gaze meeting Daryl's eyes as they passed by. Felix looked up as he noticed Daryl's gaze, a bloodied grin spreading across his swollen, bruised face as he struggled to get free.

"Hey sweetheart. You're not going to join us?" He hollered.

"Shut up." Rick barked, tugging his by his bicep.

A few others were gathering on the street, Heath stood with his arms crossed. The man had brought the strangers in and seemed to disagree with killing them. They arrived at the gate which was manned by Tobin, his mouth moving but unheard by Valentine. She could tell he was arguing but Rick had none of it. The sheriff pointed angrily at the guard and could be heard snarling, "open it now!"

Felix took a chance, his body yanking from their grasp as the gate opened. Valentine grabbed her rifle and focused on Felix as he shouldered Heath out of the way, his body low to avoid Rick's drawn revolver. The prisoner tried running, knocking over Tobin as he dodged shots fired by Rick. Felix got outside, his feet taking him towards the woods only to be stopped by a well place sniper round. Valentine pulled the trigger and watched as the man's head cracked open from the large caliber round. His heavy body fell to the ground in a heap as she pulled the scope from her eye. Her mouth was in a firm line as she watched the men check to see if Felix was dead.

"You're good with that thing." Beth's voice jolting Valentine out of her downward spiraling mind.

Shrugging Valentine watched as Rick yelled at both Heath and Tobin, his voice not loud enough to carry but his vibrating frame expressing his anger. Daryl was joined by Michonne and Glenn who moved the body to the truck bed allotted for walker disposal.

Beth asked, "do you want to go down there? I can take watch."

"No. I'm fine."

Nodding the young woman gripped Valentine shoulder and assured, "everything's going to be ok."

Snorting Valentine murmured, "I'll believe when I see it."

Rolling her wide eyes Beth didn't comment only added, "dinner at Rick's tonight ok? I'm making stew with the rabbits Daryl caught."

Smirking Valentine nodded in agreement, "see you there."

* * *

 

Daryl stood at the base of the tower as Beth climbed to the ground, her eyes meeting his as she hopped down.

"She's ok." Beth supplied without him asking, "she's comin' to dinner tonight."

Grunting Daryl flicked his eyes up the steep ladder and rasped, "really a'right?"

Shrugging Beth crossed her arms, her eyes flashing with pain before murmuring, "blames herself for a lot. Carl, Noah… I talked to her about it."

Nodding, he rolled his lip through his teeth, pulling at chapped skin. "She talk back?"

Rolling her eyes Beth muttered, "sorta."

"Thanks Greene." He rasped, his blue eyes conveying the words he couldn't voice. Daryl was more than thankful Valentine had other people looking out for her beside himself.

* * *

 

Later that evening Daryl found Valentine sitting on the porch, her eyes distant but not troubled. He watched her for a moment, his lip chewed between his teeth. When her gaze landed on him, Daryl approached slowly.

"Hey." He rasped, leaning his shoulder against the post near her.

"Hi." She whispered, her eyes flicking to his hands, the knuckles bloodied, split and swollen. Valentine mouth downturned at the sight and she muttered, "should've wrapped your hands."

Pursing his lips, he rolled his shoulder, "ain't bad."

"Can I clean 'em?" She spoke tentatively, her own hands clenching the bench seat. Dipping his chin, Daryl grunted, "a'right."

Climbing the stairs to their bedroom, Valentine collected her first aid kit and a clean towel. Perching on the edge of the bed, he watched as she cleaned each cut and bruise. Rotating each joint she checked for breaks before finally bandaging his hands. Normally he wouldn't have bothered but Daryl could tell she needed to do it.

"Did you get what you wanted?" She asked while taping the last piece of gauze. He shrugged lazily and rasped, "s'pose I don't got much choice. He's dead."

Rolling her eyes she leaned forward, her elbows on her knees and muttered, "you mad you didn't get to kill him?"

"Mad ya had too." He replied softly, his eyes flicking to hers, "wanted to take care of ya… Couldn' even do that right."

Valentine face softened and she reached out to hold his wrist, her thumb brushing across the tan skin. He watched the movement instead of looking up at her understanding eyes. "You take good care of me Daryl."

"Nah." He grunted, shaking his head, his eyes finally met hers. "Didn't save ya that night and couldn' even kill the handcuffed fucker for ya."

"I didn't need you too." She replied cooly.

"Ain't about needs. I wanted to and I should've. Ya don't gotta carry it all Val. I'm here… I'm with ya and I want to care for ya."

Smiling softly she gently wove her fingers through his and assured, "you do, Daryl."

He stared at her for a long moment, the urge to kiss her almost overwhelming him. The man missed being able to touch her, kiss her without pause but he'd never push her.

Valentine seemed to see the urge, her fingers flexing around his. "You can you know." She murmured, her eyes moving to his lips.

"Ya sure?" His voice hoarse but hopeful. Smirking Valentine turned to face him, her knee pressing into his hip. "Yeah."

Reaching forward, Daryl's hand moved to cup her neck, his thumb brushing along her jaw. He traced the curves on her face, the dip of her lip and the crinkle near her eyes. "Ya beautiful." He rasped quietly, his other hand rising to frame her face.

Valentine rolled eyes playfully and muttered, "no reason to butter me up, I already said yes."

Snorting he leaned closer, brushing his nose against hers before gently kissing her lips. Daryl's eyes slide shut as he tasted Valentine, her sweet mouth moving with his. A gentle moan from her wet lips had Daryl's fingers sliding into her hair to pull her firmly against him. Valentine's hands gripped his forearms, her body moving closer.

Eventually she ended up straddling his lap, the pair glued to each other while devouring the others mouth. Daryl's hand moved to her thighs, his curled fingers grabbing her hips to pull her even closer. It was closest they'd be together, the most natural.

"Missed ya." He rasped against her neck while dragging his nose along the curve of her jaw. When her arms wound around his neck, she pressed her forehead against his, chocolate irises drilling into blue. "I missed you. I love you." She murmured, her fingers curling into his vest. Daryl couldn't help but close his eyes at the warmth filling his chest at the soft words.

"Love ya darlin'. More than anythin'."

* * *

 

Rick called a town meeting a week after the execution of Felix. Tobin and Heath had teamed up with Lawrence, Ophelia and Sean, all expressing their concern with Valentine's actions. They disagreed with the slaying within the gates and the torture of Felix and resulting execution beyond the fences.

Valentine stood in front of the group with Rick and Michonne, people were shouting over each other. The debate had been going on for over an hour, the town arguing if she should be trusted, let alone allowed to stay. Deanna had expelled several survivors for even less, the older townies claimed.

The majority of the group weren't in favor of her being exiled but there were enough to try and sway them. Valentine was losing patience with the whole event, her body tensing as another round of arguments started up between her family and Alexandrians.

"Everything I've done is to protect my family. My home." She growled, stepping forward to pointing at the ground. "I killed those men to protect us."

"You did it for revenge." Heath replied, his arms crossed, "nothin' more than murder."

Grinding her teeth, she looked away and her family watching from the sidelines. Rick was speaking lowly to Carol and Abraham while Glenn and Maggie listened in. Daryl was closest, his narrowed eyes drilling holes into Heath.

Turning back to the group of people in front of her, all of whom looked distrustful and suspicious.

"The man at the gate raped me." Valentine voice was loud and hollow, her eyes flickered over every single face in front of her, the dark irises blazing bright. The shouting died down and the chatter fell silent, all eyes were on Valentine as she broke her silence. "the man in the medical clinic ordered him and the rest of his men to do it."

She paused to let the words sink in, her cheek ticking at the flood of memories. The crowd listening flinched at the information, the women pitying and the men uncomfortable.

"He wanted to know where Alexandria was, how many people lived here, what weapons we had. They wanted to come here and take it all. Kill us all." Valentine swallowed thickly, her eyes shifted to Daryl for a brief moment to see him watching stoically. His hands were clenched but his face blank other than the creasing of his brow. The rest of her family were watching with wide eyes.

"I wouldn't talk so they beat me, tortured me... raped me, for hours…. It felt like months." Her voice faded slightly as she swallowed through the knot in her throat. The group's eyes fell away, heavy with shame.

"I killed a lot of them to escape and I will kill every single one I see again." She ended with a growl, her gaze sliding over everyone as she continued, "I don't regret it and I don't care if you understand or condone it. All that matters is that my actions are always fueled by the desire to keep my family and my home safe. I'm only dangerous to those who threaten that." Valentine looked around and asked after a long pause, "Any questions?"

The people who had been the most vocally against her were now silent, the others who hadn't spoken up but had doubted her were now looking regretful.

Nodding once she glanced at Rick and informed, "I'm going back on watch."

Rick dipped his chin and as she passed Daryl she gripped his forearm, murmuring, "I'll see you later."

* * *

 

Valentine was sitting in Denise's small office, the room lined with books and medical diagrams. She bounced her leg as the doctor pulled out a pad of paper and scribbled a few things down.

"What're you writing?" Valentine asked, her eyes narrowed, "I don't need a tell all written about me."

"I like to keep notes. It helps map progress."

"Well not with me. I don't need a record of the shit I'm going to have to tell you. You won't want to revisit it."

"I've heard some pretty terrible stories before Val. I worked with homeless youths and they're very susceptible abuse both on and off the streets."

"Yeah well don't blame me when you can't sleep tonight." Valentine muttered, while picking at her nails. She flipped through the slideshow that often crossed her mind, the first punish hits, Dwight snarling in her face.

"At first they just hit me, kicked me. Then tried to humiliate me. Stripped me naked." She described while shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "They asked me questions and the longer I was quiet the more angry they were."

"What did they ask you?" Denise asked.

"Where my group was, how many people, guns and supplies. Wanted to know anything and everything." Valentine spoke, her mind flashing to Felix screaming in her face as Dwight tormented her with his blade.

"It didn't help that the main guy, Felix, I killed his brother. He wasn't too pleased with me."

"So you knew these men before they took you?"

"A few." She replied, shifting uncomfortably as she began to worry Denise would want to talk about Negan and Sanctuary. That time was a whole different fucked up story. Valentine wasn't too sure she could survive the rehashing of that time of her life yet.

The doctor nodded, pushing her glasses up as she assessed Valentine way to perceptively, "sounds like a time you don't like to talk about."

"No reason too. It's over and done with." Valentine growled rough clenched teeth. She wasn't ready for that conversation.

"You could say the same about what happened recently."

"You're right. Maybe this talking shit isn't for me." She muttered, glaring at the doctor. Denise only stared back causing Valentine to huff out an angry breath and look out the window. "Sanctuary isn't something I'm going to talk about."

"Alright." Denise responded but stayed silent as Valentine clenched the fabric of the chair's arm. Growling she continued, "Dwight... I knew him too. He was angry about his wife. After I left Sanctuary things got bad I guess.. Without Negan-."

Valentine stopped and shook her head as yet again she was led back to the man again, "Negan was a lot of things. A monster really but he kept the other animals at bay and after I... killed him." She forced the words out as she was choked with guilt. Valentine still struggling with her hand in killing of the man. "Without his control everyone went apeshit I guess. Sherry ended her life after what happened to her and Dwight blamed me."

"Do you blame yourself for her death?"

Shrugging Valentine replied, "I blame myself for a lot of shit."

"So he was getting revenge?" Denise asked, her voice softening, "was she raped?"

Nodding Valentine looked at her hands twisted in her lap, her fingers red from wringing them. "He uh... He wanted me to know what she went through."

Denise pursed her lips and seemed to struggle with her next words. It made Valentine's back stiffen as she waited for the intrusive question.

"How long did this go on?"

"No idea. I suffered a few head injuries. I... I don't even know how many-." She choked on the words and focused on the diagram of the human body pinned to the wall. She traced the lines of muscles and blinked through tears as she read the names of each of them.

Taking a slow deep breath Valentine rasped, "I think... I think it was 7 but... things got hazy and-and I'd wake up." Shaking her head roughly she then began to spew words with no control, "there'd be someone new and I wouldn't know when they got there and how many came in between. And it hurt. Hurt like nothing before. It was almost as bad at Negan's punishments but it was inside. It felt like fire and broken glass and nothing. Nothing. Stopped it. And-and the whole time he'd ask questions and tell me if I just talked it'd all stop but I couldn't. I couldn't tell them. I wouldn't so I just... I just lay there and I tried but there were so many fucking hands. Pushing and crushing and-and punching. Nothing-nothing stopped it."

Valentine sucked in a jagged breath, gulping at the air until she felt dizzy. She heard Denise speaking and watched her stand and approach but the panicked woman focused on the images flashing through her mind.

Bruising hands and snarled mouths. The oppressive humidity in the cramped basement, the smell of blood, piss and sweat. Her mouth flooded as nausea rolled through her, stomach cramping with sickness. Denise noticed her wide eyes and green pallor, shoving a trash can into her lap. Valentine's stomach heaved as the images and her panic had her retching violently.

"Easy." The other woman's voice broke through the rib bruising sobs wracking through Valentine. "In through your nose slowly. You're having a panic attack."

Nodding, she sucked in a deep breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth. She listened to Denise's directions and slowly things began to focus. Taking a few tissues offered, Valentine wiped her face and mouth. Mumbling an apology for the vomit, she felt her cheeks burn as she replayed the total destruction Denise had just witnessed.

"No need to apologize." Denise responded, sitting back down across from her. Valentine could barely look at the woman, choosing to focus on the tiny sliver of the outside world peeking through the slightly closed window blinds. It was raining heavily, the water speckling the glass and soaking the earth.

"I think you'd benefit from talking to me at least once a week." Denise informed quietly, pushing her glasses up her nose. Valentine glanced at her and rasped, "sure you can handle more because I've barely started."

She watched the doctor's throat bob nervously as she swallowed but she nodded regardless. "Yes."

"Aright." Valentine replied before heading out of the clinic. She met Michonne on the porch, the woman waiting for her to be done with her appointment.

"How'd it go?" she asked when Valentine exited the building.

"I cried like a baby and threw up in her trashcan so... great." Valentine replied dryly, with a wry grin. Michonne snorted, "sounds like it."

They walked slowly towards their home, the rain now a drizzle, both silent until Michonne asked, "you gonna go back?"

Pursing her lips Valentine nodded slowly, "yeah… I gotta try. For me but also for Daryl. I need to get better."

"And you will." Michonne replied, her eyes meeting hers. "You are."

 


	47. Chapter 47

"I was talking to Carl about you the other day." Denise mentioned while sitting down at her desk, the yellow legal pad of notes in front of her. She'd been here before, the women meeting quite a few times already. At first Valentine couldn't stand the sound of her pen scratching along, the sound signaling the permanency of all she said. It was intimidating but also cathartic, as if she were giving all of her past pain away.

Valentine's eyes narrowed at the statement though, she didn't want the doctor prying information out of her family. It was bad enough she had to relive things, she didn't want the others to have to also.

"Why?"

"He was here for a check up, which he's doing fine. He'll adjust to the loss easily." Denise said, pushing her glasses up, "Anyways, he kinda threatened me."

Smirking Valentine relaxed back into the chair, crossing her arms and asked, "how so?"

"Told me I better not be telling people the things you say. That you're important to him and if I hurt you, he'll hurt me." Denise explained, her eyes hesitant as if wondering if the teen was being serious.

Snorting Valentine warned teasingly, "well you better listen."

Denise smiled nervously and nodded, "I'll do my best... He also told me about how you met. How you saved his life several times over. Saved his family." A memory flashed through her mind, Carl fighting off walkers surrounding him as he stood atop a truck, abandoned by Negan's men.

Valentine uncrossed her arms, her fingers tapped nervously on the armchair as she muttered, "that was forever ago."

"So?"

"So it's just..." Valentine paused and rolled her shoulders lazily, "They've done more for me than I could ever payback."

"How so?"

Shrugging again, Valentine picked at her nails a moment before she answered, her eyes on the window. "When they showed up in Sanctuary, I was nothing but a husk. Negan..." She choked on the name, her eyes burning with acidic tears. "He took everything from me. Killed all the good parts of me and all I had left was rage. I felt nothing more and nothing less than pain, anger and sorrow. Looking over to the doctor Valentine continued, "but then there was Carl and Rick. Daryl and Michonne. It was different... It was more. I couldn't accept it for a long time, didn't think I deserved to have it again."

"Have what?"

"Family. Paul and Michael died trying to save me, they were dead because of me. I didn't think I deserved loved ones and thought if I did, they'd be cursed. That everyone would always die. But Carl was so similar to my son and Rick was like a brother I never had. Michonne became my sounding board and confidante... And Daryl, well he..." She paused, her lips twitching into a smile as she looked down shyly, "He's all I could want. I love him and I never thought I'd feel that again."

Denise smiled softly and tapped her pen on the pad of paper, "do you think you have to pay them back for just being in your life?"

"They aren't just in my life, they are my life. I was nothing until we escaped that place. A shadow of a human barely holding onto her sanity. I may have helped keep them alive but they saved me."

* * *

 

"He's handsome." Valentine commented as she watched Carl brush the silky mane of the black stallion. Carl snorted, "he's a horse."

"Still." Valentine quipped with a eays smile, her arms resting on the wood fence.

"Whatever." Carl huffed with a slight smirk turning his bandaged face away, "I'm just happy Eugene got him in that garage."

"Good thinking on his part I suppose." Valentine replied, sliding in between the split rail to join the teen. The horse nickered, his hoofs kicking up dirt as she approached. "Shhhh." She hushed, "that's it Handsome." Smoothing her hand along the horses flank, Valentine smiled as the large beast settled down.

"He likes you." Carl commented quietly, his remaining blue eye meeting her amused gaze. She looked over his bandage and asked, "how're you feeling?"

"Eh. Fine…" He muttered, rolling his shoulder heavily. "Like a gimp."

"You aren't a gimp."

"Whatever. I'm disabled now." He complained, "I don't even know if I'll be a able to shoot now."

"You will."

"How do you know?" He whispered, his voice cautious and eye crinkle with stress.

"Because I know you. You're strong and you'll adapt." Valentine assured, squeezing his shoulder. "Besides even if you can't I will still train you with my blades."

"Really?" He asked, his tone innocent and heart aching. Smiling at him she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his temple. "Of course. Soon as Denise okays you for physical activity."

"I'm gonna go ask her." He exclaimed, handing Valentine the brush before rushing out of the corral. Smirking Valentine looked up at the dark horse, it's large eyes watching her warily. "Well. I guess I'm brushing you down." She remarked, moving the large brush down his shoulder and side. "Now I've never done this so tell me if I'm doin' something wrong."

A voice from behind her said, "I'm not sure if he talks but I'm sure a swift kick might be an answer."

Turning around she saw Aaron leaning against the fence smiling, dimples showing and eyes friendly. Her lips curled on one side and she remarked, "I suppose so."

Climbing through the fence Aaron joined Valentine, the man carding his fingers through Buttons mane. "He's beautiful. It's amazing how he was probably tamed and cared for, ridden by a family, maybe even kids but he adapted to the wild."

"He's a survivor. He could probably walk out those gates and be just fine." She remarked, the brush soothing her as well as the horse. Valentine had never dealt with horses or any other animal beside a dog she had as a kid so she wasn't sure if the connection she was feeling was abnormal or not. Standing there next to the giant beast, it's large back, muscular and lean, Valentine felt a deep camaraderie. There was a frenetic energy between the two, a growing kinship. His eyes met hers as he nudged her hand before bowing his giant head in consent. Smirking slightly she murmured, "A'right A'right. I'll pet you."

Massaging the long bridge of Buttons nose, Valentine's eyes met Aaron's over the curved shoulder blade.

"You two have something in common. Being able to walk out and survive, no matter what." He replied, a small smile gracing his lips. "Even so, you're both better in here."

"How's that? Out there he could run and be wild. Free. Away from all of us hassling him." She offered, her eyes betraying the hidden meaning behind her words.

"Because in here he's actually freer. He's got us to help take care of things. Out there he probably never got to relax, enjoy living. In here he gets to be his old self." Aaron spoke his eyes looking at Buttons much to Valentine's relief. She knew, that he knew what she was truly meaning but the man was kind enough to play along.

"Besides if by hassle you mean cared for and loved, sign me up." He grin was playful and he added, "Eric is cooking spaghetti tonight. Daryl's already on our porch like a stray cat. You coming?"

Laughing breathily she nodded, "yeah. Yeah I'm coming."

* * *

 

The majority of the group had been discussing the manufacturing ammunition as well as other weapons and equipment. Ammo was a finite resource unless they began exploring their options of manufacturing. There was also discussion about the recent failure of most of their crops. They needed to begin propagating their own food because like ammunition, eventually there would be no more places to scavenge. Maggie had farming experience but her knowledge could only go so far. In order to generate a thriving food source they need more than a few seed packets, they need better soil, fertilizer and pest maintenance solutions. Eugene had created a detailed survey of the property and began drawing out plans for the most efficient way to lay out crops. Valentine held the sheets of paper as the others kept speaking. The paper featured a birds eye view of the safe zone, each open area was used for food growth. The list of what plants should be planted and in which cycles to create the most procreative soil mineral mixture. He accounted for the sun exposure and wind draft, placing the exact plant in the exact spot. Glancing up she watched him lean against the wall next to Rosita, his mullet combed yet still wild. Smirking she handed the paperwork to Maggie who muttered, "He does know stuff doesn't he."

Snorting, Valentine drawled in an impersonation of the quirky man, "I believe you mean he is a variable cornucopia of knowledge and know-how."

Maggie's bark of laughter caught everyone's attention, Glenn cocking an eyebrow at the two women. Biting her lip Valentine looked down as the groug continued to discuss the place they could look for the supplies. It would all take supplies and know how, which the group was looking to Eugene, Maggie and the supply teams for. If the scavengers could find the correct materials Eugene had a rough idea of how to complete their goals, both with the machinery and the garden.

Eugene spoke up as Rick asked what exactly they would need, "I mapped out some of the agricultural supply places in the area. Even if they've been cleaned out, my bet is that the sorghum would be untouched."

Most looked around unsure what sorghum was nor why it was important. Eugene scanned over their faces and drawled, "Now, that there is a criminally underrated grain that could change the game with our food situation from scary to hunky-dunky."

The silence continued as he shuffled his feet and muttered, "I'm talking standability, drought tolerance, grain-to-stover ratio that is the envy of all corns. All that plus the fuel source that it could eventually be once our fossil fuels dry up." Nodding his head once, Eugene laid the hand drawn map on the table and drawled, "Think about it."

As she looked over the map Eugene drew she cleared her throat, catching Rick's attention.

Rick cocked an eyebrow and he asked, "Got an idea?"

Crossing her arms she muttered, "I know the area. It's probably cleared out by a community."

Everyone looked at her strangely but she ignored them, choosing to look over the map. The locations of every supply run and known shelters were drawn across it. Sanctuary was written in red, the area around it named a red zone despite Felix's claims of it no longer standing. On the outer edge of it sat a community Negan used to raid frequently. It was never an option for them when they were running, it was too close to the enemy but now? Now it might not be so off limits. Now it might be the answer to their problems.

"Here." She pointed to the agricultural area that held the community called Hilltop. "There's a settlement, well there was at least at one time."

"Why didn't you bring this up when we had nowhere to lie our heads?" Abraham growled, his eyes angry, "we were out there starving and ya did nothin?"

"We couldn't go there. It was too close to the Saviors and Sanctuary."

"And it's not now?" Heath asked from the left, his arms crossed tightly. They were still on the outs, the man not agreeing with the handling of the men killed but no longer demanding her expulsion from the safe zone. It was a tenuous stalemate.

"Felix told us Sanctuary was overrun." Rick supplied, bracing his hands on the table as he looked over the area of the community.

"You mean after you tortured him?" Heath muttered under his breath.

"Shut your fuckin' mouth." Daryl barked, his eyes blazing and fists balled as he moved towards the snippy man.

"A'right. A'right." Rick drawled, put up a hand between the men. "Le's get back on track here. What is this place?"

"They call it Hilltop. They had probably forty or so members at one point. I don't know their numbers now or if it's even still standing. They had crops and the farmers to tend them."

"Would they be willing to trade, ammo for food?" Rick asked, his hands resting on his hips and his head cocked to the side as he calculated their next move.

"Why do we need to trade with them if we're going to grow our own?" Glenn asked, his shoulder leaning against the wall next to Maggie.

"We will grow our own but it's going to take time. We'll starve if we don't find a steady source until then."

Rick moved his eyes back to Valentine as she shrugged and drawled, "Depends. They used to provide Sanctuary with all its fresh produce but it wasn't like they had a choice. I'm not sure how open they are to outsiders after dealing with the Saviors."

The group discussed all the options and threw out ideas on how to go about approaching the group. Aaron provided a plan of observation with their listening equipment and a slow introduction to prevent any confrontation. It would be a long trip of waiting before accomplishing anything.

"We'll take a team, Daryl and Valentine." Rick started but Valentine interrupted.

"As much as I'd like to, it'll be better if I don't." she spoke hesitantly, her eyes flicking to Daryl's before Rick's. She would have to confess to the actions she once committed while working with Negan. There were things Valentine did all the time ago that would weigh her down for all time, things that she would die regretting.

"Why's that Sunshine?" Abraham asked, his brow furrowed as he drew out a route to Hilltop.

"Last time I was there I was standing next to Negan. He murdered one of their members, just a kid really about sixteen." She explained, her eyes distant and posture tense. "There was a bit of an uprising after that."

"Do you blame them?" Heath sneered, the man unable to keep from throwing out attitude.

"No I don't." Valentine snapped back, her teeth clenched "You think I wanted to be there? Huh? Be fucking thankful you've never been held against your will asshole!"

"A'right, A'right stop." Rick hollered, motioning for her to continue.

The woman sighed heavily and rested her hip against the table edge. "After that their camp attacked and I ended up killing two of them while protecting myself and Negan." She admitted, her eyes troubled, "I'll be a detriment if I go. They might even just shoot us dead if I show up on their doorstep. I can't go."

The room was silent for a moment before Rick tried another plan of action, "A'right, Daryl, Abraham, Glenn, Maggie."

"Maggie can't go." Glenn spoke out, his hand rising as Maggie began to argue. "She isn't going."

"Wanna share why?" Daryl asked gruffly, "She's got the people skills we need to talk to these folks."

"She isn't going..." Glenn insisted before admitting, "She's pregnant."

Maggie slapped his shoulder but smiled, her dimples showing. Valentine smirked but couldn't help but worry for the woman. Childbirth wasn't easy or fun in the old world, their group knew firsthand how wrong it could go nowadays. Judith was proof of the brutality of bringing a new life into the world.

"Congratulations, both of ya." Rick drawled, his hand gripping Glenn's shoulder before pulling him into a hug. Michonne hugged Maggie while the others shook Glenn's hand.

"Ok, no Maggie." Rick drawled after the group grew quiet again, his eyes going to Valentine for a suggestion. Rolling one shoulder she suggested, "Beth has just as good people skills and isn't threatening.

Maggie instantly disagreed with the suggestion, "No she ain't ready for that."

"She is more than ready."

"I gotta agree with Maggie," Abraham drawled, "no offense but Goldilocks weighs a buck ten maybe. I won't be trustin' her to cover my giant lily white ass on no secret ops."

"Size has nothing to do with this. She's trained in hand to hand as well as weapons. She can track and is quiet as a damn church mouse." Valentine detailed, "all of that but most of all it gets them to put their guard down."

"So you're just gonna use my sister as some pretty bait." Maggie huffed, her arms tightly crossed and eyebrow cocked.

"No we're going to show them that women aren't objectified or chained up in basements at our camp. That everyone's an equal. That we aren't the Saviors." Valentine insisted, "she's ready Rick."

Rick nodded slowly, rubbing his mouth before he rasped, "A'right. If she wants to join us, Beth's in. Anyone else?"

Aaron raised his hand, "I'll go. I have experience to meet and greet also."

"Good. So Me, Daryl, Glenn, Michonne, Abraham, Beth and Aaron. Valentine and Maggie, you're in charge while I'm gone."

Nodding she ignored the huffs from across the room and assured, "We'll be fine."

The meeting broke up, most leaving to go about their tasks while Rick, Glenn, Abraham, Daryl and Valentine discussed Hilltop.

"They had a 20 foot tall fence line, all milled pine trees dug into the earth. Lookouts, here, here and here. Double gates opening inward." She detailed, drawing out the large property on a sheet of paper. "Inside there were crops on this side and workshops on the east. Their living quarters were trailers, all lined up here and up on the hill was the plantation. The place was a museum of some sort and was converts into living quarters."

"What about their leader?" Rick rasped, his head cocked to the side as Valentine snorted.

"He's a chauvinistic asshole. Weak. He'd sell his people out if threatened with a pointy stick. He bent to Negan's every whim as long as he still benefited. He's give up rations of his group but keep himself comfy in his mansion."

Abraham crossed his thick arms and muttered, "Don't sound like someone we'd wanna trade with."

"They got what we need, food and experience growing it." Rick answered, scratching his chin while looking at Valentine thoughtfully.

"They used too, we don't know that now. Is it worth risking it?" Glenn prompted.

Daryl rasped, "That's why it's called riskin' it."

The group became silent, Rick nodded a few times and began detailing the instruction for the trip. He planned out the gear they'd need and discussed what they should bring in trade. A run to a nearby farming community for their own crops as well as looking for pantry staples they couldn't grow. The plan was to bring an assortment of supplies as well as promises of ammunition rations to Hilltop as bargaining chips.

* * *

The run to a farmland that provided seed and fertilizer to the old world was the goal of the scavenge team as well as the homes surrounding it. Glenn and Daryl were directing two teams consisting of Valentine, Abraham, Sasha, Michonne and Aaron. Daryl sat in the passenger seat as Abraham drove the large truck, his hand laying on the wheel as he smoothed his mustache down.

"So there we were, scraping our sacks in the sandbox. Open targets in the dunes. All of us sweating and swearing. Sure as hell beat sitting on our asses 30 clicks to nowhere waiting for our humpbacked friend to defecate the keys to our transport.

Sasha laughed dryly and muttered, "Camels don't eat keys.

Laughing loudly Abraham drawled, "They do, it did. And it shit it out. I shit you not.

"You're an idiot." She deadpanned with a smirk, leaning back into the seat while looking out the window with amused eyes.

"I've never denied it." He replied with a shit-eating grin, the man eyeing Sasha's profile affectionately. Valentine cocked an eyebrow at Daryl, both noticing the flirtatiousness of the pair in the front seat.

"Interesting." Valentine murmured under her breath, shifting her eyes to the scenery. Daryl frowned and muttered, "This is gonna get messy."

"Turn up here." Glenn instructed from the seat next to Daryl. "That road leads to the first of the farms and the feed store."

Both vehicles pulled over underneath a large elm tree, the group's grabbing their gear for the trip. Climbing out of the truck Daryl pulled his bow out of the truck bed and handed Valentine a pack for supplies. "Stick with me." He rasped, ticking his head to the building in the distance, "don't know what we're headin' for and I want ya nearby."

Nodding once she pulled out one blade while resting her other on the handle of her gun. They made their way to the overgrown feed store, it's large hanger filled with moldy hay. The smell of rotting feed caused Valentine to grimace, pulling up a bandana over her mouth. Daryl smirked and teased, "got a sensitive stomach Sally?"

"Fuck off." She grunted with a hidden grin, her eyes crinkled. "Smartass."

The group slowly entered the overhang, their bodies low and ready for threats. Pounding a few times on the glass door, Daryl peered into the dark warehouse type building. He could see shadows moving within it and shelves of countless supplies.

"This my friend looks like the pot at the end of a rainbow." Abraham drawled while cupping his eyes against the window. "We're gonna need a bigger truck."

"Let's clear it. Get a catalog of what's inside and prioritize what we should take now." Glenn detailed, pulling out his knife to tap on the glass. "We take everything we can't live without, leave the rest for later."

The others nodded collectively and waited as the walkers inside slammed against the glass. Daryl frowned as a rotten face smeared black blood along the window in front of her. It's eyes were sunken in and teeth broken, a gaping wound circled its neck. The one next to it had a similar wound on its neck as well as a knife protruding from its chest.

"People did this." He remarked, pointing out the wounds of the few pressed against the glass. "Slit throats and stab wounds."

Grunting Abraham drawled, "Been awhile though. These folks look rather dried out."

"Wonderful." Michonne deadpanned, "we doin' this?"

"Yep." Glenn answered, counting down before prying the door open to let out the dead. Bracing it with his boot, the man let one out at a time allowing the group to take care of them without being overrun. Once the dead were truly dead, the group cleared the corpses and entered the cavernous structure. Daryl wandered inside, Valentine close on his heels with her blade out. They moved quietly, the woman behind him taking direction with mere gestures. Beyond them were giant shelving units that went to the tall ceiling. Stacks of grain, seed and fertilizer were still present as well as animal feed.

"We should take the feed to Hilltop." Valentine murmured, her eyes flicking to Daryls. "They have the animals. Might encourage them to share a couple."

Smirking, Daryl rasped, "more than a pretty face sweetheart." He grinned wider as her cheeks blushed.

"Shuddup." She muttered while pulling her bandana down with swift tug. "Keep movin' Dixon. Ain't got all day."

* * *

 

Mack's Grain and Feed stuffed both of their vehicles as well as a flatbed trailer they hooked up to the truck. A third vehicle was gassed up to haul back the supplies Glenn's team found at the nearby ranches. Valentine sat next to Daryl her leg cramped and painful. Grunting she adjusted her ankle but nothing relieved the ache. Touching her elbow, Daryl grunted, "ya a'right?"

Nodding she smiled wanly, "just old."

"Pfft." He scoffed, his narrowed eyes scanning her before teasing, "don't look a day over 18 darlin'."

Valentine barked out a laugh and flirted back, "sweet talkin' Dixon."

Winking at her Daryl pressed his thigh against hers, a discrete gesture of affection. Smiling at him, Valentine leaned her temple against his large shoulder, the manual labor of the day catching up with her.

* * *

 

Valentine lay on her side while Daryl sat next to her, her calf laying across his lap as he rubbed the knots out. His gentle fingers massaging the aching muscle while she moaned. Chewing her lip she peered at him under her lashes as a slow heat began to warm her core and curl her toes. 'Fuck, I want him,' she gasped inwardly, her heart thudding hard behind her ribs. It was the first time since everything happened that she had desired him for more than comfort. Valentine wanted him to move his deft digits much higher and way deeper.

"Dare." She breathed, her eyes drilled into his wide ones. Swallowing thickly, his throat bobbed before rasped, "ya a'right?"

"Yeah." She replied, her mouth dry, her voice hoarse. "Very."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Slowly his hands began moving upwards, his fingers rubbing a tantalizing path up her leg. His lip was chewed between his teeth as he watched her so intently her cheeks burned shyly. Valentine rolled to her back causing him to let go of her leg, his hands resting beside her hips now. He twisted slightly, his body hovering over her cautiously. "Still ok?"

"Mmhmm. C'mere." She murmured, curling her finger towards her. Daryl smirked, crawling over her to lay down beside her. It made her want to sigh with frustration that he knew she would feel anxious if he boxed her in but she was also thankful for his considerate gesture.

Valentine took his hand and placed in on her hip. "touch me." She whispered. "Please."

His breath caught at the plea causing him to freeze a moment before his hand squeezed her hip tightly. With shallow pants Valentine stared with parted lips, her fingers reaching out to stroke his rough jaw. The flushed man's eyes slide shut a look of pure bliss softening his tense face at just the barest of affectionate gestures. It made her chest ache with not only longing but guilt. He had been denied that type of affection for months and hadn't once complained.

"M'sorry." She whispered, her eyes wide and honest. Shaking his head, Daryl rasped, "ain't nothin' to apologize for."

"Still."

"Stop." He drawled, his hand sliding up her waist, his thumb tracing the sliver of skin exposed above her waist line. "Ok?"

"Mmmhmm." She hummed and encouraged him, "I'll tell you if it's too much."

Daryl grunted in reply, his body scooting closer as his hand slide underneath her shirt to cup her ribs, his thumb resting below her breast. Biting her lip she sucked in a sharp breathe as he asked hoarsely, "can I kiss ya?"

"Please." She begged, her fingers curling into his tshirt and her head rising off the bed to meet his lowering mouth. His lips were hesitant and gentle but after a few whimpers and Valentine's tongue sweeping across the seam of his lips had the man groaning. They moved easily together, the time spent apart not effecting their ease.

"Fuck. Missed ya so much darlin'." He rasped, his mouth brushing across her jaw to her neck. She felt him trace the scar wrapping her neck with soft kisses and licks. Valentine moaned deeply at his open mouthed kiss behind her ear and rolled her hips into his when he sucked on her ear lobe.

"Dare. Missed you too."

"Ya sure you're ok?"

Valentine's hands slid up his shirt, her fingers tracing the course hair leading down his stomach and the sharp angles of his hip bones. "Yeah just... Go slow?"

"Whatever you need from me sweetheart." He drawled, his hands roaming over her body, massaging and stroking softly. He kissed her deeply, his hand curling into her hair and holding her hip. Valentine was gasping for air as he travelled down her neck, wet hot kisses led down the curve to the exposed collarbone. His tongue traced the scar stretched across the tan skin, his fingers dug into the curve of her ass. With clumsy hands Valentine removed his shirt, the man groaning as she smoothed her hands over his chest and down his ribs. Her mouth was licking and biting the thick cord of muscle stretching across his broad shoulders. His breath caught in his throat when she murmured, "take off my clothes."

After sitting up his trembling fingers began pulling off her shirt and unbuckling her pants. His eyes never left her face, the intense stare caused a slow but roaring heat to pool in her belly. She clenched her thighs together and felt a chill run up her spine. Once in panties and a thin cotton bra, which did nothing to hide the stiff peaks below its worn fabric, Valentine squirmed in anticipation. As he saw that she was not changing her mind and far from fearful his eyes roamed over her lithe frame. She felt self conscious of the new scars and the sharper angles of her body. The lean winter had been hard on all of them and Valentine was all skin, bones and muscle.

"I gotta feed ya more sweetheart." He rasped against her stomach, his mouth kissing along the curve of her hip. Valentine peered down at him and moaned as his tongue dipped into her belly button. She curled her fingers into his shaggy hair and arched into his hot mouth.

"Fuck." She moaned through clenched teeth as his fingers traced the thin fabric between her legs, the curling action making her thighs drop open. Daryl hissed a sharp breath through his teeth at the sound of her whimpering and rolling her hips into his hand.

"Jesus. So fuckin' wet." He rasped into her neck as his hand snuck under her panties to swipe through the wet folds, pulling the scrap of fabric to the side. Valentine bite her lip to contain the sob of pleasure at the feel of his warm fingers.

"Lookit me." He ordered hoarsely, "I wanna watch you cum."

With hooded eyes Valentine curled her hips up to meet this hand as his digits sunk deeply into her. "Oh god." She moaned, her nails bitting into his shoulder and bicep, "fuck. Dare."

"Yeah darlin' feel good?" He hummed, his hand moving smoothly inside and against her body.

"Yes. Fuck yes."

"Good." He moaned as her tight walls clenched at the curling fingers sinking hard and faster. Before she could blink Daryl slid down the bed, his fingers deep and mouth encompassing. A gasping moan crawled out of her throat as he trailed his tongue along her lips until attaching the warm heat to her clit. Too soon her orgasm was barreling towards her, causing her thighs to tremble and stomach to clench.

"Fuck that's it's sweetheart. Fuck. Cum for me."

The tension in her writhing form finally snapped at his demanding words. A sharp gasp and deep moan filled the room as she rolled against his warm body, fists clawing the sheets below. Valentine's eyes flickered closed but snapped open as Daryl growled, "lookit me darlin."

Peering down at Daryl she watched him tongue her inner thigh, a smile curling his lips. "Good?" He rasped, his teeth nipping a gentle path up her thigh and stomach before hovering over her. His forearms framed her head as he kept his weight from pressing her too firmly into the bed. Valentine could tell he was being cautious and respectful of her space but wanted him to be normal with her, she didn't want to be handled with kid gloves. Valentine wanted to be a normal woman.

Pulling on his belt she murmured, "you should probably take these off."

"Yeah?" He panted, his cheek and neck flushed "ya sure sweetheart 'cause we don't gotta."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Nodding once Daryl sat up, slowly unbuckling his belt and pants. His gaze was unwavering as she watched his skin slowly appear. Licking her lip, Valentine bit it as she took in the sight of him hard and weeping for her. The dark cotton boxers showing off the swollen head, wet with need.

"Fuck darlin'. Ya keep lookin' at me like that." He growled, clenching his eyes shut for a second before peering down at her "m'gonna lose it."

"Good." She whimpered as his rough hands slid up her thighs to yank her panties down while she arched off the bed, swiftly removing her bra.

Soon he was gliding along her trembling frame, her legs wrapping his waist as he ground his hips into hers. "Fuck." Valentine grunted, as he rolled hard and unrelenting in between her legs. His skin was hot and smooth as he slid between the wet folds and swollen lips.

"Girl." Daryl moaned, tucking his face against her sweaty neck, his tongue licking a delicious path up the tensing cords of muscles. "Wanna treat you so good Val. Wanna make everything ok and… Want ya t'enjoy me touchin' ya so much."

"I'm enjoying myself Dare. Can't you feel how much?" She murmured, rolling her hips to let him feel just how wet she was. Moaning into his neck Valentine sucked the tan skin along his shoulder, nipping and licking a line up to his ear. Whispering, "feel me baby? Feel how wet you make me?"

"Yeah." Daryl gasped, his fingers curling into the meaty flesh of her ass as he yanked her leg higher to grind harder. Slowly his cock slid at just the right angle to press into her aching walls. With short controlled thrusts Daryl made his way inside her. Plunging into her slowly, the man panted while pressing his forehead against hers, sweat dripping from his temples as he controlled himself with extreme caution.

"M'ok Daryl. Please"

"Whatcha need sweetheart. Tell me."

"More. I'm ok. Promise."

Nodding against her forehead Daryl sat up onto his heels and moved his hands to her spread thighs. She watched him gaze down to where they were connected, his chest rising quicker and shallower as he thrust harder into her wet entrance.

"Fuck." He gritted out as his body began to take over, fingers curling into her overheated skin while plunging quicker and faster. Pulling her against him, Daryl rocking into her with aching precision and strength.

"Yes." She moaned as he hit the deep throbbing spot inside her. Snarling at the feeling of her muscles gripping him tightly at every thrust Daryl demanded, "ya cum again darlin'. Ya cum on my cock Val then I'm gonna fill ya up."

"Yeah." She moaned, her head thrown back as heat built in between her legs and deep in her gut. "M'gonna. Fuck. I… I."

"Yeah. Yeah. That's it baby." He moaned, his hips moving so quickly the bed creaked and hit the wall with a dull thud. "Good girl. C'mon. That's it."

"F-fuck." She gasped, all wide eyed and parted lips. She kept her surprised gaze on him as the tight coil he had wound up in her belly snapped, her hips rolling erratically against his still plunging cock.

"Yeah. Yeah. Yes." He groaned, his hands grabbing her hips as he plunged as deep as he could with wild abandon. She felt warmth flood her as the swelling head throbbed and pulsed inside her. Gasping with flickering eyes Daryl collapsed forward, his forehead pressed into her sternum as he licked and kissed the beads of sweat from her skin. Raking her blunt nails through his hair, Valentine held him against her chest while murmuring, "so good Dare. So good."

Nuzzling into her naked chest, Daryl's hands glided up her ribs until he rose to his elbows. Pressing his forehead against her, he whispered, "ya ok? I hurt ya?"

"No. You'd never hurt me Daryl. I know that."

"Good." He rasped, kissing her mouth slowly and thoroughly. Wet tongues and sucking lips. They moaned and caressed each other, feeling the over heated skin they'd both been deprived of since everything started.

"Love ya Valentine. So much." He whispered, his blue eyes flitting away when she kept her gaze focused on him. Touching his scruffy chin, Valentine brought his nervous eyes back to hers. "I love you Daryl."

 


	48. Chapter 48

Daryl rode his motorcycle alongside the others as they travelled to Hilltop. He was thrumming with anxiety about the upcoming mission. They were going to watch from a distance but there was a high probability of them being discovered. If there were patrols or scouts in the forest, the group could be walking into a trap. Rick and Aaron were both fairly certain that they could work something out with the community. They'd been discussing strategies for every single response this Gregory could have. He sounded like a slime ball to Daryl but luckily they wouldn't need him to step in. His job was to stand back and observe, protect and kill if needed.

Daryl wished for the dozenth time that Valentine were with him, wrapped around his chest and stomach. They'd reconnected fully now, their last few nights spent exploring each other again. Daryl had been surprised by her responses to his touch, a weight lifted from his shoulders that he'd already become accustomed to carrying. Every moment he got to be close to her, inside her, was the best moment of his life. She was healing and Daryl couldn't help but feel like he was too.

After her kidnapping and her eventual return, he'd been filled with guilt and rage. Most days had been spent reliving the moment he found her beaten and bloodied in that truck. He'd think about when he found out she'd been assaulted or hear an echo of her broken sobs when she woke from the constant nightmares. Even worse, the times when he found himself thinking of that basement facing just one of her many assaulters and the blood stains that spread across the floor.

His days weren't filled with that garbage anymore though, he'd wake to blonde hair in his face and soft murmurs of contentment. In the afternoons they patrolled or hunted, worked the walls or went on runs. They worked together and without any tension. At night he slept in a comfortable bed, Valentine wrapped around him, all soft skin and sweet breathes. He was happy. So much so that he feared Hilltop would be some kind of catalyst to its destruction.

But they needed food and canned goods were no longer easily found, nor were they any good. If Alexandria wanted to stay living, they need stable food sources.

The fork in the road was the point they would now travel by foot, stealthily and cautiously. Daryl signaled Rick and pulled off into the woods. They found a small clearing with one solid wall of shrubs blocking their vehicles from the road. Kicking down the stand, Daryl parked his bike next to the pickup truck.

"A'right." Rick drawled, his eyes scanning over the group. "We do this quiet and careful. No unnecessary risks. Aaron's going to use he equipment, we'll see what we see."

Daryl and Rick took lead while the others trailed behind. With narrowed eyes he scouted the ground for tracks or other signs of recent activity. The ground was muddy, the area having received quite a bit of rain the evening before. Daryl's boots slid and sunk into the slick mud, the man grunting with annoyance. A chuckle from Rick had Daryl glaring back, growling, "shuddup Grimes."

Rick scratched his curled lip while his amused eyes had Daryl rolling his in return.

They hiked quietly for a moment before Rick mentioned, "Val seemed good this mornin'."

Rolling a shoulder, Daryl rasped, "she is."

"You seem good too." Rick replied, his lips twitching slightly under his beard.

"Ya gettin' at somethin' man or ya just listenin' to ya'self speak?" He grunted, his eyes flicking to the group behind them, feeling embarrassed.

"It's good to see, that's all." Rick drawled, bumping his elbow into Daryl's side. "Real good."

"Hm." Daryl grunted, shrugging again as his neck flushed, "Yeah... We're real good."

* * *

 

The fences were still up and the details Valentine provided were spot on. It seemed as though they added more security measures since her last visit. Rick lay prone next to Daryl and Aaron, all three sharing a pair of binoculars and passing the listening equipment around. While listening Daryl heard a conversation about the crop output. The community seemed flush, their gardens providing them with bounties. Rick cocked an eyebrow while listening to two scouts discussing the new expansion they had to watch. The place was thriving and growing, if Alexandria could develop a trade route with Hilltop they might not all starve to death.

Aaron spoke low, his brow furrowed, "I can approach solo. I'm used to introducing myself to strangers."

"Nah. Ya ain't goin' it alone." Daryl drawled, "m'gonna go with ya."

Rick scrubbed his beard and he instructed, "I'm goin' with and Daryl you're watchin' our backs. Everybody else is gonna hang back."

"Rick."

"I'm goin'." He interrupted Daryl's objections. Growling under his breath Daryl gave him a resigned nod and motioned for them to head out. He glanced at Michonne, Glenn, Abraham and Beth as he passed and rasped, "keep an eye out."

"Will do Dixon." Abraham drawled, "give us holler if ya need us."

* * *

 

Aaron approached the gates, his hands up and voice loudly announcing himself. The guards perched on the large wall pointed rifles at them, their shouts to halt causing both Aaron and Rick to stop. Daryl watched from the tree line, his arms cradling an assault rifle for the day, his bow strapped to his back.

He listened to the men shout back and forth before hearing the crack of a few twigs. Twisting around he found Michonne, Glenn, Abraham and Beth being escorted by three men and one woman.

"Drop it." The largest of the group ordered, pressing a hand gun to Michonne's head. Growling under his breath he laid his weapon down before tossing his knife and bow to the ground. The group was marched out of the tree line and towards the now kneeling forms of Aaron and Rick. Daryl grunted as the man leading him shoved him forward with a gruff jeer, "move it redneck."

"Fuck off." He snarled but followed the orders. They were all kneeling when the large doors opened and two more men exited. The first was a short, lean man, his long hair pinned down by a thick beanie. His beard was long but well kept, his blue eyes calculating. The second man was dark complexion, his eyebrows thick and beard more so. The pair sauntered up to Rick and Aaron, both gazing over the group.

"Who are you?" The shorter guy demanded, his arms crossed and feet wide.

"My names Aaron. This is Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Glenn, Abraham and Beth. What're your names?"

"What're you doing here?" The other man questioned, ignoring Aaron's question.

Rick rasped, "we're from a settlement. We're looking for others to trade with."

The other men were quietly staring at them before they stepped away, their eyes not leaving while they whispered to each other.

"What settlement?"

Aaron cleared his throat, "we'd prefer to keep that to ourselves until we know a little more about you."

"I'm Paul. My friends call me Jesus." The shorter man introduced himself. Daryl snorted loudly at the nickname causing the man guarding him to shove him forward. "Shut you mouth redneck."

"Easy Matt." Jesus commented, his chin tipping to the others. "This is Ray, David, Rachel and Keith."

Aaron gave them a friendly smile, "nice to meet you all. Like we said, we aren't looking for any trouble. We want to open up some trade routes, exchange goods and services if you will."

The man standing next to Jesus, who he'd introduced as Keith, narrowed his eyes and asked, "what makes you think we need what you're offering?"

"We don't know if ya got what we need neither." Rick drawled, "but we gotta start somewhere."

Jesus stared at Rick for a long quiet moment before stepping forward, his hand out, "Nice to meet you Rick."

* * *

 

The group returned to the vehicle packed with supplies, their offered trade in good faith. As they pulled up, the giant gates opened, a scene from a pioneer movie came into frame. Daryl eyed the crops being tended to and the shacks fills with the sound of wood working and metal forging. Rick's surprised gaze landed on Daryl, both men astonished the place was still going strong. Daryl couldn't help but feel a pulse of hope run through him, if these people could do it, Alexandria had to be able to do it also.

They parked next to the large building Valentine told them was a museum turned barracks. A few people exited, one woman carried a baby while another child held onto her pant leg. Many were leery of the strangers, some holding weapons.

"Easy everybody." Keith hollered, his hands up. "They're unarmed. Go about your business. I want a few more eyes on the walls, Matt."

"How about we get some of your friends here food while we talk business?" Keith offered, is eyes going to Rick and Aaron. Daryl ground his teeth at the idea of letting Rick and Aaron out of his eye sight.

"Daryl's with us." Rick stated before added quietly for just them, "Abraham take care of everybody out here."

"You got it Chief."

Jesus motioned for them to head indoors, the smaller group entering a lavish hall turned living quarters. The ornate walls were covered in maps and supply list, gear and supplies stacked along the Persian rugs.

Daryl took everything in as they were led further into the building to an office. Looking around he saw more maps and blueprints, as well as a full model of the Hilltop settlement. Keith put a few rolled maps away before addressing them.

"How did you hear about us?"

Aaron looked to Rick who replied, "we'd heard rumors of a place near here. Came to scout it out and found ya."

"Rumors from whom?" Jesus asked, his arms crossed as he leaned against the desk. Rick rolled his shoulder slightly, "a few folks passing through. Are you both in charge?"

"You seem like you're expecting someone else." Keith mentioned, sitting down behind he desk, his fingers tapping on the table top.

"They mentioned a Gregory."

Jesus's eyes tightened before he replied, "Gregory was killed a few seasons ago by marauders… I'm curious, who informed you about us?"

"Like I said. Passing through." Rick drawled, his elbow resting on the arm of the chair, his thumb twisting his wedding ring.

The room was silent for a long moment before Aaron spoke. "You all look like you're thriving and maybe you don't need anything but we would like to open up communications in the very least."

Jesus nodded along and uncrossed his arms, his hands holding the edge of the desk. "I think before we establish any kind of trade I would like to visit your community."

"Jesus." Keith spoke cautiously, "a word."

The two spoke quietly, Keith sounding upset by Jesus's request while the man himself seemed relaxed. Daryl could tell he didn't seem stressed or intimidated about going to a foreign camp. 'Guy's got balls.' Daryl thought wryly.

"We would be happy to bring you along, show you our community." Aaron offered after Rick and he had a silent conversation. Daryl shifted uncomfortably, this wasn't something he really wanted to be involved in. He never saw himself as a leader but if he were honest, the fact that Rick and Aaron wanted him there gave him some bravery.

"If ya come back with us, y'all would see were just folks like y'all. Just survivin' another day and lookin' to survive tomorrah." He drawled, feeling his neck heat from everyone's eyes. Rick smirked at him which made Daryl roll his eyes and chew his lip.

"Daryl's right." Aaron spoke up with a tiny grin of his own. "We really are just another community looking to find ways to survive this world and we figure the best way to do that is if the living stick together."

* * *

 

The group was eating dinner with Hilltop residents under a large outdoor patio with a few rows of picnic benches. Daryl chose to stick with Beth and Michonne, his eyes narrowing as he caught a couple men staring at the girls.

"Where ya goin?" He rasped as Beth stood while collecting their dishes. She cocked and eyebrow and pursed her lips, "where do ya think Dixon?"

"I got it, stay 'ere with Mich." He rasped, taking the dishes from her with a grunt. "Don't go no where alone." He muttered under his breath to Michonne. He watched her glance at the table and then Beth. With a little nod he headed to the large table set up for dirty dishes, adding them to the soaking tub. Two women were chatting while washing them, their conversation quieting as he dropped off the collection.

"Hi." The dark haired woman greeted, her hand outstretched, "I'm Kim."

Daryl stared at it for a moment before shaking it awkwardly. The other woman had her hands in the soaking water and only smiled introducing herself quietly, "Megan."

"So you're from another camp?" Kim asked, her hands drying a dish handed to her from Megan.

"Yeah." He rasped, glancing back at the table where Michonne and Beth sat. He narrowed his eyes when he found both of them grinning like Cheshire cats. 'Assholes.' He thought angrily before turning back to the woman speaking to him.

"Is it nearby?"

Daryl only looked back, his eyes narrowing at her question. The atmosphere was tense until Megan quipped, "stop being so damn nosey Kimmie. She's gotta know everything all the time."

"I do not. We just don't meet new people like ever." Kim complained with a pout. "Soo do you have a girlfriend?"

"Kimberly!" Megan snapped, "stop it."

"What? Just askin' it's not like theres a lot of options for fun around here."

Daryl watched a moment as they argued before retreating as quickly as possible. When he joined the table with Michonne and Beth again they burst into laughter.

"Shuddup." He snapped, his neck flushing in embarrassment.

"That girl's been staring at you all night." Michonne commented after her laughter abated. "I thought you'd noticed."

"I was too busy watching the fuckers staring at you two."

"Who's watching us?" Beth asked, her large eyes skimming their surroundings. When she reached the two men who were still sat watching them, she blushed and looked down. Michonne snorted and whispered, "you won't get a man by blushing at your lap."

"She don't need no fuckin' man." Daryl rasped, his glare landing on the two guys. "Mind your own son." He growled towards them while standing up slowly. Beth looked horrified while Michonne snickered under her breath. The stalkers stood and left as Daryl continued to eye them with disdain.

"Daryl Dixon!" Beth snapped, yanking on his wrist. "Sit down and stop being such a damn grouch. I can take care of myself. Val taught me."

Growling lowly he turned his eyes back to Beth and drawled, "I know but just because ya can don't mean ya should put yourself in a situation where ya gotta. Don't go nowhere by yourself here. Got it?"

"Daryl-." She started only to be cut off.

"Don't go nowhere alone. Ya hear me?" He interrupted, "ya know Val would say the same damn thing."

Clenching her jaw tightly she relented, "fine. Ya ain't my daddy though so stop being so.. So..."

"So junkyard dogish?" Michonne offered with a slow grin. Daryl narrowed his eyes at her and rasped, "I will when y'all stop being so dumb. We ain't at home and we don't know these people. We don't know who they are or what they've done."

"What about us? They don't know us but let us in, fed us. They can't be all that bad." Beth offered, her eyebrow cocked. "I think you're just being over protective."

"I'm protecting what's mine."

"Oh so we're your property now Dixon?" Michonne spoke, her expression turning angry.

"Y'all are my blood now." He drawled quietly, his tone almost hesitant. "I don't say that about just anyone."

The girls drew quiet and Beth smiled softly, "you're such a softy Daryl."

"Shuddup." He huffed, crossing his arms, "let's find Rick and see where were stayin tonight."

The trio exited the covered patio used for group meals and walked towards the large building on the hill. Catching sight of Rick and Jesus standing near the large staircase, Beth asked, "what kind of nickname is Jesus anyways?"

Daryl snorted and rasped, "Type of guy who needs a swift kick t' the balls."

Michonne chuckled and joked, "you're just jealous of his beard."

Daryl gave her an incredulous look and snapped, "ain't jealous of that pussy."

Beth smacked his shoulder and scolded him, "Watch your mouth Daryl Dixon."

Snickering he elbowed her and replied, "ya sound like yer ol' man."

Beth's smile was sad as she thought about Hershel but she replied, "thanks."

They reached the two men who were talking while leaning against the porch rail. Rick tipped his chin motioning for them to join the conversation. Slowly they ascended the steps as Jesus turned to greet them. He smiled at Beth and Michonne which made Daryl's eyes narrow, while introducing himself. "We haven't been properly introduced." His hand was outstretched and his lips curled. Daryl clenched his fist as Beth shook his hand, "Beth Greene."

"Nice to meet you Beth." He replied before turning his attention on Michonne. She stood with crossed arms, tipping her chin in greeting rather than shaking the offered palm. "Michonne."

"Good to meet you too Michonne." He spoke, his hand dropping to his side but his friendly smile still stretched across his face. The man reminded him of Aaron in a way but instead of feeling at eased by him, Daryl felt his skin prickle. There was something about the guy that got under his skin like a splinter.

Tuning out the conversation until he heard Beth agree to check out the library inside.

"Beth." He growled, his eyes narrowing at her.

Jesus put a hand up and assured, "don't worry I won't take your girl far."

Beth choked on a laugh as Michonne snorted, her hip cocked to the side while she watched Daryl face turn red.

"Ain't like that." He barked, his mouth frowning.

Beth's laughter died down and she added, "yeah besides he's with Va-."

"Beth." Daryl snapped, his eyes blazing as the blonde almost spoke Valentine's name. Beth pursed her lips and liked down as the air curdled awkwardly.

"Okay, well either way the library is pretty amazing. You're welcome to join us." Jesus spoke while directing the words to the whole group.

"Sounds good." Michonne replied, stepping forward to follow the other two. She gave Daryl a nod letting him know she was looking after the younger woman.

After they entered, Rick and Daryl gave each other a relieved look. "Ya think he'd recognize her name?"

"Ain't like her name is Jane, man." Daryl drawled, with a wry grin. Ricks lips curled up and he chuckled dryly. "No, no it ain't."

* * *

 

Valentine stared down her scope searching for a flash of red that caught her eye moments before. She stared down the rifles barrel so hard, her head pounded. "Come on, come on. Come on." She growled, scanning the treeline.

Daryl and the others had been gone a few days and Valentine couldn't help but stress out. There was a lot of territory between Alexandria and Hilltop, anything could happen. She hadn't slept in two days and her eyes felt dry as sandpaper. Another glimpse of vibrant red had Valentine shouldering her rifle and swiftly climbing down the tower. As her feet hit the ground she saw Sasha. "Take watch, I'm checking something out to the south." She announced, her heavy boots leading her way to the gate.

"Take someone with."

"No. It'll be faster on my own. Besides if it's something bad you need all the help you can get, a lot of our manpower is at Hilltop right now."

Nodding once, Sasha assured, "I'll cover you when I can."

Dipping her chin once, Valentine jogged to the gate and out of the entrance. She headed in the direction she last saw the flash of red, her eyes scanning for possible threats. Without knowing what she was looking for, the woman was on edge. Her breath was coming quickly but lowly, her temples beaded with sweat. Taking in a slow breath through her nose she noticed there was no smell of rot, the movement didn't seem to be undead. When she reached the thicker part of the woods, undergrowth wrought with twisting vines and crooked roots, Valentine found herself stumbling with unsure feet. Growling she forced herself forward until finding a path, her feet leading her down a curved game trail. Along the way she found a few animal snares and traps, the twine and sticks looking freshly set. It was a living person, that was for sure but were they dangerous was still unknown. Whoever it was, they were a survivor.

A rustling beyond a group of shrubs had her pausing mid stride, her head cocked to the side as she pinpointed the source.

Chewing her lip she had her rifle up and ready, her hands cramping with the nerves thrumming through her. Breathing a few quick breathes she egged herself on to approach the sound. Edging her way through she came face to face with the barrel of a gun and two giant green eyes.

The girl was no older than ten, her messy red hair hanging in her face in knots. She wore baggy jeans tied with a shoelace and a men's tank top, all of which was covered in mud and dried gore. Valentine froze, her rifle dipping slightly at the scene but still on guard.

"Don't move." The girl ordered, her voice sounding older and more world worn than it should. Her body was thin but strong, not a tremor in her hand.

"Ok." Valentine replied calmly, "I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Oh yeah. Well I am." The girl spoke defiantly, thrusting her gun towards her aggressively, "now leave or- or I'll shoot!"

"A'right. A'right. Calm down... Are you alone?"

"Shuddup. Go away." The girl snapped, her frame vibrating.

Valentine ground her teeth, her eyes skipping around for other people or tracks. All she could see were the small footprints of the girl and a ratty backpack on the ground. There was a string with a rabbit and a couple squirrels next to her feet and a ball of twine.

"You know how to trap?" Valentine asked while trying to figure out what to do with an armed child.

"Yeah so?"

Humming quietly, Valentine rolled her shoulders. "Just wondering. That's pretty cool. I don't know how to do that."

With narrowed eyes the redhead sneered, "Well you're stupid. It's easy, my dad taught me."

Smiling softly she asked, "Where is your dad?"

The girls eyes burned into hers, a look of regret in her gaze. "Shuddup."

"What's your name? I'm Val."

The girls feet shuffled nervously, her eyes skipping to the wood around them for escape before she muttered, "Penny."

Nodding thoughtfully, Valentine replied, "nice to meet you Penny. Can we put our guns down? I'm not gonna hurt you."

The redhead shifted away, her gun still aimed at Valentine as she slowly knelt to pick up her bag. "I'm leaving 'n you're not followin' me."

Valentine pursed her lips and asked, "do you have a safe place to stay?"

"Lemme alone!" She shouted, the sound making Valentine cringe. Looking around she caught sight of a few walkers stumbling their way.

"The dead are coming. Let me get you somewhere safe."

"I don't need you." The girl snapped, her gun jumping higher towards Valentine's face. "Leave."

Valentine snorted, putting her gun on her back and removing her blades while heading straight to the biters. Dispatching them quickly, she turned around to see just a flash of red hair as the girl ran into the woods. Groaning Valentine looked back towards Alexandria before deciding to follow the fleeing girl.

Penny knew how to escape and run, that was for certain but her legs could only go so fast and soon Valentine's training paid off. Grinding to a halt she watched as the girl ducked under a barbwire fence and squeezed into the opening of a boarded up cabin. Crouching near the wall, Valentine crept to the window. Inside she saw a sliver of the one room cabin, a man was laying on the bare mattress. She could see blood coating his leg and the girl unpacking her small bag. The murmuring of their voices had Valentine pressing her ear against the glass.

"Pen. Ya know it won't help."

"But."

"No." The man's voice was gruff but not mean. "You know better Pen. You aren't wasting it on me."

"We gotta try. Dad. Please." Her voice sounding younger than before while threatening Valentine.

"C'mere sweetheart."

Valentine was so intent on listening she didn't hear the footsteps behind her until a hand grabbed her hair. Yelping in surprise, she pulled away but the hand only tightened. The snarl and overwhelming scent of rot let her know what was attacking her from behind.

A gunshot had Valentine jumping in shock and free from the walkers grasp. Turning around she found Penny, feet wide and gun raised, the barrel smoking.

"I told you to leave!" She growled, her green eyes narrowed and angry.

"Pen! What's going on?!" The man's voice hollered from inside.

Valentine motioned her head to the side, "we gotta go inside. The dead are going to come to the shot."

"No."

"We gotta." Valentine snapped back as the sound of a horde of undead caught their attention. The girl growled before entering the cabin through the gap in wood slates nailed over the window. Valentine squeezed inside, groaning as a nail scratched her shoulder. Once inside she found Penny standing next to the bed of the injured man who was now holding a shotgun. Raising her hands Valentine assured, "I don't mean any harm."

"Who are you?" He demanded, his eyes flitting to Penny before returning to her.

"I'm Valentine." She replied, looking at his bloodied pant leg. "Your hurt."

"Mind your own business."

"You bit?"

"Shuddup." Penny snapped, her teeth clenched. "He's gonna be fine."

"Hush Pen." He spoke gruffly, "what're you doing here?"

Keeping her hands up Valentine explained calmly but her words hesitant, "I saw your girl in the woods... from my camp. I came to investigate." She wasn't too sure she should be telling them about her home but Valentine had a gut feeling the man was dying and the girl had no one else.

The man was quiet for a moment, sweat beading up on his temples and his trembling hands gripping the gun. After studying Valentine for a long tense moment he asked, "what kinda camp."

"Dad no."

"Hush Pen. What kind of camp?"

Nodding Valentine glanced at the girl before returning her eyes to the father, "It's a good place. Walls and supplies."

"Families?"

Valentine dipped her chin, her eyes remaining glued to the injured man, "yeah."

Shifting on the bed he grimaced before speaking again. "I'm John, you've met my girl Penny."

The clanging of dead tangled in there outer defenses had them quieting instantly.

"We're gonna need to hide out." Valentine muttered, "can I stay for awhile?"

"Sure." John answered, laying his gun on his lap while telling Penny, "get those critters skinned Pen. We can start a fire when they leave."

Valentine watched the girl begin to skin the rabbit on the kitchen floor, her little hands working easily and practiced. She watched quietly while perched on the edge of an armchair.

"She's good at that."

"Yeah. Shes a fast learner." He replied, adjusting himself awkwardly on the bed. "I am... bit I mean."

Pursing her lips Valentine nodded, her eyes filling with sorrow, "how long?"

"Yesterday. Damn bastard was just laying there. Thought he was dead." He grunted, shaking his head with a look of bemusement. "Taken out by a fucking crawler of all things."

"I'm sorry." Valentine replied, her gaze moving to the girl cleaning the insides out of the squirrel.

"This place.. It's good?"

Chewing her lip nervously, Valentine nodded, "yeah.. Better than most."

"Would they..." John paused, the man obviously struggling to accept the need to rehome his daughter, "would they take her in?"

"Dad! No!" Penny exclaimed from the kitchen. "I'm not leaving you."

"Quiet Penny." He scolded her, his chin tipping to the outside which now had dead ones groaning. Stomping her foot and balling up her bloodied fists, "No you aren't dying!"

"Penny!" He growled quiet enough to stop the girls arguments but not alert the walkers outside. "You know what's happening sweetheart." He softened his voice. "You know."

Penny wiped her nose with the back of her bloody hand and looked down. Valentine could see the tears falling but the girl went back to cleaning the animals. Biting her lip Valentine looked back at the man and replied. "Yeah... Yeah we can take her in."

John clenched his fists, his eyes blurry. "What were you before?"

Looking confused she asked, "why?"

"I wanna know who I'm giving my daughter to."

Swallowing thickly Valentine nodded, "I was a mom." She looked down at her scarred hands and continued, "I had a ten year old son. His name was Michael."

"He's gone?"

"Yeah, yeah he's gone. My husband too." She added, "but I have a new family now. My group, we're family."

"Tell me about them." He instructed shakily, his face sweaty as the fever burned through him.

"Rick's our leader of sorts. He was a sheriff before everything. His son Carl and baby daughter Judith are there. Maggie and Glenn are married, Maggie just found out she's pregnant. Carol helps take care of the group, anything it needs she'll get it done. Michonne is strong and quiet but caring. She'd die for any one of us. Beth is Maggie's sister and she takes care of Judith a lot among other things. Abraham, Rosita and Eugene joined the group awhile ago. Abe's military and Eugene is well... Weird but very smart. He's helping us create a sustainable food source. Rosita has medical experience as well as a wicked right hook." She smirked remembering their altercation all those months ago. "Sasha lost a lot but she keeps the group safe. Tara is pretty funny, kinda like the comedic relief of the group." Valentine chuckled before continuing, "And Daryl... He's my..."

"Yours?"

"Yeah... He's mine. He helps Rick run things. Keeps us fed and alive. There are more people but those are my original group. We've lost a lot. Recently we had some people break in. They killed a lot of us. Then the dead came and we lost more but we held it together. Our walls are stronger now and we've survived."

"Sounds good huh Penny?"

"I'm not leaving." The girl muttered, her voice hoarse as repeated her words, "I'm not."

"Pen." Her father started, coughing a few times before rasping, "I don't have much time left sweetheart."

"You can't." The girl exclaimed, running to his side and wrapping her arms around his neck. "You can't go. Not like Mama."

Valentine stood up to give them space, her watery eyes peering out the window as she ignored the conversation behind her. It wasn't a situation she was expecting to find herself in when she exited Alexandria. She was watching a girl become an orphan and there wasn't anything she could do about it. Her heart ached for Penny, a little girl in a brutal world. It wasn't fair.

"Valentine." Johns voice broke her from the depressing spell.

"Yeah." She croaked turning to see Penny tucked into John's side, her face pressed into his ribs as her narrow shoulders shook.

"Would you mind starting a fire when it's clear out?"

"Of course. The sun is setting. We'll leave in the morning." Valentine informed while nervously looking at the man.

"I'm not leaving him."

John looked at Valentine for a long moment before returning his eyes to Penny at his side. "You done with those critters yet Pen?"

The girl grumbled, wiping her tear covered cheek before continuing with her task. Valentine watched her a moment before returning her eyes to John. His face was pained, his eyes feverish and body shuddering. She could tell it wouldn't be long before the infectious bite killed him.

* * *

 

It was the early morning hours when John stopped breathing. Valentine had kept watch, her eyes never leaving the man as his daughter curled up into his sweaty side. Every twitch or rattled breath had the woman poised with her knife, ready to put him down before he hurt the girl.

The stillness of his chest woke Penny, the girl instantly on alert. Her giant green eyes landed on Valentine's hand wrapped tightly around her knife, the blade sharp and shiny.

"He's ok. He's gonna be ok." Penny assured, her hands patting his face, "wake up dad. Show her."

"Penny." Valentine started only to be interrupted by her shouting for her father to wake up. Stepping forward, Valentine tried to calm the girl but she became hysterical, her feet kicking and hands shoving Valentine away.

"Shush Penny. You gotta be quiet. I know this is hard."

"You don't. You don't!" The girl screeched, punching Valentine in the face. Grunting in pain, she sheathed her knife before grabbing the girl's pounding fists.

"Stop. Right now." She growled, pulling the adolescent from the bed. "You know what needs to be done."

"Please don't."

"I've got to. Your father wouldn't want to turn. You know he wouldn't." She explained moving Penny to the other side of the room. "Sit."

The girl perched on the edge of the chair her wide eyes watching as Valentine approached the bed, her knife out again. As she got to the bed John's body began to twitch, his new form coming to life. A groan erupted from his parted lips causing Penny to run forward.

"Daddy!" She cried out, obviously thinking he was still living and breathing.

Valentine grabbed the girl just in time as John's head lurched off the bed, his teeth snapping for a meal. The girl cried as Valentine held her back with one hand, the other slammed the blade into Johns' right eye. Sobs wracked the girl's small frame as she began hitting Valentine with weakened arms. Eventually she collapsed onto the ground, her head pressing into her father's side. Valentine crouched down, her hand resting on Penny's shuddering back, her own throat closing with grief. The world wasn't fair or kind when it came to loss, even for little girls.

* * *

 

"Whaddya mean she's gone?" Daryl snapped at Sasha who greeted them at the gates with a grim face.

"She saw movement out there and went to investigate."

"Alone? Why didn't you send someone with her?" He snarled, grabbing his bow out of the truck bed.

"You think I didn't suggest she take help Dixon?" Sasha growled back, her eyes blazing, "you know her man, she wanted us to keep enough hands on deck if it were more trouble."

"Well obviously it's more fucking trouble she ain't here and she's out there a-fucking-lone!" He shouted at her, his anger for Valentine's poor decision aimed at the messenger. "How long she been gone?"

"Since yesterday before dusk."

"Yesterday?!" He bellowed, his body tensing with something close to fury. "The fuck ya standin' here for goddamnit?!"

"Daryl." Rick spoke from the side, his hand up as if to calm down the situation. "Lets go track her path. Which way did she go?"

Sasha glared at Daryl before replying, "South. I watched her for as long as I could see her. She went through the woods and I lost her when she hit the cell tower."

"Ok. Dixon and Abe, with me." Rick drawled, "Aaron you get Jesus settled, show him around. We'll be back as soon as we can. I have a radio on me if we run into trouble. I want more eyes on the perimeter just in case."

The group split up, Daryl jogging to the gate, leaving Rick and Abraham behind. He couldn't wait another moment when Valentine could be beyond the walls hurt or worse.

'Fucking idiots.' He grumbled inwardly. He couldn't believe she'd been gone all night and they hadn't gone to look for her. 'Gonna kick her scrawny ass.' He promised quietly despite knowing he would do nothing of the sort. All he wanted was for her to be unhurt and back in his arms.

"Daryl." Rick spoke from behind him, both men following without running. "Slow down."

"Fuck that Rick. She's been gone all night? They didn't send no one. What the fuck were they waitin' for? Her to show up at the gate turned into a damn walker?"

"No one else is a tracker Dixon." Abraham chimed in before adding, "besides, Blondie can take care of her own."

"Oh yeah? Like last time? What if there's people out here like the others huh?"

"Daryl calm down okay? I'm sure she's fine. Probably holed up somewhere for the night because of a herd."

"Yeah or she's taken by the living or eaten by dead assholes." He snarked while finding her trail easily. "Ain't hard to follow some damn footprints."

"It's not hard for a redneck, those folks aren't mountain men Dixon." Abraham joked with a grin. "Let's find our girl. I know she's fine. Can feel it."

"Shuddup." Daryl grumbled climbing through a long path of twisted vines and pricker bushes. They hiked for awhile when he spotted animal traps and additional foot prints. Grunting slightly with his head cocked to the side, he muttered, "someone else here.. small."

"What do ya mean?"

"Looks like a kid." He drawled, his eyes scanning the ground for any other prints. "Yeah just them. Looks like they ran from here."

"No one else?" Rick questioned, his own eyes scanning the ground for clues.

"Got some dead walkers." Abraham noted from the side, "Valentine's blade work all over 'em."

Moving forward Daryl followed both sets of footprints to a small enclosed property. The cabin was surrounded by a chainlink fence wound with barbwire. There were a few spots that allowed for access as long as the sharp material was stepped under. They circled the house without revealing their position, Rick murmured, "windows are all boarded except for some spotting slots. Got a plan?"

"I'm gonna walk up and kick the damn door in if I gotta."

"Calm down Rambo. How bout we signal her, see if we get a holler back." Abraham offered, his eyebrow cocked.

"Fine." Daryl grunted before placing his fingers to his lips. The trill bird call was one their group had used for a long time, the signal recognizable to all of them. Silence greeted them for what felt like too long until a return call reached them from inside the home. Daryl instantly stepped through the barbwire, his jacket getting caught in his haste. Rick pulled the metal fencing away giving him a wry grin.

"See told ya." He rasped with relieved eyes, the man obviously having held in his worry unlike Daryl.

"Shuddup." He grunted, reaching the door of the small cabin.

A few loud thumps came from inside before the door was pulled open, Valentine stood there with a tiny smirk.

"It's about time." She joked, a slow smile gracing her lips, her hands on her hips.

"What the hell were ya thinkin'?" He barked before his eyes skipped to the girl kneeling behind her, a man covered in a sheet lay before her. Daryl's voice died and his gaze hardened, "what happen?"

* * *

 

Valentine stood with the others while Penny stayed kneeling next to her father. "I followed her here. He'd been bit."

Glancing at the girl she murmured, "he died last night. I was waiting for sun up to leave but she won't let go of his hand."

"I'll dig a hole." Abraham offered, his brows furrowed and mouth downturned as he watched the girl sniffle.

"I want to take him to Alexandria. Bury him within the walls. Would you like that Penny?"

"It doesn't matter, he's still dead." The girl sneered, her eyes angry and defiant despite the tears.

Frowning Valentine replied, "It does. He deserves to rest somewhere safe at least. "

"He won't know it. He dead. This ain't even him." The girl muttered, her hands tightening on the pale palm of her father.

Wandering closer to the girl, Valentine crouched down. "Stop acting like you don't care."

"I don't." Penny growled, her eyes filled with tears which she tried to conceal from the group watching.

Valentine leaned forward and retorted, "if that were true you wouldn't be sitting there holding his hand. Stop pretending like you don't care."

"There ain't time for tears." She spoke sounding like she was repeating a saying.

"You dad tell you that?" Valentine asked with a small frown, the urge to comfort the girl almost overpowering. Penny wouldn't accept such comfort though, Valentine could almost see herself in the adolescent girl. Both of them coated in hard exteriors to conceal the humans below. She felt like she needed to save the girl's humanity. No one should be that callous before their tenth birthday.

"So?"

"So. It's bullshit. Feeling hurt is normal." Valentine spoke softer, kneeling on the other side of the mattress, "Look your dad asked me to take you back to my camp. As soon as we get a vehicle, we'll go there. We'll take your dad and you can visit him whenever you want."

"Well I won't wanna." Penny snapped, retching her hand away from the dead man's "just- just leave him."

Frowning slightly Valentine looked at the men who all seemed out of their depth with a grieving little girl. Rick however pulled his radio out and called back to Alexandria for a car. Valentine hoped John would rest easier inside the walls of Alexandria knowing he found safety for his daughter.

* * *

 

Pulling through the gate, Rick parked the vehicle near the makeshift graveyard. Valentine climbed out with Penny, the girl now silent and brooding. Abraham, Glenn and Rick carried the large man on a stretcher towards the patch of land. There would be a small funeral for John and afterwards they would discuss where Penny would live. Valentine wasn't too sure what they should do next but her thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling out from across the street.

"Hey, I know you."


	49. Chapter 49

The man spoke loudly from across the street causing Valentine to pause mid step. She watched him hesitantly, Daryl near her looked just as unsure as she felt. When they caught up on the way home, Valentine had been informed of the visitors from Hilltop. She recognized the name of one, Jesus being an uncommon nickname. The plan had been to keep her hidden and prevent any backlash of her being one of their community. No one knew what kind of reaction Hilltop might have to her and Valentine couldn't help but cringe as the guy approached.

Swallowing thickly she stayed quiet as he stepped across the street and joined them in front of Rick's house. Valentine remembered him from the day the Saviors visited Hilltop. The day that ended with a teenager bludgeoned unrecognizable by Negan and two more slain by her blades. It was in the early time of her stay in Sanctuary, the days before she became a walking husk, she remembered the guilt she felt on the ride home. She hadn't wanted to kill anyone that day, let alone people grieving their murdered family member.

She remembered him standing with the boy's mother, the woman collapsing in his arms while sobs tore from her throat. Valentine had been acutely aware of what the poor woman was feeling. It had only been a few months since she was in the same position, the only difference being Valentine had no one to hold her, she was all alone.

The man was trailed by two people she didn't recognize, both seeming unaware of who she was. They stopped a few feet away as Daryl stepped forward, his wide shoulders almost blocking her.

"I don't mean any harm." he assured Daryl his eyes pinned on Valentine's face. "You're Valentine aren't you?"

Chewing her lip nervously she gave him a stiff nod, her eyes flicking to Rick's who joined the group. He began speaking before he reached them. "Valentine is family here. Will that be a problem?"

"No. Why would it?" Jesus asked, his eyes wide as he continued, "I mean. It's true isn't it? You killed Negan?"

The people behind him gasped at the words, both looking more than a little interested in who Valentine was now. Clenching her teeth she looked at Rick before answering, the man seemed just as surprised by the statement. Dipping his chin to her, Valentine replied, "Yes."

Nodding, Jesus tugged at his gloves in a nervous fashion and crossed his arms. She watched as a darkness clouded his eyes. Everyone was silent for a tense moment, Jesus seeming to be searching for words.

"I'm not sure if you remember Tory, she was one of Negans wives." Jesus finally spoke, pausing as Valentine nodded. The woman had almost white blonde hair and icy eyes, she was hard to forget. She came in with a group, her own family dead except for a young girl who she had cared for. When Negan caught sight of the striking woman he'd instantly offered her a spot in his harem, always pushing for another wife and more control. The young girl she cared for was given to another couple who had lost their own children. Valentine distinctly remembered being jealous of the girl's survival, a deep and shameful ache to switch the child's life for her own son's.

Jesus's voice broke her distant gaze, "When Negan was killed and everything fell apart in Sanctuary, she escaped with a lot of folks, her kids included."

Valentine looked away feeling uncomfortable with the man's gaze. She was expecting the same reaction she received from Dwight, the utter loathing at her actions, the blame for causing the downfall of the larger than life Negan.

"If I'd known you were here I'd have brought her. She will be disappointed to not be able to thank you in person." Jesus explained before adding, "you did the world a great service when you killed that man. The aftermath wasn't your responsibility. It got real bad for awhile but I believe the rest of the Saviors have perished."

"That would be all Sunshine's work too, brother." Abraham bragged from the porch nearby, his large shoulder leaning against the railing. Valentine pursed her lips and felt a ripple of unease run through her, the desire to either lash out or hide. She wasn't going to relive any of those events with a stranger. Stuffing it down she avoided explaining Abraham's statement and replied, "next time you visit bring her along.

"Can I ask you one more question?"

Nodding once, she chewed her cheek as she waited for the next invasion of privacy.

"How did you do it? Kill Negan?" Jesus asked and without any hesitation Valentine replied, "I sold my soul."

The group was painfully quiet, all feeling uncomfortable with her blatant confession, the connotations quite clear. It wasn't until Penny screamed from down the street that anyone blinked.

"Val!"

Turning instantly Valentine stepped away from the men and walked to the girl dodging Maggie's attempts at getting her inside for a bath. Smirking Valentine reached the girl and crouched in front of her.

"You stink." She spoke plainly, her eyes finally noticing how filthy the girl really was, "you need a bath and a haircut. You look like a feral kid from the woods."

"What's feral?"

"Wild."

"So what?" Penny snapped, crossing her bony arms tightly. "I am and being clean is stupid. I'm just gonna get dirty again."

Snorting Valentine muttered, "you sound like Dixon."

She heard a few chuckles behind her as well as a indignant huff no doubt coming from the man himself. Valentine softly gripped her little biceps and offered, "bath and haircut then you get food and if you're nice and you don't punch me again I'll show you my perch." Pointing at the tower in the center of town the girl followed her finger. Pursing her lips, Penny contemplated the offer and countered, "bath, no haircut, perch, then food."

"Food first."

Growling under her breath she huffed, pushing her ratty hair out of her eyes. "Fine. But we get to stay until I say we can come down."

"Fine." Valentine replied standing upright. The men behind her all seemed amused at the interaction, Daryl muttering under his breath, "damn mini Val."

Smirking at Daryl she tipped her head to the house. "Go with Maggie. I'll be right there."

"I can wash myself. I'm not some damn baby." The girl snapped before stomping up the stairs.

Valentine waited for the door to close before she laughed under her breath. The situation was the best cure to the stress and anxiety of the last conversation. Daryl joined her side and looked up at the house, "did ya just adopt some damn stray?"

"I think I might have. I used to have this problem with stray animals." She confessed, her cheeks blushing while thinking of a life long forgotten, "it didn't matter where I'd go, the grocery store, the library, the damn dentist, no matter what, I would end up running into some stray dog or cat that needed help. I found a dog in the road once, adopted him. I found a hurt baby bunny and took him to a rescue place. One time I shooed a whole gaggle of baby geese off the highway."

"A gaggle huh?" Daryl rasped, his laughter barely contained, his blue eyes amused. Valentine face split into a blinding smile, "yep. A huge gaggle."

Snorting loudly, Daryl pulled her into his side and murmured, "glad ya ain't hurt Val. Came home t'find ya gone again. Don't like it."

"Didn't mean to stay gone." She replied, looking up at the house, "didn't expect to find a girl being orphaned out there. Her daddy was hours away from dying and she had no one."

"I'm glad ya found her but ya can't go out there alone like that."

"We were shorthanded Daryl. I couldn't risk bringing someone inexperienced or pull someone who could defend the town. It isn't going to be common place. okay?" She explained her eyes opened and honest, "it was just a shitty situation."

"Fine but... just can ya try to not scare the shit outta me no more?"

Chuckling a little she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, murmuring, "but it's my job to keep you on your toes Dare."

* * *

 

A small group sat down with Jesus in the home once used by Deanna's family. It had become more of a town command center, Rick and others using it as an office. Since Valentine had been discovered as the source of the group's information of Hilltop, Jesus was more open to speaking to them. He began to explain what happened after Negan's death and the downfall of Sanctuary.

"We didn't know he was dead for awhile. They'd come for supplies and it was as if he was still running things except he hadn't visited or killed anyone. Dwight killed one of our residents on one of their last visits but no one ordered him to do it. It was when I realized Negan wasn't in control anymore. No one went against Negan."

Daryl watched as Valentine flinched at the name, her fists tightening in her lap as Jesus continued to speak of the scum bag. "Dwight hadn't been too bad but then they showed up, all of them looking worn and beaten. Dwight was unhinged I guess you could say."

Valentine pursed her lips before chiming in, "his wife killed herself."

"I heard from Tory after she joined us that she had." Jesus replied before squinting, "how did you know?"

"Don't matter." Daryl growled, leaning forward. "Keep going."

The room was quiet as Jesus shifted slightly, the man obviously catching on that there was more to the story.

"Eventually we figured out Sanctuary had fallen." Jesus continued but his eyes kept returning to Valentine. "Tory and her kids showed up as well as a handful of others. They told us of Negan's death. That Valentine had killed him and that the hierarchy had torn itself apart. The place had fallen and was taken over by even worse individuals. The group that joined us had weapons tough, lots of them they'd stolen and we were able to defend ourselves when some leftover Saviors showed up to steal from us."

Rick nodded along and asked, "how long ago was that?"

"Awhile. Half a year or more. Haven't seen them since."

The room was quiet as some realized not long after Hilltop fought off the Saviors they'd found Valentine. Daryl watched her fidget, something she wasn't prone to doing, the woman being rather stoic when she thought. She looked as if she were close to speaking but changed her mind, her mouth clenching shut.

Jesus seemed to notice also, the man being to perceptive for his own good. Daryl shifted in his seat as if getting ready to defend Valentine if need be.

"What would you like to know?" Jesus asked Valentine, her head popping up with surprised eyes. Shaking her head she muttered, "nothing."

Smirking the man encouraged, "come on, I can tell you want to say or ask something."

"Why does she want to thank me. Sherry killed herself because of what happened after... he died." She finally spoke, her voice tense. Daryl couldn't help but notice the pause and refusal to speak the dead fuckers name.

"Tory described what transpired after Negan's death. The group that took over. The depravity that occurred once Negan wasn't there to threaten everyone. Even with that she was happy he was dead. Sherry couldn't take care of herself or didn't want to I suppose. She looked to make a deal with the new people that took over and it backfired. After what happened, she did kill herself. Tory didn't go that route. She got her kids and left."

"I thought she only had one. A girl she had found and took care of."

Jesus looked uncomfortable for a moment before replying, "this stays here."

Rick shifted slowly, his eyes hardening as the man's tone turned somber. Daryl and Valentine waited silently but nodded in agreement.

"Tory gave birth in Sanctuary a few months after Negans death. The baby was a month old when she escaped." He replied, his eyes explaining all that needed to be said, Tory had given birth to Negans child.

Valentine's expression dropped slightly and she glanced at Daryl. He couldn't tell her feelings of the news, her face going blank for a moment before she croaked, "excuse me." Standing up abruptly, Valentine left the house without a glance back. Daryl stayed seated, unsure if he should follow or allow her time to process it. If he knew anything about the woman, she was probably feeling guilty for killing a child's father, even if that father was a sick twisted bastard like Negan.

"She doesn't need to feel guilty." Jesus supplied, "Tory is happy he's gone. She knows if he'd found out about the pregnancy he would've had her terminate it. The kid isn't going to know about its father. She feels its best for everyone that no one knows."

Rick nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "it'll stay between us. No one else needs to know. It isn't important as long as this Tory isn't angry with Valentine for what she did."

Jesus snorted and replied, "if Tory had her way she'd throw a damn parade for Valentine. She said the best day in her life, other than her child's birth, was the day his body was found."

* * *

 

Valentine was sitting in her perch, her eyes scanning the surrounding forest and neighborhoods. The sound of someone climbing had her peeking over the side. A mop of bright red hair had her frowning, "you shouldn't be climbing up without me."

"I'm not a baby. I can climb a damn ladder." Penny barked as she climbed inside the small space. "Besides it ain't that high."

"You fall half way up and you'll die. Don't climb up here without an adult following you."

"Whatever."

"Not whatever." Valentine snapped her eyes burning holes into the girl. "I'm not kidding."

"Yeah well you aren't my mama."

"Your dad gave you to me to take care of, and I'm pretty sure he'd be pissed at me if I let you die in the first 48 hours."

Penny huffed out a breath and looked around. "It is pretty cool up here."

Valentine sighed, rubbing her temple as a headache throbbed. "It's fine."

"I like it. Its quiet and nobody's can hassle me." Penny replied before adding, "well except for you."

"Yeah well I'm supposed too, I guess." Valentine muttered, pulling her binoculars up to scan the grounds. Penny stayed silent, her arms resting on the short wall, her chin propped on her folded hands.

The girl didn't speak for a long while until she inquired, "what kinda name is Valentine? Isn't that a day or somethin'?"

Laughing quietly, Valentine tucked her wild hair behind her ear and confessed, "Its a family name."

"What's that mean?"

"Means it was kinda tradition to call a baby by the name. My grandpa's name was Valentine and he died in the war when my dad was real young. He named me after him."

"Oh." Penny replied, looking over the edge, "so you got a boys name? That's dumb."

Snorting she said, "it can be both. But I always went by Val because it was weird. Kids used to make fun of me."

Pursing her lips Penny confessed, "kids made fun of my name too. Kaitlin used to say mama called me that 'cause my hair is rusty like a Penny."

"Well Kaitlin seems like a little shit." Valentine replied grinning as the girl smirked, Penny nodding her head once. "Yeah she was."

Standing there quietly the pair watched a few dead scramble out of the woods. Valentine calmly picked up her rifle and aimed, her finger slowly sliding over the trigger. Pulling it a few times, she put down the biters quickly. Penny muttered, "you're good at that."

"Practice."

"Can I?"

"Next one is yours."

The girl smiled slightly but her lips faltered after a moment, her eyes falling to her hands. Valentine could see the path her mind took, guilt written all over her face.

"He'd be happy you're here and safe. It's ok to smile."

Penny frowned harder and growled, "no it isn't. He's dead and I'm here eating food and sleeping in a bed. It isn't fair."

"No it isn't but most things aren't." Valentine spoke softly, the terrible things that she'd seen over the last couple years scrolling through her mind.

"Like your kid dying?"

Valentine swallowed thickly and nodded once but didn't speak anymore, she only watched and waited for more dead.

"Thanks for bringing me here." Penny's soft voice hooked Valentine's attention. Curling one side of her mouth Valentine responded, "you're welcome."

"Where am I sleepin?" Penny asked, her head resting against the railing.

"Probably at my group's place. We have an office that has a pull out bed."

"M'tired." The girl murmured.

"Lets go. I'll get you settled in alright?" Valentine replied without hesitation, setting her binoculars to the side.

"I can come back though right?"

"Yeah. Yeah you come back."

* * *

 

That evening Daryl leaned against the bathroom wall as Valentine brushed her teeth. She stood wearing only a tank top and a pair of underwear, her hair damp from the shower. He watched the way her back moved, her shoulder muscles contracting as she rinsed her mouth. The scars that spread over her shoulder blades like wings, flexed and rolled. Despite the stomach clenching scarring, the sight of her had his dick twitching and mouth watering. Every part of her was sexy, even the harsh edges.

"Ya goin' to see Hilltop when we go back?" He rasped when she wiped her mouth with a hand towel. Shrugging she answered tentatively, "I'm not sure I want to go back."

"Don't gotta."

Nodding she stepped forward, her fingers curling into the worn fabric of his shirt. "I know."

Swallowing thickly Daryl's hands rose to cup her elbows, his fingers curling into the warm skin of her arms. Pulling her closer, he lowered his mouth to hers, wet lips and sweet tongues making them both moan. Valentine backed him into the wall, her teeth nipping at his lip before moving down his neck. She began unbuttoning his shirt while licking the divot by his collarbone. Groaning Daryl flipped them around, pressing her against the wall, his thigh slotted between her soft thighs.

"Girl." He groaned as she grabbed his belt to yank him closer.

"Daryl." She murmured against his chest, her fingers sliding open the freshly unbuttoned shirt. Her hips rolled against his thigh, heat soaking through his denim as her body slid against it. Daryl clutched the flesh of her ass, yanking her up his body with ease. Gripping the curved muscle, he walked them back to their bedroom while she was slung over him. Her arms were braced across his shoulders as she sucked and licked his neck. He couldn't help but pull her firmly against his front while rutting in between her thighs as he reached their room. Dropping her to the bed, Daryl began yanking off his clothing while demanding hoarsely, "take it off. All o'it."

Quickly both were striped bare, the couple writhing against each other on the unmade bed. He growled deeply as the tight hot skin of his dick slide against the wet heat between her thighs. "Damn Val. Fuck."

"Yeah." She moaned, her hands curling into Daryl's hair as he licked a tantalizing path down the center of her chest. His mouth took several detours, the longest being to suck a rapid rhythm on her nipples before dipping into the soft curve of her stomach.

"Taste good darlin'." He rasped, his teeth scraping along her hipbone. "Wanna eat y'up."

"Sounds good to me." She gasped as his tongue trailed through her parted folds. Daryl moaned deeply as her taste flooded his mouth, her scent filling his nose as he pressed it into her trimmed hair. Everything moved slower as he took his time exploring her soft and pliable core. He couldn't stop himself from pushing his tongue deeper and harder as Valentine fisted his hair with no restraint. Grunting in pain but groaning with satisfaction, Daryl pinned her thighs down to keep her from moving.

"F-f-fuck." She stuttered, her fists moving to grip the headboard behind her. Smirking into her drenched lips, he circled and flicked until the tension in her arched body finally broke.

"Oh god!" She gasped loudly, her eyes wide and body undulating through the ebb and flow of her orgasm. She watched him suck a slow path up her body, a coy grin curling his lips. Daryl reached her mouth, the man sucking her pouty bottom lip before nipping it playfully.

"So good." She spoke breathlessly, her face flushed and temples sweaty.

"Mmhm." He grunted, his hand fisting his dick while dragging it through her soaked folds. "Feel real good Val. Fuck. Want ya now. Gotta."

"Well come on then." She teased, wrapping her legs around his waist to pull him flush against her body. "Fuck me D."

The new nickname had him groaning, thrusting into her spread thighs with no accuracy, only impatience. "Damnit, Val."

Smirking she curled her hips upward making his frantic movements hit home, his dick sinking into her wet heat. "Motherfucker." He growled loudly, his eyes screwing up as the urge to cum became almost overwhelming.

'Jesus Dixon. Don't cum. Fuckin pussy.' He cursed himself as her body arched into his and bowed with his movements.

"That's it darlin'." He murmured as she writhed under his snapping hips. "Like that sweetheart?"

"Yes." She hissed, her hips rolling erratically as her muscles clung to his dick. The feeling of her body begging him to fuck her deeper and harder had Daryl surging forward, his mouth ravaging hers. They moved easily, both gripping any flesh nearby, fingers curled into curves. He traced the arch of her neck with his tongue as her head tilted back, her lips parted and breath panted. Sweat trailed down his back and his arms trembled with exertion. Too soon his stomach began clenching, the ache becoming almost too much to bare.

"Fuck I'm gonna." He gasped, his fingers dug into her hips as he came long and hard, as deep as he could. "Goddamn. Val."

His head was thrumming, the steady beat of his heart throbbed behind his eyes. Daryl's chest heaved as he sucked air desperately, his orgasm shutting off all normal control. Valentine's hands reached his cheeks, her mouth gently kissing his jaw and temple as he came back to his body. Her murmurs of affection finally got through, her sweet voice soothing his raging heart.

"Relax Dare." She instructed, "that's it breathe."

"Fuck." He moaned, tucking his face into the curve of her neck. "Never came tha' hard n'my life."

She chuckled slightly her hands swiping across his forehead while gently pushing him to his side. They lay in a tangle of limbs, her hand stroking the hair from his face while he dozed. A kiss was laid against his temple, a soft whisper carrying him off to sleep. "Rest sweetheart."

* * *

 

A few weeks went by and Penny settled into a routine of sitting watch with Valentine while getting lessons on the rifle. The days were spent quietly at times but others, Valentine used the privacy to talk to the girl about her father. She knew Penny was struggling with the loss and also knew all too well what would happen if she didn't process it. Sometimes Penny would ask her different things about surviving, the girl eager to learn all that Valentine knew. One morning she surprised the woman by asking, "Do you think Daryl would teach me to use his bow?"

Snorting Valentine had looked down at the redhead who was peering through a mini set of binoculars. Just the sight of the new gear in her hands answered the question, Daryl had found them especially for the girl. The man had already taken Penny under his wing, becoming a strong male presence in the girl's life. Valentine knew he'd do just about anything the girl needed and maybe even anything she ever wanted.

"Yeah. Just gotta ask him." She replied finally, handing the rifle over to Penny. "At your three."

The girl stood with her feet angled, her left forward and right turned. She braced the rifle to her shoulder, her thin arm shaking slightly at the weight.

"Use the rail. No need to impress me." Valentine snarked, nudging her with her elbow. Penny growled lowly but propped the barrel on the ledge and aimed again. She took in a slow breathe, firing as her lungs released. The dead one dropped to the forest floor as Penny grinned widely. Rolling her eyes Valentine muttered, "yeah, yeah. Good job."

* * *

 

"Hilltop sent word, the seed we gave 'em is workin' out better than planned. Says we should expect some supplies in two weeks." Rick drawled as Valentine helped him inventory the armory. "M'thinkin we gotta get at least a few thousand more rounds to keep both our armories flush."

Nodding along she asked, "we have the shells for that?"

Scrunching his nose, Rick replied, "no."

"Hm." She grunted while marking down her tally and handing it over. "Ideas on resolving that?"

"Not a clue." He rasped, scrubbing his jaw. "But I'm thinking we need to find other things to trade."

Bobbing her head, Valentine crossed her arms and asked, "and that would be?"

"Fuck if I know." He laughed dryly, his blue eyes meeting Valentine's amused ones. "But I'm sure we can think of somethin'."

Smirking she opened the next crate of ammunition to start counting. Half way through Rick inquired, "how's things with Penny?"

Snorting Valentine glanced over and muttered, "she's a damn handful Rick."

"I can see that. Reminds me of someone." Rick teased, his grin making Valentine roll her eyes, muttering a quiet "shuddup." She stood up, stretching her back while scratching the number down and handing it over to Rick. "Better pray Judy isn't half as mouthy, Grimes. You wouldn't believe the shit that comes out of that girl's mouth."

Snickering Rick cocked an eyebrow and rasped, "like what?"

"She told me yesterday that she wished I got bit by the walker instead of her dad, that she wished I was dead." Valentine confessed with a sigh, sitting down heavily.

"What did you say?" Rick asked sitting down next to her, his hand gripping her knee for moment.

"I told her if I could, I would."

"Val." Rick breathed out his eyes watering, "don't even think that."

"I know. I know."

"You have any idea what would happen if you were gone?" Rick drawled, his voice cracking slightly. "We wouldn't survive that."

"Yeah you would." She replied, squeezing his hand. "You'd have too. Besides I can't trade places with the dead, so don't stress out."

"Just.. don't say that shit anymore." He murmured, shaking his head slightly as if to dispel the images. Valentine chuckled and bumped his shoulder, "alright, alright."

The pair was quiet a moment until Rick asked, "are you coming with us when we head back to Hilltop?"

Pursing her lips, Valentine contemplated the question for the thousandth time. She'd been thinking about it for weeks now, still unsure if she wanted to step foot there again. There was a deep worry that not only would it bring back terrible memories but also a fear it was some kind of trap. How could they forgive her for showing up with such a sadistic fuck and killing a few of their members. It wasn't a situation anyone could forget, the gruesome display of a madman.

"I'm not sure I can stomach it." She admitted, her eyes nervously meeting Rick's patient ones. "I'm worried it will be like going to Sanctuary again."

"Because of what happened?"

"He destroyed a family that day Rick and I stood next to him. You saw what he did to people with that fucking bat. I stood next to him while he murdered that kid and when his family got upset I murdered them. Cut them down like-like they were nothing."

"You didn't want-."

"It doesn't matter." She snapped, standing up and pacing the small room. "I didn't want to, I wanted to stop it but I still stood there and when they tried to kill Negan, instead of letting them, I protected that fuck and slaughtered them. How the hell are they forgiving me for that? It can't be real."

"I think they can because they knew Negan. Knew what he was and what he did." Rick stood up blocking her nervous path. "They knew you didn't want too."

Swallowing thickly Valentine wiped her cheek rough as a stray tear fell. "It sounds like this Tory wants to thank you anyways. You put an end to that fuckers reign and even if they hated you for what happened inside Hilltop, you made up for it by ending it. Ending him."

Nodding slightly Valentine muttered, "I'll go I just… I may not be in the best mindset when there. Don't count on me to be… with it."

Snorting Rick pulled her into a hug and teased, "when are you?"

* * *

 

"I want to go with you." Penny growled, her little arms crossed tightly as Valentine helped load up the truck with their supplies for Hilltop. The truck bed was stacked with ammo and weaponry as well as sundries from numerous scavenges. Rick had also put Eugene to work creating not only solar energy kits but water purification units for trade. If they could keep producing needed gear, Rick was sure Hilltop would provide them with crops until their own became bountiful.

"You can't. You'll stay here and keep watch with Sasha." Valentine answered, closing the truck bed with a loud thump.

"But-."

"No buts. You'll stay here." She interrupted the girl's begging, giving her a stern look. "I need you to stay here so I can concentrate out there."

"I can take care of myself." Penny sneered, her eyes angry but tinged with worry. Crouching down Valentine inquired, "why are you worried?"

"M'not scared of nothing." The girl snapped, her face turning away. Valentine watched the wobble in her chin and sighed, gently turning the girl's face to look at her. "Talk to me Pen."

"D-don't call me that." She sobbed, her fists pounding on Valentine's chest and arms. Grabbing her tiny hands, Valentine pulled the struggling girl into her arms despite the attempts at hitting and kicking her.

"Shhh." Valentine soothed, "stop Penny. Stop."

The girl tuckered herself out, and eventually clung to Valentine's clothing. Standing up, she walked away from the group watching the emotional breakdown. Penny was wrapped around her, her legs and arms tightening as the girl sobbed.

Smoothing her hand up and down her shuddering back, Valentine asked, "what're you scared of Penny?"

"W-what if y-you don't come back?" Penny whispered through hiccups and more tears. Frowning Valentine pulled back and made the girl look at her. "I will."

"You can't promise that. Daddy promised he'd never go after mama died and then he died and now you are!" She sobbed, her hands clenching Valentine jacket tightly.

Sighing Valentine pulled Penny from her front, setting her down on her feet. She crouched in front of her, wiping away the girl's tears and snot with a bandana from her pocket. The girl's little sobs died off turning into jagged gasps before she finally sat down heavily.

"I can't promise you nothing will ever happen to me." Valentine replied, the woman coming to the realization that there wasn't anyway around the hard truth. "I can't promise that I won't go out there and not come back." Silent tears trailed down the girl's cheeks.

"This world... it's not dependable. It's not fair and people die." She continued, her eyes sad and mouth downturned. "You know it. I know it."

Penny sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Valentine cupped her cheek and spoke firmly, "but I can promise that you will always be taken care of, if not by me, then by someone here. You have family. More than you had before and if anything, god forbid, happens to me out there, these people will take care of you."

Penny bit her lip as a new wave of tears wanted to make its way out. Valentine smiled sadly and assured, "I can also promise that I will do anything, and I mean anything, to get back here to you." Penny looked up with teary green eyes, the giant orbs large and vulnerable.

"You know what I'm capable of right?" She asked, her eyebrow raised and a smirked curling her lips. Penny nodded slowly, her back stiffing up as if trying to be brave.

"You're my family now Penny and I will do anything I have too for family."

Hugging her tightly, Valentine kissed her head and murmured, "love you Pen."

A little sob broke through her lips as Penny bawled, "love you too Val."

Patting her back a few times she pulled back and framed the girl's face. "Now I want you to stick to Sasha on watch. You keep an eye out for trouble and listen to her instructions. She's a better shot than me so you can learn something from her."

Penny nodded, her little armor sliding back on as she noticed the others watching. Crossing her arms tightly she replied, "yes ma'am."

"When you aren't up there I want you to stick with Beth, Carl and Judith. You help protect that little one okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good girl. We'll be back in a few days." She spoke firmly, "then you and I are going to keep training. I want to teach you how to use a knife. You won't always have a gun."

Nodding once, Penny threw her arms around Valentine one more time and whispered, "thank you."

"You're welcome. No go on. Sasha's waiting for you." She instructed, aiming the girl towards the large scout tower in the center of town. Valentine watched her climb, Sasha waving to her as Penny got to safety. Nodding to them both, Valentine headed to Daryl. She watched him triple check his saddlebags and tinker with the finicky fuel line. As she reached him, he stood up, kissing her temple while asking, "she a'right?"

"Better now." Valentine replied, tightening her packs straps and adjusting her weapons belt. Daryl threw a leg over his bike and sat down heavily, his hand out to help her climb on behind him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she squeezed him tightly while kissing his neck.

"Ya good?" He rasped, his hand stroking her thigh as he looked over his shoulder at her. Smiling widely she squeezed him again and exclaimed, "Hi Yo Silver!"

Snorting Daryl kick starts the engine and hollered, "nerd."

* * *

 

Hilltop looked almost exactly like it had all that time ago. As they pulled through the large gates Valentine had a strange deja vu, the scene too familiar. She felt her chest tighten as people began to approach them, men, women and children. Some looked fearful, old habits dying hard but some smiled and even waved. Daryl pulled the bike over to the side, his hand out to help her to her feet. She stumbled a little as her legs shook but balanced herself with Daryl's helping hand.

Jesus as well as a few others walked down the large porch stairs toward the trucks being unloaded. Valentine stayed back as they greeted each other. Near the large building Valentine caught sight of Tory, on her hip a infant and at her side a young girl. She still had her platinum white hair but it was now cut short, her body had filled out to a healthier weight. Chewing her lip Valentine glanced at Daryl and whispered, "stay?"

Glancing down he nodded a few times and rasped, " 'course."

Tory nodded to Jesus, handing off the young girl before approaching Valentine and Daryl. She wore a long tunic over a pair of cargo pants, tucked into a pair of combat boots. As she reached them, Tory smiled, adjusting the infant to her other hip before stretching out a hand to Daryl, "hi I'm Tory."

Glancing at Valentine first, Daryl shook her hand and grunted, "Daryl."

"Nice to meet you Daryl. Could we have a moment?" Tory asked, her eyes jumping between the two of them. Daryl stared at Valentine intently, the man obviously only doing what she wanted. Biting her lip she nodded once and muttered, "m'alright."

Daryl stood there for another second before heading away. Tory smiled kindly at Daryl as he passed before turning her attention to Valentine. "I'm not sure if you remember me."

Valentine nodded once, clearing her throat of nerves, "yeah. I do."

Dipping her chin, Tory was obviously thinking about Sanctuary, her eyes going distant for a moment before her face broke into a watery smile. "I'm glad you came."

Chewing her lip nervously Valentine's eyes fell to the baby in Tory's arms. The infant had a thick head of dark hair, the obvious attribute of the father. Her throat went dry at the sight, as graphic memories of gripping Negan's hair in a tight fists flashed through her mind. Blinking forcefully she glanced at the mother, the woman seeing right through her. Pursing her lips she stared at her feet and murmured, "I'm glad you made it out."

"I'm out, my kids are out because of you." Tory's voice brought Valentine's eyes up, her face tense as she looked at the mother of two. "Hope, would never have been born and I would never have escaped. I did what I had to there. Shit I am not proud of. Shit that-." Tory stopped and looked away, swallowing audibly. Valentine moved closer, her eyes looking over the baby, who she now saw was a little girl. A pudgy fist was jammed in her mouth as she slobbered on her mothers shirt.

"I regret a lot of that shit but I don't regret Hope. I figure I had to go through it all in order to get her so it was worth it. I'm sure you feel the same way." Her light eyes landed on Daryl who stood far away but his eyes were glued to her.

Looking up at Tory Valentine nodded, "yeah, I do."

They stood silently as Hope gurgled, blowing bubbles down her chin. "I'm sorry for what happened after I killed him." Valentine finally spoke the words that had been sitting in the back of her throat for weeks now. "I'm not. It was bad. Real bad but after we got out it got easier. You freed us, let us have a chance." Tory insisted, her fanatic tone making Valentine's anger flare. She couldn't help the tirade. "I'm no hero. I killed him for selfish reasons. I did it because I hated him, because- because I hated me. I killed him because I was turning into him." Taking a deep breath Valentine tried to speak calmer, "I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself. I don't deserve any gratitude for it."

"It may have been for selfish reasons but you still saved me. Saved my kids and there isn't anything you can say that changes it." Tory spoke firmly, her gray eyes drilling holes into Valentine. "We all saw what he did to you, things I wouldn't have lived through. And here you are, living and breathing and loving." She finished with a teasing grin. Rolling her eyes Valentine snorted, her cheeks blushing.

Tory laughed a little and wiped the baby's face with a cloth. "You might not think you deserve gratitude but in my eyes and many others who got out, you do. So thank you."

Valentine dipped her chin, chewing her cheek before asking, "can I hold her?"

* * *

 

"So it went aright?" Daryl asked, his back resting against the headboard behind him. Valentine lay curled on her side, her cheek pressed into his ribs and arm draped over his waist. He wound a strand of her hair around his finger lazily, the curl bouncing off as he released it.

"Yeah it was good."

"Wanna talk about it?" He rasped, brushing hair off her forehead, his thumb tracing a scar along her hairline. Valentine tilted her head up and smiled softly. "Maybe later."

"Aright. I'm here whenever." He replied with a grin, kissing the crown of her head as she lay down again. Daryl had watched the two women talk and at one point he could tell Valentine was upset but it calmed down relatively quickly. He wasn't sure what to expect when the two met. There had been fear of Tory's motives but it seemed to have turned out to be purely motivated by gratitude.

"Did Penny ask you yet?" Valentine's voice jolted him from the edge of sleep, his heavy eyes looking down at the mop of blonde hair. He pondered for a moment, his mind muddled and unsure what Valentine was talking about until he remembered. Snorting he rasped, "yeah."

"Are you going to teach her?"

"Gonna find her one of her own." He replied with a tiny smirk. "Kid weighs less the damn thing. She won't be able to lift it."

Valentine laughed slightly and peered up at him, "don't underestimate that one, Daryl. She's determined."

"Sounds like someone I know." He drawled with an amused twinkle in his eye, his hands squeezing her closer. Daryl stroked her back and kissed her forehead.

"You're ok with having her around so much right?" She asked with a furrowed brow. "I never asked you."

" 'course it's aright." He replied, his lip twitching, "woulda told ya if it weren't."

"Once we get into the new townhomes… would it be ok if she lives with us. I told Aaron to get us a two bedroom. Just the three of us." Valentine's voice was nervous, her eyes hesitant. Smiling Daryl cupped her cheek, "wouldn't have it any other way."


	50. Chapter 50

Valentine and Daryl walked side by side up the main street of Alexandria to meet the returning group that covered the trade routes. Before any outgoing supplies shipment went out the counsel would assign a six-man crew to clear the route of all the dead and any roadblocks, as well as scout for the living. The first time the shipment was stolen and residents murdered was enough for the community to take precautionary measures. Abraham led this round, the man being organized and well trained in defending a target.

"It go a'right?" Daryl asked as he reached the tall redhead climbing out of the large truck cab. Valentine could tell things hadn't gone as planned without him even speaking, the man's deep frown and furrowed brow was enough but the large splash of blood across his chest spoke volumes.

"Lost Everett and Tabby." He grunted, rubbing his eyes roughly with his thumb and forefinger.

"How?" Valentine inquired tensely, her eyes jumping to the men removing two bodies from the truck bed, both draped with tarps.

"Just a fucking accident that steamrolled into a total shit storm. Barely made it out with my short hairs." He rasped, his eyes skipping to Sara, Everett's wife. "Mother dick. I gotta go give Ev's wife the bad news."

"Want me to go with?" Heath asked from the truck bed, a large crate of gear in his arms.

"No. This is my fucking mess." Abraham sneered, his face turning to stone as he approached the newly widowed. Sharp jagged cries echoed down the street as the towering man caught the broken woman after delivering the news. Grinding her teeth Valentine motioned for Daryl to leave with her, the pair walking back towards the command center and armory.

Frowning Valentine peered over at Daryl and murmured, "Need to get the counsel together and debrief everybody. Figure out what went wrong and if it can be prevented."

Grunting in response, Daryl ticked his chin towards Rick's house, "I'll round up Rick and Chone. Think they're still all cozy in bed." The man hadn't stopped ribbing the couple for they're newly developed status. It was a favorite past time for him.

Snorting Valentine poked him in the stomach playfully, "You're just jealous."

"Hell yeah I am. We gotta get up before the damn birds and those lazy asses get to hit the snooze." He bitched but couldn't hold back the smile. "Damn newlyweds."

Laughing Valentine grabbed his leather vest, reeling him in for a soft yet thorough kiss. Her breath ghosted over his lips as she breathed, "Later, when everything's settled, we'll take a nap."

"Mmm." He hummed gruffly, his nose brushing across her cheek before he kissed her temple sweetly. "Sounds good darlin'."

Pulling back the couple went their separate ways to round up the group now in charge of the community. Rick and Michonne as well as Daryl and Valentine headed up most of the decisions but Heath, Aaron and Olivia were also involved. Each person had a field of specialty, Rick and Michonne dealt with most security and development issues while Aaron and Heath dealt with all scavenges or trades missions. Olivia kept a close eye on the communities inventory as well as keeping track of what else the community needed. Daryl and Valentine were the swing votes for anything and everything. Both helped with solving whatever issues that came up.

* * *

 

"Olivia." Valentine called out as she walked into the supply building. Hearing shuffling in the back office, Valentine wandered towards with curiosity. It was early but Olivia was always an early riser.

"Olivia?" Valentine repeated while pushing open the office door before freezing still. Clenching her eyes shut at the scene in front of her, she blurted, "Shit. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry."

Finding Olivia and Eugene in throws of some kind of office kink sex was the last thing Valentine had expected when walking into the supply office.

"Fuck." She muttered, scrubbing her eyes while standing in the hallway. Clearing her throat awkwardly she hollered, "Ummm the counsels meeting at headquarters... um come when you ready. I mean. Shit. Fuck. Yeah see you soon."

Shaking her head almost violently, Valentine escaped the building quickly, bursting out onto the porch only to run head first into Aaron.

"Fuck. Sorry." She exclaimed, her eyes wide and edgy, the whole experience making her cringe. Aaron's face hardened and he asked, "Are you okay? What's going on?"

Shaking her head, she burst into laughter and covered her face, her shoulders shaking with amusement. Aaron's face smoothed over and he cocked an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"I just..." Valentine trailed off, barking out a laugh again before saying, "I just got an eye full of shit I never ever needed to see."

"Oh, you saw Olivia and Eugene huh?" He inquired, both of them leaving the porch to head towards the counsel meeting.

Snorting Valentine drawled, "Wasn't aware they were a thing but yes, I saw more than I ever needed."

Aaron laughed, hooking his arm through Valentine's as they strolled towards the group meeting. "You're one of the few that hadn't I suppose. They've been going at it for months now. I found out when I walked past the gazebo one night and heard him say 'That is an adequate amount of suction."

Chuckling with a grimace, Valentine looked towards the street that now housed a new group. They'd found a group of six people, a few sick from what looked like a flu virus. They were brought back despite it but weren't allowed to mingle yet. "How are they doing?"

Aaron shrugged slightly, "Good as they can I suppose. Two of them are still quarantined and it doesn't look good but the rest got a clean bill of health from William and Denise."

"Good. Anyone else catch it?"

"No. Looks like we figured it out before it spread." Aaron explained, pulling open the door to the office. "We lucked out. I want to speak to William about setting up a better protocol for new residents. We can't risk something spreading in here."

"Good idea. Health screening or something." She offered, her eyes catching Rick's with a smirk. The man had the decency to blush at his wild hair and rumpled clothing, Michonne looking just as embarrassed for their late rise.

"I think its adorable." Aaron commented, his mouth quirked up. "Let them enjoy the early days before they start bitching about each others bad habits."

Valentine smiled, nodding in agreement. "Yeah. It's still fun to fuck with them though."

* * *

 

Carl sat with Valentine as she kept watch in the tower. Glancing down she watched as he read over a new comic book brought back from Hilltop. "Any good?" She asked without putting her binoculars down.

"It's alright. Kinda predictable." He muttered, his tone more sullen than to be about a comicbook. Pursing her lips Valentine asked, "what's up?"

"Nothin'." He grumbled, his shoulders sagging even further. "Me and Enid had a fight."

"About what?" She asked, biting into a slice of cucumber from the lunch bag Carl brought up.

"Are all girls crazy?" He asked in a huff, avoiding her question but exposing his feelings. "I mean do they grow out of it?"

Valentine chewed her food slowly, a smirk curling her lip. "Oh Carl. My sweet sweet boy. Never ask that again, to anyone." She chuckled, slapping him on the shoulder. "Do I seem stable to you?"

The teens face dropped slightly before he grinned as she playfully shoved him. "Hey. I was kidding!" He squealed as she poked and prodded his ribs making him squirm. Out of breath and still chuckling Carl rested against the structures short wall. Valentine smirked, her goal to break the tension and get him out of his head a for a few minutes.

"Enid wants to move to Hilltop." Carl confessed, his head tilting up to look at Valentine. "I want to go with her but she doesn't want me too."

"Why does she want to move there?" Valentine asked, her chest tightening at the thought of Carl being so far away.

"She says she likes it there better. That Alexandria has bad memories." He explained, crossing his arms tightly before he added, "which I don't get, I mean we met here so how can there be bad ones?"

"She thinking about the wolves and the dead?"

Shrugging he mumbled, "she won't say. I think it's that but I'm scared she just wants to run away. I think she knows dad will say no and then she'll be free of me."

Valentine frowned at the statement and pictured the two together at their last get together. She could tell the girl adored Carl despite her edgy, monotone personality. She couldn't judge Enid for her poor social skills, Valentine struggled to be well adjust too.

"You want me to talk to her?"

"No. She'll just be pissed off more that I told anyone." He sulked, crossing his arms and sinking further into the wall. "She gets pissed all the time and then won't tell me. I told you she's crazy."

"She not crazy Carl. This world is and surviving in it isn't for the faint of heart." Valentine assured, turning to look at him fully. "Look, from what I know, Enid lost her folks in front of her and when she showed up here, she'd been alone out there for months. She's not used to family and probably thinks any minute now something terrible gonna happen and she'll be back out there all by herself. She's not crazy, she's a survivor trying to protect herself."

"From what?"

"From losing someone she loves." Valentine spoke slowly, her eyes taking in Carl's wrinkled forehead and squinting eye. He scratched the temple below his eye patch and stayed silent. Valentine smirked a little as the teen who was well on his way to being a man.

"You think?"

"She loves you Carl. Don't be so dense." Valentine teased, kicking his outstretched leg playfully. "Do you love her?"

Carl swallowed thickly, his remaining eye nervous and wide. "Maybe." He croaked, clearing his throat he seemed to find some kind of resolve before adding, "yeah. Yeah I do."

"What you should do is tell her how you feel. Tell her she's not alone and that you're scared of losing her just as much." Valentine instructed, her chest clenching at the next words. "Tell her you'll go to Hilltop if that's where she wants to live."

"What about dad?"

"I'll talk to your dad. You're near the age you'd be heading to college anyways." She offered, shrugging her shoulder as if the idea was not bothersome. "We all gotta grow up sometime and I think this world has proved age doesn't necessarily determine a person ability to survive. Hilltops safe. You'd get to learn new shit and maybe it'll be good for both of you to have a little freedom."

Carl was quiet for awhile before he murmured, "I'd miss everybody."

Smiling sadly Valentine suggested, "well maybe she'll change her mind if you tell her you feel the same way about her."

"Maybe." He huffed, his gaze falling to the comic book in his lap. "Thanks Val."

"Anytime." She replied, her eyes going back to the surrounding forest.

* * *

 

Michonne stood in the kitchen with Judith, her hand stirring a pot of some kind of soup. Valentine smirked at the girl sitting on the edge of the countertop, she was growing up so fast. The girl who was nearly a toddler when Valentine joined the group in that prison turned refuge, was now at the age she would be entering preschool. It was mind blowing and hope stirring. If such an innocent spirit could survive in the new world, despite all that sorrow and despair, maybe they all would.

"Tell Maggie and Glenn I'm sorry for not coming and seeing the baby." Michonne instructed, handing Judith a bowl of food. "Eat and then practice your letters like Ms. Leigh wanted you to."

"Do I have too? It's boring. I wanna go with Carl to the factory." Judith whined, her brow furrowed, "he gets to do fun stuff and I always gotta do lessons. It's dumb."

Michonne was obviously holding back a giant grin at the girl's complaints. Valentine didn't bother, her lips curled and eyes bright. "Lessons are important." Michonne informed after clearing her throat of laughter.

"But-."

"No buts. You are going to do your work and then maybe we can go to armory. We can count ammo."

"That's just dumb school too. I'm not stupid."

"We know you aren't. It's why we give you time to get smarter." Valentine said before adding, "go on. I need to talk to Michonne."

The girl hopped off the counter, grumbling a few more protests before finally leaving the women alone. Valentine waited for the bedroom door to close to start snickering uncontrollably. "Finally you're dealing with backtalk too."

Michonne crossed her arms and glared, "Shut up. It's like a damn switch was flipped overnight."

Shrugging Valentine suggested, "she's growing up. Just like Carl. Who, fyi, will probably be giving you two some big news."

Michonne's face fell and she whispered, "she's pregnant isn't she."

Snorting loudly, Valentine teased, "not that I'm aware of but you'll make a wonderful grandmother."

The wideness of her closest friends eyes had Valentine breaking down and comforting her, rather than torturing her further. "Easy." She drawled with a dry chuckle, "it's not that. Enid is thinking of moving to Hilltop. Carl wants to go with if she goes through with it."

The woman's shoulders relaxed but she asked, "Why does she want to move there?"

"She's running from her feelings for Carl." Valentine explained matter-of-factly, sipping the tea Michonne had made earlier. "She doesn't want him to go, he wants to go. He asked me my advice on why girls are crazy."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him to never utter that question again to anyone." Valentine muttered with a smirk as Michonne barked out a laugh. "Then I told him to tell the girl he loves her already."

"I'm not sure if Rick will let him." Michonne spoke tentatively, her arms crossed and face thoughtful.

"It really isn't up to him. Carl is a young man in love and just as bullheaded as his father. If he does, it'll be fine." Valentine spoke with confidence. "I promised him that I would speak to Rick about it but I wanted to make sure it was ok with you."

Michonne cocked an eyebrow and drawled, "You're asking me permission?"

Rolling her eyes Valentine slapped her shoulder playfully, "Shuddup. I'm trying to be respectful of your new step mommy status."

"You and I both know Rick won't like it but… I think it might be ok."

"Of course it will."

* * *

 

Daryl sat with Rick after the group had discussed the disastrous clearing mission, both men sipping a beer that they'd gotten from Kingdom in the last trade. The lesson learned from the failed trip was to keep their guard up despite the amount of experience everyone had beyond the fences. Security became lax and two people died because of it. There was no room for relaxation when beyond the fences.

"How's Penny's training going?" Rick asked, his legs outstretched and propped on the porch railing. Daryl snorted, his head lolling to the side to give Rick an amused smirk. "Girls got a mouth on her but she listens. The bow I found her is workin' out."

"You still gonna take her out? After what happened?" Rick asked before sipping his beer.

"Ain't nothin' happenin' to that girl while I'm around." Daryl growled slightly, his hand tightening on the bottle in his hand. " 'sides she's smart enough to not fuck up like that."

Nodding Rick rasped, "just the three of ya goin'?"

Dipping his chin Daryl looked across the street at the two story townhouse they'd moved into, the light in the bedroom still on as Valentine got ready for bed. The trio was going on a hunting trip to bulk up their preserved meat supplies. The surrounding areas while teaming with small game had been cleared of larger animals. They would need to travel farther and higher to get the needed food stores.

"Yeah." He replied nodding a couple times before glancing at him. "We'll be good."

"A'right. Make sure ya take enough gear and a radio for emergencies." Rick instructed, gulping the last of his beverage, "now if you'll excuse me. Chone said she had somethin' she wanted to talk about."

"Shit brother, ya in the doghouse already?" Daryl teased, his eyes amused "ya need a couch t'sleep on?"

"Fuck off Dixon." Rick muttered with a curled lip, "go on home to your girls, let me worry 'bout mine."

Daryl sat another moment after the door closed, sipping the rest of his beer as he watched Penny's bedroom light turn off and Valentine's shadow move around theirs. Climbing to his feet he sauntered across the street, slowly climbing the steps before sliding inside and locking up. He could here Penny speaking quietly in her room, the girl still reciting the prayers her folks had her say every night. Leaning against the door frame he eavesdropped a moment when he heard his name.

"Please let Daryl, Valentine and me find food. We need it. If I could catch somethin' that'd be great too. I wanna show 'em I can do it. I wanna make Daryl proud of teachin' me real good." Penny's voice was quiet but Daryl could hear her go on to pray for her parents and then end with an amen. Smiling at her tiny voice, Daryl treaded quietly to the master bedroom. Peeking inside he found Valentine sitting cross legged on the bed while packing her bag for the following morning. Pushing the door open slowly, Valentine tipped her face up and smiled at him. Daryl wasn't sure when he became so dependent on seeing her smile but just a glimpse of it had his chest loosening and shoulders dropping the weight of the day.

"Everything alright?" She asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed heavily with a groan. Nodding he untied his boots and glanced at her over his shoulder. "Ya good for tomorrow?"

Valentine pursed her lips a moment before responding, "yeah. You think taking Penny is a good idea?"

"Yeah." He replied with a bob of his head, "she'll do good. Just heard her prayin' for a good haul."

Smiling softly Valentine crawled across the bed to wrap her arms around Daryl's shoulders and chest, her face pressing into the side of his neck. His eyes slid closed as the feeling of her warm body soaked into his sore bones, her kisses along his tanned neck making him groan softly.

"Girl." He murmured as her hands slid underneath his shirt, her fingers skittering across his chest and down his stomach.

"Yeah." She breathed against his neck before her tongue traced the shell of his ear. "You wanna stop?" She asked, her warm breath causing goosebumps to rise along his arms.

"Fuck no." He growled, flipping around before she knew what was coming. A sharp squeal erupted from her as he tossed her backwards onto the bed before prowling over her. Valentine grinned upwards at him, her cheeks flushing as he pulled off her pants and tugged off her shirt.

"In a hurry?" She giggled, as he yanked at her bra in frustration. Glaring at her he growled, "gonna get it woman. Take this thing off 'fore I cut it off."

Once bare they moved slower, Daryl's hands sliding over her soft skin and dipping into her wet heat. He watched her eyes flutter and lips part as he worked, the sight quickly becoming the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"I love you Valentine." He rasped, his voice sounding rough and harsh despite the soft words. Her eyes fluttered at the sound, her gaze landing on his for what felt like an eternity. Daryl dipped his head to kiss her plump lips, pulling on them gently as she moaned. "Love you Daryl. So much."

* * *

 

The trio sat perched in a deer blind Daryl constructed a few weeks prior. He didn't often use one, the man rather fond of hunting down his game but the wait and ready method worked also. Penny's eyes were glued to the forest below them, her head on a constant swivel as she searched for any sign of movement. Valentine was just as aware but Daryl could tell she was thinking of something else.

A branch snapped off to their right causing Penny to perk up, her small body straight and tightly coiled. Her hands held her bow ready as she trailed over the area for a moment.

"Easy." Daryl instructed quietly, his own bow ready for anything. "Wait it out."

Valentine sat as still as stone as the others sat poised to kill. The sound of antlers hitting bark caught their attention, a large buck stepped through the brush, its head down and grazing.

Biting her lip Penny glanced at Daryl for permission and he murmured, "go on when ya got a shot. Ya know where t'aim."

"What if I miss?" She whispered, her brow wrinkled with worry.

"I'll back ya up." He offered, his own bow still pointed at the large feeding animal. Holding her breath, Daryl watched as Penny's little arm straightened out, the tight string of her bow pulled taut. On her exhale the young girl let her arrow fly, the sharp pointed weapon landing in the deer's neck causing it to cry out. The animal bucked at the intrusion, causing Penny to gasp. Daryl let his own bolt go, his well aimed shot hitting the animal in its right eye causing it to fall heavily to the ground. The forest grew quiet as the birds fled the trees during the kill. He could tell the deer wasn't completely dead yet, its ragged breath huffed out sounding wet and painful. Moving quickly, Daryl climbed down the tree and hopped to the ground. He strode over to the animal, kneeling at its head with his blade out. With a swift stab to its skull, he put the animal out of its misery and turned to see Valentine helping Penny from the blind.

Penny stood nearby, her bow hanging from her hand limply as she frowned at the dead animal. Daryl glanced at Valentine, both adults holding their breath for the girl's reaction. He grew up hunting and in a way so had Penny but Daryl was pretty sure it was the first time she'd killed animal so large. Killing a deer was drastically different than a squirrel.

"Ya ok?" He rasped, his eyebrow raised as the girl stayed quiet.

Nodding slowly her watery eyes met his as she murmured, "I didn't mean to hurt it. I should've done better."

Shaking his head, Daryl drawled, "ya did real good Pen. Ain't no way to do it completely painless. Even my shot didn't end it."

Chewing her lip she knelt down next to the large beast, it's fur blowing slightly in the wind. "M'sorry we had to kill you." She whispered, bending over to kiss it on the temple.

"Nothin'll go t'waste." Daryl informed, motioning for the ropes Valentine carried. "We'll preserve the meat and dry the hide for winter clothing. The antlers are gonna be used at Hilltop for weapon hilts and the fat used for soap and candles. This biggun will go a long way Penny." He drawled, while tying up the hoofs to string it up. Daryl thought about the night before and the girl's sweet prayers murmured behind her door. He wasn't one to give out much praise but couldn't help but say it. "Ya did real good girl. M'proud of ya Pen."

Penny smiled widely at him and when he stood she hugged his waist tightly. "Thanks for teachin' me Daryl."

Cupping the back of her head, Daryl patted her back awkwardly while glaring at a grinning Valentine. It wasn't often that he received hugs, mainly from only Valentine but there was something about Penny that had him ok with the affection. Hesitating a moment he eventually wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her back. Clearing his throat he instructed, "a'right, a'right. We gotta get this bastard strung up and cleaned before the dead come."

Nodding firmly, Penny pulled back and grinned again. "Tell me what to do."

* * *

 

They brought the deer home after hauling the beast out of the woods to their truck. Along the way Penny shot two rabbits and four squirrels, her grin growing wider and brighter despite the exhaustion. Valentine kept smirking as Daryl gave her pointers and tips of her stance. She couldn't get over how sweet he was with the girl, the man quickly becoming a father figure without even realizing it.

As they pulled into Alexandria they were met with large smiles and a few friendly faces from Hilltop.

"What're y'all doin' here?" Daryl drawled as they hopped out of the truck as Jesus wandered towards them.

"Well I heard a rumor that the great Daryl Dixon was hunting and figured you'd be bringing back something mouthwatering." Jesus explained with a dimple framed grin, his tone flirtatious. Valentine chuckled as Daryl shoved the guy out of the way, grumbled, "Fuck off."

The pair hadn't gotten a long at first, Daryl being too high strung to deal with Jesus's constant teasing and flirting. Valentine thought it was hilarious and would be jealous if it weren't for Daryl unbendable sexual orientation.

"What can't a guy enjoy another guys freshly caught meat?" Jesus joked with playful eyes. Valentine barked out a laugh as Daryl stomped to the back of the truck bed.

"Shut your fuckin' trap and help me haul this big bastard to the shed." Daryl hollered, his eyes narrowed yet amused. Valentine knew he wouldn't admit it but despite Jesus getting on his nerves, the two got along quite well.

"Big tough guy." Jesus muttered under his breath to a smirking Valentine before climbing in the truck-bed to help.

"So what's up? We're coming to pick up in a few days." Valentine asked, her arms resting on the tailgate, "you miss Daryl's pretty face that much?"

The glare shot towards her told Valentine she was in for it later. Jesus laughed while hauling one side of the deers trussed up limbs. "Don't you know it." He breathed while batting his eyes at the man.

"How 'bout both y'all fuck off and leave me be?" Daryl bitched as they dropped the body in the shed he used to butcher their game. Penny sat off to the side preparing the small animals she caught, her eyes raising as they entered.

Daryl ignored Jesus and Valentine's chuckles, turning to the girl. "Good job Pen. I'll get this guy portioned, then I'll show ya how we hang it to dry."

"C'mon Jesus. Let the man be." Valentine tried to save herself some grief by pulling the man out of the shed with a short backwards glance. "Don't stay late you two."

Daryl grunted, his eyes narrowed with irritation but his lips twitch just the same. Penny waved a bloody hand at her before replying, "yes ma'am."

The two walked down the street towards Rick's home, the streets darkening as the sun set. Jesus hooked his arm with hers and he drawled, "he's a looker but damn does he need a personality adjustment."

Snorting Valentine replied, "I think he's perfect the way he is."

"Ahh. And that is why your perfect for each other." He sighed, grinning sideways at her. "Your babies will be stunning."

Valentine's stomach clenched at the statement, her eyes narrowing. Jesus's smile widened and he teased, "what? Never thought about it? I mean how could you not with a man like that?"

"Fuck off." Valentine grumbled, looking away before answering, "besides. We have Penny and that's more than enough in a world like this."

Jesus snorted and peered over at her, the teasing gone from his eyes. "That's where you're wrong Val. This world needs a little more innocence in my opinion."

* * *

 

The room was loud, families and friends gathering in the large home turned community hall. Long tables were stretched out, different couples and group sitting down for the meal brought back from the trios hunt. Half the buck was stored for jerky while a third was to be canned. The rest was divided into rations as well as one group meal. The women in charge of stretching their meals while still providing filling, balanced meals had made a stew with the venison, black and navy beans grown and dried in Hilltop as well as potatoes and carrots from Alexandria. The gardens root vegetables had taken off, the loose earth seeming perfect for the hardy plants. A few loafs of rosemary bread were also passed around, a luxury but well deserved.

Valentine leaned into Daryl's side as they sat on the long plank benches. She chewed her food thoughtfully as Daryl chatted with Heath about a scouting mission to their east. There was chatter about another community and the need to discover the truth being immanent. For better or worst, they needed to know their neighbors.

Daryl sat with his hand resting on her thigh comfortably as he spoke about the trip. Glancing around the table, Valentine watched as Michonne threw her head back laughing at words whispered in her ear by Rick. Next to him sat Aaron who was bowing his head to listen to Penny describe the hunt they went on. Smiling at the sight of the girl bragging to Aaron about the game she caught.

Behind her, she could hear Eugene, Tara and Denise talking about some movie they all loved and all the reasons why the sequel should never have been made. Carl sat with Judith and Enid, the teenage girl looking far more relaxed, her dimples showing for the first time since Valentine met her.

One table over Abraham sat with Sasha, both having settled in close together. She watched the large brash man scrape extra food onto Sasha's plate when she glanced away. Snickering Valentine caught Daryl's attention, his hand squeezing her thigh affectionately. Cocking an eyebrow at her in questioned, Daryl's lip curled slightly. Smiling at him she shook her head gently while telling him, "nothin'."

"Ya good?"

Quirking her lip, Valentine dipped her chin, "real good. You?"

Leaning towards her, Daryl kissed her temple despite the onlookers and whispered, "m'real good too."

The world was full of pain and sorrow, everyone had lost loved ones and friends but the remarkable thing about human beings was their ability to survive. New bonds were formed making new families and despite the world as society knew it ending, there would always be survivors. The strength in man was born from the visceral instinct to never surrender, never give in. It was a fight to survive and a struggle to love but Valentine had done it. She had saved and had been saved, and now she got to live amongst those she loved. It was never perfect and nowhere was always safe but they had each other. And that's all they needed.

 


	51. Epilogue

Valentine tiptoed through the snow, the soft crunch of boots on ice disturbing the silent forest. She scanned the ground before her, narrowed eyes looking for the much desired tracks. The woman wore a thick leather coat lined in fur over the cable knit sweater she'd made last year with Penny. Becoming self sufficient had become standard practice to survive the new world. It'd been over five years since the world fell, society and humanity buckling under the pressure of the undead.

Alexandria was still thriving, the community more than three times its original size. Word had gotten out and they began receiving survivors from hundreds of miles away. They still traded with Hilltop but were also working with two other camps. Kingdom was the second survivor camp Alexandrians met, the place odd yet still worthwhile. It was run by a King who was guarded by an actual tiger. Valentine and Daryl visited once and found it was more than enough. They preferred to live in reality, not medieval times.

The third place they gained trade routes with was a coastal camp. They'd survived by living at an abandoned shipyard, their living quarters on long ago docked ships. Most lived in shipping containers modified for habitation. St Mary's survived by fishing the coast and ran on wind generated electricity. Their numbers weren't large but they consisted of local fishermen as well as academia from the nearby engineering university. The trade of salt preserved and smoked fish brought not only new variety to everyone's diets but provided missing nutrition everyone needed.

A sound to the right side of her had Valentine freezing in place, her body crouching while pulling back the tough string on her bow. It had taken awhile but Valentine was finally able to use the weapon Daryl brought home from Kingdom. Her blades worked on close combat but archery gave her the safety of distance. They may be able to produce ammunitions but preservation of the resource was always preferred.

Tilting her head to the side she peeked out from behind the thick trunk of an ancient pine. Above her the wind clacked the tree's wiry branches together, the animal's head in front of her, popping up with nervous attention. A twitch of its ears and wrinkle of its nose showed Valentine its next move, it had made her and was about to run.

Taking in a breathe Valentine let loose of the bowstring, her arrow piercing through the chilled winter air with sight blurring speed. The carved stone arrowhead plunged through the gray hare's eye socket with tight precision. Valentine's lips curled with satisfaction, her goal for the day finally complete. She woke with a craving and couldn't help but seek it out. It wasn't just food that brought her out though, she needed air and space. She loved her family and adored Daryl but sometimes, especially as of late, they'd been suffocating. It was purely done with love and concern but Valentine couldn't help but have irritation with it.

Wandering to the fallen rabbit, Valentine took in a deep breath. The cold air almost hurt her lungs but felt soul cleansing. Dragon breath expelled from her lips as she slowly bent down to pick up the dead game, the deep moan from the thick trees making her pause. A half frozen corpse shuffled through a shrub, its icy blue and black face cracking as it snapped its broken jaws.

Sighing, Valentine pulled a black ended arrow she reserved for walkers from her quiver, killing the dead man easily. She tied her kill to her belt before approaching the corpse for her arrow. The thing was almost nude, it's pants disintegrating after so long in the elements. She could see a tattoo on its shoulder, the name Abigail writing in script. Frowning Valentine couldn't help but think of the past, her husband's own tattoo flashing through her mind. He'd gotten it while on tour in some shithole in Germany during a layover. Her name surrounded by a heart had been so cheesy, yet so sweet. Pursing her lips, Valentine stepped away from the body to begin her trek back home, shaking the memory from her head. The past wasn't something she thought of much anymore but occasionally she would reminisce. She'd think of Sunday mornings with Paul and trips to the park with Michael. It seemed so long ago, almost as if it weren't real. Most of the time though she spent thinking of her current family. The living ones that she was lucky enough to see everyday. The ones she needed to get home too.

The jagged black shadows upon the stark white forest floor told her it was past noon, meaning Daryl was for sure to be searching for her. She had snuck out before dawn and there wasn't anyway he'd wait for her to return.

Worrying her lip, Valentine stepped across the trickling creek, its icy stones providing a dry path over. Slipping slightly, Valentine grabbed a snow covered branch for balance. Her breath caught in her throat as the she almost fell before a hand caught her wrist. Looking up she found Daryl's tense eyes looking her over for injury. He pulled her to the shore, his hand holding her with an iron grip.

"What the hell ya doin' out here? Are ya crazy or somethin'?" He hollered, his voice echoing off the packed snow and barren trees. Valentine's eyes widened at the volume and hissed, "Quiet! Jesus Daryl you're gonna call every damn walker this way."

"Fuck 'em. They're all damn near frozen anyways." He growled, his narrowed gaze harder than she'd seen in a long time.

'Shit.' She thought nervously, her lip chewed roughly.

"Seriously, what were ya thinkin' Val?" He muttered, his hand raking through his messy hair. She could tell he woke up and instantly left their tiny home. Shrugging under her thick layers, the motion barely showing she murmured, "I needed some air."

"Ya can't get air at home? Walk around town or somethin'. You can't come out here like this. Especially not alone. Can ya imagine if somethin happened?" He rasped, his voice getting louder and tighter as he obviously began picturing all the horrible things that could've happened. Valentine sighed, scrubbing her face before she reached out to grip his wrist. Pulling him closer she looked up at him and explained, "I needed to get out for a little. I need to be by myself. I'm never alone anymore and sometimes I can't relax. It's only gonna get harder and I just needed..."

"Air." Daryl drawled, nodding his head as if finally understanding. "I get it. Just.. ya can't leave and not tell me anything. What if-"

"Nothing happened." She offered, interrupting his negative thoughts.

"Woulda if I hadn't showed up, ya woulda fell." He complained as they began walking home. Rolling her eyes she muttered, "there was like an inch of water."

"Don't care. Coulda broke your damn ankle or something. Been stuck out here freezin' t'death."

Clenching her teeth she realized he was right however couldn't help but refuse to admit it. "You worry too much." She quipped, arching her brow at him as he grumbled curses under his breath.

They walked silently, both stepping carefully through the area the community had installed walker pits.

"So ya just wanted air huh?" He asked, looking down at the rabbit tied to her hip. "Looks like ya got more than air."

Chuckling Valentine felt her cheeks blush despite the frigid air, her eyes jumping to Daryl's amused ones. "Shuddup." She muttered, her breath puffing out a white cloud as she chuckled with him.

"Now. Now. C'mon and tell me." He teased, stopping her from walking to grip her coat. He playfully tugged on it and encouraged her, "tell me why."

Smirking she looked away and admitted, "I was craving rabbit okay?"

Daryl's gruff laugh had her smiling, her eyes watching him enjoy himself a little too much.

"Just had a hankerin' huh?" he murmured, his elusive grin cracking subtly.

"This is all your fault you know." She complained with a mock frown, her hand unzipping her jacket to expose the large curve under her thick sweater. "This little redneck shit is turning me into some kind of rabbit addict. I think we depleted all the hollows around."

Daryl laughed again, his warm breath hitting her cheek as he stepped in close to her. Her swollen stomach didn't allow them to hug easily so Daryl came in from the side, his large hand sliding along their soon to be first born. Humming deeply, Valentine felt his chest rumble with the sound of contentment. "Darlin' that's what ya get for carryin' a Dixon. Redneck through and through."

A short laugh was all she got before his mouth coupled to hers. His taste overwhelmed her as he explored her mouth expertly. They'd been together for what felt like decades but every time he kissed her felt like the first. Moaning as she gripped the front of his thick winter coat, he held her body as close as he could.

Their mouths slowed, cloudy breathes fogging the air around them. Daryl's forehead was cool to the touch, the skin pressing against her own chilled flesh.

"Let's get you two back sweetheart." He rasped with a concerned voice, his gloved hand brushing stray hair from her eyes, "Don't need no cold Val."

Kissing his cheek, Valentine straightened the thick knit scarf Penny had made him. "Will you skin it for me?" She asked with a little smirk she knew made him soften to any of her requests.

She could tell he knew what she was doing as he snorted loudly, Daryl teasing, "only 'cause it makes ya puke otherwise your ass would be doin' your own damn dirty work."

* * *

 

Daryl was cooking the rabbit on the fire pit in the backyard despite the snow coming down. No one could say he wouldn't do anything for the woman he loved. Smirking as he held his hands over the fire he watched the meat drip fat, the plump rabbit she caught big enough for all three of them. Laughing quietly at the absurdity, he glanced up at the window to see Penny watching from her bedroom window seat. She waved with a big grin, Daryl rolling his eyes at the ridiculousness of him cooking outside in a snow storm.

'Goddamn ya are some big kinda pussy ain't ya boy?' Merle would've ranted, his giant cheshire grin sneering in Daryl's minds eye.

"Worth it." He muttered to himself as the sound of boots crunching the newly fallen powder brought his eyes away from the flames.

"The hell ya doing Dixon?" Rick hollered from the fence between their homes.

"What's it look like Grimes?" He barked, his neck flushing with embarrassment below the warm scarf. "Woman's got a cravin'."

A loud laughed barked out of Rick as he chortled at the half frozen man frowning back at him. "That where she was this morning?"

"Yeah. Found her out there prowlin' for critters."

Rick laughed again and joked, "couldn't cook it inside huh?"

"Best over a open flame man. Ya know that."

"You're whipped man. Whipped." His brother teased, his bright eyes affectionate rather than cruel like Merle's would've been. Daryl rolled his own eyes and snapped, "Shuddup man. Woman deserves whatever she wants."

The smirk Rick gave him let him know he was only ribbing him because they both knew if Valentine needed anything Rick could provide, he'd do it. They weren't just friends, the pair were like siblings, twins even.

"Well don't burn it and get your ass inside before it falls off." Rick instructed with another chuckle before leaving for the warmth of his own home. Rotating the meat, Daryl decided it was done. He buried the fire with snow before hurrying inside to thaw out.

He climbed the stairwell, the warmth of the home making his skin sting almost painfully. Penny met him at the front door, the girl obviously watching and waiting for him.

"Thanks Pen." He murmured, ruffling her hair as he entered the kitchen. Standing in a pair of flannel pants and one of his t-shirts, Valentine smashed a few cooked potatoes for a side. He smiled at the sight of the large curve stretching the fabric, her hips swaying as she moved around the kitchen. Daryl had never had much in his life but now he had everything he never knew he wanted.

"Oh god. That smells good." She muttered, turning back to see him setting the cooked rabbit on the counter. Smiling crookedly at her he drawled, "Better. Think I froze my balls off."

Valentine laughed loudly and replied, "you're the one insisting to cook it outside."

"Yeah we'll smack me upside the head next time." He replied while sticking his finger in the potatoes for a taste. She smack his hand half heartedly, her lips twitching as he not so secretly took another scoop.

"Will you make sure Penny washed up? She was cleaning her bow again." Valentine asked while picking at the rabbit meat. Daryl chuckled at her, smacking her on the ass on his way out. "Bes' not eat it all. Deserve me some leg."

Penny was already in the bathroom, her hands soaped up as he leaned against the doorway. "Yeah, yeah. I'm doin' it." She muttered, looking up at him in the mirror with a frown. Daryl smirked, his arms crossed, "Its 'cause she cares."

"I know." Penny murmured, her eyes sinking to her hands as she rinsed. Daryl cocked an eyebrow at the girl's sullen face, the expression completely different than the one she had in the window.

Sitting down on the closed toilet seat he drawled, "what's wrong?"

"Nothin'." Penny grumbled with a scrunched nose, her mannerisms and expressions so close of his own bad habits. Poking her in the ribs teasingly he repeated, "what's wrong?"

"Just-." She started, her eyes not raising from the floor. Daryl touched her chin, tilting her face up to make eye contact with her. He could see the girl was troubled but wasn't sure what had happened in the last few minutes. "Talk t'me girl."

"When the baby's here... will I still live with you guys?" She asked, her words getting quieter and eyes more nervous as she continued, "I know I ain't your real kid and all but I'll help and I won't get in the way-."

"Hey." He stopped her, his hand squeezing her shoulder gently. "Ya ain't goin' no where Penny. Ever." Daryl couldn't believe she'd even think it but figured it was normal for a kid to get nervous about a new baby.

"Pen..." he rasped, shaking his head a little. Daryl wasn't one to speak his feelings much, he'd rather show them with actions, example being cooking in a snowstorm. The girl needed to hear it though, Daryl realizing despite Penny being with them for a couple years now she was still a kid. "You're our kid too, Pen." He spoke quietly, "Love ya like you're our own. Nothing and no one will change that."

Penny's chin wobbled making Daryl grimace slightly before he covered his discomfort up. Being affectionate and comforting crying kids was something he had to learn, it being something he never had growing up. Pulling her into a tight hug he felt her cry a little before she reeled the sadness in. "Thanks Daryl." She mumbled, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"Dinners all ready. Ya hungry ain't ya?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Let's go before Val eats it all."

"I heard that!" She hollered from the other room.

"Good! I wanted ya too." He joked, winking at Penny before adding, "Ya bes' listen too."

* * *

 

The pain started not even twenty four hours after Valentine expedition in the woods, something Daryl couldn't help but mention. Valentine would've rolled her eyes if it hadn't been for the stomach clenching contractions ripping through her. It surprised everyone, Valentine included, that she bore the child quickly and with relative ease. She wasn't sure if it was because she'd had a child before or if it were her high tolerance for pain but it seemed to fly by until the child emerged and was quiet. The silence was heart stopping, everyone in the room holding their breath as the blue faced kid seemed to hold their own. A sudden cracking squall had the rooms tension break, Valentine bursting into tears along with her baby.

"It's boy." William announced, holding out scissors for Daryl to cut the cord. With shaky hands, he snipped the tether his son had to his mother, his eyes raising to Valentine's bloodshot ones. She smiled despite the tear covered cheeks, her eyes crinkling with pure happiness.

"Ya did it girl." Daryl murmured, leaning in to kiss her before the doctor handed over the wrapped bundle.

"You decide on a name?" Rick asked from the other side of the room with Michonne, the couple joining the new parents.

"Jack." Daryl replied hoarsely, the boy name they'd settled on weeks before. Hovering over both of them, he pressed his forehead against Valentine's sweaty brow, both parents looking down at the red faced infant. Tilting forward, Daryl brushed his nose across hers and kissed her tear soaked cheeks. "Lookit what we made darlin'." He rasped so quietly only Valentine and Jack could hear.

"Looks like his daddy." She replied, kissing the baby's soft forehead with a smirk.

"Nah. I can see them curls already."


End file.
